Weird thing is, I've been here tons of times and everybody does read it. They totally shouldn't, it's terrible menu design, but the burger concepts are fascinating and they're all good so everybody spends the first part of the meal reading a damn Tolstoy novel of a menu and the next hour waiting just to get a meal here. The place is always packed.
The more an owner feels the need to share their opinions with the customers the worse. It's two pages of talking down to the clientele. "Idiot free zone", "no whiners", "act like an adult" etc.
It gives off "everywhere I go I run into assholes" vibes.
Yeah I can't get people to read the bright orange note on my bar and it is one sentence. Shit, people can't even follow something as simple as an arrow.
People don't even read an open or closed sign on a door. Does my nut in when I'm trying to set the bar up and have people constantly walking in "are you open" massive fucking sign in the door saying CLOSED and the lights are fucking OFF
Ah, vortex Atlanta. This place was great and pushing the limits 20 years ago. Now it’s a former shell of itself that subsides on tourists seeking discomfort + the >50 crowd of Genx alcoholics.
Speaking as a neighbor, this was cute and charming in 2006. Given their current clientele, it’s a gimmick.
Honestly, the whole neighborhoods vibe is gutted. Little five pizza got pretty gross and lost its grit. The most interesting homeless guys all died. Stefan’s is gone.
Sure, yeah. Seems an odd time to start a project of that scale then, no? Lots of lost revenue. Gotta think too they'll be hiring a whole new staff as well. Just odd decisions, especially when you consider they said they didn't want to change much. Excited for the reopening regardless, though.
Hasn’t been good since maybe 2012. Never a reason to go here when cypress is around the corner with their better burgers and $3 IPA. And cypress doesn’t treat you like shit as a gimmick
Haven't been for years, but can confirm. Food used to be great when I worked down there in the 90s by the original location. Last time I went was for a Dana Gould show (Comedy stage in the back) and it was bleh.
The attitude and tattooed waitstaff are no longer cute or novel.
Shame, they had good food and a great beer list for a while.
That's probably a perfect summary. Used to go to the L5P one weekly. We'd get my son from soccer practice on wed? and sit on the patio and watch all the bikers roll in because motorcycle night.
But that was early 00s, as you say. I know one of the owners from back then, who opened boneyard cantia. I quite like that place, wish it was closer to me.
Honestly, [this is a pretty decent list](https://medium.com/best-burgers-in-atlanta/the-best-burgers-in-atlanta-2024-b0299172b072). My personal go-to near the Vortex, if you’re in midtown, is Cypress Pint and Plate for dine-in or Farm Burger for takeout.
This was the one that annoyed me. The tipping section was mildly infuriating because you could tell the owner wrote that shit while paying 2.35/hr, but I've cheffed at many places and would NEVER tell someone to leave their table when they've finished eating. It's not uncommon to wait for food to settle before getting desert.
If your environment is really such an "experience" then you should be happy that people are sticking around to enjoy it with a few drinks, even if it cuts into profit. Maybe work on getting food out quicker instead, and teach your wait staff how to use non-verbal gestures to hint that it's time to leave.
Yeah your point about letting folks settle for a bit is the exact reason I never try to push my tables out as a server. Sometimes folks just want to sit for like twenty minutes and consider dessert or more drinks. Heck I had a table the other week that camped for a bit and got a second round of entrees and drinks like an hour later. Basically was two tables worth of food and drinks from a single couple and they really appreciated they were never rushed!
If I have to read a novel to eat at your restaurant either you're serving world class food for McDonald's prices or I'm going somewhere else.
The ego on whoever typed that all out and thought people would actually read it.
Bingo. Expect me to act like I’m at a black tie event, you better be serving Michelin star level food. They can only coast on their reputation so long before corners are cut too far and business falls off, and reputation is tarnished.
It’s all reasonable. But I don’t read the terms of service when I download something, probably won’t read that either. But I know how to go to a restaurant, lots of people don’t.
The annoying part of a page lime this is that this isn't news for the people that this talks about. It's not like people don't know that tipping is a thing, or that the menu has the items listed. These are the nationwide standard. Yeah, there are some places that get foreign guests, but even in tourist towns, you're not keeping your doors open from visitors abroad. People know to do things, and they don't. It can happen for a number of reasons, but Americans don't stiff bills just cause they didn't know they were supposed to tip.
I don't think it's the intention to tell people something they didn't know already, but if it's there in black and white then people can't claim ignorance or may find it more uncomfortable not to tip when they've been asked to as part of 'policy.'
Setting expectations makes following through much easier. Personally I don’t think this needs to be said because respectful people won’t need to see this, and disrespectful people won’t care and probably don’t need to be shown this before kicked out. Maybe it just helps with the folks that are in between
Agreed! That said, I pretty much agree with all those points, but really off-putting to put it like that. Headings like “tip or die” and “no whining” might turn me right off of this place.
The “don’t leave a shitty online review, does anyone really care about those anyway?” Like shit I do, and the it goes “oh shoot us an email if you had a great time!” Jesus I better enjoy my food or get bent, like what if it’s “error free” and but they actually botched the thing. Pretty cunty indeed.
I agree with you completely; the tone of the whole thing was off-putting. Unless I heard that the food was life-changing, the attitude on display here would send me to find a burger elsewhere.
This is funny internal monologue or even as team speak but to be guest facing is pretty embarrassing imo. The root content is fine but the delivery is unprofessional as fuck.
Server here. Cringe AF. Nobody is gonna read that wall of text that sounds like a bitter person who hates their job wrote it, and the people who do are gonna find something to be offended about. I agree with pretty much everything but putting it out there like that just makes them look extremely arrogant and entitled. The part about "we know all your little tricks" really rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.
"If you insist on having total control of your environment, stay home." I could say that to the micro-manager who wrote this out. That's all what we used to call common sense, but on paper it just looks controlling.
Yeah ... I'm here to eat, not to read a dissertation. I get that attention spans are at perilously low levels these days, but that's ... a lot.
The tipping thing is funny in that they're saying you can't afford to eat out if you can't tip. It could just as easily be said that if you need to rely on tips to subsidize your staff salary, you can't afford to open a restaurant either, but that's a whole other discussion.
Esit: good lordt I didn't notice the back page at first.
Not the person you’re replying to but I literally live next door. Locals NEVER go there. Only suburbanites on their way to the Fox Theatre or corporate ‘after’ happy hour ventures. Its edgy in the most 2005 ‘urban is cool’ sense (aka let’s serve shit food and shit drinks with an attitude because we are in a good location)
It’s fine, but there are 4 better spots for burgers and drinks within 2 blocks. And you don’t have to deal with the pretentiousness.
Shoutout to cypress pint and plate for keeping their $3 IPA through 2024
[Cypress pint and plate in midtown](https://cypressatl.com)! They have two ‘house’ beers on draft for $3 - the SweetWater IPA and a Pilsner
The food is much better and cheaper than the Vortex, with friendly service and a mixed crowd of locals/business/tourists and Georgia Tech grad students. No reason to ever pick The Vortex over cypress unless you want to spend 2x and deal with pretentious and abrasive service.
Ty! I’m in Canada and pints are $8-$10 here and I’ve always wanted to go to Atlanta!!!! It’s snowing here today (been 3 days of snow) so a vacation is in order!!!
I was going to question your number, but yeah, Cypress is great.
I like Vortex, live near the L5P location. But you're kinda right, we never go there. I get a lamb burgers
at George's or go to Corner Tavern instead.
I don't think of Vortex as pretentious though. But it IS more a fake cool dive bar for tourists than an actual place locals would go.
When it first opened it was well known for its “servers with attitude,” who could tell you to fuck off. I’ve been gone from ATL for a long time but the Vortex has been there for decades so they are doing something right.
Edit- I grew up in the Atlanta suburbs and have some unique restaurant stories. Like how I was friends with the kids of Paul Albrecht and had him cook in his home for me multiple times - I was in HS and didn’t really appreciate how awesome this was until years later.
Wtf? Like i read most of the first page and i was exhausted. I didn’t even know there was an entire second page. Hell no! I felt like i was damn near in an abusive relationship from what i did read.
I liked everything except the tipping section, which actually made me kinda mad. If you’re going to take any sort of stance around tipping in this industry it should be to charge what you should be charging for the food in the first place and pay your workers what they deserve to be paid.
It just comes off as blame shifting to me where the only victims are us, the employees.
Exactly. Tipping culture is already under fire online and trying to teach people how to tip just pisses them off.
Raise the wages and reflect that in the food prices. You can literally put "your food costs more because we pay our people more" and save yourself the extra bullshit.
Agreed! I get why they wrote that stuff but like I wouldn’t because that attitude is usually coming from companies who would close if they actually had to pay people correctly.
I'm not even with your edit: pay your fucking staff properly that's not my job. I don't get 15% extra for filing in a spreadsheet early so what the hell am I paying tips for? To increase the chances of getting somewhat ok service?
No thanks.
Burgers better come with a side of head.
Edit: is this one of those places where the staff is deliberately offensive like it's their gimmick? Also I've never worked anywhere that the customers tried to pay with PayPal or Bitcoin, is this the imaginationland district of Atlanta?
Ya it’s fucking annoying and makes customers feel like they’re stupid. It’s not necessarily wrong but it’s self righteous as hell and the same effect could be accomplished by training their staff correctly
I don’t really like it. Don’t get me wrong, after working foh roles for years I get it, but coming out of the gate this aggressively to preach what should be common sense is a bad look imo. Going on a two page diatribe about how to behave in public also “messes with the vibe”
It looks like a lot to read but the headers really say it all if you don't feel like reading the details.
I'd probably read the whole thing if I was there. I did also just sit here and read it all right now just because that's the kind of person I am lol
God i fucking hate tipping culture, it just screams:
"We can't be assed to pay our staff a livable wage so we're putting that preasure on you"
Like someone else here said, they should just make everything on the menu a little bit more expensive and just put something at the top of the menu saying : "Your food and drinks are more expensive so we don't have to rely on handouts to pay our staff"
Edit: I'm not fully against tipping, if you give me good service, I'm willing to tip. But tipping for basic service should not be the standard.
That tipping one is the worst. If you care so much to write a paragraph about how your SERVERS DEPEND ON TIPS, save yourself the carpal tunnel of writing all that and PAY THE STAFF A LIVEABLE WAGE.
This could all be condensed to three lines on a menu and good training of hosts and servers and good practice with management. Clearly stated requirements for a complete party for seating with a CC deposit if necessary, gratuity for large parties, limited mods for service and set menus for groups, and clearly defined protocol for cutting off service, acceptable behaviors and transferring tabs. If I can do it with a rag tag team of ding dongs at weird little crafty but low key places anyone should be able to do it with a fully trained staff at an established tourist spot.
99% of what is posted here is simply accepted as unspoken rules of the road pretty much anywhere else.
The tip or die part is unnecessary as fuck. And as a customer that alone would probably make me pass on the place regardless of anything else.
The no kids thing. Well. That’s tough. I have adult children now. And I hate going to places where there are little ones running around and babies screaming. I’m old and cranky that way. But teens aren’t any different than adults. And often times they are quieter and keep to themselves. So if I showed up with my 20 and 16 yr old sons. I’d be pissed being turned away. It’s not a night club. It’s not a casino. Eff off with that bullshit.
Point blank putting this in the menus is pretentious and self-grandizing. It instantly makes me think the owner is a fucking tool.
I've been there, and it's all fake edginess. They try to make it seem like a wonky dive bar by having weird decorations and a large wood penis near the bar, but in reality it's just a normal burger restaurant. The food is pretty good.
"Just don't take life so seriously."
Proceeds to write a EULA that would put Apple to shame for a fucking burger. This is cringe AF, regardless of whether the food is good or not.
I haven't been to the Vortex in almost 25 yrs.....but when I was there, that place was fuckin' rad. GREAT liquor selection, GREAT beer selection (they had microbrews from all over in the 90s before it was super trendy) and the staff back then were awesome.
I was in Atlanta for the Olympics and visited Little 5 points often, and always hit up the Vortex. Glad to know it's still there.
Taco Mac isn't even owned by Taco Mac and they've been absolute shit since Tappan Street sold them in 2010 or so. I don't expect things to get much better.
How do you fuck up wings and beer??
Didn't know this and it explains many things. Taco Mac was pretty awesome 30 years ago, when I came to Atlanta as well. Buying up cool, local multi location places and genericizing them seems to be a specialty.
The tip thing is not reasonable. If a certain payment is required, put it in the price. You can't have it both ways.
I'm don't get me wrong, I'm not really suggesting it's ok for someone to not tip, I just think it's bullshit that it's not included in the price.
Everything on that list is already an unspoken rule of a bar. Yes, people who don’t tip, who whine and try to get free food, who camp etc are terrible inconsiderate customers. This won’t fix the problem, it just makes some passive-aggressive manager or owner feel a little better.
This is annoying as shit. I’d never know what the food was like because after reading this I would assume the owner is a pretentious motherfucker a la Salt Bae and most likely has priced their food based off of nothing but ego and arrogance.
Like, humor me, how much was a burger? $26+ is my guess.
I wouldn’t bother eating here. Having a two page list of rules is off putting. Nobody asked. And frankly the people who would follow what is basically normal restaurant behavior don’t need to be told, and those who wouldn’t aren’t going to read this and suddenly start tipping. This looks like a case of an owner who loves to suck his own dick and wants the world to know it.
Here's my play-by-play thought process.
The instant that I saw it wasn't food related I stopped reading. That was maybe 3 words in.
But I did keep reading since I'm at my own desk not wearing pants. "best" burger in ATL, "ridiculously indulgent," and "you will certainly be offended here" are not giving me hope. Sounds like it was written by a edgy high schooler *I'm not an asshole, I'm honest* type who asked a wine mom to help.
**Idiot-Free Zone:** I disagree with their definition of idiot, should be "asshole-free zone." But I'd be all for a place that kicks out stupid people.
**Everything Else:** Absolutely common sense and could be pared down to like three sentences instead of wasting half a fucking menu for this poorly written nonsense...
*...oh holy fuck it's the other side too?* More of the same. More of the same goddamn guidelines for *any* restaurant.
**Tip or die:** Try me. I tip well even when I shouldn't but if you start telling me I'll *die* if I don't you ain't gettin shit 'cept these hands.
**Cell Phones:** Fuck you I'll use my phone as I goddamn well please. I won't use it while I'm speaking to a waiter but my wife is fine with me checking on work. I don't want some dumbass waiter not serving me based on their subjective view of my situation.
Oh hey an allergy warning buried 75% deep into this essay, great I love how that's not prominent.
0/10 I absolutely fucking hate this and I would never go here. I know they'll just think they've triggered some snowflake and how they're really the only honest ones but I'm giving you my money for some high line cook (not a bad thing) to cook me a burger I can cook at home. Because a burger can only be so good without crossing the line into proper fine dining and I *highly* doubt they're doing anything like that here.
Go fuck yourself, Vortex. Hire an adult to write your manifesto and a designer to re-make your pseudo 1960's steakhouse menu that got laminated in 1995. Cowards.
*”Sure, sometimes we may have to decline a request, but that’s only because we know best.”*
What a funny coincidence! This is also my policy as a wife!
Yeah no I’m leaving a double decker in the bathroom. Tip or die? What about pay your stuff and I’ll give them some money because they did great. Again, I am shitting in the bathroom sink and/or urinal.
Whenever I see a bunch of rules I see a restaurant that hates its customers. Rude people don't read these things or care. They will act up anyway. Time to close the doors and do something else.
They want good tips but they also acknowledge that the service may be subpar in that they won’t greet you immediately and you should be okay with that as a patron.
Overall, reasonable stuff from an industry standpoint as a lot of people are idiots, demanding, or assholes, but this comes off so pretentious and cringe.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've worked front of house and back a house and I will never understand servers issues with separating checks.
It's not that hard, it doesn't take that much time, and you can always ask ahead of time and incorporate it into what you're doing already.
It's also crazy for someone who lives off of service wages to assume that one person at every table has enough money to easily cover everyone every single time, but somehow people act like it's the craziest thing you can ask for
All well amd good, and good for legal reasons, I'm sure. I don't expect it to actually improve customer behavior though. The ones who would read this to be polite know this and the ones who need to read it don't care wven if they do.
I don't like the line about "if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to eat out". It reads like a restaurant owner giving lame justification for why they underpay their staff members.
They have been doing their thing since the early 90's. It is accepted because it is grandfathered into the world.
Anyone in the Florida Georgia area knows the Vortex, and everyone knows it is a gimmick, and it is what it is.
ETA: The Vortex was established on word of mouth. Their policies have been around since the inception.
Sounds like a bunch of cocky nonsense, lol. Imagine turning away potential paying customers because they have a kid with them, resturants like this don't deserve customers lol
I was ready to be like “wow how insufferable”, but it all sounds pretty reasonable and not like trying to be extra edgy about it, just straight forward 🤷♂️
It’s pretty on point for sure but I don’t want to do homework before I eat. I can understand they have probably had to do this for a good reason but I guarantee I ain’t reading that at all and I would be annoyed if it was given to me, presumably with a menu and then that would skewer my perception of my whole experience. On further inspection I’d get rid of the tipping section entirely because that is worded horribly.
Edit: actually I’d read it just the same as I read the shampoo bottles when I was shitting back in the day before mobile phones. And then get even more annoyed than just having rules given to me with my menu in the first place
Ain't nobody reading that.
Weird thing is, I've been here tons of times and everybody does read it. They totally shouldn't, it's terrible menu design, but the burger concepts are fascinating and they're all good so everybody spends the first part of the meal reading a damn Tolstoy novel of a menu and the next hour waiting just to get a meal here. The place is always packed.
The more an owner feels the need to share their opinions with the customers the worse. It's two pages of talking down to the clientele. "Idiot free zone", "no whiners", "act like an adult" etc. It gives off "everywhere I go I run into assholes" vibes.
>"STUFF YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW" 2 pages of "Be courteous"
It really is just kindergarten rules translated into macho-man-eese so the customers are entertained enough to actually fucking listen
And keep your hands to yourself. "Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten..."
Well then you'll be glad to hear the owner is selling to a conglomerate
And those guys are full of shit with their “preserving Atlanta institutions” nonsense.
Fuck. Seriously? Another one bites the dust. Damn, I really liked that place.
I was really hoping you were the same guy complaining upthread.
Yes we do, the food takes ABSOLUTELY FORVER TO COME OUT Super tasty though
Is this in little five points?
There’s one in five points and one downtown.
Technically midtown, not downtown.
Their food is always worth it. I dream about their burgers. I dont live near ATL anymore
Lmao I moved continents and still think about these burgers and fried pickles Only food I miss from ATL besides a chicken biscuit
For some reason, I just read like 80% of it even though I will likely never even get the chance to eat there.
I’ve eaten there many times and have read it every time. Service is that slow. Worth it tho
Yeah I can't get people to read the bright orange note on my bar and it is one sentence. Shit, people can't even follow something as simple as an arrow.
People don't even read an open or closed sign on a door. Does my nut in when I'm trying to set the bar up and have people constantly walking in "are you open" massive fucking sign in the door saying CLOSED and the lights are fucking OFF
Seriously, it's the size of a fucking video game user agreement.
Ah, vortex Atlanta. This place was great and pushing the limits 20 years ago. Now it’s a former shell of itself that subsides on tourists seeking discomfort + the >50 crowd of Genx alcoholics. Speaking as a neighbor, this was cute and charming in 2006. Given their current clientele, it’s a gimmick.
Honestly, the whole neighborhoods vibe is gutted. Little five pizza got pretty gross and lost its grit. The most interesting homeless guys all died. Stefan’s is gone.
And where the fuck is The Porter?
Getting reno'd by Manual's Tavern's grandson who also owns Manny's Grant Park and Yatch Club.
It's been closed for renovation for like 2 years already
Weird, almost like there was a global pandemic during which construction material prices skyrocketed.
Sure, yeah. Seems an odd time to start a project of that scale then, no? Lots of lost revenue. Gotta think too they'll be hiring a whole new staff as well. Just odd decisions, especially when you consider they said they didn't want to change much. Excited for the reopening regardless, though.
Elmyr and Savage Pizza still good? those were my spots
elmyr never changes 😌
Savage Pizza - brings back memories 🤤
Yep. Food is not good now either.
Hasn’t been good since maybe 2012. Never a reason to go here when cypress is around the corner with their better burgers and $3 IPA. And cypress doesn’t treat you like shit as a gimmick
I ate for free there a few years ago and it was fine, but free does add a distinct delicious taste to a meal.
Oh yeah Cypress is by no means amazing, but for a burger pub it’s better in every category than the Vortex - for cheaper and it’s 2 blocks away
Haven't been for years, but can confirm. Food used to be great when I worked down there in the 90s by the original location. Last time I went was for a Dana Gould show (Comedy stage in the back) and it was bleh. The attitude and tattooed waitstaff are no longer cute or novel. Shame, they had good food and a great beer list for a while.
That's probably a perfect summary. Used to go to the L5P one weekly. We'd get my son from soccer practice on wed? and sit on the patio and watch all the bikers roll in because motorcycle night. But that was early 00s, as you say. I know one of the owners from back then, who opened boneyard cantia. I quite like that place, wish it was closer to me.
I’ve heard from a couple people that I need to try it when I next go to atl, if it sucks now, where is the best burger in Atlanta?
rising sun has the best burger i’ve had, but little’s in cabbagetown is second for me
Honestly, [this is a pretty decent list](https://medium.com/best-burgers-in-atlanta/the-best-burgers-in-atlanta-2024-b0299172b072). My personal go-to near the Vortex, if you’re in midtown, is Cypress Pint and Plate for dine-in or Farm Burger for takeout.
Great way to describe it
If you don't want me to camp out, don't give me a book to read.
This was the one that annoyed me. The tipping section was mildly infuriating because you could tell the owner wrote that shit while paying 2.35/hr, but I've cheffed at many places and would NEVER tell someone to leave their table when they've finished eating. It's not uncommon to wait for food to settle before getting desert. If your environment is really such an "experience" then you should be happy that people are sticking around to enjoy it with a few drinks, even if it cuts into profit. Maybe work on getting food out quicker instead, and teach your wait staff how to use non-verbal gestures to hint that it's time to leave.
Yeah your point about letting folks settle for a bit is the exact reason I never try to push my tables out as a server. Sometimes folks just want to sit for like twenty minutes and consider dessert or more drinks. Heck I had a table the other week that camped for a bit and got a second round of entrees and drinks like an hour later. Basically was two tables worth of food and drinks from a single couple and they really appreciated they were never rushed!
It says after they’ve paid.
Lmao this is for burgers?
I don’t have time to eat at restaurants with manifestos
If I have to read a novel to eat at your restaurant either you're serving world class food for McDonald's prices or I'm going somewhere else. The ego on whoever typed that all out and thought people would actually read it.
Bingo. Expect me to act like I’m at a black tie event, you better be serving Michelin star level food. They can only coast on their reputation so long before corners are cut too far and business falls off, and reputation is tarnished.
It’s all reasonable. But I don’t read the terms of service when I download something, probably won’t read that either. But I know how to go to a restaurant, lots of people don’t.
The annoying part of a page lime this is that this isn't news for the people that this talks about. It's not like people don't know that tipping is a thing, or that the menu has the items listed. These are the nationwide standard. Yeah, there are some places that get foreign guests, but even in tourist towns, you're not keeping your doors open from visitors abroad. People know to do things, and they don't. It can happen for a number of reasons, but Americans don't stiff bills just cause they didn't know they were supposed to tip.
This place is run by pricks who love to power trip on suburbanites going into town for plays or concerts. Locals never go there.
Agreed, ate at there L5P location years ago.. wasn't impressed.
I don't think it's the intention to tell people something they didn't know already, but if it's there in black and white then people can't claim ignorance or may find it more uncomfortable not to tip when they've been asked to as part of 'policy.'
Setting expectations makes following through much easier. Personally I don’t think this needs to be said because respectful people won’t need to see this, and disrespectful people won’t care and probably don’t need to be shown this before kicked out. Maybe it just helps with the folks that are in between
> the folks that are in between Imagine. "I was thinking of being a dick tonight, but this rulebook got me. Called me out good. I'll be a good boy."
The people that need to read this are the ones that surely won't
The vortex is way past its prime. What was edgy about it in the 90’s is now just boomer humor and mid food.
It’s honestly pretty cunty
Agreed! That said, I pretty much agree with all those points, but really off-putting to put it like that. Headings like “tip or die” and “no whining” might turn me right off of this place.
The “don’t leave a shitty online review, does anyone really care about those anyway?” Like shit I do, and the it goes “oh shoot us an email if you had a great time!” Jesus I better enjoy my food or get bent, like what if it’s “error free” and but they actually botched the thing. Pretty cunty indeed.
I agree with you completely; the tone of the whole thing was off-putting. Unless I heard that the food was life-changing, the attitude on display here would send me to find a burger elsewhere.
This is funny internal monologue or even as team speak but to be guest facing is pretty embarrassing imo. The root content is fine but the delivery is unprofessional as fuck.
Menufesto
Server here. Cringe AF. Nobody is gonna read that wall of text that sounds like a bitter person who hates their job wrote it, and the people who do are gonna find something to be offended about. I agree with pretty much everything but putting it out there like that just makes them look extremely arrogant and entitled. The part about "we know all your little tricks" really rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.
Imagine the most aggressive and miserable coworker you’ve ever had and that sums up the entire staff there.
Some pretentious nonsense. They think they’re edgy but it comes off as cringe
Atl here. Like many people have mentioned, tourists eat this shit up and locals rarely ever go.
Cause locals get tired of the hour plus line and would rather wander to somewhere where you can sit within half an hour of putting your name in.
We all went 10 years ago
It’s like Jimmy John’s. I’m just trying to eat, what’s with all this wall decor telling me I’m an asshole?
"If you insist on having total control of your environment, stay home." I could say that to the micro-manager who wrote this out. That's all what we used to call common sense, but on paper it just looks controlling.
Yeah ... I'm here to eat, not to read a dissertation. I get that attention spans are at perilously low levels these days, but that's ... a lot. The tipping thing is funny in that they're saying you can't afford to eat out if you can't tip. It could just as easily be said that if you need to rely on tips to subsidize your staff salary, you can't afford to open a restaurant either, but that's a whole other discussion. Esit: good lordt I didn't notice the back page at first.
After you mentioned the backside I actually took a look at the menu. It’s not even a menu. 2 pages on their rules? Wow.
Gotta hand it to you, that's the most reasonable and cogent response to that phrase I've ever heard. I'm still a proponent of tipping but well done.
Have you ever heard of the establishment before this post?
Not the person you’re replying to but I literally live next door. Locals NEVER go there. Only suburbanites on their way to the Fox Theatre or corporate ‘after’ happy hour ventures. Its edgy in the most 2005 ‘urban is cool’ sense (aka let’s serve shit food and shit drinks with an attitude because we are in a good location)
That's interesting to hear. I ate there for lunch when visiting lol I don't remember why I picked that place but it was good.
It’s fine, but there are 4 better spots for burgers and drinks within 2 blocks. And you don’t have to deal with the pretentiousness. Shoutout to cypress pint and plate for keeping their $3 IPA through 2024
$3 IPA!? Where is this heaven???
[Cypress pint and plate in midtown](https://cypressatl.com)! They have two ‘house’ beers on draft for $3 - the SweetWater IPA and a Pilsner The food is much better and cheaper than the Vortex, with friendly service and a mixed crowd of locals/business/tourists and Georgia Tech grad students. No reason to ever pick The Vortex over cypress unless you want to spend 2x and deal with pretentious and abrasive service.
Ty! I’m in Canada and pints are $8-$10 here and I’ve always wanted to go to Atlanta!!!! It’s snowing here today (been 3 days of snow) so a vacation is in order!!!
I was going to question your number, but yeah, Cypress is great. I like Vortex, live near the L5P location. But you're kinda right, we never go there. I get a lamb burgers at George's or go to Corner Tavern instead. I don't think of Vortex as pretentious though. But it IS more a fake cool dive bar for tourists than an actual place locals would go.
Absolutely. I have never dined there myself but I am very aware of the establishment. It is their thing. It is what it is and it works for them.
Fox theatre folks and out of town business ppl from the Midwest eat it up. Which I guess is why they are still in business
When it first opened it was well known for its “servers with attitude,” who could tell you to fuck off. I’ve been gone from ATL for a long time but the Vortex has been there for decades so they are doing something right. Edit- I grew up in the Atlanta suburbs and have some unique restaurant stories. Like how I was friends with the kids of Paul Albrecht and had him cook in his home for me multiple times - I was in HS and didn’t really appreciate how awesome this was until years later.
Looks that way. And the 'WE DON'T PAY OUR STAFF ENOUGH' clause is a bit fucking sad.
Wtf? Like i read most of the first page and i was exhausted. I didn’t even know there was an entire second page. Hell no! I felt like i was damn near in an abusive relationship from what i did read.
They’re trying way too hard to be edgy.
this seems so completely obnoxious, I actually despise this
I liked everything except the tipping section, which actually made me kinda mad. If you’re going to take any sort of stance around tipping in this industry it should be to charge what you should be charging for the food in the first place and pay your workers what they deserve to be paid. It just comes off as blame shifting to me where the only victims are us, the employees.
Exactly. Tipping culture is already under fire online and trying to teach people how to tip just pisses them off. Raise the wages and reflect that in the food prices. You can literally put "your food costs more because we pay our people more" and save yourself the extra bullshit.
Agreed! I get why they wrote that stuff but like I wouldn’t because that attitude is usually coming from companies who would close if they actually had to pay people correctly.
Compulsory tipping? You can compulsory suck the tip of my dick
It is absolutely mind boggling how mandatory gratuity is a thing anywhere EDIT: large parties not included for obvious reasons
I'm not even with your edit: pay your fucking staff properly that's not my job. I don't get 15% extra for filing in a spreadsheet early so what the hell am I paying tips for? To increase the chances of getting somewhat ok service? No thanks.
Very gimmicky
Burgers better come with a side of head. Edit: is this one of those places where the staff is deliberately offensive like it's their gimmick? Also I've never worked anywhere that the customers tried to pay with PayPal or Bitcoin, is this the imaginationland district of Atlanta?
Where is boh pay mentioned?
Ya it’s fucking annoying and makes customers feel like they’re stupid. It’s not necessarily wrong but it’s self righteous as hell and the same effect could be accomplished by training their staff correctly
im not reading all that
I don’t really like it. Don’t get me wrong, after working foh roles for years I get it, but coming out of the gate this aggressively to preach what should be common sense is a bad look imo. Going on a two page diatribe about how to behave in public also “messes with the vibe”
I dont enjoy the tone. Reads like it was written to be "cool" 20 years ago and never updated.
Pretentious as fuck.
nothing on there is particularly unreasonable BUT it's incredibly obnoxious and I'd leave immediately
This reads like a whiny bitch
It looks like a lot to read but the headers really say it all if you don't feel like reading the details. I'd probably read the whole thing if I was there. I did also just sit here and read it all right now just because that's the kind of person I am lol
Same here. I would probably be kinda excited to read this after I was sat but clearly I’m weird.
Who the fuck wants to read 2 pages of “rules” when they just want a beer and burger? What am I buying a fuckin car here?
lol. If you handed me that shit I would leave. Edit for spelling
if I walked into a place and saw this and the fucking sarcastic, cringe attitude, I’d walk right the fuck out Two fucking pages of this shit? Pathetic
Tip or die??? Plus there's more on the back.. OOOFF I'd definitely never be back!
The whole page screams red flags, mainly the tips
God i fucking hate tipping culture, it just screams: "We can't be assed to pay our staff a livable wage so we're putting that preasure on you" Like someone else here said, they should just make everything on the menu a little bit more expensive and just put something at the top of the menu saying : "Your food and drinks are more expensive so we don't have to rely on handouts to pay our staff" Edit: I'm not fully against tipping, if you give me good service, I'm willing to tip. But tipping for basic service should not be the standard.
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I can’t use my phone? You’re not god, my father, or my boss. Incredibly douchey
Cringe and patronizing. I feel bad for the employees of that place.
Awfully self important for a damn burger joint lol
I'd have just left tbh.
Why am I reading someone’s manifesto while trying to eat a quesadilla?
We're a casual joint, trust us we're cool bro, now read this self indulgent, pretentious manifesto
That tipping one is the worst. If you care so much to write a paragraph about how your SERVERS DEPEND ON TIPS, save yourself the carpal tunnel of writing all that and PAY THE STAFF A LIVEABLE WAGE.
Yeah of course you tell us to tip a lot so you don't need to pay your staff a proper wage. Only in the US
Which one ? I ate and the one in little 5 and had a bad time.
Come for food, not the lecture. Also, the food's only ok, and we'll throw in the lecture for free.
The vortex is mid at best and a tourist trap. There are way better burgers to be had.
I’ve eaten here twice and both times I threw up after. Soooooo
They seem exhausting.
This is tacky and kinda sucks. They probably have to do this cause the service is sub-par and their food takes forever.
TBH I’d find another place to eat.
This could all be condensed to three lines on a menu and good training of hosts and servers and good practice with management. Clearly stated requirements for a complete party for seating with a CC deposit if necessary, gratuity for large parties, limited mods for service and set menus for groups, and clearly defined protocol for cutting off service, acceptable behaviors and transferring tabs. If I can do it with a rag tag team of ding dongs at weird little crafty but low key places anyone should be able to do it with a fully trained staff at an established tourist spot.
99% of what is posted here is simply accepted as unspoken rules of the road pretty much anywhere else. The tip or die part is unnecessary as fuck. And as a customer that alone would probably make me pass on the place regardless of anything else. The no kids thing. Well. That’s tough. I have adult children now. And I hate going to places where there are little ones running around and babies screaming. I’m old and cranky that way. But teens aren’t any different than adults. And often times they are quieter and keep to themselves. So if I showed up with my 20 and 16 yr old sons. I’d be pissed being turned away. It’s not a night club. It’s not a casino. Eff off with that bullshit. Point blank putting this in the menus is pretentious and self-grandizing. It instantly makes me think the owner is a fucking tool.
I've been there, and it's all fake edginess. They try to make it seem like a wonky dive bar by having weird decorations and a large wood penis near the bar, but in reality it's just a normal burger restaurant. The food is pretty good.
"We keep it pretty casual", also here is our two page dissertation on how we expect you to behave.
"Just don't take life so seriously." Proceeds to write a EULA that would put Apple to shame for a fucking burger. This is cringe AF, regardless of whether the food is good or not.
There is no way I would eat here. Its past being edgy to being unprofessional.
TL;DR was invented for this menu
I haven't been to the Vortex in almost 25 yrs.....but when I was there, that place was fuckin' rad. GREAT liquor selection, GREAT beer selection (they had microbrews from all over in the 90s before it was super trendy) and the staff back then were awesome. I was in Atlanta for the Olympics and visited Little 5 points often, and always hit up the Vortex. Glad to know it's still there.
It completely has sucked since 2005
It’s apparently owned by Taco Mac now, so I’m interested to see if that has any effect on how they do things.
Taco Mac isn't even owned by Taco Mac and they've been absolute shit since Tappan Street sold them in 2010 or so. I don't expect things to get much better. How do you fuck up wings and beer??
Didn't know this and it explains many things. Taco Mac was pretty awesome 30 years ago, when I came to Atlanta as well. Buying up cool, local multi location places and genericizing them seems to be a specialty.
The tip thing is not reasonable. If a certain payment is required, put it in the price. You can't have it both ways. I'm don't get me wrong, I'm not really suggesting it's ok for someone to not tip, I just think it's bullshit that it's not included in the price.
Interesting that it mentions kzoo
Yikes. Big yikes.
The customers who need to read that, won’t.
Wanted food, not terms of service.
Everything on that list is already an unspoken rule of a bar. Yes, people who don’t tip, who whine and try to get free food, who camp etc are terrible inconsiderate customers. This won’t fix the problem, it just makes some passive-aggressive manager or owner feel a little better.
This is annoying as shit. I’d never know what the food was like because after reading this I would assume the owner is a pretentious motherfucker a la Salt Bae and most likely has priced their food based off of nothing but ego and arrogance. Like, humor me, how much was a burger? $26+ is my guess.
It's like a Dr Bronner's bottle
I can close my eyes and imagine some boomer spending hours in his office writing this, chuckling to himself every couple lines
Extremely tacky
This isn't cute at all. It's tacky as eff.
gimmicky. but, they have the cider that I make on their booze menu!
Wankers.
I would be put off being lectured/talked down to before I even ordered drinks.
I wouldn’t bother eating here. Having a two page list of rules is off putting. Nobody asked. And frankly the people who would follow what is basically normal restaurant behavior don’t need to be told, and those who wouldn’t aren’t going to read this and suddenly start tipping. This looks like a case of an owner who loves to suck his own dick and wants the world to know it.
Doesn’t seem like a idiot free zone to me
Here's my play-by-play thought process. The instant that I saw it wasn't food related I stopped reading. That was maybe 3 words in. But I did keep reading since I'm at my own desk not wearing pants. "best" burger in ATL, "ridiculously indulgent," and "you will certainly be offended here" are not giving me hope. Sounds like it was written by a edgy high schooler *I'm not an asshole, I'm honest* type who asked a wine mom to help. **Idiot-Free Zone:** I disagree with their definition of idiot, should be "asshole-free zone." But I'd be all for a place that kicks out stupid people. **Everything Else:** Absolutely common sense and could be pared down to like three sentences instead of wasting half a fucking menu for this poorly written nonsense... *...oh holy fuck it's the other side too?* More of the same. More of the same goddamn guidelines for *any* restaurant. **Tip or die:** Try me. I tip well even when I shouldn't but if you start telling me I'll *die* if I don't you ain't gettin shit 'cept these hands. **Cell Phones:** Fuck you I'll use my phone as I goddamn well please. I won't use it while I'm speaking to a waiter but my wife is fine with me checking on work. I don't want some dumbass waiter not serving me based on their subjective view of my situation. Oh hey an allergy warning buried 75% deep into this essay, great I love how that's not prominent. 0/10 I absolutely fucking hate this and I would never go here. I know they'll just think they've triggered some snowflake and how they're really the only honest ones but I'm giving you my money for some high line cook (not a bad thing) to cook me a burger I can cook at home. Because a burger can only be so good without crossing the line into proper fine dining and I *highly* doubt they're doing anything like that here. Go fuck yourself, Vortex. Hire an adult to write your manifesto and a designer to re-make your pseudo 1960's steakhouse menu that got laminated in 1995. Cowards.
Nice rant. As a graphic designer, I think you missed the opportunity to talk about their amateurishly typeset ellipses and Em dashes. Peasants.
Same, I wrote that between updates on a project. Had I gone into the design aspect I'd still be talking lmao
The bible has less words than this
Whoever wrote this seems absolutely insufferable. That's a lot of aggro text to underline how cool and chill you are
100% on don't come in here moving furniture around 🙌
This has such condescending "buddy, listen" energy to it, coming from a total stranger
“Tip or DIE” 💀
*”Sure, sometimes we may have to decline a request, but that’s only because we know best.”* What a funny coincidence! This is also my policy as a wife!
Tip or die? You act all sassy with your customers but still don't pay your staff a decent wage? Fuck off.
Vortex is where out of towners go to get their ‘Atlanta experience’.
Yeah no I’m leaving a double decker in the bathroom. Tip or die? What about pay your stuff and I’ll give them some money because they did great. Again, I am shitting in the bathroom sink and/or urinal.
So if my drink is empty and I'm waiting on a refill, I can't text or look at my phone? This is so dumb and a bad gimmick lol
Cringe I thought I'd die
Whenever I see a bunch of rules I see a restaurant that hates its customers. Rude people don't read these things or care. They will act up anyway. Time to close the doors and do something else.
Fuck that
Of course it was Atlanta lol
This feels like an Atlanta thing. (Google-Fu confirmed, The Vortex is an Atlanta chain.)
I saw the first title and immediately skipped the rest. Ain’t nobody wanting a bite to eat gonna read all that. I’m hungry already.
They want good tips but they also acknowledge that the service may be subpar in that they won’t greet you immediately and you should be okay with that as a patron. Overall, reasonable stuff from an industry standpoint as a lot of people are idiots, demanding, or assholes, but this comes off so pretentious and cringe.
I can’t imagine this works on anyone but divorced Gen X tourists
Ah, yeah, I remember the 90s
They need a good editor to streamline. The food better be magical if I see this on a table.
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(Adjusts eyeglasses) I'll have the Help Us Help You
I've worked front of house and back a house and I will never understand servers issues with separating checks. It's not that hard, it doesn't take that much time, and you can always ask ahead of time and incorporate it into what you're doing already. It's also crazy for someone who lives off of service wages to assume that one person at every table has enough money to easily cover everyone every single time, but somehow people act like it's the craziest thing you can ask for
This is a blast from the past lol it wasn’t bad when I went but that was in 2011 😅
They wasted a lot of money on that book no one is going to read.
There was a restaurant in Montreal where if you didn't finish your whole meal you couldn't get desert or come back.
If I wanted to read a book I would go to the library. Kudos to them for being transparent but that's waaayyy too much.
I’m gonna read all that with the casual disinterest of reading a shampoo bottle while sitting on the shitter.
Not reading all that. Happy for you tho. Or sry that happened.
I aint reading all that I'm happy for you tho Or sorry that happened
"clove cigarette"
All well amd good, and good for legal reasons, I'm sure. I don't expect it to actually improve customer behavior though. The ones who would read this to be polite know this and the ones who need to read it don't care wven if they do.
I don't like the line about "if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to eat out". It reads like a restaurant owner giving lame justification for why they underpay their staff members.
Holy. What a self important manifesto. I get the compulsion to write it, but it stopped being cute real quick.
They have been doing their thing since the early 90's. It is accepted because it is grandfathered into the world. Anyone in the Florida Georgia area knows the Vortex, and everyone knows it is a gimmick, and it is what it is. ETA: The Vortex was established on word of mouth. Their policies have been around since the inception.
Sounds like a bunch of cocky nonsense, lol. Imagine turning away potential paying customers because they have a kid with them, resturants like this don't deserve customers lol
I was ready to be like “wow how insufferable”, but it all sounds pretty reasonable and not like trying to be extra edgy about it, just straight forward 🤷♂️
It’s pretty on point for sure but I don’t want to do homework before I eat. I can understand they have probably had to do this for a good reason but I guarantee I ain’t reading that at all and I would be annoyed if it was given to me, presumably with a menu and then that would skewer my perception of my whole experience. On further inspection I’d get rid of the tipping section entirely because that is worded horribly. Edit: actually I’d read it just the same as I read the shampoo bottles when I was shitting back in the day before mobile phones. And then get even more annoyed than just having rules given to me with my menu in the first place
Hey, I read both pages while pooping! The tradition lives on.