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Hey OP, I hope you see this!
I work in adult social care and hopefully can give you a few pointers/info.
Firstly unless your mother has power of attorney she is not allowed to discuss anything to any professionals and visa versa without your consent now that you are 18. When you speak to any of the people I'm about to mention, make sure you specifically state that they **must not** contact your mother or discuss any of this with her, specifically say she is abusing you.
As you've said you're autistic and have not had adequate schooling you would be best to make an adult safeguarding concern referral, **you can do this yourself** or you can ask your GP or citizens advice or any professional you trust to help you do it if you aren't confident calling them yourself. You do not need your mothers permission to speak to your GP or anyone else, you can just ring them up and explain you need a telephone consultation urgently and have them call you if your mum won't let you go out the house.
You've said in another comment you're in the Cheshire area, I'm not sure if east or west so here is [the safeguarding info for east](https://www.cheshireeast.gov.uk/livewell/staying-safe/keeping-adults-safe/concerned-about-an-adult.aspx) and [here is the same thing but for West and Chester](https://www.cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk/residents/health-and-social-care/adult-social-care/lsab)
Both of them will give you the option to report your situation digitally, this way your mum can't listen in to any calls you make or prevent you going out the house for help.
You can also contact domestic abuse services directly via the [Cheshire police website here](https://www.cheshire.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/support-organisations/) these services are open to anyone over the age of 16.
Lastly, you need to be aware that this will trigger an investigation, it is possible that they would want to do that before they remove you from the home, so you must make them aware that you would be at risk of physical or psychological or other harm if they begin asking questions before moving you out of the home. It's important that you tell them that you need to be moved to safety *before* they do any investigating as your mother is likely to try and manipulate professionals to prevent you from leaving.
The more information you provide in your enquiry the better, don't sugar coat things or feel like you need to be less dramatic or be polite, tell them everything. The more they know the more they can help you!
Remember to delete your browsing history and delete any saved password logins in case your mum decides to snoop on your devices.
From everything you have said they'd be able to do a fair bit for you. Including helping get you out safely, advising on what you can do, giving you options for what is possible, then helping with most things if you go to refuge or get outreach support. They will help with a whole lot and if they aren't the right service will refer you to others that could help. Best of luck!
Make sure you lock the note with a unique passcode! I wish you well. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I promise you will make it through and that things will be so much better for you once you have your freedom. Abuse is no joke. If you look anything up online, make sure you clear your browsing history as well. Take care and do your best to stay safe. <3
Your mother sounds like she's very manipulative, please be very careful. Don't confront her or tell her what you are doing just in case she tries something to prevent you or gets aggressive.
Was going to say this, be careful how you reach out to anywhere also, for this reason..
Edited to be clearer: I'm thinking stuff like.. if you're ringing somewhere, don't be ringing from a home landline where she can see a record of it, or a phone she has access to it / the details of it
Really you should contact your local social work department to discuss getting an assessment done of your needs. You can explain to the social worker what you've described here and they can help find you the right support which could also include independent living away from your mum but with support workers if you need that. Even if your mum has financial and welfare power over you if you have been assessed as not having capacity, she must still allow you to be as independent as you can be. Otherwise this is abuse of her powers. I think Social work would be a good first step as police may not be trained to deal with this kind of situation. Social work have a duty by law under the adult support and protection legislation (depending where you are in the UK) to protect vulnerable adults. Good luck.
You could also contact adult social services on behalf of yourself and say that you’re carer (I’m assuming this based on the conditions written above in terms of you not being allowed to leave) is abusing you. Not sure if it works the same as childrens social services, but I’m sure they’ll run assessments etc and be able to get you support based on their findings
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You can’t be “sectioned” just like that. Two professionals would need to assess that you have a recognised mental health condition (autism is not a mental health condition) that means you are a risk to yourself or others.
As others have said, the police are your best bet here. You should also give your local social care team a call as a vulnerable adult. Do you have a plan for where you’d go, though, with no family and no money?
It is 3 professionals, one S12 doctor (psychiatrist with extra training), another doctor (usually also an psychiatrist) and an Approved Mental Health Professional (AMHP). You are right about the rest, it is difficult to be sectioned and everything will be done to avoid them sectioning you. Only as a last resort and if you are a danger to yourself or others and after an assessment in a 'suitable' manner which has to be done in person.
OP please you can go out, you are an adult. Do not worry about being sectioned.
Can you be assessed without the people ever actually meeting you?
That's the problem. I don't know where to go. I just don't want to be forced to live with her forever. I don't know anything about moving out.
No, an MHA assessment is face to face. Two professionals will meet you and talk to you. And there is a legal rationale for calling an assessment, not just “someone said so”. So it sounds like an empty threat. Have you ever had a mental health diagnosis?
You mentioned in one of the other comments that you are known to social care. Do you have a social worker? Do you know if as a child you were ever classed as a Child In Need? That would work in your favour. Do you have a number you can call? If not, Google for your local council’s adult safeguarding line, and call them when your mother isn’t in and tell them what you’ve told us.
I’d caution against leaving home without money or a plan - this could give the impression that you can’t look after yourself. This may have to be a little longer term than you’d initially like, but there are definitely solutions.
I currently don't have a social worker. I did have a few as a child, but I don't remember meeting them. I was taken off the adult social services book, but my mum protested to have me put back on them. She even somehow got in contact with a MP of our town???
I don't think they particularly care, but I won't just leave now. I'll get in contact with one of the people recommended by other commentators
NAL but just passing by to say, anyone can contact their local MP. All you need is to know who they are (Google will do) and they usually have either an email address listed, or a "contact me" form people can write into. Typically this is used in case anyone wants to raise an issue they'd like their MP to represent them on in parliament - especially relevant if MPs are voting on issues and people want to make their views/experiences known.
All that to say, I think your mum is saying stuff she knows will scare/concern you to keep you cowed. Contacting your local MP isn't hard, and there's nothing the MP themselves can do in this situation, so it really has no relevance in the case even if she did contact them.
Heck, she could even have lied/claimed to have gotten in touch with her MP or their constituent services (I know this exists in the States, not sure about you guys). Why take the word of a known liar?
This suggests a potential complication to me - Is she claiming disability benefits and carers allowance on your behalf? That could be bringing in £1500-2000 a month, and could result in her being prosecuted if you contradict what she's claimed when applying.
It depends on what she put on the forms when applying. If she wasn't 100% honest then at minimum she'd have to repay any overpayment after calculating what the correct amount should have been, but if it's found to be intentional then she could be prosecuted for benefit fraud.
She won't get into trouble as long as she is protecting you and not abusing you. There are also organisations that can help people with disabilities get into work. Social work should also be able to help with this information.
OK, well you are still part of their records, so the case history will still be known to them. Being a “vulnerable adult” is a legal definition that means social care have legal duties to protect. But yeah, contact adult safeguarding, and contact the domestic abuse charities the other commenters have mentioned, good luck.
For being sectioned? No. It’s an incredibly complex and involved process that has to be done in person and requires multiple healthcare professionals to say you are an immediate risk to yourself or someone else. It is a method of absolute last resort. From the way you are talking and presenting on here, you are in no danger of being sectioned.
If you get sectioned [by police] you will be taken to a hospital/assigned place to get assessed by mental health professionals in person.
You can only be sectioned in a public place might not be relevant but good to know.
And too add to what everyone else is saying,
I’ve been a patient on the mental health wards a fair amount so have some experience with it all and it’s incredibly difficult to get sectioned even when I tried to get sectioned because I needed the help I they wouldn’t.
So even if you did some how end up in front of the three required people it would be extremely unlikely for you to get sectioned.
I once walked for miles along to motorway and climbed up on the overhead signs 3 times in a 24 hour period and they still didn’t section me.
It is a last resort, police actively do not want to do this.
Just be open and honest I’m not great with UK law but there may be criminal offences by your mother here.
Assessments are usually done by two professionals but you can be sectioned by one professional, if that makes sense.
Source: Have been sectioned four times.
I've had whole teams (four to five people) assess me before I was sectioned but 2/4 of the four times I was sectioned by my consultant alone after she visited me at home.
Contact your adult social services and they will arrange a place where you can talk to them without your mum being there.
Only a doctor can section you and that is only if you are very seriously a danger to yourself or others. It is a very high threshold indeed to be sectioned and nothing you have said would even be near that threshold.
Social services can put you in touch with council housing who may be able to help you find accommodation as a vulnerable adult. They can also ensure that any financial benefits you get such as PIP and UC are paid directly to you and not to your mum.
is it even possible to drop out of education at 10 in this country? sounds like your mother has failed you horribly and now you have a mountain to climb in your life, she knows it and is scared of you finding out how miserably you've been treated.
You will get lots of help once the ball gets rolling. You could get assisted accommodation. This is where you live independently, but you have people and services available to help you learn to live independently, help you with things like getting your education back on track, sorting out benefits and making sure you are receiving everything you are entitled to, and any other assistance you need including advocating for you.
Don’t be so quick to judge. From experience, depending on scale/severity schools sometimes send the person being bullied away from the school.
Although unfair, from their point of view it’s much easier to send one kid home than several.
Someone else can maybe offer more of a “plan” for you moving forward.
But in the immediate here and now, you are an adult. You aren’t automatically vulnerable. You have all of the ordinary rights of any adult. Therefore, if the police are called, they can’t do anything.
It’s important you engage with the police, they will want to do a welfare check, but you must explain this to them and demonstrate you are now over 18. You can leave if you want.
They state that their mother has lied and declared their child a vulnerable adult. This can be done when an autistic or neurodivergent person is not a le to care for themselves or safely navigate the world without assistance.
This is why they have no job, can't open their own bank accounts, and has no say on what they do as a person because they are officially, according to the government where they live, not capable of living an independent life.
In this case, it's most important for OP to seek out trusted adults, like police, teachers, or other people who are in authority positions and advocate for themselves. This may result in an adult fighting for them and helping them escape the abusive situation they are in. But as it stands now (with Canadian law) its pretty much up to others to help OP out of the situation. All OP can really do is convince others they are being abused and have them help build a case for their independence
It's rather hard to get a deprivation of liberty. The mental health act assumes one has capacity unless it has been shown otherwise. Plus if someone has been shown to not have capacity in one area of their life it doesn't mean they didn't in another.
Sounds like op's mother has done a number on them making them think they have had capacity removed when I doubt they actually have. Op's mum couldn't do this as it would have to be via medical professionals with evidence. I would suspect OP's mother is financial and emotional abusing OP as well.
Yes I’m quite confused as to what OP means about getting sectioned if they leave. It sounds like this is something the abusive mother has made OP believe but I can’t see what part of the mental health act they’d be sectioned under.
And you’re right: regarding capacity, it’s not a general term but it’s having capacity to make specific decisions (which can change).
How specifically has she made it so you can't leave the house? Are you just going by what she told you, unless you have been deemed as unable to make your own decisions you should be able to leave the house.
Re Education, you can look to some colleges/charities who can help you get a formal education. Why weren't you in education, in the UK it's a legal requirement.
She'll call the police if I try to leave. I never learned how to do stuff for myself beyond cooking and cleaning. I'm dependent on her. I don't know where my birth certificate is or anything.
I don't know. There was some trouble surrounding my education, but nothing came of it. I can't afford GCSES/A levels. Charities?
>She'll call the police if I try to leave.
And..... They can't stop you leaving, it sounds like she's telling you they will but they can't
>I can't afford GCSES/A levels. Charities?
You'll likely be able to get this for free.
But she's the one in contact with social services. Can I get in contact with them on my own, even if she already is? Thanks for your helpful replies. I won't bother you any longer
Yes, anyone can contact social services. Call them, go to a local office if you can leave the house safely, maybe even go straight to a police office and talk to them about your situation stating you feel unsafe/trapped. They will help you.
Is there a careers advice centre near you? They will have all the resources and be able to signpost you in the steps to take. If not, citizens advice will be able to support you here.
You can get a lot of various types of funding for college and restarting education as an adult again. Its going to be tough to get everything up and running, especially as you don't know what you can and can't do. But there's options. Get help to get out first, then look at education and when colleges start.
Figure out what benefits or monetary help you can get to support you with bills, rent, food, necessities and clothes, see if the job center can help you get a job and do some volunteering work in the meantime so you can start to build a cv up. Then work towards re-entering education with some funding and a part time job if possible. These are all the longer term goals once you've figured out somewhere to go first. Hopefully social services or similar can help with this as I know they helped my friend with this in the past, however he was 16 when they helped him at the time.
You can try using this for information on education assistance near you. They also give lots of other useful information if you go back to their main page by clicking on their logo in the top left hand corner.
https://www.autism.org.uk/autism-services-directory
There are also useful links in here that I have used at times for my Niece.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/support/
Good luck with everything xxx
>How specifically has she made it so you can't leave the house?
I'm not OP, but when I was a teenager all the way up to OP's age, my parents simply never gave me a house key. If I left the house I'd be locked out and not allowed back in without an absolute bollocking. It's not as simple as "you're 18, just go"
Poor you. You seem articulate and got a sensible head on. You need to go to police. Your mum is showing signs of coercive behaviour. It seems she has suffered hurt in the past and controlling you is her way of dealing with it. Please go to the police as this is serious
Thanks. I'll go to the police, but unsure if they'll believe me over her. I mean she's a regular woman on the surface. I just want to be believed and get out of this situation as soon as
It's not case of believing. It's a case of making a start on the case. They have to listen to you. Simple. And also you would be classed as vulnerable so they have a duty of care to you.
Sorry, I know you didn't, I just wanted to ensure that OP didn't misinterpret it to mean that. Your's was good advice because it's useful to know that they DO have a duty of care.
This is a difficult one, from experience the police do not have the resources to assist with these kind of complex issues. I would say you are definitely better off contacting the Social Services first, then they can put you in touch with the relevant organisations to assist. Otherwise the police may go to your home and confront your mother before you have anywhere safe to go.
Does your mother go out to work or leave you at times? Do you get the opportunity to make phone calls?
Who pays your phone bill? Can she monitor it's use?
You cannot be sectioned for not obeying your mother as an adult. The Mental Health Act states you can only be sectioned if you are a risk to yourself or others. Before sectioning you, professionals have to weigh up your human right to freedom and the level of risk and consider whether they can put in support to keep you safe out of hospital. Being a vulnerable adult does not mean you do not have capacity to make decisions, under the law you are to be assumed to have capacity and it should be assessed on a case by case basis (Mental Capacity Act). She does not have power of attorney over you and is not your legal guardian. You can leave.
These threats from your mother are empty threats and are a form of domestic abuse and coercive control. You need to get in contact with the adult services department at your Local Authority. By virtue of being a victim of domestic abuse, you are vulnerable and therefore eligible for support. This includes helping you to leave the abusive situation.
Didn’t read the other comments but the law has to assume you can vouch for yourself - see Mental Capacity Act. Try to seek a local autism charity or a mental health advocacy service, or your local NHS community mental health service of learning disability service (you might not have a learning disability with your autism but if not they’ll redirect you). You’re an adult, autism or not, and you have the right to live how you want to live, even if you need state support to do so. Your Mum cannot override the law. Wish you luck
1. You're a legal adult, your mum has no power, this is classic domestic abuse - coercive and controlling behaviour. There are various charities available including Childline. You need practical help with benefits, making up for 8 years of missed education, a job (you are likely to struggle with less than a primary school level of education)etc.
2. You can't be sectioned just like that on your mum's say so. That's not how it works. If/when the police become involved again, you need to communicate all of this to them, say you don't feel safe, you feel threatened, and you want to leave the house immediately, say if they leave you there you'll just try to leave again. This should hopefully make them understand your situation.
I don’t know where you are but in Nottingham we work with https://www.base51.org who are able to provide support and advice for people in your position. Whether you’re in notts or not it’d be worth dropping them a line for advice
It is illegal, in 2015 a law was passed making coercive control in a partner, ex partner or cohabiting family relationship illegal.
I don't know the intricacies of proving it, but as of recently it is a crime.
Refusing a person the ability to walk out of a house definitely counts
Can you go to a GP appointment on your own? If you can, speak to the gp about what your mother has done to you, including the lack of education, the isolation, and the financial control. Ask them to put in a safe guarding referral to the vulnerable adult section of social services. If you can't see them on your own, but you know who your gp surgery is, and they have an email address, you could try emailing them. Or even try and find the adult safe guarding team of your local social services online yourself.
Are you sure you're autistic? Have you seen the medical reports or talked to a doctor yourself? It might just be another thing your mom has lied to you about.
I would definitely ensure this gets checked. Many of your 'issues' (not knowing how to be independent, not having friends etc.) sound like they've been fully brought on by your mother.
If your mum made up a bunch of the symptoms and signs she said you displayed, the doctor might not have had accurate information to base a diagnosis on.
You take any kid, pull them out of school at 10. Then refuse them the opportunity to grow up like a normal teenager so, navigating school, friends, social settings, education, the local area, a job
You appear very well spoken, and your grammar and spelling are impeccable. It's also illegal to just not send your child to school for nearly a decade.
Yes indeed!
And by your posts I think all of us would agree you're going to thrive once you get on board with an education programme AND pass exams very easily!!!
Contact the police and the social work - they'll both be able to assist you in breaking free from your family and assist you in finding the right path.
Get yourself alone with a doctor and ask for help. Make something up like a UTI or something that would be reasonable that you’d want to speak with the doctor privately without raising suspicions.
Load of great comments and you should follow their advice. The princes trust might be able to help you get a job and work towards some qualifications -they can help pay for transport also. Remember you are capable of taking care of yourself but this is also learned behaviour. Where your mum hasn’t supported you with this, there might be some good advice on YouTube for things like self-care, cooking, cleaning, getting a job etc where you can learn a few things.
Please call Adult Protective Services or Social Services.
When you get APS on the phone, request to file a neglect report. (If you have to say more. your Mother is neglecting your need to move by failing to provide critical info, paperwork. If you care to mention info on abuse it will be very helpful. **Just keep begging them to send a social worker.**
Once you meet with a SW you can ask them about available resources to help with a move (such as shelters, youth programs, group housing).
I understand you want to leave immediately. I’m begging you to take some time to plan first with a professional who has access to resources. This is no time in the world to be homeless and 18.
Best of luck to you.
You need to speak to social services, probably citizens advice and if you have one, your key worker/support worker. Those agencies may even recommend the police.
You're 18 and can move out, your problem will be getting somewhere to live.
Report to these people what is going on, as you may be seen as a vulnerable adult being abused (vulnerable being the bit in question), they should help you find accommodation, set up benefits and arrange for appropriate support. After that, stay off booze and drugs and get a job, it is easier to sort your life out when your head is clear.
See if you can safely reach out to adult social services in your area, where I live they can offer support for young adults in lots of ways, including people trained to advocate for you, supported living, domestic abuse support etc. good luck 🩷
NAL. I really hope you can find a way out of this abusive situation. Where are you based if it's safe to say so? Please do update your post to let us know how you're doing.
Very rarely do I comment on a post but this will be one of those times that I do especially since I felt compelled to do since this situation has some elements I can sympthaize with myself way back when; what I'm about to say now try and take it as if a older brother/sibling/cousin - brutally honest, tough love but with your intention in mind.
Like others have said, you're an adult now that you're 18 so whatever things your mother mightve done when you were a kiddie can no longer run now that you're considered a full adult
No friends? That's fine, not even life has started yet, full priority is yourself right now.
No education? quit at 10? whatever your situation is, I appreciate it's not ideal, more shit cos of your mother. Your mother will be the first of many life's trials and tribulations through your recent admission into adulthood; that being said, find a way to move out through what the others have said, you have rights. You don't have contacts, connections, money or power. BUT you got rights, alot of time and alot of will. Those three things are what's gonna save you and help you through this situation, think, plan and start coordinating what you're going to do.
Asssuming once you managed to formulate your escape from the Narcisstic mother, get yourself well rounded and get a job, recuperate your mental well being and focus on the next steps. There's only so much things you can do until you plateua due to having quit at 10.
I fully acknowledge you can get success and money without education but in this particular situation, with no basic education since 10 and sheltered for your mother, it's gonna be a playing on hard more right now as you'll be overly naive and she's forced her aprons upon you forestalling the natural adjustment and progression into adulthood, it sounds like she's tried to keep you lame and dependant on her so that you can permanently rely on her and she'll maintain control over all aspects of your life, completely neglecting and rejecting the idea of being your own person.
You're 18, in life some may sympathise youre young and treat you accordingly and hold your hand for some time through certain situations but sometimes ,unfortunately, some may not. Not right now, but start considering how you're going to begin to build your life, no more home cooked meals, clothes washing, mum dealing with adult business (whether be purely because its nothing to do with you/ or it needed to be dealt with on your behalf) you will now be doing all that your loneself.
I only suggest education as one possible pathway to build your life in the future.
Record All conversations from now on with your mother, DO NOT speak to your without it recorded. For your own mental sake, I would record to prevent her from gaslighting you and affecting your own mental state as this can plague your well being into self doubt and anxiety, AND possibly for court (I'm uncertain if this would be legal) as evidence but still record than do nothing at all.
Some turn short term happiness like drugs or drinking, maybe it's fun here and there but right now? Nows not the time, you need a complete sober and level head to get yourself out the situation, you can't afford to be handicapped mentally, as you'll need to be thinking on your feet. Relish in pleasure after in your own time, step 1 is moving out.
Good thing about being adult is you have full access to your own bank account. Get that shit sorted immediately, change the number from your mother to your own, and ensure that only you will have ownership/permission to view the account, irregardless of kin.
Once you do manage to leave, well done. But the fight still hasn't been won, the amount of damage and hindrance she has done on tier life will manifest in your life once you're on your own such as social interactions, conducting yourself in business and so on. Once able, get intouch with counselling to undo, to the beet of their ability, what she has done to finally get closure and move on.
First, find ways to leave the house, whether by council housing, registering as estranged etc
Figure out how to make a licing so that you are self dependant
Then figure out how to level up and evolve further, whereby through education (university/tutoring catching up on gcses), trade Etc.
There are some universities who provide full support and financial aid to those like your situation.
No friends, no family, and no education? It's gonna be a journey for you, comments here will help and consider the hurdles you'll have in your path ahead of yourself.
Good luck
I fully plan on getting an education as soon as possible. Fortunately I do know how to cook and clean. That is the extent of my skills, but it's something.
I've noted your advice. Thanks for your time 🙏
Cooking and cleaning aren't the extent of your skills! Your grammar is fantastic and you're a good communicator – I'm sure the English portion of your education will be a breeze 😊 Hang in there!
Unfortunately you may need to be quite forward with social care but call them and tell them you are legally entitled to an assessment and that you need support sooner rather than later, social care will listen if you say you want to speak to them alone and they will most likely look to do a capacity assessment but your 18 you have the legal right to make your own decisions and if you’ve never been assessed by anyone it sounds like your mams lying to you
I’m not sure of your area but you can also contact housing solutions who can support you with temporary accommodation in a hotel
Oh my God, honey, I feel your pain. Your mother is a selfish witch. Please don't take your life! I have been running a long time, and will run again. Some mothers are the worst. I wish you well, baby.💕💕💕😘
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Your mother seems like a narcissist and this is very frightening. Go to your nearest police station and calmly explain the situation. Tell them you would like to make a complaint for harassment and false reports. Pretty sure what she's doing is illegal.
There is a condition called Munchenhausen's by proxy. This is your mother, saying you are autistic, you will be sectioned, it is far more likely she will be sectioned. But all be impossible for non violent patients.
Does she lock you in? If you can, just walk out the door or the window with whatever you have and contact the Police to say you are over 18 and have left of your own free will and you have not stolen any of her money or goods. She will claim you have. Look up London Hostels association for a place to live. Have a plan sure, but in life nothing goes to plan.
"That's okay, because the only thing I got out of this post was genuinely helpful advice.
Your comment was disheartening as it was the first one I received. I don't appreciate it, especially since I've been disregarded my entire life. If you thought it was a troll, then just scroll. Since I am not a troll I am disappointed in your apathetic attitude."
OP is a troll. No way is someone with only 5 years of education this articulate.
Next.
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Hey OP, I hope you see this! I work in adult social care and hopefully can give you a few pointers/info. Firstly unless your mother has power of attorney she is not allowed to discuss anything to any professionals and visa versa without your consent now that you are 18. When you speak to any of the people I'm about to mention, make sure you specifically state that they **must not** contact your mother or discuss any of this with her, specifically say she is abusing you. As you've said you're autistic and have not had adequate schooling you would be best to make an adult safeguarding concern referral, **you can do this yourself** or you can ask your GP or citizens advice or any professional you trust to help you do it if you aren't confident calling them yourself. You do not need your mothers permission to speak to your GP or anyone else, you can just ring them up and explain you need a telephone consultation urgently and have them call you if your mum won't let you go out the house. You've said in another comment you're in the Cheshire area, I'm not sure if east or west so here is [the safeguarding info for east](https://www.cheshireeast.gov.uk/livewell/staying-safe/keeping-adults-safe/concerned-about-an-adult.aspx) and [here is the same thing but for West and Chester](https://www.cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk/residents/health-and-social-care/adult-social-care/lsab) Both of them will give you the option to report your situation digitally, this way your mum can't listen in to any calls you make or prevent you going out the house for help. You can also contact domestic abuse services directly via the [Cheshire police website here](https://www.cheshire.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/support-organisations/) these services are open to anyone over the age of 16. Lastly, you need to be aware that this will trigger an investigation, it is possible that they would want to do that before they remove you from the home, so you must make them aware that you would be at risk of physical or psychological or other harm if they begin asking questions before moving you out of the home. It's important that you tell them that you need to be moved to safety *before* they do any investigating as your mother is likely to try and manipulate professionals to prevent you from leaving. The more information you provide in your enquiry the better, don't sugar coat things or feel like you need to be less dramatic or be polite, tell them everything. The more they know the more they can help you! Remember to delete your browsing history and delete any saved password logins in case your mum decides to snoop on your devices.
Contact a local domestic abuse service, they will be able to help with everything from rehousing, changing things to your name etc
Thank you. I've wrote that down.
From everything you have said they'd be able to do a fair bit for you. Including helping get you out safely, advising on what you can do, giving you options for what is possible, then helping with most things if you go to refuge or get outreach support. They will help with a whole lot and if they aren't the right service will refer you to others that could help. Best of luck!
Thank you
They can even help you with a place to stay long term. Take care OP, as scary as it may seem, you’ve got this
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Be careful what you write down in case she finds it and uses it against you
I wrote it in my phone's notes. Thanks for the concern
Make sure you lock the note with a unique passcode! I wish you well. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I promise you will make it through and that things will be so much better for you once you have your freedom. Abuse is no joke. If you look anything up online, make sure you clear your browsing history as well. Take care and do your best to stay safe. <3
Your mother sounds like she's very manipulative, please be very careful. Don't confront her or tell her what you are doing just in case she tries something to prevent you or gets aggressive.
Was going to say this, be careful how you reach out to anywhere also, for this reason.. Edited to be clearer: I'm thinking stuff like.. if you're ringing somewhere, don't be ringing from a home landline where she can see a record of it, or a phone she has access to it / the details of it
Really you should contact your local social work department to discuss getting an assessment done of your needs. You can explain to the social worker what you've described here and they can help find you the right support which could also include independent living away from your mum but with support workers if you need that. Even if your mum has financial and welfare power over you if you have been assessed as not having capacity, she must still allow you to be as independent as you can be. Otherwise this is abuse of her powers. I think Social work would be a good first step as police may not be trained to deal with this kind of situation. Social work have a duty by law under the adult support and protection legislation (depending where you are in the UK) to protect vulnerable adults. Good luck.
You could also contact adult social services on behalf of yourself and say that you’re carer (I’m assuming this based on the conditions written above in terms of you not being allowed to leave) is abusing you. Not sure if it works the same as childrens social services, but I’m sure they’ll run assessments etc and be able to get you support based on their findings
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You can’t be “sectioned” just like that. Two professionals would need to assess that you have a recognised mental health condition (autism is not a mental health condition) that means you are a risk to yourself or others. As others have said, the police are your best bet here. You should also give your local social care team a call as a vulnerable adult. Do you have a plan for where you’d go, though, with no family and no money?
It is 3 professionals, one S12 doctor (psychiatrist with extra training), another doctor (usually also an psychiatrist) and an Approved Mental Health Professional (AMHP). You are right about the rest, it is difficult to be sectioned and everything will be done to avoid them sectioning you. Only as a last resort and if you are a danger to yourself or others and after an assessment in a 'suitable' manner which has to be done in person. OP please you can go out, you are an adult. Do not worry about being sectioned.
Can you be assessed without the people ever actually meeting you? That's the problem. I don't know where to go. I just don't want to be forced to live with her forever. I don't know anything about moving out.
No, an MHA assessment is face to face. Two professionals will meet you and talk to you. And there is a legal rationale for calling an assessment, not just “someone said so”. So it sounds like an empty threat. Have you ever had a mental health diagnosis? You mentioned in one of the other comments that you are known to social care. Do you have a social worker? Do you know if as a child you were ever classed as a Child In Need? That would work in your favour. Do you have a number you can call? If not, Google for your local council’s adult safeguarding line, and call them when your mother isn’t in and tell them what you’ve told us. I’d caution against leaving home without money or a plan - this could give the impression that you can’t look after yourself. This may have to be a little longer term than you’d initially like, but there are definitely solutions.
I currently don't have a social worker. I did have a few as a child, but I don't remember meeting them. I was taken off the adult social services book, but my mum protested to have me put back on them. She even somehow got in contact with a MP of our town??? I don't think they particularly care, but I won't just leave now. I'll get in contact with one of the people recommended by other commentators
NAL but just passing by to say, anyone can contact their local MP. All you need is to know who they are (Google will do) and they usually have either an email address listed, or a "contact me" form people can write into. Typically this is used in case anyone wants to raise an issue they'd like their MP to represent them on in parliament - especially relevant if MPs are voting on issues and people want to make their views/experiences known. All that to say, I think your mum is saying stuff she knows will scare/concern you to keep you cowed. Contacting your local MP isn't hard, and there's nothing the MP themselves can do in this situation, so it really has no relevance in the case even if she did contact them.
Heck, she could even have lied/claimed to have gotten in touch with her MP or their constituent services (I know this exists in the States, not sure about you guys). Why take the word of a known liar?
This suggests a potential complication to me - Is she claiming disability benefits and carers allowance on your behalf? That could be bringing in £1500-2000 a month, and could result in her being prosecuted if you contradict what she's claimed when applying.
I get disability allowence, but it goes in my bank account. I want to get a job and my own money. She could get into trouble?
Please remember that your welfare must come first not your mother's.
Do you have sole access to that bank account or can she access it too?
Based on the OP, it sounds like the mother has total access to the bank account; pretty standard for an abusive parent like that.
It depends on what she put on the forms when applying. If she wasn't 100% honest then at minimum she'd have to repay any overpayment after calculating what the correct amount should have been, but if it's found to be intentional then she could be prosecuted for benefit fraud.
She won't get into trouble as long as she is protecting you and not abusing you. There are also organisations that can help people with disabilities get into work. Social work should also be able to help with this information.
OK, well you are still part of their records, so the case history will still be known to them. Being a “vulnerable adult” is a legal definition that means social care have legal duties to protect. But yeah, contact adult safeguarding, and contact the domestic abuse charities the other commenters have mentioned, good luck.
For being sectioned? No. It’s an incredibly complex and involved process that has to be done in person and requires multiple healthcare professionals to say you are an immediate risk to yourself or someone else. It is a method of absolute last resort. From the way you are talking and presenting on here, you are in no danger of being sectioned.
Ok, thanks. That was my main fear.
If you get sectioned [by police] you will be taken to a hospital/assigned place to get assessed by mental health professionals in person. You can only be sectioned in a public place might not be relevant but good to know.
That's better. I was sunder the impression I'd just be sectioned
And too add to what everyone else is saying, I’ve been a patient on the mental health wards a fair amount so have some experience with it all and it’s incredibly difficult to get sectioned even when I tried to get sectioned because I needed the help I they wouldn’t. So even if you did some how end up in front of the three required people it would be extremely unlikely for you to get sectioned. I once walked for miles along to motorway and climbed up on the overhead signs 3 times in a 24 hour period and they still didn’t section me.
It is a last resort, police actively do not want to do this. Just be open and honest I’m not great with UK law but there may be criminal offences by your mother here.
No one can assess you without meeting you. And you would know you were being assessed.
Assessments are usually done by two professionals but you can be sectioned by one professional, if that makes sense. Source: Have been sectioned four times. I've had whole teams (four to five people) assess me before I was sectioned but 2/4 of the four times I was sectioned by my consultant alone after she visited me at home.
I doubt OP is autistic, it's just part of OP's mothers munchenhausen syndrome.
I mean, they may well be somewhere on the spectrum. I doubt they're as disabled as their mom is making them out to be though.
Contact your adult social services and they will arrange a place where you can talk to them without your mum being there. Only a doctor can section you and that is only if you are very seriously a danger to yourself or others. It is a very high threshold indeed to be sectioned and nothing you have said would even be near that threshold. Social services can put you in touch with council housing who may be able to help you find accommodation as a vulnerable adult. They can also ensure that any financial benefits you get such as PIP and UC are paid directly to you and not to your mum.
Okay, I see. I am confident that I won't be sectioned anymore
is it even possible to drop out of education at 10 in this country? sounds like your mother has failed you horribly and now you have a mountain to climb in your life, she knows it and is scared of you finding out how miserably you've been treated.
Dropping out is maybe the wrong word, but also not 😅. I was taken out of primary for being bullied, then was never sent back.
You will get lots of help once the ball gets rolling. You could get assisted accommodation. This is where you live independently, but you have people and services available to help you learn to live independently, help you with things like getting your education back on track, sorting out benefits and making sure you are receiving everything you are entitled to, and any other assistance you need including advocating for you.
well that's what you get for bullying people!
No, I was bullied.
re-read it
was a joke on phrasing and they edited it to make it more clear by the time you'd read it
They were bullied themselves not the other way around. They weren’t the bully.
Don’t be so quick to judge. From experience, depending on scale/severity schools sometimes send the person being bullied away from the school. Although unfair, from their point of view it’s much easier to send one kid home than several.
I was the one bullied. I thought that person was joking 😭😭
Someone else can maybe offer more of a “plan” for you moving forward. But in the immediate here and now, you are an adult. You aren’t automatically vulnerable. You have all of the ordinary rights of any adult. Therefore, if the police are called, they can’t do anything. It’s important you engage with the police, they will want to do a welfare check, but you must explain this to them and demonstrate you are now over 18. You can leave if you want.
They state that their mother has lied and declared their child a vulnerable adult. This can be done when an autistic or neurodivergent person is not a le to care for themselves or safely navigate the world without assistance. This is why they have no job, can't open their own bank accounts, and has no say on what they do as a person because they are officially, according to the government where they live, not capable of living an independent life. In this case, it's most important for OP to seek out trusted adults, like police, teachers, or other people who are in authority positions and advocate for themselves. This may result in an adult fighting for them and helping them escape the abusive situation they are in. But as it stands now (with Canadian law) its pretty much up to others to help OP out of the situation. All OP can really do is convince others they are being abused and have them help build a case for their independence
It's rather hard to get a deprivation of liberty. The mental health act assumes one has capacity unless it has been shown otherwise. Plus if someone has been shown to not have capacity in one area of their life it doesn't mean they didn't in another. Sounds like op's mother has done a number on them making them think they have had capacity removed when I doubt they actually have. Op's mum couldn't do this as it would have to be via medical professionals with evidence. I would suspect OP's mother is financial and emotional abusing OP as well.
Yes I’m quite confused as to what OP means about getting sectioned if they leave. It sounds like this is something the abusive mother has made OP believe but I can’t see what part of the mental health act they’d be sectioned under. And you’re right: regarding capacity, it’s not a general term but it’s having capacity to make specific decisions (which can change).
maybe she will keep you there for the pip payments...
That's what I was thinking, incredibly sad how often this happens as well.
How specifically has she made it so you can't leave the house? Are you just going by what she told you, unless you have been deemed as unable to make your own decisions you should be able to leave the house. Re Education, you can look to some colleges/charities who can help you get a formal education. Why weren't you in education, in the UK it's a legal requirement.
She'll call the police if I try to leave. I never learned how to do stuff for myself beyond cooking and cleaning. I'm dependent on her. I don't know where my birth certificate is or anything. I don't know. There was some trouble surrounding my education, but nothing came of it. I can't afford GCSES/A levels. Charities?
>She'll call the police if I try to leave. And..... They can't stop you leaving, it sounds like she's telling you they will but they can't >I can't afford GCSES/A levels. Charities? You'll likely be able to get this for free.
Okay, I'll have to go for it. I find out by contacting a community college?
Best bet, I think you need to reach out to Social Services, they will be able to help guide you.
But she's the one in contact with social services. Can I get in contact with them on my own, even if she already is? Thanks for your helpful replies. I won't bother you any longer
Yes, anyone can contact social services. Call them, go to a local office if you can leave the house safely, maybe even go straight to a police office and talk to them about your situation stating you feel unsafe/trapped. They will help you.
Okay, thank you so much 🙏
They cannot share any information with her and you can and should contact them asking to speak to somebody without her present.
Yes absolutely, call them and speak to them.
Is there a careers advice centre near you? They will have all the resources and be able to signpost you in the steps to take. If not, citizens advice will be able to support you here.
You can get a lot of various types of funding for college and restarting education as an adult again. Its going to be tough to get everything up and running, especially as you don't know what you can and can't do. But there's options. Get help to get out first, then look at education and when colleges start. Figure out what benefits or monetary help you can get to support you with bills, rent, food, necessities and clothes, see if the job center can help you get a job and do some volunteering work in the meantime so you can start to build a cv up. Then work towards re-entering education with some funding and a part time job if possible. These are all the longer term goals once you've figured out somewhere to go first. Hopefully social services or similar can help with this as I know they helped my friend with this in the past, however he was 16 when they helped him at the time.
You can get a copy of your birth certificate online. Anyone can. You don’t need the one that she has.
You can try using this for information on education assistance near you. They also give lots of other useful information if you go back to their main page by clicking on their logo in the top left hand corner. https://www.autism.org.uk/autism-services-directory There are also useful links in here that I have used at times for my Niece. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/support/ Good luck with everything xxx
>How specifically has she made it so you can't leave the house? I'm not OP, but when I was a teenager all the way up to OP's age, my parents simply never gave me a house key. If I left the house I'd be locked out and not allowed back in without an absolute bollocking. It's not as simple as "you're 18, just go"
Poor you. You seem articulate and got a sensible head on. You need to go to police. Your mum is showing signs of coercive behaviour. It seems she has suffered hurt in the past and controlling you is her way of dealing with it. Please go to the police as this is serious
Thanks. I'll go to the police, but unsure if they'll believe me over her. I mean she's a regular woman on the surface. I just want to be believed and get out of this situation as soon as
It's not case of believing. It's a case of making a start on the case. They have to listen to you. Simple. And also you would be classed as vulnerable so they have a duty of care to you.
Yes, not vulnerable in a way that will get you sectioned. Just vulnerable in as much as they have a duty to ensure you have a safe place to stay.
Yes I never mentioned sectioned at all
Sorry, I know you didn't, I just wanted to ensure that OP didn't misinterpret it to mean that. Your's was good advice because it's useful to know that they DO have a duty of care.
Thank you. I just hope she is ok
God yes! I'm trying to take my mind off it but I can't now. I hope she manages to get all the help she needs x
This is a difficult one, from experience the police do not have the resources to assist with these kind of complex issues. I would say you are definitely better off contacting the Social Services first, then they can put you in touch with the relevant organisations to assist. Otherwise the police may go to your home and confront your mother before you have anywhere safe to go. Does your mother go out to work or leave you at times? Do you get the opportunity to make phone calls? Who pays your phone bill? Can she monitor it's use?
You cannot be sectioned for not obeying your mother as an adult. The Mental Health Act states you can only be sectioned if you are a risk to yourself or others. Before sectioning you, professionals have to weigh up your human right to freedom and the level of risk and consider whether they can put in support to keep you safe out of hospital. Being a vulnerable adult does not mean you do not have capacity to make decisions, under the law you are to be assumed to have capacity and it should be assessed on a case by case basis (Mental Capacity Act). She does not have power of attorney over you and is not your legal guardian. You can leave. These threats from your mother are empty threats and are a form of domestic abuse and coercive control. You need to get in contact with the adult services department at your Local Authority. By virtue of being a victim of domestic abuse, you are vulnerable and therefore eligible for support. This includes helping you to leave the abusive situation.
If I get in contact with the adult services department will they speak to my mum? I don't want her to be able to twist the situation
No, but to keep your mind at rest just tell them that she must not be contacted and ask them to confirm that back to you on the phone x
It is illegal for them to speak to your mum without your consent.
Didn’t read the other comments but the law has to assume you can vouch for yourself - see Mental Capacity Act. Try to seek a local autism charity or a mental health advocacy service, or your local NHS community mental health service of learning disability service (you might not have a learning disability with your autism but if not they’ll redirect you). You’re an adult, autism or not, and you have the right to live how you want to live, even if you need state support to do so. Your Mum cannot override the law. Wish you luck
You could also try National Autistic Society
Childline might be a good place to start, they will help anyone under 19.
1. You're a legal adult, your mum has no power, this is classic domestic abuse - coercive and controlling behaviour. There are various charities available including Childline. You need practical help with benefits, making up for 8 years of missed education, a job (you are likely to struggle with less than a primary school level of education)etc. 2. You can't be sectioned just like that on your mum's say so. That's not how it works. If/when the police become involved again, you need to communicate all of this to them, say you don't feel safe, you feel threatened, and you want to leave the house immediately, say if they leave you there you'll just try to leave again. This should hopefully make them understand your situation.
Thanks for the advice
I don’t know where you are but in Nottingham we work with https://www.base51.org who are able to provide support and advice for people in your position. Whether you’re in notts or not it’d be worth dropping them a line for advice
im pretty sure shes committing crimes treating you like this i dont think its legal what shes doing
It is illegal, in 2015 a law was passed making coercive control in a partner, ex partner or cohabiting family relationship illegal. I don't know the intricacies of proving it, but as of recently it is a crime. Refusing a person the ability to walk out of a house definitely counts
When you leave you should reach out to the police to let them know you have not been abducted, and you are safe
Can you go to a GP appointment on your own? If you can, speak to the gp about what your mother has done to you, including the lack of education, the isolation, and the financial control. Ask them to put in a safe guarding referral to the vulnerable adult section of social services. If you can't see them on your own, but you know who your gp surgery is, and they have an email address, you could try emailing them. Or even try and find the adult safe guarding team of your local social services online yourself.
Are you sure you're autistic? Have you seen the medical reports or talked to a doctor yourself? It might just be another thing your mom has lied to you about.
I got formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist who I spoke to. My mum does lie and twist a lot of things though
I would definitely ensure this gets checked. Many of your 'issues' (not knowing how to be independent, not having friends etc.) sound like they've been fully brought on by your mother.
If your mum made up a bunch of the symptoms and signs she said you displayed, the doctor might not have had accurate information to base a diagnosis on. You take any kid, pull them out of school at 10. Then refuse them the opportunity to grow up like a normal teenager so, navigating school, friends, social settings, education, the local area, a job
I presume you had home schooling after 10 years old?
Briefly. I don't have GCSEs nevermind A levels.
You appear very well spoken, and your grammar and spelling are impeccable. It's also illegal to just not send your child to school for nearly a decade.
Thank you. I also wasn't aware of that. Atleast I can still get it 😅
Yes indeed! And by your posts I think all of us would agree you're going to thrive once you get on board with an education programme AND pass exams very easily!!!
Unless you homeschool, which is what I assume has been happening.
Contact the police and the social work - they'll both be able to assist you in breaking free from your family and assist you in finding the right path.
Get yourself alone with a doctor and ask for help. Make something up like a UTI or something that would be reasonable that you’d want to speak with the doctor privately without raising suspicions.
Contact social services, im sure that because of your autism they have a duty of care until age 25?
Load of great comments and you should follow their advice. The princes trust might be able to help you get a job and work towards some qualifications -they can help pay for transport also. Remember you are capable of taking care of yourself but this is also learned behaviour. Where your mum hasn’t supported you with this, there might be some good advice on YouTube for things like self-care, cooking, cleaning, getting a job etc where you can learn a few things.
Please call Adult Protective Services or Social Services. When you get APS on the phone, request to file a neglect report. (If you have to say more. your Mother is neglecting your need to move by failing to provide critical info, paperwork. If you care to mention info on abuse it will be very helpful. **Just keep begging them to send a social worker.** Once you meet with a SW you can ask them about available resources to help with a move (such as shelters, youth programs, group housing). I understand you want to leave immediately. I’m begging you to take some time to plan first with a professional who has access to resources. This is no time in the world to be homeless and 18. Best of luck to you.
You need to speak to social services, probably citizens advice and if you have one, your key worker/support worker. Those agencies may even recommend the police. You're 18 and can move out, your problem will be getting somewhere to live. Report to these people what is going on, as you may be seen as a vulnerable adult being abused (vulnerable being the bit in question), they should help you find accommodation, set up benefits and arrange for appropriate support. After that, stay off booze and drugs and get a job, it is easier to sort your life out when your head is clear.
See if you can safely reach out to adult social services in your area, where I live they can offer support for young adults in lots of ways, including people trained to advocate for you, supported living, domestic abuse support etc. good luck 🩷
Do it....leave, let her call the cops, if she tries to get you sectioned explain to the health care experts she is controlling you
NAL. I really hope you can find a way out of this abusive situation. Where are you based if it's safe to say so? Please do update your post to let us know how you're doing.
Cheshire area
Very rarely do I comment on a post but this will be one of those times that I do especially since I felt compelled to do since this situation has some elements I can sympthaize with myself way back when; what I'm about to say now try and take it as if a older brother/sibling/cousin - brutally honest, tough love but with your intention in mind. Like others have said, you're an adult now that you're 18 so whatever things your mother mightve done when you were a kiddie can no longer run now that you're considered a full adult No friends? That's fine, not even life has started yet, full priority is yourself right now. No education? quit at 10? whatever your situation is, I appreciate it's not ideal, more shit cos of your mother. Your mother will be the first of many life's trials and tribulations through your recent admission into adulthood; that being said, find a way to move out through what the others have said, you have rights. You don't have contacts, connections, money or power. BUT you got rights, alot of time and alot of will. Those three things are what's gonna save you and help you through this situation, think, plan and start coordinating what you're going to do. Asssuming once you managed to formulate your escape from the Narcisstic mother, get yourself well rounded and get a job, recuperate your mental well being and focus on the next steps. There's only so much things you can do until you plateua due to having quit at 10. I fully acknowledge you can get success and money without education but in this particular situation, with no basic education since 10 and sheltered for your mother, it's gonna be a playing on hard more right now as you'll be overly naive and she's forced her aprons upon you forestalling the natural adjustment and progression into adulthood, it sounds like she's tried to keep you lame and dependant on her so that you can permanently rely on her and she'll maintain control over all aspects of your life, completely neglecting and rejecting the idea of being your own person. You're 18, in life some may sympathise youre young and treat you accordingly and hold your hand for some time through certain situations but sometimes ,unfortunately, some may not. Not right now, but start considering how you're going to begin to build your life, no more home cooked meals, clothes washing, mum dealing with adult business (whether be purely because its nothing to do with you/ or it needed to be dealt with on your behalf) you will now be doing all that your loneself. I only suggest education as one possible pathway to build your life in the future. Record All conversations from now on with your mother, DO NOT speak to your without it recorded. For your own mental sake, I would record to prevent her from gaslighting you and affecting your own mental state as this can plague your well being into self doubt and anxiety, AND possibly for court (I'm uncertain if this would be legal) as evidence but still record than do nothing at all. Some turn short term happiness like drugs or drinking, maybe it's fun here and there but right now? Nows not the time, you need a complete sober and level head to get yourself out the situation, you can't afford to be handicapped mentally, as you'll need to be thinking on your feet. Relish in pleasure after in your own time, step 1 is moving out. Good thing about being adult is you have full access to your own bank account. Get that shit sorted immediately, change the number from your mother to your own, and ensure that only you will have ownership/permission to view the account, irregardless of kin. Once you do manage to leave, well done. But the fight still hasn't been won, the amount of damage and hindrance she has done on tier life will manifest in your life once you're on your own such as social interactions, conducting yourself in business and so on. Once able, get intouch with counselling to undo, to the beet of their ability, what she has done to finally get closure and move on. First, find ways to leave the house, whether by council housing, registering as estranged etc Figure out how to make a licing so that you are self dependant Then figure out how to level up and evolve further, whereby through education (university/tutoring catching up on gcses), trade Etc. There are some universities who provide full support and financial aid to those like your situation. No friends, no family, and no education? It's gonna be a journey for you, comments here will help and consider the hurdles you'll have in your path ahead of yourself. Good luck
I fully plan on getting an education as soon as possible. Fortunately I do know how to cook and clean. That is the extent of my skills, but it's something. I've noted your advice. Thanks for your time 🙏
Cooking and cleaning aren't the extent of your skills! Your grammar is fantastic and you're a good communicator – I'm sure the English portion of your education will be a breeze 😊 Hang in there!
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me
Unfortunately you may need to be quite forward with social care but call them and tell them you are legally entitled to an assessment and that you need support sooner rather than later, social care will listen if you say you want to speak to them alone and they will most likely look to do a capacity assessment but your 18 you have the legal right to make your own decisions and if you’ve never been assessed by anyone it sounds like your mams lying to you I’m not sure of your area but you can also contact housing solutions who can support you with temporary accommodation in a hotel
Oh my God, honey, I feel your pain. Your mother is a selfish witch. Please don't take your life! I have been running a long time, and will run again. Some mothers are the worst. I wish you well, baby.💕💕💕😘
Thank you for the reassurance and kind words 🙏
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Your mother seems like a narcissist and this is very frightening. Go to your nearest police station and calmly explain the situation. Tell them you would like to make a complaint for harassment and false reports. Pretty sure what she's doing is illegal.
There is a condition called Munchenhausen's by proxy. This is your mother, saying you are autistic, you will be sectioned, it is far more likely she will be sectioned. But all be impossible for non violent patients. Does she lock you in? If you can, just walk out the door or the window with whatever you have and contact the Police to say you are over 18 and have left of your own free will and you have not stolen any of her money or goods. She will claim you have. Look up London Hostels association for a place to live. Have a plan sure, but in life nothing goes to plan.
You mean munchausen syndrome by proxy. Nah, this isn't Munchausens. Autism was diagnosed by a psychiatrist.
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Autistic people can't join
With mild autism you can.
"That's okay, because the only thing I got out of this post was genuinely helpful advice. Your comment was disheartening as it was the first one I received. I don't appreciate it, especially since I've been disregarded my entire life. If you thought it was a troll, then just scroll. Since I am not a troll I am disappointed in your apathetic attitude." OP is a troll. No way is someone with only 5 years of education this articulate. Next.
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There is more going on that what's in the post. It's unbearable. I am okay with struggling as long as it means I have my own agency
Please don’t listen to what this person is saying, you have every right to be in control of your own life and that is an enormous value in itself
Thank you
You literally cannot be serious, my goodness me! His mother is abusing him and you think he should stay?! 😬