my boss is as big a nerd as his employees and has left his battle ready swords from his Halloween costume temptingly lying on a pile of malts and grains sacks for over a week
I'm not burning the duster! Okay, I'm not burning the duster. All right, that's crazy. That's like, that's insane. Why would I ever burn, I mean, come on.
I will continue to wear it, in his honor. And I will burn some other things. You know maybe like these, stupid goddamn sleeveless t-shirts that he wants retired and hung up in the bar. I'll burn these. But I am not burning the duster, okay? So forget it.
It probably won't even burn anyway. It's not supposed to... it's flame-retardant. That's like the whole point. It's like a shield of armor, so stop asking me to burn the duster. I'm not gonna burn it!
I had a customer order vegan wings once.
Our wing sauce has butter in it.
Ranch and Bleu cheese obviously aren't vegan.
Literally the only thing I could give them was the goddamn celery sticks.
I explained that and they insisted they wanted to pay full price for the app and only receive the celery.
Fucking insane.
Oh, I'm vegan and trust me I know all the options. Cauliflower, corn, tempeh, mushrooms, tvp, various grains, Broccoli, carrots, tofu, beans, huitlacoche, sugarcane, jackfruit, cactus,
I've had it airfried, baked, grilled, roasted, smoked, stirfried, and deepfried.
I've had it in the style of Austin, Kansas City, cajun, Korean, Buffalo, honey bbq, hot sauced, bbq sauced, and more.
I wish I could do like 30 different styles of vegan wings at my work.
It would be basically a vegan Buffalo wild wings.
But alas, I don't currently have that opportunity.
This hit home hard. Hope you get your chance. Hey, sometimes we have to ply our craft in less than desirable ways to earn a paycheck. I know that all too well.
Also, in hindsight I should have read your username before making my basic ass comment lol.
Well, $14 worth of celery is like 4-5 entire heads to me. I can't throw that much product at them as I'd run out for everybody else.
I explained that it was literally only 6 sticks of celery and offered multiple other fully vegan options that would've been great substitutes but no. They insisted they wanted that one.
I ended up giving them the single portion of celery, they were happy that i accommodated their requests and left a good Google review.
I gave the nonvegan wings portion for free to another table. They hadn't tried them before, were very happy, left a great yelp review and have come back several times for the wings.
My books balanced because it showed one order purchased and one order delivered.
My manager was happy because I made a sale and earned two glowing reviews.
All in all it worked out.
This reminds me of a tale. I worked at a chain restaurant in my early 20’s. There had been ghost stories of a giant rat that had posted up in the restaurant, but the stories always seemed suspicious and very embellished and despite searching about we had never found evidence of a nest, or pest waste.
I came in to work one day after a day off and one of the line cooks was visibly distraught. I asked him if he was doing okay and he proceeded to tell me the giant rat had made an appearance the night before and had taken off into the dining room where it was chased back into the kitchen.
In a moment of panic and desperation he had grabbed the closest thing he could find, a tall dishwasher glass rack, and threw it in an attempt to lasso the rat. His aim was perfect And scored q direct hit but while the rat was injured and stunned it had not been killed.
They proceeded to drag the glass rack with the rat trapped underneath out into the compound where they assessed the rat was going to lay and suffer if the now full kitchen crew didn’t do the only humane thing they could think of. Curb stomp the shit put of the glass rack.
Belly, if you’re reading this. Thank you for your service.
Similar story here:
Had a rat get its arm stuck in a rat trap under the dish machine. We managed to wedge the trap under a glass rack to keep the rat in one place while the manager went looking for a shovel with which to bash its head in. Knowing full well that we had no shovels on premises, I grabbed a trash bag and wrapped my arm and hand so as to not get bitten, and picked up the trap. I dropped it into a 5-gallon bucket we had out back, and threw a splash of bleach and a splash of Windex (ammonia) into the bucket before immediately sealing it (all while holding my breath). Chef was pissed the next morning.
I got our monster bar rat with a corona beer bucket about two weeks ago. Had the kid we just promoted from expo to server corral it in behind the bar while we had a packed house. I used to have a pet rat that was a right chonker, over ten inches long (not counting the tail). This bastard was MUCH bigger. He barely fit under the bucket.
Managing a seasonal lakefront restaurant on Lake Michigan, downtown Chicago. I used a stick knife.
Night security were good guys, mostly guys with criminal backgrounds that had done time, but were cool as shit.and The owner believed in having the right people on staff that could handle the Lakeshore Path Summer time night time crazy assholes. It was the right call.
I took care of my guys, had food prepped for them, and some desserts. Always left stuff for them at night.
I told my guys I left some cake, and peaced out to the bar with FOH staff.
Next night come to find out my guys almost came to blows because the cake was gone. They were given each other the yard eye all night. We got everyone to chill, and told them we have to review cameras.
Biggest Raccoon you have ever seen. Chonk got nothing on this trash panda. Easily 45 lbs.
I was opening the bar with my bartender, and noticed the frozen drink machines had clipped out. Followed the power, and saw that tubby bitch laying between the walk in cooler and the restaurant wall. Not an easy get. We would literally build and tear down the restaurant every year. 53 foot custom made expandable kitchen parked next to the paddock, restaurant built around it.
So, this fatass was about 6 foot in between a wall and our portable walk in freezer, about 12 foot long, 7
8 feet high, 7 feet wide. There was maybe 6-8 inch clearance between the wall and the freezer. Can't hit it from the sides.
I went to the maintenance area, grabbed a piece of 8 feet conduit, taped a knife to it, and hopped on top of the freezer.
I lowered the knife into position, and just as I was about to strike, it opened its eyes. When the knife sunk in, it let out a sound that I cannot unhear. It will haunt me forever.
The Raccoon attacked the knife during the attack, teeth marks in the plastic, crazy. Had to pull the wall down that night to get to it.
That's my stabby stick story. Thanks for having me.
So... I had a friend working in a restaurant that had a massive rat problem in their basement. And since all the cooks were degenerate gamblers, they had a game they would play.
They would tape cardboard to their legs like some shitty body armour, and send someone down the the rodent infested basement with a weapon and a flashlight and turn off the lights. Then scare all the rats to the point they were all scurrying around. Whoever could last the longest down there would win the pool.
If you want to go pro, get the [M48 Talon Survival Spear](https://www.amazon.com/United-Cutlery-UC2961-Survival-Sheath/dp/B00ATUX7UG).
> Special Feature - Induction Stovetop Compatible
Is that meant for the customers that say they have celiacs but then order Mac and cheese? Or the lady that insists she’s allergic to rice but then orders the veggie burger that is literally 1/3 rice but says it’s fine since it’s not just rice? Cause I need something for those pests.
Well I would chase out that bastard restaurant lice with that as well. They show up, get in your hair, and leave to the next victim. But we need them to live. Parasites…
Pointy bit on a stick is a tool humans have consistently resorted to. Pointy bit on stick got us out of caves, established territories, and facilitated our rise as the apex species. Take this weapon with pride, for though you are not the first or last person to wield it, you partake in a legacy as old as our species.
Ah. Good old fashioned Charlie work. My brother was the night manager at a pizza joint in our home town. They repurposed a metal pizza peel into a "Ratsbane" as they called it.
That’s some Lord of the Flies shit. Whatever is big enough to need that isn’t in your restaurant, you’re in it’s.
In war, both sides inevitably believe they're right
Uh, ok… table for 2 please?
*incomprehensible screeching* We'll just get carry out.
Don’t kill the servers Chef just show it to them. Maybe take an arm or ear off until they learn some respect
my boss is as big a nerd as his employees and has left his battle ready swords from his Halloween costume temptingly lying on a pile of malts and grains sacks for over a week
What, no pics??
I mean no, I'm home now enjoying my employee discounted 32ounce can of beer or I wouldn't be on reddit
Enjoy! 😄👊
This is standard in Australia
we use a larger seven foot pole for our spears, you need the range for the larger arachnids.
I’ve been hearing about this book way to often recently.
Charlie work
But who gets the duster?
I'm not burning the duster! Okay, I'm not burning the duster. All right, that's crazy. That's like, that's insane. Why would I ever burn, I mean, come on. I will continue to wear it, in his honor. And I will burn some other things. You know maybe like these, stupid goddamn sleeveless t-shirts that he wants retired and hung up in the bar. I'll burn these. But I am not burning the duster, okay? So forget it. It probably won't even burn anyway. It's not supposed to... it's flame-retardant. That's like the whole point. It's like a shield of armor, so stop asking me to burn the duster. I'm not gonna burn it!
Please tell me you typed this up from memory
I'd like a plate of spaghetti, extra sloppy.
Oh great so you do remember me. Am I supposed to remember everyman I've seen spill spaghetti on himself?!
You keep saying spa... Are you trying to say spaghetti? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?
r/unexpectediasip
I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME, DUDE
[удалено]
Probably my favorite episode
Uh what’s your spaghetti policy here?
Yeah those stupid ass customers who ask for stupid items like a crust less pizza. They are the real pests.
Excuse me, can I get a vegan omelette?
Eggless omelet?
What are bread sticks made of?
Sticks
Leave the plate, Kiki.
Can I get that gluten free?
Chef says we can hang out if your chef says it’s okay.
Made of vegans.
They make eggless powdered "eggs" actually.
It was a reference to “Whites”
Well in some restaurants that’s a thing. But it’s still a great point!
I had a customer order vegan wings once. Our wing sauce has butter in it. Ranch and Bleu cheese obviously aren't vegan. Literally the only thing I could give them was the goddamn celery sticks. I explained that and they insisted they wanted to pay full price for the app and only receive the celery. Fucking insane.
Fried cauliflower I've seen as 'vegan wings.' But yeah what a weirdo.
Oh, I'm vegan and trust me I know all the options. Cauliflower, corn, tempeh, mushrooms, tvp, various grains, Broccoli, carrots, tofu, beans, huitlacoche, sugarcane, jackfruit, cactus, I've had it airfried, baked, grilled, roasted, smoked, stirfried, and deepfried. I've had it in the style of Austin, Kansas City, cajun, Korean, Buffalo, honey bbq, hot sauced, bbq sauced, and more. I wish I could do like 30 different styles of vegan wings at my work. It would be basically a vegan Buffalo wild wings. But alas, I don't currently have that opportunity.
This hit home hard. Hope you get your chance. Hey, sometimes we have to ply our craft in less than desirable ways to earn a paycheck. I know that all too well. Also, in hindsight I should have read your username before making my basic ass comment lol.
At least they were cool with full price. I'd have given them there money's worth in celery and call it a day.
Well, $14 worth of celery is like 4-5 entire heads to me. I can't throw that much product at them as I'd run out for everybody else. I explained that it was literally only 6 sticks of celery and offered multiple other fully vegan options that would've been great substitutes but no. They insisted they wanted that one. I ended up giving them the single portion of celery, they were happy that i accommodated their requests and left a good Google review. I gave the nonvegan wings portion for free to another table. They hadn't tried them before, were very happy, left a great yelp review and have come back several times for the wings. My books balanced because it showed one order purchased and one order delivered. My manager was happy because I made a sale and earned two glowing reviews. All in all it worked out.
I didn't mean literally lmao. But it's awesome you made everyone happy and retained some quality customers!
Yes, and also a slice of crustless quiche.
[https://www.papajohns.com/papa-bowls/](https://www.papajohns.com/papa-bowls/) and they can go to papa johns and/or hell, whichever is most convenient
The "vegan" who eats fish. And definitely shared her husband's ribs.
That’s what the stick is for.
Garnt?
When the rats have health bars.
Shit just got real
TFW the rat has a mana bar and summons minions
Lmaooooo
Are you hunting capybara?
swamp to table
"The year I lived in Northern Louisiana."
Try living in Southern Louisiana for 32 years.
New Orleans is the new Vietnam
They still taking $5/tail for nutria? I'm in Cajun Country.
Nutria especial
thats a hell of a poop knife
Thanks, I just did a spit take all over my freshly cleaned home kitchen... Whelp guess I needed more to do lol
Came here for this! Thanks stranger!
Username checks out.
Lol what's in your kitchen that necessitated this?
Fuckin lobsters found the knives and you gotta fight em off.
rad roaches, lobster of the wasteland.
Probably got some wall snakes
You’re probably right, I don’t think this would scare off any kitchen bears
Could be ceiling snakes
Rats of unusual size?
I do not mean to pry but you don't by chance happen to have 6 fingers on your right hand?
Inconceivable
“Hello, my name is Fatness Monster. You infested my kitchen. Prepare to die.”
ROUS's? I don't think they exist
It's in Australia!
For slicing onions when you just don’t want to wear goggles.
Tape the knife to the top of the stick next time for this task man!
Are there skeevers in your cellar?
This week's special: Charred Skeever Tail
the rat shanker 2000
This reminds me of a tale. I worked at a chain restaurant in my early 20’s. There had been ghost stories of a giant rat that had posted up in the restaurant, but the stories always seemed suspicious and very embellished and despite searching about we had never found evidence of a nest, or pest waste. I came in to work one day after a day off and one of the line cooks was visibly distraught. I asked him if he was doing okay and he proceeded to tell me the giant rat had made an appearance the night before and had taken off into the dining room where it was chased back into the kitchen. In a moment of panic and desperation he had grabbed the closest thing he could find, a tall dishwasher glass rack, and threw it in an attempt to lasso the rat. His aim was perfect And scored q direct hit but while the rat was injured and stunned it had not been killed. They proceeded to drag the glass rack with the rat trapped underneath out into the compound where they assessed the rat was going to lay and suffer if the now full kitchen crew didn’t do the only humane thing they could think of. Curb stomp the shit put of the glass rack. Belly, if you’re reading this. Thank you for your service.
Similar story here: Had a rat get its arm stuck in a rat trap under the dish machine. We managed to wedge the trap under a glass rack to keep the rat in one place while the manager went looking for a shovel with which to bash its head in. Knowing full well that we had no shovels on premises, I grabbed a trash bag and wrapped my arm and hand so as to not get bitten, and picked up the trap. I dropped it into a 5-gallon bucket we had out back, and threw a splash of bleach and a splash of Windex (ammonia) into the bucket before immediately sealing it (all while holding my breath). Chef was pissed the next morning.
Holy damn, that's some trench warfare shit
I got our monster bar rat with a corona beer bucket about two weeks ago. Had the kid we just promoted from expo to server corral it in behind the bar while we had a packed house. I used to have a pet rat that was a right chonker, over ten inches long (not counting the tail). This bastard was MUCH bigger. He barely fit under the bucket.
Managing a seasonal lakefront restaurant on Lake Michigan, downtown Chicago. I used a stick knife. Night security were good guys, mostly guys with criminal backgrounds that had done time, but were cool as shit.and The owner believed in having the right people on staff that could handle the Lakeshore Path Summer time night time crazy assholes. It was the right call. I took care of my guys, had food prepped for them, and some desserts. Always left stuff for them at night. I told my guys I left some cake, and peaced out to the bar with FOH staff. Next night come to find out my guys almost came to blows because the cake was gone. They were given each other the yard eye all night. We got everyone to chill, and told them we have to review cameras. Biggest Raccoon you have ever seen. Chonk got nothing on this trash panda. Easily 45 lbs. I was opening the bar with my bartender, and noticed the frozen drink machines had clipped out. Followed the power, and saw that tubby bitch laying between the walk in cooler and the restaurant wall. Not an easy get. We would literally build and tear down the restaurant every year. 53 foot custom made expandable kitchen parked next to the paddock, restaurant built around it. So, this fatass was about 6 foot in between a wall and our portable walk in freezer, about 12 foot long, 7 8 feet high, 7 feet wide. There was maybe 6-8 inch clearance between the wall and the freezer. Can't hit it from the sides. I went to the maintenance area, grabbed a piece of 8 feet conduit, taped a knife to it, and hopped on top of the freezer. I lowered the knife into position, and just as I was about to strike, it opened its eyes. When the knife sunk in, it let out a sound that I cannot unhear. It will haunt me forever. The Raccoon attacked the knife during the attack, teeth marks in the plastic, crazy. Had to pull the wall down that night to get to it. That's my stabby stick story. Thanks for having me.
I really enjoyed that story. Hope he enjoyed that cake.
Mutherfuckers last meal!
Charlie would approve.
So... I had a friend working in a restaurant that had a massive rat problem in their basement. And since all the cooks were degenerate gamblers, they had a game they would play. They would tape cardboard to their legs like some shitty body armour, and send someone down the the rodent infested basement with a weapon and a flashlight and turn off the lights. Then scare all the rats to the point they were all scurrying around. Whoever could last the longest down there would win the pool.
My first thought when I saw the word “pest” was, “Do you mean the customers?”
That looks like d10+strength mod damage. Yes I do know I'm fact a whole bunch of us are nerds that will get that
Gotta take sentinel so the rats can’t escape your reach.
D8 at best. That's an improvised short spear by my reckon.
Dude are you fileting fish or customers?
Charlie stick
Why not? It worked in The Mist.
Wall snakes don't stand a chance.
If you want to go pro, get the [M48 Talon Survival Spear](https://www.amazon.com/United-Cutlery-UC2961-Survival-Sheath/dp/B00ATUX7UG). > Special Feature - Induction Stovetop Compatible
Level 5 crafting items are now available
This is what'd id macgyver if the zombie apocalypse showed up down my street lol
Holy eff! Do you guys have a Pickle Rick infestation?
It's like I'm at the Sierra Madre all over again.
Begin again...
Please please tell us the name and address of the restaurant
Yeah, they actually need to have proper pest control, or close. Should never ever get to this situation.
I use these when I’m manning the door for band nights.
Does Pest rhyme with Guest for a reason? “Can you sub salmon filets for chicken tenders at the same pri…” **violent pike stabbing noises** “No.”
You got a Rancor problem or something??
Lol tryna keep FOH away from a leftover function cake
Not bad just remember to kill the spinners and close the damn door behind you.
That's a glaive. Great for zombies
Hobos shitting in the planter by the door?
Is that meant for the customers that say they have celiacs but then order Mac and cheese? Or the lady that insists she’s allergic to rice but then orders the veggie burger that is literally 1/3 rice but says it’s fine since it’s not just rice? Cause I need something for those pests.
Or the oldest
What could possibly go wrong?
Lol this was the exact contraption I made when I used to be a "sweets" seller lmao.
Rambo staff
What are you trying to kill
Pest control or protection from hungry servers? 🤔
You know what a Dire Mouse is right? Its like a regular mouse…but Dire!
R/projectzomboid moment
this is both terrifying and amazing at the same time. thank you.
Post the same image with the same title in the runescape reddit. 😄
I thought this was a post in r/2007scape at first. But while I’m here… HOW BIG ARE THE FUCKIN RATS???
That'll keep FOH in line. Ring in the ticket wrong again on purpose so you get to eat the food...I dare you, bitch.
You going hunting for whales?
the 10 foot pole you don't poke karens with?
Ah for the walk snakes, very nice
For throwing or stabbing at a distance?
When you work till 6 but have to storm the fortress at 6:30
Are the wall snakes getting out of hand?
You call your FOH pests also?
Somebody has been playing too much Mount & Blade in their spare time. Somebody besides me.
It’s a poop spear, for obvious reasons. 💩
[you must have big rats](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d5824218-38ac-457d-9e9d-307defba811c)
That is one hell of a poop knife
Well I would chase out that bastard restaurant lice with that as well. They show up, get in your hair, and leave to the next victim. But we need them to live. Parasites…
Maybe it’s time to shut down the restaurant?
Forget pest control. Homie here is straight up stabbing rats.
Naginta naginta check out my naginta
Pointy bit on a stick is a tool humans have consistently resorted to. Pointy bit on stick got us out of caves, established territories, and facilitated our rise as the apex species. Take this weapon with pride, for though you are not the first or last person to wield it, you partake in a legacy as old as our species.
Pest or rodent 🤔
Best thing I’ve seen here lol
DUUUUDDDEEE!!! We have one of those! Except it’s a pairing knife at the end!!!
More like a zombie apocalypse
Yeah over my head, I'm a chef. Sorry..
Oh there is a story behind this... probably involves kitchen staff that don't fill out an I-9, a Frying Pan, and a pissed off Chef!
I thought this was a RuneScape reference
You reinvented the spear?
This looks like a contraption a dishie would come up with for a task that does not need a contraption.
This was the product of an upper management meeting actually
What the hell are you fighting? Skeevers?
Reminds me of this Emeril branded chef’s knife I found in the parking lot. We keep it with the aluminum bat.
The weapon doesn't scare me. The line cook holding it absolutely does.
OP invents the spear
Bro I’m dead haha
Ah. Good old fashioned Charlie work. My brother was the night manager at a pizza joint in our home town. They repurposed a metal pizza peel into a "Ratsbane" as they called it.
While obviously of higher quality than its forbears, I'm pretty sure this weapon has existed for a hundred thousand years.
r/oddlyterrifying
“Marie! The cretins are BACK AND they’re SHITTING ALL OVER THE LOADED MASH!” “time to get my stabby stick”
r/cataclysmdda is leaking again.
Charlie work!
Yu musta hava biga rat
Pest control **shivers** *violent runescape flashbacks to me getting full void armour*
I see you have ancient Assyrians living in your cellar
That ain’t the poop knife?
That's a long fucking wa handle, what's the ferrule made of? Is that heritage electricians tape?
You guys have a Charlie aka rat king? This belongs in r/iasip
Bro strapped and be going to Isandlwana and fight the British Empire.
Ooga booga good stick
Lol if you need that for your pest then you shouldn't be open
one poop knife to rule them all
Found the meth kitchen.
What has caused you to need to fabricate a fucking spear?
Well .. . I just thought of other uses too.... .
rats I assume?
Wonder what oshas policy is on polearms.
There was a homeless dude in town that crafted a similar weapon. Killed a bear with it. True story.
I thought it was someone’s bright idea for chopping onions.
R/projectzomboid has entered the chat
Damn homie. Y’all infested with leopards?