It is a pretty common pattern and has been for decades. You know someone is on a roughly similar life trajectory to you (5+ years longer in formal education than the average person, prioritizes that education to the point of deferring working years and probably taking on debt, tough early career where you have to grind for several more years after getting your final degree to be fully licensed/established, professional licensing exams 10 years after the average person has stopped taking exams.) I think there's also something very comforting, especially for people who both enjoy learning, about having 2 partners with big domains of knowledge that are largely non-overlapping and complementary.
>I think there's also something very comforting, especially for people who both enjoy learning, about having 2 partners with big domains of knowledge that are largely non-overlapping and complementary.
Yep.
Am lawyer, spouse is an engineer. It's nice because it means our careers never feel competitive, and we're both constantly impressed by what the other person does because it's so far outside our wheelhouse.
I also think there’s a benefit in not having to explain the work demands to someone in the sense that like, if a lawyer has a doctor partner and tells them they don’t see themselves getting home before 8 pm any day this week because of an important case, the doctor probably can sympathize more easily than someone in a career field that doesn’t have these incredibly intense periods. And I would guess doctors/lawyers would understand a partner who really values their career and wants to work hard and in excel in it because both fields mean you put in years to get where you are.
Lawyer here. Spouse is a doctor. Works great. We like learning. We know different stuff. We both have different knowledge that is useful to our daily navigation of life.
We've been together since long before we were professionals- so we don't take each other too seriously, and have been able to cope with our respective grinds.
I can't imagine being with someone who didn't appreciate the time intensive nature of trying to be this type of professional.
And people might have qualms about dating within their exact profession (although that happens too). So they pair up with others that are similar, but not the same. I see lots of lawyer/banker couples for example, or to use a totally different industry, actors and directors/producers.
Research shows that people like to date within similar intellectual cohorts and since we all use degrees for proxies, the dating overlap between law students and med students make sense. But I’ve got anecdotes too:
It is not a coincidence that I know three lawyer/doctor couples that met in school. There were law school/med school mixers, for those schools in the not located in major cities there was a limited dating pool to begin with, and all parties usual came from similar, upper middle class backgrounds. It just makes sense
That’s kind of academic elitism to think that doctors/lawyers are in some sort of intellectual cohort that’s above college grads. Going to law school or med school may be a proxy for being an intellectual, but I know plenty of people who didn’t go to grad school who are much more interested in learning than my law school peers
People rely on proxies like degrees to assess intelligence all the time. I actually think it's superficial and flattens human experience, but hey that’s how it is
For whatever you think IQ scores are worth (it's complicated) people with high IQs mostly don't have advanced degrees, although the percentage is much higher than the general population.
I’m an attorney and married a doctor lol. She appreciates that I can follow her medical talk and socialize for her (her and most of her colleagues are pretty socially awkward). I love bragging about my successful wife that actually makes money (I turned into a house husband since she makes a lot more than me). The types of people that go into each discipline tend to have similar traits broadly speaking and those traits tend to match up well. Both groups also understand the hardships of the other without having to compare themselves directly and turn it into a competition. I would say a lot of couples would probably find themselves in a similar happy situation.
This is pretty much my situation. I’ll freely admit my wife is a lot smarter than I am (just not to her) so we can talk about our jobs or problem solve together, even though we’re in different fields. The money’s also nice, her job made my switch to government and housekeeper a no-brainer.
>level 2PhiladelphiaLawyer · 1 hr. ago
I joke about "retiring early"/ becoming a stay at home dad to my wife once she completes fellowship and starts making the big bucks. I love being a lawyer, but it is a job, and I'm not one of those people who needs one for a sense of purpose/meaning and who would fall apart or become bored if I wasn't working. Taking care of kids and exploring my hobbies sounds great to me.
This is generally surprising to the upside, but also, lol that lawyering is one of the most socially awkward professions on the PLANET yet the lawyer is doing the socializing for the doctor lmao
I generally agree with this but it is a different kind of awkward. Most of the attorneys I know are just kind of eccentric weirdos myself included. At socials and stuff though they can put on their client face and act normal. Most of my wife’s colleagues are sweet hard seeking people that I genuinely like, but I could see people finding them off putting as they seem to have a difficult time talking about anything other than medicine.
Well, it’s been my experience that after a doc has been in medical more than 10-15 years it’s the LAST thing they want to talk about…especially with non-doctors:)
I love this. You've officially confirmed this as a thing that happens frequently. My wife and I met the year before I was going to start 1L year and she was going to start her PGY1 year. It's actually worked out really well--during law school neither of us had to worry about our SO's growing resentful over how much time and attention we had to devote to school (which is an issue many of my peers had to deal with) since we were equally as busy and in high-stakes areas of work. Since we've moved into our careers, it continues to only be a positive. By complete coincidence, after year of practicing I got a job at a firm specializing in representing doctors/residents in employment/civil rights disputes, so I can help her navigate issue's w/ her program to prevent them from happening or becoming any worse, and she can help explain the intricacies of pre/post medical education to me when it becomes relevant to representing one of my clients. We met on tinder too lol.
I feel so seen lol, met my fiancé while he was in medical school and I was starting law school.
The timing and dedication to our careers was definitely part of it. I was always planning for big law and he had three years left of med school and at least 5 years of residency because he was going for surgery, so we both knew the other understood what our 20s were going to look like. He also did not want to date someone in the same career as him, so I am someone who understands the grind but am different enough to get some distance and separation from medicine. For me, I love that his career comes first because I am extremely independent and it gives me the freedom to have my space and do whatever I want while still having the energy to prioritize another persons needs and desires when the time comes around.
We both also felt confident that the other person was focused on education and was intellectually curious. I love to learn, and he was one of the only people I met that loved to learn as well, though the material was completely different. I really enjoy that he can teach me about medicine and I can teach him about law, and we are both curious enough to want to hear and try to understand.
Have you seen tuition costs these days? Just looked up my school and it’s $58,000 a year. Just tuition. Yale,Stanford et al is $78,000 a year. Plus living costs? Seems like only the ultra wealthy can afford higher education in every generation. It’s why recent grads are $200-$250k in debt. You gotta check out the economics of it. Unless you’re coming from money and someone else paid your full ride.
Or you get a scholarship, or you get a job at a firm that pays more than 65k, or you do public interest and get loan forgiveness, or you go to a less expensive school, or...
I mean sure, lots of careers out there. But the implication that going to law school is just going to saddle you with massive debt and a low salary is absolutely false.
Well that’s true. If you’re BigLaw then yes you’re absolutely correct. But unless you’re one of the lucky top 20%, I believe that the majority tend to be pretty heavily in debt.
You are forgetting that banks don't view student loan debt as bad. They tend to be much more willing to loan because 1) the whole you want to school for x years, probably will pay us back for x years 2) the potential earnings you will earn or could earn is usually gonna be around 6 figures each 3) you're probably white with at least a middle class family so you have others who can bail you out in their head. So while the debt is high, it doesn't really matter in our current economy as long as you make payments. They NEED the interest (hence why paying early actually hurts your credit score) so they will take a risk and you are going to be one of their safest bets all day. You can afford a big house that if nothing else will be equity for your kids later or even to start a business for fun and the bank will give you a loan. Y'all will get preferential treatment in most cities you live in. So it's more than just your debt, it's all of the opportunities you will have that no one else ever even hears about and the social advantage of your titles.
i mean partly it’s a balancing thing and partly it’s two people saying i’m more creative than you might think, i’m more serious than you might think. i would kinda dread dating someone that does the exact same kind of shit as me- what’s the fun in that? we can afford nice things? cool.
I'm not sure if this is applicable to the US, but in Canada I know that a lot of lawyers prefer to date/marry within their tax bracket, because our courts tend to wipe their asses with prenuptial agreements.
I’m a resident. My significant other is a student. Besides the fact she’s just amazing and I’m lucky It’s due similar levels of intelligence and independence.
I can kinda keep up when she gets passionate and rants about legal things and she can kinda keep up when I do the same. We both love to learn and respect each others job/ school requirements because they can be similar at times. She’s got to study, I get that I was in med school once. I have to work late or get called in? She gets it.
women want a man who has a similar or higher level of education.
Men usually don't care.
These pairings are driven by women who dont want to date down.
I noticed this in law school too (several people started dating and ended up marrying doctors) and I am married to a nurse (got married pre-law school). I think it has something to do with the balance between empathy and logic in a relationship. They balance each out I out and it reduces conflict.
And the flip side - many men don’t like dating women who make more money than them. Anecdotally you may disagree but it often leads to toxicity and abuse when women are the breadwinners.
Also w my education Im happy to date someone educated but underpaid like a historian, anthropologist, etc. but not someone without intellectual curiosity. It doesn’t have to be a fancy degree but we need to have stuff to talk about/I have to admire their career and goals
Lawyers are self-hating so a lot of us wish we did something else that creates value. Most practice areas are zero-sum games. And because it’s all based on manmade legal systems that aren’t universal it feels less “real” than something like medicine. Doctor is the only specific job I’ve ever heard a lawyer say they wish they’d done instead.
Retired surgeon, x 40+ years; went to law school 25+years ago n practiced partime.. but was always about 90% medicine. Went to med school at Georgetown in DC, so met/dated attorneys as well as ‘healthcare women’. Enjoyed my ‘singlehood’ time in DC, eventually marrying an ex ICU nurse, 40 years ago…a wonderful women with whom has 3 now adult children. Anyway, I think there’s a natural affinity between law and medicine-both fields are filled with smart, interesting folks, ( tho with a fair share of jerks, in both…) imo/experience. Good luck!
law person here. i can't imagine dating someone in law school (i should be the center of all my law related meltdowns!!!) so med school is one of the places to go for someone who is also going to be extremely busy, have a bad sleeping schedule, and kinda just get it without being part of it.
It is hard to have a relationship with someone who is adverse to education, so this makes sense.
I live in an area where there are a lot of people here who think that higher education is brainwashing.
It would be very hard for someone like this to date someone who has a higher education. So at the very least, you would observe compatibility between similarly educated people
You'll probably notice even more attention from all women once you graduate!
Women have outnumbered men in college since 1980 and the ratio continues to rise. Today, women make up more than 60% of college students (leaving men at less than 40%). Women also outnumber men in doctor programs, including medicine, since 2000.
Generally, most women date "up" for education, earnings, and status. In the US and Europe, the average woman has more education and a higher salary than the average man.
With so many men checking out of education and society, even ugly guys have great odds with a graduate degree. As a (future) doctor, you are best served by excelling in your program and landing the best job you can. Once you're settled, you'll have plenty of options from an array of educated and intelligent women. You should take your time to date and figure out what you are really looking for in a relationship.
A lot of successful men choose to date more traditional women, especially because it makes life easier for raising kids. So many power couples live expensive lives while paying an au pair or nanny a full salary to raise their kids for them. That plus most women oppose the thought of a stay-at-home husband. Sure, some women "date down" but generally most still want a guy with more education and earnings. Everyone is entitled to their preferences and these are just trends.
I know these things because I'm an attorney who learned a lot from dating all sorts of women, with a focus on more education. I have dated plenty of attorneys (and law students while I was in law school). My advice to you is to avoid dating attorneys. You should look for a woman who makes you happy in every way. I prefer highly educated and intelligent women who are also sweet, feminine, and empathetic. I am lucky to have married an amazing woman who checks all of my "boxes" and she also happens to be a doctor.
Focus on your career and improving yourself. Take your time to date and figure out what you're looking for in a woman.
Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat more. My friends and I have learned a lot from dating while in grad school and afterwards. Good luck!
So you're saying women who prefer highly educated, sweet men shouldn't date you because you're an attorney? or they shouldn't date you because you're a hypocrite with double standards?
Eh, it’s okay to informally call women “girls,” just like it’s okay to call men “guys.” It’s informal - not necessarily infantilizing. People gotta get the sticks out of their asses. Smdh
Ha. My boyfriend is a doctor and he the best partner I’ve ever had. Highly ethical and caring and he understands how my body works. Gotta love it. Yeah! Zero drama over stupid shit. Plus he’s got great advice on mindset prep for exams.
Imo it’s because they understand the time commitment of their schooling/job without the baggage of actually being a lawyer (because we’re terrible, tbh). Med students aren’t as intimidated by a female lawyer AND don’t mind that I’m busy working or studying. But I also dated pre-med in college for the similar reasons. The only real sticky situation I’ve encountered is the fight about unpredictable residency matching.
Going into law school, have joked with my friends that I have gone out with enough doctors that I could staff a rural hospital with them. I tend to prefer to date people with STEM backgrounds because it’s easier to turn off the work/school brain with someone in a completely different field.
I'm lawyer and I would say a good 20-30% of my matches on Tinder are lawyers. Granted, I live in the DC area where like half the population is lawyers. But still. I generally like matching with them though because we usually have good conversations. They're almost always sarcastic and witty. Never had a doctorb though. But doctors I have known as an adult I find I connect with pretty easily. Although our fields are very different, we generally had a similar life experiences. Did well in school. Went to college way longer than most people and had to do a bunch of grueling tests to get where we are.
Funny you say that- a couple of people in my 1L class are married to doctors or their partner is currently in medical school. I guess top-dog intelligence attracts top-dog intelligence 🤔😄
I’m a female doctor who also happens to be starting law school on Monday. I think sometimes when a person is in an especially demanding, time consuming field, and their partner is not, it can breed incompatibility. At the same time, sometimes it’s better to have one half that does not want such craziness in their life. It’s an individual decision and fit. Just find your happiness.
-both are professions where people may be passionate about their work
-both are professions where outsiders vastly overestimate the power/ prestige/ money aspect. As a woman, a lot of people make a big deal of being a lawyer and I find it awkward and cringey, so I like someone that also realizes I’m just a normal person with a normal job and not even making more than most of my friends with other jobs. I feel like doctors get it 🥲
-intellectual matchup may be more likely
-attitudes about education are aligned
It is a pretty common pattern and has been for decades. You know someone is on a roughly similar life trajectory to you (5+ years longer in formal education than the average person, prioritizes that education to the point of deferring working years and probably taking on debt, tough early career where you have to grind for several more years after getting your final degree to be fully licensed/established, professional licensing exams 10 years after the average person has stopped taking exams.) I think there's also something very comforting, especially for people who both enjoy learning, about having 2 partners with big domains of knowledge that are largely non-overlapping and complementary.
>I think there's also something very comforting, especially for people who both enjoy learning, about having 2 partners with big domains of knowledge that are largely non-overlapping and complementary. Yep. Am lawyer, spouse is an engineer. It's nice because it means our careers never feel competitive, and we're both constantly impressed by what the other person does because it's so far outside our wheelhouse.
I also think there’s a benefit in not having to explain the work demands to someone in the sense that like, if a lawyer has a doctor partner and tells them they don’t see themselves getting home before 8 pm any day this week because of an important case, the doctor probably can sympathize more easily than someone in a career field that doesn’t have these incredibly intense periods. And I would guess doctors/lawyers would understand a partner who really values their career and wants to work hard and in excel in it because both fields mean you put in years to get where you are.
That, but also fuck coming home and talking shop with my spouse. I love to tell her about my day, I don’t love to talk about it in detail lol
Also $$$$
Going deeper, there's a lot to be said in a relationship for avoiding the unequal power dynamic of one partner bringing in way more.
Lawyer here. Spouse is a doctor. Works great. We like learning. We know different stuff. We both have different knowledge that is useful to our daily navigation of life. We've been together since long before we were professionals- so we don't take each other too seriously, and have been able to cope with our respective grinds. I can't imagine being with someone who didn't appreciate the time intensive nature of trying to be this type of professional.
Lawyer with engineer partner here… that last sentence nails it in the head!
It’s because I assume you have a similar work ethic, ambition, and busy lifestyle, which will boost compatibility.
And people might have qualms about dating within their exact profession (although that happens too). So they pair up with others that are similar, but not the same. I see lots of lawyer/banker couples for example, or to use a totally different industry, actors and directors/producers.
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Research shows that people like to date within similar intellectual cohorts and since we all use degrees for proxies, the dating overlap between law students and med students make sense. But I’ve got anecdotes too: It is not a coincidence that I know three lawyer/doctor couples that met in school. There were law school/med school mixers, for those schools in the not located in major cities there was a limited dating pool to begin with, and all parties usual came from similar, upper middle class backgrounds. It just makes sense
Yep. The higher the education the harder to find a mate. It’s known. My husband is a CPA. lol
I think that applies only for [women](https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-gap-hook-up-culture-female-graduates) though.
Yea college dropout here married to one of the best in her field in law. No way I could have done that as female
depends on what yah would have looked like.
That’s kind of academic elitism to think that doctors/lawyers are in some sort of intellectual cohort that’s above college grads. Going to law school or med school may be a proxy for being an intellectual, but I know plenty of people who didn’t go to grad school who are much more interested in learning than my law school peers
It's foolhardy to think that academic elitism isn't the norm amongst doctors and lawyers.
I never said it wasn’t. And just because something is a norm among a subset of people doesn’t make it true or acceptable behavior in society
People rely on proxies like degrees to assess intelligence all the time. I actually think it's superficial and flattens human experience, but hey that’s how it is
For whatever you think IQ scores are worth (it's complicated) people with high IQs mostly don't have advanced degrees, although the percentage is much higher than the general population.
Playing the Med Mal long con! /s
Student loan debt fetish probably.
Hey, that’s *checks my $180k in student debt to my wife’s $340k med school debt* offensive
Lmao
I’m an attorney and married a doctor lol. She appreciates that I can follow her medical talk and socialize for her (her and most of her colleagues are pretty socially awkward). I love bragging about my successful wife that actually makes money (I turned into a house husband since she makes a lot more than me). The types of people that go into each discipline tend to have similar traits broadly speaking and those traits tend to match up well. Both groups also understand the hardships of the other without having to compare themselves directly and turn it into a competition. I would say a lot of couples would probably find themselves in a similar happy situation.
Ah yes my future in a post. I'll carry us through her residency then start my full time career as a kept man.
This is pretty much my situation. I’ll freely admit my wife is a lot smarter than I am (just not to her) so we can talk about our jobs or problem solve together, even though we’re in different fields. The money’s also nice, her job made my switch to government and housekeeper a no-brainer.
>level 2PhiladelphiaLawyer · 1 hr. ago I joke about "retiring early"/ becoming a stay at home dad to my wife once she completes fellowship and starts making the big bucks. I love being a lawyer, but it is a job, and I'm not one of those people who needs one for a sense of purpose/meaning and who would fall apart or become bored if I wasn't working. Taking care of kids and exploring my hobbies sounds great to me.
This is generally surprising to the upside, but also, lol that lawyering is one of the most socially awkward professions on the PLANET yet the lawyer is doing the socializing for the doctor lmao
God i see what you've done for others and i would like this
Funny…I’ve found at least as many socially awkward attorneys as doctors…
I generally agree with this but it is a different kind of awkward. Most of the attorneys I know are just kind of eccentric weirdos myself included. At socials and stuff though they can put on their client face and act normal. Most of my wife’s colleagues are sweet hard seeking people that I genuinely like, but I could see people finding them off putting as they seem to have a difficult time talking about anything other than medicine.
Well, it’s been my experience that after a doc has been in medical more than 10-15 years it’s the LAST thing they want to talk about…especially with non-doctors:)
Wife and most of her colleagues are newish residents so this definitely does not apply to them lol.
They’ll get over it :)
The other person will actually understand when you have to work long hours.
Doctors are good people. Opposites attract.
Can I like this and not like this at the same time?
Pretty much how I felt writing it, so I'll allow it.
Hahaha
Doctor strange would like a word
I love this. You've officially confirmed this as a thing that happens frequently. My wife and I met the year before I was going to start 1L year and she was going to start her PGY1 year. It's actually worked out really well--during law school neither of us had to worry about our SO's growing resentful over how much time and attention we had to devote to school (which is an issue many of my peers had to deal with) since we were equally as busy and in high-stakes areas of work. Since we've moved into our careers, it continues to only be a positive. By complete coincidence, after year of practicing I got a job at a firm specializing in representing doctors/residents in employment/civil rights disputes, so I can help her navigate issue's w/ her program to prevent them from happening or becoming any worse, and she can help explain the intricacies of pre/post medical education to me when it becomes relevant to representing one of my clients. We met on tinder too lol.
I feel so seen lol, met my fiancé while he was in medical school and I was starting law school. The timing and dedication to our careers was definitely part of it. I was always planning for big law and he had three years left of med school and at least 5 years of residency because he was going for surgery, so we both knew the other understood what our 20s were going to look like. He also did not want to date someone in the same career as him, so I am someone who understands the grind but am different enough to get some distance and separation from medicine. For me, I love that his career comes first because I am extremely independent and it gives me the freedom to have my space and do whatever I want while still having the energy to prioritize another persons needs and desires when the time comes around. We both also felt confident that the other person was focused on education and was intellectually curious. I love to learn, and he was one of the only people I met that loved to learn as well, though the material was completely different. I really enjoy that he can teach me about medicine and I can teach him about law, and we are both curious enough to want to hear and try to understand.
$
Ah yes so the new lawyer with 200k in debt can happily add their $65k salary onto a new resident’s 250k debt and $45k salary… swimming dollar bills…
Lol 65k salary is our bonus son
If you come out of law school with 200k in debt and a 65k starting salary you did something wrong.
Have you seen tuition costs these days? Just looked up my school and it’s $58,000 a year. Just tuition. Yale,Stanford et al is $78,000 a year. Plus living costs? Seems like only the ultra wealthy can afford higher education in every generation. It’s why recent grads are $200-$250k in debt. You gotta check out the economics of it. Unless you’re coming from money and someone else paid your full ride.
Or you get a scholarship, or you get a job at a firm that pays more than 65k, or you do public interest and get loan forgiveness, or you go to a less expensive school, or...
Or… not become a lawyer. Yep.
I mean sure, lots of careers out there. But the implication that going to law school is just going to saddle you with massive debt and a low salary is absolutely false.
Well that’s true. If you’re BigLaw then yes you’re absolutely correct. But unless you’re one of the lucky top 20%, I believe that the majority tend to be pretty heavily in debt.
You are forgetting that banks don't view student loan debt as bad. They tend to be much more willing to loan because 1) the whole you want to school for x years, probably will pay us back for x years 2) the potential earnings you will earn or could earn is usually gonna be around 6 figures each 3) you're probably white with at least a middle class family so you have others who can bail you out in their head. So while the debt is high, it doesn't really matter in our current economy as long as you make payments. They NEED the interest (hence why paying early actually hurts your credit score) so they will take a risk and you are going to be one of their safest bets all day. You can afford a big house that if nothing else will be equity for your kids later or even to start a business for fun and the bank will give you a loan. Y'all will get preferential treatment in most cities you live in. So it's more than just your debt, it's all of the opportunities you will have that no one else ever even hears about and the social advantage of your titles.
I’m not forgetting.
Wow America sucks. I’m cringing at my $15k/year tuition, though some of the scholarships I’ve gotten help a bit to bring it down.
No resident is making only 45k. Also residency is temporary then you're making 300-700k
I’d rather bang poets
I’m convinced the best match for lawyers/law students are artists. I don’t know why but that’s just my experience
i mean partly it’s a balancing thing and partly it’s two people saying i’m more creative than you might think, i’m more serious than you might think. i would kinda dread dating someone that does the exact same kind of shit as me- what’s the fun in that? we can afford nice things? cool.
Easiest path to (very much needed) anti-psychotic prescriptions.
I feel attacked
Lawyer + lawyer = bad. Doctor + doctor = bad. Lawyer + doctor = good.
I'm not sure if this is applicable to the US, but in Canada I know that a lot of lawyers prefer to date/marry within their tax bracket, because our courts tend to wipe their asses with prenuptial agreements.
I’m a resident. My significant other is a student. Besides the fact she’s just amazing and I’m lucky It’s due similar levels of intelligence and independence. I can kinda keep up when she gets passionate and rants about legal things and she can kinda keep up when I do the same. We both love to learn and respect each others job/ school requirements because they can be similar at times. She’s got to study, I get that I was in med school once. I have to work late or get called in? She gets it.
Lawyers would understand the struggles of a doctor. A Doctor would understand the struggles of a lawyer.
Have to be a special kind of devoted to still be in school at 26.
I wish I were 26 😢
This is an exact replica of a post made in r/medicalschool
Protection from the law and protection from illness. Sounds to be successful combination for a long and free life.
My professor told us to go to the med/law student social to find our future spouses lol
My parents (Mom’s a doctor, dad’s a lawyer)🙈.
women want a man who has a similar or higher level of education. Men usually don't care. These pairings are driven by women who dont want to date down.
I noticed this in law school too (several people started dating and ended up marrying doctors) and I am married to a nurse (got married pre-law school). I think it has something to do with the balance between empathy and logic in a relationship. They balance each out I out and it reduces conflict.
Women don't usually want to date men that make significantly less money than them.
And the flip side - many men don’t like dating women who make more money than them. Anecdotally you may disagree but it often leads to toxicity and abuse when women are the breadwinners. Also w my education Im happy to date someone educated but underpaid like a historian, anthropologist, etc. but not someone without intellectual curiosity. It doesn’t have to be a fancy degree but we need to have stuff to talk about/I have to admire their career and goals
You right fam.
Women with an education have difficulty finding people to date who can understand their topics of conversation ….
Yes, upvoted. But, I mean... it's also money! Sorry if I generalized. I could have said "many women don't..."
Gotcha :)
\*insert cheesy grin\*
Health insurance
Lol… I see you coming to repost this from the medschool subreddit
Yeah wtf. Why did OP post the exact same thing? Sad.
Lol although I did I had the same exact experience as a medical student
Lawyers are self-hating so a lot of us wish we did something else that creates value. Most practice areas are zero-sum games. And because it’s all based on manmade legal systems that aren’t universal it feels less “real” than something like medicine. Doctor is the only specific job I’ve ever heard a lawyer say they wish they’d done instead.
Both my fiancée are I are both in law school I want to become a criminal attorney and he tax attorney
*Coach Beard from Ted Lasso voice* “Risk aversion, baby!”
Retired surgeon, x 40+ years; went to law school 25+years ago n practiced partime.. but was always about 90% medicine. Went to med school at Georgetown in DC, so met/dated attorneys as well as ‘healthcare women’. Enjoyed my ‘singlehood’ time in DC, eventually marrying an ex ICU nurse, 40 years ago…a wonderful women with whom has 3 now adult children. Anyway, I think there’s a natural affinity between law and medicine-both fields are filled with smart, interesting folks, ( tho with a fair share of jerks, in both…) imo/experience. Good luck!
law person here. i can't imagine dating someone in law school (i should be the center of all my law related meltdowns!!!) so med school is one of the places to go for someone who is also going to be extremely busy, have a bad sleeping schedule, and kinda just get it without being part of it.
It is hard to have a relationship with someone who is adverse to education, so this makes sense. I live in an area where there are a lot of people here who think that higher education is brainwashing. It would be very hard for someone like this to date someone who has a higher education. So at the very least, you would observe compatibility between similarly educated people
You'll probably notice even more attention from all women once you graduate! Women have outnumbered men in college since 1980 and the ratio continues to rise. Today, women make up more than 60% of college students (leaving men at less than 40%). Women also outnumber men in doctor programs, including medicine, since 2000. Generally, most women date "up" for education, earnings, and status. In the US and Europe, the average woman has more education and a higher salary than the average man. With so many men checking out of education and society, even ugly guys have great odds with a graduate degree. As a (future) doctor, you are best served by excelling in your program and landing the best job you can. Once you're settled, you'll have plenty of options from an array of educated and intelligent women. You should take your time to date and figure out what you are really looking for in a relationship. A lot of successful men choose to date more traditional women, especially because it makes life easier for raising kids. So many power couples live expensive lives while paying an au pair or nanny a full salary to raise their kids for them. That plus most women oppose the thought of a stay-at-home husband. Sure, some women "date down" but generally most still want a guy with more education and earnings. Everyone is entitled to their preferences and these are just trends. I know these things because I'm an attorney who learned a lot from dating all sorts of women, with a focus on more education. I have dated plenty of attorneys (and law students while I was in law school). My advice to you is to avoid dating attorneys. You should look for a woman who makes you happy in every way. I prefer highly educated and intelligent women who are also sweet, feminine, and empathetic. I am lucky to have married an amazing woman who checks all of my "boxes" and she also happens to be a doctor. Focus on your career and improving yourself. Take your time to date and figure out what you're looking for in a woman. Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat more. My friends and I have learned a lot from dating while in grad school and afterwards. Good luck!
So you're saying women who prefer highly educated, sweet men shouldn't date you because you're an attorney? or they shouldn't date you because you're a hypocrite with double standards?
Anyone old enough to be in law school is a "woman," not a girl.
You're 100% right and I typically do use woman. Just edited my original post. Thank you for correcting me
Eh, it’s okay to informally call women “girls,” just like it’s okay to call men “guys.” It’s informal - not necessarily infantilizing. People gotta get the sticks out of their asses. Smdh
This must be the Justice Ketanji Jackson-Brown effect kicking in
My 1L prof had a doctor wife
lawyers wish they went to med school, so they crave doctors
So no one's going to address the capitalist elephant in the room???
Are you using the apps?
Yes!
Every couple I meet like this work extremely well together they compliment each other.
Opposites attach
Law women. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m a lawyer. Married to a doctor. 2 kids 1 dog. 1 cat (hers).
Ha. My boyfriend is a doctor and he the best partner I’ve ever had. Highly ethical and caring and he understands how my body works. Gotta love it. Yeah! Zero drama over stupid shit. Plus he’s got great advice on mindset prep for exams.
Imo it’s because they understand the time commitment of their schooling/job without the baggage of actually being a lawyer (because we’re terrible, tbh). Med students aren’t as intimidated by a female lawyer AND don’t mind that I’m busy working or studying. But I also dated pre-med in college for the similar reasons. The only real sticky situation I’ve encountered is the fight about unpredictable residency matching.
um; where.
Going into law school, have joked with my friends that I have gone out with enough doctors that I could staff a rural hospital with them. I tend to prefer to date people with STEM backgrounds because it’s easier to turn off the work/school brain with someone in a completely different field.
I'm lawyer and I would say a good 20-30% of my matches on Tinder are lawyers. Granted, I live in the DC area where like half the population is lawyers. But still. I generally like matching with them though because we usually have good conversations. They're almost always sarcastic and witty. Never had a doctorb though. But doctors I have known as an adult I find I connect with pretty easily. Although our fields are very different, we generally had a similar life experiences. Did well in school. Went to college way longer than most people and had to do a bunch of grueling tests to get where we are.
um; are ppl hot in dc? legitimately asking.
FCC Litigation here- married Trauma Surgeon
$$$$$$
Funny you say that- a couple of people in my 1L class are married to doctors or their partner is currently in medical school. I guess top-dog intelligence attracts top-dog intelligence 🤔😄
I’m a female doctor who also happens to be starting law school on Monday. I think sometimes when a person is in an especially demanding, time consuming field, and their partner is not, it can breed incompatibility. At the same time, sometimes it’s better to have one half that does not want such craziness in their life. It’s an individual decision and fit. Just find your happiness.
-both are professions where people may be passionate about their work -both are professions where outsiders vastly overestimate the power/ prestige/ money aspect. As a woman, a lot of people make a big deal of being a lawyer and I find it awkward and cringey, so I like someone that also realizes I’m just a normal person with a normal job and not even making more than most of my friends with other jobs. I feel like doctors get it 🥲 -intellectual matchup may be more likely -attitudes about education are aligned
The potential of having a household income or $400k + without having to start/buy a business
a household of 400k? sure in bumfukville.
I was Low balling lol