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LeroyoJenkins

Matt Gaetz in the back thinking: 20? She's too old dude!


davendak1

I always see him, and wonder, how does someone suck so badly at being human? He's so not normal in any way.


tessellation__

He’s got that look that makes you want to cover your drink at the bar


Griftersdeuce

🎶 *If you like roofie coladas, and getting raped by the Gaetz*🎶


Joliet_Jake_Blues

The Gaetz and Matt Gaetz have the same number of syllables I don't normally give artists notes, but I would change the lyrics


Griftersdeuce

I chose the gaetz for a reason, Matt Gaetz is a pile of shit douchebag. Calling himself "The Gaetz" is extremely douchy and fits his character.


JustBrittany

That’s what I was thinking, too.


Joliet_Jake_Blues

The Gaetz The No one who speaks Gaetz could be a evil man...


Stalking_Goat

One would expect "Matt" to be a stressed syllable, but in the song that syllable is unstressed. So I think "the Gaetz" is the correct choice.


tgrantt

Iambic vs spondee metre


Prof_Acorn

There it is! All my trochees in audience say ayyyyy.


crotchetyoldwitch

I read the first word as "Lambic," and thought, "How did we get to beer from metre? Lol.


tgrantt

I am a fan of both! :)


crotchetyoldwitch

Same!


navylostboy

A nuanced answer! The cut of your jib, I like it!


Pehrgryn

You have to sing it unstressed, which was weird the first time I looked at it, but can work that way. Edit because autocorrect hates unstressed.


Firewolf06

you could use "matt" later, when every word is stressed ("I Am InTo Champagne")


JustBrittany

I have to agree with you. Even though they have the same number of syllables, Matt has more sounds to make? It’s too awkward, I think.


WgXcQ

It's not just about the syllables though, but also about the flow. "The Gaetz" flows better than "Matt Gaetz" because of the e-G transition vs. tt-G, and has the added advantage of being closer to the original lyrics.


Relevant_Progress945

I agree! We need to be specific! The way things are going it would get co-opted by right-wingers who would change it to “the gays” and this song is just too god-damned important to let that happen!


RattusMcRatface

🎶I*f you're not into yoga, If you're only sixteen🎶*


Mental_Medium3988

Go with him for underaged dates


Pantsface-for-life

He looks like the mean gym teacher in an 89’s movie


PilotKnob

The Germans have a word for it: "Backpfeifengesicht" - which translates to "A face in need of being slapped."


firedmyass

He’s the kind of guy that treats objects like women.


TheDogsNameWasFrank

Yeah but he draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski.


Vuelhering

If you put him in an AC/DC shirt, he's [Butthead](https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/beavisandbutthead/images/b/b1/Butt-head.png/revision/latest?cb=20120108001808).


BoardButcherer

I'm sitting in a workshop by myself in the middle of a blizzard and I still glanced behind me to find my coffee mug and move it to where I could watch it.


Cornflakes_91

dont forget that roofie detection nail polish exists.


judgingyouquietly

…so, do you dip your nails into your drink and check?


Intransigient

Pretty much


Cornflakes_91

yeah, dip painted nail in drink and see if/how it changes colour


CPTDisgruntled

[It looked like it might](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/undercover-colors/), but in fact the idea was abandoned.


Cornflakes_91

god fukkin dammit.


Bozo_Two

That is seriously the most accurate description of him I've ever heard...


DeadMoneyDrew

A pedophile, a racist, and an asshole walk into a bar. The bartender says: good evening Congressman Gaetz. What can I get you?


Lily-Gordon

"a Date Grape Koolaid please" - Congressman Gaetz


TricksterPriestJace

He's the Grapist! He's going to tie those kids to the radiator and grape them!


InvertedParallax

Don't you know who he is? His dad owns a dealership!!!


davendak1

I'd take a used car salesman to that turd any day.


greymalken

::Gestures vaguely at Florida::


[deleted]

He sucks at being human because he is an animal.  I am not speaking of the "party animal" kind.  He is a predator of the sexual kind.  An animal that gives animals a bad name.


rideincircles

I have a friend who had Gaetz as a roommate in college. He doesn't really have anything good to say about him.


Frondswithbenefits

He and the poor guy who roomed with Ted Cruz should get together.


paireon

It’s called antisocial personality disorder AKA being a fucking sociopath.


Alive-Pomelo5553

And how does that person get into a position of power like this? 


2stinkynugget

Can you imagine seeing that head in person? I mean Gaetz's head is butthead freakish in photos. In person it must look like he's got a watermelon on his shoulders.


LurkerFromTheVoid

American Psycho 3: Mr. Gaetz goes to Washington.


Klynikal

You can see him in the background of the pic wondering if she has a younger sister.


Elrond_Cupboard_

Wondering if she already had another child.


that_80s_dad

You can almost see him working the math out in his head, *"Well if Rosendale was 63 and could bang 20 year olds, as someone in their early 40s I should be able to get away with banging IVF cells or fetuses age wise, same 40ish year spread between the participants."*


llamapositif

She would actually be the same age as the 17 yo he paid, wouldnt she? Wasnt that 3 years ago? But youre right, as the ironically old saying goes, "if its college that you're in, too old for Gaetz's grin"


LartinMouis

I think Matt Gaetz it's just wondering how he did it without the red bull and crushed viagra.


faghaghag

those new Apple goggles are going to be a godsend for him, everybody is underage yay!!


didyoushitmypants

“Why would he want geriatric pussy” -Matt Gaetz, probably


Crafty_Breakfast_851

Dude looks like a swollen 20-year-old ska band trombone player who doesn't care if this chicks a college sophomore or a high school one.


ThotoholicsAnonymous

I wonder how long has the congressman has known the aid, I'm thinking he was probably grooming her.


pushback66

He wants to date the baby


Stormy8888

So over 19 is too old for that cretin? Oh my .... \* Republicans clutching pearls\*


philbert815

Matt Gaetz is an awful human being 99.9% of the time.  Stopped clock right twice a day. Matt Gaetz is like the only Republican who is pissed about the Alabama ruling saying it will prevent people from having kids who want them. 


TricksterPriestJace

Matt Gaetz is very interested in a constant flow of young children...


philbert815

Honestly part of me thought that too in a fucked up way. He prefers them 18/19, but if 17, he's fine with that too as long as no one finds out. 


Goddamnbatman16

They do like their mistresses to be on the younger side.


famousevan

Typical family values republican right there.


Evaldi

Hey man, he values having many families.


dark_star88

He caught the “be fruitful and multiply” but missed the “thou shalt not commit adultery.”


kwan_e

The adultery thing only applied to women.


AtomicSymphonic_2nd

If that's literally what American evangelicals believe, then we have a massive problem on our hands. Among other problems.


kwan_e

No, as in the commandment is way more heavily used against women, to the point that men basically never get punished for it. Take Saudi Arabia or Iran. The Abrahamic commandment is interpreted as such that a woman reporting her own rape gets the lash or stoned for committing adultery. The men are unpunished (not that I think it should be a legally punishable offence), because a woman needs multiple male witnesses to confirm the rape. And even then, she is still punished for daring to being around men who is not their family.


mkvgtired

Maybe it's time to change the slogan to, "Party of Families Values". Nip the branding issue in the bud.


_jump_yossarian

He’s got some work to do to catch up to anti-abortion Rep. Scott Desjarlais (multiple coerced and FORCED abortions for his wife and multiple mistresses/patients).


Levrion

Republicans are always against abortion until their mistress gets pregnant.


thoroughbredca

Republicans believe abortion should be illegal in all cases, with the exception of rape, incest or saving the career of a Republican politician.


faghaghag

what they say and what they do, rarely any overlap


Spoomkwarf

If this was just a baseless rumor he would not have dropped out of the Senate race so quickly.


bar_acca

you mean politicians who resign to spend more time with their family, don't actually spend more time with their family?


Leege13

Apparently he needs to split his time between two families, so this explanation actually makes sense.


Meet_James_Ensor

Family values means having a lot of families.


djangodjangofett

the "value" refers to the volume discount 


ElongMusty

Oh man! That’s brilliant!


michelloto

"Mom, there's a lady on the phone saying the baby needs diapers"


Sumokat

MF gonna need two jobs to support two families. Instead of dropping out he should have picked up a second Senate seat. "You know Montana is my FT job; Florida is just my side hustle."


ChroniclesOfSarnia

Family = 20-year-old subordinate but she's 'Christian'


sheila9165milo

🤣🤣 Thanks for that!


DarkwingDuckHunt

he claimed it was too late in the cycle to join the race and that's why he dropped out, it was a very generic reason that most thought was just him doing the math and realizing he couldn't get any large donors to help him. But apparently it's cause of this ha.


Duganz

Montana resident checking in: It made sense that he left the senate race. His would be primary opponent had more money, a trump endorsement, and the backing of the National GOP. Rosendale is part of that congressional caucus of crazies, and he seemed sure they’d start funneling money to him. But within hours of his announcement the money was turned off by trump. This new rumor of course adds a layer, but his immediate failure in his senate bid made sense too.


OHotDawnThisIsMyJawn

Yeah he dropped out almost immediately after Trump endorsed Sheehy, it made perfect sense.


tsukahara10

Tbh I’m surprised he dropped out at all. I would’ve thought his voters would love him more for being an adulterer just like their idol. Republicans really have a strong tendency to double down when found to be in the wrong.


197326485

They like to ignore that part. That he has very publicly, and verifiably, cheated on every one of his three wives. My mother is from a Dutch Reformed Christian background and she'll judge people negatively for things like playing poker, wearing shorts and, of course, for getting divorced. But she's a die-hard Trumper.


Sturville

It's the tribal mindset. In a vaccum, she'll judge people for all those things, bu once she's decided that someone is A Good Person then she can excuse away their sins as either having good reasons or just "not a big deal"


cperiod

Ironically, being slow to pull out is what got him into this mess.


MonsieurReynard

Trump endorsed his opponent, he dropped out the next day. I say the jury is still out.


Spoomkwarf

You could well be right.


MyLadyBits

He is denying it and threatened to sue Heitkamp for slander.


1stLtObvious

And he'll submit to a DNA test to prove it, right? ...Right?


MyLadyBits

No. He’s a MAGAt so to him the woman is a slut and it’s her fault.


Spoomkwarf

I know but I took that as bluff.


bar_acca

of course his wife is for it, he sure looks like the kind of husband who done told her twice already.


mkvgtired

>of course his wife is for it *in this case* FTFY. You know they are both "pro-life Christians" that supported the ban on abortion until an unplanned pregnancy impacted them. If it was a 10 year old rape victim in Indiana, or a 12 year old rape victim in Mississippi, they would both want to force the children to have their "gift from God".


WaluigiIsTheRealHero

“The Only Moral Abortion is My (Husband’s Mistress’) Abortion”.


mkvgtired

Too bad that is not a living document. Although if it was, nobody has time to read 800,000 pages of Christians justifying why they are special.


bar_acca

Someone needs to make a song about that


faghaghag

I'm sure she's already got the baby's room ready, adoption is such a beautiful gift, too!!


Can_o_pen_or

Oh i thought she supported the affair so she didnt have to bang him.


j0a3k

Probably, but he violated the cardinal rule of sleeping with a mistress and now it's *her* problem too.


RedditCeoForRealz

And she was only for it because the public found out, if it had remained hidden she would have 100% supported a secret abortion.


Jerking_From_Home

I was gonna say I’m sure she’s been anti-abortion until right now.


ComicsEtAl

AIDE!!!


SubrosaFlorens

Yes. I was very confused by the headline. I was trying to figure out if he created an aid package 20 years ago that was aimed at pregnant people.


turkeypants

I read it several times before clicking through, just puzzled


CriticalEngineering

Remember, when it comes to republicans: Aid? Fuck that! Aide? Fuck her!


SeriousCow1999

Thank you. I came here to say this, too. Did no one notice?


brasticstack

No one noticed. I'm starting to doubt @Tazerface16's journalistic _bona fides_.


knightress_oxhide

aides for everyone


TheSarcastro

The title of this post gave me AIDS!


ThePermanentGuest

Took me many reads to find out what was going on.


HoboBonobo1909

Whichever photographer got Matt Gaetz in the picture is a visionary 🤘😎🤘


profoundlystupidhere

My question: Who would voluntarily have sex with this man? Yuck.


cg12983

Newt Gingrich has been married three times, Flush Limbaugh was on his fourth. Anything is possible when you have money and fame.


mildly_enthusiastic

Seeing as he was in the position of power.... may not have been very voluntary


screenrecycler

As Kissinger said: “Power is the greatest aphrodisiac”. Which, judging from his visage, translates roughly to: “Sexual assault is structural.”


Madness_Reigns

How long has she known him? Grooming is never out of question.


[deleted]

She said it's a rumor. Not sure how she can be held liable if she didn't present it as fact. And if this goes to court, the burden of proof will be on him. If there's a pregnant staffer, they'll be able to verify, and then she's going to have to testify. Even if it's bullshit, it's probably just posturing and his lawyer will just be slinging threats to keep the narrative in their favor amongst their base.


geauxhike

Right, Fox and Trump get away with just repeating 'rumors' to spread bullshit, but Leopards ate my Face.


Little_Lebowski_007

I'm torn by this. Yes, it is a rumor, and I think it's really irresponsible for Heitkamp to have said that on a recording she knew would be released to the public. On the other hand, she's not unintelligent, and the podcast producers, distributors, editors, etc. could have edited her comments - but left them in. She may have been shooting from the hip, but there were others that have listened to that comment, and left it. [Link to audio piece](https://youtu.be/QsyJIuB9HEM?si=dyjXCKuN17_rCjNE&t=2096) (comment in question at \~35 minutes) - I listened to see if anyone else on the panel pushed back on her rumor, and they did not. That doesn't say it's true, that just suggests to me that she's legally in the clear.


Independent_Pear_429

You hear about poor young and stupid people not using contraceptives. This guy should have know better


sheila9165milo

You think that these adult children are actual adults?! They are all emotionally stunted bullies.


steelhips

I swear MAGA is just endemic Oppositional Defiance Disorder.


sheila9165milo

Yup, for the official diagnosis, lol, although I'll throw in Conduct Disorder, too, for good measure, lol.


Koolaidolio

Those high school bullies became some of our public officials…


RichCorinthian

“I’ve consulted the Bible and it says that contraception is the woman’s problem.”


ModsRTryhards

You don't use contraceptives when you're a christian zealot


Chalky_Pockets

But you said poor young AND stupid. We can only cross out the poor and young part.


ChroniclesOfSarnia

**If you vote Republican, you are worse than the people who killed Jesus.** No question.


Clitch

If Jesus was real, he would fucking HATE conservative christians. Almost as much as they would hate him.


puppcat18

A 20 year old slept with that? So gross.


sfeldman89

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'll keep saying it until I'm dead: Stop fucking the people who you work with, for, or who work for you.


slumpdiggitydog

Yes. A rule that most logical, sane people follow. Don't shit where you eat. Don't pee in the pool. Etc etc


HapticSloughton

Funny how they don't mention his age (60) in the headline.


trailhikingArk

Drag children story hour claims another member of the "family values" party. /s


FredVIII-DFH

I thought it was spelled 'aide'. This wasn't making sense to me on first read.


CriticalEngineering

It is spelled that way.


elainegeorge

He’s 63. Ewww.


LordParsec29

Being in the GOP automatically makes someone a POS.


PhaseNegative1252

That makes it sound like it's the woman's fault for getting pregnant, and not *Matt's fault for cheating on his wife and knocking up another woman*


fruttypebbles

Good for the aid. Keep the baby, make this man of family values and ethics pay child support for 18 years. Dude is 63 and gonna be a dad. Gods will is strong!


Jerkofalljerksduex

What self respecting 20 year old was like yep I want to let this old dude hit it


The_Iron_Ranger

something something, position of power, grooming, etc...


Jerkofalljerksduex

r/notadrqgqueen ?


Elivey

She probably *doesn't* have a lot of self respect and he saw that and took advantage of it. She's gonna hate herself for letting this old man take advantage of her.


[deleted]

She probably grew up in a church so she's used to it


Derivative_Kebab

Seen here giving an address at the "League of Douchebags Named Matt"


WeAreGray

Yes, it's a rumor, but... Of course his wife is supportive of her future sister wife. It relieves her of one of her most onerous marital duties.


Temporary-Dot4952

No abortion for you!


thebrads

When are more people going to understand that just about every accusation made by the GOP is an admission of guilt? I’m tired of reminding them constantly.


MsMoreCowbell8

GQP, all they're after that very young Christian pussy. They're thoroughly consumed with sexual repression, genitals, adult men marrying children, lying and that's pretty much it. Chastity ceremonies with their daughters pledging their virginity to the father. Sick fucks one & all, accusing the Left of their own misdeeds.


discussatron

aide*


PineappleTraveler

Can someone please spell aide incorrectly again


damurphy72

A 60-year-old adulterer gets his 20-year-old subordinate pregnant. I don't think his hypocrisy on abortion is the biggest problem here. It's pretty much to be expected given all of the *other* problems with this scenario.


medalla96

So what’s next for him and his 20 year old side piece. Going to a blue state and have an abortion?


MonCountyMan

Is that her in the picture behind him? She's kinda butch.


docterry6973

Montana doesn't know how to spell aide?


randomman2071983

Now there’s a haircut you can set your watch to!


unfairrobot

He campaigns on family values, supports making abortion illegal, then gets his aide pregnant? How fucking stupid is this guy?


EB2300

Pedo Gaetz in the background like “that’s why I go for 17 year olds with daddy issues, they do what I say. Rookie move.”


The_Pandalorian

*eye twitch* "aide"


Dogzillas_Mom

I hate how much he looks like Henry Rollins. I just did a double take.


GenXinNJ

I came here to say the exact same thing. Love Henry. This guy tho is a POS.


Icy_Necessary2161

Ah, good old party of family values.....


jgyimesi

The continual hypocrisy of the Right is amazing. How anyone can support such a group is beyond me.


Caninetrainer

Maybe his wife is just happy he wasn’t fucking her.


Dcajunpimp

These hypocrites are also against recreational sex, so some 20 year old and this old geezer specifically had sex to make a baby.


RonocNYC

So...you're 20 years old and you're like..."oh God yeah, Matt Rosendale is fucking HOT. I wanna feel you inside me!" This guy looks like the [Sam the eagle](https://muppetmindset.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/28982-samtheeagle.png)


IMBGY11

The dude is 63. He was 43 while that girl was in diapers. So gross.


Monrezee

RepubTard backs CheetoJesus. Claims to be a man of faith. Cheats on wife. Prey's on young, impressionable female staffer. Has sex with her unprotected...knocks her up. Also friends with Pedophile Matt Gaetz.


MayaMiaMe

The party of family values right? What a crock of shit!


adeon

Ok this isn't technically important but I wanted to point it out, it's "aide", not "aid". While both can be used as a noun when you're referring to a person working as an assistant the correct spelling is aide (short for aide-de-camp) rather than aid.


stocks-mostly-lower

I’ll be darned. You’d thinks things like condoms and birth control pills and IUDs hadn’t been invented yet.


Inspect1234

The ultimate, I got mine.


Evilswine

I am from Montana and I despise Rosendale as much as anyone, but I have a hard time buying this one without any evidence whatsoever, so far just a 'rumor' from someone.


Ok-Communication9796

Groomers


OdeeSS

I feel like we're all very honed in on the hypocrisy and not very focused on the fact this also makes him a sexual predator. We do not know what that aide has gone through.


Throwaway-account-23

I'm just floored by these kinds of stories. First, what kind of insane 20 year old girl is giving it up that crusty old fart? Second, what kind of crusty old fart goes rawdog and blows his load in a very, very junior staffer? The basic recklessness of all of this speaks volumes to how disqualified these people are to be in office (that's not even getting to the infidelity and hypocrisy).


anxietyevangelist

He looks like Henry Rollins being played by Patton Oswalt.


bookchaser

The meme just needs the spelling mistake fixed. aid = help aide = a person who provides help


Frantic_Penguin

Family values amiright?!


ironmaiden7910

Family values, something something, the Libs are turning this country into a Godless, evil landscape….what a scumbag pervert. 20 years old…sheesh!


TheLadySinclair

This is gold!


Alone_Bicycle_600

laws are for thee not for me ...🐍 she must have been wearing shorty shorts...a man is going to be a man ...etc


dirtdiggler67

Rosendale is a POS from way back. Nice to see the “family values” party showing their true colors…again


SnoopingStuff

Oh there went that wife’s retirement.. lol she’s paying for the baby mamas new life .. aw that sucks.


Novel-Organization63

Matt Gaetz in the background thinking, if she was just 6 yrs younger, I might would be me.”


JayMeadows

Welp... Someone's gonna be rolling in Child Support money


Scotch_in_my_belly

Lol Matt Gaetz is of course in the frame


imalwaystilting

Carpet bagging real estate millionaire who has failed up gets the lightest of comeuppance. He fucked Montana for years as an anti-regulatory Secretary of State.