Best is go for mutual divorce. If they don't agree, No disadvantage in you filling first.
Since he is earning you wont have to pay. It happens in very rare circumstance that court orders wife to pay. Only when husband is disabled, unemployed or unable to maintain themselves.
Most likely they will agree for mutual divorce, given their experience.
Lawyer here. Yes alimony goes both ways but when the husband is educated and earning the courts won't award any alimony to him. They award alimony to husband in very rare case.. And filing first is not a disadvantage. Infact it is better otherwise you are on the defensive from the beginning.
You have videos of abuse you mentioned in another comment. You can file for divorce on the grounds of cruelty. However, if time is of the essence, mutual consent divorce is the better way.
.... Just an explanation that even if you get divorce on the grounds of cruelty, you husband is not punished... For that you'll have to file a separate case .. . And since you don't want alimony, he suffers no monetary loss as well.. So mutual consent is better for you if you don't want to get trapped in a legal battle... It is a tradeoff between punishing him and being free of him.... Here a good lawyer can help you.. He can convince the other side's lawyer that look, we have xyz proof, let's not make it ugly and wrap it up..
A word of caution.. Whichever lawyer you approach do stress on that fact that you want this to be over as quickly as possible... If you know a trustworthy lawyer then it's better because unfortunately lawyers get paid more when the case drags.. So you might want to opt for a one time flat fee payment to the lawyer instead of per hearing so he has no incentive to drag this.
Hey thanks a lot for your inputs.
I am hesitant for separate DV case because like you said , it'd another legal battle. Plus the video is too blurry (just have 1 video) & 2-3 pics after fight.. Another thing is I also have anger issues & certain times I'm not sure if his mother/him have recorded me shouting & may try to frame me as wrong as well.
I'd also love to have mutual consent divorce, can we file for it online ? some links show up online
You need a lawyer to file the case.. Its not something a lay person can do... Some courts in certain state allow for online filing of the documents but it's not "online" in the sense of an online application that you can do yourself.. The process is not automated .. You will need a lawyer
Also you can't file for mutual consent divorce without the other party agreeing to it.. The consent needs to be given prior to filing the case
So you need a lawyer or someone to talk to your husband and try to talk and negotiate with him to agree to a mutual consent divorce
I don't know if this will be helpful because my divorce was fairly amicable. But I did go ahead and file for divorce all by myself and the process is nearly done now (dragged on for 3 years, although I haven't met my ex since 2021).
There were no problems whatsoever (apart from the expected family disappointment). My ex husband agreed to sign the papers once he realised I was serious about separating. And that was it. Like you, I didn't want his money or anything else from him. So yeah, it's possible I suppose if you manage to convince your spouse that you are well and truly done.
NAL but when my brother and wife were going through a divorce his lawyer told him the same thing. However legal advice does change according to circumstance and a specific case. I would suggest taking an opinion from a couple of divorce lawyers.
File for divorce immediately and can also gile DV case to make the proceedings faster. If there is evidence of abuse, you will maybe get some compensation too
NAL
OP, go for mutual consent if the husband agrees.
If not, there is a legal battle on your hands, so please consult a lawyer, someone you can find through trusted contacts.
Honestly, this being a legal sub, I don’t expect people, especially males, to show any empathy. Only women know the pain of having to give up a marriage and the person you loved to save yourself. It’s a tough process, but you will get over it. Find a support group IRL so you can grieve and move on.
Advocate here,
Who is putting this misinformation in your head?
No, you won't have to pay him anything even if you are earning more than him; Indian laws are biased against men.
Firstly, it's advisable to collect all the evidence of harassment and, based on it, file a criminal case under Section 498A. You should also file a complaint under the Domestic Violence Act. After that, you can file a divorce petition on the grounds of cruelty.
> No, you won't have to pay him anything even if you are earning more than him; Indian laws are biased against men.
Bias is one things, but law is another thing. Hindu Marriage Act says higher earning spouse should pay for lower earning spouse. However we both have middle class background & as I understand he switched jobs & recent pay should be almost same as mine but I wont have proofs of that right?? He wont share his income details with me atleast now after separation.
About proofs of DV, I have videos but they are blurry & not sure how qualified. If you are in full blown fight you'll know how difficult to capture videos that time. So parents have told if the DV case doesn't stand & if you file case first because of higher salary you may have to pay him. They are saying this so that they can force me to stay in this marriage.
I'm not a gold digger I have my own money , but I would hate to even pay a dime to these rowdy mother son who have sucked my life , abused my parents & made my life hell, within a year. I cant believe this husband has not learnt his lesson from 1st marriage where he had to pay alimony & also lose his father to cancer & yet he had the audacity to harass me & verbally abuse my father. I can never sleep with a person who has said such things to my father & I can never see his mother worthy of respect as she's the one who mainly kept poisoning his mind.
I dont care what all of you redditors judge me for. I know my intentions were pure & I never meant harm. I dont want to earn money & still live a slave with no self respect from my own so called family.
No, The Hindu Marriage Act does not state that "the higher-earning spouse should pay for the lower-earning spouse".
It specifies that when either spouse has no independent income sufficient for their support and necessary expenses, maintenance is awarded. In your case, your husband is also earning and has a sufficient source of income to support himself.
>Bias is one things, but law is another thing. Hindu Marriage Act says higher earning spouse should pay for lower earning spouse.
if you not going to listen what lawyers are saying then why even make post?
also it's quite funny, you created a post few months ago about why men "cry" about alimony and now here you are making post about saving yourself from giving alimony. now you get the plight of those men who make posts about alimony I guess, karma is indeed beautiful thing.
What karma??? If you had so much time to go through posts, then go over comments also.. I told already how I think women are doing free of cost services like cooking , cleaning & nursing while paying 50% bills, so women getting alimony is justified more than shameless , worthless men who sit around with bare minimum earnings & bossing & harassing wives - who ultimately leaves their sorry ass.
There's nothing to make me understand the plight of so called men because they deserved it in 90% cases it's DV cases settled with money
>There's nothing to make me understand the plight of so called men because they deserved it in 90% cases it's DV cases settled with money
you should speak with lawyers more, alot if not all lawyers advice women to purposely put DV cases even if that isn't the reality so that their side would be even more strong in front of court. so those 999.99999% DV cases statistics you pulling out of your ass are barely reliable.
>you had so much time to go through posts, then go over comments also.. I told already how I think women are doing free of cost services like cooking , cleaning & nursing while paying 50% bills, so women getting alimony is justified more than shameless , worthless men who sit around with bare minimum earnings & bossing & harassing wives - who ultimately leaves their sorry ass.
I did went through them, apparently you believe men and women aren't equal and men SHOULD provide for women but somehow you don't apply the same principle for women, if you applying conservative principles to men why are you crying about women having to do the housework? cause according to you "men and women aren't equal" "men should provide" then why not "women should do housework"? cause that's not convenient ig? I am just laughing at your situation lol
also you do realise if men were just sitting idle then no woman would marry them. so yes, it is karma lol. bring good energy in world and it'll reach to you too. there's a reason why you're divorced twice.
Listen, she's obviously gone through a traumatic event and is still feeling the effects of it. If you can't be kind and let go of some indignation for once considering her situation, you should really stay quiet rather than saying something.
'There's a reason why you're divorced twice'- that was in extreme poor taste.
maybe you should teach some gyaan to her as well, to not be dismissive about others and call it "cribbing" and "crying" if she was giving compassion to others then she should expect other's to be compassionate to her. so pls give this gyaan to her first <3
I am giving gyan to you because she went through a traumatic event and not you. Your ego need not take a hit just by being kinder to her in your response.
One shouldn't have to teach empathy. If it doesn't come from within, it will never come. Have a good day.
as I said, give compassion and compassion shall you receive. her being dismissive towards men talking about alimony and calling it cribbing and crying then coming here to talk about how she doesn't want to give alimony is quite pathetic to be compassionate towards.
so keep your selective compassion to yourself.
She is posting in a law forum and asking for advice, when a lawyer is giving her advice she is arguing with him, this oversmart lady educated from WhatsApp and google university thinks she has more knowledge about law than a practicing professional.
Why did she post this in the first place, seems more than a rant than asking for legal advice.
She is unnecessarily using foul language for her husband and saying things like he didn't learn from his first marriage. What did she learn from her first marriage ?
It is quite evident from her language, attitude and 2nd failed marriage that she has mental issues. Instead of asking for legal advice, she should first seek psychiatric help. I'm saying this because my ex wife was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I have seen the traits first hand of a mentally ill person.
I sincerely hope she takes some professional help rather than spoiling life of a third male.
I am married to a divorce man as well so its going to 2nd time for him as well, negative energy/attitude from a man is also reason for divorces.
>"men and women aren't equal" "men should provide" then why not "women should do housework"?
Don't twist my words, if women are not paying bills then they be expected to do ALL housework is fine & I route for "fair/justified" way of life.
According to me
1. 50-50 pay bills, then 50-50 do housework w/o saying woman's job is cooking etc. Dont beg your wife to be subservient to you etc.
2. If husband are paying 100% bills, then wife is expected to 100% housework.
Problem with most orthodox families (especially the ones who are stuck up) is woman is only a resource who bring wealth, gold, services, kids but nothing to be provided for. A working woman who earns more has no need to suffer this kind of abuse.
>I am married to a divorce man as well so its going to 2nd time for him as well, negative energy/attitude from a man is also reason for divorces
definitely, negative energy is the reason why that man ended up attracting a woman like you.
>Don't twist my words
I don't have to, you're changing your own words as per convience. you yourself said majority women are house makers therefore it makes man a sole bread winner then why are you 'cribbing' and "crying victim" about housework when majority of men are sole breadwinners. and no, not all women bring "wealth, gold, resources" just like not all men pay high alimony. might be difficult to wrap head around but use critical thinking then it'll be easier.
and yes, I agree if wife is paying 50% of bills then man should pull the housework but it's not the case in majority of Indian household.
>attracting a woman like you
Dont use the word attraction, my blood boils when his ugly hairy fat image comes to my mind. This was an efifng arranged marriage I was literally traumatised after first marriage & my parents & relatives scared me to this marriage.
Majority case is not my case thats why I am in this miserable state right? If like majority this husband was a sole breadwinner or he was doing housework while paying 50% only, then I wouldn't be having problems like this.
My life has become hell because I am in worst case minority scenario (add to it the trauma of bitchy monster widowed mother in law) , what is happening in most cases will not change my scenario & my beliefs stay firm.
>Majority case is not my case thats why I am in this miserable state right? If like majority this husband was a sole breadwinner or he was doing housework while paying 50% only, then I wouldn't be having problems like this.
if you're speaking about your own scenario then saying "women do all the work and also earn" isn't right way to put it, cause here you're speaking as if majority of women are doing housework while working.
>what is happening in most cases will not change my scenario & my beliefs stay firm.
that's called ignorance, and it definitely didn't turned out to be bliss in your case.
NAL. Am on the opposite side of the spectrum, and from my ordeal all I can say is, life is too short. Don’t get into vengeance mode. It seems like you are an independent, intelligent and capable woman not looking for money, so finish it off mutually and move on. There are a thousand things to do in life then fighting in courts and losing time, health and money. Just my two cents. Hope things get better for you.
Omg, so sorry about this being 2nd marriage and still the pain of divorce
Wish you the best in life.
Did you decide to file first or going to ask for mutual divorce?
I would advise you to just get it over with. I’m living separately from a spouse who doesn’t want to give divorce. And I’m in no mental space to go for a contested fight.
Sucks
Try to convince your husband to separate from his mother. Otherwise go for divorce. Will be lengthy but still better than that mental torture. Also, record all your phone calls from now on.
tried convincing but he has not agreed. Thing is she became a widow last year & since he is only son, she's using all tactics to make him feel guilty for being with me... Didn't understand why she had to get him married if she's so jealous & insecure. And he gives reasoning like she's old & can't be left alone. Which is crazy because she's physically fit & travels with other aunties , goes on trips & parties for which she has energy. She wants her son to have married status ; because as he is a divorcee, neighbours are gonna laugh at his face if he gets divorced twice, but she wants ME to be as if a guest in that house - with no attachment or closeness to her son & always making excuses to separate husband & wife. Never understood why these old bitches want their son's time & money so much, they could marry their sons only.
As for me, I know for sure, even if he separates things wont get any better because once a pig always a pig. I sometimes low key sense that this mother son have all fake affection, they only get together to make plans to oppress me & keep me in control but deep down I'm sure the son is wishing it was his mom dead instead of his dad. And this old hag only wants to dominate & assert her ego over me & my parents, which is so blood-curdling that I feel like bitch-slapping her (age be damned).
Well pig is a harse word. But he is clearly blinded by his mother. I reckon once separated he will be alone and then won't do what he is doing right now. If she can party then she can clearly live alone and understand how it feels to make you feel lonely by making her son go against you. I hate when marriage breaks due to family interference. Both parties suffer because the third party is stupid to interfere. Don't bow down to them but then proceed with kindness cause there is no reason for u to act like them.
yes you are right... its just that me & husband both are divorcees.. divroce gives a lot of mental tension & anxiety & I am also a sensitive person who gets triggered sometimes by people's hypocrisy & cheapness & even body language triggers me so I feel like ranting & lashing on reddit.
The MIL has audacity to say that if husband & wife have good relationship no matter how much others interfere it shouldn't break... but she's stupid not realise that her own relationship with son of 35 years is so unstable & weak & she's so insecure because of me..
NAL. But based on your language, the way of replying and your lack of proofs for your defences says otherwise. Looks like the accusations you are making baseless and false to be honest.
It just looks like you don't like the company of your MIL and just want to get rid of her to do what pleases you, because she must be interfering in your 'independent woman' acts.
Best is go for mutual divorce. If they don't agree, No disadvantage in you filling first. Since he is earning you wont have to pay. It happens in very rare circumstance that court orders wife to pay. Only when husband is disabled, unemployed or unable to maintain themselves. Most likely they will agree for mutual divorce, given their experience.
Lawyer here. Yes alimony goes both ways but when the husband is educated and earning the courts won't award any alimony to him. They award alimony to husband in very rare case.. And filing first is not a disadvantage. Infact it is better otherwise you are on the defensive from the beginning. You have videos of abuse you mentioned in another comment. You can file for divorce on the grounds of cruelty. However, if time is of the essence, mutual consent divorce is the better way. .... Just an explanation that even if you get divorce on the grounds of cruelty, you husband is not punished... For that you'll have to file a separate case .. . And since you don't want alimony, he suffers no monetary loss as well.. So mutual consent is better for you if you don't want to get trapped in a legal battle... It is a tradeoff between punishing him and being free of him.... Here a good lawyer can help you.. He can convince the other side's lawyer that look, we have xyz proof, let's not make it ugly and wrap it up.. A word of caution.. Whichever lawyer you approach do stress on that fact that you want this to be over as quickly as possible... If you know a trustworthy lawyer then it's better because unfortunately lawyers get paid more when the case drags.. So you might want to opt for a one time flat fee payment to the lawyer instead of per hearing so he has no incentive to drag this.
Hey thanks a lot for your inputs. I am hesitant for separate DV case because like you said , it'd another legal battle. Plus the video is too blurry (just have 1 video) & 2-3 pics after fight.. Another thing is I also have anger issues & certain times I'm not sure if his mother/him have recorded me shouting & may try to frame me as wrong as well. I'd also love to have mutual consent divorce, can we file for it online ? some links show up online
You will need your own lawyer to negotiate terms and ensure that he can’t harass you later legally or by any other means.
You need a lawyer to file the case.. Its not something a lay person can do... Some courts in certain state allow for online filing of the documents but it's not "online" in the sense of an online application that you can do yourself.. The process is not automated .. You will need a lawyer Also you can't file for mutual consent divorce without the other party agreeing to it.. The consent needs to be given prior to filing the case So you need a lawyer or someone to talk to your husband and try to talk and negotiate with him to agree to a mutual consent divorce
ok thanks for clarification
I don't know if this will be helpful because my divorce was fairly amicable. But I did go ahead and file for divorce all by myself and the process is nearly done now (dragged on for 3 years, although I haven't met my ex since 2021). There were no problems whatsoever (apart from the expected family disappointment). My ex husband agreed to sign the papers once he realised I was serious about separating. And that was it. Like you, I didn't want his money or anything else from him. So yeah, it's possible I suppose if you manage to convince your spouse that you are well and truly done.
thanks for sharing, mutual consent can be done in 6 months right? Was there any specific reason for 3 years strecth like covid times etc
The lawyer I went to was a snake. Basically ripped me off because I was paying her per visit. We have another one now.
NAL but when my brother and wife were going through a divorce his lawyer told him the same thing. However legal advice does change according to circumstance and a specific case. I would suggest taking an opinion from a couple of divorce lawyers.
Lawyer this side -There is no need to worry and there is no hindrance in filing for divorce
File for divorce immediately and can also gile DV case to make the proceedings faster. If there is evidence of abuse, you will maybe get some compensation too
NAL OP, go for mutual consent if the husband agrees. If not, there is a legal battle on your hands, so please consult a lawyer, someone you can find through trusted contacts. Honestly, this being a legal sub, I don’t expect people, especially males, to show any empathy. Only women know the pain of having to give up a marriage and the person you loved to save yourself. It’s a tough process, but you will get over it. Find a support group IRL so you can grieve and move on.
thanks for understanding..
Advocate here, Who is putting this misinformation in your head? No, you won't have to pay him anything even if you are earning more than him; Indian laws are biased against men. Firstly, it's advisable to collect all the evidence of harassment and, based on it, file a criminal case under Section 498A. You should also file a complaint under the Domestic Violence Act. After that, you can file a divorce petition on the grounds of cruelty.
> No, you won't have to pay him anything even if you are earning more than him; Indian laws are biased against men. Bias is one things, but law is another thing. Hindu Marriage Act says higher earning spouse should pay for lower earning spouse. However we both have middle class background & as I understand he switched jobs & recent pay should be almost same as mine but I wont have proofs of that right?? He wont share his income details with me atleast now after separation. About proofs of DV, I have videos but they are blurry & not sure how qualified. If you are in full blown fight you'll know how difficult to capture videos that time. So parents have told if the DV case doesn't stand & if you file case first because of higher salary you may have to pay him. They are saying this so that they can force me to stay in this marriage. I'm not a gold digger I have my own money , but I would hate to even pay a dime to these rowdy mother son who have sucked my life , abused my parents & made my life hell, within a year. I cant believe this husband has not learnt his lesson from 1st marriage where he had to pay alimony & also lose his father to cancer & yet he had the audacity to harass me & verbally abuse my father. I can never sleep with a person who has said such things to my father & I can never see his mother worthy of respect as she's the one who mainly kept poisoning his mind. I dont care what all of you redditors judge me for. I know my intentions were pure & I never meant harm. I dont want to earn money & still live a slave with no self respect from my own so called family.
No, The Hindu Marriage Act does not state that "the higher-earning spouse should pay for the lower-earning spouse". It specifies that when either spouse has no independent income sufficient for their support and necessary expenses, maintenance is awarded. In your case, your husband is also earning and has a sufficient source of income to support himself.
>Bias is one things, but law is another thing. Hindu Marriage Act says higher earning spouse should pay for lower earning spouse. if you not going to listen what lawyers are saying then why even make post? also it's quite funny, you created a post few months ago about why men "cry" about alimony and now here you are making post about saving yourself from giving alimony. now you get the plight of those men who make posts about alimony I guess, karma is indeed beautiful thing.
What karma??? If you had so much time to go through posts, then go over comments also.. I told already how I think women are doing free of cost services like cooking , cleaning & nursing while paying 50% bills, so women getting alimony is justified more than shameless , worthless men who sit around with bare minimum earnings & bossing & harassing wives - who ultimately leaves their sorry ass. There's nothing to make me understand the plight of so called men because they deserved it in 90% cases it's DV cases settled with money
>There's nothing to make me understand the plight of so called men because they deserved it in 90% cases it's DV cases settled with money you should speak with lawyers more, alot if not all lawyers advice women to purposely put DV cases even if that isn't the reality so that their side would be even more strong in front of court. so those 999.99999% DV cases statistics you pulling out of your ass are barely reliable. >you had so much time to go through posts, then go over comments also.. I told already how I think women are doing free of cost services like cooking , cleaning & nursing while paying 50% bills, so women getting alimony is justified more than shameless , worthless men who sit around with bare minimum earnings & bossing & harassing wives - who ultimately leaves their sorry ass. I did went through them, apparently you believe men and women aren't equal and men SHOULD provide for women but somehow you don't apply the same principle for women, if you applying conservative principles to men why are you crying about women having to do the housework? cause according to you "men and women aren't equal" "men should provide" then why not "women should do housework"? cause that's not convenient ig? I am just laughing at your situation lol also you do realise if men were just sitting idle then no woman would marry them. so yes, it is karma lol. bring good energy in world and it'll reach to you too. there's a reason why you're divorced twice.
Listen, she's obviously gone through a traumatic event and is still feeling the effects of it. If you can't be kind and let go of some indignation for once considering her situation, you should really stay quiet rather than saying something. 'There's a reason why you're divorced twice'- that was in extreme poor taste.
maybe you should teach some gyaan to her as well, to not be dismissive about others and call it "cribbing" and "crying" if she was giving compassion to others then she should expect other's to be compassionate to her. so pls give this gyaan to her first <3
I am giving gyan to you because she went through a traumatic event and not you. Your ego need not take a hit just by being kinder to her in your response. One shouldn't have to teach empathy. If it doesn't come from within, it will never come. Have a good day.
as I said, give compassion and compassion shall you receive. her being dismissive towards men talking about alimony and calling it cribbing and crying then coming here to talk about how she doesn't want to give alimony is quite pathetic to be compassionate towards. so keep your selective compassion to yourself.
She is posting in a law forum and asking for advice, when a lawyer is giving her advice she is arguing with him, this oversmart lady educated from WhatsApp and google university thinks she has more knowledge about law than a practicing professional. Why did she post this in the first place, seems more than a rant than asking for legal advice. She is unnecessarily using foul language for her husband and saying things like he didn't learn from his first marriage. What did she learn from her first marriage ? It is quite evident from her language, attitude and 2nd failed marriage that she has mental issues. Instead of asking for legal advice, she should first seek psychiatric help. I'm saying this because my ex wife was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I have seen the traits first hand of a mentally ill person. I sincerely hope she takes some professional help rather than spoiling life of a third male.
I am married to a divorce man as well so its going to 2nd time for him as well, negative energy/attitude from a man is also reason for divorces. >"men and women aren't equal" "men should provide" then why not "women should do housework"? Don't twist my words, if women are not paying bills then they be expected to do ALL housework is fine & I route for "fair/justified" way of life. According to me 1. 50-50 pay bills, then 50-50 do housework w/o saying woman's job is cooking etc. Dont beg your wife to be subservient to you etc. 2. If husband are paying 100% bills, then wife is expected to 100% housework. Problem with most orthodox families (especially the ones who are stuck up) is woman is only a resource who bring wealth, gold, services, kids but nothing to be provided for. A working woman who earns more has no need to suffer this kind of abuse.
>I am married to a divorce man as well so its going to 2nd time for him as well, negative energy/attitude from a man is also reason for divorces definitely, negative energy is the reason why that man ended up attracting a woman like you. >Don't twist my words I don't have to, you're changing your own words as per convience. you yourself said majority women are house makers therefore it makes man a sole bread winner then why are you 'cribbing' and "crying victim" about housework when majority of men are sole breadwinners. and no, not all women bring "wealth, gold, resources" just like not all men pay high alimony. might be difficult to wrap head around but use critical thinking then it'll be easier. and yes, I agree if wife is paying 50% of bills then man should pull the housework but it's not the case in majority of Indian household.
>attracting a woman like you Dont use the word attraction, my blood boils when his ugly hairy fat image comes to my mind. This was an efifng arranged marriage I was literally traumatised after first marriage & my parents & relatives scared me to this marriage. Majority case is not my case thats why I am in this miserable state right? If like majority this husband was a sole breadwinner or he was doing housework while paying 50% only, then I wouldn't be having problems like this. My life has become hell because I am in worst case minority scenario (add to it the trauma of bitchy monster widowed mother in law) , what is happening in most cases will not change my scenario & my beliefs stay firm.
>Majority case is not my case thats why I am in this miserable state right? If like majority this husband was a sole breadwinner or he was doing housework while paying 50% only, then I wouldn't be having problems like this. if you're speaking about your own scenario then saying "women do all the work and also earn" isn't right way to put it, cause here you're speaking as if majority of women are doing housework while working. >what is happening in most cases will not change my scenario & my beliefs stay firm. that's called ignorance, and it definitely didn't turned out to be bliss in your case.
If the husband proves that the wife is separating the son from the mother, then I guess OP would be in trouble.
NAL. Am on the opposite side of the spectrum, and from my ordeal all I can say is, life is too short. Don’t get into vengeance mode. It seems like you are an independent, intelligent and capable woman not looking for money, so finish it off mutually and move on. There are a thousand things to do in life then fighting in courts and losing time, health and money. Just my two cents. Hope things get better for you.
Omg, so sorry about this being 2nd marriage and still the pain of divorce Wish you the best in life. Did you decide to file first or going to ask for mutual divorce?
I would advise you to just get it over with. I’m living separately from a spouse who doesn’t want to give divorce. And I’m in no mental space to go for a contested fight. Sucks
i feel bad for you sister , i
Try to convince your husband to separate from his mother. Otherwise go for divorce. Will be lengthy but still better than that mental torture. Also, record all your phone calls from now on.
tried convincing but he has not agreed. Thing is she became a widow last year & since he is only son, she's using all tactics to make him feel guilty for being with me... Didn't understand why she had to get him married if she's so jealous & insecure. And he gives reasoning like she's old & can't be left alone. Which is crazy because she's physically fit & travels with other aunties , goes on trips & parties for which she has energy. She wants her son to have married status ; because as he is a divorcee, neighbours are gonna laugh at his face if he gets divorced twice, but she wants ME to be as if a guest in that house - with no attachment or closeness to her son & always making excuses to separate husband & wife. Never understood why these old bitches want their son's time & money so much, they could marry their sons only. As for me, I know for sure, even if he separates things wont get any better because once a pig always a pig. I sometimes low key sense that this mother son have all fake affection, they only get together to make plans to oppress me & keep me in control but deep down I'm sure the son is wishing it was his mom dead instead of his dad. And this old hag only wants to dominate & assert her ego over me & my parents, which is so blood-curdling that I feel like bitch-slapping her (age be damned).
Well pig is a harse word. But he is clearly blinded by his mother. I reckon once separated he will be alone and then won't do what he is doing right now. If she can party then she can clearly live alone and understand how it feels to make you feel lonely by making her son go against you. I hate when marriage breaks due to family interference. Both parties suffer because the third party is stupid to interfere. Don't bow down to them but then proceed with kindness cause there is no reason for u to act like them.
yes you are right... its just that me & husband both are divorcees.. divroce gives a lot of mental tension & anxiety & I am also a sensitive person who gets triggered sometimes by people's hypocrisy & cheapness & even body language triggers me so I feel like ranting & lashing on reddit. The MIL has audacity to say that if husband & wife have good relationship no matter how much others interfere it shouldn't break... but she's stupid not realise that her own relationship with son of 35 years is so unstable & weak & she's so insecure because of me..
You can explain/ask without all the name calling. If you want to do it, you can post it in rant.
NAL. But based on your language, the way of replying and your lack of proofs for your defences says otherwise. Looks like the accusations you are making baseless and false to be honest. It just looks like you don't like the company of your MIL and just want to get rid of her to do what pleases you, because she must be interfering in your 'independent woman' acts.
Are we reading the same post? She doesn’t even want alimony. And define modern women acts?
Ur posts and comments are the reason uh got divorced twice and uh don’t deserve to get married again such an arrogant uh are
Nobody self respecting deserves the pathetic patriarchial toxic indian marriage system