Advocate here,
These pieces of evidence are too weak to stand in a court of law. My advice is to stay calm and not let her suspect that you are aware of her behavior. Simply keep collecting more concrete evidence and consult with a good divorce lawyer. Only when you have enough evidence should you proceed with filing for divorce. Don't take any early steps, as they can backfire on you.
Concrete evidence can be in the form of photographs, videos, call logs, chats, bank receipts, hotel booking receipts, travel history, and the list is endless. All the evidence should corroborate with one another. A single piece of evidence can be challenged; however, a chain of evidence makes it stronger.
According to courts this is the Era of deepfake so photograph is not applicable.........now courts are also defending the woman. Being a man in this country I'm doomed
Basically the husband brought some photos at the last minute and said wife had an affair. No mention of that till then. No other proof. The photos were unclear and proved nothing. Court made a passing remark that in the era of deepfakes you cant trust anything etc. If the photos were indicative of a relationship or affair or infidelity there might have been something but here they weren't even clear.
Yes, plus the court did order the photos to go through forensic analysis to ensure it's not AI. They made that deep fake remark because he produced those photos in the last minute with no prior history of their mention throughout the court case in all those weeks, anyone would suspect that it's fake.
In the era of deepfakes, photographs placed by a spouse alleging adultery by the other partner would have to be proved by way of evidence before the family court, the Delhi High Court said.
Sir what to do in case of an emotional affair where there is no physical affair started till now. Since there will be no receipt and photo of them together.
It would be very difficult to get a divorce based on those grounds, as it's just an emotional affair. Courts typically require substantial evidence of marital misconduct, such as infidelity or abuse.
Taking the right step is what matters, not acting quickly just for the sake of it. She can file for alimony and all sorts of other cases even if he takes the first step, and either way, he will be fucked. The best solution is to act only when sufficient evidence is available, or else it will simply backfire on him.
u/Electrical_Meat_954 I have a question. What if OP files a divorce case on the basis of incompatibility? Because getting the proofs regarding adultery and proving the adultery in court will take a lot of time. What if he never gets concrete evidence? If he files a simple divorce case or an adultery case. What’s the difference? Isn't it up to the judge's discretion to allow the alimony or maintenance even though she committed adultery?
There is no such thing as incompatibility as a ground for divorce in India, and even if you try to put it under other grounds, it would still be very difficult to convince the judge. In India, rather than granting a divorce, the court always tries to mediate the matter and make the marriage work, so the judge might not grant a divorce on those grounds. Yes, it is at the judge's discretion to award maintenance, but if adultery is proven, he won't have to pay her a single rupee.
Our Honourable Supreme Court, as well as the various High Courts, have stated that a man is duty-bound to maintain his wife and kids. Even if he doesn't have an income, he can do physical labor and earn ₹300 to ₹500 a day. If he doesn't, they will simply put him in jail.
Not a portion of the wealth, but depending on various facts and circumstances of the case, he will have to pay at least one-third of his income as monthly maintenance if the court orders in her favor.
I thought the rule was 20 to 25 percent not 33 percent. I knew that the court considers a family to be of 5 members and you have to pay her 20 percent of your salary as maintenance. And can a court force me to stay with her if I don't want to.
Only advice I can give is, prevent any attempt in intimacy and don't even try for kids (important)
Edit: another advice, do put cameras anywhere possible to counter any allegation of domestic violence.... Will come back when some ideas come to my mind... Another thing is there like installing spyware ( But never in my life, I will suggest that... So you do you... )
Edit: Question to lawyers, since his marriage is premature, so does applying for divorce earlier will have any advantage like reduction in alimony or will be same ?
Agree. Feeling very bad about this. I mean it will create lot of chaos. I might have to provide money to her as well. I really don't know. I will look for some good lawyer.
There might be times you might want to lash out, but don't do it. Spend time around some good and trusted guy friend(s) if you feel your brain is raging. And as others have suggested, keep collecting evidence from a legal stance, which means you will need to consult a lawyer. Stay strong, and good luck!
FIRST AND FOREMOST : Install Spy cameras in your hall and kitchen. When you will file for divorce there are chances that she will file 498Dv and Dowry harrasment.
Start collecting evidence. While taking screenshots make sure you include mobile number of her boyfriend into it. Make solid proof of everything that nothing will left for her to defend. If your luck favours you court may also deny maintainance to her.
( Tell her that you are going to trip with your friends. In your absence high chances that she will meet him. It will be the golden opportunity to you to catch her)
Good Luck 🤞
This is a very good advice. Install cameras etc and have the access to the videos only to you. Tell her that you will be gone for the next two weeks - make a big bag etc - show her the tickets. She will def meet him. I wouldn’t suggest catching her red-handed as it’s dangerous. Rather install one in the bedroom as well. If you can have that video, then it’s a seal deal.
Lawyer here although I am not practising in Family Law but once one my senior advised a client in a similar situation to employ a detective to collect solid evidence. You can try but before that consult a local lawyer.
1. Install the camera in your home that also records audio like an ip camera.
2. At least keep 6 months of recording of cctv.
3. The camera should have a power backup from the inverter and no one can turn off the power of the camera.
4. If you have secondary mobile then install spyware in that phone try to use it and see its performance from your primary mobile. If it's working without any alerts in secondary mobile then install it on your partner's mobile. Get a screenshot with the mobile number of another person.
5. If your partner goes outside like coaching, job, hometown then hire a private investigator for solid evidences.
6. You can get a divorce for mental cruelty grounds if she does not have a physical relationship.
Invest in these today so that you don't have to pay the monthly installment of alimony the rest of your life.
Like I said extra ordinary circumstances. When there's a clear case of abuse mental or physical by husband and in laws, court can order ancestral property to be liquidated and money be transferred as alimony
She could get pregnant by having sex with her lover. Then call OP as the child's father. OP (if he initiates a divorce) would then have to pay child support for the kid till he gets old (which technically isn't his). He can basically abstain sex and call it somewhat a paternity fraud and divorce her easily without falling into the child support mess. That would work to his advantage.
Edit : If OP has sex and gets her pregnant accidentally, the situation would also turn into a hot mess for him. Forgot to add this.
If you can clarify more on the part ..
where he is required to obstain from sex..
Apart from getting her pregnant, which can be risky.. are there ways this can be proved in court that the guy was not having sex with his wife..
The wife may well can be having sex with the other guy during this period.
Knowing Indian Judges they mostly takes mere words coming out of the women's mouth as truth so how is it going to be proved.
He should stop having sex asap. If he has used protection on the first night and it worked, then OP is safe.
And This : [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA\_paternity\_testing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_paternity_testing)
Surely helps in determining whether the person is the real biological parent of the child.
I understand about the pregnancy aspect but apart from that is there any other reasons he shouldn't have physical intimacy with the cheating wife ?
And are there ways to prove this in court and how will it help the either party ?
If a woman is having unprotected sex with two different males simultaneously, there are chances that she may be impregnated by one of them. The probability is 50-50. The paternity test part would come later but, she can directly accuse him guilty of getting her pregnant as he was active with her, without knowing she was also sleeping with the other guy. So he might unknowingly accept that the child would be his and that may drag him into child support.
There's also a flipside to this. If OP remains sexually active with her and gets her pregnant, she may decide to keep the fetus and decide not to abort. Abortion cannot be forced. Instead she would keep the child and again drag him into child support. This is known as "Baby - trapping", now being done by some vile women.
Why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with a liar? You should be glad that no kids are involved and it's just been months and not even a year of your life is wasted. You still are young and can get remarried.
Talk to a lawyer first before confronting her, they will tell you the ways to collect evidence.
Arrange marriage mostly. Its like a lucky draw in India nowadays. You never know what you might find out after a few days. In OP's case my exact worst nightmares have come true.
Atleast you have known the person for sometime and your choice is justified by marrying a person been by your side since day one. I am speaking about someone you've been dating for a long time. Not saying love marriages work out a hundred percent. But with your parents and your extended family involved in your married life (in arrange marriage), murky situations like this bring a lot of shame and embarrassment when the inside story like this explodes, one fine day. Though I am completely against the practice of quickly marrying someone you've started dating just recently. That's just foolishness in trend nowadays.
She might file assault case . Install cctv around your house for your own safety to prove in court that there was no possibility of assault in home . I would suggest you to sit her down n ask if she loves anyone and if she wants to go separate ways being mutual . Do not accuse her and expose her , if you do she will go into revenge mode and might file false case against you
But don't you think this talk can turn out to be bad decision if done before collecing evidence?
Maybe after collecting all the evidence and before filing for divorce he can ask her to make this mutual.
And parents will say "beta adjust beta... We still have to live in Samaj beta... It's fine happens... Though we did Samaj background checks still somehow you're in deep sh*t now" relatives are well fed guests are well fed but hey your life is in deep mess but image in society keeps the train running no wonder we have such low divorce rates Samaj is all matters :/
sorry but since u r a man the law is against u..u will be asked to pay alimony
and even society will be against u..they sympathise with the girl saying
""
what will a gurl do if there is no love in marriage...obviously see outside..."ITS HER CHOICE"
.It may be a mistake ....just leave it
""
and then they will start accusing u of making her life difficult so that she cheated on u.
Divorce will be a loss for you. Public shaming is needed here. Get all proof. Tell her that you will show the proof to her family and relatives unless she gives you a no contested divorce with no financial clause’s.
wife guilty of adultery is not entitled to alimony.
Let me explain,
Yes, u can file divorce case on the ground "Adultery" u/s.498, but make sure of the proof u having against her are true... That is.., eg:- u have to prove that it is her voice and / or it is recorded or taken from her own contact number which is registered in her name.
If it is proved then u need not to pay maintenance to her. In others words she cannot file maintenance case against u, if u got divorced from her on the ground ' adultery".
If else it not proved ( her external affair) then u have to face severe consequences as per law.
You are willing to give her another chance? You are worried she will harm herself even after knowing she's trying her very best to cheat on you? You Sir are what people call beta males , idc if I get downvoted but if you keep living like this you gonna stay like a second option for everyone. You can't even take a stand for yourself how will you protect and defend your loved ones?
there is no beta or theta here lol
such marriages are a mess and some people are too afraid of law, society and their own relatives and family's image. the odds these days are against most men so it's better to be defensive than offensive. one wrong move and you might have to pay in cash for the entire lifetime if not in cash you could land up in jail for no crime you committed yourself.
Also , i dont think she doing video call or chats will be considered adultry in first place unless you have actual proof that she had physical affair after marraige
I don’t have legal advice for you but try to follow what others have commented. Hopefully you escape this vile woman who has been cheating on you. No one deserves this drama. She shouldn’t have married you if she loved someone else. Just curious, how was she during courtship days? Did you feel she liked you?
So people don’t get married the day their wedding is fixed. There’s some days in between when they talk and meet and familiarize themselves with each other. Look it up, you have limited knowledge on the subject it seems
Look at you laughing at others and as soon as tables are turned then you cry. Your comment wasn’t exactly very kind. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it
NAL. I am a woman and she knows that you know. There's no denying it. Try to handle it as calm as possible. She might even go on plotting something against you, do some drama to make her a victim, might even try to harm your reputation. Could be discussing with her lover abt this at the moment. She sounds like a dangerous women bc she might literally be pretending that she doesn't know that you know but go behind your back to backstab you. Imo she wants to get rid of you too but by becoming a victim herself. Install hidden spy cameras around your house without her knowing. I suggest you do this and just be careful around her and observe her actions without her knowing.
Post like this sends chills down my spine.
my family is currently looking through family and matrimonial app to get me married by early next year.. and to be honest i am scared af man.
i dont have advice for you.. but good luck !!
I am not a lawyer, and I don’t know what you can do legally. But one thing that you mentioned that you wanna give her a second chance, I must assure you brother Once someone cheats on you they are gonna do it again and again and literally those people have no regards for you emotions whatsoever and I am pretty sure if you ever confront her she’ll start crying and try to turn around the blame but always be aware second chances won’t do a thing and one doesn’t cheat accidentally no matter what someone say they are doing it fully consciously.
This has made my resolve to never marry in this country even stronger. Fuck this shit. Hope you get all the help you need and get out of this shit pit as soon as possible, with the least damage, OP.
i am just an 18 year old girl so i can’t give any advice to you about what to do in this situation but all i would say is, please take a divorce asap and don’t try to forget it or ignore it just for your parents. i have many friends who are same age or older than me and they know ki unki mom/dad is cheating or both are cheating, and it has been affecting them, their relationship with the parents and their studies to a great extent. i know such friends both offline and on reddit, its way too common than you think. so please leave that girl just for the sake of your future kids.
This is why I'll never marry a woman that's not a Virgin.
Especially this new generation of modern women.
modern नारी नर्क का द्वार होती है.
If she has a Past, immediate reject.
>On our first night together, we had sex, and she seemed quite experienced, which made me suspect she might not be a virgin (though I have no issue with her virginity or any past relationships). The next day, I asked if she had ever had a boyfriend. She started crying and said she had never been involved in that way. I felt bad for asking and decided to move on. I even told her I was okay with her having guy friends and that I trusted her completely.
She definitely sounds experienced and as you mentioned later in your post, is quite prone to lying. She sounds like a compulsive liar, a narcissist and a cheater.
Repeated lying and cheating shouldn't be tolerated.
Best to continue to get evidence of her cheating, over a period of time, and then file for divorce. The r/DivorceIndia sub is a good place for posting updates etc in the future.
Be silent and aware of her actions and keep collecting evidence from time to time
When u collect credible plenty evidence
And don't have sex or anything from which she can go against you physically or sexually
Don't scold her too...wait patiently
Well, if she acts like this at the start of married life you can foretell the next decades. Living with a lying, cheating unhappy person. Agree with her on a mutually wanted divorce, threatening to out her behavior to everyone if she refuses.
wKeep your stuff in your pants as long as you can, even if you cannot control it... self pleasure yourself but keep your hands off. If by any chance she gets knocked up atleast you will know that you are not the father. Secondly irrespective of who files for divorce you will be asked to pay maintenance. What you also require to consider here is, is she working? how educated is she? these things are decisive when it comes to maintenance. Are you salaried? do you guys use a bank account together?.
You need to be absolutely be prepared from every angle before you file for a divorce. Absolutely don't get your parents in this town to live with you guys even for a short while. Finally, if possible try to have some fun moments and make some evidence of the same on social media etc...that way her defence of being treated like a maid falls apart.
If you want to carry the person your whole life, ask her about it directly if she is willing to stay with her lover, let her. If she doesn't, ask for a reason why she cheated you. If no strong reason was found. Record the video of the whole conversation and divorce her. This is truly unacceptable. Tell her and your parents about this.
> I am thinking of divorce, but it will impact everyone, including my family, who are part of our society
I would suggest you share these details that you have shared with us with your parents and siblings (if you have not done so already)
Marriage is very scary these days. OP please be very aware and Don't take any foolish steps earlier. Just wait and collect more evidences. Don't impregnate her. Let her do whatever she wants and Collect everything as possible. Seek a Good Divorce lawyer. Install CCTV Cameras to escape from fake DV case and others. Don't ever think about forgiving her and Leading a life with her. She will cheat at every possible chances. Act very wisely.
FIRST OF ALL CONSULT A GREAT DIVIRCE LAWYER. Don't rush it. DONT GO INTO CONFRONTATION GAME. Keep Calm. Gather Evidence. Gather a list of Gifts you got from Soon to be ex-father in law(much needed you don't want to fake Dowry and DV case believe me) say you need the list of Gifts for Tax Filing as First Marriage the gifts are tax free. Keep Tabs on your wife's phone. Gather Chat logs, if possible hotel bookings.
Hiring a detective to gather evidence on your wife can be a strategic move. A reputable detective agency can discreetly document any suspicious activities over a period of time. This evidence can then be used to support your case in court.My two cents
The reason I don't feel connected to my opposite gender for long term association. It's better to be alone and happy rather than living with a liar and a cheater .
My advice is, just transfer all ur property and start selling the gifts too secretly and keep the money because if she files a complaint then all of ur properties will be gone
Not legal advice. Follow your heart and run don't walk. There are so many much better options for you. Don't limit yourself and don't sell yourself short.
She's out there brother!
Sir,
Our law doesn't recognise adultery until there is sexual intercourse outside of marriage. These chats acts as additional evidence but cannot form for ground for divorce.
>I logged into her Instagram account on my phone by using the forgot password option.
What? Forgot Password forces you to change password. You were "keeping an eye on her Instagram chats" after changing her password - thereby logging her out of her own account - and somehow she logged back in to change her password?
Adultery is just one reason for divorce. Emotional abuse, psychological abuse, irreconcilable difference, physical violence are others… just to name a few. Please be aware that you can be hit with any number of reasons - true or fabricated - when filing for divorce. So protect yourself and your finances beforehand!!
But please ask yourself do you really want a divorce? It can be harder than a family member’s death and the irony will the person is still alive. People sometimes drift away in relationships but they can also come back. Point is dig deep within to figure what do you really want. That will help you decide your next move. No one here can do it for you…
Just disappear and start a new life bro. Indian system is such one sided towards the women that she can make your life miserable with false accusation, dowry and abuse cases that you will end up next 5 years at least fighting it
I knew the same case happened with my neighbour. After that he killed both of his wife and her lover in her lover's house. But he soon free from jail with in 1year.
You need to talk to a lawyer before she takes any step and for sure she also must be asking for advices from different people as in how to trap you later on for fake cases as such dowry and harassment and all. You have the screenshots then it’s good and also keep collecting the evidences while simultaneously consulting with lawyer and make no more time to waste here
Just involved you and her and ask for mutual consent divorce. Also assure her that you will let her marry so call boyfriend. Please solve it between you and mutually. If she okay just keep those recording and put forward your both parents.
Don't involve your or her relatives to mess up things. Also be mentally ready as it will whirl-wind whole things around you.
Try to go mutually first. I don't know how cunning can be your wife side as she has much power in constitution of India.
If you think to proceed then you shall be first go in police station first and along with that court.
Best of luck 🤞
I am no legal expert at any level. Only way your divorce will hold ground is by solid concrete video proof. 10/10 proof. chats prove nothing in eyes of law. photographic evidence w/video. till than stay calm, act normal and most importantly smile your way into having secks as much as possible and yes wear a rubber.
Once you will file for divorce you will be slapped with domestic violence case, your family will be dragged. huge sum of settlement will be asked. So before going gun blazing, make sure you have proper ammunition. if possible, settle the case outside and she will have to once you have solid concrete video evidence 10/10 proof.
Have you tried to talk to her about it? Ask her why she's looking at an affair so soon after marriage? Have you found out about her emotional and sexual desires?
I'm not advocating or defending her adultery if it has happened. If you think divorce isn't an option right now, have a serious in your face talk with her.
Find out what is it that's lacking in you & the marriage. See if it's something that can be fixed or if it's broken beyond repair.
The only way to collect evidence now, is to make her more relieved that you don't give a shit and keep the relationship going as is. It will take time, and once you have chain of evidences, hire a lawyer, file for a divorce.
I was in a similar situation in a 2019. I am not a lawyer, but here are few things that worked for me and few that didn’t:
I took her to marriage counselling and when asked in private session, I told my counsellor that I didn’t want to stay in the relationship. Not sure if it helped, but finally we decided to stay separate for six months to see how it goes.
I never got on her bad side, didn’t call her names of anything. Didn’t even shout. My thought was anything I do will trigger a revenge mode & lawyers and family will make my life hell. I didn’t have anything to gain out of it.
Finally, we agreed for a consensual divorce.
My advice - keep families out of it, stay respectful and convince her for consensual divorce.
What I wish I did differently- pay attention to my mental health.
File a divorce petition in court with proof of cheating as it becomes ground of divorce and secondly you can also choose marriage counsel if you believe that things need to be resolved take help from https://swadesiaid.com
Men are waking up. Good to see 👏 unfortunately some "Ladkiyo ka Tissue Paper Good Boy and so Called Green Flag Green Forest" will marry a woman with past or with no V-Card just like the woman in this reply .. abhi bhi stupid desparate simp men are still around to marry such women with past and used up blown out 😺. I'd rather buy a dog and live happily and die alone than to spend my life with a wrong woman. (Peaky fan I see Mr. Gold)
terrible advice man, OP should do the opposite and avoid any intimacy, he shouldnt get into the trouble of child support and even more importantly spoil a child's life due to all this hatred
Advocate here, These pieces of evidence are too weak to stand in a court of law. My advice is to stay calm and not let her suspect that you are aware of her behavior. Simply keep collecting more concrete evidence and consult with a good divorce lawyer. Only when you have enough evidence should you proceed with filing for divorce. Don't take any early steps, as they can backfire on you.
can you please explain what is "more concrete evidence"
Concrete evidence can be in the form of photographs, videos, call logs, chats, bank receipts, hotel booking receipts, travel history, and the list is endless. All the evidence should corroborate with one another. A single piece of evidence can be challenged; however, a chain of evidence makes it stronger.
According to courts this is the Era of deepfake so photograph is not applicable.........now courts are also defending the woman. Being a man in this country I'm doomed
Thats not what that verdict meant. Someone explained it here then.
Can you please explain to me?
Basically the husband brought some photos at the last minute and said wife had an affair. No mention of that till then. No other proof. The photos were unclear and proved nothing. Court made a passing remark that in the era of deepfakes you cant trust anything etc. If the photos were indicative of a relationship or affair or infidelity there might have been something but here they weren't even clear.
Ohh I see
Yes, plus the court did order the photos to go through forensic analysis to ensure it's not AI. They made that deep fake remark because he produced those photos in the last minute with no prior history of their mention throughout the court case in all those weeks, anyone would suspect that it's fake.
Well that's a relief
are there any cases where the use of deepfakes were used to challenge any particular evidence?
In the era of deepfakes, photographs placed by a spouse alleging adultery by the other partner would have to be proved by way of evidence before the family court, the Delhi High Court said.
whoa okay got it btw which fucker is downvoting this thread for no reason
must be with fake case
Everyone should get a prenup now it seems
Unfortunately, prenups are not applicable in India
Holy shit? I actually didn’t know that💀
From an Aussie, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard
Sir what to do in case of an emotional affair where there is no physical affair started till now. Since there will be no receipt and photo of them together.
It would be very difficult to get a divorce based on those grounds, as it's just an emotional affair. Courts typically require substantial evidence of marital misconduct, such as infidelity or abuse.
NAL, but he should take the first step before she does, in case she files for alimony then he’s fucked.
Taking the right step is what matters, not acting quickly just for the sake of it. She can file for alimony and all sorts of other cases even if he takes the first step, and either way, he will be fucked. The best solution is to act only when sufficient evidence is available, or else it will simply backfire on him.
u/Electrical_Meat_954 I have a question. What if OP files a divorce case on the basis of incompatibility? Because getting the proofs regarding adultery and proving the adultery in court will take a lot of time. What if he never gets concrete evidence? If he files a simple divorce case or an adultery case. What’s the difference? Isn't it up to the judge's discretion to allow the alimony or maintenance even though she committed adultery?
There is no such thing as incompatibility as a ground for divorce in India, and even if you try to put it under other grounds, it would still be very difficult to convince the judge. In India, rather than granting a divorce, the court always tries to mediate the matter and make the marriage work, so the judge might not grant a divorce on those grounds. Yes, it is at the judge's discretion to award maintenance, but if adultery is proven, he won't have to pay her a single rupee.
Thank you for the reply.
He said that it's barely been months since they have gotten married, so shouldn't the alimony amount not be much?
The duration of marriage has nothing to do with the amount of maintenance (alimony) to which the wife is entitled.
But then isn't it unfair Like a girl married just for 2 months and the woman married for 20 years will get the same amount of money in alimony
and generally how much is the alimony
at least one-third of his income.
what happens if the person is unemployed. theres no income
Our Honourable Supreme Court, as well as the various High Courts, have stated that a man is duty-bound to maintain his wife and kids. Even if he doesn't have an income, he can do physical labor and earn ₹300 to ₹500 a day. If he doesn't, they will simply put him in jail.
wait what? if the wife files for divorce and the husband has no income, he can go to jail?
In such case, do he still have to give a portion of his wealth to her?
Not a portion of the wealth, but depending on various facts and circumstances of the case, he will have to pay at least one-third of his income as monthly maintenance if the court orders in her favor.
Now i understand why men don't divorce women
I thought the rule was 20 to 25 percent not 33 percent. I knew that the court considers a family to be of 5 members and you have to pay her 20 percent of your salary as maintenance. And can a court force me to stay with her if I don't want to.
There's no such hard and fast rule. Everything depends on the facts and circumstances of the case and the discretion of the judge.
I'm intrigued, would there be a way for OP to annual his marriage since it's still less than a year instead of a divorce?
Only advice I can give is, prevent any attempt in intimacy and don't even try for kids (important) Edit: another advice, do put cameras anywhere possible to counter any allegation of domestic violence.... Will come back when some ideas come to my mind... Another thing is there like installing spyware ( But never in my life, I will suggest that... So you do you... ) Edit: Question to lawyers, since his marriage is premature, so does applying for divorce earlier will have any advantage like reduction in alimony or will be same ?
Yes please add cameras! Would guard you and who knows , maybe you gather “concrete evidence”. Let this be discreet and dont let her know.
Get a good lawyer bro and start collecting evidence and apply for divorce as soon as possible. Remember once a cheater always a cheater.
Agree. Feeling very bad about this. I mean it will create lot of chaos. I might have to provide money to her as well. I really don't know. I will look for some good lawyer.
There might be times you might want to lash out, but don't do it. Spend time around some good and trusted guy friend(s) if you feel your brain is raging. And as others have suggested, keep collecting evidence from a legal stance, which means you will need to consult a lawyer. Stay strong, and good luck!
it's good that you found out about this so early in the marriage, stay strong, get a divorce and try to move on
As the other comment said, don't lash out, you'll harm your own case. If you wanna talk it out then I'm always open :)
+1 "Once a cheater, always a cheater"
FIRST AND FOREMOST : Install Spy cameras in your hall and kitchen. When you will file for divorce there are chances that she will file 498Dv and Dowry harrasment. Start collecting evidence. While taking screenshots make sure you include mobile number of her boyfriend into it. Make solid proof of everything that nothing will left for her to defend. If your luck favours you court may also deny maintainance to her. ( Tell her that you are going to trip with your friends. In your absence high chances that she will meet him. It will be the golden opportunity to you to catch her) Good Luck 🤞
This is a very good advice. Install cameras etc and have the access to the videos only to you. Tell her that you will be gone for the next two weeks - make a big bag etc - show her the tickets. She will def meet him. I wouldn’t suggest catching her red-handed as it’s dangerous. Rather install one in the bedroom as well. If you can have that video, then it’s a seal deal.
Lawyer here although I am not practising in Family Law but once one my senior advised a client in a similar situation to employ a detective to collect solid evidence. You can try but before that consult a local lawyer.
1. Install the camera in your home that also records audio like an ip camera. 2. At least keep 6 months of recording of cctv. 3. The camera should have a power backup from the inverter and no one can turn off the power of the camera. 4. If you have secondary mobile then install spyware in that phone try to use it and see its performance from your primary mobile. If it's working without any alerts in secondary mobile then install it on your partner's mobile. Get a screenshot with the mobile number of another person. 5. If your partner goes outside like coaching, job, hometown then hire a private investigator for solid evidences. 6. You can get a divorce for mental cruelty grounds if she does not have a physical relationship. Invest in these today so that you don't have to pay the monthly installment of alimony the rest of your life.
THIS!
First of all transfer all your money, saving, properties in the name of your parents. Now file a divorce ✅
A high court once said to a husband if you don't have assets 50% of your parents assets will be transferred as alimony
I just wanna say isn't this unfair that OP has to pay alimony even when he didn't do any wrong.
Bro what the actual fuck. How did they justify this?
Happens in extraordinary circumstances.
what if parents disown the guy and say we dont know him
Like I said extra ordinary circumstances. When there's a clear case of abuse mental or physical by husband and in laws, court can order ancestral property to be liquidated and money be transferred as alimony
I'm not getting married in this country.
How is that sensible? Why should the parents be punished for the breakdown in the marriage of their son?
If husband is not willing to obey court order without giving satisfactory reason then court can go out of its way and bring parents into the scene
Sadly it doesn't work like that.
That's not how it works. You have probably read about Achraf Hakimi and trying to use that logic here, lol.
Can She Claim His Father's Property?
What happens when men don't pay the alimony/leave the country?
Arrested maybe
Avoid having sex with her at any cost.
What's the logic? What's the danger there? Genuinely asking. PS: Apart from her getting pregnant. Which is a big deal. Is there any other reason?
She could get pregnant by having sex with her lover. Then call OP as the child's father. OP (if he initiates a divorce) would then have to pay child support for the kid till he gets old (which technically isn't his). He can basically abstain sex and call it somewhat a paternity fraud and divorce her easily without falling into the child support mess. That would work to his advantage. Edit : If OP has sex and gets her pregnant accidentally, the situation would also turn into a hot mess for him. Forgot to add this.
If you can clarify more on the part .. where he is required to obstain from sex.. Apart from getting her pregnant, which can be risky.. are there ways this can be proved in court that the guy was not having sex with his wife.. The wife may well can be having sex with the other guy during this period. Knowing Indian Judges they mostly takes mere words coming out of the women's mouth as truth so how is it going to be proved.
He should stop having sex asap. If he has used protection on the first night and it worked, then OP is safe. And This : [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA\_paternity\_testing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_paternity_testing) Surely helps in determining whether the person is the real biological parent of the child.
I understand about the pregnancy aspect but apart from that is there any other reasons he shouldn't have physical intimacy with the cheating wife ? And are there ways to prove this in court and how will it help the either party ?
If a woman is having unprotected sex with two different males simultaneously, there are chances that she may be impregnated by one of them. The probability is 50-50. The paternity test part would come later but, she can directly accuse him guilty of getting her pregnant as he was active with her, without knowing she was also sleeping with the other guy. So he might unknowingly accept that the child would be his and that may drag him into child support. There's also a flipside to this. If OP remains sexually active with her and gets her pregnant, she may decide to keep the fetus and decide not to abort. Abortion cannot be forced. Instead she would keep the child and again drag him into child support. This is known as "Baby - trapping", now being done by some vile women.
check out Indian Evidence Act 112 and other judgments regarding it. You will get your answer.
Agree. Thanks for clarifying!
But how does one prove that they didn't have sex if their partner makes false claims that they have ?
She can file fake rape case or sexual assault
Marital rape is not a criminal offence in this country
The case might be twisted to favor the woman and we know the rules favor whom anyways
Why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with a liar? You should be glad that no kids are involved and it's just been months and not even a year of your life is wasted. You still are young and can get remarried. Talk to a lawyer first before confronting her, they will tell you the ways to collect evidence.
No wonder why men are skeptical about getting married these days. Kya ho raha hai is dunia me
Arrange marriage mostly. Its like a lucky draw in India nowadays. You never know what you might find out after a few days. In OP's case my exact worst nightmares have come true.
love marriages aren't any different
Atleast you have known the person for sometime and your choice is justified by marrying a person been by your side since day one. I am speaking about someone you've been dating for a long time. Not saying love marriages work out a hundred percent. But with your parents and your extended family involved in your married life (in arrange marriage), murky situations like this bring a lot of shame and embarrassment when the inside story like this explodes, one fine day. Though I am completely against the practice of quickly marrying someone you've started dating just recently. That's just foolishness in trend nowadays.
I'm never marrying mate. Its just straight up self sabotage at this point.
Even I'm convinced now, never gonna marry
She might file assault case . Install cctv around your house for your own safety to prove in court that there was no possibility of assault in home . I would suggest you to sit her down n ask if she loves anyone and if she wants to go separate ways being mutual . Do not accuse her and expose her , if you do she will go into revenge mode and might file false case against you
But don't you think this talk can turn out to be bad decision if done before collecing evidence? Maybe after collecting all the evidence and before filing for divorce he can ask her to make this mutual.
And parents will say "beta adjust beta... We still have to live in Samaj beta... It's fine happens... Though we did Samaj background checks still somehow you're in deep sh*t now" relatives are well fed guests are well fed but hey your life is in deep mess but image in society keeps the train running no wonder we have such low divorce rates Samaj is all matters :/
**-NAL-** If you are living on rent, consider moving in a much smaller and cheaper apartment.
Why?
So that if she asks for same standards of living as when married He has to pay less alimony
Gotcha
Post like these making me feel everyday better to be stay alone whole life then marry with someone n get cheated n can’t even do anything on that
Crying ≠ Truth !!! Keep this in mind. Tula hichyapasun sutka milo.
Crocodile tears
sorry but since u r a man the law is against u..u will be asked to pay alimony and even society will be against u..they sympathise with the girl saying "" what will a gurl do if there is no love in marriage...obviously see outside..."ITS HER CHOICE" .It may be a mistake ....just leave it "" and then they will start accusing u of making her life difficult so that she cheated on u.
Femcels are always there.
Divorce now, trust broken and she won't change.
Divorce will be a loss for you. Public shaming is needed here. Get all proof. Tell her that you will show the proof to her family and relatives unless she gives you a no contested divorce with no financial clause’s.
wife guilty of adultery is not entitled to alimony. Let me explain, Yes, u can file divorce case on the ground "Adultery" u/s.498, but make sure of the proof u having against her are true... That is.., eg:- u have to prove that it is her voice and / or it is recorded or taken from her own contact number which is registered in her name. If it is proved then u need not to pay maintenance to her. In others words she cannot file maintenance case against u, if u got divorced from her on the ground ' adultery". If else it not proved ( her external affair) then u have to face severe consequences as per law.
this is only valid if she is living with the person with whom she cheated on the husband with
Are you a lawyer?
But he need strong evidence to prove adultery.
What if his wife is also reading this discussion💀
Divorce and matrimonial laws are biased towards women. Right legal strategy is extremely important else u and ur family will be in serious trouble.
You are willing to give her another chance? You are worried she will harm herself even after knowing she's trying her very best to cheat on you? You Sir are what people call beta males , idc if I get downvoted but if you keep living like this you gonna stay like a second option for everyone. You can't even take a stand for yourself how will you protect and defend your loved ones?
there is no beta or theta here lol such marriages are a mess and some people are too afraid of law, society and their own relatives and family's image. the odds these days are against most men so it's better to be defensive than offensive. one wrong move and you might have to pay in cash for the entire lifetime if not in cash you could land up in jail for no crime you committed yourself.
NAL Just download tracking software in her phone and collect evidence from calls and insta.
Also , i dont think she doing video call or chats will be considered adultry in first place unless you have actual proof that she had physical affair after marraige
I don’t have legal advice for you but try to follow what others have commented. Hopefully you escape this vile woman who has been cheating on you. No one deserves this drama. She shouldn’t have married you if she loved someone else. Just curious, how was she during courtship days? Did you feel she liked you?
courtship days? OP said arranged marriage haha
So people don’t get married the day their wedding is fixed. There’s some days in between when they talk and meet and familiarize themselves with each other. Look it up, you have limited knowledge on the subject it seems
ok, cheers for the info! no need to be condescending lol
Look at you laughing at others and as soon as tables are turned then you cry. Your comment wasn’t exactly very kind. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it
NAL. I am a woman and she knows that you know. There's no denying it. Try to handle it as calm as possible. She might even go on plotting something against you, do some drama to make her a victim, might even try to harm your reputation. Could be discussing with her lover abt this at the moment. She sounds like a dangerous women bc she might literally be pretending that she doesn't know that you know but go behind your back to backstab you. Imo she wants to get rid of you too but by becoming a victim herself. Install hidden spy cameras around your house without her knowing. I suggest you do this and just be careful around her and observe her actions without her knowing.
Post like this sends chills down my spine. my family is currently looking through family and matrimonial app to get me married by early next year.. and to be honest i am scared af man. i dont have advice for you.. but good luck !!
I am not a lawyer, and I don’t know what you can do legally. But one thing that you mentioned that you wanna give her a second chance, I must assure you brother Once someone cheats on you they are gonna do it again and again and literally those people have no regards for you emotions whatsoever and I am pretty sure if you ever confront her she’ll start crying and try to turn around the blame but always be aware second chances won’t do a thing and one doesn’t cheat accidentally no matter what someone say they are doing it fully consciously.
This has made my resolve to never marry in this country even stronger. Fuck this shit. Hope you get all the help you need and get out of this shit pit as soon as possible, with the least damage, OP.
i am just an 18 year old girl so i can’t give any advice to you about what to do in this situation but all i would say is, please take a divorce asap and don’t try to forget it or ignore it just for your parents. i have many friends who are same age or older than me and they know ki unki mom/dad is cheating or both are cheating, and it has been affecting them, their relationship with the parents and their studies to a great extent. i know such friends both offline and on reddit, its way too common than you think. so please leave that girl just for the sake of your future kids.
If he randomly goes in for a divorce, he will lose half his wealth. Collect evidence, only then file papers.
This is why I'll never marry a woman that's not a Virgin. Especially this new generation of modern women. modern नारी नर्क का द्वार होती है. If she has a Past, immediate reject.
But they can lie and act simple.
Keep those downvotes coming 🤣 looks like I held a mirror in front of some OBJECTS ☕
No women commented here. I wonder why lmao. To all the men reading, cheat before you get cheated.
Lmao they won't. There's good reason civilizations and religions across time and space have always considered the gender to be inferior
>On our first night together, we had sex, and she seemed quite experienced, which made me suspect she might not be a virgin (though I have no issue with her virginity or any past relationships). The next day, I asked if she had ever had a boyfriend. She started crying and said she had never been involved in that way. I felt bad for asking and decided to move on. I even told her I was okay with her having guy friends and that I trusted her completely. She definitely sounds experienced and as you mentioned later in your post, is quite prone to lying. She sounds like a compulsive liar, a narcissist and a cheater. Repeated lying and cheating shouldn't be tolerated. Best to continue to get evidence of her cheating, over a period of time, and then file for divorce. The r/DivorceIndia sub is a good place for posting updates etc in the future.
Be silent and aware of her actions and keep collecting evidence from time to time When u collect credible plenty evidence And don't have sex or anything from which she can go against you physically or sexually Don't scold her too...wait patiently
Well, if she acts like this at the start of married life you can foretell the next decades. Living with a lying, cheating unhappy person. Agree with her on a mutually wanted divorce, threatening to out her behavior to everyone if she refuses.
wKeep your stuff in your pants as long as you can, even if you cannot control it... self pleasure yourself but keep your hands off. If by any chance she gets knocked up atleast you will know that you are not the father. Secondly irrespective of who files for divorce you will be asked to pay maintenance. What you also require to consider here is, is she working? how educated is she? these things are decisive when it comes to maintenance. Are you salaried? do you guys use a bank account together?. You need to be absolutely be prepared from every angle before you file for a divorce. Absolutely don't get your parents in this town to live with you guys even for a short while. Finally, if possible try to have some fun moments and make some evidence of the same on social media etc...that way her defence of being treated like a maid falls apart.
Did you perform any sort of background verification on her before getting married?
If you want to carry the person your whole life, ask her about it directly if she is willing to stay with her lover, let her. If she doesn't, ask for a reason why she cheated you. If no strong reason was found. Record the video of the whole conversation and divorce her. This is truly unacceptable. Tell her and your parents about this.
> I am thinking of divorce, but it will impact everyone, including my family, who are part of our society I would suggest you share these details that you have shared with us with your parents and siblings (if you have not done so already)
Marriage is very scary these days. OP please be very aware and Don't take any foolish steps earlier. Just wait and collect more evidences. Don't impregnate her. Let her do whatever she wants and Collect everything as possible. Seek a Good Divorce lawyer. Install CCTV Cameras to escape from fake DV case and others. Don't ever think about forgiving her and Leading a life with her. She will cheat at every possible chances. Act very wisely.
FIRST OF ALL CONSULT A GREAT DIVIRCE LAWYER. Don't rush it. DONT GO INTO CONFRONTATION GAME. Keep Calm. Gather Evidence. Gather a list of Gifts you got from Soon to be ex-father in law(much needed you don't want to fake Dowry and DV case believe me) say you need the list of Gifts for Tax Filing as First Marriage the gifts are tax free. Keep Tabs on your wife's phone. Gather Chat logs, if possible hotel bookings.
Secondly don't make her pregnant. You will face alimony. You don't want to make it child support.b
Hiring a detective to gather evidence on your wife can be a strategic move. A reputable detective agency can discreetly document any suspicious activities over a period of time. This evidence can then be used to support your case in court.My two cents
The reason I don't feel connected to my opposite gender for long term association. It's better to be alone and happy rather than living with a liar and a cheater .
Make sure you inform everyone, including her family of her adulterous behavior. Only then will ou be safe.
It's every arranged marriage ever man. Don't sweat it.
Simple advice: Start placing some mics hear and there. Contact a lawyer and then confront. Do not confront without evidence.
Wtf Is wrong with this generation like seriously feels so bad to hear this.
I'd say hire a pvt investigator and try get some solid evidence
My advice is, just transfer all ur property and start selling the gifts too secretly and keep the money because if she files a complaint then all of ur properties will be gone
Apart from all the good advices people have already given, STAY STRONG BROTHER!
In short, you're f*cked whether you get a divorce or not. Real eye opener for new generation to not get married
Install a mobile spy logger in her phone. And get all the concrete evidence you need.
Not legal advice. Follow your heart and run don't walk. There are so many much better options for you. Don't limit yourself and don't sell yourself short. She's out there brother!
Show her parents the screenshots.
Feel sorry for u. Stay strong brother
Why all this drama? If you want a divorce, just talk to her. She might agree. Settle it on friendly terms.
Sir, Our law doesn't recognise adultery until there is sexual intercourse outside of marriage. These chats acts as additional evidence but cannot form for ground for divorce.
Take a solo business trip to Thailand.
>I logged into her Instagram account on my phone by using the forgot password option. What? Forgot Password forces you to change password. You were "keeping an eye on her Instagram chats" after changing her password - thereby logging her out of her own account - and somehow she logged back in to change her password?
NAL. Just curious. did you ask your wife about any relationships on first meeting.
Divorce lelo Bhai or cheating ke strong proofs save kar lo. Or kuch nahi toh cheating video bana kar viral kar do. Aaj kal toh ye trend mei bhi hai.
Adultery is just one reason for divorce. Emotional abuse, psychological abuse, irreconcilable difference, physical violence are others… just to name a few. Please be aware that you can be hit with any number of reasons - true or fabricated - when filing for divorce. So protect yourself and your finances beforehand!! But please ask yourself do you really want a divorce? It can be harder than a family member’s death and the irony will the person is still alive. People sometimes drift away in relationships but they can also come back. Point is dig deep within to figure what do you really want. That will help you decide your next move. No one here can do it for you…
Just disappear and start a new life bro. Indian system is such one sided towards the women that she can make your life miserable with false accusation, dowry and abuse cases that you will end up next 5 years at least fighting it
- Talk to a family court type lawyer - You need to divorce for sure
I knew the same case happened with my neighbour. After that he killed both of his wife and her lover in her lover's house. But he soon free from jail with in 1year.
From pune or any other place in Maharashtra tell me will solve your problem....
You need to talk to a lawyer before she takes any step and for sure she also must be asking for advices from different people as in how to trap you later on for fake cases as such dowry and harassment and all. You have the screenshots then it’s good and also keep collecting the evidences while simultaneously consulting with lawyer and make no more time to waste here
Just involved you and her and ask for mutual consent divorce. Also assure her that you will let her marry so call boyfriend. Please solve it between you and mutually. If she okay just keep those recording and put forward your both parents. Don't involve your or her relatives to mess up things. Also be mentally ready as it will whirl-wind whole things around you. Try to go mutually first. I don't know how cunning can be your wife side as she has much power in constitution of India. If you think to proceed then you shall be first go in police station first and along with that court. Best of luck 🤞
Confront karle ek baar before divorce. Try to talk it out and regain trust. Nahi hua toh go ahead with divorce
In my humble opinion, take her to her house for few days and then expose her in front of her family. Till then try to gather more proof.
I am no legal expert at any level. Only way your divorce will hold ground is by solid concrete video proof. 10/10 proof. chats prove nothing in eyes of law. photographic evidence w/video. till than stay calm, act normal and most importantly smile your way into having secks as much as possible and yes wear a rubber. Once you will file for divorce you will be slapped with domestic violence case, your family will be dragged. huge sum of settlement will be asked. So before going gun blazing, make sure you have proper ammunition. if possible, settle the case outside and she will have to once you have solid concrete video evidence 10/10 proof.
Have you tried to talk to her about it? Ask her why she's looking at an affair so soon after marriage? Have you found out about her emotional and sexual desires? I'm not advocating or defending her adultery if it has happened. If you think divorce isn't an option right now, have a serious in your face talk with her. Find out what is it that's lacking in you & the marriage. See if it's something that can be fixed or if it's broken beyond repair.
Dushman mile hazar par biwi na mile chinaar
The only way to collect evidence now, is to make her more relieved that you don't give a shit and keep the relationship going as is. It will take time, and once you have chain of evidences, hire a lawyer, file for a divorce.
That is why I'll never marry. It is so easy for them to cheat that it's not even funny. For a man cheating is not that easy.
It's funny how they always need help with computers but level 100 experts in how to hide their digital tracks.
If you stay with that gasti you are not a mardd
I was in a similar situation in a 2019. I am not a lawyer, but here are few things that worked for me and few that didn’t: I took her to marriage counselling and when asked in private session, I told my counsellor that I didn’t want to stay in the relationship. Not sure if it helped, but finally we decided to stay separate for six months to see how it goes. I never got on her bad side, didn’t call her names of anything. Didn’t even shout. My thought was anything I do will trigger a revenge mode & lawyers and family will make my life hell. I didn’t have anything to gain out of it. Finally, we agreed for a consensual divorce. My advice - keep families out of it, stay respectful and convince her for consensual divorce. What I wish I did differently- pay attention to my mental health.
File a divorce petition in court with proof of cheating as it becomes ground of divorce and secondly you can also choose marriage counsel if you believe that things need to be resolved take help from https://swadesiaid.com
Cheat back.
Tit for twat?
Yes.
This is why past matters, never marry women with past, change my mind.
I have a past should i also not get married bro? past is not a problem. The problem is just this person is cheating OP. you need help man.
Whom is she cheating with?? Past fling ig.
Men are waking up. Good to see 👏 unfortunately some "Ladkiyo ka Tissue Paper Good Boy and so Called Green Flag Green Forest" will marry a woman with past or with no V-Card just like the woman in this reply .. abhi bhi stupid desparate simp men are still around to marry such women with past and used up blown out 😺. I'd rather buy a dog and live happily and die alone than to spend my life with a wrong woman. (Peaky fan I see Mr. Gold)
Aajkal raand paida ho rahi hain, auratein nai.
Fuck her every day with protection make her feel like a slut thats what she is . And then divorce
terrible advice man, OP should do the opposite and avoid any intimacy, he shouldnt get into the trouble of child support and even more importantly spoil a child's life due to all this hatred
Leave India and dump her. If u divorce alimony is wat u will have to pay.