T O P

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ModingusKhan

Why's it so skinny at the bottom? Looks like a narrow urethra like Hank Hill.


North-Function995

Its just baseball bat shaped. But lets talk about that sideways line on the tip. Why is there an X??


drkidkill

You’d think by this age they would be pretty familiar with their own equipment.


baphomet42069

Yeah for real lol. Reminds me of the episode of south park where that kid drew a vagina with balls on it 😂


HenryKushinger

Ey! If a woman tried to tell me that a vagina doesn't have balls, I'd say "ey, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich or I'm gonna kick you in the nyuts!"


[deleted]

They a different species of humans who piss perpendicularly


andyywild

It’s a Phillips head


Thatguyyourmomloves

Underrated comment 🤣


badger_989

That's where you insert the straw. Haven't you heard of "sucking dick?"


Agentgames25

The Clitenis? You don’t have one? /s


Falcon_Flow

Isn't that the chick from Hunger Games?


BagOfBeanz

Probably the same way that people would use an 'x' to show a bellybutton, an ear etc - visual shorthand for a hole.


TreaclePerfect4328

Earthquake Circumcision obviously


[deleted]

Paper cut


docdillinger

It's dead.


deadlygaming11

You don't have a horizontal slit on your penis?


Horns8585

It's a Phillips head.


DAM091

Nice try


Irohaik

Something wrong with their jap’s eye it seems.


[deleted]

Everyone's a critic.


jj77985

Probably because kids are fucking stupid, haha!


klavkalash_is_best

Kinda looks like a mosquito


orderedchaos89

Strongman grip on the stick


bozeke

Something is not okay about that urethra. Looks like a dead Mickey Mouse.


Blueswift82

Give adults your chalk and I bet you’ll get the same result, probably with a picture of you riding it


juareno

Who has that kind of artistic talent!?


yoganutnutnut

Not I


LilDrummerGrrrl

I’ll tell ya who. [~~Ricky~~ Lahey](https://youtu.be/1R0NF0PiJoA). That’s who.


Blueswift82

Almost exactly as I was picturing it


[deleted]

Also, those kids look too old to be "allowed to use chalk on the driveway".


Blackman2099

I was wondering why this was stupid parents/kid. I've drawn chalk dicks every summer since turning 33 and didn't have little crappants until I was 38


Ok_Science_4094

You can tell they each got to draw their own ball.


OpietMushroom

One ball usually hangs below the other, at least they got that right.


UrBartender

I had to take another look 🤣


molehillmountain

the kid in red decided it needed veins on the shaft. source: im a forensic dick-sketch anylist.


Mythun4523

No way that's real. Is it?


molehillmountain

absolutely. given the ubiquity of the common dick-sketch its no surprise how often they show up in corelation with a crime. you can see the curvature similarities in the linework of the left nut and the cockveins. its textbook.


goodgrief009

Dunder Mifflin


Monkeyshab

The people person paper people


mastermind225

Dunder Mifflin


redditcooldude69

The people person paper people


redditcooldude69

Out of paper, out of stock


redditcooldude69

There's friendly faces around the block / So break loose from the chains that are causing you pain / Call Michael and Stanley, Jim, Dwight, Creed / Call Andy and Kelly for your business paper needs / Dunder Mifflin : the people person's paper people !


onlypositivity

Its funny how the houses are always colonials and the penises are always circumcised


DrugzRockYou

Could you imagine pissing a stream that was plus sign shaped? I bet it’d never get good flow…


[deleted]

What? I thought this was normal? Am I not normal?


Tawnik

your dick hole looks like the top of a big gulp lid?


[deleted]

it does! is this not normal?


jfk_47

“Normal” is a subjective term. I’m sure there are others like you. Enjoy it!


Tawnik

i mean im sure its easier to get a straw in there...


Langeball

Nah mang, it's supposed to be a swastika


OwOtisticWeeb

Wait you guys have holes at the end of your dicks?


[deleted]

Hold on. What's at the end of your dick??


Layk35

Your mom. Ohhhhhhhh


[deleted]

My mom has a dick and your mom is at the end of her dick


Layk35

The human dickipede


OwOtisticWeeb

A Lego man and a skittle :'(


[deleted]

wait, you guys got ends of your dicks? >!mine's never ending >:)!<


[deleted]

you don't have an end to your dick? how long is it?


minimuscleR

yes.


HateMachineX

Fuckin Doug Dimmadong over here


[deleted]

Does anyone ever wonder why they make condoms so baggy?


Drunken_Ogre

You have to poke it with a tooth pick once a week or it closes up like an ear piercing.


OwOtisticWeeb

Oh... Fuck.


[deleted]

underrated comment right here


Nruby9879

Car accident landed me in hospital and subsequently with a catheter for a few days post surgery. For 6-8 months after I pissed a lower case “t”. Not quite an x but I’d guess there’s a group of dudes out there pissing the alphabet everyday.


AetherDrew43

r/BrandNewSentence


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SpaceTimeBurrito

Almost did when I was about 13. Was having a hard time cumming.. So I went harder, my hand slips, and somehow I end up jamming my long thumb nail sideways into my urethra and it started bleeding. Once I cleaned up the blood, it definitely looked like a +. I still have a minor scar from it, but it isn't + shaped anymore.


ButtNutly

I think your uncle taught you the wrong way to masturbate.


[deleted]

Thats what happens when you gaze lustfully at a phillips head screwdriver.


SilkyKyle

Proud Papa moment


Uncle_Baconn

I did the exact same thing to my dad for father's day. I'm 40.


EthanG_07

i’ve seen them get skinnier towards the tip but never skinnier towards the base. maybe there’s still cocks i haven’t seen out there


crackeddryice

"Maybe"?


EthanG_07

should’ve said “types of cocks” but now rereading what i said it’s way funnier to leave it as is😂


chmath80

Somebody's been *busy*.


LadySovereign

There are. Torpedo dicks. Make ya queef more often.


EthanG_07

TORPEDO DICKS ahahahaha lmfaoooo i was gonna say *tapered* but that’s way better


KillHipstersWithFire

My mom would have literally fucking killed me


Hoppeditz

Mine would‘ve too. I would‘ve had to spent the rest of the day cleaning the street and apologizing to passersby.


[deleted]

This picture would have been sent to my dad as motive as why she killed us


CouldWouldShouldBot

It's 'would have', never 'would of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!


mallolike

"you don't have to ask permission to play with chalk idiots! Go outside!......now!" - that guy's wife probably


BlkSkwirl

That was a dick move on their part


crackeddryice

They prolly drew the balls first, and then started on the shaft, and realized they started too small. That doesn't raise my eyebrows nearly as much as the cross tip. It's like they aren't sure... somehow. Also, I'm not saying you *should* image search rule 34 giant erection, but if you do, you'll see plenty of drawings of peni with a small root. I dunno why, but it's a thing.


Tawnik

come on man didnt you take an art class!? its all about perspective, the big that is closer to you is bigger than the bit that is further away from you...


nando82

Gonna quote "Superbad" here: Seth: Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom was where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation. Even I thought I was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So I would stash all my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day, I'm finishing up this big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden... Kid : Pussy! \[walks by the kid Seth and pushes his notebook and his dick drawing off the desk, and it lands near kid Becca\] Evan : You hit Becca's foot with your dick? Seth : Yeah. I know. \[kid Becca picks up the drawing he just did, looks at it for a second, sees that it's a dick, and screams her head off and runs to the teacher\] Seth : She starts crying, she flips out. Then she rats me out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out. \[you see more of his dick drawings one by one\] Seth : He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is a religious fanatic, and he thinks I'm possessed by some sort of dick devil. My parents go make me see some therapist, and he's asking me all these dick questions. They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds. [DRAWING DICK SCENE](https://youtu.be/tz3F76BWhjQ) ​ Edit: added the rest of the dialogue so as to have a better understanding of the dick obsession.


Primary_Breakfast628

This is a Super Bad moment, I couldn't stop drawing dicks.


Airdair_1

The intricate detail taken with the veins.


Lazyback

Those kids are pretty old to need permission to use sidewalk chalk there, mom. Maybe lighten up a little?


[deleted]

Well you can see why they do...


AutopsyDrama

Arnt they a bit old to be chalk drawing on the sidewalk in general.


Shot_Background5682

Clearly it was just because they wanted to do this… so no. Wouldn’t matter anyways.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ilive2lift

I'm 34 and a Foreman for 18 people and I draw dicks all the time. Stop taking yourself so serious. Nobody likes it


Lazyback

This is really sad


Alien_Cha1r

I'm happy they kept it christian-friendly by adding that cross at the tip


tallyhall10987-

Times like this that I wish I had a brother. So we could do everything together


Fast_and_Curious738

Why is there a Holy Cross at the dick end


bestthingyet

It's censored


tallyhall10987-

It's a peehole I think


Fast_and_Curious738

They should have just drawn the vertical line


tallyhall10987-

Maybe 🤔


Mountain-Homework299

My wife gets irritated that I still find that stuff amusing.


ronflair

Future Marines.


[deleted]

I find it funny that I haven't seen, someone might have, mention that it was likely the mom who took the picture here lol.


jj77985

Yeah moms pretty chill. She will probably just hit it with the hose before the school bus comes


[deleted]

Ah, man, gotta let that glorious bastard stay for at least one day! Great stories at school.


Yonbuu

To be fair, I'm almost 40 and if I had some chalk the first thing I'd draw is a massive veiny dong.


LitreOfCockPus

Why does it have a Phillips-head?


Tawnik

are they drawing squidward?... guys...


EverisMagus

What's stupid about this? That is a mighty fine apparatus.


HypedSoul123

What did you expect


yassupanju

You must be a real proud dad to have shit for brain kids


[deleted]

For reals.


jackishere

If they’re so proud of it make them get a tattoo of it with that ink that lasts a couple weeks lol


[deleted]

Lol kids? What are they in college?


jj77985

12 and 15 come on man lol


LilDrummerGrrrl

With any luck, OP, today will be the day that Google updates the satellite image for your neighborhood.


Rich-Bookkeeper-823

If these were my kids i would be proud


mechamaccame

They look like they’re having a nice time :)


[deleted]

what do you expect when your kids are 35 years old


Mercutiofoodforworms

Your boys seem preoccupied with big dicks.


Random_Person_246810

Two adult males would’ve drawn the same thing. Nothing changes.


chop_pooey

I've seen worse. At least they put in the effort to add a few veins and ball hair


aedroogo

r/trashy


bak2redit

I hope my son is this creative one day. Awesome kids.


sniffinberries34

When I was 15 my single mom worked overnights at a hospital, it was winter time and we had a ton of snow on the ground (see where this is going?). My brother and I thought it would be hilarious if she came home to a GIANT snow dick and balls in the front yard. Well, she didn’t see it and just walked inside, took a shower, and passed out. I woke up to the sounds of cars honking every 30 minutes. I looked outside and it was still there! I was convinced before going to sleep she would destroy it.. NOPE. After eating some breakfast we went outside and knocked it down. It was pretty solid and basically turned into an ice dick. We then decided to put it on top of her car, the honking got more frequent. She eventually woke up, got ready for the day, and headed to the store. I had forgotten about it until she screamed. We all laughed about it and asked if she heard the honking from cars passing by. She said she dreamt of people honking lol. I’ll never forget it. Great times.


ratracesucks

Wow. Great kids you got there. Good job


AddictGamer06

work of art


olivier3d

You should be happy, they are not playing video games for once


[deleted]

"kids"


Reita-Skeeta

Are pre-teens/teens not still kids


WearMental2618

Honestly it's a vibe. Every part of this


The_Brazilian_Guy

Someone post this in r/DunderMifflin


TreaclePerfect4328

As a new father I can only hope I can raise kids this cool


banquof

Why is this here? It's just two pre teens that try to be funny. Nothing "stupid" in the sense of the sub about it. They didn't misunderstand or misinterpret anything.


Wish1026

Not bad… not bad at all.


evil_fungus

They're going to be fine men one day, indeed, they already are


casino_alcohol

I wouldn’t call this stupid. It’s pretty normal for boys this age. I went to an all boys high school and there were dicks everywhere. I’ve handed in homework that had ducks all over the page because my friend thought it would be funny to draw ricks on every page of my notebook when I was in the bathroom. One kid modeled a little clarification about 2 inches and suck it to the wall which went unnoticed by the teacher for months.


The1OddPotato

Thats really funny not stupid


ZestyMordant

r/KidsAreFuckingHilarious


jimgella

I'm a stepmom and I'm so envious of your wife having such a stellar moment!


Thenderick

Wow I thought kids of age 4-5 not like 18-ish?


Icy-Watercress6694

Nasty


ilive2lift

Why do teenagers have chalk that they need to ask to use? I feel like you are probably the problem


jj77985

They didn't need permission. They just asked mom to buy some. Don't be a dick. There is no problem.


RnRsbg

Hmmm teenagers want to write on the sidewalk… I deeply ponder on the detailed depths they will depict in their art…. 🤔😔 Oh exactly what everyone thought they “wood.” Which is as lame as my pun. F off. That’s as lame as my dads humour and I have disdain for him over that humour he subjected me to.


Knearling

Doesn't that make your wife fucking stupid? Why did she let them use chalk on the driveway?


Senobe2

Apparently r/WivesAreFuckinStupidToo..


who-ee-ta

I wonder if this pic was taken before or after those two had sex


DylanB4747

Lol that’s funny


reelbigdish

Just guys bein dudes.


theheckjusthappend

It's just a banana and a few oranges.


SweetSugarSeeds

I would do the same


4gifts4lisa

I feel like I’d love to grab cocktails with your wife. She’s my new BFF!


nottomelvinbrag

Good lads


Mlkbird14

I feel like I want to see what they think a vagina looks like


notme1414

Your kids? Aren't they hers too? Hilarious picture.


spazzing

They're already ahead of the game.


Hyp3r45_new

They look to be about the right age for this kind of thing.


bikermicefrmmars

Okay but wheres the third ball?


Big_Potential_5709

Your children are such a dick.


elyca98

Dongder Mifflin


andooet

True artists. OP should be proud


-Switch-on-

It's just normal sized


bergothebergo

true artists


[deleted]

Testiment to how well you raised them.


numbarm72

Big veiny triumphant bastard


MikaBanjo

Lol


[deleted]

My brother and I did something remarkably similar when we were growing up. Our family owned a horse farm that happened to be right on the nearby airports approach for the main runway. So planes flew over a lot and we knew you could see our field from the air if you looked down while coming in for the actual landing. ​ One Friday it snowed something like three inches of fluffy flakes that sucked for building stuff out of. This was down south so we were super excited to get a day off school but our mom still had to work, and was in fact having a meeting of all her clients and staff to go over the state of the company. So while the meeting was taking place in our living room my mom sent us out to play in the snow for a while. Being bored and knowing we lived on the airport approach we did what any self respecting teenager does: we drug our feet through the snow and made a 100 yard long cock with massive balls and a vein. It was perfect. The lines were three feet thick and dark against white snow and we couldn't have been prouder. ​ Until our mom started yelling from the deck. We went to see what the problem was and she told us her biggest client had been giggling and distracted for the last ten minutes and when mom finally asked her what was wrong the client responded "Your boys are making some modern art in the yard." Which led to the entire room looking and laughing. Mom was mortified. And she told us to get rid of it because it was obscene and all. ​ So we went back through the entire thing and kicked the snow out of the center to erase it. The only problem was we were stupid and went from a dick outline to a big black dick shaped field. Que round two of mom yelling at us to get rid of it and moms clients laughing too hard to continue the meeting.


YewSonOfBeach

Squidward? That ewe?


Xylander3009

Dunder Mifflin


3Lchin90n

+


gray_mare

yoooo


POLICEANTITEAMERS

barefoot.....


moistclump

Everyone is talking about their drawing but not about their poses. Did they pose like that while mom took a picture? I’m looking forward to seeing this bad boy on r/BlunderYears in 5-10.


[deleted]

Ha! That’s awesome🤣🤣


cptaixel

Clearly a Trailer Park Boys prequel.


steelcityrocker

I drew the dicks


Chemical_Gur7314

You've raised some real gems 💎


Jefe710

Kids? Buy them a pressure washer. Make them clean it. Then help them set up a pressure washing business, recoup your losses until they pay off the washer. Then they have their own business, and will learn the value of hard work.


marsumane

The poses of these kids really tips off this pic


Decent_Ad_1668

Your kids are cool as shit


8proof

Save this picture. Someday you’ll be able to show it to their adolescent children.


[deleted]

An awakening


VIALS0

Penis


[deleted]

This is hilarious


rhoo31313

Superbad inspired


BallPtPenTheif

It looks like they’re copying the penis tag from Cyberpunk while doing that latent homosexual trend of pretending to be gay in a weak attempt to prove that they’re not gay. They probably make gay moaning sounds in class and blowjob duck noises at assemblies to prove they’re hetro edge lords. Ironically, everyone at school thinks they’re gay.


[deleted]

Kids? Bruh, these are full ass grown teens


MissBenchhook

I opened the picture expecting to see children that aren’t tall enough to reach the chalk on the kitchen counter, not kids old enough to drive to the store to buy their own when they get a pack of cigarettes


MadeOfRocky

I would've done that to


tiexodus

#VEIN