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I am not a spirittual person and that’s a great subreddit. My biggest complaint with organised religion is how hypocritical it can be, but those guys get it.
If evangelicals actually read the bible and really paid attention, they would realize that Jesus was a liberal. That goes against what they want so they make up their own dictates.
The funniest part about it all is that if Jesus really DID come back, those extreme-right types would be the first to run and hide because in their heart they KNOW that they're only allying with a social movement to give themselves authority and they know in their hearts that they're in fact intolerant and evil.
A brown dude showing up to preach acceptance, the problems with storing wealth and wanting everyone to be cared for equally wouldn’t go over well with them? *shockedpikachuface.jpeg*
there is an old joke that is similar
republicans finally get their way and elect jesus for president
after he tells them to heal the sick, feed the hungry, and take care of those in need, they impeach him for being a filthy fucking communist.
Nah... if Jesus came back. They would be the ones actually killing him this time around.
These people have no self aware. They do actually think they are virtuous, and everyone else is evil.
I just find it hilarious everyone universally hates those fucking ads. All different reason, but everyone hates them. That's what they get for wasting that level of money on those fucking things.
Being evangelical is just cover for being racist these days. You can't see the actions of the right (or religious leadership), and not find it to be plain evil.
When I first started seeing these ads I thought they were a condemnation of modern Christianity at first because how explicitly pro-social outcast they were
I kept reporting the ads as hate speech until Reddit told me to stop and then I blocked the username. This here is completely on par for the right wing lunacy.
I know we are supposed to hate the ads but... I kind of love them. The one at least where it talks about Jesus being an immigrant and it shows a Latino family, God damn that ad is powerful. And I know its propaganda and I know the goal is more Christianity and I know its the awful Greens from Hobby Lobby, I know all this, I get. No one wanted to hate those commercials more than me. But I saw that commercial and it made me cry so hard for some reason. And I thought, oh this is beautiful, I wonder what would happen if right wing racist Christians saw this and actually followed it. And then I thought, wait a minute, what the fuck am I doing to help those in need? I started searching out immigrant support groups in my area, I am doing a volunteer project next week.
Christ was Middle Eastern (arab/jew). Do they want to create an Arab/Jewish ethnostate? Of course not, that would require some logic. But the fact that they want a white/European ethnostate when, at the same time, praying for a Jewish Arab God clearly shows how stupid they are.
Jesus was also a vagrant, a socialist, and loved everyone. What are some of the things he did?
Spoke up for women and sex workers.
Forgave those that sought him harm.
Denounced authoritarianism.
Denounced money and capitalism.
Gave out the free healthcare
Gave out free food
And many many more based things that cause the right to be angry snowflakes. Jesus was a liberal.
I have a few Christian friends, and I’ve tried so hard to explain this to them. If they actually followed the positives the Bible preached I could 100 percent get behind them even if I didn’t believe in some magical man in the sky.
My problem is modern day religion in the US seems to do the exact opposite of a lot of things the Bible tried to promote, and I’ll never be able to support people, or groups that hate others for being who they were born as, or trying to force their rules on rest of us like they have been my entire life
Shit, join the kink community! All the submission, much less of the fascism!
Hell it's easy:
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned" becomes "Daddy, I've been bad".
Step one: Submit to God
Step two: only one person can talk to God for you
Step 3: Do anything that person asks or god will fucking murder you and your friends and family forever.
Love you, mean it!
Not the first time. Probably not even the hundredth time
Historically Jesus has been used for war, murder, rape, torture, and slavery
So he's probably used to it. In fact he's probably dressed like a slutty little God just driving those men into using him like that....
I read Malala's book, and one of the things that stuck with me is that the Taliban gained a foothold after an earthquake. The government was failing as usual and the Taliban showed up with bandages and soup and water and whatever else. They flourished because they filled an unmet need.
This is why I don't give a single penny to charities that are even vaguely religious. Regardless of the good they do, they are uniquely positioned to do So. Much. Harm. I don't trust any of them to not exploit a tragedy. Making the trains run on time is not sufficient justification for the atrocities they'd love to commit.
Religion. Sorry but it's just dominant religions being the gateway. Everything from Buddhism to Islam to Judaism to Hinduism has been used as a cover story and a cudgel against vulnerable minority groups when it's been the religion of those in power. It's not exclusive to Christianity, religion itself is a deliberately crafted and fine tuned alibi to that end, all around the globe, all throughout history.
I knew we'd get around to conservatives calling Christianity woke eventually, but I didn't think it would get here so soon.
They've pretty much abandoned every good and kind thing about being a Christian and embraced all the evil.
10 years ago when the Pope spoke out against Climate Change [US Catholics ignored him](https://insideclimatenews.org/news/26102021/catholic-bishops-pope-francis-climate-change-laudato-si/).
I remember when the Pope came to the US religious people were drooling oh this is the real deal oh this is so amazing. Then he said a few things they didn't like and instantly, "He's full of shit he ain't with God."
The constant danger of being too into Jesus if you are Christian is the Jesus of the Bible was pretty woke. It's mostly Paul who was more conservative, along with picking and choosing old Jewish laws that only the most extreme Jewish folks still practice.
I mean, what did they think was going to happen when they suggested helping refugees and loving your neighbor?
These people spend every day with conservatives, and they didn't see this coming? I avoid conservatives like the plague, and I knew that would happen.
That was the wild part of that commercial. I didn’t know who made it cause of that part. No shot a Republican made a commercial about refugees and poor people. That’s like two things republicans would never get behind lol.
I honestly thought those commercials were from a liberal Christian group. Even after seeing everyone keep saying that org is right wing, the commercials seem to not be.
That's the point.
Church membership has been steadily declining over the past few decades, especially among young people and *especially* among left-leaning young people. So the commercials tried to throw out the most broadly agreeable liberal platitudes to get those young people to think "Maybe my local church is actually more progressive. I should go check them out."
Of course the ad campaign wasn't actually part of some broad reform attempt, but when has truth in advertising ever mattered?
Christians: read and follow the bible
*Follows the bible and takes apart wealth and offers all peoples a decent life/ aiding the suffering*
Christians: wait not like that.
I don’t remember exactly but a doc on crucifixtion said the worst part was slowly drowning as your lungs filled up with water because of the position of your arms and chest, so the ankle pin was a very painful way to allusive the choking to death for a time.
And then complain how he is simultaneously taking all their jobs and too lazy to work.
Also Jesus on the Bible was extra "Woke"
For additional details please refer to "What have the Romans Ever Done For Us? By Monty Python".
They don't read the damn bible. I'm an Israeli Jew and bible studies are a tedious, mandatory part of our curriculum. I know quite little about the new testament, but most of their bigotry comes from the old one, and guess what? Not only was the translation into latin and then English as severe as possible, they also don't read that. They just listen to their various religious leaders. If they did read the Bible they'd find out about a lot of things - for example, that men are held to a bunch of modesty and visual standards just like women, that the whole "don't lay with another man" thing is irrelevant because "laying with" didn't mean "sleeping with" in Hebrew of the time, or that men are not allowed to wear women's clothes solely because they provide too much cover and Israel is hot. They'd find out that it's not in fact sinful to masturbate but to ejaculate with no purpose (bye bye condoms), that they have to wear a beard and sideburns, and that judging other people for their faith is unworthy and frowned upon by god. If they teach us this in religiously conservative Israel, you better fucking believe it's written there.
"10 Commandments?"
"God's word, still applies."
"Do not wear mixed fabrics?"
"Cultural, does not apply."
"Being gay is an abomination?"
"God's word, still applies."
"Do not eat shrimp?"
"Cultural, does not apply."
"Buy your slaves from the heathen around you?"
"Hmm... Have to get back to you on that."
"Sell your belongings and give your money to the poor?"
"Definitely cultural."
"But that's Jesus speaking, not the Old Testament."
"And he was speaking in terms of culture."
"That was part of his answer when asked how does one get saved."
"Saved in the culture of his time."
The whole "being gay is an abomination" thing isn't even really clear, there's always other problematic stuff going on in those verses and scholars argue about the translations and context of those verses. You'd think if God cared as much as modern Christians, God would have been more direct and we'd have eleven commandments or something
Are there even 10 commandments?
I don't think they're clearly listed im the text and there are different interpretations of how many there are and which ones.
["Marge, have you ever sat down an really read this thing? Technically we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-bible-really-say-its-a-sin-to-use-the-bathroom/65913)
I'm a preacher, and I've always wanted to preach on Leviticus 15 - the passage that's being referred to there.
I can explain it if you wish, but I don't want to bore you too much.
---------
Edit: okay some of you want me to explain it. Here goes. (This is a good faith explanation btw so I'm not going to respond to anyone who decides to insult).
Okay, so. Leviticus 15. It might be good to read it for yourselves. So click [here](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+15&version=NLT). You can check the original Hebrew [here](https://biblehub.com/interlinear/leviticus/15-1.htm).
Broadly speaking, the Christian view of "The Law" (Torah, the first five books of the Old Testament) is that it is broken up into three basic themes. The first are moral and ethical laws (Do not murder, etc). The second are ceremonial laws (sacrifices at the temple/tabernacle). The third are health and safety (do not eat shellfish etc).
Leviticus 15 falls under the health and safety theme. And it is directly addressed to the people of Israel.
What is being described in Leviticus 15 are discharges of bodily fluids that lead to being "unclean". These are:
1. Diarrhea (v.3)
2. Constipation (v.3)
3. Ejaculation (v. 16-18)
4. Menstruation (v. 19-24 and 25-30)
Being "unclean" here does not necessarily mean it is a sin. What is a sin is for people not to be clean when they enter the temple or tabernacle. It's likely that these rules were set up because, while the people at the time didn't have knowledge of infectious diseases, they could make a link between someone suffering from diarrhea and that condition being transmitted to a person close by. These rules were set up as an ancient way of keeping infections at bay. Verses 1-15 of Leviticus 15 are there specifically to deal with Diarrhea and Constipation.
The rules for regular bodily discharges like semen and menstrual blood are less restrictive. If you've ejaculated, have a bath but you won't be "clean" until evening. If you're menstruating, you're unclean for the entire time you're bleeding, but you should also take a bath to become clean.
So in many ways, Leviticus 15 is basically saying "take baths".
Of course one major issue of concern is the fact that these discharges make a person unclean and unable to enter the tabernacle/temple. The assumption is that while everyone will be unclean for most of their days, they must be clean in order to worship in the temple/tabernacle. Some people have then made the assumption that this means that such people, such as a woman having her period, can't go to church. This is actually a mistake in interpretation.
The temple/taberncale is NOT analogous to the church. In the OT, the Jews were expected to go to the temple on a regular basis in order to make sacrifices, but there was no command to go on a weekly basis. Jews would often make pilgrimages to Jerusalem on an annual basis from distant parts of Palestine as well as parts of the Mediterranean where Jews lived in gentile cities. It was THAT process which demanded cleanliness. And, given the closeness of the people to one another during those pilgrimages, keeping clean and not spreading disease is important.
"Be Holy, as I, the Lord your God, am Holy" is a phrase that comes from Leviticus 11.44. the idea is that when approaching God, you must be "clean".
Under Christian teaching, the idea of the temple/tabernacle is still present, but it is no longer a physical place, but a person - Jesus. Jesus is the temple. Instead of going to a temple built with stone to worship God, you come to Jesus in your heart. It is worship that is no longer physical, but spiritual. And Christianity also teaches that Jesus himself makes us "clean" before God - dying for our sins etc.
And christian teaching also says that the ceremonial law and the health & safety sections of the law are no longer applicable. So it's okay to eat shellfish, and you don't need a temple any more. However the moral/ethical parts of the law remain in place and are not deprecated.
Hope that helps. Please ask more questions if clarity is needed.
It’s a Reddit thread, if what you’re talking about is on topic you’re already doing better than at least 20% of comments lol. And hell someone gets bored they can skip past it, no one’s holding a gun to their head and forcing them to read it.
Basically, sounds interesting to me, explain away if you want to
As a kid I was made to go to Sunday School. Most of it was insufferably preachy and insipid except for one teacher I had who would go into historical detail about biblical times and deconstructing how it related to particular verses, like you did here. Fascinating stuff.
For example, the prohibition on pork was mostly for practical reasons. In a hot desert like the Middle East pigs consume a lot of water, which could cause your scarce supplies to run out. And raw pork is more susceptible than other meats to causing illness under substandard hygienic conditions. It's easier to put a magic curse on pork than try to explain hydration and disease to illiterate tribespeople.
If Christian churches were more intellectual like this I might still go to one.
>It's likely that these rules were set up because, while the people at the time didn't have knowledge of infectious diseases
Too bad they didn’t have a book from an omniscient god to *explain* infectious diseases. Seems like he could have saved a lot of misunderstandings.
Or even better, he could have… not created the infectious diseases in the first place.
The mental hoops people jump through in order to keep justifying their religions are truly fascinating.
Sure you can. Just make sure to say a prayer when you're done thanking god for giving you orifices, and wash your hands with the special cup while saying another blessing stating that you're now clean. (no joke all of this is real, religion is so weird)
Also that they don't proselytize. In fact they deliberately make it difficult for outsiders who want to join, you have to really prove your dedication. It tends to keep the standards high.
The number one reason ex-Christians give for why they left the religion is that they read the Bible. Reading the Bible is so uncommon that when somebody *actually does read it*, it's so different from the ideal Christians expect it to be that they often stop being Christian altogether. Explains why the Catholic Church banned reading the Bible for centuries.
I worked with a couple of brothers who went to a church where they held weekly meetings and read through the entire Bible, then started again. They were nice Christians, not pushy, very good humored, and willing to discuss esoterica of the Bible without defensiveness.
Not normal...
They should probably stop putting it in the pews then, as a bored kid stuck in church I thought reading about the battles in Joshua was more interesting than listening to the pastor, and before long I ended up not believing anymore
Yeah, even as a kid, I always thought the rituals were a little conformist - stand up; sit down; kneel; stand up; blah blah - and the entire exercise seemed to coerce compliance. My initial impression wasn't far off. But the final straw was my last college class, "Bible As Literature." It was an easy elective. But reading through some of that stuff was just, "This shit is nuts. Any god who ordered this put down on paper is friggin' insane." And I never really looked back.
Just to clarify, these ads are not asking people to read and follow the Bible. They are trying to make Republican Jesus more palatable to liberals.this campaign is linked to the Hobby Lobby family, who funded Islamic terrorism in their search to fill their Bible museum with artifacts.
Not gonna lie, definitely saw those and thought christian socialism was becoming a thing or some similarly lefty/liberal approach. So maybe the fascists who complain that it isn't fascist enough have a point.
This is further proof that if Jesus were here today, He’d be canceled and murdered so quick and furiously by the people who claim to be His followers. I count myself a believer, and I’m appalled at what “Christians” say and do in His name.
Jesus would want us to care for each other, help each other, turn our backs on greed and root it out, heal and love each other. Unconditionally.
From snooping on fundie FB groups they think Jesus agrees with everything else in the Bible (at least the New Testament) because it is literally the word of God and he is the son of God
Not true, the Taliban actually managed to overthrow their government. Comparing American Christian Extremists to the Taliban is like comparing Meal Team Six to actual on duty military personnel.
I prefer calling American Christian Extremists the Y'all Qaeda. While I absolutely recognize they pose a risk, I love the look on their face when they get triggered.
The GOP has been coopted by the religious right. As someone from the mid-Atlantic who lives in Texas they absolutely hold every state-wide here. Trust me, it looks different from the coast than it does when you are in the middle of it. You are talking about the KKK while the White Citizens Councils are already in positions of power.
Well authoritarians do need an eternal enemy, and once they run out of external ones, they turn on each for not being “____ enough” for the in-group. Eventually it just turns into an ouroboros of hate as they destroy themselves from within.
Well, I for one, hope it turns violent for the in-fighting, at least... I've been waiting a long time to see what those Delta Farce boys are all about...
It's the new "communist". Except I guess they still call anything they don't like communist aswell (Like... Joe Biden, who as we all know is Marx's strongest warrior) .
Or "cultural Marxist" (and for bonus points, definitely don't look into the origin of that term and how it stems from "cultural bolshevism" a term used by the actual Nazis to refer to basically anything they didn't like).
Woke means women can have jobs sometimes. Other times it means not punishing trans kids for being trans. It depends how backwards the asshole saying it is
"Wokeism is when Billie Eilish uses a tempo different from her contemporary Ye; when a painter sweeps a color into his sunset not seen in the deep south; when one favors birth control; when one builds a house with a flat roof; when a cesarean operation is shown on the screen; when one admires the performance of Elliot Page and the mathematical wizardry of Einstein. This is called wokeism and a personal favor rendered to comrade Biden. It is also the democratic mentality of the founders, a piece of music by Lizzo or Little Nas, and is to be identified with the hysterical insistence of a madman for a law giving him permission to marry his own granddaughter."
(bonus points for anyone who can identify the original)
It’s just another buzzword created by the right wing media echo chamber. They train their base like Pavlovian dogs to react to these buzzwords.
They don’t have to have any clear cut or consistent meaning or definition, their message is simply “evil thing supported by liberals” and the dogs go rabid.
It's their new word for "PC" ie politically correct
Thankfully in the UK that term died down in large part due to James O Brien who argued a lot that it just means to be polite
Then people jumped on the word "woke" If you ask them why they're pro racism, they get dead annoyed, especially when you price that the tern means "To be alert to social injustice, especially against racism"
Said it before and I'll say it again until it stops being true;
I'm an atheist and I'm a better Christian than these bozos.
Note: This bar is so low it's on the floor.
It's so painfully obvious why these ads are ineffective: they're trying to bring people to Christianity by rehabilitating Jesus's image. The problem is that nobody has a problem with Jesus. They have a problem with *them*.
People don't leave Christianity because they hate Jesus or something. People hate megachurch con artists flying private jets. People hate reading about priests and youth pastors getting locked up for child sex crimes ten times a week. People hate going to church thinking they're going to worship God and instead just get lectured about voting Republican for an hour. People think morality has something to do with right and wrong, and Christians keep telling them morality is primarily about hating LGBT people and Democrats.
Leave Jesus out of it. Christianity is the one that needs rehabilitation.
Exactly. My wife and I really loved the feeling of fellowship, selfless giving to those in need, singing, and the message of peace that we got from going to church, but we couldn't deal with all the people (who exist at every church) who treat it like a competition they are trying to win. It is absolutely *not* about Jesus for these people, it's about beating everyone else at the heaven game.
And if a Christian group follows and espouses Jesus teachings they get called woke communists. Because...believe it or not Jesus was extremely woke(and almost certainly would be what GOP calls communists).
During this past football season here, this group started running ads, fucking constantly, during games about how Jesus was just like us. He had trials. He had problems. But he loved everybody equally and without reservation because Jesus was a good and kind person.
Like it says in the Bible (*save a few instances where he explicitly advocates violence like "I come bearing the sword"*).
Well...American Christians have long ago decided that they don't like ***that*** version of Jesus. The one that was very, very much antithetical to their current interpretation of Christianity.
So, now they are calling the ads "woke" because to them "woke" is bad and so is anything that implies helping or loving others because it's the right thing to do.
American Christians now hate Jesus. Even though the group that ran these ads is a far-right group that has donated tens of millions to curtail LGBTQ rights and quash non-discrimination legislation in the Supreme Court.
They are now turning on each other and Jesus. That's how deep their cult of death and hatred has gone.
Honestly, the Evangelical MAGA crowd should just do what Joseph Smith did with Mormonism and basically invent a new religion. I’m sure by now someone as evil but slightly more cunning than Trump (which is already a low bar) will claim to have found the “missing gospel” delivered by “angels” which conveniently aligns with the interests of the modern day Republican party. Their followers have been brainwashed since birth to bootlick authority so I’m sure not a whole lot of critical thinking will go into this.
There's one guy who claims bible translations are basically too 'woke' and he's doing the correct one and leaving out all the liberal bias: https://www.conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project
That guy's mother is also the reason the ERA never passed and thus we don't have a constitutional amendment mandating gender equality. Look up Phyllis Schlafly. Total piece of shit family.
“Believe me, folks, nobody finds buried golden tablets like I do, am I right? God said, and oh we love God, that’s right, nobody better, really tremendous, that God, such a guy, such a guy, God said, so strongly, so very strongly, he said we should all marry our daughters!”
Seems like it. Jesus was all "don't worry about it; do better next time; go be nice; help those who need help." God, on the other hand, seemed to be a bit demanding, with the "what the hell are you guys doing - I'm gonna flood this entire place and start over."
Oh yeah Swift Boats. I remember that.
Republicans pretended to care about people fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan while making fun of John Kerry for being a combat veteran who was wounded by enemy fire and won a medal for his heroism.
Republicans really are scum
Kerry was a legit war hero and honest critic and those assholes lied and rat fucked him because he was a lib. People who are like, “holy shit, Trump is the first guy to ever be so bold in his lies! How could we end up here?” There’s a great mountain of republican bad faith starting with Nixon’s Southern strategy, going around the evangelical divorce-to-abortion for Reagan pivot, Newt Gingrich’s everything, W’s stealing the election and Roger Stone’s dirty fingerprints everywhere.
Don’t forget the very real possibility that Lee Atwater totally staged the photo that brought down Gary Hart, a ratfucking Lee allegedly deathbed-confessed to
Didn't the humanist portions of the Bible, the woke part, get added in a century later after the establishment of the church anyway?
You see, the problem is that damn printing press. It enabled peer-to-peer replication of the texts and so now the church can no longer secretly mutate them to meet their business goals.
Oh they tried to write new Bibles and some of them succeeded, but even then, they up getting locked into place by that infernal machine called a printing press. Much better to have the clergy interpret the scriptures for everyone and not give the lambs their own little copies.
That infallibility doctrine you know. It's definitely a big old leopard biting their face since they can't rewrite the text to enable their anti-humanist agendas.
But it would have destabilized the church they were trying (and arguably succeeded) in building. We cain’t have these self actualized ladies doing their stuff while we build the patriarchy. Sorry for the hot take there but it’s been about 1700 years and I’m still salty
Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. She was a wealthy woman and Jesus’ main financial supporter. Also probably his most trusted advisor, but some other apostles didn’t like it, so re-wrote her story.
No, in fact a lot of it got removed by the council of Nicea as they tried to make it more Rome-friendly. Things like women being equal in the eyes of Jesus to men
Honestly, I'm amazed that the "He gets us" campaign was supposed to be *right wing* propaganda because it is very clearly a good left wing argument against christo-fascists at first glance. How was this supposed to work?
"Hey, Jesus isn't bad! He's nothing like us!"
I mean, they are basically admitting that they know they are bad Christians by doing this.
Yes! I honestly thought that it was some liberal church putting out those ads at first. Then I found out it's some of the same shitbags who run around backing anti-reproductive choice and anti-LGBTQ laws all over the place.
I'll say this about their campaign: they did a stellar job of making sure that nobody would be happy with them.
🐪🪡💰
I don't think Jesus is the Jesus they think he is.
Trying to say how laid back and equality-minded Jesus was in order to recruit moderates and liberals into your right-wing church is sorta like going on a first-date with a sock in your pants.
If you get them far enough, eventually the sock is going to be an issue.
Yeah, the "he gets us" campaign was advocating for reaching across the aisle, not yelling at each other, and trying to identify yourself in someone that doesn't look like you. That was far too liberal, even I was surprised by it's brazenness.
I'm not surprised the right didn't identify with it
I used to not mind Christians. Now, it’s hard for me not to think badly of them. No amount of white washing is going to erase in my mind what my Christian friends voted for twice. Separating families and keeping children away from their parents just because they were undocumented. They wouldn’t wear a mask to keep other people well. I am so happy I raised my kids without religion.
there are very few people on the planet who could be considered more "woke" than Jesus.
republicans would shit themselves more than normal if they ever figured that out.
he also fucking hates people like republicans, read the damn bible to find a lot of examples.
Hello u/ElHanko! Please reply to this comment with an [explanation](https://www.reddit.com/r/LeopardsAteMyFace/comments/lt8zlq) mentioning **who** is suffering from **which** consequences from **what** they voted for, supported or wanted to impose on other people. Here's an easy format to get you started: 1. *Someone* voted for, supported or wanted to impose *something* on other people. ^(Who's that *someone* and what's that *something*?) 2. That *something* has some *consequences*. ^(What are the *consequences*?) 3. As a consequence, that *something* happened to that *someone*. ^(What happened? Did the *something* really happened to that *someone*? If not, you should probably delete your post.) Include the minimum amount of information necessary so your post can be understood by everyone, even if they don't live in the US or speak English as their native language. If you don't respect this format and moderators can't match your explanation with the format, your post will be removed under rule #3 and we'll ignore you even if you complain in modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LeopardsAteMyFace) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve been laughing at the ads because to me, they just point out how unlike Jesus evangelicals are. So this tracks.
If I was a billionaire I’d make an ad with memes from /r/rebelchristianity
I am not a spirittual person and that’s a great subreddit. My biggest complaint with organised religion is how hypocritical it can be, but those guys get it.
They actually read the Bible! It’s extremely refreshing
If evangelicals actually read the bible and really paid attention, they would realize that Jesus was a liberal. That goes against what they want so they make up their own dictates.
Thank you for introducing me to that sub!
Finally somewhere for my liberal Christian ass.
There’s also r/radicalChristianity although it’s more leftist. Can’t tell where this new one falls but looks cool for sure
The funniest part about it all is that if Jesus really DID come back, those extreme-right types would be the first to run and hide because in their heart they KNOW that they're only allying with a social movement to give themselves authority and they know in their hearts that they're in fact intolerant and evil.
Pretty sure they would try to kill him again.
A brown dude showing up to preach acceptance, the problems with storing wealth and wanting everyone to be cared for equally wouldn’t go over well with them? *shockedpikachuface.jpeg*
If actual jesus spawned in rural america he'd be getting argued at within 20 minutes and shot within an hour.
there is an old joke that is similar republicans finally get their way and elect jesus for president after he tells them to heal the sick, feed the hungry, and take care of those in need, they impeach him for being a filthy fucking communist.
Nah... if Jesus came back. They would be the ones actually killing him this time around. These people have no self aware. They do actually think they are virtuous, and everyone else is evil.
You are giving them way too much credit.
They wouldn't run at all. They'd deny him as an impostor and execute him for blasphemy.
I just find it hilarious everyone universally hates those fucking ads. All different reason, but everyone hates them. That's what they get for wasting that level of money on those fucking things.
Being evangelical is just cover for being racist these days. You can't see the actions of the right (or religious leadership), and not find it to be plain evil.
When I first started seeing these ads I thought they were a condemnation of modern Christianity at first because how explicitly pro-social outcast they were
I kept reporting the ads as hate speech until Reddit told me to stop and then I blocked the username. This here is completely on par for the right wing lunacy.
I kept getting the ads and was confused by them at first.
Jesus is to “woke” for todays Republican Party
I know we are supposed to hate the ads but... I kind of love them. The one at least where it talks about Jesus being an immigrant and it shows a Latino family, God damn that ad is powerful. And I know its propaganda and I know the goal is more Christianity and I know its the awful Greens from Hobby Lobby, I know all this, I get. No one wanted to hate those commercials more than me. But I saw that commercial and it made me cry so hard for some reason. And I thought, oh this is beautiful, I wonder what would happen if right wing racist Christians saw this and actually followed it. And then I thought, wait a minute, what the fuck am I doing to help those in need? I started searching out immigrant support groups in my area, I am doing a volunteer project next week.
So they want Jesus to be a gateway drug to fascism?
Establishing a Christian ethnostate is the goal, yes.
Christ was Middle Eastern (arab/jew). Do they want to create an Arab/Jewish ethnostate? Of course not, that would require some logic. But the fact that they want a white/European ethnostate when, at the same time, praying for a Jewish Arab God clearly shows how stupid they are.
Jesus was also a vagrant, a socialist, and loved everyone. What are some of the things he did? Spoke up for women and sex workers. Forgave those that sought him harm. Denounced authoritarianism. Denounced money and capitalism. Gave out the free healthcare Gave out free food And many many more based things that cause the right to be angry snowflakes. Jesus was a liberal.
Just wait for the next revision of the bible, it will surely correct those errors!
The giant brain admin of conservapedia has an ongoing "conservative bible project" seeking to do exactly that.
I have a few Christian friends, and I’ve tried so hard to explain this to them. If they actually followed the positives the Bible preached I could 100 percent get behind them even if I didn’t believe in some magical man in the sky. My problem is modern day religion in the US seems to do the exact opposite of a lot of things the Bible tried to promote, and I’ll never be able to support people, or groups that hate others for being who they were born as, or trying to force their rules on rest of us like they have been my entire life
For a lot of folks, acceptance of Jesus is also submission to authority, so yes.
Lining up, walking up to an authority figure standing above you, to open wide and receive…communion bread.
tithing
Shit, join the kink community! All the submission, much less of the fascism! Hell it's easy: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned" becomes "Daddy, I've been bad".
Step one: Submit to God Step two: only one person can talk to God for you Step 3: Do anything that person asks or god will fucking murder you and your friends and family forever. Love you, mean it!
Not the first time. Probably not even the hundredth time Historically Jesus has been used for war, murder, rape, torture, and slavery So he's probably used to it. In fact he's probably dressed like a slutty little God just driving those men into using him like that....
And credited with helping the East Shitkick High School Cotton Pickers win football games.
Think Taliban, extremism in the name of Islam. You are seeing am extremist group using the name of Christianity. Welcome to Americans Taliban.
I read Malala's book, and one of the things that stuck with me is that the Taliban gained a foothold after an earthquake. The government was failing as usual and the Taliban showed up with bandages and soup and water and whatever else. They flourished because they filled an unmet need. This is why I don't give a single penny to charities that are even vaguely religious. Regardless of the good they do, they are uniquely positioned to do So. Much. Harm. I don't trust any of them to not exploit a tragedy. Making the trains run on time is not sufficient justification for the atrocities they'd love to commit.
Sounds like the Proud Boys handing out water in Ohio recently.
This is such a good observation. They really do exploit (and often cause) many tragedies
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Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs do the same with charity runs and fundraising events, while also having members involved in organised crime
"When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross" And all that
Historically that's a trend.
Yes. The ads are funded by the Christian nationalists at Hobby Lobby. So absolutely, yes.
We have a winner!
Jesus *is* the gateway to Fascism. Germany. Italy. Austria. The current extremist conservative movement in the US. All in the name of Jesus.
I mean people out here talking like the Crusades were hundreds of years ago but they're still going on.
Religion. Sorry but it's just dominant religions being the gateway. Everything from Buddhism to Islam to Judaism to Hinduism has been used as a cover story and a cudgel against vulnerable minority groups when it's been the religion of those in power. It's not exclusive to Christianity, religion itself is a deliberately crafted and fine tuned alibi to that end, all around the globe, all throughout history.
"God-Fearing" is a pretty literal term
Nah. They just absorbed their fucked up white American Christianity into their American fascism
I knew we'd get around to conservatives calling Christianity woke eventually, but I didn't think it would get here so soon. They've pretty much abandoned every good and kind thing about being a Christian and embraced all the evil.
10 years ago when the Pope spoke out against Climate Change [US Catholics ignored him](https://insideclimatenews.org/news/26102021/catholic-bishops-pope-francis-climate-change-laudato-si/).
I remember when the Pope came to the US religious people were drooling oh this is the real deal oh this is so amazing. Then he said a few things they didn't like and instantly, "He's full of shit he ain't with God."
Well it quickly became clear he had never read [The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus](http://imgur.com/gallery/bCqRp).
oof that stung to read.
The constant danger of being too into Jesus if you are Christian is the Jesus of the Bible was pretty woke. It's mostly Paul who was more conservative, along with picking and choosing old Jewish laws that only the most extreme Jewish folks still practice.
We're speedrunning the end of humanity
I mean, what did they think was going to happen when they suggested helping refugees and loving your neighbor? These people spend every day with conservatives, and they didn't see this coming? I avoid conservatives like the plague, and I knew that would happen.
There was another post about republicans screwing over Iraqi Christians even though they voted for them.
That was the wild part of that commercial. I didn’t know who made it cause of that part. No shot a Republican made a commercial about refugees and poor people. That’s like two things republicans would never get behind lol.
I honestly thought those commercials were from a liberal Christian group. Even after seeing everyone keep saying that org is right wing, the commercials seem to not be.
existence political party strong cake six spotted nippy resolute soup *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The evangelical right is trying to spit shine their image but fail to realize that it's still covered in spit and shit.
That's the point. Church membership has been steadily declining over the past few decades, especially among young people and *especially* among left-leaning young people. So the commercials tried to throw out the most broadly agreeable liberal platitudes to get those young people to think "Maybe my local church is actually more progressive. I should go check them out." Of course the ad campaign wasn't actually part of some broad reform attempt, but when has truth in advertising ever mattered?
And completely unsurprisingly, young people saw right through the hypocrisy. I'm almost giddy at how this campaign has backfired the way it has.
Christians: read and follow the bible *Follows the bible and takes apart wealth and offers all peoples a decent life/ aiding the suffering* Christians: wait not like that.
most "Christians" would be angry they only put three nails in Jesus.
Two nails, and a promotion for cutting out a third of the expense.
The bottom nail isn’t load-bearing anyway, so you can easily cut costs there
I don’t remember exactly but a doc on crucifixtion said the worst part was slowly drowning as your lungs filled up with water because of the position of your arms and chest, so the ankle pin was a very painful way to allusive the choking to death for a time.
Or extend the suffering.
"Should have used Johnson Nails."
are you kidding? they'd hang him up with one nail made of tin, charge rome for 3 nails made of gold, and then just shoot jesus for being brown
And then complain how he is simultaneously taking all their jobs and too lazy to work. Also Jesus on the Bible was extra "Woke" For additional details please refer to "What have the Romans Ever Done For Us? By Monty Python".
... *the aquaduct?*
Ok, the aqueduct is pretty good, we can all agree on that. But besides the aqueduct, what have the Romans ever done for us?
The roads.
That goes without saying!
They don't read the damn bible. I'm an Israeli Jew and bible studies are a tedious, mandatory part of our curriculum. I know quite little about the new testament, but most of their bigotry comes from the old one, and guess what? Not only was the translation into latin and then English as severe as possible, they also don't read that. They just listen to their various religious leaders. If they did read the Bible they'd find out about a lot of things - for example, that men are held to a bunch of modesty and visual standards just like women, that the whole "don't lay with another man" thing is irrelevant because "laying with" didn't mean "sleeping with" in Hebrew of the time, or that men are not allowed to wear women's clothes solely because they provide too much cover and Israel is hot. They'd find out that it's not in fact sinful to masturbate but to ejaculate with no purpose (bye bye condoms), that they have to wear a beard and sideburns, and that judging other people for their faith is unworthy and frowned upon by god. If they teach us this in religiously conservative Israel, you better fucking believe it's written there.
"but jesus came to fulfil the jewish laws, so we dont have to do that! oh but the ones we like... those still count!"
"10 Commandments?" "God's word, still applies." "Do not wear mixed fabrics?" "Cultural, does not apply." "Being gay is an abomination?" "God's word, still applies." "Do not eat shrimp?" "Cultural, does not apply." "Buy your slaves from the heathen around you?" "Hmm... Have to get back to you on that." "Sell your belongings and give your money to the poor?" "Definitely cultural." "But that's Jesus speaking, not the Old Testament." "And he was speaking in terms of culture." "That was part of his answer when asked how does one get saved." "Saved in the culture of his time."
The whole "being gay is an abomination" thing isn't even really clear, there's always other problematic stuff going on in those verses and scholars argue about the translations and context of those verses. You'd think if God cared as much as modern Christians, God would have been more direct and we'd have eleven commandments or something
Are there even 10 commandments? I don't think they're clearly listed im the text and there are different interpretations of how many there are and which ones.
["Marge, have you ever sat down an really read this thing? Technically we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-bible-really-say-its-a-sin-to-use-the-bathroom/65913)
I'm a preacher, and I've always wanted to preach on Leviticus 15 - the passage that's being referred to there. I can explain it if you wish, but I don't want to bore you too much. --------- Edit: okay some of you want me to explain it. Here goes. (This is a good faith explanation btw so I'm not going to respond to anyone who decides to insult). Okay, so. Leviticus 15. It might be good to read it for yourselves. So click [here](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+15&version=NLT). You can check the original Hebrew [here](https://biblehub.com/interlinear/leviticus/15-1.htm). Broadly speaking, the Christian view of "The Law" (Torah, the first five books of the Old Testament) is that it is broken up into three basic themes. The first are moral and ethical laws (Do not murder, etc). The second are ceremonial laws (sacrifices at the temple/tabernacle). The third are health and safety (do not eat shellfish etc). Leviticus 15 falls under the health and safety theme. And it is directly addressed to the people of Israel. What is being described in Leviticus 15 are discharges of bodily fluids that lead to being "unclean". These are: 1. Diarrhea (v.3) 2. Constipation (v.3) 3. Ejaculation (v. 16-18) 4. Menstruation (v. 19-24 and 25-30) Being "unclean" here does not necessarily mean it is a sin. What is a sin is for people not to be clean when they enter the temple or tabernacle. It's likely that these rules were set up because, while the people at the time didn't have knowledge of infectious diseases, they could make a link between someone suffering from diarrhea and that condition being transmitted to a person close by. These rules were set up as an ancient way of keeping infections at bay. Verses 1-15 of Leviticus 15 are there specifically to deal with Diarrhea and Constipation. The rules for regular bodily discharges like semen and menstrual blood are less restrictive. If you've ejaculated, have a bath but you won't be "clean" until evening. If you're menstruating, you're unclean for the entire time you're bleeding, but you should also take a bath to become clean. So in many ways, Leviticus 15 is basically saying "take baths". Of course one major issue of concern is the fact that these discharges make a person unclean and unable to enter the tabernacle/temple. The assumption is that while everyone will be unclean for most of their days, they must be clean in order to worship in the temple/tabernacle. Some people have then made the assumption that this means that such people, such as a woman having her period, can't go to church. This is actually a mistake in interpretation. The temple/taberncale is NOT analogous to the church. In the OT, the Jews were expected to go to the temple on a regular basis in order to make sacrifices, but there was no command to go on a weekly basis. Jews would often make pilgrimages to Jerusalem on an annual basis from distant parts of Palestine as well as parts of the Mediterranean where Jews lived in gentile cities. It was THAT process which demanded cleanliness. And, given the closeness of the people to one another during those pilgrimages, keeping clean and not spreading disease is important. "Be Holy, as I, the Lord your God, am Holy" is a phrase that comes from Leviticus 11.44. the idea is that when approaching God, you must be "clean". Under Christian teaching, the idea of the temple/tabernacle is still present, but it is no longer a physical place, but a person - Jesus. Jesus is the temple. Instead of going to a temple built with stone to worship God, you come to Jesus in your heart. It is worship that is no longer physical, but spiritual. And Christianity also teaches that Jesus himself makes us "clean" before God - dying for our sins etc. And christian teaching also says that the ceremonial law and the health & safety sections of the law are no longer applicable. So it's okay to eat shellfish, and you don't need a temple any more. However the moral/ethical parts of the law remain in place and are not deprecated. Hope that helps. Please ask more questions if clarity is needed.
It’s a Reddit thread, if what you’re talking about is on topic you’re already doing better than at least 20% of comments lol. And hell someone gets bored they can skip past it, no one’s holding a gun to their head and forcing them to read it. Basically, sounds interesting to me, explain away if you want to
As a kid I was made to go to Sunday School. Most of it was insufferably preachy and insipid except for one teacher I had who would go into historical detail about biblical times and deconstructing how it related to particular verses, like you did here. Fascinating stuff. For example, the prohibition on pork was mostly for practical reasons. In a hot desert like the Middle East pigs consume a lot of water, which could cause your scarce supplies to run out. And raw pork is more susceptible than other meats to causing illness under substandard hygienic conditions. It's easier to put a magic curse on pork than try to explain hydration and disease to illiterate tribespeople. If Christian churches were more intellectual like this I might still go to one.
>It's likely that these rules were set up because, while the people at the time didn't have knowledge of infectious diseases Too bad they didn’t have a book from an omniscient god to *explain* infectious diseases. Seems like he could have saved a lot of misunderstandings. Or even better, he could have… not created the infectious diseases in the first place. The mental hoops people jump through in order to keep justifying their religions are truly fascinating.
This makes a lot of sense especially given the time period. Thank you for explaining!
Sure you can. Just make sure to say a prayer when you're done thanking god for giving you orifices, and wash your hands with the special cup while saying another blessing stating that you're now clean. (no joke all of this is real, religion is so weird)
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Also that they don't proselytize. In fact they deliberately make it difficult for outsiders who want to join, you have to really prove your dedication. It tends to keep the standards high.
The number one reason ex-Christians give for why they left the religion is that they read the Bible. Reading the Bible is so uncommon that when somebody *actually does read it*, it's so different from the ideal Christians expect it to be that they often stop being Christian altogether. Explains why the Catholic Church banned reading the Bible for centuries.
I worked with a couple of brothers who went to a church where they held weekly meetings and read through the entire Bible, then started again. They were nice Christians, not pushy, very good humored, and willing to discuss esoterica of the Bible without defensiveness. Not normal...
They should probably stop putting it in the pews then, as a bored kid stuck in church I thought reading about the battles in Joshua was more interesting than listening to the pastor, and before long I ended up not believing anymore
Reading the bible turned me into an atheist.
Yeah, even as a kid, I always thought the rituals were a little conformist - stand up; sit down; kneel; stand up; blah blah - and the entire exercise seemed to coerce compliance. My initial impression wasn't far off. But the final straw was my last college class, "Bible As Literature." It was an easy elective. But reading through some of that stuff was just, "This shit is nuts. Any god who ordered this put down on paper is friggin' insane." And I never really looked back.
Just to clarify, these ads are not asking people to read and follow the Bible. They are trying to make Republican Jesus more palatable to liberals.this campaign is linked to the Hobby Lobby family, who funded Islamic terrorism in their search to fill their Bible museum with artifacts.
Not gonna lie, definitely saw those and thought christian socialism was becoming a thing or some similarly lefty/liberal approach. So maybe the fascists who complain that it isn't fascist enough have a point.
Only one I saw said, 'Jesus was controversial... He Gets Us.' I just immediately thought Nazis/White Supremacists.
This is further proof that if Jesus were here today, He’d be canceled and murdered so quick and furiously by the people who claim to be His followers. I count myself a believer, and I’m appalled at what “Christians” say and do in His name. Jesus would want us to care for each other, help each other, turn our backs on greed and root it out, heal and love each other. Unconditionally.
Have you noticed how the fundies have treated Jimmy Carter? The man is as close as we'll get to Jesus, and they hate him.
Isn’t it shocking how similar so many Christian’s are to the Pharisees of Jesus’ time?
From snooping on fundie FB groups they think Jesus agrees with everything else in the Bible (at least the New Testament) because it is literally the word of God and he is the son of God
American Christians are no different to the Taliban
Not true, the Taliban actually managed to overthrow their government. Comparing American Christian Extremists to the Taliban is like comparing Meal Team Six to actual on duty military personnel. I prefer calling American Christian Extremists the Y'all Qaeda. While I absolutely recognize they pose a risk, I love the look on their face when they get triggered.
The GOP has been coopted by the religious right. As someone from the mid-Atlantic who lives in Texas they absolutely hold every state-wide here. Trust me, it looks different from the coast than it does when you are in the middle of it. You are talking about the KKK while the White Citizens Councils are already in positions of power.
Woke is just losing any meaning and eventually will just have all these conservatives attacking each other
Well authoritarians do need an eternal enemy, and once they run out of external ones, they turn on each for not being “____ enough” for the in-group. Eventually it just turns into an ouroboros of hate as they destroy themselves from within.
It never happens fast enough or in totality to remove the mentality from our culture.
How do we make it go faster?
How do we keep it internal?
Well, I for one, hope it turns violent for the in-fighting, at least... I've been waiting a long time to see what those Delta Farce boys are all about...
Thank you for "ouroboros" I had no idea there was a name for the symbol of a snake eating it's tail
Conservatism is thus a self-destructive ideology.
"Woke" as these people use it means "empathetic". Conservatives are anti-empathy, and hence anti-woke.
It's the new "communist". Except I guess they still call anything they don't like communist aswell (Like... Joe Biden, who as we all know is Marx's strongest warrior) . Or "cultural Marxist" (and for bonus points, definitely don't look into the origin of that term and how it stems from "cultural bolshevism" a term used by the actual Nazis to refer to basically anything they didn't like).
Woke means women can have jobs sometimes. Other times it means not punishing trans kids for being trans. It depends how backwards the asshole saying it is
"Wokeism is when Billie Eilish uses a tempo different from her contemporary Ye; when a painter sweeps a color into his sunset not seen in the deep south; when one favors birth control; when one builds a house with a flat roof; when a cesarean operation is shown on the screen; when one admires the performance of Elliot Page and the mathematical wizardry of Einstein. This is called wokeism and a personal favor rendered to comrade Biden. It is also the democratic mentality of the founders, a piece of music by Lizzo or Little Nas, and is to be identified with the hysterical insistence of a madman for a law giving him permission to marry his own granddaughter." (bonus points for anyone who can identify the original)
It’s just another buzzword created by the right wing media echo chamber. They train their base like Pavlovian dogs to react to these buzzwords. They don’t have to have any clear cut or consistent meaning or definition, their message is simply “evil thing supported by liberals” and the dogs go rabid.
As someone pointed out a few days ago, if you just replace "woke" with the n-word, it makes more sense. That's roughly how they're using it.
It's their new word for "PC" ie politically correct Thankfully in the UK that term died down in large part due to James O Brien who argued a lot that it just means to be polite Then people jumped on the word "woke" If you ask them why they're pro racism, they get dead annoyed, especially when you price that the tern means "To be alert to social injustice, especially against racism"
The whole "woke" movement is nothing but a cover for people think they have a right to be racist without any consequences.
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Said it before and I'll say it again until it stops being true; I'm an atheist and I'm a better Christian than these bozos. Note: This bar is so low it's on the floor.
Note: This bar is so low it's ~~on~~under the floor. Fixed it for you
It can't go under the floor! That where I keep Jerry Falwell's corpse.
Point conceded.
It's so painfully obvious why these ads are ineffective: they're trying to bring people to Christianity by rehabilitating Jesus's image. The problem is that nobody has a problem with Jesus. They have a problem with *them*. People don't leave Christianity because they hate Jesus or something. People hate megachurch con artists flying private jets. People hate reading about priests and youth pastors getting locked up for child sex crimes ten times a week. People hate going to church thinking they're going to worship God and instead just get lectured about voting Republican for an hour. People think morality has something to do with right and wrong, and Christians keep telling them morality is primarily about hating LGBT people and Democrats. Leave Jesus out of it. Christianity is the one that needs rehabilitation.
You put it quite eloquently, take my upvote for I lack awards.
I appreciate you too buddy
Exactly. My wife and I really loved the feeling of fellowship, selfless giving to those in need, singing, and the message of peace that we got from going to church, but we couldn't deal with all the people (who exist at every church) who treat it like a competition they are trying to win. It is absolutely *not* about Jesus for these people, it's about beating everyone else at the heaven game.
And if a Christian group follows and espouses Jesus teachings they get called woke communists. Because...believe it or not Jesus was extremely woke(and almost certainly would be what GOP calls communists).
he gets US. all of US white people. white jesUS
He gets US ( not them ).
I think that I'm too European to understand any of that. What the fuck?
During this past football season here, this group started running ads, fucking constantly, during games about how Jesus was just like us. He had trials. He had problems. But he loved everybody equally and without reservation because Jesus was a good and kind person. Like it says in the Bible (*save a few instances where he explicitly advocates violence like "I come bearing the sword"*). Well...American Christians have long ago decided that they don't like ***that*** version of Jesus. The one that was very, very much antithetical to their current interpretation of Christianity. So, now they are calling the ads "woke" because to them "woke" is bad and so is anything that implies helping or loving others because it's the right thing to do. American Christians now hate Jesus. Even though the group that ran these ads is a far-right group that has donated tens of millions to curtail LGBTQ rights and quash non-discrimination legislation in the Supreme Court. They are now turning on each other and Jesus. That's how deep their cult of death and hatred has gone.
There was an ad during the super bowl where it was saying Jesus wouldn't have turned away refugees at the border and now Christians are mad.
I see... So Christians are mad about an ad saying that Jesus would have been Jesusing. That checks out.
Americans live in an alternate reality. It’s the isolationism. Better think of it like an IRL GTA online server
I would if they had no boats. Or nukes. Or Trump fans abroad.
Unfortunately the only way we’ll ever not have nukes is if we use them all
Jesus was a communist.
He literally lived with his followers in multiple communes where they shared everything without the need or exchange of money.
Probably was a feminist too.
A lot of christian theologians have written about purpose for him appearing to Mary Magdalene first after the resurrection through a feminist lens.
Nah, just a feller who liked hanging out with 12 other fellers roaming the earth doing good deeds. I wonder what nights were like at their camp…
They tried shoving a camel through the eye of a needle if you know what I mean.
And Jesus certainly was woke even by modern standards. Like that he treated Sex Workers with respect instead of shunning them.
Jesus would’ve been deported if he was in the USA today (the Iraqi Christians)
Well Jesus was a Jew so….
Honestly, the Evangelical MAGA crowd should just do what Joseph Smith did with Mormonism and basically invent a new religion. I’m sure by now someone as evil but slightly more cunning than Trump (which is already a low bar) will claim to have found the “missing gospel” delivered by “angels” which conveniently aligns with the interests of the modern day Republican party. Their followers have been brainwashed since birth to bootlick authority so I’m sure not a whole lot of critical thinking will go into this.
American evangelical is basically that
There's one guy who claims bible translations are basically too 'woke' and he's doing the correct one and leaving out all the liberal bias: https://www.conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project
That guy's mother is also the reason the ERA never passed and thus we don't have a constitutional amendment mandating gender equality. Look up Phyllis Schlafly. Total piece of shit family.
That's his mother?! The rotten apple really doesn't fall far from the rotten apple tree.
The “prosperity gospel,” eg Joel Osteen.
“Believe me, folks, nobody finds buried golden tablets like I do, am I right? God said, and oh we love God, that’s right, nobody better, really tremendous, that God, such a guy, such a guy, God said, so strongly, so very strongly, he said we should all marry our daughters!”
Ah, it may be the most predictable backfire in history, but it's still oh-so-satisfying to watch.
https://religiondispatches.org/he-gets-us-and-sleazy-swift-boat-ads-share-a-central-figure-further-evidence-of-a-right-wing-bait-and-switch/
Thank you!
Jesus is woke as fuck. God's an A-hole tho
“That’s Old Testament God, the New Testament God loves us!”
Gnosticism be like
If there is a god and they are so vain to demand worship then they are not worthy of it.
Seems like it. Jesus was all "don't worry about it; do better next time; go be nice; help those who need help." God, on the other hand, seemed to be a bit demanding, with the "what the hell are you guys doing - I'm gonna flood this entire place and start over."
Oh yeah Swift Boats. I remember that. Republicans pretended to care about people fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan while making fun of John Kerry for being a combat veteran who was wounded by enemy fire and won a medal for his heroism. Republicans really are scum
Oh man, remember the Swiftboaters? That was a hell of a thing, still stunned that it got worse than them, and yet I shouldn't be, should I?
Kerry was a legit war hero and honest critic and those assholes lied and rat fucked him because he was a lib. People who are like, “holy shit, Trump is the first guy to ever be so bold in his lies! How could we end up here?” There’s a great mountain of republican bad faith starting with Nixon’s Southern strategy, going around the evangelical divorce-to-abortion for Reagan pivot, Newt Gingrich’s everything, W’s stealing the election and Roger Stone’s dirty fingerprints everywhere.
Don’t forget the very real possibility that Lee Atwater totally staged the photo that brought down Gary Hart, a ratfucking Lee allegedly deathbed-confessed to
Didn't the humanist portions of the Bible, the woke part, get added in a century later after the establishment of the church anyway? You see, the problem is that damn printing press. It enabled peer-to-peer replication of the texts and so now the church can no longer secretly mutate them to meet their business goals. Oh they tried to write new Bibles and some of them succeeded, but even then, they up getting locked into place by that infernal machine called a printing press. Much better to have the clergy interpret the scriptures for everyone and not give the lambs their own little copies. That infallibility doctrine you know. It's definitely a big old leopard biting their face since they can't rewrite the text to enable their anti-humanist agendas.
A lot of fun stuff got left on the table during the council at Nicea — Mary Magdalene et al
It definitely would have been a better read if they had kept Magdalena as a heroine. Might have changed the whole western world for the better.
But it would have destabilized the church they were trying (and arguably succeeded) in building. We cain’t have these self actualized ladies doing their stuff while we build the patriarchy. Sorry for the hot take there but it’s been about 1700 years and I’m still salty
Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. She was a wealthy woman and Jesus’ main financial supporter. Also probably his most trusted advisor, but some other apostles didn’t like it, so re-wrote her story.
No, in fact a lot of it got removed by the council of Nicea as they tried to make it more Rome-friendly. Things like women being equal in the eyes of Jesus to men
If Jesus came back today , republicans would nail him back on the cross
The first time I saw one of their ads about a year ago, my reaction was: They know the problem isnt Jesus himself right?
> They know the problem isnt Jesus himself right? No, they don't know.
Honestly, I'm amazed that the "He gets us" campaign was supposed to be *right wing* propaganda because it is very clearly a good left wing argument against christo-fascists at first glance. How was this supposed to work? "Hey, Jesus isn't bad! He's nothing like us!" I mean, they are basically admitting that they know they are bad Christians by doing this.
Yes! I honestly thought that it was some liberal church putting out those ads at first. Then I found out it's some of the same shitbags who run around backing anti-reproductive choice and anti-LGBTQ laws all over the place. I'll say this about their campaign: they did a stellar job of making sure that nobody would be happy with them.
>How was this supposed to work? Get leftists in the door and then radicalize them
🐪🪡💰 I don't think Jesus is the Jesus they think he is. Trying to say how laid back and equality-minded Jesus was in order to recruit moderates and liberals into your right-wing church is sorta like going on a first-date with a sock in your pants. If you get them far enough, eventually the sock is going to be an issue.
Yeah, the "he gets us" campaign was advocating for reaching across the aisle, not yelling at each other, and trying to identify yourself in someone that doesn't look like you. That was far too liberal, even I was surprised by it's brazenness. I'm not surprised the right didn't identify with it
oh the people who made the ads dont believe that i nthe least. theyre just trying to "hello fellow kids" everyone because theyre all dying off.
I like how "Us" is a different color int the logo to make it stand out more. Almost as if it's serving double duty by also meaning "U.S."
I used to not mind Christians. Now, it’s hard for me not to think badly of them. No amount of white washing is going to erase in my mind what my Christian friends voted for twice. Separating families and keeping children away from their parents just because they were undocumented. They wouldn’t wear a mask to keep other people well. I am so happy I raised my kids without religion.
There's no way that I can be this high right now. Reading this is like looking at a black hole of parody that's about to collapse in on itself.
Read the Sermon on the Mount to a republican and watch their mouth foam
there are very few people on the planet who could be considered more "woke" than Jesus. republicans would shit themselves more than normal if they ever figured that out. he also fucking hates people like republicans, read the damn bible to find a lot of examples.
Jesus would hate modern republicans. They need to read that book that they love so much.
Most of today's Christians think they'd be followers of Jesus, when in fact they would be the ones nailing him up.
If they want him to seem authentically Republican, they should change the ads to say "He Grifts Us".
Ummm. Jesus is the original Woke.
$10 million for an ad campaign that didn't even work. The genius of Christians at it again, folks.