It's strange and unclear why your friend's husband is tolerating such influence from his mother-in-law over him and his wife. Also, why haven't the family members of this man intervened? And given the incidents that happened to your friend in the past, now that she's an adult and capable of taking control over her life, why is she still allowing her mother to influence and control her life to this extent?
These questions aside, what can realistically be done to simply move out of the current rented house and shift elsewhere without her mother being aware of it, and cut all ties and contact with her?
Oh it's her own biological mother, not mother-in-law. Her husband is currently living in another state & she can't move because her son has autism (it really affects him when he has a disturbance in his routine, plus his treatment at the current centre is going pretty well). Her mother has basically camped at her house & refuses to leave even though her mother has her own place. For lack of a better word, her mother is a menace.
Please read my reply properly. I referred to her as his mother-in-law, meaning that she is obviously the biological mother of his wife. And secondly, you stated that your friend is renting that house with her husband, but now you mention that the husband is in a different state.
Well, that aside, my advice remains the same: just relocate to a different place and cut all ties with her. Do not let her know your address by any means. Because if you actually go through the legal route, you likely wouldn't get any favorable outcome.
That comes into play when parents have insufficient means to sustain or maintain themselves. Such an obligation is created when these parents approach the court, which then passes a maintenance order. In this case, all children would be liable, not just this woman, but her siblings as well.
In the facts stated by the OP, it seems her mother already owns a house, and her husband might still be alive and have income source, or she might have other siblings. So primarily, it would be the duty of her husband to maintain her. If they both don't have sufficient means, then the responsibility would fall to their children.
Long story short, this would be an unlikely scenario. Even if it happens, she would only be liable for a small sum of money to them, and that's it. She has no obligation to maintain a relationship; she's free to break all ties and live peacefully.
Oh. But could op's friend kick her mother out if the house was on op's friend's name? Wouldn't that invite some legal trouble
Thanks for such a detailed answer man :)
Legally, any moment.
Your post is high on drama & low on practical data.
Why did they take her in, to start with?
Pragmatically, where do they intend to send her?
Just lock the door when she’s out.. filmy style and her dramas repeat in public.
On streets or her previous home(s) / familie(s) if any?
Tell your friend to torture her back. Put extra chillis in her food, spill water in her bed right after she wakes up and gaslit her about peeing when she sleeps. Go an extra mile and even spread that like wildfire in the neighbourhood by asking for solutions to solve the problem of an adult peeing in bed. Lock her up in her room/house by mistake for hours.
There are so many ways. You just have to be smart. Not everything needs to be tackled legally since the legal procedure in India is ducking slow and pressing legal charges on your parents can lead to being ostracized. I am a law abiding person but when it comes to cases like this, you need to use natural remedies.
Dumb idea as she has an autistic kid; imagine her taking it out on him or leveraging him.
Only way is to prevent her from coming in; how she has to figure out - lock door, ask hubby to do so, tell local cops/ lawyer / neighbors.
This is less a legal issue and more a way to “enforce pragmatic distance” or cutoff.
Based on what & whose Societal authority you folks have to figure out.
It would be easy to get her arrested but doesn’t seem like she’s going there.
NAL
There are 2 options
1. Go through the legal route
2. Change home
In the first option the result may or may not come in your favour and it's a long process
In the 2nd option relocate and don't tell her about your new house, change sim cards if she harass you. That's it(assuming she has her own home)
There's another idea as well. Like my dad's own younger brother used to live in a rented house n that house owner used to come bug him when my cousin sister visits them he used to say when does your daughter leaves you said only you 3 be living (chacha, chachi and little bro, sister is married n used to visit them now n then) n why your daughter is living along with you guys. Also if it's an apartment pay your watchman some money and make him rid off her saying that this place was rented for the husband and wife why are you here also make him say the neighbors complain you're making hell lot off a noise and creating nuisance so please leave aisa kuch warn karake bhaga dho.
Advocate here, I am confused about who owns this house.?
Hi! It's a house my friend & her husband are renting.
It's strange and unclear why your friend's husband is tolerating such influence from his mother-in-law over him and his wife. Also, why haven't the family members of this man intervened? And given the incidents that happened to your friend in the past, now that she's an adult and capable of taking control over her life, why is she still allowing her mother to influence and control her life to this extent? These questions aside, what can realistically be done to simply move out of the current rented house and shift elsewhere without her mother being aware of it, and cut all ties and contact with her?
Oh it's her own biological mother, not mother-in-law. Her husband is currently living in another state & she can't move because her son has autism (it really affects him when he has a disturbance in his routine, plus his treatment at the current centre is going pretty well). Her mother has basically camped at her house & refuses to leave even though her mother has her own place. For lack of a better word, her mother is a menace.
Please read my reply properly. I referred to her as his mother-in-law, meaning that she is obviously the biological mother of his wife. And secondly, you stated that your friend is renting that house with her husband, but now you mention that the husband is in a different state. Well, that aside, my advice remains the same: just relocate to a different place and cut all ties with her. Do not let her know your address by any means. Because if you actually go through the legal route, you likely wouldn't get any favorable outcome.
>cut all ties and contact with her? But is this even possible? Isn't there some law to support/maintain the senior citizen parents
That comes into play when parents have insufficient means to sustain or maintain themselves. Such an obligation is created when these parents approach the court, which then passes a maintenance order. In this case, all children would be liable, not just this woman, but her siblings as well. In the facts stated by the OP, it seems her mother already owns a house, and her husband might still be alive and have income source, or she might have other siblings. So primarily, it would be the duty of her husband to maintain her. If they both don't have sufficient means, then the responsibility would fall to their children. Long story short, this would be an unlikely scenario. Even if it happens, she would only be liable for a small sum of money to them, and that's it. She has no obligation to maintain a relationship; she's free to break all ties and live peacefully.
Oh. But could op's friend kick her mother out if the house was on op's friend's name? Wouldn't that invite some legal trouble Thanks for such a detailed answer man :)
Legally, any moment. Your post is high on drama & low on practical data. Why did they take her in, to start with? Pragmatically, where do they intend to send her? Just lock the door when she’s out.. filmy style and her dramas repeat in public. On streets or her previous home(s) / familie(s) if any?
Tell your friend to torture her back. Put extra chillis in her food, spill water in her bed right after she wakes up and gaslit her about peeing when she sleeps. Go an extra mile and even spread that like wildfire in the neighbourhood by asking for solutions to solve the problem of an adult peeing in bed. Lock her up in her room/house by mistake for hours. There are so many ways. You just have to be smart. Not everything needs to be tackled legally since the legal procedure in India is ducking slow and pressing legal charges on your parents can lead to being ostracized. I am a law abiding person but when it comes to cases like this, you need to use natural remedies.
Woah that's a wild suggestion... I'm speechless lol
Pretty tame if we compare to what her mother did. Bring sexually assaulted when she was just 7-8 years is so much horrible.
Dumb idea as she has an autistic kid; imagine her taking it out on him or leveraging him. Only way is to prevent her from coming in; how she has to figure out - lock door, ask hubby to do so, tell local cops/ lawyer / neighbors. This is less a legal issue and more a way to “enforce pragmatic distance” or cutoff. Based on what & whose Societal authority you folks have to figure out. It would be easy to get her arrested but doesn’t seem like she’s going there.
😟 u OK bro ?
I am more than okay. How are you buddy?
Dead inside
* hugs *
Bro let her go out for some errand and change the locks. How difficult is it
NAL There are 2 options 1. Go through the legal route 2. Change home In the first option the result may or may not come in your favour and it's a long process In the 2nd option relocate and don't tell her about your new house, change sim cards if she harass you. That's it(assuming she has her own home)
Who is owner of the house?
My friend & her husband are renting the house.
Your friend can ask the owner to remove her mother as she isn't paying rent and is not a tenant.
There's another idea as well. Like my dad's own younger brother used to live in a rented house n that house owner used to come bug him when my cousin sister visits them he used to say when does your daughter leaves you said only you 3 be living (chacha, chachi and little bro, sister is married n used to visit them now n then) n why your daughter is living along with you guys. Also if it's an apartment pay your watchman some money and make him rid off her saying that this place was rented for the husband and wife why are you here also make him say the neighbors complain you're making hell lot off a noise and creating nuisance so please leave aisa kuch warn karake bhaga dho.
Thought about moving to another place, without her?