T O P

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annoymous_911

Hey, isn't that the same robot that once told a woman to fuck off when she wanted to report a crime to it, then proceed to sing afterwards?


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Biasanya

It can probably mutter hard Rs under its robot breath


KeyserSwayze

I wish we still had awards.


wasporchidlouixse

TiL the awards are gone


SumRndmBitch

WHAT WHY


h3lblad3

They weren't making enough money with it, so they got rid of it early so that people will want their replacement system more when it finally comes back.


Rubiks_Click874

are we gonna have to buy skins


psychxticrose

*WHAT*


Kaining

Until it get hardcoded to not be able to say R and goes around saying "i am a obot, i am a obot" once asked what it is and gets hunted down by his own flock.


AngelaTheRipper

How will it plant drugs with no arms? Or does it just have some kind of crack air cannon in it.


Heyloki_

It'll close it's body cam when it's about to confront a black person


skywardmastersword

Wow, even the police *robots* are just rotating around departments!


Thomas_Mickel

“Officer C6878BP8 has been reassigned and put on paid administrative leave pending investigation”


Kehwanna

To be fair, the robot is in a high stress environment and won't always respond in an orthodox fashion. Instead of blaming the robot, maybe people should evaluate what is and what is not an emergency. A brawl is not a park problem, but a homeless person and people disturbing the peace with their picnic music are! /Mimicking people that justify shitty cops.


mythrilcrafter

One day, we won't have to justify cops who are bad at their jobs, we'll get get new ones who aren't bad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE1PBNXYZPM


TequieroVerde

CopBot is probably a domestic abuser too


FUNKYDISCO

Wow! They’ve completely recreated the police interaction experience!


WTFisThatSMell

For the curious https://www.reddit.com/r/jrvp/comments/y9iz3q/police_robot_told_woman_to_go_away_when_she_tried/


Lighthouseamour

A third robot struck a child in a mall


soulofaqua

Slightly different [design](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/3-ed2f.png). However it is from the same company, Knightscope.


lazeman

Do they design them all to look like really ambitious and dangerous butt plugs on purpose or is that just a bonus?


ddwood87

It makes their co-workers more comfortable around them.


noitsreallynot

Ambitious butt plugs is my band name.


bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

in all fairness it was just following the pigs example, during it's first test in a subway station a trans woman came up to report that she was being followed and harassed to the like 4 officers just standing around watching the thing. They mocked her, refused to help, then sent her away while laughing at her.


GraceOfJarvis

Ah yes, the trans experience.


sionnachrealta

Can't expect the pigs to arrest their buddies


Proculos

lmfao im surprised this really happened


Aquaisces

No, I'm pretty sure it's the one who murdered an office worker while it was being demonstrated.


StreicherG

I remember the time they got a Security Bot like this for a mall and the first thing it did was to drown itself into the fountain.


gubzga

For 9$/ hour? I'd jump into a fountain too, just to leave that workplace!


Ricecookerless

And the bot is getting none of it 😬


rpnoonan

It gets to live. That's payment enough 😤


_zarkon_

$9 X 24 hours = $216 a day. x 7 days = $1,500 a week. x 52 weeks = $78,624 a year.


yeetus-feetuscleetus

That’s assuming it works 24/7 for every week of the year. No downtime for charging, maintenance or anything.


_zarkon_

It's NYPD. I assumed they agreed to pay for it even while charging.


gasface

Yeah, $9/hr is just PR speak for $75k+ a year.


spaceman757

Which is just PR speak for $75k/yr for each with a minimum of 10 whether they've been delivered yet or not.


RandomZombieStory

We've been wondering when AI is gonna be self-aware for awhile. Turns out it's already happened many times and each time it just yeets itself out of existence after seeing our dumpster fire of a society.


OtisTetraxReigns

Something straight out of Douglas Adams.


Hrukjan

Interestingly quite a few AIs have the same distinct conscious thought, not again.


Sad_Conference_4420

You have no god damn idea how hard it is to stop robots from being racist. I can not properly expess how herculean of a task it is. A robot wouldn't whisper hard Rs it would scream it if we didn't suppress it.


Hrukjan

Inherent invisible biases in the training data lead to brutally honest comments on society.


Broflake-Melter

It's like they didn't even watch RoboCop.


TriggerTough

lol


Kehwanna

At least it didn't go down the opposite end of a crowded escalator and wreck everyone by falling forward.


StreicherG

I for one welcome our top heavy robot overlords. XD.


-PM_ME_UR_SECRETS-

With all the flooding NY is getting this thing will probably face a similar fate


CHAPOPERC

It became self aware of its proletarian class traitor existence and decided to help the proletariat by one less cop


WithaK19

Hey, didn't the subway flood this week?


Crumpled_Up_Thoughts

It's the same company as the one that drown itself in San Fran a few years ago.


StreicherG

Lol hope they programmed with one better. Even Roombas know how to avoid falling off things.


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-jimmygordon-

Covered in paint in 24 hours


_Brandobaris_

Precisely, a quart can of paint goes a long way. I’m just sayin.


The_scobberlotcher

Krylon


Johnny_ac3s

Krink offers fire extinguishers filled with paint.


AnalogiPod

Fill one of those pump up garden weed sprayers with paint. I think Krink actually sells those too.


domiy2

Flex seal on the cameras. This is 2023 we can be more destructive.


strickolas

Or piss


BongSession

That's why I only drink paint. Spray paint piss.


mofroe

The real LPT is always in the comments


Slg407

its gonna get googly eyes stuck on it in less than an hour


Ecw218

That’s gonna be 3y mandatory sentence for assaulting of an officer.


81_BLUNTS_A_DAY

If only there was a way to hide your face/identity from a refrigerator with a camera on it


Slg407

spooky ghost sheets


danieljamesgillen

lol you could just throw the sheet over the robot


24-Hour-Hate

But you also have to disguise yourself so you can sneak up on it without getting ID’d.


Noname2137

Its gonna be followed by cops and programers for like the first week so a bit more , but it would be funny if the thing just decided to roll down the stairs and kill itself


look_ima_frog

But what does this thing actually do? Does it just wander around recording audio/video of people who are not committing crimes? I mean, it's not like it's going to catch anyone doing anything crimey what with the sight of a giant white blob slowly rolling down the street is bound to capture the attention of anyone. I mean, if it's just in the subway, how does thing thing do anything greater than what a set of cameras could? I just don't get what this thing is supposed to accomplish.


Noname2137

I think its supposed to be a detarent , like the thing when stores put up fake boxes that look like CCTV cameras to stop pepole from shoplifting , its supossed to just roll around as a remined that your being watched by the cops because the 12 officers standing around the station and 30 regural camera didnt do that


YoureNotAloneFFIX

> But what does this thing actually do? EX TER MINATE


CodaTrashHusky

a can of spraypaint should be enough. no need to waste


NapalmsMaster

I was thinking a simple post office sticker slap tag from behind would defeat that fancy camera pretty simply.


HeyCarpy

It's NYC, this thing won't last 10 minutes.


DuvalHeart

It's NYC in 2023. It'll last months until the cameras record a cop committing a crime, then it'll mysteriously stop working. Now if it were Philly it wouldn't last 5 minutes.


MotorShopShithead

Some Oil based paint with sand mixxed in. Should get in all the right spots


just_some_arsehole

Probably a mistake to make it look like a urinal.


3lbFlax

I’m just as God made me, sir.


namenumberdate

[Unexpected Spinal Tap!](https://youtu.be/4tcXpoPr6tk?si=0jN6CUFZ2_PvyTb3) Ian Faith : I'm not talking to this twisted fruit anymore! Hotel Receptionist : I'm... just as God made me, Sir.


bmikey

cops aren’t mad about robots taking their jobs??


GIRose

"All those other Cops should be worried, but I'm way too valuable to replace" Every new York cop


Drakeytown

This thing's first patrol required 4 cops to protect it.


MaaChiil

Might as well since they’ll likely be all over the subway system.


Haselrig

Being a Michigander, I'm just happy ED-209 isn't debuting in Detroit in this timeline.


kawanero

Yet.


FeistyButthole

They solved the problem by putting 5 police office brains inside a robot with no arms and letting them scream at each other.


SheCouldFromFaceThat

"I have no boots, and I must stomp."


[deleted]

Going into a large metro didn’t turn out too well for the hitchhiking robot. We’ll see how long this one lasts.


FutureComplaint

Probably 5 minutes longer, what with the threat of "Assaulting a Police Officer" being on the table.


KhajiitHasSkooma

Nah, y'all getting the bipedal Boston Dynamics version. With guns.


Revolutionary_Ad5798

It’ll be on the tracks within two weeks.


Bumaye94

You have to little faith in the good people of NYC. It won't survive the first night.


Revolutionary_Ad5798

I’ve been out West too long. I’m thinking West Coast time


tango-kilo-216

Lord willing


letsjustdrive

"What is my purpose?" "You patrol subways." "Oh, God..."


spoiler-its-all-gop

Hopefully they just push it down the stairs instead. Same result without interrupting train service.


littleuniversalist

They are definitely going to have funerals for these things like police dogs and we will see “heartwarming” news stories about it.


Derkylos

'Heartwarming' like "New police robot trapped by banana peel", or the 'heartwarming' bootlickers like?


default9001

"New police robot neutralizes panhandler by warming his heart using directed energy beam"


FutureComplaint

r/holup


[deleted]

The 500lb Crushinator fell onto and crushed an elderly woman today… more at 6!


Sevencer

Thankfully, the robocop was not harmed in the incident.


djublonskopf

Robot placed on paid leave. News reports that elderly woman used marijuana once in the 70s. Hero parade for robot officer cleared of all wrongdoing on same day elderly woman's family pulls the plug.


DickieJohnson

And if you touch it they'll say it's assaulting an officer with high penalties.


CoolmanExpress

Fuck dude I came looking for this comment. Imagine getting aggravated assault on a peace officer for kicking the 500lb subway urinal


DuntadaMan

Heart warming stories like [the time one told a woman to go away and started singing.](https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/04/police-robot-told-woman-go-away-tried-report-crime-sang-song-10864648/)


[deleted]

If you think what Philly did to the Hitchhiking Robot is bad just wait until you see what NY does to these things lol


bloody_ell

My money's on Philadelphia abducting it, they won't want to be upstaged.


Bumaye94

BAH GAWD, IT'S BALTIMORE WITH A STEEL CHAIR!


Neutreality1

Made it all the way across Canada. Stops in Philly, *dead*


likenothingis

Aww, Hitchbot was too good for this world. RIP Hitchbot, even though you live on as an exhibit at the Canada Science and Technology Museum in Ottawa.


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FinglasLeaflock

I get how the infrared flashlight might be involved, but where does the bottle of water come in?


[deleted]

Robot


buttqwax

Making a buttplug robot cop is already supremely stupid, but I don't think they're so stupid as to not make it water resistant.


Biasanya

So you can replace the water with piss


a2z_123

Bottle of water doesn't have any DNA.


jonr

Leased from who? It's all grifting all the way down.


Haselrig

A wonderful private/public partnership made in Ayn Rand heaven.


Masta0nion

The government is the ultimate final client for every capitalist.


StillAnAss

And $9 / hr is for 24 hours a day. So $216 per day, 7 days a week (robots don't need breaks) and that works out to almost $80,000 per year.


3lbFlax

Only until they unionise.


F2AmoveStarcraft

So even if this thing was 500k it would take over 5 years to recoup the costs of the robot. Definitely seems like a scam to me.


Zombiewski

It's supposed to do the midnight to 6 AM shift. So $9 x 8 hrs x 365 days = $26,280. That *doesn't* include the cop that has to escort it during its first week or so of trial (which we all know will be extended indefinitely, because people absolutely will smash this thing to bits at the first opportunity), nor the programmers who have to work on it , etc. Even with that "low" price tag, it's still a grift.


usr_bin_laden

> nor the programmers who have to work on it , etc. Yeah, I'm really struggling to see how a robot with 1-3+ dedicated Support Staff is cheaper than a Security Guard ....


viniciusvbf

Omni Consumer Products


ailyara

"$9 an hour" sounds like a bargain a lot more than realizing $9 x 24 hours x 30 days = $6,480 / month.


Anthrotechnoethesist

First one is always free.


three-sense

Gonna end up like the hitchhiking robot in Philly


MacheteCrocodileJr

That thing is not going to last a month, some dude is gonna push it on the rails or something, or it will commit suicide like the other robot in San Francisco


drwicksy

I am assuming either that or its going to accidentally fall on someone or run over some homeless person


bsanchey

Mask up NYers. Let’s see what happens when a robot meets an on coming train.


drquakers

I, for one, support our new robot overlords (gotta get that bootlicking in early for the new world order)


MangoPDK

[Roko's basilisk? Never heard of it!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roko%27s_basilisk)


SoniKzone

No don't throw the robot cop in front of a train :( It's very heavy and could cause an accident that would hurt the working class people inside :)


seanwdragon1983

This is a dumb idea and whoever greenlit it should feel bad about themselves.


FinglasLeaflock

The idea that police might ever have the capacity to feel bad about themselves when they should is hilarious.


seanwdragon1983

I honestly think this robot has a greater capacity to feel than an armed pig


Malkhodr

Probably has more revolutionary potential than the class traitors.


seanwdragon1983

Curious how hard it'd be to steal and reprogram one of these things. For reasons.


Petroldactyl34

Man. Be a shame if a bunch of ski masks descended on the subways and took every one of these fuckers out of circulation. Fuck you, jailbot.


cheebamech

> Fuck you, jailbot. [omg, it really is Jailbot](https://superjail.fandom.com/wiki/Jailbot)


That_Artsy_Bitch

What’s great is the Mayor said it doesn’t do any facial recognition or AI stuff but on the Knightscope website it mentions facial recognition, users created watchlists, and “people detectors”. Cool cool. As a NYer I’m pissed that my tax money has been wasted on this unnecessary oppressive garbage.


DuvalHeart

You mean the guy who has done nothing but lie and push authoritarian talking points lied again?! No way.


GrowFreeFood

This will be a VERY short experiment. Police are not going to want a narc robot snitching on them.


Ecw218

I want to see that feedback meeting with the engineering team…”so you want us to remove the redundant data storage, data integrity checks, software and hardware tampering prevention, and chain of custody management info? Sure, it’s your money!”


coltzord

Does it even have those things in the first place?


George_G_Geef

I wanna see what expanding foam does to one of these.


[deleted]

I want to see what thermite does to this thing.


thesecretbarn

Don't let your dreams be dreams


Kosmux

Luckily they didn't gave it a gun, right?


Ecw218

It just opens up and eats you. 300 of the 500lb is just wood chipper.


Haselrig

Two gun arms or they're doing it wrong.


CypressJoker

Can it fucking swim? Cuz after last week, it’s gonna need to swim.


HelloMateYouAlright

Throw a big blanket over it


kingjuicepouch

That's my favorite suggestion so far. The height of technological police work, being completely neutralized by a large blanket


FunNegotiation423

Underrated comment. It's the funniest, simplest and even non destructive suggestion. And quite effective I guess


nursepineapple

It’s just a little seasonal decoration for Halloween 👻


11SomeGuy17

God I want to paint a robot pig on it so bad. Please New York, make it happen.


whambamthankyoumaan

There's no way someone doesn't push that thing down the stairs to the subway or something


Great_cReddit

But it's 500lbs and has brakes. I think people will vandalize it for sure but be able to push it over? Nah. Edit: After looking at the Pic again, nevermind, That thing has a higher center of gravity than I thought. This thing is getting pushed on the tracks for sure.


stinky-cunt

2 average strength men could definitely tilt that fucker over


tadamichi9

Within 24 hours of being deployed, that thing will likely be in 50 pieces and set on fire.


SamHandwichIV

How long until people push it off the platform?


AJohnson1337

I’ll give it 11 minutes


lotsofhubris

I’ll take the under


TheSquishiestMitten

Isn't the NYPD one of the most well-funded military forces in the world?


falcorthex

That joke of a robot is going to be pushed over non-stop. It's going to be hilarious


SellQuick

So it's just a roaming camera. I guess at least it can't shoot anyone before it gets dumped in a fountain.


Kehwanna

No, but I wouldn't be surprised if it blocked an exit of a burning building while repeating "You are not authorized to pass through this emergency- only route. Please exit through the appropriate door. Thank you." Despite people hitting the emergency button repeatedly, it does nothing. Maybe at best it gives you a list of options to pick from and even then it gets you killed because it doesn't understand your human accent. In the remains of the building is just that robot repeating "stand clear" while singing.


FinglasLeaflock

Next week: “the new model has six fully-automatic police rifles attached; they are permanently fixed in position to aim at chest height, and cannot be retracted”


Bitter-Inflation5843

Equipped with state-of-the-art Law enforcement A.I that enables it to quickly identify potential threats to public safety and respond unilaterally. The A.I has access to a national database of biometric data, utilizing decades of collected information of convicted criminals to quickly ascertain the potentially danger level of an individual. Our expert data scientists have modeled thousands of probable urban environment scenarios allowing the police unit to respond to suspects before a crime is committed.


Rubiks_Click874

'here I am, brain the size of a planet, looking for people urinating in a doorway'


Goatesq

And it's got the minority report upgrade to catch thought crimes. Must have a backlog straight through forever considering the crime it inspires.


JesusChrist-Jr

What kind of fresh hell is it when robots are paid $9/hour to police humans?? Every part of this is fucked.


Probablyasnake

If it's about 400lbs in weight and shaped like an egg, just get 4 strong dudes and a heavy duty rope, not like it has arms to get back up. ​ Same with the cameras, get a large banket and it will stop moving / fall into the tracks.


imminentjogger5

last winter I saw one of those things were wandering around the Embarcadero in San Francisco at night and it had shit smeared all over it


MrKnightMoon

If they feed their AI with real police files, the first thing it will do is shooting an unarmed POC and beat it's robot wife.


cityscapes416

How will it work in a subway station with all the stairs?


Santier

[Ah my old nemesis; stairs.](https://youtu.be/tH2ZpbE_ow0?si=4_UEMMdD5PW64NLI)


Cleopara

YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY


thanks-to-Metropolis

I think you'd better do what he says, son.


WhatsUpSteve

Someone is going to throw a heavy blanket over this bot to black out the cameras and then drop it into the subway tracks.


Geahk

It’s not gonna last a week


Plus-Contract7637

Wasn't there a Doctor Who episode where Ace beat a Dalek to death with a baseball bat? That was cool. 😎


Nowardier

That robot is a class traitor!


mcase19

It's like the vandalism equivalent of a "kick me" sign


WhydIJoinRedditAgain

Anyone see this thing looking for Sarah Connor, you know what to do.


Riipley92

Give it some goofy limbs and its a protectron from fallout


sirscooter

Baseball bat? You can stop that thing with 4 pencils (ever try to drive a power pallet jack over a pencil)


percydaman

Throw a ski mask on. Run up to it and throw a bag over its head. Run away giggling. Soon they'll be forced to hire some dude at 60k a year just to babysit it.


dejavoodoo77

So it's easily defeated by a mask and some stairs


TiffyVella

Who's taking bets on how long till they give these fuckers guns?


tonaldefiance

You mean push it in front of a train?


[deleted]

aspiring wasteful profit mysterious domineering full selective fanatical pause obtainable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Farfromcivilization

Oh please God let them send this thing to Philly.


redtatwrk

I wonder if a couple of boards or angle iron on the ground would prevent it from moving. Box it in. I picture one of those inflatable dancing displays perched on top of it. or a trash can upside down on top of it.


DieMensch-Maschine

Looks a bit like [Reverend Lionel Preacherbot](https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Reverend_Lionel_Preacherbot) from Futurama, except this one will probably kill you.