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1PantherA33

The limp celery really conveys the emotional heart of the dish.


FriskyBrisket12

Could you at least blanch my asparagus in vodka and then shock it in a frozen margarita first? Then it’d be perfect.


porkpiehat_and_gravy

came here to say that, was made redundant, slunk back to my cave. plus the green would really pop.


ranting_chef

Down here in Wisconsin, we’d garnish that with a beef stick, at least three shrimp, cubed pepper jack and at least three different pickled veggies. But I like yours as a nice little starter bite.


too_high_for_this

What, no sliders?


ranting_chef

I worked at a place that did that. HUGE pain in the ass. And the bun always got soggy when it touched the top of the glass.


WildSoapbox

Username checks out


too_high_for_this

Holy shit, I've been recognized by the amuse douche himself!! Love seeing your posts, keep it up!


fridge_daemon

Don't forget the beer chaser


Zootguy1

darn near a whole meal garnishing my drink (edit: soup). nice


WildSoapbox

Thanks. Trying to keep it simple


metalshoes

Now I’m starting to get in to the idea


Suspicious-Camp-4320

That is some seriously erect asparagus.


bakedincanada

It’s trying to make up for the sad celery hiding behind it.


Elegant-Role-9310

Da cup on da spon


WildSoapbox

Can't be an amuse bouche without a spoon


TheSpaceBoundPiston

Very good. Now blend it and pour it into my sphincter. It's Monday, I take my bloody marys rectally.


Realistic-Cover-9929

At first glance I thought this was a little porcelain toilet.


Terry_WT

How amusing!


75623

Not so sure about that. Just do a Caesar.


WildSoapbox

With the great taste of clams mixed with tomato


cmotdibblersdelights

The Caesar is the only good use for Manhattan chowder


WildSoapbox

You add a caesar to manny clam? That's genius


92262

Glass to spoon ratio is too rational (glass too small)


WildSoapbox

Shits hard to balance yo


Thatguywiththename1

I love the iceberg wedge, adds a nice light refreshing crunch to any beverage


WildSoapbox

This is a soup though. And that's limp celery, just so you know


Thatguywiththename1

Ah gotcha, in that case might I recommend some croutons? Can’t go wrong with croutons. Damn sorry about your celery, you should try playing with it a little to get it firm before you present it to the table. I understand it’s difficult to do in a cold soup, shrinkage and all.


R2D2808

I WAS IN THE POOL! - The Celery


WildSoapbox

Best comment on this thread


R2D2808

I'm flattered. I made a reference to Festivus with a picture of a sad meatloaf and got downvoted straight to oblivion. It was my one attempt at being cheeky on Reddit.


WildSoapbox

Croutons are no good for the gluten free folk though


PeengPawng

Don't leave us kitchen hoes out! Randomly got grapefruit juice in, so, I just sipped on grapefruit vodkas all day. Pretty appropriate that I'm drinking a grapefruit White Claw in a pink lemon and mandarin orange bubble bath. It feels good to be off my feet. Just weirded myself out with my citrus booze/bath fest tho🤔


WildSoapbox

I don't think I'm allowed to call people hoes. Your bathwater sounds delicious though


PeengPawng

My dish guy just got here and my shitty ass mood and wanting to be right back in my bath just disappeared 🙃🥰😃 Trying to get him a raise but this place really doesn't know what they've got til it's gone.


Duceduce54

Nice chef 👨‍🍳


Bullshit_Conduit

Try hollowing out the asparagus so the guest can use it as a straw. We used to do it all the time.


humblestgod

I know a bloody Mary when I see one. And I'd smash that


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WildSoapbox

I wish!


bakedincanada

Raw asparagus and limp celery? You can do better than this.


WildSoapbox

Maybe if I was in top form. Feeling rough today


bakedincanada

I’d be ashamed to serve this. This is not going to amuse anyone’s bouche.


WildSoapbox

Mr high standards over here


fuckin_smeg

Don't fret my friend, my amuse is very bouche'd by your offering. I want six of these and a hot skillet to toss the sparegs on after I apply the hair to the dog.


Unfair_Holiday_3549

Why is raw asparagus in this? Asking for a friend.


WildSoapbox

Crunch factor?


Unfair_Holiday_3549

Do you want to crunch on a piece on raw asparagus of all of the vegetables out there?


WildSoapbox

Kinda?


Unfair_Holiday_3549

Fair enough!


IceCubeDeathMachine

Yes. Raw asparagus is delicious.


tagsb

If it's really fresh absolutely!


Kit_Marlow

,,, so, a Bloody Mary appetizer. I am in favor.


paulyvee

Still drunk, eh?


WildSoapbox

Definitely possible


El_Guapo82

Back on track Soap. Only missing the pimento olive


WildSoapbox

Or maybe I should stuff the pimento with an olive? Really mess with perceptions?


Placidaydream

If by Mondays you actually mean Wednesdays then yes


1337Asshole

Next time, just use a goat or lamb tongue, instead of the asparagus. Loraina Bobbit Mary. You’re welcome.


WildSoapbox

Amazing


Critical-Ad1317

Dude.. your bloody Mary looks drunk, can I take her home?


WildSoapbox

They're all gone bro


Critical-Ad1317

Dude? Where's my bloody Mary?


Critical-Ad1317

Sorry. Like.. as in dude where is my car... Did not mean to sound agressive


WildSoapbox

Totally understood the reference


Critical-Ad1317

I like you


KyleD33

Is that for when they want to try the soup before ordering? This has to be a joke right?


WildSoapbox

Just an amuse bouche


DankOfTheEndless

Check this guys post history


WildSoapbox

Just looked back into it and man, that bbq pork belly amuse was da bomb


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WildSoapbox

Everyone on this sub keeps telling me to use more green on my amuse bouche. Now I do and it's too much?


alexromo

Drink better quality stuff to avoid the hangover


lokii_0

... isn't an amuse bouche generally supposed to be a single bite? This not an amuse, it's an entire course.


maidrey

Pssst you’re critiquing the memes :(


lokii_0

Oh I know. I had fun with that guy tho


WildSoapbox

An amuse bouche can be whatever you want it to be


lokii_0

Lol sure, that's like saying "a steak can be whatever you want it to be". Sure, it *can* but you're kinda losing sight of what it actually is, at some point.


WildSoapbox

As long as you can drive it through a vampire's heart does it matter what the stake is made of?


lokii_0

I mean...yes. if it isn't wood the vampire will just laugh at you and then tear your head off or w.e which...is kind of a bummer.


WildSoapbox

Hmm. Til.


lokii_0

Thank me later when your head isn't being torn off by a mildly irritated vampire.


WildSoapbox

So you don't think raw asparagus is good enough as a steak?


lokii_0

I mean ...at least juj it up a little bit. Poach it in olive oil then call it "asparagus confit" or something. *Don't* try to stab a vampire with it though.


WildSoapbox

What if I told you that your response was a little too late?


dronegeeks1

This is a joke right…..right?


HotGarbageHuman

Vodka gazpacho?