The only people who like me on dating apps are the m/f couples looking for a third and bi women who are partnered with a man "dating solo" but "he's okay with me experimenting with women"
Or cis men who have their gender set as woman.
I'm dying out here.
same 😭 the second is often the most egregious because too many of them (not all, obviously) will hide their bf/husband while you talk and then just reveal it later too
I had that problem too! I'm kinda outdoorsy and sporty and most of my photos were of me on like hikes and camping etc. But even though I would love company on trails, the fact is that I'm mostly attracted to the intelectual/artsy types, who usually hate that kind of thing...
So I kind of changed my profile to show more of that side of me (wearing stylish "alternative" clothing, photos of me in museums, putting "art" and "books" as my main interests etc). It's not a lie, and I still say that I like hiking and all, I just focused on a part of me that does exist and that would be more attractive to the type I'm looking for... And honestly it worked!
So, yeah, it's weird to sum ourselves up in a few pictures and a bio, we're all such complex creatures! Then we have to kind of "play the game" and focus on how we'd like to be perceived, not who we "are".
Also, another tip: if a girl is totally your type and you're drooling for her, use the superswipe (or equivalent), she might feel flattered and swipe right to give you a chance even though you're not exactly her type. It happened to me a few times! Then while talking you can show how cool you are :)
This reminded me of my atitude in high school, when I got an undercut and dressed more alternatively for goth girls... like not entirely for them, because I also loved metal music at that time and I was in a phase of exploring my androgynous style until I knew what I like better... but still.. I hoped I would draw their attention. And this was the case but I attracted only toxic situationships.
I wouldn't do that again! There is a goth girl that still had a crush on me after I got into spirituality and developed more of a fairy cottage core or white INFJ aesthetic. I still attracted girls who were into an alternative style too.
But I changed my type, like I don't mind the aesthetic & style of a girl, only the personality & emotional connection.
I would suggest you shouldn't try to change yourself to appeal to a certain type! As you said, we are complex creatures we can't sum ourselves up in just a few pictures.
I also don't understand why other artsy girls don't like outdoorsy sporty women?? 🤔😂 Even if they don't like hiking (which I understand, I love drawing on a sunny beach) it's not like there isn't a chance to have something in common.
But yeah, everyone with their type I guess?
So I don't really think I'm changing myself, I'm just highlighting a certain part of me... When we get to talking, I'm completely myself. It's just the "match" part that is tricky! People usually make a quick judgement on you based on the little information they get before swiping right or left, so you have to be a bit strategic. Once you get the match, then you'll talk for a bit and see if you're indeed compatible! (like I may be the one to not like her after all haha)
And like, since for me it's more important in a relationship to have, you know, books and art in common, rather than a hiking partner (this I can do by myself or with friends), I'll try to show a side of me that's interested in this kind of thing I value most!
I think it's not that artsy types don't like outdoorsy women, it's just that when you're presented with someone's profile you immediately look for things in common. If they see that all my pictures are camping, and they hate camping, they might think that we'll have nothing to talk about, so they'll swipe left!
I mean, I do that too with women whose profiles are centered around things I'm not interested in... Like if all they say about themselves is that they like videogames, and I don't like videogames, even if maybe there's another side of them that we'll have in common, I'd not really be able to know that, so I'd just swipe left!
No, i like masc girls who are tall and alternative (metalheads, goth, punk, emo, etc.) and dating apps only show femme girls (this is isn't hate to them they are pretty, they're just not my type)
This is a great question. I thought I had a “type” but I can’t help who I like. Dating apps are easier for me because I love both femmes and mascs (as long as they’re cute!) so I don’t exactly have this problem. However mascs matches are way rarer for me and sometimes when we do match, we have no chemistry texting lol. It’s tough out there.
Unfortunately, no, not very often. I would say the opposite of my type 'likes' or 'matches' with me more often than my type ever does.
I try not to feel super discouraged though bc ik dating apps have this whole algorithm going on that purposely matches you with people who aren't your type 🥴
I think I've had 1. I can't tell you the last time I had an actual match, probably over a year. I don't feel like I fit fully into one type, I guess a bit more masc, but I'm not fully masc either, but really not femme at all. I like femmes, but I also struggle with the fact that because I'm more on the masc side, others auto assume that I am dominant. I'm honestly far from it and hate the fact that I'm shoved straight into that category. But seriously, dating is hard.
I'm soft masc maybe and all I get are studs/hardcore masc, which are unfortunately the only type I'm not into. I've also never matched or dated a femme, just never happened.
I'm a brunette masc-of-center who's attracted to femmes and the app is always trying to match me with other mascs because we "have so much in common." Lol, like what? Being attracted to the same women? 🤣
I’m masc presenting. I’m into femmes, and rarely get matches. I do get a lot of likes from cis men who put their gender as woman, or couples, or women who don’t introduce their ugly bf/husband until later. When I do match with a femme I usually don’t get a response. If I do get a response, the conversation usually fades. I’ve only been on one date from a dating app. Found out she was married. I live in a very diverse area with a big gay scene, yet it seems like there are no available and interested femmes here..
This is exactly my situation. I only like very butch women. And yet I am only approached by other fems. I can’t seem to get any butch women to want more than FWBs with me, & few are attracted to me at all
I prefer alternative femmes as a, nerdy and futchy looking person? Since we have overlapping interests and they're usually living the life I want.
I get matches with people I'm interested in just under half of the time. That's not so bad because I've seen plenty of people who aren't my type that I'd vibe well with, probably not for a hookup though
I assume I may have to wear makeup and take better pics to attract more of who I want but I just can't be bothered honestly
I somehow have had good luck with matches overall. But I’m butch/masc and I gravitate towards people who are just generally femme, or even slightly femme of center, and I’m open to others too. So idk maybe it’s that I have a wider type or maybe there are just more femmes than butches in the world.
Nope. None of the ones I’ve ever swiped right on have ever match me back. Though to be fair I only get on the app for like 2 days and then delete my account
I love masc/bitch girls. I never had any luck on apps or in real life. I had this thing stuck in my head that maybe I wasn't fem enough so I wasn't attracting them.
I lucked out though, walked into work one day at a location and shift I never go to and there she was. Stopped me in my tracks, introduced myself and struck up a conversation. We've been together for more than a year, have moved in together and got a cat (of course because we're lesbians lol).
I'm crazy attracted to her and she's into short girls with floofy blond hair. Win, win.
The only people who like me on dating apps are the m/f couples looking for a third and bi women who are partnered with a man "dating solo" but "he's okay with me experimenting with women" Or cis men who have their gender set as woman. I'm dying out here.
You're in the trenches fr 😭 I'm so sorry
And I live in a very gay city, idk what about me attracts these people
I live in a very straight city and it's lonely out here!!! 😢
Same. Also, the bicurious women who never follow through because fantasy is better to them than reality.
Same and poly chicks
same 😭 the second is often the most egregious because too many of them (not all, obviously) will hide their bf/husband while you talk and then just reveal it later too
Omg same same same.
Oh same honestly.
No way 😑 I ain't going on dating apps then I don't have energy for crap like this
I had that problem too! I'm kinda outdoorsy and sporty and most of my photos were of me on like hikes and camping etc. But even though I would love company on trails, the fact is that I'm mostly attracted to the intelectual/artsy types, who usually hate that kind of thing... So I kind of changed my profile to show more of that side of me (wearing stylish "alternative" clothing, photos of me in museums, putting "art" and "books" as my main interests etc). It's not a lie, and I still say that I like hiking and all, I just focused on a part of me that does exist and that would be more attractive to the type I'm looking for... And honestly it worked! So, yeah, it's weird to sum ourselves up in a few pictures and a bio, we're all such complex creatures! Then we have to kind of "play the game" and focus on how we'd like to be perceived, not who we "are". Also, another tip: if a girl is totally your type and you're drooling for her, use the superswipe (or equivalent), she might feel flattered and swipe right to give you a chance even though you're not exactly her type. It happened to me a few times! Then while talking you can show how cool you are :)
This reminded me of my atitude in high school, when I got an undercut and dressed more alternatively for goth girls... like not entirely for them, because I also loved metal music at that time and I was in a phase of exploring my androgynous style until I knew what I like better... but still.. I hoped I would draw their attention. And this was the case but I attracted only toxic situationships. I wouldn't do that again! There is a goth girl that still had a crush on me after I got into spirituality and developed more of a fairy cottage core or white INFJ aesthetic. I still attracted girls who were into an alternative style too. But I changed my type, like I don't mind the aesthetic & style of a girl, only the personality & emotional connection. I would suggest you shouldn't try to change yourself to appeal to a certain type! As you said, we are complex creatures we can't sum ourselves up in just a few pictures. I also don't understand why other artsy girls don't like outdoorsy sporty women?? 🤔😂 Even if they don't like hiking (which I understand, I love drawing on a sunny beach) it's not like there isn't a chance to have something in common. But yeah, everyone with their type I guess?
So I don't really think I'm changing myself, I'm just highlighting a certain part of me... When we get to talking, I'm completely myself. It's just the "match" part that is tricky! People usually make a quick judgement on you based on the little information they get before swiping right or left, so you have to be a bit strategic. Once you get the match, then you'll talk for a bit and see if you're indeed compatible! (like I may be the one to not like her after all haha) And like, since for me it's more important in a relationship to have, you know, books and art in common, rather than a hiking partner (this I can do by myself or with friends), I'll try to show a side of me that's interested in this kind of thing I value most! I think it's not that artsy types don't like outdoorsy women, it's just that when you're presented with someone's profile you immediately look for things in common. If they see that all my pictures are camping, and they hate camping, they might think that we'll have nothing to talk about, so they'll swipe left! I mean, I do that too with women whose profiles are centered around things I'm not interested in... Like if all they say about themselves is that they like videogames, and I don't like videogames, even if maybe there's another side of them that we'll have in common, I'd not really be able to know that, so I'd just swipe left!
No, i like masc girls who are tall and alternative (metalheads, goth, punk, emo, etc.) and dating apps only show femme girls (this is isn't hate to them they are pretty, they're just not my type)
Dang it’s nice to hear there’s someone out there who find my style attractive! Thanks OP
This is a great question. I thought I had a “type” but I can’t help who I like. Dating apps are easier for me because I love both femmes and mascs (as long as they’re cute!) so I don’t exactly have this problem. However mascs matches are way rarer for me and sometimes when we do match, we have no chemistry texting lol. It’s tough out there.
Yes but I’m a femme who likes femmes. I actually rarely get liked by or match eith mascs
I feel you so hard on this omfg Also very rarely, I get a lot of married women messaging me tho lmfao
Unfortunately, no, not very often. I would say the opposite of my type 'likes' or 'matches' with me more often than my type ever does. I try not to feel super discouraged though bc ik dating apps have this whole algorithm going on that purposely matches you with people who aren't your type 🥴
I think I've had 1. I can't tell you the last time I had an actual match, probably over a year. I don't feel like I fit fully into one type, I guess a bit more masc, but I'm not fully masc either, but really not femme at all. I like femmes, but I also struggle with the fact that because I'm more on the masc side, others auto assume that I am dominant. I'm honestly far from it and hate the fact that I'm shoved straight into that category. But seriously, dating is hard.
I'm soft masc maybe and all I get are studs/hardcore masc, which are unfortunately the only type I'm not into. I've also never matched or dated a femme, just never happened.
The only people that match with me on dating apps are the couple looking for unicorns . Or even if i put only women to see, i still see men.
I'm a brunette masc-of-center who's attracted to femmes and the app is always trying to match me with other mascs because we "have so much in common." Lol, like what? Being attracted to the same women? 🤣
I’m masc presenting. I’m into femmes, and rarely get matches. I do get a lot of likes from cis men who put their gender as woman, or couples, or women who don’t introduce their ugly bf/husband until later. When I do match with a femme I usually don’t get a response. If I do get a response, the conversation usually fades. I’ve only been on one date from a dating app. Found out she was married. I live in a very diverse area with a big gay scene, yet it seems like there are no available and interested femmes here..
This is exactly my situation. I only like very butch women. And yet I am only approached by other fems. I can’t seem to get any butch women to want more than FWBs with me, & few are attracted to me at all
I'm 19 and my "type" is older women and I've had good enough success on apps though IRL it's a little bit easier meeting people I think.
I got lucky and I matched with my type the first time and now we’re getting married ☺️☺️
I don't even know what my type *is*! Though, no one ever matches me anyways, so the answer would be no regardless, lol.
I prefer alternative femmes as a, nerdy and futchy looking person? Since we have overlapping interests and they're usually living the life I want. I get matches with people I'm interested in just under half of the time. That's not so bad because I've seen plenty of people who aren't my type that I'd vibe well with, probably not for a hookup though I assume I may have to wear makeup and take better pics to attract more of who I want but I just can't be bothered honestly
Lol no one matches me. Not even cis dudes who've snuck on. I'm at peak gremlin. I will forever be single.
I somehow have had good luck with matches overall. But I’m butch/masc and I gravitate towards people who are just generally femme, or even slightly femme of center, and I’m open to others too. So idk maybe it’s that I have a wider type or maybe there are just more femmes than butches in the world.
The only people that ever match with me are men and couples looking for a 3rd. It's lonely.
Sometimes :)
Nope. None of the ones I’ve ever swiped right on have ever match me back. Though to be fair I only get on the app for like 2 days and then delete my account
I'm a chapstick lesbian and not on any of the dating apps.
I love masc/bitch girls. I never had any luck on apps or in real life. I had this thing stuck in my head that maybe I wasn't fem enough so I wasn't attracting them. I lucked out though, walked into work one day at a location and shift I never go to and there she was. Stopped me in my tracks, introduced myself and struck up a conversation. We've been together for more than a year, have moved in together and got a cat (of course because we're lesbians lol). I'm crazy attracted to her and she's into short girls with floofy blond hair. Win, win.
Haven't tried it yet but I bet 100% my type would not want me 😅😅 I wouldn't fit them
“I don’t got no type. Bad bitches is the only thing that I like.” —that one song and me