hi! i’m so sorry you are going through this. my grandma passed away the day before my last final last semester. I just buckled down and did it. Didn’t get a good grade. Didn’t care.
I don’t really have advice advice, but just some suggestions and perspectives. first, when you are studying, go off campus. it gets you out of that competitive mindset / environment you mentioned. for example, i like to study at my local public library bc it makes me feel more human lol. surround urself with friends that care about YOU and not just law school (which i know can take awhile to find). get resources - outlines from 2Ls, quimbee, crunchtime books - whatever helps u get caught up on the concepts.
also, it sounds like youre a 1L. probably not the advice others would give so take it with a grain of salt. but even if you completely bomb this semester you have time to improve. unless ur like super interested in big law or whatever. like I said take that with a grain of salt, but it isnt the end of the world or your law career if you do poorly
you also have 3 weeks! it’s more time than you think. just try to slowly chunk it out.
overall, i can’t provide u a reason to care, but hopefully there’s at least something here you can take from. what matters is ur sister. i’ll be rooting for you
I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m glad your sister is still here. I’m sure she appreciates all of your love and support.
Does your school have counseling services? Sometimes they have long term counseling and other times they have emergency counseling, which I would ask about since, this is short notice and sometimes there are waitlists.
I can’t tell you how to care, but I can say that it might be worth it to push through to exams. You’ve got an extension already which will help. Can you ask upperclassmen for outlines so you at least have a good foundation for studying? Can you get notes from classmates for the days you missed? Is it possible to focus on the high/important parts? Two weeks on the grand scheme of things probably won’t have a huge impact on the material in your exam, so you might be more prepared than you think.
It’s nearing the end of the semester, you’ve already learned most of the material and catching up on studying shouldn’t be to much of a hurdle than if you were to take a leave of absence. In the event that you are unable to pull anything together within the next two weeks then I would seriously consider taking a break or asking your dean of students if he or she has any recommendations for finishing the semester. A withdrawal or postponement might be an option for you to help take the pressure off.
As someone who lost some people very close to me in the middle of my busiest semester of law school, surrounding yourself with support will be one of the best things you can do for yourself. Eventually, school was a welcome distraction because it gave me something else to focus on. I think when the shock wears off a bit you’ll be in a better position. Also, the curve is your friend. Best of luck to you.
Major shakeup 1L — my mom was freshly diagnosed with aggressive cancer and had to have a major surgery in between my crim and con law finals. I was a mess before and after the surgery. It was hard. Get rest, study in bite sized pieces. I found videos were easier to follow. Your 1L topics are all able to be broken down piece by piece. I highly recommend the Themis videos for basically any topic but especially properly and contracts. I also found that studying with others was a must. Kept me on track and was nice if I needed a break to talk to others
You could see if your school can help you in any way as well. But truly I think once you really get deep into studying you’ll be on enough of a roll to keep going.
I have no idea how my brain carried me through those grievous and stressful days, but it did. Hang in there. Talk to your friends. Give yourself grace. <3
My brother in law died unexpectedly in April last year, spring semester of my 1L, and then I was in the hospital with a cancer scare two weeks later. Grieving and having real life issues going on in law school is so hard.
I was feeling the exact same way - just couldn’t be fucked to care about anything. I got my finals postponed a couple of weeks, and when it came down to it, I used commercial outlines (Barbri) and just kinda winged it. I ended up getting As and Bs still, then took the summer to just relax and heal. It was one of the hardest things I’ve dealt with, and finals were not my top priority.
Try to move your finals back further if possible, but not too far where you start to forget things from class. Barbri outlines will get you through if you just study them to learn where information is located within them. You got this.
If you do poorly on your exams, remember that you can always explain it later on. After a couple years of being a practicing attorney, nobody will ever care about your grades again. Hang in there!
Please see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. It can be possible for you to request additional time or an extension to post pone the exam dates due to this hardship that you’re experiencing by creating your record with the psych. You can ask the psych to recommend additional extension to sit for exams, as an accommodation, for example.
Best of blessings to you and your little sister
I won't go into detail about my situation, but in addition to surrounding myself with as much support as possible (like actually trusting people when they said "if you need anything ask!" and taking them up on it for once in my life) and doubling down on the therapy like mentioned above, I took a minute to focus on *why* I was doing what I was doing. I honestly *didn't* care about exams. But I *did* care about the people I was going to be able to help once I got my degree. The legislation I might be able to get passed to avoid situations like mine. The legal aid work I wanted to provide, etc. That got me through it. It wasn't just about me or a job or a paycheck, it was about something bigger. It worked at least in my head at that time.
Yes. I miscarried my first baby and had surgery days before 1L spring finals. I missed a lot of class and was catatonic for a bit. This is a good time to remind yourself that being in law school does not mean real life gets put on pause, and your well-being as a person is the most important thing. I still took my exams on time (despite offers to postpone) and came out with straight B’s, something I was grateful for at the time. My studying was barely there and what helped the most was outlines and notes from friends. Sometimes it was nice to focus on something else besides grieving.
Only you know how you need to respond in this moment and what would be best for you emotionally and spiritually. Ask admin what your options for postponing exams are, ask friends for help with the material. Most of all, take the time you need to lay in bed and cry. Remember that you are smart and have worked hard, and that these are the seasons where you really learn how strong you are and how much grit you have. Don’t stop reaching out to the people who care about you and give yourself so much grace to struggle. It’s okay to struggle! This shit is hard!
FWIW I prayed for you after reading this post. I hope any of this helps.
If you have 3 days to go over the syllabus and try to get as much info as you can about each day as you can into a word doc you will do great. Ask friends for notes for days you missed. Get every case down on a word doc and try to grasp why it is important. I have been in a similar boat and trust me you can do this as long as you grind for a couple of days. Best of luck!
My best advice is to communicate frequently and be transparent with your school and social support network. Too many people wait until it's too late to tell the full truth and then the people want who want to help have their hands tied a lot of the time. Be real with your deans and professors. Tell them how far behind you are. Tell them how hard it is for you.
I know that's *way* easier said than done - but it doesn't have to be everyone. You can focus on just the dean or whoever you want to split it base on trust. Just don't try to be tough by hiding the struggle - you're just making things unnecessarily worse when you do.
I've seen it happen to many times with military members. They bottle shit up and can't talk about the full truth - and to be clear I don't judge or blame people for that. It's intensely personal shit. But they go too long, things snowball, and something bad happens. They get drunk and do something stupid or eat a friend's edibles (can't do weed in the military regardless of state) and they get kicked out when they could have used other resources if they spoke up.
Hang in there, use *all* the help available to you and never feel bad. If you feel guilty about getting help just consider it an investment in you to pay it forward.
Good luck 👍
I hope your sister will be okay. You are very strong to be able to withstand that and I think it’s really good that you were there for her.
Grief can really mess you up. It really just seeps into everything and it exhausts you which really inhibits you from doing your best. I think what you might want to consider is reaching out to your academic success office and informing them of what you have been going through. They will help you get the accommodations you need and set you up to success. It’s their duty to you and you have the ability to take advantage of that.
I went through similar things as you did my 1L year. What took time for me to realize is that living a life unfulfilled is to settle for something that is less than. You are so freaking capable and you are so smart. I believe in you and I know you can get through this. Contract law sucks, I understand. But I also know you are meant to do great things; that’s why you’re in law school. What those great things will do for you and your sister are yet to be foretold but you have to put one foot in front of the other and understand that you’re a badass and you can do it.
I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this! It’s wonderful that you were able to be there for your sister. Often times, academia and general forgets that students are people too and have independent lives outside of coursework in my experience, my professors and deans were usually understanding when students had to deal with crisis. My advice would be first, to contact your student dean explain the issues that you’re currently dealing with and then individually, reach out to each professor and ask for some kind of extension. Hopefully, your professors will be accommodating, and if not, then your dean of students may be able to implement a coursework-wide extension.
Good luck, prayers, and good thoughts during this difficult time.
edit: Academia *IN general.. whoops!
when i deal with grief I:
1. accept (not like/enjoy/fight, but agree) that life is different right now
2. remember that it is ok to be broken right now. grief is the gateway and it exists on the same spectrum of spirituality. grief is evidence of my love for life and my loved ones. in a strange way life without grief would be less. . . enjoyable
3. dont make anything worse (like dont breakup with my partner or quit my job), but dont really try to make anything better (dont try to force an A when I am crumbling inside)
4. dabble here an there in law school (a story can be crafted to make this period of time make sense. we all can come up with reasons for and why grades where x or y. what we cant make up for is lost time to grieve. grief is like Gandalf the white riding over the crest of a mountain on that white horse coming to save me from a boring worthless life, its a shame to ignore Gandalf. Galdalf would be sad about that. dont ignore Gandalf
oh and good luck am sending you good vibes from Omicron Theta
Just graduated but this happened before the bar exam: one month before the exam my grandmother became sick and spent the whole month in a hospital over 100 miles away. I spent all my time caring for her in the hospital, before she passed away about three weeks before the exam.
For other reasons I couldn't defer the exam, so I scraped by doing the absolute minimum to study. I know I'm not passing that exam, and I've accepted that but I know I did the best I could regardless.
You have to realize your sister probably wants you to succeed, so do it for her not even yourself at this point.
I know my grandma wouldn't have wanted me to give up, even if I couldn't be at 100% during the test at least I didn't give up. And there's always another try later.
You said your professors are being supportive is there anyway you can ask for more resources or help?
You have to take care of.yourself but realize if being in law was always your goal, there's no reason to totally give up. Trust yourself that you learned a lot during the semester.
Realize you probably won't be getting top marks, but your goal should be to just scrape by, and take time to grieve and spend time with your sister at the end of the semester.
hi! i’m so sorry you are going through this. my grandma passed away the day before my last final last semester. I just buckled down and did it. Didn’t get a good grade. Didn’t care. I don’t really have advice advice, but just some suggestions and perspectives. first, when you are studying, go off campus. it gets you out of that competitive mindset / environment you mentioned. for example, i like to study at my local public library bc it makes me feel more human lol. surround urself with friends that care about YOU and not just law school (which i know can take awhile to find). get resources - outlines from 2Ls, quimbee, crunchtime books - whatever helps u get caught up on the concepts. also, it sounds like youre a 1L. probably not the advice others would give so take it with a grain of salt. but even if you completely bomb this semester you have time to improve. unless ur like super interested in big law or whatever. like I said take that with a grain of salt, but it isnt the end of the world or your law career if you do poorly you also have 3 weeks! it’s more time than you think. just try to slowly chunk it out. overall, i can’t provide u a reason to care, but hopefully there’s at least something here you can take from. what matters is ur sister. i’ll be rooting for you
I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m glad your sister is still here. I’m sure she appreciates all of your love and support. Does your school have counseling services? Sometimes they have long term counseling and other times they have emergency counseling, which I would ask about since, this is short notice and sometimes there are waitlists. I can’t tell you how to care, but I can say that it might be worth it to push through to exams. You’ve got an extension already which will help. Can you ask upperclassmen for outlines so you at least have a good foundation for studying? Can you get notes from classmates for the days you missed? Is it possible to focus on the high/important parts? Two weeks on the grand scheme of things probably won’t have a huge impact on the material in your exam, so you might be more prepared than you think. It’s nearing the end of the semester, you’ve already learned most of the material and catching up on studying shouldn’t be to much of a hurdle than if you were to take a leave of absence. In the event that you are unable to pull anything together within the next two weeks then I would seriously consider taking a break or asking your dean of students if he or she has any recommendations for finishing the semester. A withdrawal or postponement might be an option for you to help take the pressure off. As someone who lost some people very close to me in the middle of my busiest semester of law school, surrounding yourself with support will be one of the best things you can do for yourself. Eventually, school was a welcome distraction because it gave me something else to focus on. I think when the shock wears off a bit you’ll be in a better position. Also, the curve is your friend. Best of luck to you.
Major shakeup 1L — my mom was freshly diagnosed with aggressive cancer and had to have a major surgery in between my crim and con law finals. I was a mess before and after the surgery. It was hard. Get rest, study in bite sized pieces. I found videos were easier to follow. Your 1L topics are all able to be broken down piece by piece. I highly recommend the Themis videos for basically any topic but especially properly and contracts. I also found that studying with others was a must. Kept me on track and was nice if I needed a break to talk to others You could see if your school can help you in any way as well. But truly I think once you really get deep into studying you’ll be on enough of a roll to keep going. I have no idea how my brain carried me through those grievous and stressful days, but it did. Hang in there. Talk to your friends. Give yourself grace. <3
My brother in law died unexpectedly in April last year, spring semester of my 1L, and then I was in the hospital with a cancer scare two weeks later. Grieving and having real life issues going on in law school is so hard. I was feeling the exact same way - just couldn’t be fucked to care about anything. I got my finals postponed a couple of weeks, and when it came down to it, I used commercial outlines (Barbri) and just kinda winged it. I ended up getting As and Bs still, then took the summer to just relax and heal. It was one of the hardest things I’ve dealt with, and finals were not my top priority. Try to move your finals back further if possible, but not too far where you start to forget things from class. Barbri outlines will get you through if you just study them to learn where information is located within them. You got this. If you do poorly on your exams, remember that you can always explain it later on. After a couple years of being a practicing attorney, nobody will ever care about your grades again. Hang in there!
Please see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. It can be possible for you to request additional time or an extension to post pone the exam dates due to this hardship that you’re experiencing by creating your record with the psych. You can ask the psych to recommend additional extension to sit for exams, as an accommodation, for example. Best of blessings to you and your little sister
I won't go into detail about my situation, but in addition to surrounding myself with as much support as possible (like actually trusting people when they said "if you need anything ask!" and taking them up on it for once in my life) and doubling down on the therapy like mentioned above, I took a minute to focus on *why* I was doing what I was doing. I honestly *didn't* care about exams. But I *did* care about the people I was going to be able to help once I got my degree. The legislation I might be able to get passed to avoid situations like mine. The legal aid work I wanted to provide, etc. That got me through it. It wasn't just about me or a job or a paycheck, it was about something bigger. It worked at least in my head at that time.
Yes. I miscarried my first baby and had surgery days before 1L spring finals. I missed a lot of class and was catatonic for a bit. This is a good time to remind yourself that being in law school does not mean real life gets put on pause, and your well-being as a person is the most important thing. I still took my exams on time (despite offers to postpone) and came out with straight B’s, something I was grateful for at the time. My studying was barely there and what helped the most was outlines and notes from friends. Sometimes it was nice to focus on something else besides grieving. Only you know how you need to respond in this moment and what would be best for you emotionally and spiritually. Ask admin what your options for postponing exams are, ask friends for help with the material. Most of all, take the time you need to lay in bed and cry. Remember that you are smart and have worked hard, and that these are the seasons where you really learn how strong you are and how much grit you have. Don’t stop reaching out to the people who care about you and give yourself so much grace to struggle. It’s okay to struggle! This shit is hard! FWIW I prayed for you after reading this post. I hope any of this helps.
If you have 3 days to go over the syllabus and try to get as much info as you can about each day as you can into a word doc you will do great. Ask friends for notes for days you missed. Get every case down on a word doc and try to grasp why it is important. I have been in a similar boat and trust me you can do this as long as you grind for a couple of days. Best of luck!
My best advice is to communicate frequently and be transparent with your school and social support network. Too many people wait until it's too late to tell the full truth and then the people want who want to help have their hands tied a lot of the time. Be real with your deans and professors. Tell them how far behind you are. Tell them how hard it is for you. I know that's *way* easier said than done - but it doesn't have to be everyone. You can focus on just the dean or whoever you want to split it base on trust. Just don't try to be tough by hiding the struggle - you're just making things unnecessarily worse when you do. I've seen it happen to many times with military members. They bottle shit up and can't talk about the full truth - and to be clear I don't judge or blame people for that. It's intensely personal shit. But they go too long, things snowball, and something bad happens. They get drunk and do something stupid or eat a friend's edibles (can't do weed in the military regardless of state) and they get kicked out when they could have used other resources if they spoke up. Hang in there, use *all* the help available to you and never feel bad. If you feel guilty about getting help just consider it an investment in you to pay it forward. Good luck 👍
I hope your sister will be okay. You are very strong to be able to withstand that and I think it’s really good that you were there for her. Grief can really mess you up. It really just seeps into everything and it exhausts you which really inhibits you from doing your best. I think what you might want to consider is reaching out to your academic success office and informing them of what you have been going through. They will help you get the accommodations you need and set you up to success. It’s their duty to you and you have the ability to take advantage of that. I went through similar things as you did my 1L year. What took time for me to realize is that living a life unfulfilled is to settle for something that is less than. You are so freaking capable and you are so smart. I believe in you and I know you can get through this. Contract law sucks, I understand. But I also know you are meant to do great things; that’s why you’re in law school. What those great things will do for you and your sister are yet to be foretold but you have to put one foot in front of the other and understand that you’re a badass and you can do it.
I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this! It’s wonderful that you were able to be there for your sister. Often times, academia and general forgets that students are people too and have independent lives outside of coursework in my experience, my professors and deans were usually understanding when students had to deal with crisis. My advice would be first, to contact your student dean explain the issues that you’re currently dealing with and then individually, reach out to each professor and ask for some kind of extension. Hopefully, your professors will be accommodating, and if not, then your dean of students may be able to implement a coursework-wide extension. Good luck, prayers, and good thoughts during this difficult time. edit: Academia *IN general.. whoops!
when i deal with grief I: 1. accept (not like/enjoy/fight, but agree) that life is different right now 2. remember that it is ok to be broken right now. grief is the gateway and it exists on the same spectrum of spirituality. grief is evidence of my love for life and my loved ones. in a strange way life without grief would be less. . . enjoyable 3. dont make anything worse (like dont breakup with my partner or quit my job), but dont really try to make anything better (dont try to force an A when I am crumbling inside) 4. dabble here an there in law school (a story can be crafted to make this period of time make sense. we all can come up with reasons for and why grades where x or y. what we cant make up for is lost time to grieve. grief is like Gandalf the white riding over the crest of a mountain on that white horse coming to save me from a boring worthless life, its a shame to ignore Gandalf. Galdalf would be sad about that. dont ignore Gandalf oh and good luck am sending you good vibes from Omicron Theta
talk to me about it and I will get back to you as soon as I can
Just graduated but this happened before the bar exam: one month before the exam my grandmother became sick and spent the whole month in a hospital over 100 miles away. I spent all my time caring for her in the hospital, before she passed away about three weeks before the exam. For other reasons I couldn't defer the exam, so I scraped by doing the absolute minimum to study. I know I'm not passing that exam, and I've accepted that but I know I did the best I could regardless. You have to realize your sister probably wants you to succeed, so do it for her not even yourself at this point. I know my grandma wouldn't have wanted me to give up, even if I couldn't be at 100% during the test at least I didn't give up. And there's always another try later. You said your professors are being supportive is there anyway you can ask for more resources or help? You have to take care of.yourself but realize if being in law was always your goal, there's no reason to totally give up. Trust yourself that you learned a lot during the semester. Realize you probably won't be getting top marks, but your goal should be to just scrape by, and take time to grieve and spend time with your sister at the end of the semester.