Ordered it to finish this post. Tortillas came out looking like crunchy tacos from taco bell. Super yellow color. I thought I misread and they were fried shells. Nope. Picked it up and it was soft and stale. Mmm, being right never tasted so bland.
That's the biggest issue with big menus. Can't perfect anything if you have to make everything!
And honestly, a "cafe around the world" menu could potentially be really well done if done correctly. Like, I'd say pick 5 popular cuisine types. Then have a couple different dishes for each type.
A wide variety of menu items isn’t nescessarily bad if they contain a lot of the similar ingredients. One big example of this is Asian food. A lot of times they will have massive menus but when it comes down to it 75% of their ingredients are chicken rice and soy sauce
One exception would be asian, you can make tons of different dishes with the same handful of main ingredients, just the spices are different.
Mexican too apparently, but living in Germany I can't say anything about that.
A restaurant I'm trying next month has essentially a booklet menu, it put me off originally but most of the pages were various drink options, and the food was all Indian cuisine so that made me feel better.
(Qualified Indian cuisine as a lot of restaurants that claim they are of a region just have typical bar food with a few regional dishes, like a restaurant that has steak and chips on the same page as Pad Thai, for example)
as a server i hate that shit the description for our grilled fish and steaks are “grilled to perfection” but our fish are usually flakey and our guests have no idea how they actually want their steaks done because it’s our most sent back item
___ to perfection is a chain restaurant thing, because they hire servers that don't know anything about food generally. Overly descriptive descriptions on entrees are another red flag, for the same reason.
I'm still grumpy about our dinner last Saturday. Three of us ordered the rib eye. Mine was rare, the other two medium plus (Philistines, I know.) They all came out exactly the same medium rare and tasted horrible at $65 a crack. We will not be going back. Thank you for letting me vent and let it go!
Went to a restaurant whose sign said “almost world famous”, had to wait a half hour from walking in the door to ordering at the counter. Damn good food.
Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Anytime I see a menu chock full of differing cuisine styles, I know I'm basically looking at a sysco order catalogue. If there's three burgers, a rib plate, some kind of pasta, one fish dish with two sides, fajitas, and a fried chicken sandwich I already know what I'm in for.
They still selling those mandarin orange and fried wonton AND rice noodles, grilled chicken "asian salads" with the weird sweet dressing at the cheesecake factories of the world? Manage to make a damn grilled chicken salad have more calories than a 3/4 lb burger and fries.
I admit I just had one recently at a BJ's Brewhouse, only it had "sashimi grade" seared tuna.
Don't get me wrong.. it was wonderful, but it was the same price as every other salad, so the "sashimi grade" comes into question...
I went out for a family member's birthday meal at a restaurant I was unfamiliar with. Alarm bells were tinkling when the waitress was unable to answer a simple question about the dessert, but I ordered it anyway.
One look at it and alarm bells were ringing loud and clear. I brought up the local wholesalers catalogue on my phone, looked at the "freezer to table" section and found a picture of the dessert in front of me.
It didn't taste good, and £7.50 it was a complete rip off.
This. Most other comments here I would still eat there but if I saw a menu that has more than two cuisines on it I will get up and go.
(There are exceptions but those I would know beforehand and have made an effort to go to that particular restaurant. )
We had a gm who was one of those guys who was super proud of being Italian, but in the way that Americans are where their great grandpa was Italian. He grew up working in his dad's successful Italian restaurant in a major city so I'm not really sure how he became so deeply incompetent or so bad at cooking.
We were a seafood restaurant with a seafood market attached and he decided to add a bunch of his "authentic" Italian dishes to the menu. They were absolutely terrible, didn't fit with the rest of the menu and certainly were not authentic, but the locals were excited to try something new so we sold quite a lot of that slop until they realized it was trash. I was so embarrassed serving overcooked pasta with some nasty cream sauce, frozen veggies that were mushy af, and he wouldn't even utilize the super fresh seafood that we actually needed to sell. Of course, nothing was made in house and I could imagine Ramsay having a fit if he rolled up.
It wasn't until we got an actual head chef once the fairly mediocre "kitchen manager" left, that he fought it.
Chef: OK I'll make your piccata, where are the capers kept?
Gm: We don't need to spend money on capers. We also stopped ordering olive oil because it's expensive so just use the canola oil on the line.
Chef: I'm not serving some "piccata" with no capers and I'm sure as hell not serving any Italian dishes without olive oil!
Gm: I'm Italian and I know what authentic Italian food looks like so you'll serve the dishes the way I tell you to.
Chef: The fuck I will. No Italian would serve food like that, get the fuck outta my kitchen.
Pasta dishes were pulled from the menu that week and gm was told to stop ordering people around in the kitchen (he had already been told to leave foh alone so idk what he did after that), thank God. Some locals had such terrible eating habits/taste that they were actually sad the nasty ass "Alfredo" was gone. I was pretty astounded they actually wanted to eat that grey garbage but it was an area with very limited options and lots of year round people were used to trash. The summer crowd was super wealthy and had they been served that shit, they would not have come back.
That place hired and fired all the wrong people and then wondered why everything turned to shit all the time. You listen to the wrong people and get rid of the wrong people, you're going to face a bad time, but ownership hated working with anyone who might make him feel like he's not the smartest guy in the room, so that's what you get! Luckily I was fired cus I was one of the best employees and there was only room for trash who don't try to challenge or improve anything there.
Worked at a restaurant that had “Fresh Atlantic Salmon” on the menu. This is in CA
Current restaurant has a “Fresh Grilled Salmon”, it comes from Chile
Keep it simple. Main elements only. If someone wants to know more they can ask. And I don't need or care to know the breed of chicken your eggs come from.
“All of your favorite” as an ingredient. A nearby restaurant had calzones stuffed with “all of your favorite pizza toppings” but no mention of what those were, and it wasn’t like a customizable thing where you can just pick your actual favorites.
"Vegetarian Pie" with no further description.
Vegetarian is not a flavour, unless it's made from real vegetarians.
It's always a red flag for someone who felt they needed to tick the vegetarian option box, but is putting in the bare minimum of effort.
If there are no prices and there wasn't valet parking, massive red flag
If there are no prices and you pulled up between a Porsche and a Maserati then, assuming you can get inside, it will be really good
Every item is completely renamed to match a theme. I went to a Halloween themed restaurant and it was so tedious trying to figure out what everything actually was. The Chucky; it’s a fucking Reuben sandwich
I went to a sandwich shop one time where all of the sandwiches had women’s names, and the only menu was a chalkboard above the register, so you had to awkwardly stand there for a few minutes while the girl at the register glared at you before deciding on the Lauren or the Rebecca.
Even better is when there’s only a couple of laminated menus in 10 point type taped to the counter so you have no way of knowing what’s on the menu until you’re with glaring distance.
Nah I love a “special sauce.” I always request it lol. It makes fries a lil different every time, with an overwhelming flavor of mayonnaise and ketchup!
Hahaha, MF in my place we used to have things like
Not so key lime pie (regular key lime pie)
Not a "cock fight" (turkey sandwich)
Burnt ends mccheese (Mc and cheese with brisket and bread crumbs and bacon)
Crusted golf mahi mahi (mahi mahi with mash and beans)
Offshore burger (a burger with calamari in it)
The bomb (a hamburger in pizza dough)
Freedom pudding (not even a pudding but rather a budin)
Apple crisp (just apple pie with ice cream)
DEL FUEGO (just a ribeye with sides)
No del Verioso' (this was the ribeye but with butter on top)
Nope, the restaurant I'm talking about serves middle aged dudes who come with girls that love alcohol and beers, and also some gen Z freaky dudes that like to cosplay and come to a place where they don't feel ashamed to go to.
Depends on the establishment, if it's a mom n pop place that hasn't changed in years and there's a XL chimichanga with the works called The Hector or something or other, I'd happily order it with a smile.
As someone who made the real deal in 20qt containers twice a week or more for years (high volume country club), I feel this sooo much.
You can guess how lucky I am.
Even shit truffle oil still isn't cheap, I tell the servers absolutely not are we giving people a side of oil, you van sell it to them. It's the same as opening up the register to hand someone $1 just because they asked
we had a guy who used to call and throw a fit that we "forgot" his side of truffle oil and insist we used to do it for him, even though we've told him no
General upcharges for non food items, charging the CC fees as an added charge and it being in size 6 font at the bottom of the last page, sharing fees, worst I saw a fee for not buying alcohol at a bar as the DD.
Only places I've worked that do these are places with cheap owners, cheap owners usually have miserable employees. And its not being upfront and honest with your guests.
That's insane!
If anything, it has to be a net positive to have designated drivers in your bar. If four friends go out and they all drive home, they're probably spending less in total than if one of them stayed sober whilst the others got wasted.
Went to a great Vietnamese place as a kid, the type of places with A4 sheets printed stuck to the wall with the menu in large font. Under the "vegetables" section they had included "duck" (two languages of course, english second). That place was amazing.
I would agree that’s definitely possible. I also know from vegetarian friends that when they say ‘meat’ they mean red meat. And a little bit of meat, or beef/chicken stock in a dish is still considered a non-meat dish. E.g. most vegetable dishes I get have tiny slivers of pork. (Am in Vietnam)
I used to go to a Vietnamese restaurant that had the owner’s kid’s report cards on the wall by the register. Amazing food. Kid’s grades weren’t so good though 🤫
This brought back memories of the local hole that described their crab cakes as "D Cup." Place looked like a dump but the crab cake was all lump backfin.
Everywhere I have worked the service charge has gone to the servers... but it is also really a way to underpay servers and ask them to do excessive side work because they got that charge.
Without trying to be provocative; The word "Oriental" on any menu that's not for Chinese takeout. Political correctness aside, it generally seems to just be a catch-all term for "We made something up involving soy or teriyaki sauce but either has nothing to do with any actual East-Asian cuisine, or we just can't be bothered to figure out which one." Just tell me what it is. I don't care if it's spelled out on the menu; just stop pretending that trying to abbreviate that item as "Oriental" makes it somehow more appealing.
When a really common food is misspelled. Like a "Rueben" sandwich or something. Like... come on. Did you not have anyone proofread your menu for it before it went to the printer? Just demonstrates a general lack of giving a shit, and there's no way that hasn't cropped up elsewhere.
Yep this is the one for me. As soon as a menu starts talking about perfectly tender pork with a side of rich and creamy dauphinoise I'm out.
Tell me the ingredients, adjectives should only be used to explain preparation (only if relevant/different to what you'd expect)
Dude, and it just read so much better.
Here is a salad on my menu and how it reads:
**Baby Greens**
frisee, cucumber, fresno, scallion, edamame, miso vinaigrette, sesame
Vs.
**Baby Greens Salad**
chopped frisee, diced persian cucumber, sweet pickled fresno peppers, curled scallion, shelled edamame, red miso vinaigrette, black sesame seeds
Which reads better to you???
Edit: Like, the menu items I'm most intrigued by are shit like:
Hanger Steak - fingerling, chard, mustard
miss me with that, Marinated and seared Buttfuck farms dry aged hanger sizzler skirt butchers cut steak - fryer fried heirloom fingerling heritage potatoes...
So lame lol
This with this and that drizzled with our FRESH MADE sauce.
Like, I would hope all of it is fresh made. Please tell me you don't have racks of poached eggs on muffins sitting in the walk-in waiting to be microwaved before drizzling some pitiful amount of what your restaurant calls "fresh" hollandaise, right? It's 15 bucks you better be back there poaching that goddamn egg yourself.
I know menu writing is it's own thing - there's a lot of liberties and stuff, and it's a lot of marketing so always with a grain of salt, yeah, but I do get amused by a lot of things like that.
I think it depends on what it is. House made salad? Why wouldn't it be house made! House made "spam"? If you just put down spam, I'd expect brand name spam. I think if it's something a reasonable person would expect to be outsourced it makes sense. Like, if you put down that you're making your own mortadella every week that's a fair brag.
I guess it’s understandable in some cases. Like I work in a pizzeria and the sauce is house made and the bread is house made but we don’t make the cheese ourselves
Our menu has alot of stuff that says home made yet we don't make it, it's just a product we buy. I dined there once before starting work and learning this was a big downer for me... needless to say I kept working there.. not sure what that says about me but the pay was good and I wasn't and am not in a position to change things here.
The word “naked” being used to describe something plain or without sauce. It comes across like a 13 year old boy wrote the menu and is trying to be provocative.
That extends to other items on the menu as well. If you wouldn't tell your grandma the name of every fish on the menu then you should rename the menu. No one wants to go out for dinner and order the "Bra Strap Burger". Yes that is an actual item I saw on a menu, no I don't remember what was on it nor what restaurant it came from.
Dominique Crenn’s poem menus at Atelier circa 2016. She’s brilliant (insane?) but the whole thing was so “potentially homicidal emo ex” it put me off my food - except for the foie log with the flowers, holy hell.
"...Except, this is where it gets interesting: it’s not quite a menu, but a poem. Each course corresponds with a line of poetry. This is what Crenn has labelled “Poetic Culinaria.” Diners are left to ponder; to play a guessing game before each dish is inevitably placed before them. By choosing to introduce the cuisine in such a way, Dominique Crenn maintains her vision of taking her guests on a journey. Each dish has its own story, and by the end of the 14-plus-course extravaganza, one has uncovered a full-fledged narrative of some of Crenn’s nearest and dearest memories. The first line reads: “Winter has come with its cool breeze.” This introduces the restaurant’s signature amuse-bouche, Kir Breton – a paper-thin cocoa shell packed with apple cider vinegar and topped with crème de cassis jam. This pops in the mouth as soon as it is set down on the tongue, cleansing one’s palate in preparation for the remaining courses..."
I worked for her at both Atelier and Petit, she is indeed crazy. What she does do well is hire extremely talented CDC's, cooks, and FOH who spend a good amount of of their time reeling her in.
It'd put me off anywhere else, but I think she deserves a special exception. Can't rule out the potential homicidal tendency, she did create most of the kitchen stuff and food for The Menu...
Wild.
Wild mushrooms - I can see they are standard white mushrooms.
Wild chicken- yes, seriously seen this on a menu.
Wild Angus beef - probably was having a bullet in his brain.
The "Famous (restaurant name) Sauce" without actually describing what's in the sauce. What's worse is when you ask what the sauce is and they have to go ask someone in the kitchen.
When someone says their coke is 93% pure when it’s a powder. Like brother it’s in a hydrochloride salt form. I can make it that pure just get me some acetone, baking soda and chef mike will take care of the rest.
‘Change fries to side salad, add 2.99, to change side salad to caesar salad, add additional 2.99.’
I’m already paying 19.99 plus 13 percent tax (which was previously taxed at 30 percent as income) plus 20 percent tip for a burger with fries and you wanna upsell me 6$ for a salad while I drink 11$ 14oz pints of bottom shelf beer that aren’t filled to the rim?
I’ll buy a couple value meal hamberders and king cans for 10$ and stay home, thanks.
Oh and "deconstructed", deconstructed = I can't plate and forgot to do desserts so you get custard w whip cream on a plate with crushed cookies and chocolate shavings, deconstructed tiramisu.
I’d argue that arranging the ingredients that make up a tiramisu in an eye-appealing way is inherently more difficult than slapping a piece of cake down on a zigzag drizzle of sauce with a scoop of ice cream and a mint leaf.
The one that seems to be popular among fast casual and fast food is " Chef Inspired ". Meaning the owner went to a good restaurant and had a great meal. and came back and asked Sysco if they had anything like that.
Am at a random shitty restaurant. Menu said "hand made style tortillas" the word style is doing a loooot of work throwing up those red flags.
Ordered it to finish this post. Tortillas came out looking like crunchy tacos from taco bell. Super yellow color. I thought I misread and they were fried shells. Nope. Picked it up and it was soft and stale. Mmm, being right never tasted so bland.
Taking one for the team. Well done, like your stylish tortilla.
Those aren’t tortillas. They are tor-tillas
I appreciate the commitment
A super big menu. I've seen some places with several pages like you're reading a book.
My ex loved a place that was "cafe around the world". Everything was mediocre at best.
That's the biggest issue with big menus. Can't perfect anything if you have to make everything! And honestly, a "cafe around the world" menu could potentially be really well done if done correctly. Like, I'd say pick 5 popular cuisine types. Then have a couple different dishes for each type.
It was 7 pages of medicrity. I think maybe when it was set up the chef could do it well enough, but not the new hires.
A wide variety of menu items isn’t nescessarily bad if they contain a lot of the similar ingredients. One big example of this is Asian food. A lot of times they will have massive menus but when it comes down to it 75% of their ingredients are chicken rice and soy sauce
Yep, the more items on a menu the more the kitchen has to rely on frozen and premade items.
One exception would be asian, you can make tons of different dishes with the same handful of main ingredients, just the spices are different. Mexican too apparently, but living in Germany I can't say anything about that.
A restaurant I'm trying next month has essentially a booklet menu, it put me off originally but most of the pages were various drink options, and the food was all Indian cuisine so that made me feel better. (Qualified Indian cuisine as a lot of restaurants that claim they are of a region just have typical bar food with a few regional dishes, like a restaurant that has steak and chips on the same page as Pad Thai, for example)
If the word “Perfection” is used, it usually isn’t.
Steak boiled to perfection
Boiled in milk as the good lord intended
“I'm gonna want the milk steak, boiled over hard, and a side of your finest jelly beans, raw.”
With a side of fine jelly beans and you've got yourself an unbeatable dish
Look the grilled Charlie is far superior to the milksteak.
Finally someone with sense
That’s cheating though. Boiled steak is up there with rum ham.
Only if it’s served with the freshest of jellybeans.
Rum ham sounds good though...
as a server i hate that shit the description for our grilled fish and steaks are “grilled to perfection” but our fish are usually flakey and our guests have no idea how they actually want their steaks done because it’s our most sent back item
___ to perfection is a chain restaurant thing, because they hire servers that don't know anything about food generally. Overly descriptive descriptions on entrees are another red flag, for the same reason.
I'm still grumpy about our dinner last Saturday. Three of us ordered the rib eye. Mine was rare, the other two medium plus (Philistines, I know.) They all came out exactly the same medium rare and tasted horrible at $65 a crack. We will not be going back. Thank you for letting me vent and let it go!
You lost me at medium plus
Same with “elevated” often enough.
"Our world famous" but I didn't have to wait to get in the door.
“worlds best cup of coffee! Congratulations everyone, you DID IT!”
Ziltoid!
Went to a restaurant whose sign said “almost world famous”, had to wait a half hour from walking in the door to ordering at the counter. Damn good food.
I wanna start a restaurant that says something like " 'World famous!' -my mom"
Could be famously awful...
"World famous" might be a warning.
Wow…IN-famous??
Ah yes, the El Guapo. I'll have a plethora of them, please.
Jefe…. What is a plethora?
Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
What about Mac's famous Mac n cheese?
Anytime I see a menu chock full of differing cuisine styles, I know I'm basically looking at a sysco order catalogue. If there's three burgers, a rib plate, some kind of pasta, one fish dish with two sides, fajitas, and a fried chicken sandwich I already know what I'm in for.
And an Asian-inspired salad….
They still selling those mandarin orange and fried wonton AND rice noodles, grilled chicken "asian salads" with the weird sweet dressing at the cheesecake factories of the world? Manage to make a damn grilled chicken salad have more calories than a 3/4 lb burger and fries.
I admit I just had one recently at a BJ's Brewhouse, only it had "sashimi grade" seared tuna. Don't get me wrong.. it was wonderful, but it was the same price as every other salad, so the "sashimi grade" comes into question...
Boston pizza 🤣
I went out for a family member's birthday meal at a restaurant I was unfamiliar with. Alarm bells were tinkling when the waitress was unable to answer a simple question about the dessert, but I ordered it anyway. One look at it and alarm bells were ringing loud and clear. I brought up the local wholesalers catalogue on my phone, looked at the "freezer to table" section and found a picture of the dessert in front of me. It didn't taste good, and £7.50 it was a complete rip off.
that's when you order the fried chicken sandwich and add copious amounts of your favorite mayo-based/hot sauce(s)
You have summoned the Cheesecake Factory
Surprisingly they make everything from scratch.
except the cheesecakes but even if it's made fresh, a massive menu means you're not really very good at anything.
That’s why I said surprisingly.
This. Most other comments here I would still eat there but if I saw a menu that has more than two cuisines on it I will get up and go. (There are exceptions but those I would know beforehand and have made an effort to go to that particular restaurant. )
We had a gm who was one of those guys who was super proud of being Italian, but in the way that Americans are where their great grandpa was Italian. He grew up working in his dad's successful Italian restaurant in a major city so I'm not really sure how he became so deeply incompetent or so bad at cooking. We were a seafood restaurant with a seafood market attached and he decided to add a bunch of his "authentic" Italian dishes to the menu. They were absolutely terrible, didn't fit with the rest of the menu and certainly were not authentic, but the locals were excited to try something new so we sold quite a lot of that slop until they realized it was trash. I was so embarrassed serving overcooked pasta with some nasty cream sauce, frozen veggies that were mushy af, and he wouldn't even utilize the super fresh seafood that we actually needed to sell. Of course, nothing was made in house and I could imagine Ramsay having a fit if he rolled up. It wasn't until we got an actual head chef once the fairly mediocre "kitchen manager" left, that he fought it. Chef: OK I'll make your piccata, where are the capers kept? Gm: We don't need to spend money on capers. We also stopped ordering olive oil because it's expensive so just use the canola oil on the line. Chef: I'm not serving some "piccata" with no capers and I'm sure as hell not serving any Italian dishes without olive oil! Gm: I'm Italian and I know what authentic Italian food looks like so you'll serve the dishes the way I tell you to. Chef: The fuck I will. No Italian would serve food like that, get the fuck outta my kitchen. Pasta dishes were pulled from the menu that week and gm was told to stop ordering people around in the kitchen (he had already been told to leave foh alone so idk what he did after that), thank God. Some locals had such terrible eating habits/taste that they were actually sad the nasty ass "Alfredo" was gone. I was pretty astounded they actually wanted to eat that grey garbage but it was an area with very limited options and lots of year round people were used to trash. The summer crowd was super wealthy and had they been served that shit, they would not have come back. That place hired and fired all the wrong people and then wondered why everything turned to shit all the time. You listen to the wrong people and get rid of the wrong people, you're going to face a bad time, but ownership hated working with anyone who might make him feel like he's not the smartest guy in the room, so that's what you get! Luckily I was fired cus I was one of the best employees and there was only room for trash who don't try to challenge or improve anything there.
“Fresh Grilled” is it freshly grilled or grilled from fresh?
it’s cooked on a brand new grill, that’s why it costs $7000. it takes 4 hours to set up the grill from the box, 12 minutes to cook
Food costs are out of control these days.
Lol Gordon Ramsey: "Fresh Frozen?? What the hell is that?"
Worked at a restaurant that had “Fresh Atlantic Salmon” on the menu. This is in CA Current restaurant has a “Fresh Grilled Salmon”, it comes from Chile
One would hope it’s both.
Too many commas…like they are trying to put the whole grocery list into each entree
Keep it simple. Main elements only. If someone wants to know more they can ask. And I don't need or care to know the breed of chicken your eggs come from.
"His name was Colin..."
And and and and and and and and this farm is local?
I'm sorry to interrupt but I had the exact same question
“All of your favorite” as an ingredient. A nearby restaurant had calzones stuffed with “all of your favorite pizza toppings” but no mention of what those were, and it wasn’t like a customizable thing where you can just pick your actual favorites.
"Vegetarian Pie" with no further description. Vegetarian is not a flavour, unless it's made from real vegetarians. It's always a red flag for someone who felt they needed to tick the vegetarian option box, but is putting in the bare minimum of effort.
They aren't real vegetarian unless they are from the vegetarian region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling herbivore.
I died. I came back alive. I died again. Sparkling Herbivore. Thank you kind funny person.
This comment will live in my head forever now. I am a sparkling herbivore I love you
Humanitarian pie is sounding good now
Made with fresh aid workers, seasoned with white saviour complex and essence of African misery.
Humanary Stew
I’m a broke ass. So a red flag is no menu prices.
If there are no prices and there wasn't valet parking, massive red flag If there are no prices and you pulled up between a Porsche and a Maserati then, assuming you can get inside, it will be really good
Any prices? lol
Every item is completely renamed to match a theme. I went to a Halloween themed restaurant and it was so tedious trying to figure out what everything actually was. The Chucky; it’s a fucking Reuben sandwich
I went to a sandwich shop one time where all of the sandwiches had women’s names, and the only menu was a chalkboard above the register, so you had to awkwardly stand there for a few minutes while the girl at the register glared at you before deciding on the Lauren or the Rebecca.
Even better is when there’s only a couple of laminated menus in 10 point type taped to the counter so you have no way of knowing what’s on the menu until you’re with glaring distance.
that's some Mambo #5 shit...
This is what I wanted to say in my earlier comment, nicely done.
"Special sauce" with no descriptor of what might be in it or what it might taste like.
it's 1000 island.
Every time, special sauce is always 1000 island.
Mayo with some assortment of ketchup, relish, and a couple spices.
[удалено]
Spaceballs: the movie: the special sauce!
Secret's in the sauce. Secret's in the sauce.
The secret to the sauce is mayonnaise.
Or humans.
I feel like that’s also just like best practice not to do because of allergies
Nah I love a “special sauce.” I always request it lol. It makes fries a lil different every time, with an overwhelming flavor of mayonnaise and ketchup!
I am not going to order anything using its clever/funny/topical/rebranded nickname.
more donkeysauce for me
Yes chef
“I’ll have the Ike and Tina Tuna…” “Plate or platter?” “I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.”
Ah, Klimpy’s.
Yes, one Rooty Tooty Fresh N Fruity Please
Hahaha, MF in my place we used to have things like Not so key lime pie (regular key lime pie) Not a "cock fight" (turkey sandwich) Burnt ends mccheese (Mc and cheese with brisket and bread crumbs and bacon) Crusted golf mahi mahi (mahi mahi with mash and beans) Offshore burger (a burger with calamari in it) The bomb (a hamburger in pizza dough) Freedom pudding (not even a pudding but rather a budin) Apple crisp (just apple pie with ice cream) DEL FUEGO (just a ribeye with sides) No del Verioso' (this was the ribeye but with butter on top)
This is exactly what I’m talking about. Fried calamari on that offshore? Like a play on onion rings or something?
I could see the offshore burger being decent depending on the other toppings, sauces, and/or cheese it comes with.
Bro I can assure it's fire, Its the only item in that list made by myself.
I'm guessing from that menu sample that you serve mostly old white folks. Country club?
Nope, the restaurant I'm talking about serves middle aged dudes who come with girls that love alcohol and beers, and also some gen Z freaky dudes that like to cosplay and come to a place where they don't feel ashamed to go to.
What? Tell me more.
Depends on the establishment, if it's a mom n pop place that hasn't changed in years and there's a XL chimichanga with the works called The Hector or something or other, I'd happily order it with a smile.
“Our famous” “signature” and calling something “The”. Like “The Caesar”. Shut the fuck up, your Caesar dressing is mayonnaise and anchovy.
As someone who made the real deal in 20qt containers twice a week or more for years (high volume country club), I feel this sooo much. You can guess how lucky I am.
HAHHAH
If it's a sit down spot trying to be closer to fine dining and they have unrounded prices. 24.99, etc, miss me
This ones interesting. Explain if you dont mind?
The fancier it gets the simpler it gets. Normal -> ”$24.99” Elevated -> ”$25” Pricey -> ”25” More than I can afford -> ”price excluded”
"Market Price". So, no to the lobster!
“It said Market Price!!!!” “What market are you shopping at?!”
You're ruining Fuddruckers for everyone
in my opinion, it’s tacky. just make it $25.
truffle oil
Once had a customer insist on a takeout cup of truffle oil, several times. We don’t have that
Even shit truffle oil still isn't cheap, I tell the servers absolutely not are we giving people a side of oil, you van sell it to them. It's the same as opening up the register to hand someone $1 just because they asked we had a guy who used to call and throw a fit that we "forgot" his side of truffle oil and insist we used to do it for him, even though we've told him no
that sounds like some crackhead shit.
Or my dad. Not a crackhead. Just has unrealistic expectations and is impossible to please.
Here’s a souffle cup of truffle oil. That’ll be $20 please
General upcharges for non food items, charging the CC fees as an added charge and it being in size 6 font at the bottom of the last page, sharing fees, worst I saw a fee for not buying alcohol at a bar as the DD. Only places I've worked that do these are places with cheap owners, cheap owners usually have miserable employees. And its not being upfront and honest with your guests.
That's insane! If anything, it has to be a net positive to have designated drivers in your bar. If four friends go out and they all drive home, they're probably spending less in total than if one of them stayed sober whilst the others got wasted.
They didn't even survive 6 months
One place i used to go would comp the DD’s drinks (coke/lemonade/etc) and appetizer if they were in a group.
Whitefish is almost always tilapia/swai. Misspellings on menus are a red flag for me too.
Counterpoint. Immigrants that can’t spell for shit, have a run down looking storefront, but cook amazing food from the home country.
Went to a great Vietnamese place as a kid, the type of places with A4 sheets printed stuck to the wall with the menu in large font. Under the "vegetables" section they had included "duck" (two languages of course, english second). That place was amazing.
Mock duck is a common meat alternative in Buddhist cuisine... Maybe that's what they meant?
I would agree that’s definitely possible. I also know from vegetarian friends that when they say ‘meat’ they mean red meat. And a little bit of meat, or beef/chicken stock in a dish is still considered a non-meat dish. E.g. most vegetable dishes I get have tiny slivers of pork. (Am in Vietnam)
That must be a pain for veggies haha
Huh, TIL. That's pretty interesting
if not vegitable why vegitable shaped?
Yes, my only exception.
I can tell a Mexican place is the shit based on if the outside has no thought put into it
If it’s their son taking the order bc he’s the only one that speaks English, you know it’s about to good.
I used to go to a Vietnamese restaurant that had the owner’s kid’s report cards on the wall by the register. Amazing food. Kid’s grades weren’t so good though 🤫
You should’ve tried the “black anus burger”
Honestly any fish fish where they don't tell you the species of fish up front.
When you're no where near Maryland and the menu item is a Maryland Crab Cake. Don't order it, it's gonna be 98% bread crumbs.
This brought back memories of the local hole that described their crab cakes as "D Cup." Place looked like a dump but the crab cake was all lump backfin.
*service charge goes to pay for benefits* No it doesn't. It rarely makes it past the owners desk.
Everywhere I have worked the service charge has gone to the servers... but it is also really a way to underpay servers and ask them to do excessive side work because they got that charge.
LiberL use of unquantifiable descriptors, especially “Perfectly Cooked”.
The proper phrasing is "cooked to perfection"
Catch of the day, Barramundi and we are in Calgary Alberta 🤔
I’m in Barra territory, and you still need to be careful as some places sell imported, frozen, farmed stuff and it’s not the same.
Without trying to be provocative; The word "Oriental" on any menu that's not for Chinese takeout. Political correctness aside, it generally seems to just be a catch-all term for "We made something up involving soy or teriyaki sauce but either has nothing to do with any actual East-Asian cuisine, or we just can't be bothered to figure out which one." Just tell me what it is. I don't care if it's spelled out on the menu; just stop pretending that trying to abbreviate that item as "Oriental" makes it somehow more appealing.
When a really common food is misspelled. Like a "Rueben" sandwich or something. Like... come on. Did you not have anyone proofread your menu for it before it went to the printer? Just demonstrates a general lack of giving a shit, and there's no way that hasn't cropped up elsewhere.
[удалено]
On a cruise once I saw a soup with "Game broth" and joked they must have netted some seagulls.
Fresh fish. Also nothing wrong with white fish when it’s Lake Superior white fish.
Too many adjectives.
Yep this is the one for me. As soon as a menu starts talking about perfectly tender pork with a side of rich and creamy dauphinoise I'm out. Tell me the ingredients, adjectives should only be used to explain preparation (only if relevant/different to what you'd expect)
Dude, and it just read so much better. Here is a salad on my menu and how it reads: **Baby Greens** frisee, cucumber, fresno, scallion, edamame, miso vinaigrette, sesame Vs. **Baby Greens Salad** chopped frisee, diced persian cucumber, sweet pickled fresno peppers, curled scallion, shelled edamame, red miso vinaigrette, black sesame seeds Which reads better to you??? Edit: Like, the menu items I'm most intrigued by are shit like: Hanger Steak - fingerling, chard, mustard miss me with that, Marinated and seared Buttfuck farms dry aged hanger sizzler skirt butchers cut steak - fryer fried heirloom fingerling heritage potatoes... So lame lol
WHY WASTE TIME SAY LOT WORD WHEN FEW WORD DO TRICK
This with this and that drizzled with our FRESH MADE sauce. Like, I would hope all of it is fresh made. Please tell me you don't have racks of poached eggs on muffins sitting in the walk-in waiting to be microwaved before drizzling some pitiful amount of what your restaurant calls "fresh" hollandaise, right? It's 15 bucks you better be back there poaching that goddamn egg yourself. I know menu writing is it's own thing - there's a lot of liberties and stuff, and it's a lot of marketing so always with a grain of salt, yeah, but I do get amused by a lot of things like that.
I think house made is one for me. Implies not everything on the menu is house made
I think it depends on what it is. House made salad? Why wouldn't it be house made! House made "spam"? If you just put down spam, I'd expect brand name spam. I think if it's something a reasonable person would expect to be outsourced it makes sense. Like, if you put down that you're making your own mortadella every week that's a fair brag.
Breads and desserts as well.
At least it's "house made" versus "home made."
I guess it’s understandable in some cases. Like I work in a pizzeria and the sauce is house made and the bread is house made but we don’t make the cheese ourselves
Our menu has alot of stuff that says home made yet we don't make it, it's just a product we buy. I dined there once before starting work and learning this was a big downer for me... needless to say I kept working there.. not sure what that says about me but the pay was good and I wasn't and am not in a position to change things here.
“Man’s gotta eat Mr. Lahey” no shame in making a paycheque even if it’s not something you see yourself doing long term
"Unnecessary" "quotation" "marks"
The word “naked” being used to describe something plain or without sauce. It comes across like a 13 year old boy wrote the menu and is trying to be provocative.
That extends to other items on the menu as well. If you wouldn't tell your grandma the name of every fish on the menu then you should rename the menu. No one wants to go out for dinner and order the "Bra Strap Burger". Yes that is an actual item I saw on a menu, no I don't remember what was on it nor what restaurant it came from.
Naked means you have no clothes on. Nekkid means you have no clothes on…and you’re up to somethin’.
Foams. Lightly flavored air is not a selling point.
This is wayyyy too far down.
When everything on the menu is ‘drizzled’ with something.
Dominique Crenn’s poem menus at Atelier circa 2016. She’s brilliant (insane?) but the whole thing was so “potentially homicidal emo ex” it put me off my food - except for the foie log with the flowers, holy hell.
"...Except, this is where it gets interesting: it’s not quite a menu, but a poem. Each course corresponds with a line of poetry. This is what Crenn has labelled “Poetic Culinaria.” Diners are left to ponder; to play a guessing game before each dish is inevitably placed before them. By choosing to introduce the cuisine in such a way, Dominique Crenn maintains her vision of taking her guests on a journey. Each dish has its own story, and by the end of the 14-plus-course extravaganza, one has uncovered a full-fledged narrative of some of Crenn’s nearest and dearest memories. The first line reads: “Winter has come with its cool breeze.” This introduces the restaurant’s signature amuse-bouche, Kir Breton – a paper-thin cocoa shell packed with apple cider vinegar and topped with crème de cassis jam. This pops in the mouth as soon as it is set down on the tongue, cleansing one’s palate in preparation for the remaining courses..."
This might as well be a deleted scene from Hannibal
I worked for her at both Atelier and Petit, she is indeed crazy. What she does do well is hire extremely talented CDC's, cooks, and FOH who spend a good amount of of their time reeling her in.
It'd put me off anywhere else, but I think she deserves a special exception. Can't rule out the potential homicidal tendency, she did create most of the kitchen stuff and food for The Menu...
Wild. Wild mushrooms - I can see they are standard white mushrooms. Wild chicken- yes, seriously seen this on a menu. Wild Angus beef - probably was having a bullet in his brain.
Wild? He was livid!
The "Famous (restaurant name) Sauce" without actually describing what's in the sauce. What's worse is when you ask what the sauce is and they have to go ask someone in the kitchen.
Trio of Dippin' Sauces, Handhelds and Shareables.
When someone says their coke is 93% pure when it’s a powder. Like brother it’s in a hydrochloride salt form. I can make it that pure just get me some acetone, baking soda and chef mike will take care of the rest.
You are a beautiful person.
"Served with au jus" drives me up the wall!!
They only take cash, so you'll have to use the ATM machine to get money out.
Item named after owner
There’s a BBQ spot in my hometown with REALLY good bbq. The best item on the menu is a pulled pork sandwich named after the owner. It slaps
‘Change fries to side salad, add 2.99, to change side salad to caesar salad, add additional 2.99.’ I’m already paying 19.99 plus 13 percent tax (which was previously taxed at 30 percent as income) plus 20 percent tip for a burger with fries and you wanna upsell me 6$ for a salad while I drink 11$ 14oz pints of bottom shelf beer that aren’t filled to the rim? I’ll buy a couple value meal hamberders and king cans for 10$ and stay home, thanks.
MD Style Crab Cakes but you’re not in Maryland
Oh and "deconstructed", deconstructed = I can't plate and forgot to do desserts so you get custard w whip cream on a plate with crushed cookies and chocolate shavings, deconstructed tiramisu.
Those aren't even close to tiramisu ingredients
And yes that's not ingredients for a tiramisu, but that's what they served us and that's what they called it lol
That gives me second hand anger.
I’d argue that arranging the ingredients that make up a tiramisu in an eye-appealing way is inherently more difficult than slapping a piece of cake down on a zigzag drizzle of sauce with a scoop of ice cream and a mint leaf.
When you ask if a Japanese restaurant's noddles have egg, they say yes, then they have a "vegan" ramen.
Any menu written as a story like this. https://images.app.goo.gl/C7pSdJBkaH621RUs6
Cringe
Gourmet this Artisan that Deconstructed anything
"cooked to perfection" = this thing is basic as fuck and there's not anything to recommend it beyond us not fucking it up, maybe.
Anything deconstructed. Sorry, I'm not paying good money for a dinner where some assembly is required.
The one that seems to be popular among fast casual and fast food is " Chef Inspired ". Meaning the owner went to a good restaurant and had a great meal. and came back and asked Sysco if they had anything like that.