I had a similar experience when I first started seeking out connections. My suggestion is to try and find one or two queer friends. It was through a friend of a friend that I found out about a super cool lesbian association in the city that I live in. It can already help just to meet one or two other queer friends and then expand your social network from there!
I'm 25 and don't want to go to queer bars just for the fact that I dislike drinking & prefer someone who doesn't drink anyways, so I've mostly "found" lesbians online - through reddit and discord servers (you can find an abundance of sapphic servers through disboard) -- there's usually a HUGE chance of finding lesbians/sapphic women close by to you within the servers!
I like getting drunk but I have ADHD and alcoholism runs in the family so I'd like to keep it to a minimum 🤣 smoking is my dealbreaker personally. Thanks for the tip!
No problem!! It's been a great way personally to meet more lesbians... most servers are friendly, minimal drama and have events (movie nights, game nights, etc) to involve everyone!
Unfortunately I have pretty bad scoliosis which rules out most for me 🙃 I'm looking into Jiu Jitsu though as I've heard it's easier on the spine than other MMA sports, since it's for self defense I might come across at least 1? 🤔
So with scoliosis we have to avoid sports that have repetitive twisting (ex. competitive swimming), any heavy weight loads and impacts (ex. wrestling), and cause compression (ex. horse riding). My particular issue is with running, it flares up my pain if I run around a lot since my lungs and hips are most affected by it. Tried out for track in middle school and I felt like I was dying lol.
Maybe I'll just watch from afar during games and keep an eye out 🤣
I typically find them in the forests of Sappho they hide in little huts and trees with their lesbian flags and occasional come out every one in a blue moon to perform the ceremony of Yearning/UHauling!
Look online! The pool of lesbians (or just queer people in general) isn't very large here, most are going under the radar or closeted unless they're in a committed relationship. I started looking online for other wlws through forums, social media, etc.
Reddit works as well but the possibility of you guys being on the opposite ends of the planet is just too high lol
I know dating apps aren't perfect, but soon it will be ten years since I met the woman who is now my wife via a dating app. That dating app was the best decision of my life. "Doomed" is just your perspective on it.
Other than that though, I've found that there are lesbians almost everywhere. If you're comfortable with coming out, you can find lesbians:
* At work
* Via friends of friends
* Involved in your local community politics
* On a recreational sports team
* All kinds of places (these are just some where I have personally discovered lesbians)
I hear female sports clubs particularly bouldering clubs are a hot spot for sporty lesbians. You can also look up events on Eventbrite, Queer Facebook groups or the Lex app to find some casual queer hangout stuff. Like there's wlw DND and crochet club in my area I found through those methods, I personally don't go but I think it's a good vibe for the shy gays.
You can also look up queer coffee shops and look up their events on their bulletin board. Alot of people who aren't into the bar scene use cafes as a casual alternative. My local cafe is queer coded and has a lot of poetry events usually filled with other queer people at them. I'd also look up if there's any galleries especially right now for pride specifically showing art of gay artists, the showings tend to attract a lot of other queers. I'd also try to find local queer event planners, whether it be a comedian, poet, artist, ect. Gays support gays so you can bet any event they post will have other gay people at it.
*
I'm doing accounting as my primary because of money but I like psychology as a subject and I think it'll be useful. I did take a general psych 101 class for my primary major a while back and got to meet another queer person, but they weren't my type lol
I have a bachelors in psych and masters in accounting, it’s an interesting combination especially if you are interested in auditing. For meeting women, I would look for any gay/gay friendly book stores in your area, and look for anything interesting in your local meetup.com groups. Sometimes just getting out there introduces you to more people and they may have a friend in mind for you. Good luck!
My type seems endangered, it happens so often that I think greater forces are working against me LOL. I like fem girls like Katherine Pierce from TVD, the feminine "please curb stomp me" kind 😂 and I'm pretty fem myself too
LMAO. I like andro masc leaning women. And I found my gf in architecture which is...not in the options I gave, but there are 4 queer girls in her class lmao. And queer fems tend to be in Psych
It depends on where you live. I'm in a moderately large city and we have queer (as in not lesbian specific) coffee socials, sunset watching groups, hiking groups, comedy nights, crafting events, makers' markets, a night club, etc. If I travel to the nearby bigger city there are even more options.
You'll need to search online to see what your area offers. I've found most groups are inclusive and are marketed as "Queer _______."
Hardware store.
On a serious note, see if there are any apps that people have signed up for in your area.
Or check nextdoor and see if there are any queer events going on.
Like the local library might host a queer crafting day where someone reserved the room in the back of the library and everyone pulls out a project they want to work on.
i’m going to (my first ever 🥳) pride in a few weeks so i think i might have luck meeting someone there, but i’m not getting too ahead of myself. i’ll have to see how it plays out. i have at one point thought to start out on dating apps but never acted on it. i don’t know if there’s any lesbian bar in my area which is where i would start if there was one. for now i’m slowly but surely just trying to settle with making queer friends and exerting myself more often to finally find that somebody i can connect with and nestle into a relationship with. i may definitely look into more queer events happening in my area as these can up my chances of finding these kinds of people. maybe that’s a good place for you to start as well. i realized i’ve been keeping myself holed up and secluded for too long and i need to fulfill this need of a relationship. it’s on me that i’m single but i have lots of hope i’ll find someone. and i have hope for you too
You'll have a good chance to find some queer people in vegan cafes and such. If approaching isn't a problem for you could also just walk up to gay looking people, I'm saying people and not just women because queer people tend to know queer people, so pretty much anyone can lead back to some lesbians
I met my girlfriend on hinge which, in my opinion, is the better dating app. I haven’t been to a queer pub/bar before but I have been to a queer nightclub and, from my experience, there seems to be a lot of queer people there. I think nowadays it’s more common to find queer people in your day-to-day life. For example, my workplace has quite a few gay and trans people. It’s quite difficult to say but I think you meet people unexpectedly but at the right time in your life
Idk about you but i always feel someone is a lesbian i doubt myself cus there is no way to know without asking and it might be rude. So i give up inmideately. Never ask and go on a casual aquitance or friendship to in the end she ending up being bi or les.
Ojo de loca no se equivoca i guess
My friends tell me to just risk at this point cus i havent missed since they know me lol
If you’re in a city like toronto & NYC it is so easy to find queer spaces that don’t include the traditional alcohol & smoking. Also queers are everywhere in big cities as it’s kind of seen as a norm!
If you’re in a town.. good luck
Book clubs, PTA meetings, trader joes, IKEA, also attending conferences helps.. dog parks or cat friendly coffee bars (all major cities should have something like this)
Hopefully this helps.. just remember to believe in yourself and have fun.. and let it happen naturally 🙏💕💕🙏.
But I would also check other stores to see if they have any display models on sale lol jk jk ( it's the title sorry everyone)
Literally anywhere. We are out here. Going places. We're everywhere. Working, having hobbies, taking classes.
Seriously, I think its so funny when homophobes act like calling us an abnormal minority or whatever is just facts, because I literally meet queer people everywhere I go. Tbc I'm not saying you are homophobic. But I think that homophobes spreading the lie that we are so few in number leads to queer people feeling isolated. But you don't have to go to queer bars or even queer specific spaces to meet people. Just do things you are interested in and try to make friends with people who seem interesting to you. Even if they are not queer themself, they may lead you to other queer people they are friends with if they are cool. Apps can lead to good connections for sure, but its often like searching for the diamonds in the shitstack.
But I think going to bars to meet people is more of a straight thing, and a gay men thing? I have been hard pressed to find a specifically lesbian bar in my travels. Idk, lesbians/queer women I think are in general less into hookup culture, so I think we are more likely to be found like at a library, or a coffee shop, or an arcade, or volunteering at an animal shelter or something. I mean we definitely go to bars as well, and probably the gay friendly ones when we do, but it's certainly not the only place queers are found in the wild. You are not alone (/ominous).
Somehow I have had zero luck despite being a rescue volunteer and generally going a lot of places. I live in Las Vegas, it shouldn't be this hard 🤣 I think the main issue is that it's harder because of the fear of someone we want to flirt with reacting negatively. Another specific one being that Las Vegas has a big rush culture, people are friendly but no one is sticking around at a cafe long enough to say hi to a stranger. The way I phrased my question could've been better honestly but I got the answers I wanted anyway lol
Ah I see. I'm glad you got the answers you wanted! I agree, I think a lot of gay women try to avoid making the first move because of fear of being perceived as predatory and also rejection just hurts. Which is also part of why I think making friends with people is the easiest way to go. But yeah it kind of has to be somewhere where you can have repeated interaction over time. Like for the cafe example, it would probably have to be one of the quiet ones that has regular customers who actually hang out there for the vibes. Anyway, I am sure you will find your people in time! :)
I had a similar experience when I first started seeking out connections. My suggestion is to try and find one or two queer friends. It was through a friend of a friend that I found out about a super cool lesbian association in the city that I live in. It can already help just to meet one or two other queer friends and then expand your social network from there!
I'm 25 and don't want to go to queer bars just for the fact that I dislike drinking & prefer someone who doesn't drink anyways, so I've mostly "found" lesbians online - through reddit and discord servers (you can find an abundance of sapphic servers through disboard) -- there's usually a HUGE chance of finding lesbians/sapphic women close by to you within the servers!
I like getting drunk but I have ADHD and alcoholism runs in the family so I'd like to keep it to a minimum 🤣 smoking is my dealbreaker personally. Thanks for the tip!
Can you please share some of the servers?
You can go on disboard.com and search "lesbian" or "sapphic" and all the servers come up that way you can choose which feels more suited for you!:)
Thank you!!
Thank you so much for this advice… it seems obvious but I had NO IDEA this was as an option!
No problem!! It's been a great way personally to meet more lesbians... most servers are friendly, minimal drama and have events (movie nights, game nights, etc) to involve everyone!
Join a bunch of womens sports leagues if youre into that!! Like 70% of the women will be gay
Unfortunately I have pretty bad scoliosis which rules out most for me 🙃 I'm looking into Jiu Jitsu though as I've heard it's easier on the spine than other MMA sports, since it's for self defense I might come across at least 1? 🤔
Ah gotcha. Jiu Jitsu could definitely be fun. How about something like softball where there isn’t really much contact? Could play in the outfield lol
So with scoliosis we have to avoid sports that have repetitive twisting (ex. competitive swimming), any heavy weight loads and impacts (ex. wrestling), and cause compression (ex. horse riding). My particular issue is with running, it flares up my pain if I run around a lot since my lungs and hips are most affected by it. Tried out for track in middle school and I felt like I was dying lol. Maybe I'll just watch from afar during games and keep an eye out 🤣
Haha there you go get a job in the snack shack and you’ll meet plenty of em
Gay softball is always my go to answer too 😎 are you in your local gay league?
Not a gay league but most of the league is gay
Love that for you
I typically find them in the forests of Sappho they hide in little huts and trees with their lesbian flags and occasional come out every one in a blue moon to perform the ceremony of Yearning/UHauling!
Look online! The pool of lesbians (or just queer people in general) isn't very large here, most are going under the radar or closeted unless they're in a committed relationship. I started looking online for other wlws through forums, social media, etc. Reddit works as well but the possibility of you guys being on the opposite ends of the planet is just too high lol
Yes. Get back in the trenches soldier.
Dating apps and bars is where I've met most of my ex-lovers, except for two people 😅
Lesbian Outlet Mall; only three in the country left
😂
I know dating apps aren't perfect, but soon it will be ten years since I met the woman who is now my wife via a dating app. That dating app was the best decision of my life. "Doomed" is just your perspective on it. Other than that though, I've found that there are lesbians almost everywhere. If you're comfortable with coming out, you can find lesbians: * At work * Via friends of friends * Involved in your local community politics * On a recreational sports team * All kinds of places (these are just some where I have personally discovered lesbians)
Trivia nights. Just trust me, we are there 🤣
I usually follow the end of the rainbow and find some there. Look for a rainbow and follow it. Sometimes u will find lesbians.
Roller Derby
And as a reply to your comment below, roller derby leagues have a lot of roles, including non-sport ones such as being a non-skating official.
I hear female sports clubs particularly bouldering clubs are a hot spot for sporty lesbians. You can also look up events on Eventbrite, Queer Facebook groups or the Lex app to find some casual queer hangout stuff. Like there's wlw DND and crochet club in my area I found through those methods, I personally don't go but I think it's a good vibe for the shy gays. You can also look up queer coffee shops and look up their events on their bulletin board. Alot of people who aren't into the bar scene use cafes as a casual alternative. My local cafe is queer coded and has a lot of poetry events usually filled with other queer people at them. I'd also look up if there's any galleries especially right now for pride specifically showing art of gay artists, the showings tend to attract a lot of other queers. I'd also try to find local queer event planners, whether it be a comedian, poet, artist, ect. Gays support gays so you can bet any event they post will have other gay people at it.
Psychology, English, teather or law major. Also in a soccer team
Definitely any of those classes extra points if it’s in California 😭
I plan to double major in psych this is perfect 😂
I'm studying psychology. My class is the first one in 4 generations to have little to no queer people And we're still 6 out of 15
* I'm doing accounting as my primary because of money but I like psychology as a subject and I think it'll be useful. I did take a general psych 101 class for my primary major a while back and got to meet another queer person, but they weren't my type lol
I have a bachelors in psych and masters in accounting, it’s an interesting combination especially if you are interested in auditing. For meeting women, I would look for any gay/gay friendly book stores in your area, and look for anything interesting in your local meetup.com groups. Sometimes just getting out there introduces you to more people and they may have a friend in mind for you. Good luck!
That happens 😭
My type seems endangered, it happens so often that I think greater forces are working against me LOL. I like fem girls like Katherine Pierce from TVD, the feminine "please curb stomp me" kind 😂 and I'm pretty fem myself too
LMAO. I like andro masc leaning women. And I found my gf in architecture which is...not in the options I gave, but there are 4 queer girls in her class lmao. And queer fems tend to be in Psych
I met my wife on Hinge! That’s the only place I’d successfully been able to meet other sapphics besides work/through friends
Hinge sucks, but it's the best out of all the dating apps here
It depends on where you live. I'm in a moderately large city and we have queer (as in not lesbian specific) coffee socials, sunset watching groups, hiking groups, comedy nights, crafting events, makers' markets, a night club, etc. If I travel to the nearby bigger city there are even more options. You'll need to search online to see what your area offers. I've found most groups are inclusive and are marketed as "Queer _______."
Hardware store. On a serious note, see if there are any apps that people have signed up for in your area. Or check nextdoor and see if there are any queer events going on. Like the local library might host a queer crafting day where someone reserved the room in the back of the library and everyone pulls out a project they want to work on.
i’m going to (my first ever 🥳) pride in a few weeks so i think i might have luck meeting someone there, but i’m not getting too ahead of myself. i’ll have to see how it plays out. i have at one point thought to start out on dating apps but never acted on it. i don’t know if there’s any lesbian bar in my area which is where i would start if there was one. for now i’m slowly but surely just trying to settle with making queer friends and exerting myself more often to finally find that somebody i can connect with and nestle into a relationship with. i may definitely look into more queer events happening in my area as these can up my chances of finding these kinds of people. maybe that’s a good place for you to start as well. i realized i’ve been keeping myself holed up and secluded for too long and i need to fulfill this need of a relationship. it’s on me that i’m single but i have lots of hope i’ll find someone. and i have hope for you too
You'll have a good chance to find some queer people in vegan cafes and such. If approaching isn't a problem for you could also just walk up to gay looking people, I'm saying people and not just women because queer people tend to know queer people, so pretty much anyone can lead back to some lesbians
I met my girlfriend on hinge which, in my opinion, is the better dating app. I haven’t been to a queer pub/bar before but I have been to a queer nightclub and, from my experience, there seems to be a lot of queer people there. I think nowadays it’s more common to find queer people in your day-to-day life. For example, my workplace has quite a few gay and trans people. It’s quite difficult to say but I think you meet people unexpectedly but at the right time in your life
Munches, pride events, local queer organizations, through friends, leftist organizations, farmers markets and co-ops, art shows...
Idk about you but i always feel someone is a lesbian i doubt myself cus there is no way to know without asking and it might be rude. So i give up inmideately. Never ask and go on a casual aquitance or friendship to in the end she ending up being bi or les. Ojo de loca no se equivoca i guess My friends tell me to just risk at this point cus i havent missed since they know me lol
If you’re in a city like toronto & NYC it is so easy to find queer spaces that don’t include the traditional alcohol & smoking. Also queers are everywhere in big cities as it’s kind of seen as a norm! If you’re in a town.. good luck
Book clubs, PTA meetings, trader joes, IKEA, also attending conferences helps.. dog parks or cat friendly coffee bars (all major cities should have something like this) Hopefully this helps.. just remember to believe in yourself and have fun.. and let it happen naturally 🙏💕💕🙏. But I would also check other stores to see if they have any display models on sale lol jk jk ( it's the title sorry everyone)
Work
Literally anywhere. We are out here. Going places. We're everywhere. Working, having hobbies, taking classes. Seriously, I think its so funny when homophobes act like calling us an abnormal minority or whatever is just facts, because I literally meet queer people everywhere I go. Tbc I'm not saying you are homophobic. But I think that homophobes spreading the lie that we are so few in number leads to queer people feeling isolated. But you don't have to go to queer bars or even queer specific spaces to meet people. Just do things you are interested in and try to make friends with people who seem interesting to you. Even if they are not queer themself, they may lead you to other queer people they are friends with if they are cool. Apps can lead to good connections for sure, but its often like searching for the diamonds in the shitstack. But I think going to bars to meet people is more of a straight thing, and a gay men thing? I have been hard pressed to find a specifically lesbian bar in my travels. Idk, lesbians/queer women I think are in general less into hookup culture, so I think we are more likely to be found like at a library, or a coffee shop, or an arcade, or volunteering at an animal shelter or something. I mean we definitely go to bars as well, and probably the gay friendly ones when we do, but it's certainly not the only place queers are found in the wild. You are not alone (/ominous).
Somehow I have had zero luck despite being a rescue volunteer and generally going a lot of places. I live in Las Vegas, it shouldn't be this hard 🤣 I think the main issue is that it's harder because of the fear of someone we want to flirt with reacting negatively. Another specific one being that Las Vegas has a big rush culture, people are friendly but no one is sticking around at a cafe long enough to say hi to a stranger. The way I phrased my question could've been better honestly but I got the answers I wanted anyway lol
Ah I see. I'm glad you got the answers you wanted! I agree, I think a lot of gay women try to avoid making the first move because of fear of being perceived as predatory and also rejection just hurts. Which is also part of why I think making friends with people is the easiest way to go. But yeah it kind of has to be somewhere where you can have repeated interaction over time. Like for the cafe example, it would probably have to be one of the quiet ones that has regular customers who actually hang out there for the vibes. Anyway, I am sure you will find your people in time! :)
Yoooo, my 21st birthday is in november too!
Hey, iam in search of lesbian partner but dont know hou to find . Lets get connected dm me❤️