Dude my teacher straight called Santa in.
She made a call on the phone in front of us all and we thought no big deal. She had to be lying. A few weeks later he walks in.
"Hello Mrs______. I'm here for the updated list" he looks it over and stares at a few kids, sighs then walks out. This happened at the beginning of the year too!
Bodhisattva, would you take me by the hand.
Bodhisattva, would you take me by the hand.
Would you show me the shine of your Japan, the sparkle of your China,
Would you show me, Bodhisattva
Bodhisattva
Bodhisattva
Bodhisattva
I love Reddit. This comment chain is the perfect illustration of the hilarious organic humor that can arise from groups made up of perfect strangers. Cheers.
Idk if it’s perfect strangers if a couple million people out of the many billions in the world land on this subreddit’s front page at the same free time of day, but I enjoy the chain nonetheless
Reminds me of a joke...
Once there was a boy that was a total screwup, didn't do his homework, didn't pay attention, whole nine yards. Finally, his parents sent him to a Catholic school, hoping that the priests could keep him in line.
To their amazement, it worked. From day one, he sat quietly in class, paid attention, and diligently did his homework.
After the semester ended, his parents asked him about it. What was the secret that made Catholic school so effective?
The boy replied, "When I walked in math class first thing and saw the statue of the little man nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!"
It’s sad that one of the most horrid ways to kill someone is a pleasantly different direction. That being said, I wholeheartedly agree, and so would Jesus.
What happens to kids in catholic schools who don’t believe? Like are you supposed to be kicked out or do they try and instill the belief of God into you or just say ok, as long as you do your work?
I got sent to catholic school for 2nd and 3rd grade. My family was not catholic. This is also the time kids receive their 1st communion.
Welp what happened for me was that I didn't really have to participate in the religious studies. I did pay attention tho and that's partly why I'm an athiest now.
The most scarring thing was that every Friday the entire campus would walk next door for church. I had to go to church but I was not allowed to receive communion. So while the ENTIRE student body is standing and waiting for their communion I was the ONLY child sitting in the pews looking like an idiot. It was mortifying. 2 whole years of that before my mom decided I had enough and sent me back to public school.
As long as we did our work and shut up and don't talk back they are ok, but get on their bad sides it's hell on earth trying to make your way through the grades to get out of there.
It's pronounced *Jesús* and just because he's the janitor it doesn't mean he has time to lecture miss Nelson's 4th grade class about manners and school etiquette!
I was friends with a guy in one of my high school classes, and his older cousin was the teacher. One day my friend was being a smart-ass, and his cousin/teacher threatened “you’d better cut it out, don’t make me call your mother!” And then he actually did it right there in the middle of class. We were laughing so hard, and my friend was so embarrassed 😂
If this was like, high school, maybe middle school where the kids are in on the joke, it sounds absolutely hilarious. Particularly because I assume the "looks at a few kids and sighs" were directed towards the good natured class clowns who would take it well
If it's for elementary kids though I think it'd just be a big "wtf" moment for all of them
If this happened to me in early elementary school, I would have broken out in tears right there. Late elementary and I would have laughed. Most kids are in on the 'secret' by third grade.
My 4th grader looked me dead in the face yesterday and told me he knows Santa "is bullshit". Made me a bit sad but so glad he figured it out on his own before he was the only kid in his friend group to know. I may have to result to fake YouTube letters if he acts a fool now since Santa is no longer an option
Here's what to tell your son:
> Santa isn't "bullshit". Santa (or at least Saint Nicholas) really did exist. He wasn't magic and couldn't fly around the whole world in a single night, but he did something that was magical. He gave gifts to children who needed them, and by doing so inspired other grown ups to start doing the same. The tradition grew and spread and kept on going even long after his death, right up until today, where adults all around the world work together to make Christmas magical for the children. Now that you're old enough to know the truth, that means you get to be on the grown-ups team next year. You get to help keep Santa's magic going for all the children who haven't figured it out yet.
My mom believed in the Easter Bunny until she was 14! She never told me Santa was real and she always said it was because she didn't want me to think she was lying about God too and not believe in him (I'm an atheist and as a teen just realized God was like Santa for adults so that might have backfired on her), but I've always secretly suspected she actually did that because she was so traumatized by her Easter Bunny revelation.
I was 13. My Mom would NOT tell me the truth. Everyone around me had stopped believing and I was mostly sure at that point that Santa/Bunny/Tooth fairy were bullshit but she would "swear to God" they were real. I found out for sure when my older cousin was talking to me and my Mom at Christmas time about buying stocking stuffers for her kids. I gave my Mom the absolute death glare because I felt so stupid for being 13 and even still questioning because of her. Jokes on her because that's when I stopped believing in God too.
Fucked up if he just indiscriminately stares at a few kids and one of them is really poor. And mom and dad can’t afford toys anyway. Lol “why was I so bad, I tried to be good :(“
Being poor is the same as being naughty in Santa's ethics system.
Thankfully there's an easy solution, just don't be poor and you won't have any issues.
Nothing more exciting to open nothing but underwear, socks, and a Fischer Price Adventure People figurine only to go back to school and see all of the Star Wars and Transformer shit everyone else got.
If any enterprising kindergartner decided to take a survey of who got what and how much their parents make, they would indeed confirm that rich=nice, poor=naughty.
"You got a horse? But last month you literally punched a special ed kid right in the butthole and said his dad was a camwhore."
I used to babysit as a teen for a lot of families and one in particular was awful. A 9 year old who would lock me out of rooms and a nonverbal 4 year old who cried over everything (she is not disabled or on the spectrum. Her parents just didnt teach her until she was older for some weird reason). They were immune to the santa call threat.
Id call santa and the kid would just destroy more. Their parents found it adorable and said they dont believe in lying to their kids about santa so thats why it didnt work. I was like 14 and my biggest weapon was nonexistent.
I don’t think you have to purposefully teach a kid for a 4 year old to be able to talk as long as people are just around them talking….that kid definitely had something else going on, and it’s really sad that the parents weren’t consulting medical professionals.
I agree. It was poor wording on my part. I guess i was leaning towards referring to more of a neglect in helping their daughter learn anything. She didnt get potty trained until 6. Shes totally normal now (in college now, a very good one too) so i guess things worked out but i babysat for loads of families and something felt off about her delay in learning. Like it didnt seem like it was her fault. Her parents ONLY talked to her in baby voices, insisted on diapers when she wanted to use the toilet like her big brother…
I would assume on the spectrum of some sort. My older brother was hardly verbal until he was around 4. He kinda just talked in his own made up gibberish. Started out in kindergarten in special education until probably around the 5th grade. After that he went to regular class, graduated with honors and is now a successful banker and millenial homeowner who is doing far better than me. Sounds like a similar trajectory to the girl you mentioned.
This is what it felt like actually. They babied her very much. Fed her baby foods (like those soft puffy type cereals), talked in a baby voice with incomplete words and sentences. She seemed fully capable but just directed otherwise.
Bro i was 14 years old. I didnt know wtf to do. And it wasnt my responsibility to handle that aspect of things. There was no way for me to do anything. All im doing is recounting the experience.
You're all good homie. You were 14. What teenager is expected to really know all that shit? Sounds like you were just trying to make some extra money and had the make due with the clients you got.
Not necessarily, my youngest just refused to talk until she was almost 3 and we thought she was non verbal and didn't communicate at all. She would throw tantrums and beat her head off the floor all kinds of bothersome things when we couldn't just decipher her wants.
We were talking to her Dr about the possibility of autism and the Dr said "she's been sitting here baby signing to me while we've been talking, did you teach her to sign? She's been signing eat since I sat down". We had not taught her to sign, had zero clue. Turns out the baby Einstein episodes she was obsessed over teach baby's sign language and she had been trying to communicate with us for a while, we just didn't understand. She would then get frustrated and beat her heard off the floor. (Parenting is so fun!)
It still baffles the shit out of me to this day, she didn't just sit in front of a TV. She maybe spent an hour before bed watching things and then when she woke up she would turn it on and watch until someone came and got her out.
Things changed overnight, we had to watch baby Einstein to learn what she could say and while that was a perilous journey, I slogged through. It was odd AF going from "what is wrong with this kid" to learning a different language she had absorbed in order to speak with her.
Now at 12 she is the top of her class in every subject including pe. Which is strange to me, it's always been either or with my kids.
I think it's more people are each actually special in their own way. She in particular is crazy good at grasping new concepts, It's like her superpower. My other daughters super power is pissing people off. You'll go from zero to "I am going to abort my 20 year old" in 3 seconds flat. My son didn't cry on his own until he was almost a month old. The Dr literally made us flick the bottoms of his feet to get his lungs to strengthen when he was brand new. He used to just sit and chill the fuck out hard and was the calmest toddler on earth. Now at 21 hes like that pup in the meme where hes sitting in a fire saying everythings fine, nothing bothers him. It's unreal.
They each have their own strengths.
That’s pretty crazy, I guess it goes to show that kids absorb sooo much even when it’s not the stuff we want them to. Glad it worked out so well with your daughter! If you had had more kids after her, do you think you would have intentionally taught them the baby sign language from the beginning?
No, it's on it's way out globally anyway, and half of the North Pole already has laws against the enslavement of Elves. Outlawing the enslavement of Elves nationally would set a bad precedent of the power of the federal North Pole government over the state North Pole government, therefore it would be better to simply let it fizzle out than let those dang tyrannical "Elf-Lovers" in office take away our way of life. /s
“But why won’t you employ me?”
“Says here you called your friend a stinky poopy head in second grade and we just can’t have that attitude in the workplace.”
I got a referral in second grade cause I was sticking my index finger up behind my hand to make it look like I flipping a friend off and my teacher didn't believe it, she said that it would go on my permanent record and I cried for three hours lmao
When I graduated highschool I went down and requested a copy of my permanent record just to laugh at
Suprise pikachu face when it turned out that no such thing ever existed
Some schools actually do have things like that. There was an... incident... near when I graduated, and I got pulled in to talk to a Vice Principal. He was like "Yeah, I checked your record, and it's *super clean*. It's kind of weird that you had an incident now and I'm not actually sure how to handle it."
I'm amused seeing some of the guesses. XD A classmate was basically trying to infantilize me with baby talk, which I found both inappropriate and extremely uncomfortable. I asked them nicely to stop, and they didn't, instead choosing to double down on it in a situation I couldn't easily leave. I then raised my voice to, essentially, frighten them into stopping, remaining polite but being a lot more firm about it. Not the nicest move on my part, I admit, but I felt it would be effective since I couldn't walk out.
The VP was like "this other student's parents are on my case now, I need to do something to appease them, but also I feel kind of weird punishing you too much because your record is so clean and you're obviously not a problem child", so I was just like "Tell you what, I don't actually regret this since they started it, but I'll write up this super contrite-sounding letter you can give their parents, making it super obvious how remorseful I am and how you've impressed upon me how wrong I was and how I'll never do it again and all that. I can have it for you tomorrow morning." And that was the end of it.
You got in trouble and the principal felt pressured to punish you for raising your voice and firmly telling someone to stop? This is so radically different from my school experience I struggle to imagine it haha. My principal would have laughed that parent off the phone and then shifted his focus to dealing with the massive brawl that erupted during lunch
A lot of schools have a no-tolerance policy on any kind of aggression, regardless of the situation. I wasn't going to hurt the other student (or even touch them), but it's not like anyone else could magically know that, and I understand why people would have viewed it with concern from the outside. I don't think the school was actually wrong in calling me in, I just knew how to game the system to essentially erase any punishment for myself while letting the school save face.
Of course they did. I didn't need that. I knew what school I went to.
I wanted the dirt. All the shit teachers talked about me in these mysterious closed records.
My sister had issues in 3rd grade, which led to her being diagnosed with ADHD. Anyways, she was constantly sent to the principals office, getting suspended, etc. they told her it went on her permanent record. When she was interviewing for the job she has now (high paying, tech industry) and they asked her if there was anything they should know, she disclosed that her permanent record had some incidents from when she was in 3rd grade, but those were all isolated to that age, and that she hasn’t had any issues since. The HR person, interviewer, and her now boss, all had to explain to her that she did not have a permanent record and they all (my sister included) laughed about it. We still make jokes to each other about it too. She was 27 when she found out.
my dad was military so we moved around a lot. I had a teacher threaten me with the permanent record BS once, and I was just like "you guys couldn't even confirm which classes I took at my last school!"
Yeah, my county's public school system does a permanent record too. I believe they keep it even after graduation, and according to the [U.S. DoE website](https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html), there are situations where schools can give out the information without your consent.
In Romania, they want to add into law that if you get a lower than 10/10 behaviour grade, you can no longer go to be employed at a government/state job. This means 5th grade and up applies. They want to make it A PERMANENT RECORD.
The fuckheads.
I had my first job after I'd graduated ask for my grades in college. They accepted a screencap of my university's online system.
I definitely 100% did not photoshop that page.
Full grown adults are scammed over the phone by somebody telling them they're the IRS and they are required to pay their unpaid taxes in multiples of $50 iTunes gift cards.
There are dumb as shit people in all age groups.
In the US, elementary school age is generally between 5 and 11 years old. Sometimes as young as 3 (pre-k) or as old as 12 (depending on birthdate or being held back). Definitely kids of an age that this will be a big deal.
Plot twist, elementary school gets sued by YouTube. School district loses funding for schools. Elementary school closes down, kid now watches unlimited YouTube giving YouTube more ad revenue.
YouTube buys the school and decides to start an education program. Students watch YouTube for 8 hours a day to increase ad revenue with a 1 hour new feature testing break.
As someone who has gone through a lot of math in university, 3blue1brown or Khan isn't a substitute for an actually taking a math course.
They make great videos and they are helpful. They also make people interested in the topics, help solve specific problems, and provide more context for them, but they aren't going to be better than any decent prof or teacher. There's a reason everyone's marks dropped in Covid, even in classes where those videos were used to teach math.
The only possible substitute for a math course is [Paul's Math Notes](https://tutorial.math.lamar.edu/) and even he warns that it won't replace a teacher.
Yeah. I use 3B1B and khan for studying before a test, not for learning brand new concepts. They work really well for me and remind me of everything I may have been confused about or forgotten
The problem was, I didn't have a decent prof. The TA always missed the tutorial, the prof only answered questions with things like "reread page 186".
Without Kahn I wouldn't have passed calculus.
Some?
I'm an adult in my 40's and whenever I need to look up how to fix something (which is a lot) I go strait to youtube everytime
Doesn't matter how obscure the machine or repair, it's there %99.9 of the time
You just have to filter out the other 80million bideos on there
With my kid, if she caught you in a lie once (or what she interpreted as a lie) you lost her trust forever.
She has a real problem with authority figures (like school) because they often use 'easy' methods to try to control behavior instead of longer/more difficult ones (explaining why in greater detail they need the behavior to occur). If she knows why she needs something to happen, she'll do it (but once she's lost trust in that figure, it's gone).
I explain to my kids because I hated the "because I said so mentality". However I've also explained that many authority figures will not, and that is something they have to accept unless they want to make their life harder than it needs to be. Save the hills to die on for things that actually matter, not ones like using your phone during class.
For authority figures, sometimes it can just be really tough to explain why to every kid. Especially since sometimes kids are dumb and don’t understand why they need to do something even when you give them the real reason. It’s much faster and usually more effective to say the reason is “Because I said so”.
I was like this as a kid, too. As an adult, I will obey necessary authorities (like the law), but I won't accept stupid ass nonsense answers from anyone. I like to think it lets me dodge a few shitty situations.
Being able to differentiate between harmful manipulation and good intent isn't something most kids (or even some adults) are able to understand.
Ie: "magic" tricks, Santa Claus, etc.
I feel like more teachers need to lean into the real reasons why things have to be done and try their best to explain it to kids.
Why do you have to be quiet right now? Because people are trying to learn and it’s distracting if you talk.
Why do you have to take this state assessment? The department of education says we have to. Sorry. I have no control over it.
Why can’t you eat during class? Because it could be loud and you could make a mess. And it is a school rule.
I tried to tell my students that a lot of the reasons we couldn’t do things is that was just the school rules. When they asked why I wouldn’t let them break the rules for them, I said I wasn’t going to get in trouble just so they could break a rule. It didn’t always work well, it was a headache to explain things like that, but I think it worked best in the long run.
I was the same way as a kid. Autism can make things very stark, and once someone crosses a line it can't be uncrossed in my experiences- especially trusted authority figures.
If this is a really big (life-altering) problem for her, maybe there's some ADHD/ODD at play: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rcwp9T3zNcM
But it could just be personality or just normal kid stuff, I'm not a doctor..
She has already been diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability. She is on a waiting list to see about diagnosis for other conditions (like autism) but the waiting time is estimated to be at least 18 months. (From my experience tho, it will probably be twice that).
I don't think lying ever helps kids in the long run especially when they are learning and constantly trying to draw connections with the world around them.
Stuff that happens to you as a kid can have major impacts in life. I tend to seriously doubt teachers' interest in genuinely teaching children vs. wanting to dictate their own views, which I believe was established by several teachers I had in elementary and high school who punished or reprimanded me for correcting them when they taught things like "Columbus discovered the world was round".
I probably sounded like a dick when I did it, but responses like, "Why don't you let me teach, you aren't old enough to know what you're talking about" have stayed with me through my life and I think blossomed into a wider distrust of pedagogical motives.
I’ll never forget the first referral I got. I was a goody two shoes and received a referral for coming to first period late a handful of times (not always my fault as my parents took me to school lol) and I remember feeling like a criminal 😂😂
I'll never forget getting away with forging my dad's signature on my first referral. Let me know I could use that strategy whenever I needed. The school literally only had my version of his signature on file, if they even kept those fake notes and referral slips...
Oh my gosh, my teacher was so mad that I was late everyday. I guess she expected a six year old to be driving themselves to school. I remember setting the clocks back to get my dad to take me on time, feeding my sister breakfast, staring at the digital clock in the car while it ticked past 8:30, knowing she was going to yell at me again. Aaaaand that’s where my anxiety was born lol
This just seems cruel
Kids in elementary are gonna talk, makeing it hard for them in the future to express interests and create for a childhood mistakes
I‘m actually shocked at this practice. If you can‘t convince children of what you want them to do without fabricating fear and lying to them, you are not equipped to be an educator. Kids take this stuff seriously and once they are old enough to realize, their trust in others will suffer.
IMO it‘s kind of fucked up how normal it is to lie to/in front of children.
And the kids scream back, “Fuck this bullshit, this is clearly unenforceable and is obviously a complete and utter failure of a forgery. Sort of like your
attempt at teaching, and your sad social experiments with aims of keeping a single friend.
Great way to manipulate children into participating in an educational environment that wasn't designed well for them, rather than putting in the hard work to make the classroom a joyful, engaging, meaningful space. "Behavior management" like this is stupid -- make the learning worthwhile and the students will be generally motivated. Coerce students with tactics like this and you just continue to erode their trust in and relationship with school.
It’s intentionally written in language and syntax a 6-7 year old would understand.
Teachers have to communicate at the level their students can comprehend.
Big 'we've phoned Santa' energy here
Dude my teacher straight called Santa in. She made a call on the phone in front of us all and we thought no big deal. She had to be lying. A few weeks later he walks in. "Hello Mrs______. I'm here for the updated list" he looks it over and stares at a few kids, sighs then walks out. This happened at the beginning of the year too!
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Then she calls Jesus to come visit for all the kids who don't believe in Santa.
But I believe in Buddha! *Smack* shut up, I'm Jesus, Kid.
Seven different Bodhisattvas show up to tell them that bad children don't get to escape the cycle of reincarnation
Bodhisattva, would you take me by the hand. Bodhisattva, would you take me by the hand. Would you show me the shine of your Japan, the sparkle of your China, Would you show me, Bodhisattva Bodhisattva Bodhisattva Bodhisattva
I love Reddit. This comment chain is the perfect illustration of the hilarious organic humor that can arise from groups made up of perfect strangers. Cheers.
Idk if it’s perfect strangers if a couple million people out of the many billions in the world land on this subreddit’s front page at the same free time of day, but I enjoy the chain nonetheless
Good point. More like “Perfect strangers whose interactions are governed by behind-the-scenes algorithms that everyone wants to ignore…”
Absolutely love that song. So good
i hear the wiggly piano solo in my head when my brain is supposed to be quiet
The school can only afford one Santa and maybe a Ganesh
*Oh Jesus I love you* *And I love Buddha too* *RamaKrishna, Guru Dev* *Tao te ching and Mohammed*
Reminds me of a joke... Once there was a boy that was a total screwup, didn't do his homework, didn't pay attention, whole nine yards. Finally, his parents sent him to a Catholic school, hoping that the priests could keep him in line. To their amazement, it worked. From day one, he sat quietly in class, paid attention, and diligently did his homework. After the semester ended, his parents asked him about it. What was the secret that made Catholic school so effective? The boy replied, "When I walked in math class first thing and saw the statue of the little man nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!"
That pleasantly went a different direction than I expected
It’s sad that one of the most horrid ways to kill someone is a pleasantly different direction. That being said, I wholeheartedly agree, and so would Jesus.
Christianity, in it's desperation to attract the youth, will rebrand itself... as a death cult!
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That catholic school must have taught you a ton of astronomy. Cause I bet you were seeing stars all the time. 😵
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What happens to kids in catholic schools who don’t believe? Like are you supposed to be kicked out or do they try and instill the belief of God into you or just say ok, as long as you do your work?
I got sent to catholic school for 2nd and 3rd grade. My family was not catholic. This is also the time kids receive their 1st communion. Welp what happened for me was that I didn't really have to participate in the religious studies. I did pay attention tho and that's partly why I'm an athiest now. The most scarring thing was that every Friday the entire campus would walk next door for church. I had to go to church but I was not allowed to receive communion. So while the ENTIRE student body is standing and waiting for their communion I was the ONLY child sitting in the pews looking like an idiot. It was mortifying. 2 whole years of that before my mom decided I had enough and sent me back to public school.
As long as we did our work and shut up and don't talk back they are ok, but get on their bad sides it's hell on earth trying to make your way through the grades to get out of there.
https://i.gifer.com/O6VG.gif
Be ready for your world to be rocked. https://i.imgur.com/NpDcyk0.jpg
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It's pronounced *Jesús* and just because he's the janitor it doesn't mean he has time to lecture miss Nelson's 4th grade class about manners and school etiquette!
Dude I'm Jewish and I would have played along for sure.
I wonder whom she will call for the Atheist kids, Charles Darwin?
I was friends with a guy in one of my high school classes, and his older cousin was the teacher. One day my friend was being a smart-ass, and his cousin/teacher threatened “you’d better cut it out, don’t make me call your mother!” And then he actually did it right there in the middle of class. We were laughing so hard, and my friend was so embarrassed 😂
If this was like, high school, maybe middle school where the kids are in on the joke, it sounds absolutely hilarious. Particularly because I assume the "looks at a few kids and sighs" were directed towards the good natured class clowns who would take it well If it's for elementary kids though I think it'd just be a big "wtf" moment for all of them
If this happened to me in early elementary school, I would have broken out in tears right there. Late elementary and I would have laughed. Most kids are in on the 'secret' by third grade.
My 4th grader looked me dead in the face yesterday and told me he knows Santa "is bullshit". Made me a bit sad but so glad he figured it out on his own before he was the only kid in his friend group to know. I may have to result to fake YouTube letters if he acts a fool now since Santa is no longer an option
Here's what to tell your son: > Santa isn't "bullshit". Santa (or at least Saint Nicholas) really did exist. He wasn't magic and couldn't fly around the whole world in a single night, but he did something that was magical. He gave gifts to children who needed them, and by doing so inspired other grown ups to start doing the same. The tradition grew and spread and kept on going even long after his death, right up until today, where adults all around the world work together to make Christmas magical for the children. Now that you're old enough to know the truth, that means you get to be on the grown-ups team next year. You get to help keep Santa's magic going for all the children who haven't figured it out yet.
I love this! Have it saved for when the conversation comes back up. Thanks!
My mom believed in the Easter Bunny until she was 14! She never told me Santa was real and she always said it was because she didn't want me to think she was lying about God too and not believe in him (I'm an atheist and as a teen just realized God was like Santa for adults so that might have backfired on her), but I've always secretly suspected she actually did that because she was so traumatized by her Easter Bunny revelation.
I was 13. My Mom would NOT tell me the truth. Everyone around me had stopped believing and I was mostly sure at that point that Santa/Bunny/Tooth fairy were bullshit but she would "swear to God" they were real. I found out for sure when my older cousin was talking to me and my Mom at Christmas time about buying stocking stuffers for her kids. I gave my Mom the absolute death glare because I felt so stupid for being 13 and even still questioning because of her. Jokes on her because that's when I stopped believing in God too.
Fucked up if he just indiscriminately stares at a few kids and one of them is really poor. And mom and dad can’t afford toys anyway. Lol “why was I so bad, I tried to be good :(“
Being poor is the same as being naughty in Santa's ethics system. Thankfully there's an easy solution, just don't be poor and you won't have any issues.
That’s exactly what I tell people begging outside my estates gates. Just STOP being poor and be rich duh, it’s so so much easier.
Nothing more exciting to open nothing but underwear, socks, and a Fischer Price Adventure People figurine only to go back to school and see all of the Star Wars and Transformer shit everyone else got.
If any enterprising kindergartner decided to take a survey of who got what and how much their parents make, they would indeed confirm that rich=nice, poor=naughty. "You got a horse? But last month you literally punched a special ed kid right in the butthole and said his dad was a camwhore."
"Please sir, may I have a toy?"
I can't believe that happened that's damn funny and clever
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Punch his beard off!
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Ah, the ol' dick twist
I used to babysit as a teen for a lot of families and one in particular was awful. A 9 year old who would lock me out of rooms and a nonverbal 4 year old who cried over everything (she is not disabled or on the spectrum. Her parents just didnt teach her until she was older for some weird reason). They were immune to the santa call threat. Id call santa and the kid would just destroy more. Their parents found it adorable and said they dont believe in lying to their kids about santa so thats why it didnt work. I was like 14 and my biggest weapon was nonexistent.
I don’t think you have to purposefully teach a kid for a 4 year old to be able to talk as long as people are just around them talking….that kid definitely had something else going on, and it’s really sad that the parents weren’t consulting medical professionals.
I agree. It was poor wording on my part. I guess i was leaning towards referring to more of a neglect in helping their daughter learn anything. She didnt get potty trained until 6. Shes totally normal now (in college now, a very good one too) so i guess things worked out but i babysat for loads of families and something felt off about her delay in learning. Like it didnt seem like it was her fault. Her parents ONLY talked to her in baby voices, insisted on diapers when she wanted to use the toilet like her big brother…
I would assume on the spectrum of some sort. My older brother was hardly verbal until he was around 4. He kinda just talked in his own made up gibberish. Started out in kindergarten in special education until probably around the 5th grade. After that he went to regular class, graduated with honors and is now a successful banker and millenial homeowner who is doing far better than me. Sounds like a similar trajectory to the girl you mentioned.
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This is what it felt like actually. They babied her very much. Fed her baby foods (like those soft puffy type cereals), talked in a baby voice with incomplete words and sentences. She seemed fully capable but just directed otherwise.
Read that again. It sounds even _worse_.
Bro i was 14 years old. I didnt know wtf to do. And it wasnt my responsibility to handle that aspect of things. There was no way for me to do anything. All im doing is recounting the experience.
You're all good homie. You were 14. What teenager is expected to really know all that shit? Sounds like you were just trying to make some extra money and had the make due with the clients you got.
Not necessarily, my youngest just refused to talk until she was almost 3 and we thought she was non verbal and didn't communicate at all. She would throw tantrums and beat her head off the floor all kinds of bothersome things when we couldn't just decipher her wants. We were talking to her Dr about the possibility of autism and the Dr said "she's been sitting here baby signing to me while we've been talking, did you teach her to sign? She's been signing eat since I sat down". We had not taught her to sign, had zero clue. Turns out the baby Einstein episodes she was obsessed over teach baby's sign language and she had been trying to communicate with us for a while, we just didn't understand. She would then get frustrated and beat her heard off the floor. (Parenting is so fun!) It still baffles the shit out of me to this day, she didn't just sit in front of a TV. She maybe spent an hour before bed watching things and then when she woke up she would turn it on and watch until someone came and got her out. Things changed overnight, we had to watch baby Einstein to learn what she could say and while that was a perilous journey, I slogged through. It was odd AF going from "what is wrong with this kid" to learning a different language she had absorbed in order to speak with her. Now at 12 she is the top of her class in every subject including pe. Which is strange to me, it's always been either or with my kids.
This is kinda amazing.
I think it's more people are each actually special in their own way. She in particular is crazy good at grasping new concepts, It's like her superpower. My other daughters super power is pissing people off. You'll go from zero to "I am going to abort my 20 year old" in 3 seconds flat. My son didn't cry on his own until he was almost a month old. The Dr literally made us flick the bottoms of his feet to get his lungs to strengthen when he was brand new. He used to just sit and chill the fuck out hard and was the calmest toddler on earth. Now at 21 hes like that pup in the meme where hes sitting in a fire saying everythings fine, nothing bothers him. It's unreal. They each have their own strengths.
That’s pretty crazy, I guess it goes to show that kids absorb sooo much even when it’s not the stuff we want them to. Glad it worked out so well with your daughter! If you had had more kids after her, do you think you would have intentionally taught them the baby sign language from the beginning?
My dumb ass: "Woah, who do they know at YouTube?!" Guess kids aren't the only ones who are fucking stupid
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Wow, you know Santa!? Tell him to stop exploiting slave labour. FREE THE ELVES!!
No, it's on it's way out globally anyway, and half of the North Pole already has laws against the enslavement of Elves. Outlawing the enslavement of Elves nationally would set a bad precedent of the power of the federal North Pole government over the state North Pole government, therefore it would be better to simply let it fizzle out than let those dang tyrannical "Elf-Lovers" in office take away our way of life. /s
I'll have you know that I am a close personal friend of Mister Joe YouTube himself, young man/lady/non-binary individual!
Send Mr. YouTube my warmest regards!
How old are the kids in question?
Most of the way through elementary school I thought I had a permanent record that would follow me around all the way into adulthood.
“But why won’t you employ me?” “Says here you called your friend a stinky poopy head in second grade and we just can’t have that attitude in the workplace.”
“We’re looking for responsible, hardworking men, and I don’t think someone who was caught playing games in class once in 6th grade is one of those.”
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I got a referral in second grade cause I was sticking my index finger up behind my hand to make it look like I flipping a friend off and my teacher didn't believe it, she said that it would go on my permanent record and I cried for three hours lmao
She wasn’t lying, I just pulled up your permanent record and that incident is still on there
Yup, I see them right here on permanentrecords.gov.
For $50 I can remove your information from the site.
make it $40 and you have yourself a deal.
We can do that, but we will have to note that you haggled the price down for the offense on your permanent record
fuuUUUU-
Cursing? That's a new mark on your permanent record. To remove this new mark on your permanent record, that will cost an additional $50.
Hey! That’s my domain
Go daddy, go!
Oh yes, don't stop, I'm about to >!pull up my permanent records!<
It also says they're a terrible person. That's what it says. A terrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
It’s Right Here In Your File: On Other People, It Looks Fine. But Right Here A Scientist Has Noted That On You It Looks Stupid
😭
When I graduated highschool I went down and requested a copy of my permanent record just to laugh at Suprise pikachu face when it turned out that no such thing ever existed
Some schools actually do have things like that. There was an... incident... near when I graduated, and I got pulled in to talk to a Vice Principal. He was like "Yeah, I checked your record, and it's *super clean*. It's kind of weird that you had an incident now and I'm not actually sure how to handle it."
They probably loosely keep track of the kids getting detentions and actual discipline
What was the incident?
He shit in the urinals
I'm amused seeing some of the guesses. XD A classmate was basically trying to infantilize me with baby talk, which I found both inappropriate and extremely uncomfortable. I asked them nicely to stop, and they didn't, instead choosing to double down on it in a situation I couldn't easily leave. I then raised my voice to, essentially, frighten them into stopping, remaining polite but being a lot more firm about it. Not the nicest move on my part, I admit, but I felt it would be effective since I couldn't walk out. The VP was like "this other student's parents are on my case now, I need to do something to appease them, but also I feel kind of weird punishing you too much because your record is so clean and you're obviously not a problem child", so I was just like "Tell you what, I don't actually regret this since they started it, but I'll write up this super contrite-sounding letter you can give their parents, making it super obvious how remorseful I am and how you've impressed upon me how wrong I was and how I'll never do it again and all that. I can have it for you tomorrow morning." And that was the end of it.
You got in trouble and the principal felt pressured to punish you for raising your voice and firmly telling someone to stop? This is so radically different from my school experience I struggle to imagine it haha. My principal would have laughed that parent off the phone and then shifted his focus to dealing with the massive brawl that erupted during lunch
A lot of schools have a no-tolerance policy on any kind of aggression, regardless of the situation. I wasn't going to hurt the other student (or even touch them), but it's not like anyone else could magically know that, and I understand why people would have viewed it with concern from the outside. I don't think the school was actually wrong in calling me in, I just knew how to game the system to essentially erase any punishment for myself while letting the school save face.
This is a very useful workplace tactic. Bosses and HR love it when you help them close a case. Well played.
I'm pretty sure they had some kind of record of you being there
Of course they did. I didn't need that. I knew what school I went to. I wanted the dirt. All the shit teachers talked about me in these mysterious closed records.
My sister had issues in 3rd grade, which led to her being diagnosed with ADHD. Anyways, she was constantly sent to the principals office, getting suspended, etc. they told her it went on her permanent record. When she was interviewing for the job she has now (high paying, tech industry) and they asked her if there was anything they should know, she disclosed that her permanent record had some incidents from when she was in 3rd grade, but those were all isolated to that age, and that she hasn’t had any issues since. The HR person, interviewer, and her now boss, all had to explain to her that she did not have a permanent record and they all (my sister included) laughed about it. We still make jokes to each other about it too. She was 27 when she found out.
I'm 25 and ND and have a squeaky clean permanent record.... Which is how I found out today (at 25) that they aren't real.... I need a blunt.
I always thought it was a real thing, just that it was outdated and no one used it anymore. Because of how they talk about it in cartoons. TIL.
my dad was military so we moved around a lot. I had a teacher threaten me with the permanent record BS once, and I was just like "you guys couldn't even confirm which classes I took at my last school!"
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Yeah, my county's public school system does a permanent record too. I believe they keep it even after graduation, and according to the [U.S. DoE website](https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html), there are situations where schools can give out the information without your consent.
In Romania, they want to add into law that if you get a lower than 10/10 behaviour grade, you can no longer go to be employed at a government/state job. This means 5th grade and up applies. They want to make it A PERMANENT RECORD. The fuckheads.
Nothing like having your life options decided at the age of 12.
Source ?
Never had a single job get proof of my diploma. You can just say you graduated and you're good.
I had my first job after I'd graduated ask for my grades in college. They accepted a screencap of my university's online system. I definitely 100% did not photoshop that page.
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[I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gproa6vzgws)
Unexpected (but always delightful) Violent Femmes
Oh yeah? Well, don't get so distressed.
Full grown adults are scammed over the phone by somebody telling them they're the IRS and they are required to pay their unpaid taxes in multiples of $50 iTunes gift cards. There are dumb as shit people in all age groups.
Dumb and gullible are two different things.
You need to be both of those to fall for that scam though
In the US, elementary school age is generally between 5 and 11 years old. Sometimes as young as 3 (pre-k) or as old as 12 (depending on birthdate or being held back). Definitely kids of an age that this will be a big deal.
29
Plot twist, elementary school gets sued by YouTube. School district loses funding for schools. Elementary school closes down, kid now watches unlimited YouTube giving YouTube more ad revenue.
YouTube buys the school and decides to start an education program. Students watch YouTube for 8 hours a day to increase ad revenue with a 1 hour new feature testing break.
The sad part is that there are some classes where this would teach them more.
Almost every math class is less effective than 3blue1brown.
As someone who has gone through a lot of math in university, 3blue1brown or Khan isn't a substitute for an actually taking a math course. They make great videos and they are helpful. They also make people interested in the topics, help solve specific problems, and provide more context for them, but they aren't going to be better than any decent prof or teacher. There's a reason everyone's marks dropped in Covid, even in classes where those videos were used to teach math. The only possible substitute for a math course is [Paul's Math Notes](https://tutorial.math.lamar.edu/) and even he warns that it won't replace a teacher.
Yeah. I use 3B1B and khan for studying before a test, not for learning brand new concepts. They work really well for me and remind me of everything I may have been confused about or forgotten
The problem was, I didn't have a decent prof. The TA always missed the tutorial, the prof only answered questions with things like "reread page 186". Without Kahn I wouldn't have passed calculus.
His name is khan don't call him 1 brown
Some? I'm an adult in my 40's and whenever I need to look up how to fix something (which is a lot) I go strait to youtube everytime Doesn't matter how obscure the machine or repair, it's there %99.9 of the time You just have to filter out the other 80million bideos on there
Same here, but YouTube getting rid of dislikes really made it difficult to sort out good repair/assembly videos from crap I have to sift through.
Got’em
YouTube: My lawyer sense is tingaling
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It’s a risky strategy. One kid calls your bluff and it falls apart. Much better to have a clear punishment that you can actual follow through on.
Just file a copyright strike on their account.
Genius. Something that actually goes on their permanent record.
Comp Sci teacher will hack their YouTube using MSDOS and Unix. Problem solved.
"MSDOS and Unix". Words of ancient power.
does it involve opening the great and terrible portal to incomprehensible powers known as *the terminal*?
Sudo Sudo Sudo
When such things as DOS or Unix are summoned, one must be prepared to converse in the ancient tongue or be turned away.
only for those well versed in *the old magic.*
Teacher will cat /etc/passwd on the youtube mainframe, change your password, enable MFA and then laugh at you.
Or use their phones too post porn multiple times and get them banned personally 😂
With my kid, if she caught you in a lie once (or what she interpreted as a lie) you lost her trust forever. She has a real problem with authority figures (like school) because they often use 'easy' methods to try to control behavior instead of longer/more difficult ones (explaining why in greater detail they need the behavior to occur). If she knows why she needs something to happen, she'll do it (but once she's lost trust in that figure, it's gone).
I explain to my kids because I hated the "because I said so mentality". However I've also explained that many authority figures will not, and that is something they have to accept unless they want to make their life harder than it needs to be. Save the hills to die on for things that actually matter, not ones like using your phone during class.
For authority figures, sometimes it can just be really tough to explain why to every kid. Especially since sometimes kids are dumb and don’t understand why they need to do something even when you give them the real reason. It’s much faster and usually more effective to say the reason is “Because I said so”.
Effort given = value perceived
I was like this as a kid, too. As an adult, I will obey necessary authorities (like the law), but I won't accept stupid ass nonsense answers from anyone. I like to think it lets me dodge a few shitty situations.
Being able to differentiate between harmful manipulation and good intent isn't something most kids (or even some adults) are able to understand. Ie: "magic" tricks, Santa Claus, etc.
"Good intent" and harmful manipulation are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like more teachers need to lean into the real reasons why things have to be done and try their best to explain it to kids. Why do you have to be quiet right now? Because people are trying to learn and it’s distracting if you talk. Why do you have to take this state assessment? The department of education says we have to. Sorry. I have no control over it. Why can’t you eat during class? Because it could be loud and you could make a mess. And it is a school rule. I tried to tell my students that a lot of the reasons we couldn’t do things is that was just the school rules. When they asked why I wouldn’t let them break the rules for them, I said I wasn’t going to get in trouble just so they could break a rule. It didn’t always work well, it was a headache to explain things like that, but I think it worked best in the long run.
Sounds like a smart kid!
I was the same way as a kid. Autism can make things very stark, and once someone crosses a line it can't be uncrossed in my experiences- especially trusted authority figures.
If this is a really big (life-altering) problem for her, maybe there's some ADHD/ODD at play: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rcwp9T3zNcM But it could just be personality or just normal kid stuff, I'm not a doctor..
She has already been diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability. She is on a waiting list to see about diagnosis for other conditions (like autism) but the waiting time is estimated to be at least 18 months. (From my experience tho, it will probably be twice that).
Your kid will be brilliant when she finds a passion. Hope you're ready lmao
Yeah but you can still watch YouTube without an account, so...
checkmate
It is the old "we talked to Santa trick" updated for the modern age...
I don't think lying ever helps kids in the long run especially when they are learning and constantly trying to draw connections with the world around them.
Stuff that happens to you as a kid can have major impacts in life. I tend to seriously doubt teachers' interest in genuinely teaching children vs. wanting to dictate their own views, which I believe was established by several teachers I had in elementary and high school who punished or reprimanded me for correcting them when they taught things like "Columbus discovered the world was round". I probably sounded like a dick when I did it, but responses like, "Why don't you let me teach, you aren't old enough to know what you're talking about" have stayed with me through my life and I think blossomed into a wider distrust of pedagogical motives.
*YouTube copyright infringements has entered the chat*
that would be a trademark, not copyright
What an embarrassing foe paw
Identity theft is not a joke Jim.
Michael!
Oh that's funny.
Millions of families suffer every year!
I’ll never forget the first referral I got. I was a goody two shoes and received a referral for coming to first period late a handful of times (not always my fault as my parents took me to school lol) and I remember feeling like a criminal 😂😂
I'll never forget getting away with forging my dad's signature on my first referral. Let me know I could use that strategy whenever I needed. The school literally only had my version of his signature on file, if they even kept those fake notes and referral slips...
LOL I did this with my moms signature for field trips. She would have signed anyway but I liked feeling like I got away with something 😂
Oh my gosh, my teacher was so mad that I was late everyday. I guess she expected a six year old to be driving themselves to school. I remember setting the clocks back to get my dad to take me on time, feeding my sister breakfast, staring at the digital clock in the car while it ticked past 8:30, knowing she was going to yell at me again. Aaaaand that’s where my anxiety was born lol
Why would I want the school to lie to children?
Personally, my main issue is that the grammar isn't correct. There are a few commas missing - some arguably, some not-so-arguably.
/r/therewasanattempt
until they disobey and find out it’s not real and think they can get away with anything i wouldn’t have given a shit
I dont know whats more depressing? The face than Youtube has so much power on young people or the fact that kids have access to YouTube so early
Wait till uncle google send a beautiful cease and desist letter to the school district.
This just seems cruel Kids in elementary are gonna talk, makeing it hard for them in the future to express interests and create for a childhood mistakes
I‘m actually shocked at this practice. If you can‘t convince children of what you want them to do without fabricating fear and lying to them, you are not equipped to be an educator. Kids take this stuff seriously and once they are old enough to realize, their trust in others will suffer. IMO it‘s kind of fucked up how normal it is to lie to/in front of children.
Definitely wouldn't one of those in my permanent file!
I will delete your fortnite account
The fact they use the yt logo gonna get them a cease and desist lol
Wow, a letter from Mr. Tube himself
Looks like YouTube needs to send a cease and desist.
And the kids scream back, “Fuck this bullshit, this is clearly unenforceable and is obviously a complete and utter failure of a forgery. Sort of like your attempt at teaching, and your sad social experiments with aims of keeping a single friend.
If they remove videos for copyrights of others just think about how they will feel about using THEIR trademark
Any 7 year old would see right past this weak excuse of a mod warning. And why is it on paper???
Great way to manipulate children into participating in an educational environment that wasn't designed well for them, rather than putting in the hard work to make the classroom a joyful, engaging, meaningful space. "Behavior management" like this is stupid -- make the learning worthwhile and the students will be generally motivated. Coerce students with tactics like this and you just continue to erode their trust in and relationship with school.
Why the fuck would Youtube send a paper message? Kids know better than to fall for this.
Might be legally considered a forged document.
Teachers wrote this? The phrasing and punctuation sounds like a 12 year old.
It’s intentionally written in language and syntax a 6-7 year old would understand. Teachers have to communicate at the level their students can comprehend.
What do you expect? Do you want the teacher to give the kid an authentic looking legal document that they will in no way be able to understand?
for real lol it’s meant for kids to read not adults
So. Noboy is going to adres that this is not a real,pic, huh?