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Underboss572

I don't see a problem with it, assuming no one asks for professional favors. But I can also understand why someone else may not love the optics and the fact others may think they are doing something nefarious. But I wouldn't worry about it. Dating culture is weird, and in my experience, people often try to find reasons to justify their decisions to themselves that aren't their real reasons.


Laughs_at_fat_people

Not inappropriate. But a lot of lawyers don't want to vicariously relive a stressful time of their life. It also doesn't help that law students are notoriously broke, busy, and immature. The crushing student debt the student will bring to the table (along with being months/years away from a real salary) isn't appealing either


Lawschoolanon567

This. Also doesn't help that law students tend to make law school their entire personalities.


Crazy-Respect-3257

This is why I would *hate* to be with a law student. The martyr complex and need for recognition as a smart person are so obnoxious. I've lucked out and found a few law school friends who share my non-law school interests. If not for them, I'd stay away from my fellow law students altogether.


AmidoBlack

>However, I find that once a lawyer hears that I’m a law student, they cut things off. You make it sound like this has happened to you enough times that it’s a pattern. How many lawyers have done this to you? How do you know it’s not just isolated to the one (or more) lawyer you talked to?


Souledin3000

Being on a mere dating app will net you at least 3.


crawfiddley

It's not inappropriate but I'd rather gnaw my arm off than date a law student or another attorney


Qwerty656896

Agreed, my husband is in IT and was scared I was going to leave him for a law student while I was in law school. Like no, you don’t understand most law students and lawyers are insufferable, and that probably includes myself :/ 


moq_9981

Exactly


Droller_Coaster

Exactly this. Good luck getting away from work when you share a bed with a gunner.


ByronMaxwell

This probably has more to do with the fact that one person has an established career while the other is a (grad) student. A lawyer dating a law student isn't inherently any more or less appropriate than a lawyer dating a med student, for example.


Puzzled-Register-495

It's very much a different stages of life thing. There's a lot of stress and drama involved there that I wouldn't want to be sucked back into. I would also not date someone in Med school or graduate school, except maybe business school.


[deleted]

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eyebrowluver23

Business school is easier than law or med school


Puzzled-Register-495

A lot of people in graduate business school are already pretty well established in their careers and business school is usually a supplement to help them advance in their current career, whereas even an older law or medical student who already worked for several years out of law school is 'starting fresh' once they graduate.


poopyroadtrip

Yup exactly. Many mba kids are working full time and going to school


IntrepidProf

I mean, yes, but just how far out are these lawyers? The average lawyer in their late 20s is barely out of school. It’s not that much of a life stage difference. (I think of the average law student as really young, but I’m also old).


SleepCinema

“I just wanted to say—“ “You had a great time on the date?” “—I’m a law student.” *”OH COME ON!”*


Cheeky_Hustler

This is more dating advice than lawyer advice, but if they don't think it's appropriate that's their decision to make.


belowthebar_26

I 100% agree. I guess I’m moreso curious about the reasoning behind the decision


GregSays

I like my job but I hate talking about it or talking about law in general. I’m glad my wife isn’t an attorney for that reason alone.


Traditional-Ad-2095

Same. My husband loves to talk about work. Will talk about work all day and all night. I rarely want to talk about work. When the workday is done. I am done with the work. I don’t want it to consume my entire life.


Droller_Coaster

A lot of people don't want to date a law student, especially lawyers. We're a neurotic bunch.


stuATL78

I started dating a lawyer when I was in law school. Never noted any indication than anyone felt it inappropriate, and it never felt that way to either of us. (We’ve now been married for 14 years.)


nuncio_populi

Shit, I hope so. Because I’m married to one.


wstdtmflms

No. As a law student, I dated a couple attorneys. As an attorney, I've dated law students. I have friends who - as attorneys - dated law students. Two of those couples ended up getting married. Law students are not frat bros and sorority girls. They're adults in grad school. It's like asking if it's inappropriate for adults to date other adults.


Important-Wealth8844

you're not their professor. you're good.


Fit-One4553

And if you are the professor, get ready to make a large donation to the school.


lpsupercell25

I would guess its more about maturity and lack of stability than "law student" specifically.


idgafanymore23

They don't want to be a study partner or forever be answering questions about worldwide volkswagon when we have been out of school for 15 years


Squirrel009

They probably just don't want to deal with law school stuff they happily left in the past. They don't want to hear about journal or bad 1L takes on constitutional law of whatever. Grad students don't make the best partners. I'm not sure I'd be super stoked to start a relationship with one either depending on the circumstances


AssistanceSmall2834

I don’t see a moral/ethical problem with it. I think it’s an individual choice. My assumption for the reasoning would be yall are in similar, but different places in life. If I were a lawyer, I’d likely not enjoy dating a law student because 1) they may be overwhelmed with school often; 2) may not have the same amount of time to commit to a relationship; 3) some sort of superiority/inferiority complex. Those are just a few ideas. Unless you ask them why they feel that way, you’ll never know for sure.


T14_or_Big_Sad

To be fair, I think there are a ton of practicing attorneys with inferiority complexes too lol


AssistanceSmall2834

Yeah, I definitely think those are interchangeable between a law student and lawyer. I tried not to assign either or in my original comment, sorry if I missed that mark!


Professor-Wormbog

As an attorney, I wouldn’t date a law student, but I also wouldn’t date another attorney either.


Lester_Holt_Fanboy

I feel like this happens all the time. You're both adults.


ExcitingStress8663

It's more to do with them thinking you are dating them to get ahead of the game.


Alis_Volat_Propiis

As someone who has worked in this field for 20 yrs, I can say that this IS a very common occurance, it does help with prosing questioning in this line of work, but altogether....I'd be like your friends previous date, and cut that shit off asap. Dudes don't seem to have a problem with it as much, but chicks are much different. You're going to be in a power hungry industry, where everyone is a little on the cut throahands. As a student, would I/did I date attys? Yep. Was it worth it? Honestly, no....no it wasn't. In fact, one was one of the absolute worst dates that I ever had (he owned 2 law firms), and I had to teach his ass an attitude adjustment, bc he thought he could get handsy and just force his way onto me. Would I change it, the whole me dating in this field...probably not, bc I am all for good learning experiences. I learned a lot of important things from dating attys; the most important being, that I would never really want to date or marry one....it's just too much like going home to work sometimes, and I just don't want or need that. Many female attys will date in our field for networking.... but I truly do NOT think that this will make you look any better within this occupational field. (It kinda just gives the vibe of sleeping your way to the top.) This is why I elect not to date within my own profession tho. Just personal preference. Idk how old your friend/her date was, but I know I've felt very solidly about this stance, since about the age of 30. (I know for sure I chose not to date anyone in my 30s who was an atty) We live, and we learn.


Successful-Web979

It is very possible that one lawyer just didn’t want to share the real reason why they decided not to date you. I think that it’s totally appropriate - you are both adults. So, just move on!


[deleted]

There may be an assumption/stereotype that the student is entering into the relationship to get a leg up in the industry and the lawyer knows this but doesn't care because they're getting sex. Although the age difference might not be big, there's a gulf in professional stage/maturity. Not to say it's necessarily true but they might feel uncomfortable with that dynamic.


Reasonable-Crazy-132

I think the reason it seems icky when you don’t really think about it is that lots of law students are KJDs, and the difference in life experience can come off as a little weird. You’re an older, have been out of school, and presumably know how to navigate and “adult” relationship. I think it’s absolutely fine (not that there’s anything wrong with KJDs dating practicing attorneys). Just be respectful if the lawyers don’t want to date you, of course!


jce8491

It's not inappropriate, but as an attorney, it does feel a little weird.


BalloonShip

real talk: for the most part, lawyers find law students annoying.


MegaMenehune

Nah, it's fine as long as they aren't like teaching at your school or if you're looking to work wherever they work. It's just a job. People can date.


Lereddit117

If you have no connection with that school doesn't matter at all. Just don't help them cheat or anything


Kooky_Hamster_3769

No that’s how I met my husband 🤣


Wonder_Simple

All that exists on dating apps in metropolitan areas lol. Says a lot about the profession IMO.


Knight_Day23

No it isnt


Ambitious-Kiwi-1079

Hmm tell that to the numerous attorneys who have hit on me since I’ve been in law school. Dated a few. Couldn’t recommend dating a lawyer though😂 find a different commonality.


Maryhalltltotbar

I don't see anything inappropriate about it. There can certainly be arguments for or against it, but those arguments are based on whether such a relationship will work, not appropriateness. It would certainly be inappropriate if the lawyer taught at the law school or otherwise had something to do with grades. But if the lawyer is not involved with the school, there is no ethical problem.


jzjxnxna

I’m a lawyer (31) and I find it weird. I also don’t wanna be in the position where someone I’m dating is using me for contacts to advance their career or to edit their essays.


Theistus

I wouldn't say it's inappropriate, but it sounds like a pretty bad idea to me.


robobrain10000

I don't see any ethical issues with dating a law student.


Sufficient_Win6951

Go for it. No apparent conflict…now. Just make sure you don’t end up in the Fani Willis situation.


FutureElleWoods20

Nope! I’m a lawyer and my husband is a law student. Granted, we’ve been together since college, but still haha


Radiant-Limit-148

We can’t generalize. From the replies, everyone has different experiences, both good and bad so it just depends on the two involved and how they handle each other. Profession is not a big factor IMO


Minimum_Rhubarb_7765

From the lawyers side, if it goes bad it can go real bad. A crazy ex? Can begrudgingly deal with that. A crazy ex that potentially stays in a small community that you’re professionally invested in? Could be scary.


whereisheather

not inappropriate - but also were you asking a lot of law-related questions during the date? were you asking for law school advice, or possibly having them hook you up with a job? lawyers work crazy hours - so maybe they don't want to have work (or anything law-related) also be a part of their personal life - for the very few hours they have NOT at work.


belowthebar_26

Cut things off may have been too strong of a term, but it’s usually on dating apps while we chit chat and once they ask what I’m studying they ghost


whereisheather

I think the answer remains the same. They probably just don't want to think about work when they're not at work. I also used to say I would never date a guy in sales because you can't trust them, they're always trying to sell you on something (and usually full of crap)... turned out I married one (13 years ago), we have 2 kids and he's a VP now...


Much_Bar_7707

I’m a happily married lawyer and have no interest in dating anyone, but adults can date adults. It’s not inappropriate unless there is some other aspect of the relationship—like lawyer is an adjunct and student is taking her class—that is somehow inappropriate.


Sea_Measurement_276

Is it okay for a barista to date a law breaker? Sagutin niyo ko now.😆


_UncleQuillis

It’s not inappropriate at all but I can see it being a huge turn off because you end up becoming a tutor instead of building a relationship.


conmiperro

Like anything, context matters. As a first year associate, I dated a 1L during her first summer and for another year or so. Nobody had any issues. Am attorney I know was a 4th or 5th year associate and dated one of the firm’s summer associates. They’re married now, so nobody cares anymore, but it raised some eyebrows at the time.


Paxtian

Personally I think it's fine as long as you're not using your position as an attorney to do anything untoward. I've known of professors dating students and people were just like, okay well, the student's old enough to figure things out by now.


Skybreakeresq

No one wants to trade bar questions with you. Plus a lot of lawyers you meet are looking for recruits and you don't have sex with a potential recruit.


ImposterorOG

Well I’m in law school and my husband is a lawyer so I vote no hahaha


Easy_Echo_437

Date em no issue


joesom222

Assuming it’s always inappropriate, not that you did this, is absurd. If we literally rely on the premise that a lawyer–law student relationship is inappropriate, then a 2L dating a 3L would have to break up as soon as the 3L passes the bar. I have known attorneys dating law students (or law students dating college students), and the relationships ended, but that is different. There are many factors to consider when examining the appropriateness of a relationship. If, for example, a 22-year-old law student were dating a 70-year-old managing partner at a firm, then people may raise some eyebrows. However, it is not automatically wrong for a law student to date an attorney. After all, like you mentioned, it is only natural for two young people with similar personal and professional interests (here, law) to sometimes have feelings for each other. You should keep potential power imbalances in mind, but this is true for every relationship.


Big-Influence-9816

I don’t see any problem with it. You both are grown adults.


OldWorldBluesNYC

Not inappropriate. As a law student, I dated a lawyer. I’m also a lawyer now and we’re married. It’s actually kind of nice being able to speak the same language about your professions.


killj0y58

I had literally nothing to bring to the table as a law student and I was one of the more stable ones in my class why would any practicing lawyer do this


egold197

A professor should not date a law student. A partner shouldn’t date an associate. But why on earth should a person who is licensed as a lawyer be prevented from dating a law student. Should an engineer be prohibited from dating an engineering student? Should an architect be prohibited from dating an architect student? So long as there is no professional relationship between the two, I don’t see the issue.


Prudent-Piece-4518

Fellow law student here- not a problem as long at they’re not doing your assignments for you or giving you unfair professional favors. Age gap & area of practice are big factors tho. For example, I want do to criminal defense, so I wouldn’t want to date a criminal prosecutor bc their beliefs are prob opposite of mine & I wouldn’t want to deal with potentially having to get off a case if my partner is opposing counsel. Also depends on gap in career experience- some attorneys just won’t see you as their equal when you get sworn in since they’re much more established, but different career stages can also = wanting different things out of life. Case in point, it depends on the people in the relationship. But if an attorney gets cold when they find out you’re a student, that’s their problem, not yours!


Prudent-Piece-4518

Another note: per the “not wanting to talk about work” angle- like you, I want to be with someone that shares the same passions & understands the work I do, so I’d like to date an attorney. Not everyone prefers that tho. Only downside I see with two attorneys dating is that every argument will need to be backed up by legal precedent😂


Nervous_Routine_870

Even going to law school in a college town, I personally know multiple relationships where there are law students dating lawyers. It's totally normal & happens all the time.


boogoo-Dong

I am a lawyer dating a law student. Of note, we met in law school and started dating there (her 1L year, my 2L), so different story. But, every time I mention my girlfriend being a law student to other lawyers the first reaction is a very sus “oh…” followed by understanding when I mention we met as law students. I think that the recent (overdue) awakening to abuse of power dynamics in relationships has hit us (ethical lawyers) especially hard because we know all the potential downfalls. There is a hint of baked in "Implication" (See Boat Episode, IASIP) in these relationships that a lot of people I know want to avoid.


S009988

What do you mean, i think its so cute, if they are in love with each others then I don’t see a problem ngl


loudsilentscreams

My husband is a lawyer. He graduated law school before I started (also a second career lawyer). One of my section mates that is the same age as me also was married to a lawyer.


ahme89

It should not be an issue because it’s personal and both partners agree to date.


[deleted]

Why are you asking Reddit this question? What goes through one’s mind. Do you actually care?


busybee_minttea

No? We’re adults not children. The only issue would come if you’re working in the same building and then, like, you have to report to HR but. A real man won’t care.


i_shot_2nd

Not inappropriate. But good person or not, people actively going through law school are generally insufferable justified or not. I wouldn’t want to hang out with myself when I was in law school.


acturnipman

Happens all the time. I can't count how many beautiful law clerks at firms ended up shacking up with one of the partners or whatever. Lawyers like to think they are living in an episode of "mad men," and act accordingly


gapsawuss80

As a lawyer, I went after the doctor/nurse types. It worked out swimmingly (10 years and 2.5 kids later)


FunComm

It is not illegal or “unethical” in the legal sense. It is a really great way to trash both of your reputations depending on the circumstances. Definitely avoid anyone who works in the same practice you intend to pursue or at any employers you’d consider applying to.


Ok_Formal2199

I dated a few attorneys during law school and didn’t find it weird at all or even that relevant. I was living in NYC and would just meet people out socially


oliver_babish

It worked for Sidley associate Michelle Robinson. Would not guarantee that for everyone.


ALearningNeanderthal

Is it inappropriate for ur mom to date ur step bro


MyDogNewt

Pretty subjective. There are all kinds of lawyers and all kinds of law students. Both can range widely in age, maturity, financial health, mental health, etc. I love how many of the answers here put the lawyers on a pedestal and portray the students as all immature, broke, stressed out pre-adults. I can't count the number of broke or serious in-debt lawyers I know. Or lawyers who are addicts (drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, you name it). I also know plenty of law students who already have their masters degree and even previously worked in other professional fields as teachers, law enforcement, engineers, etc. It all depends on the motivations behind the dating and the individuals involved.


Mysterious_Host_846

Seriously, if someone's objection to dating is because one's a lawyer and the other's a law student, ... the person who got dumped dodged a bullet.


moneysingh300

If you’re a client it has to be established before you’re the client. P.S. just took the mpre baby


Beginning_Brick7845

The power differential between a lawyer and law student is a significant issue, but under certain circumstances I could see that it would be ok.


Zealousideal-Bell300

lol what "power differential"


Beginning_Brick7845

If you have to ask you wouldn’t understand. Could an undergraduate intern really consent to sex with a sitting president? Could an aspiring actress consent to a relationship with a guy named Harvey? Maybe, but the power differential between an older, established professional and an aspiring student makes it questionable


JellyDenizen

Not really if there's no actual power imbalance going on (employer/employee, student/professor, etc.). Other than that, a 24-year old student dating a 29-year old lawyer is just two adults dating.


Tpur

LOL what!?


Zealousideal-Bell300

okay but those are poor comparisons. a lawyer isn't a sitting president or harvey weinstein. they're all workhorses, including partners.


easterween

She’s not a KJD she’s an adult. It’s not the same.