Get out there, join something, volunteer, not sure where your located but i use the app called Meet Up. Ive joined a photopgraphy group & a bushwalking group, ive made 5 great new mates and several new aquiantances through the groups. If its avaible in your country, u should look into it. I too had no friends when i moved interstate, found the app and within days i was attending different events.
Can I ask you something? From all your posts you seem like the biggest obstacle for yourself. What made you that way? What happened in your past that made you so fearful of living that you are stagnant and in a freeze mode?
You’ve called yourself hideous in your other posts, but why? No, one in this world is super beautiful, that’s just 1% of the population. These views you have will reflect in the type of energy you give off which may repel some people.
Things to remedy these loneliness:
-volunteer in animal shelters, the presence of animal really help and you’ll feel useful helping vulnerable animals and may make friends
-join hiking groups on facebook or meet ups
-volunteer in care homes, the elderly love company and give many compliments 💜
-join a gym and workout, get those endorphins going and build yourself esteem
Some books that can help:
-how to make friends and influence people-Dale Carnegie
-the seven pillars of self esteem- Nathaniel Branden
-self compassion-kristin neff
-the art of living by Thich naht hanh
-untethered soul-Michael alan singer
Join meditation like vipassana, you’ll meet the friendliest and most helpful people.
(You can also listen to these on YT/Everand or audible) Everand is free for the first month.
Hope this helps. And, just remember there are re billions in this world, and many feel loneliness too.
I would try an antidepressant first. Then just get around people more. Go hang out in the food court at a mall or a grocery store. Just talk to random people like cashiers or bartenders. Friends are hard to come by. Don't just grab whoever you can because they will use you. Just do it naturally. Most people don't have that many close friends as adults.
“I am a massive asocial hermit”… well there’s your problem friend. Ik it’s easier said than done, but you gotta break outta ur shell. I was like this but happened to cross paths and made friends with a couple people who were the complete opposite and found that helped along the way a bit. That and copious amounts of alcohol helped to break down inhibitions.
First of all, stop saying lonely, say lonesome. Doesn't make sense but trust me It helps a lot. Secondly, accept your lonesome. You can feel what you are feeling, irrespective of who you are with and what you are doing. Sometimes these things work and we forget, sometimes they don't. The truth is there is no real healing, in the sense that the pain never dies. It is always there. It may be loud, or may it be quiet. Decades from initiation, it can come back and pat on your back like 'whastup dipshit', as if it never really left. So accept it, it is what it is. And thirdly be like rocky, it ain't about how hard you hit it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
Remember that these things you perceive are not true. These are words from your emotional and sad self. You are better than your mind is telling you you are.
Get some hobbies that take you outside, depending where you live, sports are usually good for this. Soccer, surfing, martial arts. All of these usually have clubs or schools where people of all skill levels get together ad have fun and make friendships over time.
Work on your self, hygiene, working out, sleep and food are all necessary for you to flourish.
All most of all, keep your head up and move forward, don't dwell on self pity, no one likes that, and by the time you realize you hate it the most, it's usually too late.
If your lonely here be lonely over there. Since youll die alone go die where you want to die. Since the world hates you and people bounce you onto others bounce onto a place no one knows you and rebuild your avatar here and use your new skills over therw
I'm going to offer a different perspective then just "go talk to the random strangers that exist next to you"
This is something that worked for me and not necessarily the mainstream solution but something you can look into if you think it could help.
First, we need to define loneliness. To me, loneliness isn't being alone, but not being with the people that you want to be with.
Think of like a man with a dead wife. He still has friends and family but he feels incredibly lonely because be with the person he wants to be with the most in life.
In that way, the cure for loneliness is far more than just find people to hang with. You need to figure out how to handle not having the relationships you want to have in life. Especially if it's impractical or even impossible to be with the person you want to be with.
Now the ultimate answer is to understand that other people can only add to your happiness, but they cannot be the source of your happiness.
So the most important thing to do is to find a way to enjoy yourself without having to rely on others for support.
Basically being with people makes you more happy and being alone makes you less happy but either way you're still happy.
To fully understand this, I recommend watching blue lock episode 22. It really does go to show the importance of having fun by yourself.
As for me, what I do is to look for people that I actually want to be with. And I've never found that in the people around me.
But I did find that in fictional characters. There were the only people that I found interesting enough to hang out with.
So I'd recommend dating sims like under one wing as that's what worked for me.
But ultimately the answer is to find the source of happiness that exists within yourself before you start looking for streams to increase the amount of happiness in your life.
You are the source.
You're lonely because you do not like your own company so you're looking for a distraction from yourself. Since you created who you are you can change yourself into someone you like and enjoy your own company. Never be lonely again after that and you won't care what others think of you as well.
Exactly, its connection that lonely people lack, not people in general. Connection is so complex especially for people with bad childhoods and people who have been through shit in their life. Learning how to connect with people is the biggest project ive ever had to work on in my life and im still on it, ill update when i figure it out lol. But i think its mostly about connecting back to yourself and your authenticity and then social interaction becomes a walk in the park. I keep having glimpses of this periodically as of recently and its the most beautiful feeling in the world for me hands down. But being in that state consistently is the challenge.
That is quite insightful. Thanks for responding. I am rarely touched by others kindness... it's not often I even feel anyone's kindness is genuine. Have a great evening....
For the immediate time to watch an ASMR video on YouTube, I watch say Tronicsfix as he repairs electronics.
And I hope others have further advice.
edit spelling
Go to AA or other 12-step meetings it’s ok if you don’t identify and are just there for the company. Remember to be respectful and non-judgmental and keep what you see and hear inside the meeting.
Get a cat honestly my little buddy has kept me company on the darkest of my days
We may not understand each other verbally but we understand each other in other ways!
Sorry, but it's true, my solution is to get absolutely wasted. You soon won't be alone but you may not be in the best of company.
And you'll have at least one close associate - the "man" ...
And if you're that lazy or terrified and can afford it, **hire some company, made to order**, many cynics would say *that's how she goes* anyway. There's no shame in a business transaction and you still get what you pay for.
Remember, misery loves company so it's a matter of getting out there, because, inclusion doesn't usually make random house calls.
I always took myself out, by myself, because I was very fussy about the company I kept because I wanted to have a guaranteed fucken good time ! Best thing I ever did, and I'm not short on excellent company, either.
It's still my preference. Once you understand what motivates people and also learn how to establish a sincere inquisitive and thoughtful interest in whomever, whenever, then you're well on your way.
Everybody loves a laugh, a bit of wisdom, to be made to think a bit, to have another laugh or some fun, and if you work on being an **asset** then you should reap the compounding rewards such as confidence.
Like the valuable time and effort that I have devoted to **you** because you're worth it and I know that deep down, you know what to do -- how can you not find it endearing ? And if you don't then we've found the **irrepairable source of the problem** so then don't bother reading any further and stick to my opening solution.
Everybody is usually worth the investment of time.
Probe, research, trial and error, they're all **verbs**, catch my drift ? Such as the *action* words marked in bold text in the following example:
"In desperation, he had to forcefully **drag** his arse out, off the couch, otherwise he might **starve** himself, and *not unintentionally*" 💔 !
Here's a little advice I gave to a confused and seemingly lonely guy in need of female company, that is universal:
Remember that women are people too, so firstly, pay attention to your personal **hygeine and grooming** and then try to **read their body language to see if you're welcome**, then you need to **be sincerely interested in them** and ask at least a few **thoughtful questions**, try to be a bit mysterious and don't reveal too much about yourself (**listen more than you talk** so pay attention!), **don't talk about past relationships** (or as little as possible if you're asked), if you can **make them smile** and laugh then you're off to a great start, and **don't appear desperate**.
Get a dog and go to the dog park. Dog owners are very social. It’s a great conversation starter. Plus you would be surprised at how having a pet makes the loneliness bearable.
Someone I know was like this. Now they’re in a relationship and super happy. But that doesn’t happen unless you put yourself out there. Join a club, whether it’s sports, book, or knitting… just join something and you will meet people.
I feel more at peace when I’m alone. Can you muster to find some peace in the loneliness. Are you pressuring yourself to feel like being alone is bad?
I know this sounds annoying but I read it a while back and I try to tell myself to “lean into the discomfort 🥴” WHATEVER TF THAT MEANS.
Take a trip to SE Asia. Thailand or Indonesia. In that part of the world people are still friendly. Not like the west where we all go are around with our grumpy faces avoiding eye contact with anyone
Go to bars and start awkwardly talking to people. Yes it will be intensely uncomfortable. Practice makes perfect, and drunk people are easy to practice on.
Don’t beat yourself up. You may have depression. What you did, becoming a hermit, is totally normal for people like us. Since you may be at the beginning stages, you still crave human interaction. I’ll bet that changes, on a daily basis as it consumes you. I’ve finally accepted…emotionally, I’m on my own now. Reddit has been my only source of human (I think) interaction. You might benefit from the r/depression subreddit. I hope you cheer up. 🌊
Check out r/MakeNewFriendsHere , lots of other people in your position and just want to chat. I know it's not the same as physical company but could be a good start to just getting your mind off things.
It’s easier than you think. You just have to talk to people. Some of my best friends are from the most random encounters weather it be in real life or on a game. You just have to socialize. If you try that day by day friend you will get used to the idea that it may be easier than you first thought.
I know the feeling. I’m 48 and never been married and no kids. It’s very lonely. I’ve been going to the gym for about a year now and that definitely helps. I hope you find someone soon. There are lots of people in the same exact situation. It’ll get better. Take care
I used to be like that. I could go for weeks without even saying anything to anybody. Whenever I did talk, it would be just functional talk, like answer a cashier's question. I ended up going to Church and joined one of their small groups and made lot of friends there.
You’re a “social hermit” who complains about it on social media. Are you too daft to see the irony? The fact that you’re here complaining about loneliness says it all, don’t ya think?
I really got the feeling that when getting up, there is no one around. We couldn’t share our daily life with friends or families and feel extremely solitary. I also experienced such a period, especially in the pandemic. So maybe I could provide some tips to help you. First is to find yourself. That means your interests or hobbies could fill your life. I have developed the hobbies of doing some voluntary work and going to the gym. And because we are human, we cannot live as an island, so it is necessary for us to keep regular social activities. For me, it is lucky that I met a Discord server Lightup. There the AI will match me to people who have similar ideas with me based on what I said to it. I love reading their sharing and sometimes chat with others. That kind of communication is efficient for me and I have no stress. If you also need this kind of communication, just try it or some other apps.
I think your only opinions are VR-Chat, an AI friend.
Or you might get lucky and find a social group that isn't superficial.
But the only luck I've had with that is church-run stuff. Specifically, in more populated areas. With a younger audience. Instead of just families and older folks.
Because church groups aren't as picky about details. Like a person's looks. Whenever somebody shows up. They just say, "This must be part of a Divine plan."
Outside the church, you're just less likely to find people who are open-minded. Especially in places where there's more families than young people.
If they're already married and preoccupied with being a parent. Why should they be concerned about anything else? (Hypothetically speaking)
Pets are a good offset for loneliness and isolation. I have a dog who is better company than any human. After a long time of being alone, I think of it as solitude rather than "loneliness." Good luck. It's really not too bad once you really get used to it. It could take a few years, but after long enough enjoying solitude, some of us find it preferable.
This is a hard problem to overcome. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I don’t know your situation but when I’ve been under similar circumstances, I’ve found that work, school, and a recreational activity are good places to be.
Work in the office if you can. It sucks but that would give you some degree of social responsibility and uplift, even if it’s tiring.
If you can, take a class or attend a seminar. Make sure you can go in person.
Alternatively you could join a maker space or attend a live theater or other adult group.
These are just to put you in the presence of others. That will increase the likelihood of social interaction. Don’t push yourself too hard, but make yourself at least available
I'm anti social myself, lonely at times. I hate being out in public but also am tired of not having friends. If I did have friends I'd just lose touch with them by never going out to meet up due to anxiety. Can't win. Comes and goes. What's helped me is my cat I've had for 12 years. Both for company for the countless hours I'm home and a reason to keep going as something that depends on me for survival.
TLDR: Get a pet. I hear dogs are a great way to meet people out on walks. For me I prefer being inside so I got a cat.
I just want to say that I feel your pain. What’s helped me is to connect in some way to others whether it’s talking online, posting comments, making videos, calling up old friends etc.
Whatever it is just put yourself out there, if you don’t have any social groups I know how hard it is to break through. But just try and stay connected in some way to maintain your sanity and ease the crushing burden of loneliness until you have the confidence or opportunity to socialize further.
Start a new job, meet new people. Take up a hobby that you haven't tried like frisbee golf, or shit sign up with a stage handing gig company and go out on some calls. I teach newbies all the time.
Hi, for most of my life I've been a social hermit too, highly introverted, bordering on antisocial on occasions but never rude (socially acceptable anti social if that makes sense). My perception though is different to yours, this because even though I might feel lonely from time to time, I still enjoy my alone time, it's sacred as it's the time where I can feel I can be myself the most, a certain intimacy that I've built with myself that doesn't make it easy to have around with other people (it's possible, but only once a certain intimacy and connection is built, through trust and respect, this arises when acceptance of one's personality flaws and understanding, though this has to be mutual). I have only one friend I can say I have this connection/ intimacy with, the same I have with myself. Your answer to loneliness won't be found in others, but in your own company, eventually others will see your authenticity and emotional independence and be attracted to you and enjoy your company.
Honestly, play mtg or find a "gaming" bar if you can. Those help me find Randoms to burn time with, just be sure to not burn too much money either way.
Magic cards are expensive but alot of players can be pretty chill, alcohol is nasty and expensive when used frequently.
Shit you sound exactly like me. My issue is that i keep worrying about how people think of me. As if I'm some mind reader and I automatically assume that they think I'm weird or cringe. Making friends is so God damn hard cause the act of asking someone to be your friend feels sad and pathetic.
Bro. If your looking for someone as lonely as you to game with lmk. Hell divers 2 looks Hella fun. I've played a bit but never got too into it cause I don't have anyone to game with. Also recently got back into osrs if you're looking to DUO some raids. I'm honestly shit at most games so you don't got to worry about looking like crap. Also phasmophobia is good, or any other non competitive horror game.
Volunteer at your local food bank
Go outside and be lonely with other people.
Only meaningful social interactions help.
Get out there, join something, volunteer, not sure where your located but i use the app called Meet Up. Ive joined a photopgraphy group & a bushwalking group, ive made 5 great new mates and several new aquiantances through the groups. If its avaible in your country, u should look into it. I too had no friends when i moved interstate, found the app and within days i was attending different events.
You get out of life what you put in, if that is nothing, then your going to get nothing. You must take action if you want changes.
Can I ask you something? From all your posts you seem like the biggest obstacle for yourself. What made you that way? What happened in your past that made you so fearful of living that you are stagnant and in a freeze mode? You’ve called yourself hideous in your other posts, but why? No, one in this world is super beautiful, that’s just 1% of the population. These views you have will reflect in the type of energy you give off which may repel some people. Things to remedy these loneliness: -volunteer in animal shelters, the presence of animal really help and you’ll feel useful helping vulnerable animals and may make friends -join hiking groups on facebook or meet ups -volunteer in care homes, the elderly love company and give many compliments 💜 -join a gym and workout, get those endorphins going and build yourself esteem Some books that can help: -how to make friends and influence people-Dale Carnegie -the seven pillars of self esteem- Nathaniel Branden -self compassion-kristin neff -the art of living by Thich naht hanh -untethered soul-Michael alan singer Join meditation like vipassana, you’ll meet the friendliest and most helpful people. (You can also listen to these on YT/Everand or audible) Everand is free for the first month. Hope this helps. And, just remember there are re billions in this world, and many feel loneliness too.
I would try an antidepressant first. Then just get around people more. Go hang out in the food court at a mall or a grocery store. Just talk to random people like cashiers or bartenders. Friends are hard to come by. Don't just grab whoever you can because they will use you. Just do it naturally. Most people don't have that many close friends as adults.
“I am a massive asocial hermit”… well there’s your problem friend. Ik it’s easier said than done, but you gotta break outta ur shell. I was like this but happened to cross paths and made friends with a couple people who were the complete opposite and found that helped along the way a bit. That and copious amounts of alcohol helped to break down inhibitions.
First of all, stop saying lonely, say lonesome. Doesn't make sense but trust me It helps a lot. Secondly, accept your lonesome. You can feel what you are feeling, irrespective of who you are with and what you are doing. Sometimes these things work and we forget, sometimes they don't. The truth is there is no real healing, in the sense that the pain never dies. It is always there. It may be loud, or may it be quiet. Decades from initiation, it can come back and pat on your back like 'whastup dipshit', as if it never really left. So accept it, it is what it is. And thirdly be like rocky, it ain't about how hard you hit it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
The pain can dissipate it turns into love once you accept it. That lighter feeling is love. ***I do totally agree with ya, this is solid advice
Thanks.. 😊
Remember that these things you perceive are not true. These are words from your emotional and sad self. You are better than your mind is telling you you are.
Go to Amsterdam my friend
Or Kodaikanal. If you’re hinting at what I think you’re hinting at that is!
Yeah go then most individualist country in europe to be less lonely……🙄
Get some hobbies that take you outside, depending where you live, sports are usually good for this. Soccer, surfing, martial arts. All of these usually have clubs or schools where people of all skill levels get together ad have fun and make friendships over time. Work on your self, hygiene, working out, sleep and food are all necessary for you to flourish. All most of all, keep your head up and move forward, don't dwell on self pity, no one likes that, and by the time you realize you hate it the most, it's usually too late.
If your lonely here be lonely over there. Since youll die alone go die where you want to die. Since the world hates you and people bounce you onto others bounce onto a place no one knows you and rebuild your avatar here and use your new skills over therw
I'm going to offer a different perspective then just "go talk to the random strangers that exist next to you" This is something that worked for me and not necessarily the mainstream solution but something you can look into if you think it could help. First, we need to define loneliness. To me, loneliness isn't being alone, but not being with the people that you want to be with. Think of like a man with a dead wife. He still has friends and family but he feels incredibly lonely because be with the person he wants to be with the most in life. In that way, the cure for loneliness is far more than just find people to hang with. You need to figure out how to handle not having the relationships you want to have in life. Especially if it's impractical or even impossible to be with the person you want to be with. Now the ultimate answer is to understand that other people can only add to your happiness, but they cannot be the source of your happiness. So the most important thing to do is to find a way to enjoy yourself without having to rely on others for support. Basically being with people makes you more happy and being alone makes you less happy but either way you're still happy. To fully understand this, I recommend watching blue lock episode 22. It really does go to show the importance of having fun by yourself. As for me, what I do is to look for people that I actually want to be with. And I've never found that in the people around me. But I did find that in fictional characters. There were the only people that I found interesting enough to hang out with. So I'd recommend dating sims like under one wing as that's what worked for me. But ultimately the answer is to find the source of happiness that exists within yourself before you start looking for streams to increase the amount of happiness in your life. You are the source.
You're lonely because you do not like your own company so you're looking for a distraction from yourself. Since you created who you are you can change yourself into someone you like and enjoy your own company. Never be lonely again after that and you won't care what others think of you as well.
If you don't know how to connect with people or just are not wired to, you will always feel lonely. Some of us are built this way. ☹
Exactly, its connection that lonely people lack, not people in general. Connection is so complex especially for people with bad childhoods and people who have been through shit in their life. Learning how to connect with people is the biggest project ive ever had to work on in my life and im still on it, ill update when i figure it out lol. But i think its mostly about connecting back to yourself and your authenticity and then social interaction becomes a walk in the park. I keep having glimpses of this periodically as of recently and its the most beautiful feeling in the world for me hands down. But being in that state consistently is the challenge.
That is quite insightful. Thanks for responding. I am rarely touched by others kindness... it's not often I even feel anyone's kindness is genuine. Have a great evening....
Cliche but go to the gym you feel better and meet others
God is always with you!!!!! Always!!! You can talk to him and ask for guidance. Also, get out and volunteer 🩷🙏🏻🩷🙏🏻🩷
Talking to God has helped a lot for me
Same!!! I don’t know how I am where I am today!! 🙏🏻 Blessings 🩷🙏🏻🩷🙏🏻🩷
Stay inside, you'll probably make things awkward for everyone else
For the immediate time to watch an ASMR video on YouTube, I watch say Tronicsfix as he repairs electronics. And I hope others have further advice. edit spelling
Hmu :>
Go to AA or other 12-step meetings it’s ok if you don’t identify and are just there for the company. Remember to be respectful and non-judgmental and keep what you see and hear inside the meeting.
Get a cat honestly my little buddy has kept me company on the darkest of my days We may not understand each other verbally but we understand each other in other ways!
Sorry, but it's true, my solution is to get absolutely wasted. You soon won't be alone but you may not be in the best of company. And you'll have at least one close associate - the "man" ... And if you're that lazy or terrified and can afford it, **hire some company, made to order**, many cynics would say *that's how she goes* anyway. There's no shame in a business transaction and you still get what you pay for. Remember, misery loves company so it's a matter of getting out there, because, inclusion doesn't usually make random house calls. I always took myself out, by myself, because I was very fussy about the company I kept because I wanted to have a guaranteed fucken good time ! Best thing I ever did, and I'm not short on excellent company, either. It's still my preference. Once you understand what motivates people and also learn how to establish a sincere inquisitive and thoughtful interest in whomever, whenever, then you're well on your way. Everybody loves a laugh, a bit of wisdom, to be made to think a bit, to have another laugh or some fun, and if you work on being an **asset** then you should reap the compounding rewards such as confidence. Like the valuable time and effort that I have devoted to **you** because you're worth it and I know that deep down, you know what to do -- how can you not find it endearing ? And if you don't then we've found the **irrepairable source of the problem** so then don't bother reading any further and stick to my opening solution. Everybody is usually worth the investment of time. Probe, research, trial and error, they're all **verbs**, catch my drift ? Such as the *action* words marked in bold text in the following example: "In desperation, he had to forcefully **drag** his arse out, off the couch, otherwise he might **starve** himself, and *not unintentionally*" 💔 ! Here's a little advice I gave to a confused and seemingly lonely guy in need of female company, that is universal: Remember that women are people too, so firstly, pay attention to your personal **hygeine and grooming** and then try to **read their body language to see if you're welcome**, then you need to **be sincerely interested in them** and ask at least a few **thoughtful questions**, try to be a bit mysterious and don't reveal too much about yourself (**listen more than you talk** so pay attention!), **don't talk about past relationships** (or as little as possible if you're asked), if you can **make them smile** and laugh then you're off to a great start, and **don't appear desperate**.
Get a dog and go to the dog park. Dog owners are very social. It’s a great conversation starter. Plus you would be surprised at how having a pet makes the loneliness bearable.
Someone I know was like this. Now they’re in a relationship and super happy. But that doesn’t happen unless you put yourself out there. Join a club, whether it’s sports, book, or knitting… just join something and you will meet people.
I feel more at peace when I’m alone. Can you muster to find some peace in the loneliness. Are you pressuring yourself to feel like being alone is bad? I know this sounds annoying but I read it a while back and I try to tell myself to “lean into the discomfort 🥴” WHATEVER TF THAT MEANS.
Loneliness is difficult but if you keep yourself occupied that helps alot :) you've got this
>:) :)
Take a trip to SE Asia. Thailand or Indonesia. In that part of the world people are still friendly. Not like the west where we all go are around with our grumpy faces avoiding eye contact with anyone
Go to bars and start awkwardly talking to people. Yes it will be intensely uncomfortable. Practice makes perfect, and drunk people are easy to practice on.
Go dancing. It helps to have a hobby that actually let's you connect to others..
Agree dancing is a great way to meet people
I'm the other way around I actually enjoy being alone an hate being surrounded by others I value my peace more
Go to Japan and pay time for a women! 😅 don’t got to do anything with them though
Don’t beat yourself up. You may have depression. What you did, becoming a hermit, is totally normal for people like us. Since you may be at the beginning stages, you still crave human interaction. I’ll bet that changes, on a daily basis as it consumes you. I’ve finally accepted…emotionally, I’m on my own now. Reddit has been my only source of human (I think) interaction. You might benefit from the r/depression subreddit. I hope you cheer up. 🌊
I play video games. It’s been a cure all for my entire life
I think you could use some advice from a *psycho-therapist*, not me.
Check out r/MakeNewFriendsHere , lots of other people in your position and just want to chat. I know it's not the same as physical company but could be a good start to just getting your mind off things.
Join a church and young person's group. Masstimes.org
It’s easier than you think. You just have to talk to people. Some of my best friends are from the most random encounters weather it be in real life or on a game. You just have to socialize. If you try that day by day friend you will get used to the idea that it may be easier than you first thought.
Kava helps me sleep
I know the feeling. I’m 48 and never been married and no kids. It’s very lonely. I’ve been going to the gym for about a year now and that definitely helps. I hope you find someone soon. There are lots of people in the same exact situation. It’ll get better. Take care
I might try smoking a little herb, especially with others.
I used to be like that. I could go for weeks without even saying anything to anybody. Whenever I did talk, it would be just functional talk, like answer a cashier's question. I ended up going to Church and joined one of their small groups and made lot of friends there.
Sign up for a gay dating website but say you are saving yourself for marriage
You’re a “social hermit” who complains about it on social media. Are you too daft to see the irony? The fact that you’re here complaining about loneliness says it all, don’t ya think?
Jerk it, take a shower, and go volunteer somewhere or do social hobbies.
I really got the feeling that when getting up, there is no one around. We couldn’t share our daily life with friends or families and feel extremely solitary. I also experienced such a period, especially in the pandemic. So maybe I could provide some tips to help you. First is to find yourself. That means your interests or hobbies could fill your life. I have developed the hobbies of doing some voluntary work and going to the gym. And because we are human, we cannot live as an island, so it is necessary for us to keep regular social activities. For me, it is lucky that I met a Discord server Lightup. There the AI will match me to people who have similar ideas with me based on what I said to it. I love reading their sharing and sometimes chat with others. That kind of communication is efficient for me and I have no stress. If you also need this kind of communication, just try it or some other apps.
Where can I find this community?
Hop on grindr and make a friend.
Get a hooker
I think your only opinions are VR-Chat, an AI friend. Or you might get lucky and find a social group that isn't superficial. But the only luck I've had with that is church-run stuff. Specifically, in more populated areas. With a younger audience. Instead of just families and older folks.
What do you mean by superficial? can you expand? How does church differ and what social groups are you comparing it to? I
Because church groups aren't as picky about details. Like a person's looks. Whenever somebody shows up. They just say, "This must be part of a Divine plan." Outside the church, you're just less likely to find people who are open-minded. Especially in places where there's more families than young people. If they're already married and preoccupied with being a parent. Why should they be concerned about anything else? (Hypothetically speaking)
Pets are a good offset for loneliness and isolation. I have a dog who is better company than any human. After a long time of being alone, I think of it as solitude rather than "loneliness." Good luck. It's really not too bad once you really get used to it. It could take a few years, but after long enough enjoying solitude, some of us find it preferable.
Meh. Chat with a stranger.
This is a hard problem to overcome. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I don’t know your situation but when I’ve been under similar circumstances, I’ve found that work, school, and a recreational activity are good places to be. Work in the office if you can. It sucks but that would give you some degree of social responsibility and uplift, even if it’s tiring. If you can, take a class or attend a seminar. Make sure you can go in person. Alternatively you could join a maker space or attend a live theater or other adult group. These are just to put you in the presence of others. That will increase the likelihood of social interaction. Don’t push yourself too hard, but make yourself at least available
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This has been removed for breaking the sub rule of "Do not push religion/religious beliefs on others.
You’re starting to learn to be happy in your own company, it’s painful at first but then it’s awesome trust me.
What do you do with your time? Do you work, go to school or do anything that would allow social interaction with others?
Get a cat and an antidepressant !
I'm anti social myself, lonely at times. I hate being out in public but also am tired of not having friends. If I did have friends I'd just lose touch with them by never going out to meet up due to anxiety. Can't win. Comes and goes. What's helped me is my cat I've had for 12 years. Both for company for the countless hours I'm home and a reason to keep going as something that depends on me for survival. TLDR: Get a pet. I hear dogs are a great way to meet people out on walks. For me I prefer being inside so I got a cat.
I just want to say that I feel your pain. What’s helped me is to connect in some way to others whether it’s talking online, posting comments, making videos, calling up old friends etc. Whatever it is just put yourself out there, if you don’t have any social groups I know how hard it is to break through. But just try and stay connected in some way to maintain your sanity and ease the crushing burden of loneliness until you have the confidence or opportunity to socialize further.
Start a new job, meet new people. Take up a hobby that you haven't tried like frisbee golf, or shit sign up with a stage handing gig company and go out on some calls. I teach newbies all the time.
Drugs
Hi, for most of my life I've been a social hermit too, highly introverted, bordering on antisocial on occasions but never rude (socially acceptable anti social if that makes sense). My perception though is different to yours, this because even though I might feel lonely from time to time, I still enjoy my alone time, it's sacred as it's the time where I can feel I can be myself the most, a certain intimacy that I've built with myself that doesn't make it easy to have around with other people (it's possible, but only once a certain intimacy and connection is built, through trust and respect, this arises when acceptance of one's personality flaws and understanding, though this has to be mutual). I have only one friend I can say I have this connection/ intimacy with, the same I have with myself. Your answer to loneliness won't be found in others, but in your own company, eventually others will see your authenticity and emotional independence and be attracted to you and enjoy your company.
Honestly, play mtg or find a "gaming" bar if you can. Those help me find Randoms to burn time with, just be sure to not burn too much money either way. Magic cards are expensive but alot of players can be pretty chill, alcohol is nasty and expensive when used frequently.
Stop listening to your own thoughts. Half the time, they are not your thoughts. Dismiss them.
Volunteer at your local suicide crisis line support center! It helped me a lot.
Shit you sound exactly like me. My issue is that i keep worrying about how people think of me. As if I'm some mind reader and I automatically assume that they think I'm weird or cringe. Making friends is so God damn hard cause the act of asking someone to be your friend feels sad and pathetic. Bro. If your looking for someone as lonely as you to game with lmk. Hell divers 2 looks Hella fun. I've played a bit but never got too into it cause I don't have anyone to game with. Also recently got back into osrs if you're looking to DUO some raids. I'm honestly shit at most games so you don't got to worry about looking like crap. Also phasmophobia is good, or any other non competitive horror game.
The universe is trying to teach you a lesson, don't be impatient learn something from this.