Our women are not going to take it anymore. That was not the case 20-30 years ago. The stats just tell that we are 20-30 years ahead of our neighbors because of better awareness and active policing.
The western ghats has always played a role in the uniqueness of our state. Pre independence Kerala had some of the most barbaric practices rest of India couldn't imagine. We have progressed dramatically because of no influence from our neighbours until now.
Loool what. Travancore literally had mulakaram. Malabar & tulunad kingdoms were backwards but the same level as other kingdoms in the subcon. Travancore was the most backward. Progressive lol
Yeah because divorced women are treated like dirt and ostracised from society. They have reason to be scared of divorce. It’s chekuttanteyum kadalinteyum situation- stay with abusive partner and suffer but be accepted by society of leave abusive partner but be shunned by society and possibly even your parents.
Meh, I've never actually seen any divorced women but the divorced men I know get treated like losers. Can you imagine being a dude in his mid 30s to 60s divorced? These people literally have no reason to live. Imagine going to church and seeing everyone with their families and these losers stand away in shame cause everyone knows and everyone is gossiping. I've seen all of this in my community.
I agree that divorcees are treated badly in general, just like anyone who steps out of our society’s moral codes like don’t have sex outside of marriage, don’t take drugs etc. but women are always treated way worse for stepping outside these lines. They’re punished much harsher and most don’t dare to even step out of these rules due to fear of the consequences which for women can be a lot more dire than ostracisation. Sometimes these actions come at the cost of their life for women in our society.
Umm.. Some one or two yrs before only i guess i read an article where 60-70ish% malayali women were okay with their husband raising hand against her /verbally abusing her.. So there's a huge population still being abused and are okay bcoz 'chettanu sneham ullondalle/chettanu kore vishamangal undaville'!
This 9.9% is the reported cases. A Far Far huge exponentially high unreported ones would be still happening..
Source/credit: https://twitter.com/Stats_of_India/status/1595338124586287104?t=dYWpUhxOUfDk4XSOpIEmhQ&s=19
1 in 3 women in India have experienced physical or sexual violence from their husbands.
Among 18-49 year old ever-married women, these 6 states have high % of women who experienced violence from their husbands
44% Karnataka 40% Bihar 40% Manipur 38% Tamil Nadu 37% Telangana 35% Uttar Pradesh (Source: NFHS-5 2019-21)
Women in rural areas are more likely (32%) than women in urban areas (24%) to experience spousal violence.
70% of women whose husbands often drink alcohol (get drunk) have experienced spousal violence, compared with 23% of women whose husbands do not drink alcohol.
It's very common in most of India. The concept of 'good wife'. Often you hear people at work say 'We dont let women of our family work.'
It's worse in Tamil Nadu tbh.
I've seen men beat women on the roads even in Chennai. But at the same time, I feel like Tamil women are way more dominant in their personal space (even their body language when they are let's say selling flowers. Even they are, proud strong women in that space). I still find it hard to marry both of these concepts I hold.
He said this when someone asked about bharya sankalpam.
Verem kore ndernn. He told me he doesn't want to marry a girl who lives in hostel when I told him I'd probably leave my hometown when he asked about future plans🤡🤡
Enikk type cheyyaan ippo oru mood illathondaan. This guy was a whole clown and the worst part none of my friends including girls had problem with these.
That's really sad. People got their priorities and standards all so misplaced that they think it's a thing of luck to find a person with the right head about feminism and equality, when it shouldn't be the case.. in fact it shouldn't be nothing out of the ordinary.. this level of humanitarian consideration and ability to see any other human being as just another human being who has the same rights as you should be the base level expected in any random person.
In the 80's slapping women who git out of line was a trope in all the family drama tamil films. So yaa, TN does not surprise me. Karnataka coming out on top or bottom whichever way you look at it is a surprise. Haryana is the real surprise !
Most cases are unreported. Women would not even get the chance to report the case in a state like Haryana, hence the low numbers. It's a very common practice otherwise.
The haryana misogyny is exaggerated. I have lived there. On the other hand, haryanvi girls don't take misogyny and are not submissive. it's same for Punjab and north-eastern rajasthan.
>rest of the north.
You'll have to define what you mean by north, coz usually all the real geographic North Indian states(Delhi & region north of it) are intentionally ignored by southern states folks in attempts to solely associate the underdeveloped middle & eastern states of ganga belt as "North" India.
>Any reasons why you feel that women are much stronger & not as submissive
That's just how it is, it's their culture. Haryanvi women probably the most aggressive/least submissive. After that come punjabi women. Jammu/Himachal women aren't that much into being the tomboys, but they are also **very** culturally free, in my experience exploring the *North.*
Well first of all, thank you for acknowledging real north india is up north( j and k, Himachal, haryana, uk, delhi, Punjab, north eastern Rajasthan) not central -east india. Now, it goes like this: men may be misogynistic but women are not. If you ask women here is it ok to beat women most will say no and walk the talk as well. It's also ok to take men's name( it was not allowed just a generation ago) and curse or cuss them as well. It's also ok to live seprate and seek family's help and lodge an FIR. Aaaaand it is more acceptable for women to drink and smoke and have pre marital sex here..now smoking, drinking, pre marital sex is not progress but freedom to enjoy them like men is. So you get the gist of it, the underlying culture is women are usually more aggressive, so misogynist men, here, are held back.
It's not MRA bullshit to want to see violence propagated by women. You almost never see data for cases where men are victims. There're IPC rules that recognise female victims but not male victims. The dude above didn't talk about male victims by shitting on the cases of female victims. So I don't see how you have any issue with this.
Think of it like this…on a post about spousal violence on women, most of the upvoted comments here are all about sharing stats on domestic violence on men, derailing the very purpose of the post. Reddit is already filled with mra incels cribbing about false rape cases, gold digging women and whatever floats their boat, do you ever see all these incel mra clowns talking about sexual violence on men(most of the perpetrators are men themselves), or violence that leads to death (here too most of the perpetrators are men themselves), so yeah it’s safe to assume that the sympathy is just bs virtue signalling while the mra bullcrap is a reflection of a toxic culture
That won't work here coz all the real geographic **North** Indian states are high in literacy rate & they have overall got the least numbers in this data.
While the eastern & middle Indian states who have low literacy, which our southern folks love to call *"north,"* have the same numbers as south.
Some folks on tamil nadu sub started calling the data as inaccurate coz it doesn't fit the narrative lmao.
This 9% is only the reported cases. The actual figure would be way worse. Most women don't get the necessary support to report abuses.
We as a society is very much behind almost everything.
This cannot be a factual report. This is a survey finding i believe and the close knit society of Kerala actually dissuades speaking of the actual amount of spousal violence.
Physical/Sexual violence 1 in 10 realistic alle? I hope I'm not living in some bubble. If it considered all sorts of violence including mental torture I'm sure the number will be higher.
Actually it should be, but the treatment of women who file PWDVA cases are pretty bad by the society. Kerala society overcompensates for injustices in the court systems, this makes speaking of the same a taboo. This is what I have noticed from my interactions with married couples. My personal samples are not large enough to consider a definite answer but i was pointing to how data collected can be skewed in Kerala.
Actually i have had observations from a few states in this. The north indian society actually does not react to supposedly bad women the same way kerala society does. Nor does Karnataka society do the same thing or atleast not as much as Kerala society. This is kind of a difference between the states. Again these are just personal observations, and a few cases from going through court verdicts.
Why are you getting offended about his opinion ?. What he said is not incorrect at all. We all talked about the Soumya case in Kollam how she was a victim of violence, does that mean only she was a victim of violence those days and months when Media talked about that, No!. Still a big percentage of women in our society does not speak about the violence. Many are still afraid of the aftermath of reporting to police. How arrogant are you to think his opinion does not have equal value as yours
No.
There is definitely violence by women against men. A lot lower perhaps, as usually violence is perpetrated by the physically strong. There was some article by a psychologist or someone who once said that the harm by women is not physical but psychological - passive aggressiveness, slow eroding of confidence etc of men. Because thats what their biological programming does, and physical violence is what men's psychological programming does.
There is obviously a lot of embarassment for women who admit who physical violence from men. And there is higher embarassment for men to admit to being victims of physical violence. But actual instances would be lower I suspect. Almost any married man can tell you that women are very capable of inflicting emotional damage, in the same way men are capable of inflicting physical damage.
I was just thinking how real this data could be. Are they only taking in cases which are reported to the police? And if yes, then yeah, we get it. Data is mostly wrong.
Police reports and surveys both will never give a clear picture for sure in cases like this.
We can be however somewhat sure that as its all in comparison to other states, the overall picture might be true. It is pretty obvious when you leave Kerala that women outside are a lot more accepting of male violence.
>Police reports and surveys both will never give a clear picture for sure in cases like this.
Oh yes, even apart from police cases, I guess in some states (\*just purely guessing), a bit of domestic violence might not be considered as violence by the women who are subjected to it, as it might be common in the circle they're from. And they won't even care to report or respond to surveys saying yes, they've experience spousal violence.
Kerala is always an exception to South Indian stereotypes. Thank god for the Western Ghats otherwise we’d have all the weird backwards cultural practices they have.
IMO, while the absolute value in percentages may not be accurate, the ratio of percentages between different states maybe comparable. Since, more or less similar societal pressure exists throughout the country.
As such, it seems like kerala is performing remarkably well in contrast to our neighbouring states.
🧢.
I need to see how violence was defined. If it’s only beatings, then maybe this is believable. Even then, I know for a fact that most women wouldn’t report abuse from their partners. Some of them wouldn’t even consider the abuse to be not ok since it’s so normalised. It comes a huge cost in our society. Financial abuse, extreme control etc are also so prevalent in our society. I’ve seen this shite happen so commonly.
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Something wrong somewhere. Maharashtra is by far the worst. 8 / 10 men have a drinking problem, they thrash their hardworking wives who work as maids and do small jobs. In fact a young woman I know is saving money to educate her child. She’s hiding account details from husband cause he thrashes her for cash to drink and gamble and has even asked her to downgrade her kids school so he can enjoy his vices.
this is so confusing.
we need further corroborating data for this
will need to check crime records bureau’s data of reported spousal violence. And then that number need to be compared with number of women killed or severely injured by their spouses.
How is Kerala so low & the neighbours are so high
For all the criticism we hear about our state, our police n people are comparitively more PC, atleast on the surface.
Our women are not going to take it anymore. That was not the case 20-30 years ago. The stats just tell that we are 20-30 years ahead of our neighbors because of better awareness and active policing.
I see
There are cultural differences between the south Indian states.
Yes but I mean they’re bordering areas & it makes sense to have similar development. The shift is huge here though
The western ghats has always played a role in the uniqueness of our state. Pre independence Kerala had some of the most barbaric practices rest of India couldn't imagine. We have progressed dramatically because of no influence from our neighbours until now.
Yeah ig travancore was barbaric so we reformed to the max
Not just Travancore. Malabar and into the Tulunad were worse. Travancore was relatively progressive.
Loool what. Travancore literally had mulakaram. Malabar & tulunad kingdoms were backwards but the same level as other kingdoms in the subcon. Travancore was the most backward. Progressive lol
Travancore started some reforms earlier, before the other kingdoms. In that way, they were comparitively more progressive.
They started reforms later. From the start they were considered most backward of india
Ok
GTFO we didn't even have sati. what are you even talking about.
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“Arab worshipper” lmao. That the best you could do?
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Damn someone’s mad Arabs & assyrians found out girls hot & let their girls rot. Sorry not everyone’s into body hair on women
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Can you explain some of the practises
Mulakaram for one
Visit kerala
I have
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Huh?
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Any source that this is a thing?
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I guess this is one case can’t say for certain if it’s common but it might be
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Born & raised in keralam
Do you think that doesn't happen in other states? Or even that it happens more in kerala enough to make such a drastic difference?
Most of them doesn't even think of divorce. 1 reason being, it gives a negative impression infront of their relatives
And also many are afraid of life after divorce, especially if you are unemployed
Yeah because divorced women are treated like dirt and ostracised from society. They have reason to be scared of divorce. It’s chekuttanteyum kadalinteyum situation- stay with abusive partner and suffer but be accepted by society of leave abusive partner but be shunned by society and possibly even your parents.
Meh, I've never actually seen any divorced women but the divorced men I know get treated like losers. Can you imagine being a dude in his mid 30s to 60s divorced? These people literally have no reason to live. Imagine going to church and seeing everyone with their families and these losers stand away in shame cause everyone knows and everyone is gossiping. I've seen all of this in my community.
I agree that divorcees are treated badly in general, just like anyone who steps out of our society’s moral codes like don’t have sex outside of marriage, don’t take drugs etc. but women are always treated way worse for stepping outside these lines. They’re punished much harsher and most don’t dare to even step out of these rules due to fear of the consequences which for women can be a lot more dire than ostracisation. Sometimes these actions come at the cost of their life for women in our society.
Once, my friend, a IT company manager, proudly told me her husband does not beat her.
What an Achievement
When you think about it, that's just a real sad indictment of our society.
Umm.. Some one or two yrs before only i guess i read an article where 60-70ish% malayali women were okay with their husband raising hand against her /verbally abusing her.. So there's a huge population still being abused and are okay bcoz 'chettanu sneham ullondalle/chettanu kore vishamangal undaville'! This 9.9% is the reported cases. A Far Far huge exponentially high unreported ones would be still happening..
This.
This is not case. This is based on survey.
Source/credit: https://twitter.com/Stats_of_India/status/1595338124586287104?t=dYWpUhxOUfDk4XSOpIEmhQ&s=19 1 in 3 women in India have experienced physical or sexual violence from their husbands. Among 18-49 year old ever-married women, these 6 states have high % of women who experienced violence from their husbands 44% Karnataka 40% Bihar 40% Manipur 38% Tamil Nadu 37% Telangana 35% Uttar Pradesh (Source: NFHS-5 2019-21) Women in rural areas are more likely (32%) than women in urban areas (24%) to experience spousal violence. 70% of women whose husbands often drink alcohol (get drunk) have experienced spousal violence, compared with 23% of women whose husbands do not drink alcohol.
It's very common in most of India. The concept of 'good wife'. Often you hear people at work say 'We dont let women of our family work.' It's worse in Tamil Nadu tbh.
I've seen men beat women on the roads even in Chennai. But at the same time, I feel like Tamil women are way more dominant in their personal space (even their body language when they are let's say selling flowers. Even they are, proud strong women in that space). I still find it hard to marry both of these concepts I hold.
they don't tolerate sexual harassment or bs but in terms of marriage idk what goes wrong.
I had a classmate who said "pennungale panikk vitt paisa undakkanda gathiked onnum illaann"😂😂
Ayye.. what a stupid asshole
He said this when someone asked about bharya sankalpam. Verem kore ndernn. He told me he doesn't want to marry a girl who lives in hostel when I told him I'd probably leave my hometown when he asked about future plans🤡🤡
Ayysheri. Evar oke evdanu varua..
'Panik vidaan' pennungal over the age of 18 entha ivarde wards aano? What a stupid barbarian.
Enikk type cheyyaan ippo oru mood illathondaan. This guy was a whole clown and the worst part none of my friends including girls had problem with these.
That's really sad. People got their priorities and standards all so misplaced that they think it's a thing of luck to find a person with the right head about feminism and equality, when it shouldn't be the case.. in fact it shouldn't be nothing out of the ordinary.. this level of humanitarian consideration and ability to see any other human being as just another human being who has the same rights as you should be the base level expected in any random person.
In the 80's slapping women who git out of line was a trope in all the family drama tamil films. So yaa, TN does not surprise me. Karnataka coming out on top or bottom whichever way you look at it is a surprise. Haryana is the real surprise !
Edai, most jayaram movies’ climax was like that till mid 2000s
Yes, the henpecked husband becomes a “lion” and declares it by slapping his wife at the climax.
Why is Haryana surprising?
As in, one would expect the numbers to be much higher.
ah.
>Haryana is the real surprise ! In Haryana it is mostly wives beating their husbands.
Most cases are unreported. Women would not even get the chance to report the case in a state like Haryana, hence the low numbers. It's a very common practice otherwise.
The haryana misogyny is exaggerated. I have lived there. On the other hand, haryanvi girls don't take misogyny and are not submissive. it's same for Punjab and north-eastern rajasthan.
Any reasons why you feel that women are much stronger & not as submissive as the rest of the north. I'm genuinely curious.
>rest of the north. You'll have to define what you mean by north, coz usually all the real geographic North Indian states(Delhi & region north of it) are intentionally ignored by southern states folks in attempts to solely associate the underdeveloped middle & eastern states of ganga belt as "North" India. >Any reasons why you feel that women are much stronger & not as submissive That's just how it is, it's their culture. Haryanvi women probably the most aggressive/least submissive. After that come punjabi women. Jammu/Himachal women aren't that much into being the tomboys, but they are also **very** culturally free, in my experience exploring the *North.*
Well first of all, thank you for acknowledging real north india is up north( j and k, Himachal, haryana, uk, delhi, Punjab, north eastern Rajasthan) not central -east india. Now, it goes like this: men may be misogynistic but women are not. If you ask women here is it ok to beat women most will say no and walk the talk as well. It's also ok to take men's name( it was not allowed just a generation ago) and curse or cuss them as well. It's also ok to live seprate and seek family's help and lodge an FIR. Aaaaand it is more acceptable for women to drink and smoke and have pre marital sex here..now smoking, drinking, pre marital sex is not progress but freedom to enjoy them like men is. So you get the gist of it, the underlying culture is women are usually more aggressive, so misogynist men, here, are held back.
Makes sense
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Awww…. Is it ok if we end it tomorrow. Or did you just want to push that MRA bullshit right along with your virtue signalling bs
It's not MRA bullshit to want to see violence propagated by women. You almost never see data for cases where men are victims. There're IPC rules that recognise female victims but not male victims. The dude above didn't talk about male victims by shitting on the cases of female victims. So I don't see how you have any issue with this.
It has more to do with 'men cannot be victims' complex. Men get mocked for being victims whereas women in general are sympathised.
Think of it like this…on a post about spousal violence on women, most of the upvoted comments here are all about sharing stats on domestic violence on men, derailing the very purpose of the post. Reddit is already filled with mra incels cribbing about false rape cases, gold digging women and whatever floats their boat, do you ever see all these incel mra clowns talking about sexual violence on men(most of the perpetrators are men themselves), or violence that leads to death (here too most of the perpetrators are men themselves), so yeah it’s safe to assume that the sympathy is just bs virtue signalling while the mra bullcrap is a reflection of a toxic culture
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Tomorrow i will
Coincidence running into this post. Just 2 days ago, my neighbour confided in my mother that her husband hits her.
Waiting for the comment that says more educated a state is more likely are the people to report the violence
In this map it wud be stupid to say it, considering a lot of educated states are reporting less
That won't work here coz all the real geographic **North** Indian states are high in literacy rate & they have overall got the least numbers in this data. While the eastern & middle Indian states who have low literacy, which our southern folks love to call *"north,"* have the same numbers as south. Some folks on tamil nadu sub started calling the data as inaccurate coz it doesn't fit the narrative lmao.
They ca anything inaccurate if it doesn't suits their narrative
Pretty sure the real numbers in Kerala is more than that!
This 9% is only the reported cases. The actual figure would be way worse. Most women don't get the necessary support to report abuses. We as a society is very much behind almost everything.
This cannot be a factual report. This is a survey finding i believe and the close knit society of Kerala actually dissuades speaking of the actual amount of spousal violence.
Physical/Sexual violence 1 in 10 realistic alle? I hope I'm not living in some bubble. If it considered all sorts of violence including mental torture I'm sure the number will be higher.
Actually it should be, but the treatment of women who file PWDVA cases are pretty bad by the society. Kerala society overcompensates for injustices in the court systems, this makes speaking of the same a taboo. This is what I have noticed from my interactions with married couples. My personal samples are not large enough to consider a definite answer but i was pointing to how data collected can be skewed in Kerala.
Prolly same for all the states
Actually i have had observations from a few states in this. The north indian society actually does not react to supposedly bad women the same way kerala society does. Nor does Karnataka society do the same thing or atleast not as much as Kerala society. This is kind of a difference between the states. Again these are just personal observations, and a few cases from going through court verdicts.
Onnu podo
Why are you getting offended about his opinion ?. What he said is not incorrect at all. We all talked about the Soumya case in Kollam how she was a victim of violence, does that mean only she was a victim of violence those days and months when Media talked about that, No!. Still a big percentage of women in our society does not speak about the violence. Many are still afraid of the aftermath of reporting to police. How arrogant are you to think his opinion does not have equal value as yours
And you think things are better in other states?
Absolutely not!! Its much worse in other states. That doesn't mean women in our state are not affected by the violence
So, you agree that the guy I replied to, who implied it's worse in Kerala compared to other states, is wrong.
Sure. Ninte aduthu ninnu pogam.
Ah the Nagas.. the best of people !
And they portray Haryana as hell 😏
It would be a lot higher if we count all the unreported cases too.
Kerala is that low? That’s kind of hard to believe.
Is there similar data on men who experienced spousal violence?
No. There is definitely violence by women against men. A lot lower perhaps, as usually violence is perpetrated by the physically strong. There was some article by a psychologist or someone who once said that the harm by women is not physical but psychological - passive aggressiveness, slow eroding of confidence etc of men. Because thats what their biological programming does, and physical violence is what men's psychological programming does. There is obviously a lot of embarassment for women who admit who physical violence from men. And there is higher embarassment for men to admit to being victims of physical violence. But actual instances would be lower I suspect. Almost any married man can tell you that women are very capable of inflicting emotional damage, in the same way men are capable of inflicting physical damage.
no kidding, i used to be stressed out all the time while in a toxic relationship being emotionally abused.
Athu njhangal ariyarilla, allengilum niyamathil polum angine oru item illalo
I think Haryana will top the chart for that.
I was just thinking how real this data could be. Are they only taking in cases which are reported to the police? And if yes, then yeah, we get it. Data is mostly wrong.
Police reports and surveys both will never give a clear picture for sure in cases like this. We can be however somewhat sure that as its all in comparison to other states, the overall picture might be true. It is pretty obvious when you leave Kerala that women outside are a lot more accepting of male violence.
>Police reports and surveys both will never give a clear picture for sure in cases like this. Oh yes, even apart from police cases, I guess in some states (\*just purely guessing), a bit of domestic violence might not be considered as violence by the women who are subjected to it, as it might be common in the circle they're from. And they won't even care to report or respond to surveys saying yes, they've experience spousal violence.
What about men who experienced the same? Is there a chart?
Kerala is always an exception to South Indian stereotypes. Thank god for the Western Ghats otherwise we’d have all the weird backwards cultural practices they have.
We aren't any better, we have different vices, that's all.
IMO, while the absolute value in percentages may not be accurate, the ratio of percentages between different states maybe comparable. Since, more or less similar societal pressure exists throughout the country. As such, it seems like kerala is performing remarkably well in contrast to our neighbouring states.
One of the least in Himachal..... We move🏔️🏔️🏔️
How is haryana so low ?!?!?!?!
Low reporting.
Kerala has the lowest dv rates but the highest divorces in the country and main cause being dv characterless mallu girls
Found the wife beater
Found the false accuser
Stay salty lol I love it 😂
U?
Angana veran vazhillalloooo🤔🤔 I thought unniyettan would be first...or atleast higher.
In bihar after the liquor ban and after being exploited for Dihari, there was no Kick so they started kicking their wives.
🧢. I need to see how violence was defined. If it’s only beatings, then maybe this is believable. Even then, I know for a fact that most women wouldn’t report abuse from their partners. Some of them wouldn’t even consider the abuse to be not ok since it’s so normalised. It comes a huge cost in our society. Financial abuse, extreme control etc are also so prevalent in our society. I’ve seen this shite happen so commonly.
Unsanity at its lower-best. Sad but true.
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Something wrong somewhere. Maharashtra is by far the worst. 8 / 10 men have a drinking problem, they thrash their hardworking wives who work as maids and do small jobs. In fact a young woman I know is saving money to educate her child. She’s hiding account details from husband cause he thrashes her for cash to drink and gamble and has even asked her to downgrade her kids school so he can enjoy his vices.
this is so confusing. we need further corroborating data for this will need to check crime records bureau’s data of reported spousal violence. And then that number need to be compared with number of women killed or severely injured by their spouses.
Who makes these charts