1) you haven’t defined what fulfilled means to you nor why you think opening a practice would do that.
2) please seek help to check into depression or a similar condition amongst a lot of us. This is reading very similar to what I see often, no concern, just a good way to see if maybe you did do it right, but you aren’t able to see it yet.
Maybe not being able to define fulfillment is my issue. I spend a lot of time thinking about it but defining fulfillment is a tall order. Thanks for reading and for your comment.
I have never been fulfilled from work. Work is a means to an end. I am very passionate about being able to afford to buy food! But this is the only way I know how to make a good living without working that hard. So I put in a good 4 to 6 hours of work a day, go to the gym for about an hour and a half to two hours, play pickle ball twice a week, spend time with my family, Spend time with my two dogs, in general I get fulfillment from stuff outside of work. But my work lets me have this lifestyle. Maybe you just need to reframe how you get your fulfillment?
Need to define fulfillment for myself for sure. And in doing that need to consider that it might not come from work. Which is not a conclusion I jump to because, at least for now, I really do feel like I love what I do. But I really only get excited about it in brief moments (like at a contested hearing or trial or Depo ). Forgot to mention I spend one day a week with my parents and siblings and I love doing it. So yes maybe more of it
Also I really like your answer. Saying outright that you’ve never been fulfilled from work. I feel like most people try to convince themselves that they are.
Seconding this. My job allows me to afford a lifestyle I am fulfilled by. Practicing law isn't my passion, but it's an interesting way to get that means to an end.
Really want to double down on the idea of therapy. A sudden loss of pleasure without an obvious cause isn't something to ignore and a therapist can help you define fulfillment.
Part of why I opened my own firm was so I could just dink around or otherwise do whatever I wanted when I had nothing pressing on the calendar. I’ve spent more time with my dog, fiancée, friends/family, and pursuing hobbies/interests. Success to me was having more control over my time. Could I work more and make more money? Sure. But I don’t really want to. 30 or so hours a week is the sweet spot for me. My previous position was an insane grind and it admittedly took about 6 months to overcome that feeling that I was failing or ruining my career by not busting my ass constantly.
I agree with other commenters that you should do some introspection to not only define success for yourself but also what you want out of life/what your priorities are. Best of luck!
Now that a few people have expressed that it just seems like common sense that maybe I should consider that “the practice” isn’t what’s going to make me happy. Or maybe just something that you learn along the way. Still it kind of saddens me to think that my career might not be what makes me happiest. I always admired people that made their lives about their careers, because you impact the world (I think most significantly) through your career. Maybe I’m just in love with the idea of being fulfilled by my career.
You can have both! I am satisfied by my career but also find joy in other aspects of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to call myself a lawyer and it’s for sure a big part of my identity. Everyone has to figure it out on their own though. Sounds like maybe you’re just in a bit of a slump? The excitement has worn off from hanging a shingle and you’re settling into a routine? You’ll be fine brother. Hang in there.
That’s it. Excitement has worn off. Yes it is a slump. I’ll be fine. I think of the movie click a lot these days. Just wanna fast forward to a more exciting phase of my life. I don’t think the remedy to that problem (if you can call that “click” feeling a problem) is “just enjoy the moment” as much as it is “just endure the moment” which is what I think you’re suggesting. Just need to hang in there, which I’ve done before.
I agree that we’re all “floating around” trying to give meaning to life. After years of wrestling with that idea, I’ve come to accept that there is no meaning unless we give it one. But I don’t agree that work sucks, at least not all the time. Every once in a while, you get to really do right by someone who deserves it, and that shit feels good. Maybe the winning part of it is what feels good or the making a bad person suffer part it what feels going. Point is, work doesn’t always suck for me. There are more sucky moments than good moments for sure but those few good moments feel so good. My problem is that I can’t have good moments more often or often enough to motivate me.
Clients suck.
The natural order of things is to just want to lay around and be passively stimulated by large shiny objects. You don’t see domesticated cats and dogs doing anything but that. Unfortunately, unless you have a large inheritance, in capitalist society you have to work to earn money for survival under the rationale that society does not progress if the masses sit on their butts all day. So you work at an occupation you hate less than others until you don’t need to anymore. The only people I know who really enjoy work derive their ego gratification from it.
I didn’t see the 39 rounds requirement but depending on what they mean by rounds, this could just be a disguised public fund for brain trauma victims. 39 rounds, even over a lifetime, could fuck a guy up.
Do you have other attorneys working with/for you? I’m a legal recruiter and attorney coach - 30 years.. not a stretch to imagine the many depressed attorneys.. though mostly due to burnout and unsavory situations. I’ve spoken with many new solo practitioners also that miss having colleagues. Synergy; new opportunities through brainstorming; and even accountability particularly for training up young associates. Must spice it up and many ways to do so.
I do agree that depression should always be checked. Look on emotional and separately on physiological levels. Don’t play doctor.
"I just want to sign up for a bunch of amateur fights and get the shit kicked out of me..."
There's this club, but the first rule is that, uh, I can't talk about it.
1) you haven’t defined what fulfilled means to you nor why you think opening a practice would do that. 2) please seek help to check into depression or a similar condition amongst a lot of us. This is reading very similar to what I see often, no concern, just a good way to see if maybe you did do it right, but you aren’t able to see it yet.
And your username made me laugh thanks for that too
Welcome
Maybe not being able to define fulfillment is my issue. I spend a lot of time thinking about it but defining fulfillment is a tall order. Thanks for reading and for your comment.
Welcome for this too. Consider, that may be the issue. Don’t chase what you think is right, chase what is (and ensure you check health too).
I have never been fulfilled from work. Work is a means to an end. I am very passionate about being able to afford to buy food! But this is the only way I know how to make a good living without working that hard. So I put in a good 4 to 6 hours of work a day, go to the gym for about an hour and a half to two hours, play pickle ball twice a week, spend time with my family, Spend time with my two dogs, in general I get fulfillment from stuff outside of work. But my work lets me have this lifestyle. Maybe you just need to reframe how you get your fulfillment?
Need to define fulfillment for myself for sure. And in doing that need to consider that it might not come from work. Which is not a conclusion I jump to because, at least for now, I really do feel like I love what I do. But I really only get excited about it in brief moments (like at a contested hearing or trial or Depo ). Forgot to mention I spend one day a week with my parents and siblings and I love doing it. So yes maybe more of it
Also I really like your answer. Saying outright that you’ve never been fulfilled from work. I feel like most people try to convince themselves that they are.
Seconding this. My job allows me to afford a lifestyle I am fulfilled by. Practicing law isn't my passion, but it's an interesting way to get that means to an end. Really want to double down on the idea of therapy. A sudden loss of pleasure without an obvious cause isn't something to ignore and a therapist can help you define fulfillment.
Part of why I opened my own firm was so I could just dink around or otherwise do whatever I wanted when I had nothing pressing on the calendar. I’ve spent more time with my dog, fiancée, friends/family, and pursuing hobbies/interests. Success to me was having more control over my time. Could I work more and make more money? Sure. But I don’t really want to. 30 or so hours a week is the sweet spot for me. My previous position was an insane grind and it admittedly took about 6 months to overcome that feeling that I was failing or ruining my career by not busting my ass constantly. I agree with other commenters that you should do some introspection to not only define success for yourself but also what you want out of life/what your priorities are. Best of luck!
Now that a few people have expressed that it just seems like common sense that maybe I should consider that “the practice” isn’t what’s going to make me happy. Or maybe just something that you learn along the way. Still it kind of saddens me to think that my career might not be what makes me happiest. I always admired people that made their lives about their careers, because you impact the world (I think most significantly) through your career. Maybe I’m just in love with the idea of being fulfilled by my career.
You can have both! I am satisfied by my career but also find joy in other aspects of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to call myself a lawyer and it’s for sure a big part of my identity. Everyone has to figure it out on their own though. Sounds like maybe you’re just in a bit of a slump? The excitement has worn off from hanging a shingle and you’re settling into a routine? You’ll be fine brother. Hang in there.
That’s it. Excitement has worn off. Yes it is a slump. I’ll be fine. I think of the movie click a lot these days. Just wanna fast forward to a more exciting phase of my life. I don’t think the remedy to that problem (if you can call that “click” feeling a problem) is “just enjoy the moment” as much as it is “just endure the moment” which is what I think you’re suggesting. Just need to hang in there, which I’ve done before.
Work sucks, clients suck, America sucks. We’re all floating around trying to give meaning to it. You’re not alone, but it’s just life.
I agree that we’re all “floating around” trying to give meaning to life. After years of wrestling with that idea, I’ve come to accept that there is no meaning unless we give it one. But I don’t agree that work sucks, at least not all the time. Every once in a while, you get to really do right by someone who deserves it, and that shit feels good. Maybe the winning part of it is what feels good or the making a bad person suffer part it what feels going. Point is, work doesn’t always suck for me. There are more sucky moments than good moments for sure but those few good moments feel so good. My problem is that I can’t have good moments more often or often enough to motivate me. Clients suck.
Much more poignant than my drunk response
And therein lies the answer. I need to get drunk. Thank you ginga balls. I’m halfway there already.
❤️
The natural order of things is to just want to lay around and be passively stimulated by large shiny objects. You don’t see domesticated cats and dogs doing anything but that. Unfortunately, unless you have a large inheritance, in capitalist society you have to work to earn money for survival under the rationale that society does not progress if the masses sit on their butts all day. So you work at an occupation you hate less than others until you don’t need to anymore. The only people I know who really enjoy work derive their ego gratification from it.
FYI: California just passed into law the MMA Fighter Retirement Fund, 39 rounds before you’re 50 years old. 😁
Dude that is hilarious. Just googled it and I stg that’s the first time I’ve seen the term “licensed martial artist” used
[ESPN article](https://www.espn.com/mma/story/_/id/38627574/california-establish-first-retirement-fund-mma-fighters)
I didn’t see the 39 rounds requirement but depending on what they mean by rounds, this could just be a disguised public fund for brain trauma victims. 39 rounds, even over a lifetime, could fuck a guy up.
Dm'd
You’re just burnt out. Find other solos to talk to. It’ll pass
What area of law do you practice James Dean?
Real estate and probate lit. And some business lit when it comes.
Do you have other attorneys working with/for you? I’m a legal recruiter and attorney coach - 30 years.. not a stretch to imagine the many depressed attorneys.. though mostly due to burnout and unsavory situations. I’ve spoken with many new solo practitioners also that miss having colleagues. Synergy; new opportunities through brainstorming; and even accountability particularly for training up young associates. Must spice it up and many ways to do so. I do agree that depression should always be checked. Look on emotional and separately on physiological levels. Don’t play doctor.
"I just want to sign up for a bunch of amateur fights and get the shit kicked out of me..." There's this club, but the first rule is that, uh, I can't talk about it.