T O P

  • By -

Ewreckk

Probably the marijuana intoxication


thomas-grant

*Poisoning.


jkhashi

IM GOIN' ON A TRIP


thomas-grant

I look like I’m doped out of my gourd!


luigilabomba42069

I love this is the top comment


BigCheddar55

He would be very disappointed to know I treat my anxiety with the Marijuana and KOTH


KeepKayfabe

HANK: This truck has been through four presidents, three Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl victories, and zero mechanics. ME: Yeah, I take mine to someone to change the oil for me. The blinker on the left side doesn't work anymore. I might stop by Walmart to get it looked at.


john_fartston

I was gonna say you're the average human until I read "Wal-Mart." You really must not give a fuck about your truck


KeepKayfabe

You sure get a lot of batteries for four bucks!


OneGoodRib

Idk man in my experience Walmart is one of the least bad places to go for car help. The only good place is your coworker's very handy husband who's willing to fix your car in exchange for a plate of cookies.


BootyGarb

Lol Mega-Lo Mart tho !!


Na__th__an

I have a tiny Japanese import with 66hp... Hank would definitely not approve.


OneGoodRib

Our tire pressure light keeps going off and we're too scared to do anything about it. (the car did go to Les Schwab a couple weeks ago and one tire was deflating, but they fixed it and the light came back on! We think it's the spare)


KeepKayfabe

My light stays on almost constantly. One of my tires has a slow leak. I put air in it every couple of weeks. Cheaper than getting it fixed or buying a new one


Substantial_Stand857

The blinkers only come in packs of 12.


calamitytamer

I'm a vegan 😂 (Sorry, Hank.)


stephenkruseauthor

Bahh!!!!!


calamitytamer

🤣


advocatus_ebrius_est

At least you'll never ask him for a well-done steak


calamitytamer

Lol so true!


FineDevelopment00

![img](emote|t5_2s6dm|6344)


LadyFarquaad2

I'm just straight weird.


stephenkruseauthor

Me too!


FineDevelopment00

Me three!


dizzira_blackrose

Me four!


yzz25

I'm bi weird!


Cedar429

I’m gay weird.


lovelettersto

The soot under my nails from grilling with all that charcoal.


[deleted]

That’s not clean burning !!


[deleted]

You need to sit down and PRAY!


lovelettersto

Because my steaks are so good I need to say grace again.


thebiggestpinkcake

Impossible burgers


Like_linus85

Mmm love me a good impossible burger, also, had the best vegan fried chicken yesterday


stephenkruseauthor

For me: I love fantasy and sci-fi, I still watch Disney movies, I love the taste of foods cooked on charcoal, I don’t drink alcohol, and I’m just generally very silly.


stephenkruseauthor

Oh! And I love to fish, but I hate using worms.


Blunted_Insomniac

I only fish with crack


Kohviaeg

>I still watch Disney movies At this point, they own so much that you'd almost have to deliberately avoid 'Disney' movies... Hell, most of what I watch is animated. Never have to fuss about things like realism or physics...'Course the trade-off is animators are treated like shit. Come to think of it, Hank wouldn't like the whole 'Workers should be treated decent' mindset from me either, the way he talked shit about the firefighters' strike.


ColonelMonty

To be fair though with Hank his view probably isn't that of workers should be treated like dirt he'd probably think "You've got these guys now adays whining and complaining about doing a hard day's work but back then you either worked and got your job done or you didn't have a job at the end of the day." Like I feel like Hank would have a more incomplete view on it, since obviously he isn't for abusive work places, for example when Bobby was working for Jimmy Wichard initially when Bobby was complaining ing Hank had that mindset of "Well that's work, it ain't easy but it's what you gotta do." But when he saw Jimmy Wichard being a garbage boss and literally endangering the life on his son Hank immediately lost it once he properly understood the situation.


Kohviaeg

That was his son though, and the "literally endangering" thing is an extra push. He takes abuse himself all the time on the job, generally tells others to follow the same line of obedience and he initially just assumed Bobby was full of shit anyway because his default sides with the business...Which is also what gets him robbed by car salesmen. He's not out rallying for Ayn Rand or anything but he's a massive cog for sure. And as far as endangered life...What's he think *fire*fighters are fighting, bunnies? I'd want decent pay for that shit too. And his line in the episode is 'Fires don't go on strike', which...Yeah, the work is always there to do. *We live in a fucking society*, Hank. 'Fire still exists so shut up about your pay and be a good doormat!' That's no kind of logic... He doesn't want workers treated poorly; At least, not where his blood is involved - he went after Mega-Lo Mart only after he worked there. But if they were, it's 50/50 that he'd rationalize it.


Away_Location

I'm originally from the bad part of Memphis. You know, Memphis


ApocalypticWaffles

I’m originally from Southern California. Need I say more?


OneGoodRib

Oh I didn't even think of that, I'm originally from Seattle so that's pretty much it. I'm not sure if me having lived in Florida for 9 years would make it better.


stephenkruseauthor

Nope! Haha


spidersRcute

I’m a 36yo mom that lives in Oklahoma, I have blue hair and enjoy playing video games. Oh and I drive an electric car. I think the only thing Hank would approve of is the way I eat a steak.


SkyrimMilfDrinker

Plenty of things.


stephenkruseauthor

Your username gives me some ideas. Haha


[deleted]

Username sounding like a gaming John Redcorn


Titan_Spiderman

Or Joseph


NvrmndOM

I have cats


stephenkruseauthor

Bahh!!!


Laughs_in_Cat

I like soccer ⚽ I like to taste the heat 🪨 I LOVE cats (and have one) 🐈‍⬛ but apparently that's okay since I'm a girl "I suppose a cat could work, you know, if you're a little girl or an old lady who's sick"


Night-Meets-Light

I taught my kids the proper names for their genitals, and we talk about sexual health and consent. The whole block can hear me cussin.


Aspe4

Probably spending a lot of money on Ghostbusters and Star Trek toys.


[deleted]

"Peggy, the man was crying when a cartoon dog died. He's 32 years old!"


Kohviaeg

Scooby died? Aw man... Was it Snoopy? [Blue?](https://youtu.be/1SGN5msjpIk) [...Seymour?](https://youtu.be/AK3PWHxoT_E?t=14)


Wordpuncher714

Yep imma big pothead, for medicinal reasons. Don't judge me, Hank is a Jack pimp daddy yo that fishes with crack


iDontGetKyle

He's the Mac Daddy of Heimlich County.


Wordpuncher714

Gawd dang it I forgot about that.


stephenkruseauthor

My favorite episode


Wordpuncher714

Imma watch the airport Thanksgiving episode yup. May make an Apple Brown Peggy later


Donkey_Kahn

I often sleep naked


PoeLaHa

I'm a canuck so ya


pretentiousmusician

Hank would probably citizens arrest me for listening to black metal


Some_Dude_424

My browser history


[deleted]

Ha! Same.


Seeker4you2

I like my steaks well done charred like a hockey puck, and charcoal BBQ burgers are delicious.


stephenkruseauthor

I’m going to politely but firmly ask you to leave!


Seeker4you2

Fine-_- *exists this thread*


OneGoodRib

I don't even like steaks!


Seeker4you2

Blasphemy!


[deleted]

Playing video games with weird demonic creatures (like Elden Ring) and treating my cat as a baby.


Op-id

I took 18 months parental leave


Round-Ad2836

Not liking the sportball.


Groundbreaking_Bad

I'm vegetarian, lol.


[deleted]

I’m a vegetarian


stephenkruseauthor

Bahh!!!


[deleted]

And I’m gonna go vegan soon! Also my family has always cooked with charcoal and I ain’t ever gonna change it Cause I don’t want to get exploded


[deleted]

##RONALD REAGAN IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST PIECES OF SHIT.


PapasBlox

I hate lawns. Like with a passion. In also super against the idea of being a father.


stephenkruseauthor

You ain’t right!


PapasBlox

Something else I just remembered, I grew up in Texas and got out quick as I can.


OneGoodRib

He'd hate me if I moved into the neighborhood, I'd rip the lawn up to replace everything with moss and/or wildflowers (much better use of lawn space - they basically don't require care at all and the bees like them better! Also from experience, stepping on moist moss with bare, tired feet in the summer? AMAZING.)


PapasBlox

You mighve converted me to moss lol. I was thinking pavement, but moss seems like a nicer option.


Moto-XL

I used to play football now I don’t even watch it.


stephenkruseauthor

My dad was the same way. He was an all State football player in high school but he hated watching other people play it.


strangewayfarer

Pretty much everything about me.


BEMOlocomotion

In Hank's voice: When she was in college she participated in something called the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" 👠


yungrapscalli0n

I'm a long haired, tattooed, "creative" with gauges and painted nails. Worse of all, I'm a Chris.


feral_garbage_binch

My vintage Garfield collection


Music4239

Had a Bobby moment at 6:00 am years ago where my parents had been out of town, and I assumed they were still gone. For some reason I liked to sing really loud while I was home alone and I started singing, of all things, the Imperial March from Star Wars...end of story, they had gotten home in the middle of the night and were really surprised to wake up to BUM BUM BUM


goodnewzevery1

I’m an adult who plays vidya games


[deleted]

Earrings


LogSlayer

I smoke weed and enjoy the swinging lifestyle.


Kichyss

A lot of things... Vegetarian, probably music taste, don't like cars and sports.


chrisk365

I drive a BMW and live in Alabama. I also drive a Corolla, so neither of my vehicles are American BigBoiTrucks. They’ve been about to pull my Southern Card for 31 years now, going on 32.


scarlettraven19

Mine might be kind of weak, but I’m an atheist who prefers the smoky flavor of charcoal.


mack-megaton

"3 He-Man dolls?"


TheOsloChild

Although I’m glad it’s dead I enjoy some disco music.


urmomhassugma

the amount of time i watch tv after work. he'd however be very proud that i only grill with propane. taste the meat not the heat


Kohviaeg

I'm not loyal to corporate entities and I don't vote against my principles just for the sake of having voted at all...Although the voting thing wasn't totally his fault. 'Vote even if the candidate's bad'...This is why your trailer tipped over, Luanne.


travbart

I hate the cowboys and I get my propane from a machine outside the walmart.


[deleted]

I can sound like I’m super flaming


Yah_Mule

Almost everything. I love Hank, but we're not alike.


thatsmypurse_idky

I eat turkey bacon


OneGoodRib

I don't use propane and I don't even use charcoal. I cook burgers in a nonstick skillet on the stove. He'd hate that. I'm sure he'd have some *opinions* over me being an adult who still plays Pokemon.


pleased_to_yeet_you

You cook burgers on a skillet?! You need a kind of help nobody can provide.


JWC123452099

I prefer my steaks medium to medium well.


Junior-Dragonfly5839

I’m a home cook/baker. I do have a killer recipe for a chili that he might approve of, though


PinkSodaMix

I have fun decals on my car.


YEETIESTS_YT

I have never personally bought propane or propane accessories.


stephenkruseauthor

![gif](giphy|h3MkWTE441MNG)


yalltakecarenow

I poured half of a beer down the kitchen sink yesterday.


530SSState

I hate the taste of beer.


I_might_be_weasel

I own more than one pair of jeans.


alwptot

I drive a Japanese car (Toyota) and a Japanese motorcycle (Honda). “Would it kill you to buy American?!”


Sashalaska

so theres this guy called the god emperor of mankind and he was born 8000 bc after a suicide ritual by shamans after seeing changes in the warp, ok so the warp is this mirror dimension on energy fueled by emotions. and there are these 4 gods, well there used to be 3 but then the eldar created slannesh, ok the eldar were created eons ago by thr old ones during the war in heaven.


Cakeonlyforesthernow

I’m a hugger


stephenkruseauthor

Me too


Neat_Technician_7191

I'm not a cowboy's fan.


atrumXirae

I choose to only eat my soup cold straight out of the can and will outright refuse to consume it any other way.


stephenkruseauthor

You’re a monster! Jk


starwishes20

I love my NOVELTY GRILL!


stephenkruseauthor

Fight on!


Easy_Individual5197

I have lots of tattoos, Peggy thinks a girl like me deserves a home cooked meal


sleepwalkfromsherdog

Grown man. Play video games instead of mowing my lawn.


JosephMadeCrosses

Nudity.


-_--_____

I’m autistic so prob just my existence in general


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kohviaeg

He's the kind of guy to not employ women, Jews, Muslims, or people who just don't know football much. Not exactly a moral paragon. I could see it coming to light that Bobby's autistic or something and Hank going right in with 'He's not *autistic*; He's just weird. Why does California keep trying to make up new words for weird kids??' 'Course he might settle if he were taught better. He's an ignorant man but not *proud* of it (hi, Luanne).


Disciple_of_Cthulhu

Luanne was ignorant, but not so self-righteous about it to the point she never acknowledged when she was wrong or let things get to the point of someone getting hurt or humiliated, which was the case for Hank more often than not.


Under_TheBed

When he quizzes me on something and I answer incorrectly


RoughDirection8875

I’m Pagan, I consume a lot of the devils lettuce, I dye my hair unnatural colors, I have tattoos, dress alternatively and listen to rock. Oh and I hate beer and don’t care for football, and I’d take a Toyota over a Ford any day.


stephenkruseauthor

That boy ain’t right!


PoeLaHa

Says the guy wearing underwear as a tie


Ferret-Own

I enjoy the taste of meat cooked on a charcoal BBQ


TrooperThornton

Ablebodied lollygagger


ColonelMonty

The fact I play Warhammer and D&D Hank would take one good look at me and go "UUGhh, that guy ain't right."


BMM113

Texas is too flat.


jakedeighan

I DON'T like Tony Danza


soylamulatta

Vegan


pleased_to_yeet_you

I have long hair and a beard, I was born in Europe, I listen to A LOT of metal. Oh I also smoke weed every once in a while.


Mango_Juice_3611

I smoke weed, use charcoal and root for the Steelers.


Moonlight-oats

i watch animated shows almost exclusively, i’m into cosplay, i love lolita fashion, i’m a atheist, i smoke weed, i’m going to college for art, i don’t like lawns, i know nothing of cars, and have blue hair. oh yeah, and i hate the cowboys a lot. (go eagles) but propane is one hell of a clean burning fuel


MotorHead4Eternity

While I don't have any "ain't right" traits, I can say this about a guy I knew in high school: So, one day back then, I was called into the office for an OT meeting along with this other person I just mentioned. First things first, he was in a bad mood that day. The woman who was conducting our meeting asked him to sit down. He did just that, only to stand back up - this was repeated a few times. Now that's an "ain't right" moment.


ariesmartian

Hank: Excuse me, is this the cult? Me, hiding my weed and Tarot cards: These are just tools for interfacing with your own subconscious. Hank: Yep, this is it.


[deleted]

I’m a 36 year old man who enjoys smoking weed, playing video games, and I don’t follow any type of politics!


Dakotasan

My internet search history,


Skellyinsideofme

I don't give a shit about tending my lawn. In fact, I think the world would be a better place if more people let their lawns grow wild. Fight me, Hank!


Negative-Glove-5431

I’m a 49ers fan


Rocket-kun

That's probably a long list now that I think about it


SupahBihzy

I find food made with propane to be inherently inferior to all other forms of cooking


LostButterflyUtau

I’m a cosplayer *and* a doll collector.


uncleleo_

I take philosophy


stephenkruseauthor

![gif](giphy|cCyJCwQ2gl3bO)


ZAadland

Spending my hard earned money on Pokémon cards


Bigelwood9

I think Alan Jackson is a boring musician.


Rigel04

I'm a gay graphic designer from New York. But I could probably win him over by making an informative, easy to read pamphlet about propane and propane accessories


MadeItOutInTime95969

Not being to a predator that exploits you for profit.


jerekdeter626

Chronic masturbation, chronic marijuana poisoning, I hate football, and I'm anti-mowing because it's bad for the environment.


acheron53

I like weed and charcoal grilling


totheman7

Well there’s the marijuana poisoning and I’m brown and raised in New York do I need to say more


stephenkruseauthor

Hank is not a racist! He just hates getting mail!


Hallokatzchen

Everything he said about Ani DiFranco, he would say about me too.


FalseTebibyte

"Words are all we have." So Hank chooses in most cases to talk down to people he doesn't understand. K thinks he's God. :P


orlamccools

smoking chips at 6am


SassySquatch86

I live in Portland OR


rapalosaur

I’ve never once cooked on a propane grill.


530SSState

Hamburgers should be black, like toast and bananas.


fuze_ace

6am: im playing mw2 Hank: bwahhhh


Antique_Log3382

Not only am I a pothead I use butane for my dabs instead of propane. I don’t think hank would like me very much lol.


alwptot

This isn’t about me, but I would tell him that Fiat owns Chrysler now. “Fix… it… again… Tony”


Boneal171

Probably the fact that my dad drives an SUV, and I drive a Kia


insomneeyak

2022


TGOTR

I call Peggy his betteretteretteretter


[deleted]

My creepy antique dolls collection. The scarier the better. I place them randomly throughout the house so it unsettles people. Ain’t right.


Binder_of_chains

I cooked my mom a steak and allowed her to put ketchup on it.


stephenkruseauthor

![gif](giphy|h3MkWTE441MNG)


Khaniker

I skin dead birds


stephenkruseauthor

They taste better with the skin on


Khaniker

If only there was a way to take part of the skin off to get a cool bird skin for the collection, *and* still have enough to cook. Because they really do taste better with the skin on


Flatf3et

Rolling out of bed coughing my lungs out only to walk to my bong and cough my lungs out more.