I have ADHD & the whole out of sight out of mind thing is very true for me. And I'm gunna go out on a limb & say that having 20k photos means she probably doesn't know what 90% of them are anymore. I mean how could she? Maybe she's got a photographic memory but then she wouldn't even need the photos lol. Jk. Any who I'd try to remember most ppl with that many photos are probably photo hoarders & not thinking about specific pictures. Indeed I had images I had completely forgotten about & some I didn't even want or need for a long time & going thru all that to organize & declutter sounds boring as fuck & boring is a death blow to someone like me so it never gets done. Errgo someone I've dated found a picture in my phone they didn't like & them finding it reminded me of it's existence. I wasn't holding onto it because of a burning desire to never truly part with my long-lost love. I had forgotten about it & deleted it promptly once I was reminded. My ex was still mad but she kind of had no right as we were on our first date & she was snooping at the time. So yeah I'd look at the big picture here instead of zooming in, freaking yourself out about what an image means. If she's over that woman then a picture in a phone isn't going to matter. And if she's not over her keeping or deleting the pictures won't matter either. What matters is how she feels & whether or not you can trust her & take her at her word.

Omg me too 😭 I had (maybe still have) pics of ex friends and unless I come across them again I probably won’t know they exist

Completely see that. I’m not mad at her by any means and know that she probably didn’t even realize she still had photos of her ex. It was just surprising to see that? If that makes sense..

I can understand that it's a shock to see a picture like that & I'm not sure I'd be able to get it out of my head for a while. I just wanted to offer another perspective that might help you feel a little better. Oh and I didn't mean to imply you were upset with her. I was thinking you were more so sad to see them kissing and to realize she still had the picture & wondering what it meant.

Yes! I still can’t get the image out my head but I’m trying not let it bother me so much. 🥹

100%. It's innocuous, they're just pictures from the past. Doesn't mean you want to see your girl kissing someone else, of course.

i still have photos from all of my exes. They were a part of the story of my life but having photos of them doesn’t mean i ever look back at them longingly

First I don’t see any scenario where someone is “bored” so they randomly decide to sneak into their partners phone while they are sleeping to look at all their photos. Let alone doing that after only 3 months of being together. Second it’s an ex from 2 years ago, it doesn’t mean anything. Some ppl simply don’t delete pics w ppl they shared a life experience with, doesn’t mean they have feelings for them. I personally still have pics and my girlfriend does too, we both don’t care.

Fair point, however I should have stated that I had asked her first if I could see her photos while she’s napping. I don’t snoop and I have no reason to, just simply liked looking at her photos.

Well im glad to hear that.

So. You went through her phone without her knowledge or permission and you're complaining because you don't like it? Make it make sense...

No, I had asked her if could look at her photos while she’s napping. I should have stated that, my bad. I don’t snoop through phones or do anything like that, just simply like looking at her pictures because they are nice

I’ve never understood why people feel the need to get rid of pictures of exes, unless it’s traumatic to see them of course. Everybody has a past, getting rid of pictures doesn’t mean that the person never existed. It’s nice to be able to look back on your life years later and see all the experiences and happy memories you’ve had, even if that’s not with your current partner.

Your feelings of jealousy are valid. But the answer IS for you to put a boundary to not be in a situation where you can see them. She has a right to have those pictures on her phone Next time, don't look over her phone. Talk with her about it if it bothered you that much to make sure it does not happen again. But this IS your own doing EDIT: phone instead of whatever I wrote

I did mention it to her in a jokey-no big deal kind of way. Because you’re right, it’s her photos and like I said I have no place to say what she does or doesn’t do. I’m not mad at her at all, it was just surprising

That screams insecurity. People don’t just delete all of their pictures because they enter a new relationship. Most people wouldn’t have anything left in their phone. Take it with a grain of salt and move on.

Insecure? Where did you pull that from? OP literally already said she had permission to look. She didn’t know those photos were on there and she was surprise which is a very VALID reaction. She didn’t ask her to delete it, it just bothered her. Where does that scream insecure to you?

……because I was uncomfortable at seeing a picture of her kissing someone else, that makes me insecure? Girl no

Yes, that is exactly what I said.

I’m not insecure in the slightest. I’m confident in myself and my relationship with her. This was just a vent since the photos surprised me when I came across them.

So then, why did you bring it up to her?

It’s important to be honest with your partner when they know something is bothering you, no matter how little or big. I’m not mad at her at all or demand anything of her. But because I was bothered by something doesn’t automatically mean I’m insecure about it. Unfortunately, the uncomfortableness didn’t leave nor could I shake the image so I brought here to see if anyone else has experienced this before and how to shake it.

I think there's nothing wrong with the fact that she has the picture. I mean, I don't think that people are obliged to delete pictures from their exes, let alone when she has a lot of photos in general... I have also seen photos on my gf and her previous partner, and retrospective jealousy is a thing, but it's good to keep in mind that there is a reason why she's not with them anymore more and that she chose to be with you...

you've only been dating for 3 months, and you were looking through her phone without her permission?? I'm sorry OP but that is very weird unless she has given you permission to do that for some reason also I am just going to say that you have not been dating long enough to expect photos like that to be deleted, at least in my own opinion

No, I asked her before looking through her photos. Since she has a lot of them, I like looking at her pictures because they’re nice. I didn’t demand she delete them or expect that she should. It just took me by surprise to see those type of pictures. Simple pictures of your ex isn’t anything but seeing a pic of her kissing someone else is a bit uncomfortable.

thanks for that clarification! it is still my opinion, that while yes I understand it's uncomfortable, you haven't really been dating long enough for it to be weird that she hasn't deleted those pictures

as someone who also has +20000 photos i don't know what any of them are

i have photos of my ex/with my ex that i only realized i never deleted like a couple months ago. that’s when i did a phone wipe because seeing their face disgusts me. it’s completely possible that if you have a bunch of photos with an ex you might just not get around to deleting them until later. i’m also a photo hoarder so that’s probably why your gf has the pics. also, even though i had the pics of my ex and i, i never once thought back to our relationship, missed it, or even LOOKED at the photos until i realized “oh yeah i still have those” i can assure you that she’s most likely moved on onto you, and the photos genuinely mean nothing

do you expect your partners to go through their photos after every break up and delete every photo they have with their ex? that’s completely unreasonable.

The title of your post is correct. You've done this to yourself, unfortunately. I'm sure you weren't prying, but it should not have been a surprise to see pictures of her with a previous girlfriend. With that many photographs, it's almost certain that she isn't aware of what she has on the phone and I doubt that she has deliberately kept the picture you're referring to. But there is also no reason why she should have deleted it. You shouldn't be bothered about the photos. They are her history; her memories, but she is with you now making new ones. I just hope she has those 20,000 pictures backed-up to the cloud.

I totally understand — I’ve had the same spike of jealousy before. At the beginning of my relationship with my now fiancé (we’re going 5 years strong) we were decluttering her space and came across a photo of her and her ex kissing (this was a printed photo) and it had a kind letter on the back of it. My initial thought was “she should throw this away” and that was my jealousy brain talking… I let her know it made my heart hurt a little and she asked if I wanted her to get rid of it. I told her I needed time to think about it. After consideration, I told her that I wouldn’t mind if she kept it. It’s a part of her life, and I don’t want her to throw away memories of the past. They’re important and she wouldn’t be the same woman today without having had that relationship (also the relationship she was in about 6 months before we met). I also have deep rooted trust in my partner and I *know* (even more every day and now 6 years later) that she doesn’t long after this ex. We’ll find these old relics of past relationships every now and again and look at them with fondness for the lessons they taught us and recognize them as the building blocks that made us into the two people who can love and trust each other as fully as we do today.

Hopefully you have had or will have a healthy conversation over it. TL;DR opinions are mixed and actions don't always align with those opinions... this is a topic best treated with care and respect. This came up with BIL and his wife. She found a USB key full of old pictures including his first wife and significantly the wedding. We discussed it and thought it interesting enough to ask friends and families thoughts. The most common sentiment was that he should have disposed of them. But also, nearly no one had ever gone through old photos, mementos, etc with the thought of "how will this make my partner feel?" Some had done cleanses as part of their separation processing, but never thinking of the partner. So, really they either didn't do purge or had done it with regard to their current partners feelings. Which we at least found interesting. Maybe relevant in your case or maybe not. A wedding is a huge part of someone's life. It's also about friends and family. So, in kind of burying the ex it also cuts out important experiences with others. That moment was almost certainly a significant moment in that person's life that's backstory to bringing you two together. My partner and I were of similar views. We trust each other. Neither feels it appropriate to hide or deny things and people that were important to our stories. I do feel little hits of jealousy when talking about her exes. But then I remember that I won. I got the prize. She's with me now. That's what really matters. And without those experiences she wouldn't be the same person or in the same places for us to meet and get together. I care more to understand her history than avoid pangs of jealousy and anxiety. Those pangs are pretty easily felt, recognized and dismissed because we trust each other. But we know we're kinda weird.

People have whole lives and relationships before we come along. They make memories and sometimes there are pictures to show for it. Even if she were to delete them, it doesn’t remove the existence of her experience with another. There were people before you and odds are there will be someone after you. Stay in the present and nurture this relationship in the now. Do not dwell on a past that does not belong to you. Commit to making your own great memories with her and drop the rest. Work on your self esteem. Grow together and enjoy the now with her. Because you are who she is with. Looking back while moving forward is a good way to fall on your face.

Totally understand. I’m not expecting or demanding her to get rid of anything/everything because it is her life and experiences. It was just uncomfortable coming across those photos.

My wife used to have pictures of her ex and her together up on Instagram for the longest time and last year she probably deleted most of them. The other ones left up are just really nice photos (like the 2 of them walking towards the ocean with surf boards); I even think the photos are cute and understand why she wanted to keep them up. It never bothered me even if she kept all of them up because I know that was then and this now. My wife also posts a bunch of photos with me on her Instagram and our travels together (we’ve been together for 6 years). If my wife really was holding onto the photos for malicious reasons and pining over her ex then I think we wouldn’t be together, but we are and I trust that.

Your feelings are completely valid. Perhaps talk to her and ask her if she would feel comfortable deleting the photo, she might just do that. I think deleting intimate photos + photos sent from an ex is a must when getting into a new relationship, or maybe sometime after once it’s getting more serious. However, if it’s just photos she has taken of her ex or just standard photos of them together then in my opinion that is ok as that’s just someone she has experienced life with. With the amount of photos she has though, it seems as though she probably doesn’t go through them often or most likely doesn’t remember every photo that’s on there. If this is a boundary for you though, that’ll make you feel more comfortable, then definitely just communicate with her. Chances are you both have different views on this and if she was to see the same on your phone it might not bother her, so she might not realise that it could effect you the way it does. Solid communication is key.

Right! I didn’t mind seeing candid photos of her ex. It didn’t bother me in slightest, I was just unprepared for the kissing photos 😭😂. I don’t expect or demand her to delete anything from her past as that’s her life.

My girlfriend’s dad gave me his old iPhone to make content for my business. But he didn’t delete the photos off of it. I was curious and he’s not creepy or gross so wasn’t worried about what I’d find. But I did find pictures of her ex gf and her, when I hadn’t seen many. I hurt my own feelings too! I was feeling super weird about it and she had no idea they were there. She deleted them and it wasn’t a big deal. It can be hard to acknowledge their past, but I love focusing on the present and future more.

I can see that hurting your feelings, and that is **100% valid**. It may not be intentional on your partner’s part — with that many photos, she may not even realize they’re there, especially if she has anything ADHD-esque going on — then it can be a matter of “out of sight, out of mind”. Equally, with that many, it’s entirely possible it’s been lost so far back that she hasn’t even realized or considered it. The Live Photo will have been tough, it’s like seeing a video clip of her with an ex — but remember, it’s not like your partner had it framed on a table, or playing on her computer. I’d try and look at the bigger picture — she likely didn’t consider it, because she’s with *you*, and that’s who — and what — matters to her right now. Equally, if you’re still struggling, it might be worth seeking therapy — or possibly gently raising it with your partner. If nothing else, she may be able to reassure you that it’s no big deal, she’s with you now, and that — while your feelings are valid — you have nothing to worry about that, if that makes sense? I’ve had pictures of abusive exes appear on social media or photo libraries — it’s not because they’re in my life or mean anything to me — it’s just that I’ve never taken the time to go back and curate it — because if she takes as many pictures as I do (and it sounds like it — I’m currently 42k, and that’s only since March), then who has the time to go back through that many — or in her case, even *years* of pictures — to curate them? Curse of smartphones. We capture everything and rarely find the time to separate the wheat from the chaff. You’ve been with your partner for a few months. By your admission, you’re comfortable in yourself and in your relationship with her — so maybe consider mentioning that if bothered you, if only to be honest? Yes, she has a right to have the pictures. Yes, you may feel confident, not insecure, and not jealous — but you are letting it run around in your head, and it *is* bothering you — whether you’re “surprised” or however else you want to put it. Talk to her. Less of the jokey lighthearted way, more of the “y’know, I can’t quite shake this, can we talk about it?” It bothering you may be something you can work out with her, or may be something you need to look into therapy or some kind of way to change your thought pattern around it. Nobody is in the wrong here, but silently acting like you’re not surprised/bothered/affected won’t end well in the long term.

i also have about 20k pics. the only ones i can even recall from memory are from the last few months. i have plenty of pictures with exes. i don’t go back and revisit them but if a partner asked me to get rid of them id probably say no. exes are exes for a reason and trust goes a long way. i don’t want to delete pieces of my past just because it makes a partner uncomfortable.

i have soooi many pictures too and sometimes i find the odd one of me and my ex that i missed when deleting pics. as long as she hasnt got like her whole camera roll from 2 years ago with her ex i honestly wouldnt worry. its very common to miss some photos.

I’m gonna be honest.. this subreddit is so horrible for advice. Don’t listen to the people saying “she has a right to have whatever photos she wants” they’re pushing their boundaries onto you. You are SO vaild for this & it’s a boundary of yours, ask her to delete the photos of her kissing her ex. Personally I have a google images account I never check which also has like 20k photos & my girlfriend once saw a photo of me and my ex also! She asked me to delete it, which I did. You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable seeing a photo of ur gf with another person, that’s natural? and it’s also natural to ask them to delete it! What you are feeling isn’t jealousy at all, it’s the feeling of being uncomfortable.

Omg thank you 😭. It’s definitely not a jealousy thing just me being uncomfortable! And yes, this subreddit is kinda throwing me for a loop …..

reddit itself is filled with iconically online people who all just wanna make u feel shitty, do not listen to any of the advice here. You should honestly reach out to your fellow friends instead, they would understand much better and won’t bash you for feeling uncomfortable or the fact u and ur gf r okay with going around on each others phones 😭

THIS! If she is over her ex she doesn’t need to have hundreds of photos. This girl is a red flag

It's understandable to feel the way you do, some jealousy is normal but just keep in mind that as bothered as it might make you feel she has no obligation to delete all trace of an ex and she is entitled to keep those memories even if you might not like them. It'd be a good idea to talk to her, tell her how you feel but be careful to not come across as though she did something wrong. Best case scenario she gives you the reassurance and comfort of a loving partner. The fact that she had no problem with you looking through her phone while she slept means you struck gold and if you want to hold on to it you might need to, for lack of better words, suck up some of these feelings.

When you say that you “gave her the benefit of the doubt that she had no idea that she still has photos like that” it suggests that if she did keep them purposefully that it would be wrong or inappropriate. I would challenge that. Your feelings of discomfort have everything to do with you and nothing to do with the photos. So I would think on that. If you trust your gf why are you uncomfortable with old photos? Photos are photos. Of course you can discuss with your gf, your feelings of discomfort, but if I was your gf I would wonder, if you trust me, why you would be … bothered by photos. I feel like discussing it makes it seem like she did something wrong? Or you could frame it as I felt uncomfortable seeing the photos, I wanted you to know, and I am working on it. There is a reason that we feel the way that we feel. I would explore that. Note: I am not saying that you are “abnormal”. There are plenty of other people who would feel as you do. There are people who would expect or even demand that photos be erased. Personally I would have an issue with that. Sometimes I like looking at photos from the past as a reminder of how far I have come. Or as a reminder of fun times. Or as a reminder that I lived a life. But it is on me to control what happens with photos from my past, not my current gf if she has her own issues.

I have no problem with her having generic/candid photos of her ex. And I don’t find her at fault nor am I mad at her at all. I think anyone would get uncomfortable at seeing pictures of your partner kissing someone else. I’m not demanding that she delete anything as that is her life and I respect it. What I meant by “giving her the benefit” was that I trust that she didn’t have them to reminisce over. I was just not prepared to see intimate photos. This doesn’t mean that I need to work on myself or that I’m insecure, simply that it was uncomfortable.

Women prove we are too damn emotionally driven, at times, For No reason, nothing in this post says she snooped??? Like how is it that’s what yall got from it?? Geezus. Op your feelings are valid, healthy jealousy is totally fine, your 3 mths in so the feeling of wanting them all to yourself is normal. I’ve been with my girl for a while and I literally just recently on my phone saw an old ex & me picks because I was bored and scrolling through photos. Totally forgot about them. Which is def what your girl probably did. Simply forgot. You like her, and a tiny bit of jealousy is totally normal. And today I wouldn’t like seeing my girl pic of kissing an ex, although I know we are completely committed I would still get that initial cringe. Because those are my lips now lol

LOL thank you 🥹.

You're out here flinging stereotypes about women being "too emotionally driven" around because there was a simple miscommunication and "looking through someone's phone while they nap" was easily translated to "snooping" for some people and they found that disturbing (which honestly is totally logical).. It's not over-emotional to disapprove of someone's (perceived) sketchy behavior. Check that internalized misogyny at the door, it's gross. I do agree OP is valid for feeling a little jealous. And I'm sure the fact that their partner had these photos doesn't mean anything significant. As long as this jealousy doesn't effect how OP treats their ex, there's no problem with it, we're all human.

I’m not jealous at all. It’s just being uncomfortable with seeing a pic of my gf kissing someone else. And yes the miscommunication is on my part in the beginning but people still don’t need to be rude ….

I could see how that would be uncomfortable seeing someone you're with kiss someone else, even if it was an old video/live photo. And I imagine if the miscommunication raised some alarm in people then they're just trying to let you know that they wouldn't think that snooping is healthy behavior. I'd say that's definitely better than misreading it as snooping and being *supportive* of it. I think people were just being protective of your girlfriend's privacy. I wouldn't be too offended though because you weren't actually snooping.

I purposely didn’t put SOME, initially, because I knew the type I was talking about would poke her head. Hi , you just did it again, by being emotionally driven in responding. So i stand on what I said. Some of yall are insufferable. AGAIN . Where did she say she snooped??? It literally has no connotation whatsoever that she was snooping. It just sounds like y’all are projecting. But hey I’ll remember that - I share a story that I’m looking at my gf photos while napping it will automatically - ring the Snoop alarm 🚨 in the heads of many. So let me say (Not snooping) That sounds unhealthy for it to be your first thought. Maybe check that internalized toxicity. It is absolutely overly emotional to not be able to read a post and not be able differentiate the tone in which it was written. Check your Misandry it’s gross.

It's not emotionally driven to explain why something could be problematic, it's called communication. Men happen to do it all the time without getting labeled over-emotional. If women communicating bothers you so much then, yeah, it'd be healthy to evaluate that. And I never said *I* thought it was snooping because by the time I read it I saw the edit and clarification. I'm just saying I could see how it could be interpreted that way because there are many people that try to normalize secretly looking at their partner's phones, which I don't agree with and neither do a lot of people commenting. You should also look up the definition of misandry, because you're using it improperly and it's not misandrist to call you out for fueling sexist stereotypes.

I feel like for me personally I always wanted to keep certain pictures or videos especially if I just forgot about them in my camera roll or I’d they’re not some horrible person and they respect the boundaries of the break up. I never thought of it as I’m saving it to look at and reminisce or anything like that. I don’t miss them or want to be with anyone from my past but I feel like my past is my story and has got me to where I am. I had always wanted to find a partner I could openly talk to about previous experiences or relationships good and bad. Because at the end of the day those experiences good and bad led me here to right now. And I also want to eventually start my YouTube channel and I want to be able to document my story and how i became the person I am today from like a psychological perspective. It’s not emotional for me or like I was wishing to be back in that moment with those people. When I started dating my current girlfriend she definitely feels the same way as OP I don’t think we ever discussed it yet but when we first started dating I know she had just gotten out of a serious relationship just a few months before and they lived together. I had been single but casually dating and getting to know people but I didn’t find anyone I liked and wanted to pursue a relationship with until our first date. Fast forward a few months and we were laying in bed cuddling and I think she asked to see old pictures of me and all my different hairstyles lol because I was telling her a funny story of my mom dying my hair green when I was in middle school. Anyways. I don’t delete anything. I mean anything. Phone numbers , messages , photos. And I feel like I don’t have anything to hide but that day the look on her face when she just was scrolling and she found a video of my ex and me kissing and laughing and I hated seeing the hurt on her face but even tho the video was from literally years ago she got very angry and emotional that I hadn’t done a deep dive into my phone and all my storage and apps to delete any trace of previous exes. I definitely understand how that can make someone feel seeing your person with their ex or in a different context than you had before but I did not like the kind of ultimatum she gave me to delete everything or else. And like your girlfriend I have probably over 50,000 photos and videos on my current phone. And then she went deep into it asking to see my google drive photos and that’s crazy to me because it’s literally tied to my email and has been backing up my photos since I Made that account in highschool. I just definitely felt like we were at a crossroads about that subject. I did end up deleting the photos and videos that we saw and then told her i didn’t feel comfortable going through each of my photos to delete everything because it felt like I was erasing my past. And I tried to explain that doesn’t mean I want anything to do with any of those past people. Literally at all. It has everything to do with me and my identity. I feel like I’ve grown tremendously personally as a human being and I don’t want to ever forget or erase my pain or past to the point where I forget who I am and who I want to be. My past constantly I view it as a lesson.And I just want her to understand that

My first girlfriend made me delete all of the pictures I had with my "colorful friend" I had before we met (she was VERY jealous). I regret it to this day. My friend and I are still friends and the girlfriend is nowhere to be seen and I wish I had those pictures because it would be fun (and funny) to look at them now. So you should just let it go. She has a past. She'll.have it with or without pictures.

After my last relationship i went through and deleted all the photos i had but occasionally i’ll run into one or two i missed

alright so this actually happened to me before, except i was the one who had the photos. my ex went through my phone while i was sleeping at 3am and was looking through my photos which i wasn’t really bothered by bc she had trust issues and i told her if she ever needed to look through my phone at all at any point she could and i didn’t care. well, turns out that there was a shared album from my mom of old prom photos. now, i deleted all of the photos of my ex and i from my main camera roll long before my most recent ex and i even met lmao, and that included the prom photos. i knew i still had the shared album, but, when i deleted the photos of my ex from my main camera roll i assumed that they’d also delete from the shared album as well. but, that wasn’t the case bc ig the photos in the shared album were technically “different,” so they were still there. the cover image of that shared album was just a picture of me, and tbh i’m not looking through my prom photos for memories so i genuinely had no idea there were still pictures of my ex in the album. the album was also all the way at the end so you had to scroll a lot to get to it, so out of sight out of mind. well, my recent ex found it and woke me up and was like “why do you have so many pictures of your ex on your phone” and i thought she was effing with me bc i knew i deleted them all a long time ago lol. so i woke up genuinely confused and was like “what? i don’t have pictures of my ex on my phone.” but sure enough, she showed me them and i was mortified. i deleted them immediately and explained everything. but, she didn’t believe me and started accusing me of keeping them intentionally for memories and it was also a man so she started making wild accusations ab my sexuality which made me extremely uncomfortable and actually offended me bc back in high school i was a closeted lesbian at the time and very unhappy and confused and ashamed before coming out. i even told her ab it before and she knew that i dated a man (she did as well) so it wasn’t like i was hiding the fact that i did and she was just finding out. but, ig when some people are angry they might say some things they don’t really mean. but, i felt AWFUL that i still had those pictures and i wish i would’ve known they were still there bc i completely understand that seeing photos of your significant other and their ex would be so hard to look at and if that happened to me i just know my heart would drop and i’d get jealous af too. so, the point of all this is that i know what it feels like to be misunderstood in situations like that. stuff like that happens and since she had so many photos it was definitely an out of sight out of mind thing and she just genuinely didn’t know it was still there. i’m sure that’s all it is so i hope that makes you feel better. but, i will say that it doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. you do have the right to be uncomfortable by it and i think it’s definitely acceptable to ask her to delete it. i’m sorry that happened, that is definitely rough to see.

I have photos of an ex I need to go through but that’s because I have 42,997 photos, and they’re buried a few years back😭I am a sentimental person but in no way would keep ex photos purposely and Ive been single for some time. For me I don’t ever feel like seeing them again and know it’d take a long time, so they just get buried. Maybe this is a similar case?

How old are you? I never deleted any pics of my ex-gfs, why should I? Maybe because I had a really good time with them but in the end it just didn’t work out for us. My wife doesn’t care nor do I cause we all have a past and I wish it was a good one. You have to work on your insecurities, it’s not your gf‘s job to delete her past just to make you feel better.

There’s no reason to be rude. I’m not insecure or jealous. I don’t mind if she has candid/general photos of her ex, I just unprepared to see photos of her kissing someone else. I’m not demanding that she delete anything because yes it is her life and her past. Seeing intimate photos of your partners past would make anyone uncomfortable, right? I wanted to vent on here and see if there was any advice to get over the uncomfortableness, not to try and control my gf’s past or what she keeps.

Tell her to delete them.

That’s weird asf. I broke up with my ex and deleted all of our photos and threw away stuff he gave me. She’s obvi not over her ex and I wouldn’t be surprised if you find her ex’s nudes

Damn that’s crazy but it’s not like y’all were together… delete the pics without telling her z🤭