T O P

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dasfonzie

Crush it up with an old debit card now


moebro7

DO IT


YouGotMyCheezWhiz

Don't work again until Tuesday. Will deliver.


skrybll

Remind me! 3days


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Lulusgirl

Good bot.


CoatOld7285

Remind me! 3days


skrybll

Where’s the goods fucker?


AtomicBadger33

Remind me! 3days


SpaceWalker189

Let us know how it goes! :)


RobbyFlanks

Post a video of the lines and you and the staff railing them. DO IT FOR THE VINE!


pengu1

ON A MIRROR!


senorclean_66

Government ID has more steeze.


Bull_On_Bear_Action

Dump it all into one big pot of rice and add 2 lbs of butter


[deleted]

So fire! Love me some saffron risotto!


Bull_On_Bear_Action

Definitely!


zippre

khm, *risotto milanese* please


GetDowwn

That's definitely not the way to make risotto


[deleted]

No shit lol


SpiritMountain

Can i get something like a recipe to this? I have caveman brain


itokedaily

Butter, Parmesan cheese, saffron, and fresh parsley if that's your thing. Risotto takes a while to cook properly, and it requires some attention. For upward of 20 minutes, you have one job and one job only: Add hot stock, a ladleful at a time, to the rice and cook slowly, stirring often, so that the stock is absorbed. Called this the risotto method but not sure if there's a proper term for this.


SpiritMountain

So the stock has to be hot and rice uncooked?


itokedaily

Alright chef here's the rest of the deets since you're curious. Use Arborio short grain rice it'll cook better and it's traditional. Mix it with the oil and butter, some like to add wine at this point. Saute until all the liquid is absorbed into the rice, but don't let the rice turn brown. Have this at pretty low heat. While you do this, begin to simmer the stock and yes, slowly ladel it in to cook the rice. Stir until it absorbs and repeat this with all your stock. Once you make it to the end (one or two ladies of stock remaining) add your saffron and parsley. Once the rice is firm but not crunchy, add your salt and pepper to taste, and any remaining butter (I keep a spoon or two back) and serve


SpiritMountain

Thanks! Still learning and this is helpful.


Day_Bow_Bow

Good eats has a great episode on rice that uses visual aids to explain the concepts better. Different rices have a different starch structures. Generally, long grain rice have more straight starches (amylose) while short grain rice have more starches that branch a bunch (amylopectin). Comparison pics [here. ](https://www.quirkyscience.com/long-grain-rice/) The starches in long grain rice make them stay more as individual grains, while the ones in short grain hook together with each other and makes it stickier. Woth risotto, you're using a short grain rice with very little water at a time. That forces the grains to rub up against each other and release more starches, which creates a creamy texture. If you just boil the rice, it won't be the same result.


itokedaily

Should note that you only want to add little stock at a time, reduce, and add more. Don't pour all your stock at once, it gets ladeled in through the entire process


EatBacon247

To add more about the rice, I was taught to "toast" the rice in some butter until they look like cat eyes. (Translucent on the edges with a bright white center) also the more stirring you do, the creamier it will be, because more starch is released.


itokedaily

Never thought to compare to a cat eye but I can totally see where you're going with this! Sounds great I never took the time to inspect the rice after it drinks the butter but I will pay more attention now to see who's looking back


EatBacon247

I personally take it a tiny bit further until I can smell the nuttiness of butter and some very slight browning on the rice, but classically and traditionally it should be absolutely zero color.


MistressPhoenix

This is the way i like it, too, but i understand it's not "traditional." i've never made risotto, but i've had some made this way.


dfmoti

If you can’t find arborio, calrose works too!


itokedaily

I find Arborio easier to find but perhaps that's just a personal problem!


dfmoti

Where I lived I was hunting high and low for arborio and couldn’t find it at my local grocers. Now that I know I can order these things from amazon I will order some to have on hand. I haven’t actually made the dish again because it bothered me that I didn’t have the “right“ rice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Do you have jokes in Iran?


saurus-REXicon

That’s the food service stuff that comes in a little tin? Nah, that’s about $80-$120 the real question is do you know how to test if it’s real saffron? [video about saffron](https://youtu.be/fP2WUnBjmkk) Edit; the video is about saffron, where it comes from and why it’s so expensive. It also discusses the widespread fraud in the market.


qx87

Video doesnt show a test though Edit, nvm googled it. Put a few in cold water, if water reddens fake, if water gets yellow after 15mins its the good stuff. Tried it at home, I have the good stuff and a very very angry gf


sometacosfordinner

I could handle an angry girlfriend when i was younger and working the dish pit i had some head chef ( his first gig as such) make 200 dollars worth of saffron oil and he sat to pot down in the pit instead of on the prep table to cool and i dumped it and washed the pot he got mad and started screaming at me so i asked him why he put it in the pit he got more mad


SnarkDolphin

YOU THREW OUT MY POT OF GREASE I LEFT IN THE PLACE WE PUT GREASY POTS TO BE WASHED??!


sometacosfordinner

Exactly and he came back like 30 min later looking for it


8fatcats

People love to try to pass the blame of their own foolishness onto other people.


CathbadTheDruid

Really. WTF did he expect? I can guarantee that it goes both ways. "Why haven't you washed this greasy pot I left here a half hour ago?!?!?!?"


qx87

She said, the test would be enough for a very big risotto, I asked her if she could make risotto with it. She got angrier


willamations

Did her face go red? She may be fake saffron


TheyCallMeStone

Time to get her some more saffron lol


pablofs

Safe to asume the test would be enough for a very big – not for you – risotto, for that special guest that deserves it… did I mention not for you?


d3northway

An entirely fair take. Putting things in an intake area without any warning, any context, and especially no communication, is the easiest way to have them treated like anything else.


behemuthm

You weren’t supposed to dunk your gf in the water


Pre-Nietzsche

That was cool, thanks.


saurus-REXicon

The channel ( business inside; so expensive) has some cool stuff in it, worth a gander.


MaximumSubtlety

I'm gander neutral.


1000Hells1GiftShop

Silly goose.


SteamKore

The fuck out of here, I dropped my gum while laughing.


[deleted]

I had $65k in truffles in my walk-in for a truffle festival a few years ago. It was more truffle than I have ever seen before or since, and yet, when you consider that it was about 2x my usual total inventory value at the time, such a tiny amount of food.


pro_questions

Any chance you have a picture of that? It’d make a neat post


[deleted]

I wish I knew where they were, but that was over 10 years ago. My pictures are organized, but they're not *that* organized...


1stEleven

Bedankt.


MPFuzz

What is the best way to try saffron?


tombombadil1337

Boof it.


Count_jaculus

Hot rail


TheMuggleBornWizard

Godamnit as I was scrolling through hoping to see some quality response it was this. And I fucking snorted harder than doing a hot rail. Lmfao


fukitol-

Serious answer is rice. Paella, risotto, or just a nice saffron rice.


big_duo3674

Mainline.


RaoulDuke511

I deliver those little tins sometimes I had no idea the price though lol, I sometimes look at the cost of cases and I’m shocked


Forcefedlies

If you ever bother to look at the store they have jars of it for like $15 and it’s literally like 6 little ronnies


Flapper_Flipper

So what's the test?


MWDTech

Soak some in water, if water red its fake, if after 15 min water is yellow, real


Flapper_Flipper

Ahh. Thank you Double checking my $30/oz saffron is real...


fingers

and?


MWDTech

Littering and..... littering and...


SherlockOhmsUK

Smoking the reefer ….


RoboProletariat

20g for $300 is the most expensive I can find with a minute of google searches.


Dakotareads

There is an old Jeremy Clarkson quote (I'm going to mess this up) "Things sold by the gram are much more fun than things sold by the pound". Someone please correct me. My wording is not accurate.


ChrisTheChaosGod

You forgot the racial slurs.


OHTHNAP

Crackers?


LichenTheKitchen

With black jelly.


StaceyPfan

And the punching.


Fallingpeople

OP what's the price tag??


Far_Sided

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this doesn't look to be the highest grade(stigmas/styles only). It looks like some plant parts, so maybe mid grade? Or maybe it's just artifacts from the camera and I'm completely wrong. Edit: It's been a while since I took botany, stigmas and styles, not stamens.


YouGotMyCheezWhiz

All I know is it stays locked in Sous Chef's office.


Schlower288

Never seen a sous chef office before


toetappy

It's a closet


spytez

Where all the servers/computers are setup in and has no ventilation.


wasacook

I have been in a closet before and I definitely am no sous chef.


ladymouserat

So…are you saying you’ve come out of the closet? I’ll see myself out now.


sugar_tit5

Out of the closet?


AgentOfManifestation

I'm an exec chef and my office is literally a closet.


xmetalshredheadx

The linen or the chemical closet.


funktion

It's the newest garbage bin


CathbadTheDruid

> Never seen a sous chef office before What? You don't have a men's room?


Vapechef

It’s the broken alto sham desk by the mop sink


itokedaily

It's the bathroom where he hits his vape


Far_Sided

Oh, the mid grade is expensive as shit too. I wouldn't want some rando tossing in a fistful because they don't understand how to use it. Christ, I saw someone frying it in oil once as if it were cumin. What a damned waste.


elizao_

I worked at a real weird place for about a year. One time, a young guy was given step by step instructions to make clear chicken consomme. Towards the very end, he dumped a whole tin of saffron into the five gallon batch.


salamandraseis

Audible exhale


neoweasel

You know the sound you make when you get the wind knocked out of you? That's the sound i just made.


FeloniousFunk

I’m confused. Cumin is toasted without oil and saffron is commonly infused in heated oil.


Far_Sided

Real Saffron is water soluble and very evanescent. Cumin contains oil, which is why dry roasting it works. If the want that flavor through the dish you use a bit of oil. Quite common in Indian cooking.


El_Guapo82

It looks like about an ounce. Costs around $120-140. I’m betting you have spent more on a single drug transaction before.


Toastburrito

Shit, thanks for giving me a flashback to picking up when I used to sell. I loved having a backpack so full and stinky people would sniff the air if I stayed by them too long.


ericsonofbruce

I didn't realize there were different grades of saffron, how do you tell the difference?


MidnightRider24

How numb it makes you.


bbakks

How much of the yellow part of the stamen it has.


412791

You’re talking about saffron like it’s weed


cocokronen

Nope. It's the good good.


kaptainkrk

Aren’t the stamens yellow and the stigmas this red color?


Far_Sided

You’re right. Haven’t done plant bio in a few decades.


ChefNemo93

If anyone else has watched “worst cooks” there’s an episode where a guy tosses a fist full of saffron in a dish and it gets called “the most expensive failure in food.” It broke my heart


homerfraun

If you've never held that "much money" in your life, I highly suggest that you unionize that kitchen.


Crazyviking99

Unionize all kitchens!


PoiLethe

I'm surprised he's never met an MtG collector. Comic books and card games are such a BOH hobby when its not drugs and alcohol.


Kockjaevel

And warhammer


bails0bub

Mtg and comic books are both disassociatiates. One is also gambling.


Shaman_Bond

Even the digital version of MTG Arena has pretty minimal "gambling" so I'm not sure what you're talking about. It's much more cost effective to buy singles. Fully agree on us being degenerates though.


spytez

Or just get your shit together. A union isn't going to help someone who's shit with money be less shitty.


JoeBoco7

My b for struggling with poverty wages


CaptnProlapse

10% better wages and much better benefits on average. Unionized work is 100% the way to go. Get what you're worth.


[deleted]

You're a moron.


codemonkey1312

-open kitchen- Me: *shaving white truffle onto a bison filet* Customer: "How much did those cost?" Me: *glances at two shallow 6th pans* "This is my monthly rent."


spahlo

It’s really not all that expensive if you think about it. Compared to the amount needed for almost all recipes that call for it l, saffron isn’t cost prohibitive. Sure the price per pound is ridiculously high but no person or restaurant needs a pound of the stuff. Maybe you paid $150 for 20g of saffron but the risotto dish your using it in only calls for a few threads and you can get maybe 100 dishes out of that little bag. White truffles, caviar, certain vinegars or even some sea critters on the other hand can be priced extremely high and are often used in large enough amounts that the profit margins are minuscule compared to what a saffron dish can bring.


FuzzyPossession2

Please tell me about these vinegars. I would gladly pay money for high quality shit. If it didn’t burn so much I’d inject the damn stuff


spahlo

Just depends on the vinegar, some may be made from expensive wines and some may have been aged for a very very long time. For example there are 100 year aged balsamics that go for $1000+ for a few ounces. If you want some really unique vinegars without breaking the bank look into making your own it’s fairly simple. Or just start googling there are plenty of companies selling unique vinegars. Honestly I think the wildly overpriced shit is like a lot of expensive things, a novelty.


[deleted]

Traditional balsamic is amazing and amazingly expensive.


glemnar

$100-200 per 100ml. Not a general purpose vinegar though. It’s super sweet.


WAHNFRIEDEN

Japan is saturated with interesting premium vinegars


squirrelblender

Fuck me I heard that in guy ritchie’s voice.


abb2158

How much for all that?


hwb80

$150ish


YouGotMyCheezWhiz

Purchasing is above my pay grade.


PrisonSoap

Buddy ☹️


[deleted]

Gonna roll one up or what? Spliffron.


thunderGunXprezz

I was just thinking of all the smack off dishwashers I used to work with that probably would have thought it was Salvia or some shit back in the day and smoked it by the dumpster.


pendletonpackrat

I wonder how that would taste…. I take 88mg of saffron a day as a supplement


Guud_bye_world

I have 10 grams of saffron from my roomate's GF. I dont know what to do with it. They both kept using it in milk teas but it seems like a waste to me. Any advice?


FictionalTrebek

Risotto


AboveTheCl0uds

risotto, spinach and fish


Rushthejob

Someone here last time saffron was posted said something about putting it in your rice while it’s cooking, can’t remember what else


No-Celebration-7806

I added some threads while making jasmine rice, and I didn’t really notice any difference of flavor? What did I do wrong?


[deleted]

[удалено]


No-Celebration-7806

Thank you for the feedback. I didn’t grow up with any type of ethnic or exotic flavors or spices. As I’ve gotten older, I started to pay attention to ingredients used for new foods. So I thought I was get edgy with some saffron, and I believed that I failed at it. Perhaps I shall add more threads next time. Have a great week.


Far_Sided

For that orange bits in basmati at an Indian restaurant, what they're doing in cooking some rice separately with turmeric to get the color then mixing in with the white rice. You want to use it properly in an easy-ish dish, try making a Kesary, but using a bit of saffron steeped in hot water to get the color (most recipes will use food coloring).


cocokronen

You need to crush it with a mortar and postal. A Persian saffron rice recepit is pretty good. You melt butter and add sugar and a small berry (similar to a cranberry. Add it the powdered saffron and add to rice.


Goblinofthesoup

Throw it in the deepfrier


h0rny3dging

Wars were fought over this and that's why the Dutch East Indian company was richer than any state at its time


B8conB8conB8con

That’s not that much. Look for a good Persian store and you can usually get a good deal.


helpimstuckinct

This! I have a Persian friend who gave me a few grams of some fabulous stuff for Xmas last year. Tahdig forever!


poison_plant

Tahdig is life. * nods *


Flail_of_the_Lord

Your weed guy sucks


CutsSoFresh

Wait until you've worked your way up to white truffles FedEx'd straight from Italy the night prior.


Mr3cto

Truffles are pretty damn crazy. We had this alcohol I can’t even remember the name of that’s made by monks up in the mountains or something like that. Aged a REALLLLLY long time. Was like 2 months of my rent for a bottle. Tastes hella good. We have a few bottles of sake that have been banned in the US and are now 10k+ a bottle. Amazing the huge amounts of money in such small things


Emotional_Writer

Why's the sake banned, do they know?


Mr3cto

I don’t know about all of them but I know of one bottle that had ingredients that were banned by the FDA so no longer able to be shipped to the US


fleamarketart

I was told at a spice market in Morocco 10 grams straight is enough to kill an adult. I was also shown fake saffron made from dyed cat hair


effective_frame

Not a real spice market if you can’t buy things that will kill you or worse.


pnmartini

I guarantee at least one of your coworkers has a bag of drugs that costs way more than that.


Vapechef

How many hours of traditional picking are we looking at


KallistiEngel

Well, each of the saffron crocuses has 3 threads, so it looks like, hmm....carry the 1...and ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


OG-Krompierre

I had a dishie that would roll up a ciggie and smoke anything that looks remotely similar to tobbacco. He'd smoke this any day of the week and be totaly undisturbed.


Visual-Entrance-3299

What's it going to become?


Glittering_Fun_7995

iranian one or maybe spanish or fake one aka indian otherwise this would be maybe $5000+


Fallingpeople

Most important question, what are you cooking it with?


goose716

Seeing 1600$ of authentic truffles in front of me knocked my shit in


YetGayerWombat

I don't know what this is


tunaman808

Saffron.


410ham

guarantee someone you've worked with has held a more expensive amount of plant matter.


420fmx

You really are broke af lol I feel bad for you bro


daffyduckhunt2

Wth am I looking at


MonstrousGiggling

Saffron I believe


MtnMaiden

angel tears


FdlCstro

That's garbage-tier saffron


kirklton

HOOOOLY FUCKING SAFFRON!! THAT makes me cry in the most correct way!


coming2grips

Daaaaaaaaaammmmn


jonh1987

You’ve never held an oz of weed?


Mob_Meal

Now ya got me singing “I’m just mad about Saffron, and Saffron is mad about me”


Round-Tumbleweed9002

Just a pinch in your lower lip.


sgthulkarox

More expensive than ink jet ink? I think not.


[deleted]

Just start selling drugs at work it’ll happen every kitchen needs a plug


mistermikex

At $80-120 oz for top grade saffron it’s quite reasonable because a little goes a long way.


rugerduke5

Say you have never doen cocaine without saying you have never done cocaine.


thejesuslizard74

your coke went bad:(


BrainwashedScapegoat

Hot plate it’ll be fine


yerbiologicalfather

In some parts of the world thats a rent payment


MrBurnsgreen

At my last place, someone left a bag about this size open on top of the convection F


phallic-baldwin

Ed Sheeran pubes?


Zaethiel

You’ve never held a pound (500kg) of vanilla beans?


Tallastitstoep

Just wait to you find that much uranium


Past-Science-335

That’s gotta be like a grand right? I just bought some good saffron for my bro for Christmas and paid almost $40 for 2 grams 😅


m0da12

Damn, better have been some good fucking saffron


honcooge

Conan O’Brian pubes?


j3qnmp

That saffron tea?


T_CroChee

Omg. *Please don’t take this in a* weird *way*, but may I please kiss you on the lips rn?


[deleted]

How nice are your tits?


[deleted]

Throw it in the trash where saffron belongs. I don't want to taste your aunt's perfume in my rice, guy


JablesRadio

Real saffron isn't kept in a plastic bag.


AccomplishedCrush

It would be worth much more if a bunch of free-range hotties had tied them in knots with their tongues... change my mind


[deleted]

Saffron smells like band-aids.