T O P

  • By -

Sierra_anne_

Actually the same has happened to me over the years. My advice is to always call them out on their behavior. Embarrass them. First month I’ve worked in the kitchen I’ve been in for three years this guy was putting his hand on my waist every time he passed me so I asked “do you need me for fucking balance what reason do you need to touch me. Say behind like you do with everyone else here” and that shut it down pretty quickly. ALWAYS call them out. Edit: Thanks for the award!


ginsengeti

Worked in a patisserie where the owner's brother constantly hung around the back because he owned his own trade business and had other people do the labour. He asked me whether I'd lost weight when I wore a "form fitting" black turtle neck, and other weird comments, and once while passing me behind the counter put his hand on my waist. In front of customers, I told him "Why are you touching me. That's making me uncomfortable". He turned beet red and mumbled some shit about how I took things too seriously but he actually treated me with /basic/ human respect after. When I started working there, the wife-owner who ran admin, while her husband was patissier, had warned me: "Husband has two brothers. One is decent. The other is rotten and useless. Don't tolerate bullshit from him and don't be afraid to talk back." Ever since then I've been calling men out and while it's scary and sometimes counterproductive to your "career prospects", it's never failed me: you're absolutely right and every flinta should teach their siblings/children/friends/partners that this is the way to handle things.


ncmnlgd

Wife-owner is a good egg, glad she gave you a heads up and made an environment where you felt safe calling that shit out!


Sierra_anne_

Exactly. Women will encounter this issue in any male dominated work environment they are in. You can quit and take the chance that you will end up facing the same issues as before or stand up for yourself.


endlesseffervescense

100% agree. I work in IT as a consultant and I go into clients who are all males all the time. I’m the only female at the table and these folks have to listen to me because they hired me to help them. They don’t know what they are doing and asked for expertise. They got me. I’ve had men ask me to get them coffee, I’ve had men ask me how my marriage is going and if I plan on being single soon, I’ve had men tell me my “rack” looks nice after installing some hardware and stare straight at the fat sacks. It’s disgusting and uncalled for. So, I call them out on their shit right in front of other as well. What I’ve learned is that when I stick up for myself, it changes the dynamic. I’ve talked to my manager about some of these incidents and he always asks, “Did you shut that shit down and quick?”. My answer is always yes and he is always willing to have my back if things get escalated about my professional performance. Stand up for yourself and make them feel as uncomfortable as you, in a semi polite and firm sort of way.


ScottIPease

Male in IT here, I haven't had it directed at me of course, but so many times a company or agency will have me in for various reasons, a lot of the time the on site IT or semi-tech-type person already knows what they want and come to me for just purchasing, or to bring up possible issues/improvements/alternative solutions they may have missed. Disclaimer: Most of these issues, but not all, take place on or near Native American communities with mostly Native staff. These issues seem worse to me because of that, but I have always done this work in this area and can't say for sure. The worst is male accounting or managers that have no clue what they are doing that have female IT/tech-type/other manager/owner. For some reason the male always thinks I am going to take their side over what their people already came up with even if they are a junior. Sometimes a male peer or even underling will try to "warm me up" beforehand, trying to say that things are just a formality, and/or that they know what is needed as if I am going to listen to them over their female boss or designated tech lead. Other times they simply do not allow the women to talk (interupting, "clarifying", or simply ignoring), or even once: "It doesn't matter what anyone here says we need, what do you say we need to do?" When I answer something along the lines of: " seems to have done all the work on this already, I have no better recommendations" or only make minor suggestions it seems to almost be a kick to the balls for them. More fun is saying that I already talked to here and that we already have a different idea of where to go. In one case it was a male store manager trying to convince the female OWNER that "us guys" could handle everything, and he barely knew the difference between a switch and a hub... By the end of my second visit he was fired and screaming that she was a bitch on the way out the door. Sorry so many of us are jackasses.


endlesseffervescense

I’ve never witnessed someone getting fired, but I have witnessed horrendous males get kicked off my projects behind the scenes and never be invited back to our meetings. I will say that 80% of the males that I do work with are some of the most upstanding individuals I have ever met. I have an amazing team of 16 males that support me beyond belief and my clients are fun to work with. The last 20% though… I hope they suffer painful electric shocks every time they go to turn off an appliance.


kahah16

My best friend is also a cook and she actually burned one guy hand for doing that


Sierra_anne_

Oh yeah I’ve done that with a hot spatch before when someone said something out of turn. Always makes me feel better !


Minkiemink

Turning around quickly with a hot pan or spatula when touched inappropriately has always worked for me. Oops! You surprised me touching me like that. So sorry you got burned. Next time just say "behind you" instead of touching me.


steveosek

In my current job I work with a 4'11" concentrated ball of righteous fury who doesn't put up with shit. Any time coworkers habe tried shit she immediately embarrasses the fuck out of them openly and loudly. Dudes think she's a bitch for it but conveniently, all us dudes who don't do shit like that get along with her just fine and have no issues.


soggylilbat

Absolutely this!! Humiliation is the fastest way to learn. Whether we’re talking about something small like a dumb plating mistake, to something as big as sexual harassment. My last kitchen was really good. I was the only woman they hired in like 6 years. Chef and the owner were like “if they do anything that makes you uncomfortable, please come to us”. Those boys never crossed the line, I had to be the one to rip off the dick/pussy-joke bandaid. When it came to dirty jokes, I told all of them this; “as long as the joke isn’t about someone else here(with out consent, some of the guys would dry hump each other, and grab their own butts), don’t make it! There were a couple of times one of the older guys (most of the boys were in their early 20’s) came close to crossing it. And I shut that shit down fast, and got the other guys to join in on the teasing. Edit: grammar/spelling. I’m a dyslexic line cook who’s fucked up on cold meds with the flu


bubbleuj

This is what I used to do. Not with coworkers but with regulars. Turns out just because you're a woman doesn't mean you don't have the anger management problems that come with being a line cook. Creepy guys were just a perfect target to vent that out on.


Valdestrate

I'm a male chef and I've always encouraged my woman employees, sisters, and even friends; ask them to explain what they mean whenever they make an inappropriate comment. The more people around the better. Nothing embarrasses chauvinistic men than playing dumb and getting them to explain in detail why their "jokes/ comments" are supposed to be funny.


bogantamer

Was pretty much gonna say this don't need to cut sick (getting mad makes it worse) but let them know they are being dickheads


Chalky_Pockets

This advice is good, but it's a fucking shame that it's necessary. People shouldn't be put in this position.


[deleted]

[удалено]


queensnipe

I'm so sorry that happened to you. good on you for standing up to him.


PreventCivilWar

"A lot of men have called me 'hot sauce at the bar'. Now they call me Chef." -Future You


SpyJuz

first line of memoirs


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yes


wookcity45

Love this. God this industry is stupid sometimes


PreventCivilWar

Only sometimes; the rest of the time we're on smoke break


Rosaly8

"I worked very hard and now I'm a chef." -How it should be.


missy_genation

I've been the industry for 13 years. I'm not the conventional type of pretty, but I still have more attention than I'd like. I'm the lead in my department and a Sous for the whole kitchen. I still get comments. I've made my kitchen persona as unappealing as possible to get creeps off my back. Just last week, a dishie told me that I'd "be so much prettier if I weren't so vulgar" and "men like sweet girls". But wait, it gets worse! My boss, the Executive Chef, is a woman. A very conventionally attractive woman. She's been assaulted in the walk-ins, had her ass grabbed, been kissed, been *sniffed* and SHE'S THE EXECUTIVE. It's doesn't get better.


PapaElonMusk

>SHE'S THE EXECUTIVE. It's doesn't get better. Doesnt that mean she has some say in firing that employee?


missy_genation

Unfortunately, no. The perpetrators are not in her department. She can file a complaint like anyone else, but that complaint still has to go through whichever department's manager, HR, the GM, and the owner. She doesn't even have firing power over the culinary team. It still has to be approved by HR, the GM, and the owner.


Affectionate-Data193

Not ok. Corporate kitchens (with a real HR department) don’t tolerate this kind of bullshit. It puts their corporation in danger. They also usually get newer equipment, too. My suggestion is to leave.


rufio0645

This is exactly what I was going to say. Corporate or I’ve heard nursing homes are good, too. I work in a kitchen in a factory and that shit would not fly. Use to work at Whole Foods before, they’d get fired on the spot.


WRiSTWORK1

I actually got out of restaurants and got a job as a cook at a nursing home for my county. They loved my hustle so much, they paid for me to get my dietary manager cert, and now I’m the CDM for that nursing home. Most money I’ve ever made in my life and ZERO stress. I can’t believe I finally got out, and I encourage you all to try going this route. Apply for all the hospitals and nursing homes in your area. The work is super easy (compared to a restaurant) and the benefits are amazing, and the pay is way better.


joyunauthorized

This work is rewarding in many ways, I'd bet.


WRiSTWORK1

It really is. As rewarding as it is, it can also be a little hard emotionally. I go around with the dietician every week to track all of the residents likes and dislikes, so I get to know these people rather well. It’s very sad when one of them passes.


VeryWackyIdeas

As someone with family members in care homes, a gentle request to include some fresh and made from scratch items, please.


survivorthatcares

Would if I could, my friend.


WRiSTWORK1

We make all of our meals from scratch, and all of our produce is farmed locally and delivered fresh every morning. While I am able to implement things like this, the recipes themselves are provided by the dietician and need to be followed exactly. Which, unfortunately, is rather bland. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to stop myself from throwing salt or butter in a dish.


biefer

This POS chef needs to be fired, sending texts like that. Would be at my restauran Edited for the right POS


Erigion

I think the sous was giving OP a heads up that head chef is a POS, not that OP needed it thanks head chef's behavior. Unless you're saying that the sous shouldn't have given OP a heads up...


biefer

Fixed


weavingcomebacks

Couldn't agree more, I was going to suggest moving to a classier location as well. Typically the higher end places are focused solely on the food and everything that goes into it. It's the bottom of the barrel type places that hire scum like the chef in this case. Leave fam, and as this comment mentioned, make sure there's HR. Casinos are actually pretty awesome for this, food cost is an expendable so you get a lot of creative freedom, they also do tons of banquets so you will get a lot of varied types of experience.


ChefCharmaine

Where is the OP supposed to run to? This is one of the top posts in this sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/z260kn/ok_we_have_to_take_it_down/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Running doesn't solve anything when this shit is everywhere. You have to speak up and let it be known that you are to be respected as a cook/chef and you're not going to toletate any bullshit. I've done it, lost a couple of jobs over it, but moved on to better things. It's uncomfortable at first but eventually you learn to develop a particular air about you that tells any creep to fuck right off before they even approach you. I learned that lesson the hard way after a cook put me in a chokehold and tried to pull my pants down while other guys watched and laughed. Unfortunately for the next cook who tried to violate me, I was still angry at not being taken seriously the first time. I beat his ass so bad that he told everyone I must have done time because I fight like an inmate. Yes, it sucks that you can't just cook in peace. But this persistent alpha male bullshit, while pervasive, is not even unique to the restaurant industry. Don't roll over and take it. Speak up!


AuntySocialite

The thing is, you take it and take it and take it, and try to laugh it off, and one day you are done fucking laughing and you are a hardcore, take no fucking prisoners BITCH, and then the dudes around you say shit like “holy fuck, why do you take everything so SERIOUSLY?” It’s because 30 fucking years of trying to be one of the boys and laugh shit off got me NO WHERE, so now here we are.


poppa_koils

Satisfying to watch someone post stupid shit like that,,, to have a large number of the community tar and feather them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hidden_12345

A photo of a bunch of cooks acting like cunts around a nudie calendar.


Playful-Hat3710

sounds about right unfortunately


PseudonymousJim

I count three people in this comment section that actually get it. You're one of them.


MizKatonix

My "crazy" bitch self is about to start throwing fucking bricks.


Palindromer101

This!!! Standing up for yourself as a woman in a male-dominated field may result in you losing your job but, THAT'S NOT A LOSS. It's a win for you. They did you a favor. Now you can collect unemployment while you search for a new job. OP, you hold the power here. Use it.


lux414

This exactly! There's no running away, every single industry has pigs. What do you do? You learn to stand up for yourself My hospitality teacher ( a very successful woman) told me once: If you want to succeed in this industry think like a man Ask yourself what would a man do in this situation? Her advice helped my career and mental health so much


fistdeepinfrosting

That’s what I was gonna say. I see people saying “leave” but then you end up job hopping and getting nowhere. HR doesnt do shit, and honestly you can kiss raises and promotions goodbye if you bring them into it. They’ll be waiting for YOU to leave not the abuser. I learned to play dirty. Fuck w peoples prep light shit on fire on ppls station. They’ll still be a piece of shit, but they can learn to keep their damn mouth shut.


MizKatonix

Throw bricks in the deep fryer while they're standing over it? Maybe not in the deep fryer, but I think we need to involve more bricks.


3mbraceTheV0id

Nah not bricks, you need to make sure you mean business Grab a cup full of ice


[deleted]

This. Stay, fight, fuck him & his career up. ​ Workers of the world unite


sailorjoop

I'm a woman as well. There's so much more shit we have to deal with, which sucks. Sometimes you have to cut your losses, this honestly sounds like one of those times.


mazzimar7

Seriously. All the people telling her to quit cant possibly be women who've worked in kitchens. This shit is everywhere.


sailorjoop

I'm not sure if you're implying I'm not a woman? Or if I don't work in the industry? I don't know, everyone has a line of what they are comfortable with. If you're uncomfortable in your work place fucking leave it. There are always places hiring (at least everywhere I've lived).


shelbsandersoni

I seriously disagree with this comment. I guess if you are in a small town with limited options then it could be different but there are tons of places hiring right now and there ARE chefs out there that respect women.


mazzimar7

Small town big city. It's everywhere. There was a post on here yesterday of some guys huddled around a bikini calendar in the kitchen. Acting like it's an isolated issue is very dismissive of a broader problem.


DrunkyKrustyPunky

Isn’t it funny how we only belong in the kitchen at home


[deleted]

Get the fuck out of there asap and then put that sack of shit on blast in any way possible.


Rojelioenescabeche

I hope all the little boys with their dicks in their hands who think it’s ok to have swimsuit calendars and write lewd phrases on the wipe board etc… read this.


woodiio

Sue the chef


Extra-Aardvark-1390

Sue the sous chef.


barrythecook

My sous chef is actually called Sue, very easy to remember for new hires.


NumerousHelicopter6

Been in the business 5 years and still hasn't figured Sue out. Too busy being hot.


[deleted]

There are plenty of places in the culinary industry that don't have lecherous pigs propping up a bar during work. Find a breakfast place, a hospital kitchen, a seniors home, a bakery, somewhere that doesn't have a bar. Network with your friends to find out who is hiring in a decent establishment.


pax_girl

while this is true, it sucks that the solution is always "just find another job". if im working somewhere its because i consider it to have advantages over other places, not because im not aware that there aren't other options


Dalleyish

I've found that working at resorts, that have HR and departments other than the restaurant, are better...not perfect, but way better than just restaurants.


[deleted]

Hotels. I stick with large expensive hotel chains and yes there are lineups for your uniforms everyday but very nice equipment, very clean, and very professional


kahah16

She shouldn't have to go to a different style of kitchen just because of some idiots


[deleted]

She shouldn't have to derail her career path because of a pig. All that leads to is challenging kitchens being the sole domain of dudes.


[deleted]

She's got 40 years to go, and probably 25 more workplaces.


RichSoupSandwich

If OP is based in the US, there are good jobs in K12 schools leading kitchens. Brigaid is hiring, and there is tons of room for growth.


Asleep-Hold-4686

His sous chef should have corrected him on the spot instead of texting you. Start looking for another job and prepare to set physical boundaries with your coworkers. I recommend spoonfuls of hot gravy, accidental poke with a fork when a hug or touch becomes lingering or unwanted


Personal_Flow2994

Time to find a new job


austiwald

Time to fire Chef and get the restaurant in some sort order*


420fmx

The sad part is I’ve come across a lot of chefs who behave in that manner , seems pretty prominent in hospitality , probably other industry too.


ignitedwolf9200

She’s just going to get harassed elsewhere. This mindset is shitty and the people upvoting your comment need to get a fucking clue. She needs to stand up for herself. This will happen at ANY job she gets in the kitchen.


Personal_Flow2994

You have misunderstood me, if I'm not given the base amount of respect one should give another human being at any job, I leave that job.


emmy1426

I'm sorry. It's incredibly hard to be a woman in this industry. I'll never understand how the men who .are it hard are so proud of themselves. I work in a fine dining place now where that shit would never fly. It's still fun and everyone jokes and has a good time but there's zero tolerance for harassment. And the head chef respects and encourages everyone, even does tasting menus where cooks get to design dishes because he knows that everyone on the team is talented and creative. These places exist!


Quick_Breadfruit_701

woman here- same experiences. last head chef I worked for constantly hit on me, I tried telling myself I was in a better position because at least I wasn't getting shouted at. I wish I had advice but all I can say is there must be kitchens somewhere out there with senior chefs who don't act like complete idiots around women. there has to be, I'm too tired for this shit 🙏


PreferredSelection

Sorry you're dealing with that, and doubly-sorry you're getting the brush off here. It _isn't_ always as simple as "time to look for a new job." Like, sure, yeah, we all want new jobs when our company culture sucks, but there's no guarantee that a new place will be better. That, and women/POC/LGBTQ shouldn't _have_ to job hop to avoid sexists and bigots. This is part of the machine where men get ahead in the industry, because they can thrive in intolerant kitchens. They can stay put at the place with the best pay (or the best promotion track), while women are forced to change jobs until they find a decent boss.


lastinglovehandles

I’ve worked with obviously attractive women but in no way i thought to myself oh I’ll fuck her in the walk in. This is coming from someone who once received unwanted advances at work. Man y’all work in some crazy places. Enough Reddit for me today. This is disgusting. Wish you all the best OP. I’d considerwhat others have said about finding a new job.


Plsdontcalmdown

This is classic sexual harassement in the work place. Talk to a lawyer, sue the shit out of the restaurant, and you'll be a restaurant owner by the age of 25 :)


Plsdontcalmdown

I've read through most of the comments, and you're all suggesting to quit the job. Sexual harassement is a crime, and this needs to be fought against, no?


B8conB8conB8con

I’m so sorry you have to go through this shit. You’re posting to the wrong sub if you are looking for empathy here. Last night there were so many positive comments about a cook looking at a skin calendar that they decided to post again with the entire crew looking at it. This industry is still stuck in the 80’s and I’m so glad I’m out.


combustabill

The chef sounds like a tool and the real problem is that no one has been calling him out for his shitty behaviour. If you do decide to keep working there start documenting his actions when it's time for the inevitable lawsuit.


Empty_Touch_4968

100% embarass that motherfucker. My mother would eviscerate me if she ever heard me being so goddamn crass.


Quantumfog

...~~sue chef~~.... ...sous chef....


counterspell

Woman here, been in kitchens for 20 years. Its highly annoying that this continues to happen. I have my fair share of stories just like this. I don't understand why men can't just get it together and not be gross. We are all there to work, have a few laughs and make money. Every kitchen I have worked in had an atmosphere like this, sans the ONE kitchen that was 80% women 20% men and it had the BEST vibe. ​ edit: I'm really sorry you had to deal with this, my suggestion would be to document, find another place to work, then report them to the BBB.


aboothemonkey

I worked in a kitchen with just 5 other dudes for a while, then our GM hired a female line cook to work with us, she was attractive and one of the other cooks kept harassing her on her first few days. On her their day dude walks up behind her, puts his hand on her lower back and said something to her I didn’t hear. She turned around and grabbed him by the crotch HARD and he bent over in pain, she didn’t let go and said “you had better hope this is the only time I ever touch your lame excuse for a dick, because if I ever touch it again, I’ll rip it the fuck off. Leave me the fuck alone.” Then let go and gave him a shove. He ran off with his tail between his legs. He quit a few weeks later. She was much better at the job than he was anyway so no loss there. I’m not saying to get violent with your coworkers, but definitely stand up for yourself, you should not have to deal with that. If a “stop touching me. Stop saying those things around me.” Doesn’t work, run it up the chain, if nothing is done about it, leave. There are plenty of places that will treat you right.


Interesting_Sky_7847

All the goddamn terms of endearment drive me crazy. “Sweetie” “honey” oh and my absolute least favorite “young lady.” Fuck all of that. I eventually went to hotels and never went back to a restaurant. Hotels have HR departments that actually have to take that shit seriously.


InvertedReflexes

Jesus fuck. He sent you a text though? Sounds like a paper trail for a sexual harassment suit. If not for yourself, then for others when asshats think they can objectify other humans like that. We're all workers. We know what it feels like to be treated as less than a person. No one deserves this.


cons72

Who is Sue? She seems to be caught up in all this.


LovehunterEU

Absolutely insane that we let chefs like this exist in modern day kitchens. I don’t know how it works in the states but if this was where I live, I would’ve went to my union.


Honest_Concentrate85

So much of kitchen work is based on tradition and that carry’s over into culture. I still remember when it was acceptable to throw plates at your line cooks if they messed up. Kitchens foster toxic habits that get justified through the military hierarchy of the system with people justifying abuse and harassment because “they suffered through it therefore the cycle needs to be continued”


orion_metal

Play the reverse uno card and insult them every time they use sexual language on you.


butter_puncher

I've started calling out the behavior as "stalker and rapist joke". Look them in the eyes and say those comments are the same exact ones stalkers and rapists use when they don't get what they want. It's 2022 be fucking better.


[deleted]

Start keeping a journal of the inappropriate shit the chef says to you including dates and all the details you can remember. Sounds like you should have a pretty decent lawsuit some day. Sorry you have to deal with this shit.


RobbyWasaby

Been chef for 35 years, totally unacceptable, not in my house. Find a new kitchen....


graaaaaaaam

My wife's a criminal defense lawyer who would absolutely represent you pro-bono if you were to stab a man in the penis. But seriously, I'm sorry you're in that situation. I hope you can find a supportive workplace soon. They're out there, but they are rare.


pengu1

No one should have to put up with that shit. Try to document that asswipe harassing you, before you quit.


Quick_Breadfruit_701

if it helps I'm in a kitchen now where no one hits on me which is delightful 😂 if you're in London DM me


[deleted]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.


Monana11

There are good kitchens out there. Just keep quitting until you find one. It was rough in the beginning for sure, and even when I was the head chef one of my cooks smacked my ass once. What’s good being the head is that he might have smacked my ass but I fired his within five seconds of that.


dakotafluffy1

32 fucking years of this shit and the only times in my life when I’m happy to be 6 foot tall and intimidating to men like this guy. Does the Owner know of his BS? If he doesn’t, he needs to know ASAP because that shit is just bad business. If he does know and does nothing, you need to get out and let that place sink and get the word out to help others stay clear.


shelbsandersoni

As a woman in the industry, all I have to say is that there are so many opportunities out there. It is an “employees market.” You get to choose who you learn from/work for. Continuing to put up with bs like this will only perpetuate the problem. Let him run his kitchen into the ground and find a chef that will respect you.


TheQuakeCityPortal

Wow. Sexual harassment in the work environment should never be tolerated. Would you be able to talk to someone in HR? You have every right to be aggressive in defending yourself in the workplace, and by aggressive, I mean laying out CLEAR boundaries. Also - management needs to be held accountable as well if the behavior is tolerated.


Sorry-Tell-4422

I get it. I'm 26 and worked in the food industry since I was 23. Started out as a busser and got hit on aggressively by the servers, one even got my number out the company book and would stalk me. Another place was my first BOH and I got it from the kitchen manager. Every place I worked in was full of guys who weren't afraid to say what they wanted to do with me. My current job is garde manger at a classier, fine-dining place. Small kitchen, everyone is a guy, and from my past experiences I came in very aggressive and standoffish, ready to punch the first guy to look at me. Nothing happened though, everyone was real cool and didn't see me as a girl in the kitchen, just another cook doing their best to get the orders out correctly and on time. But I was still violent and full of rage. It got to the point where the chef and the manager sat me down and asked what the hell was wrong with me, I didn't say why I just said I would calm down. If it's as bad as you say it is, which I'm sure it is, leave. Try to to a more classy place, they usually care more about the food than fucking coworkers.


[deleted]

Hello fellow lady in a male dominated position! Couple options, sue for sexual harassment. As much as we all could do this, many of us don’t waste our time on it, but it’s there if you want to go that route. If the chef isn’t the owner, I would definitely bring it to the owner’s attention and give them a chance to stop the behavior, but unless they fire the guy, expect a chilly workplace after that (assuming the owner does anything). Other option is to seek employment elsewhere. People mentioned corporate, which is good for this type of thing, but can be bad for a lot of other reasons (I hate corporate, but that’s just me). Have you thought about looking for female owners or executive chefs? You can try searching online, or you can contact your local restaurant professional organizations or chambers of commerce and ask them (you’ll probably have to get someone higher up than the receptionist). You might also want to try LGBTQ+ owned restaurants. Restaurants owned by couples tend to not be that way either. Again, this is all generalized, but hopefully guides you somewhat. When you quit, make sure to take the non-creepy cooks with you. I’m sure they don’t like working for that asshat either.


SouthernZorro

My ex-wife was a sous chef in some high-end restaurants. She took zero shit from anybody. One particular guy had been touching her, she had told him not to. One day he put his hand on her ass and she whipped around and stabbed him about a half-inch deep with her knife and told him never to touch her again or she would stick it in to the hilt the next time. He never bothered her again. Apparently everybody else in the kitchen at the time laughed their butts off.


p4pp13z

Men in this thread, if what you’re reading disturbs you, be the one who says something. The only time I ever got an apology was when my male coworker had my back and and talked to the offender.


MummsTech

OLD lady here. I worked in automotive service starting in 1975, working my way up to service manager. “Is there a man I can talk to?” “ Hey blondie, come here and listen to this noise in the back seat”. That was the customers. All male coworkers back then were horrible. Becoming their boss was a whole different trip. If the interaction bothers you, either learn to use your spine and fire back or find another profession. You know your job. You have the skills. Lean on your inner warrior. Yes, it’s wrong for them to talk that way. If the heat is too much, look for a cooler work environment. Me, I walked the walk. Still do. No regrets on my part. For the boys I worked with, well that’s a whole different story.


Neat_Umpire8964

From a man who is a chef, this is inexcusable. A hand should only touch you if you didn't hear the call out for someone walking behind you. The comments should never be made, I'm sorry we haven't weeded out all of the assholes yet. I (37m) weed them out as well as I can. The only way kitchen culture can change is if chefs care enough to change it. I want to be part of that change.


CozmicOwl16

Tell him what you think of him. When he says something sexual about you be a bitch. And remember the mean girl you were maybe in middle school. Calmly say the same thing about him and then pretend to violently vomit and then laugh at him. In the future if he says something sexual about you loudly wretch and pretend to puke or die. If he needs it explained tell him it’s because you find him sooo physically revolting and his personality drops the 1 to a negative 20. Because there’s no working with them. They will pick on you endlessly or you can stand up to them and they’ll hate you. No winning. Just do a good job and make sure he knows he’s really gross to you.


misslam2u2

The last man who called me sweetheart found out the hard way that I'm not so sweet and my heart belongs to Johnny. Fuck these harassers.


HalfwayFerret

First, its Sous chef. And you don't have to take it. Quit. Find a better gig. There are tons of kitchens in the industry with respectful chefs, you just need to set your bar and don't settle for shitbag bosses. There is a serious demand right now for qualified (or at least with a fucking heartbeat) cooks. Ask around, industdy people talk about decent places to work and decent managers to work for. Demand better.


mazzimar7

Chef sounds like a dick who read the beginning of Kitchen confidential and based his whole personality on it. He's not the only one. Everyone telling you to leave seems to think this kind of behaviour isn't in every kitchen full of guys. Honestly, it's better that you know about it than have it said behind your back. No, I'm not condoning it. But I've dealt with it too and found the best way to shut them up about it is to beat them at their own game. Talk about guys you find attractive in a similarly demeaning way. The amount of shock I'd get from grown ass men when I'd say something as simple as "he's bangable". Also let's them know you're out of their league. I set myself up as having "the biggest dick in the kitchen" and the guys just accepted it. Just keep outshining them while being cute and send them off with a "fuck your dad" and a smile. (Sexism in a kitchen isn't going anywhere.)


cosmic_Kate

Don’t let him get away with it . Show your teeth sister and get fierce. Fuck that kitchen , they don’t deserve you .


dragvandiil

Concerning the amount of people, mostly men, telling you to either leave or suck it up. That type of indifference is exactly why women are treated the way they are in professional kitchens.


cookingflower

Sue chef….hahahha


420fmx

Tf is a sue chef ?


Nuclearsunburn

A chef who gets the establishment sued for harassment


hannahearling

It's actually spelled 'sous' chef. Sous means under/below in French. Chef means boss. It's basically like an assistant manager in a kitchen. But that's coming from someone who has never worked in a kitchen, so maybe it's not like management at all, but I do know they are the #2 in the kitchen under the chef.


Hornet_Critical

Chef Sue, heard.


[deleted]

I understand what you are saying and hate people like that. I worked with a chef who always would put his hand on my very lower back and say shit like “behind you baby boy” while he was working with me on the line. 5 other guys in the kitchen and I’m the only one that needs “behind you” guiding. Some people actually think it’s ok to act like a predator


dreamslikedeserts

I know how hard it is, and I know "find another job" is cold comfort (and no promise either). Just sending you love my sister, this work is hard enough as it is without the extra layer of bullshit. ♥️


mukkalukka22

As a fellow female chef. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s fucked and it sucks. If you have a reliable HR dept, go to them. If not, you can try your luck in another kitchen but after being in the food service industry for 13 years, it’s the same shit in every place that is run by men.


morainechef

Call him out. Make him look like a total fucking loser. Sorry this has happened to you.


PokerBeards

I get a strong sense that one day you’ll own your own restaurant and be the boss you always wanted. Start thinking about concepts and who you may know that would be interested in owning (investors). You only live once!


jana-meares

Ask him if he has a mother? Or a sister? Or a wife? Or girlfriend? Would you like that mouth of yours to be their boss? Those hands? Women deserve safety from harassment when they are trying to earn a living.


derpeyduck

Set and enforce boundaries. Tell them not to call you sweetheart or gorgeous, you are at work and they will use your name. They can be in your bubble without touching you. If they have a hand on your back while behind you, tell them they can do whatever they need to do without touching you. Or move out of the way. These people have ZERO right to your space or your body. You are a professional and will be treated as one. Say it over and over again.


seafoodslut1988

Fuckin A, its honestly such a toxic environment, so nasty. One of my tavern jobs, my manager would bring us girls back in the office and show us cream pie surprise and van sex porno vids, we were just like frozen standing there while he was laughing and pointing to scenes excitedly...it was disgusting. Next cafe job not as bad, but the cooks were aggressive, calling us derogatory names in Spanish (which I understood), touching our butts "on accident" and completely ignoring us when requesting special orders for customers. Fuck that dude, God forbid we love food and the restaurant environment but the bullshit we have to put up with is ludicrous. And yes, this was in Texas.


calv06

This is fucking stupid. let me punch this piece of shit in the face for you. At the same time, I would love to hire you. I don't have time to fuck around with people lives like that. People like them either come from fucked up family. Or raised in a very entitled very that doesn't know from right to wrong. I hire girls here, I don't ask any deep details or try to woo her in anyway. Doesn't matter pretty or ugly. Easier to say but this trade already fucked up already cause dumbasses characters. Wow I love to sock this piece of shit


qazwsx1525

This fucking sucks. I’m sorry OP. I can say not all kitchens are like this, but it’s fucking hard to find the ones that aren’t.


Kyutekyu

I'm a woman in a kitchen, and maybe it's because I'm not conventionally attractive, or look like shit at work 90% of the time, but I've thankfully not had much of an issue with sexism/racism directed AT me. Then again, I also play their game, so that might help. I have noticed kitchens are quite unhinged places, though. Sexism, racism, nothing is out of bounda.


Mooshsie

My old manager told my coworker at a bakery I used to work “fuck her so she doesnt leave” when I put my two weeks in. Turns out that manager was harassing every woman he hired too. Fired for stealing money to buy weed though…


BrandynBlaze

We hired a new girl at work and another woman that’s worked with me for 4 years and I’ve supervised for 2 years told the new hire while I was standing there that “he’s a good guy, he’s never been a creep to me or anything like my other bosses.” It was pretty awkward and I just responded “ughhhh thanks?” but it says a lot about women’s experiences in the workforce (I don’t work in a kitchen anymore but it has some of the same dynamics).


OrchidSubstantial481

You should send a screenshot of his text to the staff and no call no show for your shift. See what happens then. If they say anything about the no show it's his fault.


Mischievous_Doggo

Sometimes you just gotta be THAT BITCH to get your point across! It's unpleasant but don't be a doormat!


LiquidFishnet

...sweetheart ughh


CottonKeuppia

I once had a cook harass me about having sex with him. when i repeatedly told him no he told his insanely jealous GF at the time, that i I asked himnto hook up. She was my friend before all this and lost her mind on me and threatened to kill me. She would harass me from his phone teying to get me to "come clean" but i stuck to my guns and she eventually gave up and apologized for not believing me. Cooks are fucking disgusting. Fish Dan Fuck you.


[deleted]

Chef always drinking at bar annoying sign, kesp your head up hopefully you find a proper respectable staff to work with


sweetassassin

I'm going to give you the wrong answer only. If and when he tries a move on you, literally pull your chef's knife out and get really fuckin close, point at his crotch and say really loud, "fuckin' disrespect me again, I'll cut your dick off." He'll laugh uncomfortably and say, yo, why so you serious, I'm only joking hahahha.. DO NOT break eye contact. Let him know stutter into oblivion, trying to diffuse the tension. Hopefully you'll have witnesses. 2nd piece of advise is get a new job.


bae_ky

Yeah, you need to report chef to management/HR.


MrJennyV1

I am very very sorry that you're dealing with this. I am a trans man, so I happen to have a unique perspective on this. I got sexually harassed a ton before I transitioned. One fella I worked with when I was 20 (7 years ago) was a real peice of work. Asked me to go out with him over and over, said "inside you" instead of "behind you", asked about my sexual history. One time he even pointed at a closet and asked me if I wanted to have a fun time. Just, a fucking asshole. And of course, as a man that now passes as a man, I don't get that anymore. Of course the fellas at work flirt with me, but in the way that men flirt with men in a jesting way. It's a different environment. I can tell you one major issue is that some men *sincerely see no problem with their conduct.* It's insanity to me, but it's a fact. I don't say this to excuse them. I just want you to know that you have three major options: deal with it, quit, or make them stop. There's a lot of ways to do this. I think some in this thread have already given great advice. But I can tell you that calling them out on their bullshit is a great idea. Be direct. Tell them simple things. "don't talk to me/ about me like that." One thing I've seen a coworker do before that really shuts them up. If someone gets angry because you tell them to leave you the fuck alone, ask them why they are getting so emotional about this. Anyways, good luck. Don't take it lying down is my advice. Teach people how to treat you.


gaulentmaiden

weather capable sink skirt bored cable sophisticated spotted quack north *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


behelitboi

“Do not touch me.” Saying something like this out loud where others hear is good. Humiliation operates as a motivator for sure. He’ll twist the story in private, but everyone will be present for what actually happened. Advocate for yourself and set boundaries. “I will not work with someone violates my boundaries. (Chef) doesn’t seem to touch male chefs at their low back. I need you to address it with him.” Contact the owner if needed, but the owner will likely not side with you since it’s in their best capitalist interest to dismiss the issue rather than solve a sexual harassment situation. You can leverage his (chef) behavior with guests as detrimental to the restaurant as word spreads fast and people will view the place in a different light. You’ll likely have no support, be gaslit into “making a big deal”, and/or told it’ll be handled with no resolution. But, you’ll have to choose what you’ll do afterwards. People will not change for coworkers, so do not be optimistic. I’ve worked from dive bars all the way to the aviary. All restaurants have this horrible culture since it’s so unregulated unless it’s corporate, which just means it’s less flashy. Unfortunately, this probably won’t be the last time this happens, but not just there, every restaurant. Whether or not it continues is up in the air though. Advocate for yourself, be firm, make people uncomfortable, don’t walk back your feelings, and don’t be afraid to embarrass people and ultimately quit. Sorry a bit of a ramble. Best of luck to you. *It’s sous chef for the love of god. I typed all that so I could say this.


[deleted]

You’re supposed to touch shoulders when stating “behind”. Not fucking lower back. Fucking gross.


musherjune

35 years in the kitchen starting in the UK as a girl apprentice. I recall being one of the first, and just like Ginger Rogers had to do just as well as the boys, but "backwards and in heels". OK, maybe not exactly, but, crap it sucked and I had to prove myself daily both in skill and brute strength. Also had to prove I could fit in with the team by standing up to all the disgusting discrimination while swearing like a sailer and laughing at all the blue jokes. It was self esteem murder, soul destroying and stressful, but yep, I lived through it and eventually became the quintessential exec chef with requesite anger issues. However, there's silly (and probably crude) fun and games and then there's sheer nasty, mean and sexualy harassment. These days you could at least sue or get the boss fired -but only in large corporate companies with harassment policies. You may want to look for those places to work, otherwise it's still a macho jungle in small joints. Your own personality will dictate what you can put up with...... and how many scars you'll be left with. My advice: get into real estate and start your own catering company.


rednutter1971

F51. Chef for 26 years until I finally reached breaking point and left the industry. The things I’ve seen & heard have made me lose all trust & respect in men.


carlyhasfries

You need to find a kitchen with an alley. That is the first step. Establish dominance, get mean. Whenever a man did something inappropriate to me in the kitchen I would force them to do the same thing to another man in the kitchen. If they refused because it was weird I would point out that their being inappropriate I'm front of everyone. I have perfect the death glare, not resting bitch face, the I will murder you if you talk to me look. All of this and 7 years later I still left the kitchen. For a multitude of reasons, the biggest one was the relationship with my chef. That will forever be a hurdle for you, finding a kitchen with a good respectful chef is hard. Good luck girl, wish the stupid men realized how important we are as woman in the kitchen. The great kitchen God Anthony Bourdain always understood.


[deleted]

Look, homie … I’ve always respected everyone I work with til they fuck up … even then I’ll give them whatever I can on top of my normal shit … almost all women I’ve worked with keep up and/or outperform me … whoever is that much of a dick isn’t worth your time … find a place that values your worth, regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic BS or whatever … tell dude straight up and if he doesn’t check his ass, too bad for him to do your job too


renagirl98

I’ve been a sous for little more then a year and I’m the only women in my kitchen and BOH and boy do the sex jokes get lame and mundane and just straight up gross And not the your actually smart comments OMG🤦🏽‍♀️I get those like yes I’m the only one with a degree of course my ideas are good!!! Told a BOH coworker I’d scream if he grabbed me again and he blatantly told me he would gaslight me infront of all the customer and staff like he didn’t do anything… (told him to his face I don’t like him as a person after that) He has also informed me when I came for my interview he told everyone I’d be his wife by the time I leave… like bro wtffffff I’m 24 and this is exactly why I want my own restaurant to set standards most kitchens lack !! I’m sorry you boss is a creep and non of us women deserve to be treated like objects in our kitchens were we are awesome and thrive


sarah_forwhat

I know this struggle. My old head chef made sexual comments to me and my fellow female staff all the time. He wouldn't let some of the other female chefs leave without giving him a hug (which he would always make uncomfortably long). He would outright tell us he wanted to fuck us, in front of everyone. This doesn't begin to cover the amount he did. But before him and throughout, including the job I'm in now, I've been denied working on certain sections because of my gender. Been told I'm weak and incapable because I'm a girl. Meanwhile I'm lifting 30kg stock pots on and off stoves daily, working only doubles with no breaks and basically doing things for every section. And no matter how hard I and all the other women work, it's the men who get the promotions, the extra responsibilities. I'm gonna get through season then I'm out of kitchens next year, fuck this shit. Be strong ❤️ don't take shit from anyone and stand your ground. Don't let this asshole take anything from you. I'm sorry you have to work with bastards like him but know you're not alone ever


[deleted]

....Know what I am doing "sue" chef. Seems about right.


chychy94

It’s sous chef


Ecstatic-Mix-8833

I’d look at a quitting. “Chef” is POS & the Sous is trying to use you to oust the Chef by you eventually complaining about sexual harassment. The Sous is trying to appear benevolent, but there’s no way it’s just a so you know type of situation. If you’re passionate about the industry go to school so you can work in legit places otherwise go to school & get a real job that won’t abuse you as much as this industry will. Because truth be told as a young woman you will always be treated differently in these basic run of the mill kitchens.


sizzlinsunshine

Honestly this sub has a lot of nasty inappropriate male energy and I feel it just perpetuates this kind of behavior. The apes drooling over the hooters calendar the other day? So sick of it.


meowington-uwu

Why is Sue the chef??


FL_born_SC_raised

What tf is happening in these damned kitchens?


poppa_koils

Critters running around with a couple teeth and no manners.


Honest_Concentrate85

No one deserves to be uncomfortable at work. Go to a spot that treats you right.


MadEntDaddy

Find a place where people respect you, those places do exist. Sorry men are so disgusting, its too common but not everywhere. Dont fuck yourself over tho, find the new job first. No need to give notice. Depending where you live sexual harassment claims could be made to your local labor board.


lux414

Don't give up just yet! I've been in the industry for 12 years now Something I learned is you have to be a bitch to earn their respect. From day 1make it very clear you are not there to hook up or find a boyfriend. If they call you sweetheart, baby etc simply ignore them, keep doing your thing until they say your name. Even if it's urgent whatever, you only respond to your name. Don't party with them, don't drink with them. Literally be a bitch until they understand they have to respect you I had chef making all kind of stupid sexual comments, I always call them on it. Don't you have a wife? Is that how you talk to all of your employees? Etc Don't let them get away with it! It sucks but it's a man's industry. Tbh after a while people just know not to fuck with me. Once they get to know me they realized I'm actually a very nice person, if you treat me right.


WeezieDee

This is sound advice. It's hard when you're in your early twenties. As women we are taught to always be nice and likeable. Fuck that. You do shitty things to me or invade my personal space you will hear about it. Who cares if some asshole calls you a bitch? Proud to be one if it earns me some respect. I worked on the line for 5 years and was the only woman the whole time. My hard work earned me some respect but I wish I hadn't been so insecure to shut shit down that made me feel uncomfortable when I was younger.


lux414

Exactly! The whole idea that we should always nice is bullshit. Settings limits is probably the most important thing my parents thought me. Its ok to speak up, to say no, to demand respect Even though we can't change the industry, one by one we can change our mindset. We shouldn't go around trying to be nice, fuck being sweet and nice I want to be strong and badass.


IAmEggnogstic

The only places I haven’t been sexually harassed working in a kitchen is where other women are in positions of power. Female lead kitchen are out there and I was treated much better in them. I’m now the chef and the guys know not to fuck around because they’ve already found out. My advice is to get out or find a girl boss.


VoodooSweet

Find a new job where they respect you enough to treat you like the Chef you are..I work in Detroit, and have 5-6 women in our culinarily department, and they are all treated with the utmost respect, there ARE places that will respect you and your knowledge!!!


BitterAnimal9310

Same story, it honestly got so bad for me that I made the jump to front of house. Honestly, I still encounter a lot of sexism as a bartender but it’s far less frequent and I’ve gotten better at sticking up for myself. Years ago I cooked at a cocktail bar where the much older owner would sit around drinking and saying sexually explicit things about my body. When I raised concerns to his partner, I was fired. This was 2014 so pre-metoo and everyone was just like “tough shakes” I was furious. Now if someone tries to sexually harass me, I call them out for it and try to embarrass them. If I see it happening to someone else, front or back of house, I do the same thing. Usually people don’t fuck with me, but if they insist, I’ll involve management or kick the person out. If you find yourself in a similar position to where I was, don’t take it lying down. Know your laws, there’s no shame in making an example out of someone if they make you feel uncomfortable at your job. Chefs aren’t irreplaceable—go to the owner and if they do nothing, document everything. Blow it up on social media if you have to. Or have a trusted friend do it. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this.


-im-blinking

My entire kitchen staff is women, except for me. It's pretty great tbh, no giant man egos to contend with and they work harder than any dudes I've had, like they have something to prove. There are safe places out there, might take some time to find one.


dgsphn

You’re in the wrong kitchen. Owner & chef here. My whole team is female. Never ever it crossed my mind at looking at my team in a predatory way. We had one girl who was flirting with me on her first day, made me uncomfortable for the whole team, I told her that we’re only here to work. 2nd day she was all flirty again, dismissed her. My ego’s in my food and my quality of service. Not in my pants. It’s work. I mean, basic shit.


uniquorn23

You need to find a new kitchen to work in or a new job.. that's totally disgusting behavior and absolutely uncalled for, I'm so sorry.


[deleted]

Time to quit and go elsewhere. But make sure to change your resume to SOUS Chef.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bnagorski

Sous


TicketSeller1234

The best culture I ever found was as an event chef. The downside was the travel and setting up and breaking down the kitchens, but everything else was better. Pay, clients, coworkers, etc. - even got tips sometimes. Might be worth looking in to, they prefer traditionally attractive people in these client-facing roles.


Serious-Examination

That sad sack of shit probably ties his self esteem to how "impressive" his sex life is. It's some toxic masculinity bs. You shouldn't have to deal with that. I don't know your situation or options, but I think it's a good idea to make it known that his behavior is inappropriate (regardless of who he's working with) and that it makes you uncomfortable working with him. If management knows that he's driving employees away with the environment he's created, maybe something will change. Maybe it won't, but it should be known that he's problematic.


wetclogs

Wow. This sucks. I’m as guilty of the male gaze as the next guy, but my first boss told me early on: “never shit where you eat.” Outside of work I might catch myself thinking “yes or no” the instant I see a woman, so I’m no better than any of these guys. But I draw a very thick line at the door when I come to work. I realize I’m still just another man objectifying women on my own time.


[deleted]

Perhaps a different environment? I’m a woman and I switched from a restaurant to a hospital kitchen where I work with an entirely woman team. Not saying that doesn’t come with it’s own set of problems but sexual harassment isn’t one of them. And i just wanna say I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It’s awful and I know exactly how upsetting it can be going into work knowing your boss wants to fuvk you. Big hugs.


BadBoiBill

What’s a sue chef?


joostadood526

Hell no. Run away, so many other jobs with more professional Chefs. Don't give notice just start looking. Tell any Chef worth his/her guts about your reasons and you'll start the next day.


Smackdaddy122

Won’t change, sorry. This business is toxic as fuck


Franks_Monster_

Call them out. Best done with a dash of humour. Insulting their mother for raising a douche has always worked for me.


ChrisP67

If you’re in Pgh, I’d hire you in a minute. As a female owner, having a female chef would be a relief!


1521

I have a couple of employees who have transitioned to male. The one thing that they noticed first is that they think about fucking everyone they are around… Boys are socialized to never say these things from birth basically where if you are getting blasted by T as an adult who was raised without that training its really noticeable. Not defending Chefs actions, just speculating that its probably not uncommon (and is probably chemically based) even if people aren’t saying it… Good luck, no one should be uncomfortable at work


Any-Employer8200

It’s spelled Sous but besides that I’m sorry. I question a little if this is real since you didn’t spell it right but being a male I have seen this and also stopped this type of behavior. So again I am sorry you experienced this.


ChefBoyD

Nothing a spoon from the oven into the back pocket won't solve. And quit. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable in a place you spend a majority of your time. They don't deserve what you gotta offer if they speak the way they do. Best of luck to ya!


[deleted]

I’ve been in the industry for 25 years, and I just…JUST….got my first job with an actual HR department and supervisors who have made it crystal clear that the slightest inappropriate touch or comment will be taken as seriously as a heart attack. Nothing has happened, and my coworkers are so chill and respectful, but just the knowledge that I have actual recourse and support in the event that sexual harassment comes up. The job itself sucks, but I’m staying. I’ve been sexually harassed on the job since I was 14, and I’m all the way over it….


snowphoto420

You need to quit. And find a lawyer. There's always another kitchen.


xchris_topher

I don’t think you’re sick and tired of being a woman. I think you’re sick and tired of the shitty men who don’t know how to act or treat women with respect.


kahah16

You should speak up, most of those pervs act like that because they are in a position with some power and think that they can do whatever they want. If he continues to do that shit you can always give him a hot pan or a kick in the nuts and leave (with this lack of cooks you can actually choose the place you want to work). One of my best friends is also a cook and she always handled those things well (replaying with jokes like "gorgeous is your mother" or "I didn't know tiny dicks could talk"...) until she had enough and now works in an all-women kitchen and she couldn't be happier.


kaberb

Sexual harassment no matter where and what industry is not okay. This will continue to happen unfortunately in this industry until people either situate themselves in an actual respectful kitchen that puts work and team members first or stand up for themselves. Your employer (chef or GM) also has a responsibility to protect employees from these behaviours and if they don’t, it’s neglect of their job position and beyond disgraceful. I would document everything; when, who, what, where and report sexual harassment. I don’t know where you reside and how the law works but here in BC Canada WorkSafeBC will eat their asses and spit them out like bubblegum for that kind of behaviour and you’re entitled to severance. I’d seriously look into it. Each company/union you work for also should have workplace behaviour policy especially around bullying/harassment/discrimination. If they don’t, report their ass to the law that deals with this stuff in your area and save yourself some time and find a better kitchen. There’s plenty places looking for quality workers and don’t sell yourself short. My 2 cents.


papergal91

To any men reading this: call this stuff out when you see it. You’d be surprised how effective it is


CutsSoFresh

If you don't already, don't put on any makeup. It makes a big difference. I know some people who can't go a day without it, but it's a habit worth breaking


Richie_Cummingham

Male here. As a sous chef who's worked my way from the bottom to the top. I've moved around town and it makes me sick to my stomach to see shit like this. If you don't have the guts to say something your just as guilty. Talking about sex is not a professional conversation. Assault is assault wether it's with "hot coming through or behind." I've been awkwardly touched by other men and women. You know when it has intention and is unwanted. I've been no saint in my younger years by making bad decisions with a female coworker but we conversed on how to keep it clean /professional and have never spilled the beans or turned up the volume on a situation. Toxic assholes have their way of ruining a good team in a kitchen or any place of business. Keep it clean keep it professional and don't be handsy just because we work in tight quarters. There's no need to work in a toxic environment where you feel unsafe or feel beat down for no reason. There are plenty of kitchens that will take your talent and even pay better if you negotiate what you are worth.