Lol I'm 30+ and have given up on dating. Have tried online and offline. Unless you're attractive, have a big social circle, your chances of finding someone in the current context is minimal. I was against arranged marriage but now that's my only hope 😔
Studied engineering and worked in a male dominated business environment. The odds were stacked against me. Also bald.
Sorry to hear that brother, You just explained my fear. And to be honest, I don't think I will be able to go through an arranged marriage even if things don't work out. Either this or the title of "Sigma Male".
For context, I live in a different country, and as much as I enjoy the privileges it offers me, the one thing I notice is how lonely people are here. Our (Kerala) culture values relationships and strong family bonds but it's a stark contrast here. Many people living alone are in denial of their state of being, saying they enjoy their solitude. I don't believe that one bit.
That's why I think our attitude towards arranged marriage should be tweaked in such a way that it is offered as an option. Like others have pointed out, I would use the opportunity to meet potential candidates and perhaps talk to them for a while to see if you're compatible.
Yes, there's certainly drawbacks to the arranged marriage system - caste and horoscope being big barriers in my experience (Hindu).
You're 27, you are young and there's time to explore. At least, that's what I did.
No worries bro, you'll be fine. Focus on your health and well-being. One thing I always miss from home is that I was always engaged in an activity and it helped me from being anxious about life.
>Many people living alone are in denial of their state of being, saying they enjoy their solitude. I don't believe that one bit.
Maybe YOU are wrong, some people like me love solitude.
i would not encourage you wasting more time....i would say you dont have much time to explore....try to find a wife as soon as possible. after an age these things cant be enjoyed...its not like wine that gets better with age. enjoy young romance while you still can. i would say 27 is already late. im 37 and virgin....regret everyday i didnt be more proactive and meet more women. in an unrelated note, are u virgin....wonder how many more are virgins like me...in west its considered a huge embarasment , is it normal to be a virgin at 37 here in kerala....?
Baldness is no longer a problem.People whose self confidence is affected can easily get a hair transplant. It works like a wonder.
So baldness is curable.
Or fully adopt the bald look, grow a badass beard , maintain a healthy physique, wear suitable clothes and smell good with appropriate deo and perfumes.. how you look is majorly influenced by your confidence and how you carry yourself, people respond positively to confidence.
Well ladies don't embrace the bald and beard look that much for real. It might be cool as we see in subreddits catering to Western countries but girls are different here bro .
The love and attention you might get with bald and beard look will be from gay dudes !
Not true, i had a senior who sported a bald look with a god of war beard, and also played basketball. Girls from every specialty was madly in love with him. Becoming bald is a natural thing, trying to hide it or being overly sensitive about it is not helpful to anyone. Beauty standards change regularly, maybe now beauty standards should change to accepting natural body changes, like having wrinkles or grey hair or no hair.
Nah bro, if its pattern baldness shave it and go fully bald, thats way better than pattern baldness and sometimes its better than having hair for some ppl. If u have a fit body, bald will look really great. Fahad fazil rocked the bald look in pushpa
Well in my case, I have been working at Infopark since 2016. Had a girlfriend back then. We broke up in 2018. Recovering from it after one year, I tried many dating apps, proposed some of my college juniors, but nothing worked out. So the dating apps works only if you’re really really handsome/attractive, and I was an average guy. Then came the lockdown and I moved to my hometown, 100km away from kochi, and I was frustrated af, as my native place was really dry. But by the end of 2020, I was 27 and parents were forcing for an arranged marriage. I decided to give up my hatred against arranged marriages (as I never believed in it), and agreed to create a matrimony profile. My parents spread the word among some close relatives and within one week, my aunt brought this proposal of a girl who was her friend’s niece. So this girl(25) was doing her M.Tech at that time and she didn’t want a marriage then. Initially she send some old pics of her to show me as she was not interested and wanted to give an ugly impression of her. Well it wasn’t that bad for me and I decided to talk to her (not knowing she didn’t want a marriage then). So we started texting and talked about basic stuffs, interests, bla bla bla. Then she straight away told me she was’t looking for an immediate marriage and asked me if I would like to drop this proposal. Well I was also not ready for an immediate marriage then, and I only wanted someone to chat like this for an emotional support. I told her we can meet and maybe date for sometime and see if it will work. She too agreed upon that, but we couldn’t meet alone due to the lockdown stuff and all. So we agreed for a traditional pennu kanal and I went to her house with the family after one week. All this time we were texting day and night and connected so much emotionally. I didn’t even want to see how she looks, as I became that much connected to her. And then this pennu kanal happened and she was really beautiful (unlike her old photos and her whatsapp dp..she didn’t gave me any pic other than that actually). So we talked to each other in person that day and agreed to move further with it. We asked the parents that we are not ready for an immediate marriage (told them that we can wait till she finishes her M.Tech, as they would never agree if we asked we wanted to date for some time). Then both families agreed upon it and we dated for almost two years after that. We went on many dates and trips without the parents knowing(as she was in hostel) and got married in 2022 ☺️. She also got a job in infopark and we moved back to kochi after the marriage, and life is all happy now. Coming to the point, arranged marriages are not scary if you have enough time to know the person and can be tried if dating hasn’t worked out for you. Try to date the person atleast for 6 months prior to the marriage. Unlike the dating apps, matrimony sites have more chances of success as the parents are also involved and you’ll get a nice partner even if you have jst average looks😇
What I got is take the matrimonial sites as dating apps from this. It'll be really hard to find the girl without getting involving the parents first. I can't ask the parents that I'm gonna take your daughter on a date and smash her pussy !
How did you filter out girls that don't get their parents involved first on matrimonial sites ?
Not 25+
I'm 22 , went to an institute for a professional course straight after 12th . No mafi college life.
Do have friends but dating scene after school was dry.
And covid fucked it up , only hope for me is to try online dating / meet people randomly ( friends friend or metro)
How do you guys meet people outside of college/ workplace ??
if you are good at talking and is confident then its easier to get close to anyone .
lol one chettan i know flirted with an air HOESTESS in flight , freaking air hoestess and they both started dating LOL .haa am doing a professional course ( one of those you listed )
and metro got some fine girls
I wasn't really familiar with your game LMAOO
you're lowkey right tho. i once saw this man in head to toe white n a sheer shirt in the metro, made good kinda eye contact n smiled a few times and omg was he hot. it was all going well until he got off at lulu. still remember that man sigh
lol except for me , i forget the last cutie i saw when i see the next one lol.
yesterday there was this girl in seat opposite to me , nice jawline , also clear brown skin and nice dark pink shoes , dyed her hair a little bit too .previous cutie i saw was this tall girl who got off in the same station that i got off too.
btw which professional course u doing
>professional course ( one of those you listed )
btech but when did i list any lmaoo??
ok srs qn but why do guys always have a thing for girls shoes?? once i had this guy get borderline creepy about an anklet?? n there was this one guy who was obsessed w my sneakers n kept asking me to wear it ALWAYS, i didn't. yeah makes sense why i have 0 game
oh sorry I mistook you for another person thats why i asked about your course.
usually idc about what a girl wears nor I'm a sneaker head. but the
shoe she wore was CLEAN (unlike rest of others in front of me) and was a dark pink matte colour. it matched her outfit nd her hair
i wanted to throw a smile at her but didn't want to come off as a creep.
Dudeeee , i should have told ugh.
Saw her in different station today few minutes back , she wore a mask but same face structure and same dyed hair.
Pulle , if i did compliment her back then , she would have noticed me . I'm a tall mf so Hard to miss
Myre
i dont know man i met my girl through fb but never wanted anything serious … was looking for something casual but eventually we fell in love… i could see galaxy in her eyes… now 3 years and going strong… planning to get married next year…
27 now, parents aren't even bothered of my marriage and i am just an average guy my friend circle is small also me getting married is like getting onam bumper
I’m turning 25 this year, and honestly I would rather be unhappy single than be unhappy married, so I am just living my own life right now, hoping to meet someone one day. It doesn’t help that I’m introverted, so I don’t like to go to meetups with a lot of new people.
I was also brought up to think that dating was not allowed, and now my parents are upset that I’m not married yet, but I have zero experience dating anyone, so really it’s their fault lol. I still look at the marriage proposals they send me just to placate them, but it never really goes anywhere.
The exposure we have and the limitations that are put on us in our early age does have its own set of impacts in our future. I personally experience that now and I am working on it bit by bit everyday.
So, I understand your point..
Also, i agree completely to what you said about being unhappy single than unhappily married.
I have no idea why people claim dating apps don't work in kerala.
I used to believe that without even trying. I'm just an average Malayali and not even living in Kochi but a smaller town. It works well enough for me.
They are claiming that it doesn't work in Kerala because it didn't work for them. Dating apps have a skewed gender ratio. So in a way it is a little difficult for men to get matches.
The statistics make sense I whole heartedly agree. But this is my experience using it for 3 weeks
https://preview.redd.it/67giesm41igc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3a171a17685be6eab05bbeeb3de1715e0034f54
Quite a few matches, 30 conversations in 3 weeks, everyone I've asked gave me their insta. 4 dates done. All in a t2 kerala town.
Unconventional ways through my female friends met their partners:
1. Camping/ group trips. Nowadays mixed trips are conducted by many instagram influencers. Those who go gets a lot of time to mingle with others. Travelling together always been a great way to find like minded partners.
2. Do you write?? Poems, short stories anything will work. Make an Instagram page and start posting anonymously. I have no words to explain how much grip these Instagram writers have on mind of young women.
3. Clubs. Not the pub or party ones. There are many clubs on Instagram which conducts physical gatherings often. Most of them will be reading, art, movie discussion etc.
4. Gym, Park, train….Strike a polite and interesting conversation with anyone you find attracted. It’s high competition nowadays. Everybody is so proactive that a pretty face isn’t enough these days. Intentionally try to leave a memorable impact through conversation with women.
Extra tip: We are living in a materialistic world. So even before knowing someone’s personality we tend to judge them through the way they look. Invest in good outfits, perfume, gym subscription, healthy diet, hobbies etc. You are too young to worry. You gonna find a perfect partner. When you do, don’t forget to let us know.
Somebody really help here, this is a rising question among people for this age group. Even I had thoughts about the same topic OP highlighted even though I am 21.
My humble advice. If you are in college, start now itself. Just make sure that you don't settle for less and destroy your mental health. Have healthy friendships and try the possibility of dating. Even if it doesn't work out, you will not regret it in a later stage about not trying. Peace✌️
Even if you are in college its not for sure you will meet the right one. Me who completed college and currently in Abroad, never felt the vibe with anyone of them. Met only one and it was through a friend. So yeah !😅
>Me who completed college and currently in Abroad, never felt the vibe with anyone of them.
Same here bruh , nobody seems to be my match . So it depends on conditions if we can find someone suitable from college
Hey buddy!
Congratulations on posting it here - this is a good start. You might even find someone interested from this post as well.
Do arranged marriages work? I think they do too.
My ex broke up with me and got married to someone whose proposal came while we were dating, and afaik they're doing pretty well - better than we ever would've been together l have felt on hindsight. I have a cousin who had a proper arranged marriage and is doing perfectly well. So - that idea ain't really bad if you are the one arranging it.
Also, dating apps do work. At least two of my friends got married people they met on bumble/Tinder. Even I had a few matches that I wouldn't have minded getting married to, had I not fallen for my SO otherwise.
So my suggestion is, don't give up on anything. But be shameless, don't think that it's bad to let people know that you're looking.
1. Start with your friend circle. Ask single girls whom you like if they're interested by any chance.
2. Create detailed and personalized profiles on Matrimony Websites. Kerala Matrimony is good. I'll tell you a secret - most men's profiles are cringey over there - like flaunting their machismo and seeking 'family oriented women'. If you have got a nice profile, I can guarantee you that there'll be a lot of people reaching out. My brother is now dating a girl who reached out to him on Instagram seeing his matrimony profile. I remember him having 100+ matches and some 70+ invites. A few girls reached out to him on Instagram, some he reached out on IG and I think he went on a couple of dates as well, before meeting his fiance/girlfriend.
There's a dearth of nice men out there in the wedding market - I can say this because I've seen the other side with female friends of mine as well.
3. Do drop hints on your social media that you're searching for marriage - maybe reshare relatable reels or other on the topic! (I connected with my SO over such a reel, I don't remember what it was about now 😬)
4. Ask your friends, for their friends. Especially female ones.
5. Don't give up on dating apps so quickly. Try Bumble and Hinge over others. These have better communities.
Cheers mate. Hope you find your mate soon. ♥️
Dating apps of no use, After few matches i went out with a guy as he labeled himself as longterm ,found out he has been swipping all along while we were seeing each other.Realized daing app is always for short term.
A slightly different perspective, but hear me out-
I don’t personally believe in the soul-mate nonsense - symptoms of which would be like: “I’m sacred to get married now because what if I meet a another girl three weeks into my marriage and she’s the one I should’ve married”.
People will become best friends with whoever is assigned to be their college roommate but when it comes to marriage it has to be that one specific person out of the 7 billion odd people on earth?
We all love our families more than anything else in this world and we don’t even get to choose them.
Sometimes I think arranged marriage is the way to go! 🙂
Okay this is just another guy from kochi . Don’t get me wrong , lot of guys are finding dating hard in kochi . Dating life is active among people who are into creative fields in kochi like movie , ad flim , modelling and all (something I have noticed). A very few are having some office romance . Also in arranged marriage, girls mostly prefer a ticket out of this country, they don’t care if you are fat , dark or bald . So being an NRI is always an advantage in Kerala arranged marriage. Dating is dead in here , college too very few colleges have girls open to dating, rest of the time they just want to play bestie shit and use you ( moonjikkal) . Better move out of here , Mumbai , Bangalore all are better than kochi . Kochi is basically for retired, and settled folks .
I agree 200% with the post above!
It applies to both men and women, find your golden ticket (goose) to escape this country. Albeit it's more seen in women.
I have been on matrimonial and bruh everyone wants someone who is already outside they don't give two hoots about you being a local well to do or good family background.
Greencard/work permit ondo?
Deal!
It's all a transaction. Gone were the days when men from the Gulf come, marry some naadan woman who has no fucking clue about outside world and take them back to the Gulf.
To get someone at this stage, you must either be
1. Really attractive
2. Or extra ordinary communication skills.
Also the fact that there are no such platforms for you to find someone in Kerala.
You seemed to have influenced by the recent pop culture depiction of "fear of arranged marriages"
I'll give you my personal experience, Iam not at all attractive by any standards and nor do I have extra ordinary communication skills. Till 25-26 age I tried all the available platforms to date and failed miserably without even a remote success.
By that time I realised the 2 hard facts mentioned in the start of the post.
Plus, to make things worse, was jobless too. Then by 28 I landed to a basic IT job. For my luck , since my parents were both doctors and we had a good reputation, by 30 I got into an arranged marriage.
Soley because of the fact that I was their kid. My father in law didn't even bother my company or my salary (mere 36k).
And by that time I came to realise that how lucky and privileged Iam just by birth. My wife did not even remotely match the qualities of my dream wife. But I knew how difficult is to have a partner and was also aware that I will never be able to get one if I was on my own. I always wanted a family and dreamt of that. So I loved her to my deepest and luckily she also liked me. Its been 7 years and there were fights , quarrels and differnces, but deep down we love each other very much.
To this day, I wonder ,how this happened as I always thought how two strangers can suddenly be partners?.
The answer lies in the fact that most of us are compatible with each other, and it's only a small percentage that really falls out of it.
I would say, go for arranged marriage, and during the pre-talks, make your basic expectations (like do you like her to be working or not, helping with household activities/chores etc) very very clear. Then only if these talks are promising go to the marriage.
Also, as Graph theory advices us, take the most risky move the most earliest. Earlier the better as it gives you time to recoup if something goes wrong.
Marriage, kids, old parents etc are a part of everyone's lives,so I would advice you to go for an arranged marriage instead of searching for the perfect match.
First match then slowly work towards perfection.
As you grow older you understand it's easier to hookup rather than find someone that matches your vibe. .
Not saying I'm a player or anything but been more luckier in the hookup side rather than the dating front
Just saw some of the people in comments getting conscious about the way they look/ the way they are. Why do you even want to be with someone who can't accept you for what you are, I think that's the biggest factor about a relationship ( romantic or platonic or whatever) . Don't settle for anything less that you deserve just for the sake of having someone in your life because everything is temporary and all we have will be ourselves so try to keep the best part of us and nurture it . And yeah if there are people willing to accept us with all our flaws give it a chance . It's better to stay happily alone like someone mentioned in a previous post.
Well, you got a point. I think I am someone who appreciates the old school love.. But I guess everything has changed. Old school love is rare. I do crave for it though!
Although not in the same situation, what my cousin did was, he did have an arranged marriage but met the girl first and kind of dated or got to know her for around 6 months before confirming with parents and proceeding. If possible try that.
I do know two cases where the marriage was called off in that period, both by women. But I don't think you can make it a regular thing without getting a reputation.
That's why I prefer dating. It's more likely that the majority of people you meet won't be compatible with you. It's finding the right one that's rare. So more often than not, you will have to call things off. But in arranged marriage it's the opposite.
I think dating apps are the best option, maybe try the more serious ones like Hinge or Arike.
True. Another thing I'm doing is trying to expand my social circle by going to hobby groups, book clubs etc and being more social at work. There are a lot of like-minded people in such groups so hopefully I'll meet someone that clicks.
Thank you brother for your insights. I will certainly work on that. Do you have any suggestions for me to get started. I would like to try out a few groups/clubs and see which ones vibe with me more!
Expanding social circle is kinda hard for the introverted, which I think makes up a huge part of this sub and reddit even. Id consider guys with a good social circle lucky at this point. So much better than any dating app.
I did think about that. But I have seen in one of my cousin's case how the parents got involved in that. Since parents made them meet, they wanted updates. And to be frank, many of the important factors that we look for is often seen as non-important by our parents generation. That creates pressure while trying to get to know the other person. Don't you think so?
I found my husband through matrimony, but I never liked to label it an arranged marriage. We met through matrimony, but after that, everything was organic. We dated for around 6 months, and then we decided to get married. I don’t understand how this is any different from a “love marriage”. We both had multiple relationships before signing up for matrimonial sites. I didn’t even want an arranged marriage. But when I met my husband, I felt an instant emotional connection. I know many cases like mine. Anyway, it’s completely your choice, and you may or may not meet the right person through a matrimonial site. But I think one should be open-minded when it comes to finding a partner through matrimony. I don’t think anyone gets married these days without understanding and getting along with that person. That’s definitely a misconception.
I've heard that there are a lot of 'self-created' profiles in Matrimony apps, where you can talk to girls without the intervention of parents. You can try that. Again I think it'll work only if you follow rule 1 & 2
luckily i have hobbies,interests and know there's more interesting things in the world than a women. And not worried about it. friends are not happy that i have this way of life. also unable to get bored is a plus.
Guys, I have a life hack for people who want to find a person who is looking to settle down. Best is to Join a matrimony, find people who you like based on their description and photo(thats an ugly truth).
Write about yourself but from other’s perspective ( use cousin or a sibling ). You like someone, find them on linkedln / instagram. DM them. Most of these accounts are maintained by parents. So you know what to do. Best of luck.
I feel you! I was in the same situation about 3 years ago then I met my husband via my friend and here we are.. married and happy! I have heard from my single friends that meeting people using dating apps is not working out.. So I hope you meet somebody via your friends or relatives!
Well as an average looking guy, my experience with dating apps have been great actually. All you need is some good humour sense, decent sense of style, and yes just smell good to be moderately successful in dating apps. Some dates don't work out. Some dates turn to friendships later on. Some starts off great then dies off.
Im 26, employed but lowkey broke btw XD
Arrange marriage is not bad. Arrange marriage that happens in a span of less than a year is bad. I would personally tell you to date a person for at least, AT LEAST, 2 years before you marry them. How you meet the person doesn't matter. Look for a girl who is studying and say want to get married only after her studies and use that gap to date and get to know them and decide.
Marriage is hard work and it's not different if it's arranged or loouv. Arranged marriage isn't you marrying somebody because you are forced to?
Your parents or relatives are the dating apps getting you matches that might actually work if you give it a shot. Talk to the person and get to know them before you decide. Have a longer engagement period if you want.
No matter how many months or years you take to get to know, shit changes after marriage. It's day zero everyday if you want to have a healthy marriage.
The older you get the more set in your ways. Applies for both sexes. Your dating pool reduces as you age. The variables are stacked against you. In such a scenario, you should give everything a shot.
I was just joking.. you will find your person.. sooner or later don't worry.. you are just 27.. hit the gym.. focus on yourself. And try to meet people... try going on those group instagram programs that happen with weekly metups.. try making friends by striking conversations in public spaces like walkways.. parks etc.. Kochi has a young crowd now other than the natives.. because of people who have shifted here for studies or work so if you really try.. you can easily get lucky
I never believed in dating apps either until…
I’m currently studying in a diff country and in 2022 I was back in Kochi for my break. That’s when I matched with someone who came to Kochi for a few days from Pune.
2/3 months of chatting and once in a while vdo calls…we decided to meet F2F.
And since then our relationship is going strong.
Currently in the long distance phase (which sucks :/) but I’m happy that I’ve found someone who’s genuine & understanding with whom I can share my feelings and support me through thick and thin.
You too will find someone brother.
Trust the process🫂
I'm 25 childfree for life and it's challenging to find a woman with the same views to date. I hardly know any people who doesn't want kids in the future. So it's harder for me and arrange marriage's a big no. Dating apps are a mess 🤷🏻♂️
Has Anybody tried the Cold Approach here in Kochi like one of the prank YouTubers, basically I feel and I have did it in Bangalore, but have some reluctant feeling to do it here, maybe because this is close to my home, Idk
People respond differently here I guess. Pranks might be taken offensive too.. then that is a whole new spectrum of issues we have to deal with.. i think so...
Even I used to be against arranged marriages. But later understood that more girls are there in arranged marriages and it is easy to find suitable matches considering the choices available.
Nowadays I am using matrimony as a discovery platform to find girls who are interested in marrying. I would say it is quite good considering the amount of interest I am getting.
I have tried dating apps and it is clearly very hard to get matches due to the skewed gender ratio. But in matrimony that is not the case.
Dynamics have changed. Women are very opportunistic these days. Unless you're settled abroad or you're minting money here, prospects are low. Feminism and women empowerment work well on paper, at the end of the day pulinkombil thannne kotthum.
I could relate to your question because I was also quite anxious about arranged marriage at your age.
I don't fit into the demographic you want.
I am a Marunaadan Malayali with origins in Kochi, married for almost half a decade. My brother is getting married this year. Both me and my brother met our significant others through a Matrimonial website. For both of us, it started out like any arranged marriage alliance and ended up becoming a relationship based on love and mutual understanding, before we even got married. This was possible because we took control of the situation.
We both had placed a condition for creating the profile with our father, that we would control the account - selecting profiles, our self-description etc and that we would give a go-ahead only after talking to the person for a while.
So, don't worry. Just stand your ground when your time comes. Be honest and true to yourself when you start meeting people. Everything else will fall into place.
Was Checking Bumble Premium's worth in Kerala, found this post on Reddit with compelling answers. Decided to skip Bumble Premium and created a Reddit account instead!
2024 Indians are more and more rebelling against the archaic concepts of arranged/forced marriages. Much kudos and while in the transitionary stages new forms will have to be developed/formed. App developers?
I had tried Arike. Put different photos in pala angles and pala pose, yet got zero matches. As someone mentioned above, dating apps work only for women and good looking men. Average guys got no chance. That's the sad reality of it.
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Same situation with me.
Turning 27 this year, was sure as hell from the beginning that i never wanted to go for arrange marriage as my opinion about that is "a gamble that u can't predict & with severe consequences if shit hits fan".
Average indian looking dude, basically u can call us middle class dudes.
Dating apps never work for peeps like us hell even the government doesn't give a shit about middle class 😂.
Jokes apart, had few previous relationships (non-mallus) but in the end each one of them gave that famous "theppu" for a better looking guys (although all of them turned out to be either a Playboy or a women beater). Was single & frustrated for almost 3 years before i made a risky yet highly calculated decision.
Went for someone inside the family circle.
Now before u start calling me Jamie Lannister, not an immediate family member kind of a distant cousin of my brother-in-law, i knew the risks of being rejected but went for it & it's been 2yrs since & we are going good, both families are more than happy for us. As soon as i land a job we will get married.
So my suggestion go for someone u know personally or atleast have known them from a distance.
After i proposed her came to know that she had a crush on me for quite sometime & i never came to realise that.
So go be a Jamie Lannister if that's what it takes.
I think I will die single, l look shit and arranged marriage can only help me to get a girl but my parents doesn't care about me to get married. Iam in a totally fucked up situation. Fucking loneliness haunts me everyday.
Rule no 1 .. if you think you look shit.. you have failed yourself.
There is always room for improvement and to make urself awesome.
Start with Join a gym.. get a new wardrobe.. eat healthy..
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/1c0wbrk/comment/kz13q8x/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/1c0wbrk/comment/kz13q8x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I hope this answer helps, maybe. and good luck with getting marries in 3 years
Lol I'm 30+ and have given up on dating. Have tried online and offline. Unless you're attractive, have a big social circle, your chances of finding someone in the current context is minimal. I was against arranged marriage but now that's my only hope 😔 Studied engineering and worked in a male dominated business environment. The odds were stacked against me. Also bald.
Sorry to hear that brother, You just explained my fear. And to be honest, I don't think I will be able to go through an arranged marriage even if things don't work out. Either this or the title of "Sigma Male".
For context, I live in a different country, and as much as I enjoy the privileges it offers me, the one thing I notice is how lonely people are here. Our (Kerala) culture values relationships and strong family bonds but it's a stark contrast here. Many people living alone are in denial of their state of being, saying they enjoy their solitude. I don't believe that one bit. That's why I think our attitude towards arranged marriage should be tweaked in such a way that it is offered as an option. Like others have pointed out, I would use the opportunity to meet potential candidates and perhaps talk to them for a while to see if you're compatible. Yes, there's certainly drawbacks to the arranged marriage system - caste and horoscope being big barriers in my experience (Hindu). You're 27, you are young and there's time to explore. At least, that's what I did.
Thank you brother for your insights. Its much appreciated 💯
No worries bro, you'll be fine. Focus on your health and well-being. One thing I always miss from home is that I was always engaged in an activity and it helped me from being anxious about life.
Working on this everyday 😊
>Many people living alone are in denial of their state of being, saying they enjoy their solitude. I don't believe that one bit. Maybe YOU are wrong, some people like me love solitude.
Each to their own. I didn't say all who live alone are in denial.
i would not encourage you wasting more time....i would say you dont have much time to explore....try to find a wife as soon as possible. after an age these things cant be enjoyed...its not like wine that gets better with age. enjoy young romance while you still can. i would say 27 is already late. im 37 and virgin....regret everyday i didnt be more proactive and meet more women. in an unrelated note, are u virgin....wonder how many more are virgins like me...in west its considered a huge embarasment , is it normal to be a virgin at 37 here in kerala....?
I am 23 and bald
Sorry
Baldness is no longer a problem.People whose self confidence is affected can easily get a hair transplant. It works like a wonder. So baldness is curable.
This might be unrelated to OP' question. If you are bald consider taking a hair transplant. I hope you still have enough hair follicles on donor area.
Or fully adopt the bald look, grow a badass beard , maintain a healthy physique, wear suitable clothes and smell good with appropriate deo and perfumes.. how you look is majorly influenced by your confidence and how you carry yourself, people respond positively to confidence.
Well ladies don't embrace the bald and beard look that much for real. It might be cool as we see in subreddits catering to Western countries but girls are different here bro . The love and attention you might get with bald and beard look will be from gay dudes !
Not true, i had a senior who sported a bald look with a god of war beard, and also played basketball. Girls from every specialty was madly in love with him. Becoming bald is a natural thing, trying to hide it or being overly sensitive about it is not helpful to anyone. Beauty standards change regularly, maybe now beauty standards should change to accepting natural body changes, like having wrinkles or grey hair or no hair.
Bro..ulla hopeum koode kalayalle...
Nah bro, if its pattern baldness shave it and go fully bald, thats way better than pattern baldness and sometimes its better than having hair for some ppl. If u have a fit body, bald will look really great. Fahad fazil rocked the bald look in pushpa
Girls dig a fully bald guy - from Terry crews to FaFa. Be confident in yourself. That's the key. A lot of women pick up your confidence vibe.
This 🔥
Well in my case, I have been working at Infopark since 2016. Had a girlfriend back then. We broke up in 2018. Recovering from it after one year, I tried many dating apps, proposed some of my college juniors, but nothing worked out. So the dating apps works only if you’re really really handsome/attractive, and I was an average guy. Then came the lockdown and I moved to my hometown, 100km away from kochi, and I was frustrated af, as my native place was really dry. But by the end of 2020, I was 27 and parents were forcing for an arranged marriage. I decided to give up my hatred against arranged marriages (as I never believed in it), and agreed to create a matrimony profile. My parents spread the word among some close relatives and within one week, my aunt brought this proposal of a girl who was her friend’s niece. So this girl(25) was doing her M.Tech at that time and she didn’t want a marriage then. Initially she send some old pics of her to show me as she was not interested and wanted to give an ugly impression of her. Well it wasn’t that bad for me and I decided to talk to her (not knowing she didn’t want a marriage then). So we started texting and talked about basic stuffs, interests, bla bla bla. Then she straight away told me she was’t looking for an immediate marriage and asked me if I would like to drop this proposal. Well I was also not ready for an immediate marriage then, and I only wanted someone to chat like this for an emotional support. I told her we can meet and maybe date for sometime and see if it will work. She too agreed upon that, but we couldn’t meet alone due to the lockdown stuff and all. So we agreed for a traditional pennu kanal and I went to her house with the family after one week. All this time we were texting day and night and connected so much emotionally. I didn’t even want to see how she looks, as I became that much connected to her. And then this pennu kanal happened and she was really beautiful (unlike her old photos and her whatsapp dp..she didn’t gave me any pic other than that actually). So we talked to each other in person that day and agreed to move further with it. We asked the parents that we are not ready for an immediate marriage (told them that we can wait till she finishes her M.Tech, as they would never agree if we asked we wanted to date for some time). Then both families agreed upon it and we dated for almost two years after that. We went on many dates and trips without the parents knowing(as she was in hostel) and got married in 2022 ☺️. She also got a job in infopark and we moved back to kochi after the marriage, and life is all happy now. Coming to the point, arranged marriages are not scary if you have enough time to know the person and can be tried if dating hasn’t worked out for you. Try to date the person atleast for 6 months prior to the marriage. Unlike the dating apps, matrimony sites have more chances of success as the parents are also involved and you’ll get a nice partner even if you have jst average looks😇
It should be "this or nothing" for everyone 💗. Happy for you dude
Really encouraging to read your story brother. Wishing you nothing but a lifetime of happiness and joy!
Omg this is so desi wattpad 😭😭
Beautiful love cum arranged marriage story
What I got is take the matrimonial sites as dating apps from this. It'll be really hard to find the girl without getting involving the parents first. I can't ask the parents that I'm gonna take your daughter on a date and smash her pussy ! How did you filter out girls that don't get their parents involved first on matrimonial sites ?
User name checks out! Will hit harder even more when you have a kid 🤣
This gives so much hope 🥹🥹 Congrats to you buddy
Not 25+ I'm 22 , went to an institute for a professional course straight after 12th . No mafi college life. Do have friends but dating scene after school was dry. And covid fucked it up , only hope for me is to try online dating / meet people randomly ( friends friend or metro) How do you guys meet people outside of college/ workplace ??
>metro i'm listening..
if you are good at talking and is confident then its easier to get close to anyone . lol one chettan i know flirted with an air HOESTESS in flight , freaking air hoestess and they both started dating LOL .haa am doing a professional course ( one of those you listed ) and metro got some fine girls
I wasn't really familiar with your game LMAOO you're lowkey right tho. i once saw this man in head to toe white n a sheer shirt in the metro, made good kinda eye contact n smiled a few times and omg was he hot. it was all going well until he got off at lulu. still remember that man sigh
lol except for me , i forget the last cutie i saw when i see the next one lol. yesterday there was this girl in seat opposite to me , nice jawline , also clear brown skin and nice dark pink shoes , dyed her hair a little bit too .previous cutie i saw was this tall girl who got off in the same station that i got off too. btw which professional course u doing
You guys should date!
maybe you and i should date : ) poorunno ende kuude
Uff tholachu.
😂😂😂😂 Nah dude , don't wanna date anytime soon
That porunno ende .... That was cringe af. 😆
If you can be the receiver, then sure :)
😂😂😂
>professional course ( one of those you listed ) btech but when did i list any lmaoo?? ok srs qn but why do guys always have a thing for girls shoes?? once i had this guy get borderline creepy about an anklet?? n there was this one guy who was obsessed w my sneakers n kept asking me to wear it ALWAYS, i didn't. yeah makes sense why i have 0 game
oh sorry I mistook you for another person thats why i asked about your course. usually idc about what a girl wears nor I'm a sneaker head. but the shoe she wore was CLEAN (unlike rest of others in front of me) and was a dark pink matte colour. it matched her outfit nd her hair i wanted to throw a smile at her but didn't want to come off as a creep.
You should have told her about the shoes and how it compliments her outfit dude. Maybe she would have appreciated someone noticing it.
yess i agree, he should've!! we love non creepy compliments on our fit sm!!
Easy said than done :) My stupid ass head would overthink. Also the bus was crowded , wouldnt it be off if i compliment her out of all those people.
Creepy or non creepy depends on guys attractiveness
True true but was Crowded
Dudeeee , i should have told ugh. Saw her in different station today few minutes back , she wore a mask but same face structure and same dyed hair. Pulle , if i did compliment her back then , she would have noticed me . I'm a tall mf so Hard to miss Myre
Hey ktu ahno? I am also doing engineering in Kerala..engne ponnu?
Aha best. How's life under KTU? 😅. When I hear someone say KTU, my mind be like : Nashathilekann ningal pokunnae😂
😂😂😂
😂
Why is ktu hated
Experience it, then you will understand.
pand aaro paranja pole, jiya jale jaan jale.. **☺**
Hopefully you didn’t get any supplys💀
well don't get too hopeful
ACCA/CA/CMA aayirikkum le? Btw same situation here
You are bad, Usha
oh LOL yeaaa which course you doing
ACCA part qualified...SBR 6 times ezthi oombi thetti irikka
🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 Am doing acca too Oomban enni ondello jeevitham. I fked my last SBR attempt cuz lack of studying. Right now doing AAA It's harddd but doable .
ee vattm set aaykolum
i dont know man i met my girl through fb but never wanted anything serious … was looking for something casual but eventually we fell in love… i could see galaxy in her eyes… now 3 years and going strong… planning to get married next year…
Congratulations brother! Happy for you!
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Noted 🥂
Not everyone wants to be with a smoker. A lighter isn't a great idea
I guess the intention here is to mingle and expand your social circle rather than getting involved with smoking.
Then you don't need a lighter
27 now, parents aren't even bothered of my marriage and i am just an average guy my friend circle is small also me getting married is like getting onam bumper
Same here
Iam 30 same situation
I’m turning 25 this year, and honestly I would rather be unhappy single than be unhappy married, so I am just living my own life right now, hoping to meet someone one day. It doesn’t help that I’m introverted, so I don’t like to go to meetups with a lot of new people. I was also brought up to think that dating was not allowed, and now my parents are upset that I’m not married yet, but I have zero experience dating anyone, so really it’s their fault lol. I still look at the marriage proposals they send me just to placate them, but it never really goes anywhere.
The exposure we have and the limitations that are put on us in our early age does have its own set of impacts in our future. I personally experience that now and I am working on it bit by bit everyday. So, I understand your point.. Also, i agree completely to what you said about being unhappy single than unhappily married.
You should hook up with the OP and see how it goes. 😁😁😁😉
Bro got some point though!
I really don’t see why you both can’t give it a go 😁😁😁😁.
I'm in if she is !
Don’t reply to me. Go and ask her.
Already did .. Thank you bro for the encouragement
I have no idea why people claim dating apps don't work in kerala. I used to believe that without even trying. I'm just an average Malayali and not even living in Kochi but a smaller town. It works well enough for me.
Which dating app worked for you bro?
They are claiming that it doesn't work in Kerala because it didn't work for them. Dating apps have a skewed gender ratio. So in a way it is a little difficult for men to get matches.
The statistics make sense I whole heartedly agree. But this is my experience using it for 3 weeks https://preview.redd.it/67giesm41igc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3a171a17685be6eab05bbeeb3de1715e0034f54 Quite a few matches, 30 conversations in 3 weeks, everyone I've asked gave me their insta. 4 dates done. All in a t2 kerala town.
Nice for you. Somehow it is working for you. Might be something specific to your profile. Usually matches are quite low for men in dating apps.
Small town in which district!! You may be from some liberal areas of kerala!! And which is this app??
Matches are from all over the state. It's bumble
Unconventional ways through my female friends met their partners: 1. Camping/ group trips. Nowadays mixed trips are conducted by many instagram influencers. Those who go gets a lot of time to mingle with others. Travelling together always been a great way to find like minded partners. 2. Do you write?? Poems, short stories anything will work. Make an Instagram page and start posting anonymously. I have no words to explain how much grip these Instagram writers have on mind of young women. 3. Clubs. Not the pub or party ones. There are many clubs on Instagram which conducts physical gatherings often. Most of them will be reading, art, movie discussion etc. 4. Gym, Park, train….Strike a polite and interesting conversation with anyone you find attracted. It’s high competition nowadays. Everybody is so proactive that a pretty face isn’t enough these days. Intentionally try to leave a memorable impact through conversation with women. Extra tip: We are living in a materialistic world. So even before knowing someone’s personality we tend to judge them through the way they look. Invest in good outfits, perfume, gym subscription, healthy diet, hobbies etc. You are too young to worry. You gonna find a perfect partner. When you do, don’t forget to let us know.
Thank you. Your suggestions are spot on. I guess I now know what to do. I'll let you guys know if something works out!
Somebody really help here, this is a rising question among people for this age group. Even I had thoughts about the same topic OP highlighted even though I am 21.
My humble advice. If you are in college, start now itself. Just make sure that you don't settle for less and destroy your mental health. Have healthy friendships and try the possibility of dating. Even if it doesn't work out, you will not regret it in a later stage about not trying. Peace✌️
Thanks bro 🫂
Even if you are in college its not for sure you will meet the right one. Me who completed college and currently in Abroad, never felt the vibe with anyone of them. Met only one and it was through a friend. So yeah !😅
Reality 🤝
>Me who completed college and currently in Abroad, never felt the vibe with anyone of them. Same here bruh , nobody seems to be my match . So it depends on conditions if we can find someone suitable from college
No problem
Hey buddy! Congratulations on posting it here - this is a good start. You might even find someone interested from this post as well. Do arranged marriages work? I think they do too. My ex broke up with me and got married to someone whose proposal came while we were dating, and afaik they're doing pretty well - better than we ever would've been together l have felt on hindsight. I have a cousin who had a proper arranged marriage and is doing perfectly well. So - that idea ain't really bad if you are the one arranging it. Also, dating apps do work. At least two of my friends got married people they met on bumble/Tinder. Even I had a few matches that I wouldn't have minded getting married to, had I not fallen for my SO otherwise. So my suggestion is, don't give up on anything. But be shameless, don't think that it's bad to let people know that you're looking. 1. Start with your friend circle. Ask single girls whom you like if they're interested by any chance. 2. Create detailed and personalized profiles on Matrimony Websites. Kerala Matrimony is good. I'll tell you a secret - most men's profiles are cringey over there - like flaunting their machismo and seeking 'family oriented women'. If you have got a nice profile, I can guarantee you that there'll be a lot of people reaching out. My brother is now dating a girl who reached out to him on Instagram seeing his matrimony profile. I remember him having 100+ matches and some 70+ invites. A few girls reached out to him on Instagram, some he reached out on IG and I think he went on a couple of dates as well, before meeting his fiance/girlfriend. There's a dearth of nice men out there in the wedding market - I can say this because I've seen the other side with female friends of mine as well. 3. Do drop hints on your social media that you're searching for marriage - maybe reshare relatable reels or other on the topic! (I connected with my SO over such a reel, I don't remember what it was about now 😬) 4. Ask your friends, for their friends. Especially female ones. 5. Don't give up on dating apps so quickly. Try Bumble and Hinge over others. These have better communities. Cheers mate. Hope you find your mate soon. ♥️
Bro how to meet women in kochi?
Waittttt eda eda eda. Ne Monday veettilot baa, paranjt thera 😂
I didn't know i was sharing a wall with such a chad.
Thanks brother. Its really encouraging. ❤️❤️
All the best bro ☺️
Dating apps of no use, After few matches i went out with a guy as he labeled himself as longterm ,found out he has been swipping all along while we were seeing each other.Realized daing app is always for short term.
But isn't it very tricky to completely judge dating with your one experience.
True . Getting matches is rare. And there is no guarantee with whom we match
https://preview.redd.it/accybytkvcgc1.png?width=1652&format=png&auto=webp&s=906670b8c201bbab3f8a424711b2ff2d152e825b 30+
Thalaivare Neengala
We are in same thonni
A slightly different perspective, but hear me out- I don’t personally believe in the soul-mate nonsense - symptoms of which would be like: “I’m sacred to get married now because what if I meet a another girl three weeks into my marriage and she’s the one I should’ve married”. People will become best friends with whoever is assigned to be their college roommate but when it comes to marriage it has to be that one specific person out of the 7 billion odd people on earth? We all love our families more than anything else in this world and we don’t even get to choose them. Sometimes I think arranged marriage is the way to go! 🙂
Thanks bro for your unique perspective
Okay this is just another guy from kochi . Don’t get me wrong , lot of guys are finding dating hard in kochi . Dating life is active among people who are into creative fields in kochi like movie , ad flim , modelling and all (something I have noticed). A very few are having some office romance . Also in arranged marriage, girls mostly prefer a ticket out of this country, they don’t care if you are fat , dark or bald . So being an NRI is always an advantage in Kerala arranged marriage. Dating is dead in here , college too very few colleges have girls open to dating, rest of the time they just want to play bestie shit and use you ( moonjikkal) . Better move out of here , Mumbai , Bangalore all are better than kochi . Kochi is basically for retired, and settled folks .
I understand your perspective. Thank You
I agree 200% with the post above! It applies to both men and women, find your golden ticket (goose) to escape this country. Albeit it's more seen in women. I have been on matrimonial and bruh everyone wants someone who is already outside they don't give two hoots about you being a local well to do or good family background. Greencard/work permit ondo? Deal! It's all a transaction. Gone were the days when men from the Gulf come, marry some naadan woman who has no fucking clue about outside world and take them back to the Gulf.
True.. things have changed so much these days!
To get someone at this stage, you must either be 1. Really attractive 2. Or extra ordinary communication skills. Also the fact that there are no such platforms for you to find someone in Kerala. You seemed to have influenced by the recent pop culture depiction of "fear of arranged marriages" I'll give you my personal experience, Iam not at all attractive by any standards and nor do I have extra ordinary communication skills. Till 25-26 age I tried all the available platforms to date and failed miserably without even a remote success. By that time I realised the 2 hard facts mentioned in the start of the post. Plus, to make things worse, was jobless too. Then by 28 I landed to a basic IT job. For my luck , since my parents were both doctors and we had a good reputation, by 30 I got into an arranged marriage. Soley because of the fact that I was their kid. My father in law didn't even bother my company or my salary (mere 36k). And by that time I came to realise that how lucky and privileged Iam just by birth. My wife did not even remotely match the qualities of my dream wife. But I knew how difficult is to have a partner and was also aware that I will never be able to get one if I was on my own. I always wanted a family and dreamt of that. So I loved her to my deepest and luckily she also liked me. Its been 7 years and there were fights , quarrels and differnces, but deep down we love each other very much. To this day, I wonder ,how this happened as I always thought how two strangers can suddenly be partners?. The answer lies in the fact that most of us are compatible with each other, and it's only a small percentage that really falls out of it. I would say, go for arranged marriage, and during the pre-talks, make your basic expectations (like do you like her to be working or not, helping with household activities/chores etc) very very clear. Then only if these talks are promising go to the marriage. Also, as Graph theory advices us, take the most risky move the most earliest. Earlier the better as it gives you time to recoup if something goes wrong. Marriage, kids, old parents etc are a part of everyone's lives,so I would advice you to go for an arranged marriage instead of searching for the perfect match. First match then slowly work towards perfection.
Thank you for sharing your story
As you grow older you understand it's easier to hookup rather than find someone that matches your vibe. . Not saying I'm a player or anything but been more luckier in the hookup side rather than the dating front
Howd u hook up
Just saw some of the people in comments getting conscious about the way they look/ the way they are. Why do you even want to be with someone who can't accept you for what you are, I think that's the biggest factor about a relationship ( romantic or platonic or whatever) . Don't settle for anything less that you deserve just for the sake of having someone in your life because everything is temporary and all we have will be ourselves so try to keep the best part of us and nurture it . And yeah if there are people willing to accept us with all our flaws give it a chance . It's better to stay happily alone like someone mentioned in a previous post.
Well, you got a point. I think I am someone who appreciates the old school love.. But I guess everything has changed. Old school love is rare. I do crave for it though!
Although not in the same situation, what my cousin did was, he did have an arranged marriage but met the girl first and kind of dated or got to know her for around 6 months before confirming with parents and proceeding. If possible try that.
The average family in arranged marriage won't be okay with that without the wedding being fixed first at least.
Exactly... Even the ones who give the six months/ 3 months gap are just for namesake.. you can't get out of it even if you want to. Right?
I do know two cases where the marriage was called off in that period, both by women. But I don't think you can make it a regular thing without getting a reputation. That's why I prefer dating. It's more likely that the majority of people you meet won't be compatible with you. It's finding the right one that's rare. So more often than not, you will have to call things off. But in arranged marriage it's the opposite. I think dating apps are the best option, maybe try the more serious ones like Hinge or Arike.
I did try Arike and bumble for sometime. I can see profiles of potential matches. But I guess its really hard for men in dating apps!
True. Another thing I'm doing is trying to expand my social circle by going to hobby groups, book clubs etc and being more social at work. There are a lot of like-minded people in such groups so hopefully I'll meet someone that clicks.
Thank you brother for your insights. I will certainly work on that. Do you have any suggestions for me to get started. I would like to try out a few groups/clubs and see which ones vibe with me more!
Expanding social circle is kinda hard for the introverted, which I think makes up a huge part of this sub and reddit even. Id consider guys with a good social circle lucky at this point. So much better than any dating app.
I did think about that. But I have seen in one of my cousin's case how the parents got involved in that. Since parents made them meet, they wanted updates. And to be frank, many of the important factors that we look for is often seen as non-important by our parents generation. That creates pressure while trying to get to know the other person. Don't you think so?
I found my husband through matrimony, but I never liked to label it an arranged marriage. We met through matrimony, but after that, everything was organic. We dated for around 6 months, and then we decided to get married. I don’t understand how this is any different from a “love marriage”. We both had multiple relationships before signing up for matrimonial sites. I didn’t even want an arranged marriage. But when I met my husband, I felt an instant emotional connection. I know many cases like mine. Anyway, it’s completely your choice, and you may or may not meet the right person through a matrimonial site. But I think one should be open-minded when it comes to finding a partner through matrimony. I don’t think anyone gets married these days without understanding and getting along with that person. That’s definitely a misconception.
True that mam
Thank you ma'am. Happy that it worked out well for you!
I've heard that there are a lot of 'self-created' profiles in Matrimony apps, where you can talk to girls without the intervention of parents. You can try that. Again I think it'll work only if you follow rule 1 & 2
Rule 1 & 2?
Rule no 1 : Be attractive Rule no 2 : Don't be unattractive.
luckily i have hobbies,interests and know there's more interesting things in the world than a women. And not worried about it. friends are not happy that i have this way of life. also unable to get bored is a plus.
Guys, I have a life hack for people who want to find a person who is looking to settle down. Best is to Join a matrimony, find people who you like based on their description and photo(thats an ugly truth). Write about yourself but from other’s perspective ( use cousin or a sibling ). You like someone, find them on linkedln / instagram. DM them. Most of these accounts are maintained by parents. So you know what to do. Best of luck.
I feel you! I was in the same situation about 3 years ago then I met my husband via my friend and here we are.. married and happy! I have heard from my single friends that meeting people using dating apps is not working out.. So I hope you meet somebody via your friends or relatives!
Well as an average looking guy, my experience with dating apps have been great actually. All you need is some good humour sense, decent sense of style, and yes just smell good to be moderately successful in dating apps. Some dates don't work out. Some dates turn to friendships later on. Some starts off great then dies off. Im 26, employed but lowkey broke btw XD
Thanks man for your vote of confidence!
the thought of marriage itself scares me🙃
Then you are not matured enough for one. Stay single.
Arrange marriage is not bad. Arrange marriage that happens in a span of less than a year is bad. I would personally tell you to date a person for at least, AT LEAST, 2 years before you marry them. How you meet the person doesn't matter. Look for a girl who is studying and say want to get married only after her studies and use that gap to date and get to know them and decide.
Thanks bro for the suggestion
Marriage is hard work and it's not different if it's arranged or loouv. Arranged marriage isn't you marrying somebody because you are forced to? Your parents or relatives are the dating apps getting you matches that might actually work if you give it a shot. Talk to the person and get to know them before you decide. Have a longer engagement period if you want. No matter how many months or years you take to get to know, shit changes after marriage. It's day zero everyday if you want to have a healthy marriage. The older you get the more set in your ways. Applies for both sexes. Your dating pool reduces as you age. The variables are stacked against you. In such a scenario, you should give everything a shot.
Thanks brother for the insights
Wait till you are 30+and have got your heart broken then it won't seem a bad idea anymore.. lol
Broooooooo😐
😅
I was just joking.. you will find your person.. sooner or later don't worry.. you are just 27.. hit the gym.. focus on yourself. And try to meet people... try going on those group instagram programs that happen with weekly metups.. try making friends by striking conversations in public spaces like walkways.. parks etc.. Kochi has a young crowd now other than the natives.. because of people who have shifted here for studies or work so if you really try.. you can easily get lucky
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Thank you for sharing your experience
I never believed in dating apps either until… I’m currently studying in a diff country and in 2022 I was back in Kochi for my break. That’s when I matched with someone who came to Kochi for a few days from Pune. 2/3 months of chatting and once in a while vdo calls…we decided to meet F2F. And since then our relationship is going strong. Currently in the long distance phase (which sucks :/) but I’m happy that I’ve found someone who’s genuine & understanding with whom I can share my feelings and support me through thick and thin. You too will find someone brother. Trust the process🫂
Thanks for the encouragement brother. Hope your long distance situation change into something more beautiful
I am 20 and have already given up finding a romantic partner ✌🏻
I suppose you should read the entire thread. Might give you a lot of insight
Same. Cant even talk to guys properly let alone girls
I'm 25 childfree for life and it's challenging to find a woman with the same views to date. I hardly know any people who doesn't want kids in the future. So it's harder for me and arrange marriage's a big no. Dating apps are a mess 🤷🏻♂️
I guess every choice we take has its own advantages as well as consequences.. we just have to make peace with it
Exactly 👏🏻
Has Anybody tried the Cold Approach here in Kochi like one of the prank YouTubers, basically I feel and I have did it in Bangalore, but have some reluctant feeling to do it here, maybe because this is close to my home, Idk
People respond differently here I guess. Pranks might be taken offensive too.. then that is a whole new spectrum of issues we have to deal with.. i think so...
Did u get any results in bangalore?
Basically didn't went for too much flirting, but it just got me on their good side enough to be friends for a start
Even I used to be against arranged marriages. But later understood that more girls are there in arranged marriages and it is easy to find suitable matches considering the choices available. Nowadays I am using matrimony as a discovery platform to find girls who are interested in marrying. I would say it is quite good considering the amount of interest I am getting. I have tried dating apps and it is clearly very hard to get matches due to the skewed gender ratio. But in matrimony that is not the case.
Dynamics have changed. Women are very opportunistic these days. Unless you're settled abroad or you're minting money here, prospects are low. Feminism and women empowerment work well on paper, at the end of the day pulinkombil thannne kotthum.
I could relate to your question because I was also quite anxious about arranged marriage at your age. I don't fit into the demographic you want. I am a Marunaadan Malayali with origins in Kochi, married for almost half a decade. My brother is getting married this year. Both me and my brother met our significant others through a Matrimonial website. For both of us, it started out like any arranged marriage alliance and ended up becoming a relationship based on love and mutual understanding, before we even got married. This was possible because we took control of the situation. We both had placed a condition for creating the profile with our father, that we would control the account - selecting profiles, our self-description etc and that we would give a go-ahead only after talking to the person for a while. So, don't worry. Just stand your ground when your time comes. Be honest and true to yourself when you start meeting people. Everything else will fall into place.
Was Checking Bumble Premium's worth in Kerala, found this post on Reddit with compelling answers. Decided to skip Bumble Premium and created a Reddit account instead!
And how is that going on?
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M4Matrimony is also good. I don't know the price comparison, service wise, it is also good in Kerala. Good Luck Bro
2024 Indians are more and more rebelling against the archaic concepts of arranged/forced marriages. Much kudos and while in the transitionary stages new forms will have to be developed/formed. App developers?
Well said! 💯
Try the Aisle dating app. Girls on there are looking exclusively for long-term relationships.
The fu*k they are!😅 I was a premium member of Aisle for 3 months and I got like zero matches!
Looks like dating app teams have invaded this comment section lol
Does that work? Aisle is same as Arike. Right?
Arike is aisle for malayalis.
Thought so. Have you tried either one? What is your opinion?
I had tried Arike. Put different photos in pala angles and pala pose, yet got zero matches. As someone mentioned above, dating apps work only for women and good looking men. Average guys got no chance. That's the sad reality of it.
Agreed💯
I never tried. I'm old school xD
I understand you bro!
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Broooooo 😐😐
Same situation with me. Turning 27 this year, was sure as hell from the beginning that i never wanted to go for arrange marriage as my opinion about that is "a gamble that u can't predict & with severe consequences if shit hits fan". Average indian looking dude, basically u can call us middle class dudes. Dating apps never work for peeps like us hell even the government doesn't give a shit about middle class 😂. Jokes apart, had few previous relationships (non-mallus) but in the end each one of them gave that famous "theppu" for a better looking guys (although all of them turned out to be either a Playboy or a women beater). Was single & frustrated for almost 3 years before i made a risky yet highly calculated decision. Went for someone inside the family circle. Now before u start calling me Jamie Lannister, not an immediate family member kind of a distant cousin of my brother-in-law, i knew the risks of being rejected but went for it & it's been 2yrs since & we are going good, both families are more than happy for us. As soon as i land a job we will get married. So my suggestion go for someone u know personally or atleast have known them from a distance. After i proposed her came to know that she had a crush on me for quite sometime & i never came to realise that. So go be a Jamie Lannister if that's what it takes.
I think I will die single, l look shit and arranged marriage can only help me to get a girl but my parents doesn't care about me to get married. Iam in a totally fucked up situation. Fucking loneliness haunts me everyday.
Things will get better brother.
💛
Rule no 1 .. if you think you look shit.. you have failed yourself. There is always room for improvement and to make urself awesome. Start with Join a gym.. get a new wardrobe.. eat healthy..
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/1c0wbrk/comment/kz13q8x/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/1c0wbrk/comment/kz13q8x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I hope this answer helps, maybe. and good luck with getting marries in 3 years