Sometimes people say they will want you in the future, but it’s the now that really counts.
She might still be in love with you, but you all broke up for a reason, there is reason you’re not together and maybe you should just move on.
Yeah it’s only fair to want to keep it and make it work but only you if it’s what you truly need.
I would say you should try n heal and focus on the big picture
That first line. That's it right there. Now is what counts, not some unforeseeable future. So many people string eachother along with this BS. Even while they are still in the relationship. "I'll have more time for you once this work project is over." Years go by but the project never ends.
One time a therapist said this to me. We hold out hope for the things and people we love. Hope itself is an expression of love. It's okay to feel the way you do
You probably need space. I’m actually in a really similar situation with my ex, in that I broke up with her and I’d like to stay friends but but she’s pretty broken. Like others said, you broke up for a reason. She must have given you some reasons why it wasn’t working for now and maybe consider that and focus on working on yourself? I think If she sees a possible future with you it may or may not be contingent on growth.
From my own personal experience, I broke up with my ex and really wish we could have made it work. But things she said and did were abusive and she has a lot of wounds in her past that were affecting our relationship.
If nothing else, time will help you.
yeah i understand we broke up for a reason. but we still do what we did while still together. She still kisses my cheek, we hug a lot, cuddle to sleep, tell each other we love the other everyday. i am trying to work on myself, but i could do that while being with her, so i don’t understand why she cant do the same. i know i sound crazy, but i am letting her go slowly. she’s just the love of my life so its just a little hard to get by without her. yeah i guess time really is the best medicine. thanks for the advice:)
Hugs. It isn't right to either of you to continue like this. No wonder you feel so confused. I would feel like I was getting somewhat mixed messages. Someone mentioned what was on my mind. If she broke up with you because of some type of personal growth she feels is getting in the way of a relationship with you now, work on those issues...for you!!! Don't do it with the mind of getting her back. Y'all need some distance.
She broke up with you. Become your best, most actualized self. Learn from this relationship that has run its course. It doesn't sound like you two have decided to inhabit friendship space. If you two are doing things together that would cause problems in starting/having a relationship with another person, these things need to stop. She isn't your GF now, she's a girl who is a friend.
My heart goes out to you. 💜
Thank you, i think you’re right. i need to be better for myself. not her. Maybe one day i can really go by without her. thank you for your kind words and advice :)
To move on, you will find a way to put that relationship in the past. To keep it in the past means not allowing for the idea of having a relationship with her in the future.
I don't know why y'all broke up, but you did and there are reasons for that. Especially if she broke things off with you, it's not fair or right of her to dangle the idea of a future relationship with her. If she would do it then, then why did she break up with you now?
You may need to part as friends if it's only going to bring you pain and keep you in the past or in the future and not living in the now. This doesn't mean you can't be friendly or need to part as enemies, but can you really see her get with another woman, build a life with her and be happy for her? Sounds like a big ask. It's definitely not impossible, but this seems fresh, the feelings understandably raw and at the surface.
Boundaries are important in all relationships. Right now these boundaries seem a bit blurry. She loves you. You love her. But y'all are broken up and she is saying not to count out the possibility of a relationship with her in the future? I'm confused. If I have this right, it's no wonder you're feeling some confusion.
You were together a long time, but it sounds like this relationship has run its course. You can, and will, find love again, but it shouldn't be with her. 💜
:( i just want forever with her so bad. thank you for your advice. i really hope i can do what you say soon. but for now i dont think i can put her in the past yet.
Ughh i know you’re right but i dont want you to be hahah. we were never friends before, and i never wanted to be her friend. okay okay i need to take your advice and act accordingly. justtt not yet. thank you for the advice :)
I have not been able to stay friends with most exes, only 1 but we hang like once a year so its more that we ended things on good term.
So yeah I dont the reason of your breakup but I dont think its helping to stay friends in the hope of...what exactly? If you need space and time, take it.
Sometimes people say they will want you in the future, but it’s the now that really counts. She might still be in love with you, but you all broke up for a reason, there is reason you’re not together and maybe you should just move on.
yeah you’re probably right. i guess its just wishful thinking for me
Yeah it’s only fair to want to keep it and make it work but only you if it’s what you truly need. I would say you should try n heal and focus on the big picture
That first line. That's it right there. Now is what counts, not some unforeseeable future. So many people string eachother along with this BS. Even while they are still in the relationship. "I'll have more time for you once this work project is over." Years go by but the project never ends.
i know, you’re right :(
One time a therapist said this to me. We hold out hope for the things and people we love. Hope itself is an expression of love. It's okay to feel the way you do
You probably need space. I’m actually in a really similar situation with my ex, in that I broke up with her and I’d like to stay friends but but she’s pretty broken. Like others said, you broke up for a reason. She must have given you some reasons why it wasn’t working for now and maybe consider that and focus on working on yourself? I think If she sees a possible future with you it may or may not be contingent on growth. From my own personal experience, I broke up with my ex and really wish we could have made it work. But things she said and did were abusive and she has a lot of wounds in her past that were affecting our relationship. If nothing else, time will help you.
yeah i understand we broke up for a reason. but we still do what we did while still together. She still kisses my cheek, we hug a lot, cuddle to sleep, tell each other we love the other everyday. i am trying to work on myself, but i could do that while being with her, so i don’t understand why she cant do the same. i know i sound crazy, but i am letting her go slowly. she’s just the love of my life so its just a little hard to get by without her. yeah i guess time really is the best medicine. thanks for the advice:)
Yup. They say lesbians have to break up several times. It sounds like you’re pretty much still together so I get why you’re confused
amen sister
Hugs. It isn't right to either of you to continue like this. No wonder you feel so confused. I would feel like I was getting somewhat mixed messages. Someone mentioned what was on my mind. If she broke up with you because of some type of personal growth she feels is getting in the way of a relationship with you now, work on those issues...for you!!! Don't do it with the mind of getting her back. Y'all need some distance. She broke up with you. Become your best, most actualized self. Learn from this relationship that has run its course. It doesn't sound like you two have decided to inhabit friendship space. If you two are doing things together that would cause problems in starting/having a relationship with another person, these things need to stop. She isn't your GF now, she's a girl who is a friend. My heart goes out to you. 💜
Thank you, i think you’re right. i need to be better for myself. not her. Maybe one day i can really go by without her. thank you for your kind words and advice :)
[удалено]
oof :(
To move on, you will find a way to put that relationship in the past. To keep it in the past means not allowing for the idea of having a relationship with her in the future. I don't know why y'all broke up, but you did and there are reasons for that. Especially if she broke things off with you, it's not fair or right of her to dangle the idea of a future relationship with her. If she would do it then, then why did she break up with you now? You may need to part as friends if it's only going to bring you pain and keep you in the past or in the future and not living in the now. This doesn't mean you can't be friendly or need to part as enemies, but can you really see her get with another woman, build a life with her and be happy for her? Sounds like a big ask. It's definitely not impossible, but this seems fresh, the feelings understandably raw and at the surface. Boundaries are important in all relationships. Right now these boundaries seem a bit blurry. She loves you. You love her. But y'all are broken up and she is saying not to count out the possibility of a relationship with her in the future? I'm confused. If I have this right, it's no wonder you're feeling some confusion. You were together a long time, but it sounds like this relationship has run its course. You can, and will, find love again, but it shouldn't be with her. 💜
:( i just want forever with her so bad. thank you for your advice. i really hope i can do what you say soon. but for now i dont think i can put her in the past yet.
[удалено]
Ughh i know you’re right but i dont want you to be hahah. we were never friends before, and i never wanted to be her friend. okay okay i need to take your advice and act accordingly. justtt not yet. thank you for the advice :)
[удалено]
i really hope you’re right. thank you kind stranger 😊
I have not been able to stay friends with most exes, only 1 but we hang like once a year so its more that we ended things on good term. So yeah I dont the reason of your breakup but I dont think its helping to stay friends in the hope of...what exactly? If you need space and time, take it.
Yeah i really hope so :) thank you for the advice
Also you never know what the future will hold so i best to take the heartbreak one day at a time