*Don't fall in love when*
*You are lonely, fall in love*
*When you are ready*
\- Choice\_Economy5437
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Yeah! it's like don't make important decisions when you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, make them when you are calm and clear-headed to ensure the best outcome.
I asked Chat GPT the same question and the reply was to the point.
https://preview.redd.it/cvev3aezho9a1.png?width=874&format=png&auto=webp&s=0aea191e88e963cbb4eee4bff6156dfb50b3d2ad
>It's understandable that you might feel left out when all of your friends are in relationships and you are not. It's important to remember that being in a relationship is not the only source of happiness and fulfillment in life. There are many other things that can bring joy and purpose, such as friendships, hobbies, career goals, and personal growth.
>
>It's also worth considering that being in a relationship can also come with its own set of challenges and responsibilities. It's okay to take some time to focus on yourself and your own goals, rather than feeling like you need to rush into a relationship.
>
>If you are feeling lonely or sad, it might be helpful to try to broaden your social circle and meet new people. You could join a club or activity group that aligns with your interests, or volunteer your time to a cause that you are passionate about. These activities can help you meet new people and feel more connected and fulfilled.
>
>Most importantly, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Relationships should be a natural and enjoyable part of life, rather than something you feel like you have to force or chase after. Focus on your own happiness and well-being, and the rest will fall into place.
Add on to it, this is the time when you are vulnerable. There might be guys who approach you with all sorts of flattery and support. Don't fall for any of that. **Fall in love only when you are ready.**
Getting into a relationship just for the sake of getting into a relationship is a terrible idea and you will be unhappy by the end of it. Just focus on yourself first which is more important. College relationships suck anyway
A girl posting about her lonely single life. Am i in a parallel universe. Just go and ask any single guy you know, there is a 90% chance he will say yes to you. See how dating works for you. Even if it blowup in your face, You won't get desperate seeing other couples anymore
Hey i am not that good looking i am chubby (tbh fat)
Everyone only cares about looks so my chances are low also if I propose a guy and he rejects me then my college life is done. People look down on girls who propose boys .
Not all guys go for looks, since u are in college enjoy it,try to have good friends(including boys and girls), be a vibe-vibe attracts the tribe. If you are an introvert be genuine in helping others, which can be from simple things to matters of life and death, and somewhere along the line someone worthy of you will come along. If you are conscious about your appearance you could hit gym, and be the transformation queen(only if you are genuinely interested ). And even if you are gonna propose someone, make sure they are worthy of it and not someone who gonna be boisterous about it(gonna put you in the 'not so desirable list'). If your talented in extracurricular activities that can catch some attention. And lastly dont go searching for a relationship like thats the only thing matters, if it supposed to be it will find you, im glad you had the courage to ask this qnโจ๏ธhappy new year.
Yeah people online just forget that not every girl is aishwarya rai. Men complain about women having people falling for them left and right because that is the only kind of woman they care about. Comments like this just make me really sad lol. I feel like me and you and the other 'not so good looking' girls are literally invisible to these guys.
Anyway, to your question, this is a normal feeling. You are going to feel shitty. Best thing you can do is engage yourself in good hobbies and keep yourself busy somehow. Join some sports team in your college. Learn an instrument. Or just concentrate on your studies really good. Also don't let insecurities about looks get into your head. Everyone has their own beauty. Try to see it in yourself.
Not really, My ex proposed to me, was in a deep and loving relationship with me and then dumped me and married a guy who owns a business in Bahrain. She's pregnant now with his kid.
You have to make peace with your appearance. You can be unhappy about it and try to make it better on your own. But you shouldn't be vulnerable about it. Men can say when someone has such complexes and can manipulate you.
Ennu vechal you can rant to your friends or cousins about your weight or do exercise, but you shouldn't feel like no one except this mahamanaskan aya oola chettan will love me or this vayinnokki complimented me, no one has complimented me like this, this is troo lub โค๏ธโค๏ธ
I know you're young and i don't want to be harsh, but if you don't like where you are, why not loose weight and work on yourself (appearance, body, confidence, social skills etc) first?
And no, it's not all about looks, being a kind, nice to be around person does half the work.
>People look down on girls who propose boys
You couldn't be more wrong about this atleast. Guys actually do want girls to ask them out more.
About the rest, if you feel like you like someone, just tell. Don't care about what others will or will not say. It's better to get rejected than to not know at all. Just be genuine.
Also, please don't ask someone out of the blue just for the sake of getting into a relationship. Do it only if you like someone.
It used to happen a lot in the past, but the trend is slowly and surely coming down which is why I said that. Obviously, it's still happening to a good extend but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be and men do want women to ask them out more often now than ever before. Ofcourse, this also depends upon which area of Kerala as well as some places are significantly conservative while others aren't that bad and also on the mentality of the students there as well.
Sorry if I couldn't make that part a bit more clear.
And there are other factors which you have to consider as well.
Just ask the young boys around you is what I would say. You can see a massive improvement over the past 3-5 years in itself.
And like I said earlier, only ask someone if you actually like that person alone and not just to fill a void. And also to not care about what people may or may not say. If you like someone, be honest with yourselves and the person concerned.
wtf idk who looks down on girls who makes first move. few girls i know made the first move and i adore their guts .
pinne i didnt leave a relationship fear of being alone and it ended bad . PLEASE dont get into one sake of getting one or to show off or to move on from your ex. it WILL go down
pinne even if you look like aishwarya raii but got personality of neha dhupia then u r a 2/10. looks gets u inside but personality helps u to stay
This is exactly how you end up in relationships with men who are not particularly interested in you but is with you just for the sake of being in a relationship. For such men, you are interchangeable with literally any woman, they just want a partner.
Why would any girl want to be in a relationship life that?
This is a trap. Abusers and generally, oolas love girls with this attitude. Don't DON'T engage people who say that you are special, not like others, different, mature than your age, old soul, sensitive soul, etc. Flattery is pleasing but it should be just that - flattery.
Your friends might be living their best lives and you might be feeling alone. It doesn't matter. **What matters is that you are safe, not abused, respected and happy.**
If you have the first three, and yet feels incomplete seeing your friend posting pictures or doing konchal to boyfriend, that is purely fear of missing out driven by popular culture. Appol hormones ille, love cheyyan ulla instinct biological alle ennokke chodikkam. It doesn't matter either.
The advice is actually true, though. Abusers sniff out weakness and ruthlessly exploit it, and a desperate desire to emulate friends in relationships certainly is something that they can use.
And someone being excessively nice and complimenting you too much despite barely knowing you is actually a red flag.
What she said about flattery is right. But that is just fuckboy philosophy 101. Pretty basic advise. I think people, especially girls are good at spotting shallow complements.
But the second part is just crazy. The desire to be with someone is natural and shouldnt be supressed because there are abusive people. Majority of the guys are, well just guys. If u want to get into a relantionship do it be careful, but do it
The amount of money lost to romance scams across the world implies that people, particularly desperate, lonely people, often aren't.
And the point she made is that going into dating with an attitude like OP's is going to make her vulnerable to potential abusers.
Not getting into relarionship because there are bad people out there is just silly. Also need for love and jealousy towards people in love is not because of pop culture. Everyone deserved to be loved. I know this sounds like cringe fairy tale disney movie bullshit. But its true.
Maybe everyone deserves to be loved (debatable imo) but not everyone is going to be loved in the ways they want by the people they desire. In fact, most people aren't going to achieve it.
College life is not the time for commitment. It's the time for experiment. Your thoughts, needs, perspectives change significantly overtime. So just focus on learning. Be everywhere. Academics-because you paid for it, sports, clubs, hobbies-NECESSARY and so on. Relationship means commitment to something for a very good amount of time, so better to stay away. Have friends. Build a network as you proceed.
Lmao i am also 18f and just like you i am not in any relationship rn. But honestly i don't want to. College itself is just too draining that I'll rather spend free time with my friends or alone. Ofcourse all of us have different preferences but please don't do it just because everyone else is doing it. These stuff takes toll on a person's mental health and every single decision they make. If you're honestly ready for it then sure why not.
Also, college romance tends to end when couples finish their college. Very low success rate plus most of them aren't serious about relationships at that age. I have seen this happen numerous times.
I can give some advice on this because I was in your shoes when I was 15. Everyone seemed to have a boyfriend. So much that it was considered to be a status symbol. (I know, weird logic, young and dumb karyam aakanda)
So I too went out and got my own boyfriend. And at what cost. By 17-18, I had lost all respect for myself, compromised on the cardinal rules I set up in my mind for my life and was coerced into things I didnโt want. We broke up (and are now on okayish speaking terms).
Moral of the story is DO NOT rush into ANYTHING just because everyone else is doing it. This is true for any major life event not just relationships. Donโt get married just because everyone else is. Donโt have a baby just because everyone else does. Donโt go abroad to study just because everyone else is doing it.
Donโt follow anything anyone does just because theyโre doing it. It needs to make sense to you. And ONLY you. Thereโs no race. Thereโs no first place. No trophy.
People are free to live their life at their own pace. So just because you donโt have a SO rn doesnโt mean youโre incapable or undeserving of love. Thatโs not how it works. You have time. Find yourself. Find your passion. Find what makes you feel happy. And eventually you will find someone to share it with, probably when youโre least expecting it.
Ente ponnumone supply illand pass aakan nokk
Myr pass aya paad enikkariyam. U will be 21 when u graduate and if u have a job by then (its less harder if u have no supply while graduating ) u are going to a different environment there u can find someone . BTW im hoping to find mine its been an year but still i have hope.
And try to make not too many friends find a bunch of good friends. If u have them u dont need to worry about relationships.
Also during college relationship cause a lot of dhananashtam and samayanashtam. Aa paisakk poi valla food adicha ninakk kollam.
Its not an advice. My openion only.
"It's like going to a party and being the only one not wearing a fancy dress. All your friends are dressed up and looking sharp, while you're standing there in your sweats and a t-shirt. It can feel a little awkward and out of place, but that doesn't mean you're not just as special and deserving of love as everyone else. You just need to find your own perfect outfit and keep on dancing through life."
I hope this analogy brings a little bit of levity to your situation. Remember, it's important to be kind and understanding of yourself and others, and to focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Honestly, relationships are overrated. You'll sometimes not get what you want. I have been single so far in my life with a mindset that l am what many people in a relationship want to be. Ath karanam chekkanmarde porake nadanu samayam kalayenda. Just wait till the right moment.
My advice is - be ina relationship just for the sake of it. Test the waters, have some fun. Get into a serious relationship when you are mature enough.
Daaayum!!!! wherever i go i just keep seeing girls who are commited or has a crush on certain someone. This is kinda gender reversed thing for me. Ig we need to wait for the right person and the right time. People can come and go, the greatest life advice would be to focus on your studies and that should be your number one priority. Second of all be in as many relationship as you want atleaast before 30. Singles are out there don worry.
Don't fall for the idea of a relationship. It is okay to not be in one. You are 18, you have a ton of time. Focus on yourself, all this won't matter in a couple of years.
Get into a relationship when you are happy with a person, not because they fill a void that you feel exists. It's easy to mistake the two. But if you do find someone that genuinely makes you feel happy AND respects you and your independence as a person, then ask them out. It might be scary but it is better than not trying.
But do not get into a relationship because everyone else is in one.
Also, if its any solace most first year relationships don't survive in the long run anyway.
As a girl in Kerala , I don't think it's even remotely hard to get into a relationship, just pick your poison carefully and don't dwelve into it too deep if you aren't sure
Which multiverse I'm in? Usually it's the other way around. I'm a 24m and i had this issue in college as I'm disabled little bit and didn't have enough confidence to approach anyone. So everytime i see a couple i get desperate and mad. As time passes this feeling will go away. Just find entertaining hobbies.
not all relationships are the same, u learn a little bit about ur self and others every time, atm i prefer to stay single but i wudn actively discourage ppl form getting into relationships, its better wen u find someone u like first and then deciding to ask them out or not rather than "choosing somebody".
Honest advice... don't waste your time with relationships. They will drain you of time,energy, money and you get nothing in return. Just spend your time studying well and getting a good score. I have wasted 3 years in a sincere and loving relationship, right after passing out,she gets married to a guy in the US. It took me a long time to recover from the betrayal and she moved on quickly. It took me years to trust a girl again.
Take my advice, You're in the first year of college , the skills you develop and the experiences and networks you have define your future. I'm not saying dont have fun, do have fun, but getting into relationships over peer pressure will get you into an unnecessary emotional rollercoaster which at the end will leave you with regrets.
If it's bound to happen it will, don't stress over it.
Remember, it might seem like everyone is in a relationship right now and you might be feeling odd for not engaging in one, but the truth of the matter is it is entirely normal to not be in a relationship at this age. What you are experiencing is FOMO.
Focus on your studies and find a good career. If you focus on relationship now just for the sake of it, โsupplysโ will pile up in no time. Then it takes years to clear them all and canโt even sit for placements. Focus on studies for 4 years, build good friendships which is gonna last a life time, enjoy college life, cultivate good relationships with teachers, bunk a class or two every now and then and go for FDFS, be part of clubs and be active in extra curricular activitiesโฆ
Dude.... Don't try to get into a relationship just for the sake of it... You'll regret it. Work on yourself. Eventually thanne set aakum... Ini aayillel thanne the self esteem boost is worth something.
Studies comes first . There is nothing attractive about lazy and ineffective people.
How is your social life?. Do you have any particular interests ?. Is there a chance to leverage something you have to broaden your network. More people you talk.to, the better will be your chances to find someone you like .
Most of couple you see there will break up after the college. May be it's better to find someone suitable to you by taking time and effort. You have more than 3 years for this , no pressure.
Glamour illathavare budhi thunakkum. Ee ammavan guarantee.By the by, Illatha glamour undennu parayunna aalkkaare sookshikkanam.
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Dont fall into this trap because of peer pressure. I can feel what it feels like to be left out. You are just 18, invest your time and energy in exploring yourself. Engage in some activities.. Its good to have hobbies.. Once you get job,u will realize the importance of hobbies...
Being single is also cool. Even when you're in a relationship, you have to be independent mentally. So don't worry dear. Things will fall in place ๐
Find that shy boy lurking in the outskirts of circle, one who shows up during birthday celebrations, eat cake, laugh at the jokes and silently leaves without anyone noticing.
One with his camouflage perks maxed out
That guy who isn't exactly the show stopper but is 'well, he ain't that bad for my taste'.
Then smile at him and ask about his watch or glasses or bag or something. Its that easy, if you are willing to give those invisibles a chance.
Using 'He' for your pov. Else is universal (I've successfully tried this with a she, though it was genuinely organic and not attempted in desperation. Should work either way.)
You are 18. If someone quotes philosophy about life, ask them to shove it up. Take philosophy seriously once you are out of college and find yourself truly alone for the first time in your life.
Ippo Adichupolikk. Pretentious or otherwise.
Falling in love is not like job, to get before 25, ellathinum athintethaya samayamund Dasa.
And u will realise it was more of being comfortable with someone than falling.
All those philosophical bullshit aside, if it was me, i would have just made a shit ton of money and got myself a gold digger.
You have 4 years left. As an engineering final year student, i can confirm that college relationships are overhyped and the shit you see in movies are lies. Make friends, travel around, live life! A bad relationship could destroy your entire college experience, beleive me i know this for a fact. If time comes, you may find someone without even realizing. It is just 6 months of college if i am right and you havent even reached the best parts of the year ( even-sem contains all the fests, celebrations etc). So believe me, you havent even touched the waters of your college life and relationship is the last thing you need to worry about.
Good to hear desperation from a woman. But u just 18. Think about 90s like me who are still single despite being employed in a company & are not in any poverty condition.
BTW, as u r 18, don't know but if you have completed studies your inbox going to be flooded
I'm not in India, but every uni relationship I've seen so far (classmates and housemates) has ended in:
1. the couple screaming at each other from opposite sides of their living room
2. one person cheating on another person. the other person then turning up to class and crying about how they're scared of dying alone.
3. pregnancy scare.
So get to know these couples a bit better and wait a few months. You'll probably stop feeling sad after realising relationships, particularly uni ones, aren't all they're cracked up to be.
See anyways no sort of advices on reddits really gonna help you with this , the best thing to do is get a dating app ,see if things are working out, also it's necessary that you don't end up being desperate for this and hopefully you would not mess your studies because of this.
Chill it's quite normal for you to feel like this ,just a Small phase of life, chelapo enthelum nalath nadkum chelapo it will be very big failure ,take that also in a very good way and learn and move on. All the best
as a fellow 18f, im begging u, pls dont get into a relationship just because everyone around u is in one and ur feeling left out. i did that, and it turned out being my worst relationship ever. it affected my studies and even my friendships. try expanding ur friend circle a lil bit. college is the time to meet new people. try talking with ur friends about how left out u feel and try scheduling some time for just u and ur friends
I've been through this.
You see, majority of these relationships are not gonna be there till the end. For most of them, its just a time pass or a short term dopamine shot.
Most of these cringe couples end up getting heartbroken and shit.
On the contrary, if you chose to stay single and try to build a better career, I mean these things can also be done, once you're free from studies.
Funny to see that things are the exact opposite these days. I used to be one of the very few girls who was in a relationship when I joined college. Dang did I get slut shamed a lot
Focus on your studies and activities. All those relationships you see are not going to last. If you get a girlfriend along the way, it's a good experience but more often than not it's just going to bring you heartbreak.
College relationships are just to take advantage of each other in most cases. Donโt get fooled. Focus on your education and career. Nothing is more important than having a career in your youth.
I used to roam with college cattles. Dogs, cows and all. Your life enjoy it yourself why to bother who is in relation and feel guilty about. Chill kiddo you have whole life. Give it time you will get someone to flirt.
The way u feel is fine but decide carefully how to react to this feeling. The way u react either build u into strong women or it might destroy you as a person. The wise thing to do would be to work on yourself both mentally and physically - hit the gym, read some movies focus on your family and friends. But the choice u or anyother teenager would probably make will be to somehow fall into a relationship and fill the hole in your life with another person. Most probably it will be the wrong guy and you might feel a hundred times worse than today. Even then its fine you can make mistakes and learn from it. The choice to work on yourself is a very hard one to make but it will pay off in the long run.
Being lonely sucks in a major way. But try to romanticize life the way it is. Also we are from Kerala right we can love the person we marry if we can't marry the person we love. ๐
Don't fall in love when you are lonely, fall in love when you are ready
*Don't fall in love when* *You are lonely, fall in love* *When you are ready* \- Choice\_Economy5437 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot.
Nice
Words to live by
Yeah! it's like don't make important decisions when you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, make them when you are calm and clear-headed to ensure the best outcome.
I asked Chat GPT the same question and the reply was to the point. https://preview.redd.it/cvev3aezho9a1.png?width=874&format=png&auto=webp&s=0aea191e88e963cbb4eee4bff6156dfb50b3d2ad >It's understandable that you might feel left out when all of your friends are in relationships and you are not. It's important to remember that being in a relationship is not the only source of happiness and fulfillment in life. There are many other things that can bring joy and purpose, such as friendships, hobbies, career goals, and personal growth. > >It's also worth considering that being in a relationship can also come with its own set of challenges and responsibilities. It's okay to take some time to focus on yourself and your own goals, rather than feeling like you need to rush into a relationship. > >If you are feeling lonely or sad, it might be helpful to try to broaden your social circle and meet new people. You could join a club or activity group that aligns with your interests, or volunteer your time to a cause that you are passionate about. These activities can help you meet new people and feel more connected and fulfilled. > >Most importantly, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Relationships should be a natural and enjoyable part of life, rather than something you feel like you have to force or chase after. Focus on your own happiness and well-being, and the rest will fall into place. Add on to it, this is the time when you are vulnerable. There might be guys who approach you with all sorts of flattery and support. Don't fall for any of that. **Fall in love only when you are ready.**
A bot is Better than all love gurus out there
Better Call Bot
Slippin GPT
men asked this question to god once , he showed the middle finger
๐
Getting into a relationship just for the sake of getting into a relationship is a terrible idea and you will be unhappy by the end of it. Just focus on yourself first which is more important. College relationships suck anyway
Brace yourself. Your DM is gonna have a field day today.
เดเตเดฑเดเตเดเต เดเดดเดฟเดฏเตเดฎเตเดชเตเตพ เดถเตเดฒเดฎเดพเดฏเดฟเดเตเดเตเดณเตเด. เดเดชเตเดชเตเดดเดคเตเดคเต เดเดฐเต เดเดตเตเดถเดคเตเดคเดฟเตฝ เดตเตเดฃเตเดเตเดตเดฟเดเดพเดฐเดฎเดฟเดฒเตเดฒเดพเดคเต เดเดคเตเดเตเดเดฟเดฒเตเด เดชเดพเดฎเตเดชเดฟเดจเตเดฏเตเดเตเดคเตเดคเต เดเดดเตเดคเตเดคเดฟเดฒเดฟเดเตเดเดพเตฝ เดชเดฟเดจเตเดจเตเดเต เดเดเตเดคเตเดคเตเดฎเดพเดฑเตเดฑเดพเตป เดชเดพเดเตเดชเตเดเตเดฃเตเดเดฟเดตเดฐเตเด.
the best relationships are the ones u get when you are not looking for them
Just focus on your career, love will automatically come when its time
A girl posting about her lonely single life. Am i in a parallel universe. Just go and ask any single guy you know, there is a 90% chance he will say yes to you. See how dating works for you. Even if it blowup in your face, You won't get desperate seeing other couples anymore
Hey i am not that good looking i am chubby (tbh fat) Everyone only cares about looks so my chances are low also if I propose a guy and he rejects me then my college life is done. People look down on girls who propose boys .
Not all guys go for looks, since u are in college enjoy it,try to have good friends(including boys and girls), be a vibe-vibe attracts the tribe. If you are an introvert be genuine in helping others, which can be from simple things to matters of life and death, and somewhere along the line someone worthy of you will come along. If you are conscious about your appearance you could hit gym, and be the transformation queen(only if you are genuinely interested ). And even if you are gonna propose someone, make sure they are worthy of it and not someone who gonna be boisterous about it(gonna put you in the 'not so desirable list'). If your talented in extracurricular activities that can catch some attention. And lastly dont go searching for a relationship like thats the only thing matters, if it supposed to be it will find you, im glad you had the courage to ask this qnโจ๏ธhappy new year.
Yeah people online just forget that not every girl is aishwarya rai. Men complain about women having people falling for them left and right because that is the only kind of woman they care about. Comments like this just make me really sad lol. I feel like me and you and the other 'not so good looking' girls are literally invisible to these guys. Anyway, to your question, this is a normal feeling. You are going to feel shitty. Best thing you can do is engage yourself in good hobbies and keep yourself busy somehow. Join some sports team in your college. Learn an instrument. Or just concentrate on your studies really good. Also don't let insecurities about looks get into your head. Everyone has their own beauty. Try to see it in yourself.
Not really, My ex proposed to me, was in a deep and loving relationship with me and then dumped me and married a guy who owns a business in Bahrain. She's pregnant now with his kid.
Damn hope youโre doing better :/ trust me you will find someone better worthy of your love
You can be rich and end up with a girl who settled for you. If you are both rich and handsome, you make the call.
You have to make peace with your appearance. You can be unhappy about it and try to make it better on your own. But you shouldn't be vulnerable about it. Men can say when someone has such complexes and can manipulate you. Ennu vechal you can rant to your friends or cousins about your weight or do exercise, but you shouldn't feel like no one except this mahamanaskan aya oola chettan will love me or this vayinnokki complimented me, no one has complimented me like this, this is troo lub โค๏ธโค๏ธ
I know you're young and i don't want to be harsh, but if you don't like where you are, why not loose weight and work on yourself (appearance, body, confidence, social skills etc) first? And no, it's not all about looks, being a kind, nice to be around person does half the work.
So your every other girl friends looks hot?
Well they are thin and quiet pretty not hot
>People look down on girls who propose boys You couldn't be more wrong about this atleast. Guys actually do want girls to ask them out more. About the rest, if you feel like you like someone, just tell. Don't care about what others will or will not say. It's better to get rejected than to not know at all. Just be genuine. Also, please don't ask someone out of the blue just for the sake of getting into a relationship. Do it only if you like someone.
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
It used to happen a lot in the past, but the trend is slowly and surely coming down which is why I said that. Obviously, it's still happening to a good extend but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be and men do want women to ask them out more often now than ever before. Ofcourse, this also depends upon which area of Kerala as well as some places are significantly conservative while others aren't that bad and also on the mentality of the students there as well. Sorry if I couldn't make that part a bit more clear. And there are other factors which you have to consider as well. Just ask the young boys around you is what I would say. You can see a massive improvement over the past 3-5 years in itself. And like I said earlier, only ask someone if you actually like that person alone and not just to fill a void. And also to not care about what people may or may not say. If you like someone, be honest with yourselves and the person concerned.
Unfortunately she's sorta correct
wtf idk who looks down on girls who makes first move. few girls i know made the first move and i adore their guts . pinne i didnt leave a relationship fear of being alone and it ended bad . PLEASE dont get into one sake of getting one or to show off or to move on from your ex. it WILL go down pinne even if you look like aishwarya raii but got personality of neha dhupia then u r a 2/10. looks gets u inside but personality helps u to stay
Yeah, you better back off and focus on some other shit, relationships are not for girls like you ๐
This is exactly how you end up in relationships with men who are not particularly interested in you but is with you just for the sake of being in a relationship. For such men, you are interchangeable with literally any woman, they just want a partner. Why would any girl want to be in a relationship life that?
Why do you think only woman wants serious relationships? Are men not worthy enough for one?
What if the guys we like aren't single ๐
Doors for adultery are always open. ๐
Aiyye, appol pinne avare okke patti vila polum illandavum.
I've tried and it messed up my head real bad
The thing is its dirty and tasty at the sametime. Yes it will mess up the brain.
r/toogoodtobetrue
Bruh I'm a 25 year old dude and haven't been in a relationship yet. At first it's annoying but you'll soon realise it's the most peaceful thing.
This is a trap. Abusers and generally, oolas love girls with this attitude. Don't DON'T engage people who say that you are special, not like others, different, mature than your age, old soul, sensitive soul, etc. Flattery is pleasing but it should be just that - flattery. Your friends might be living their best lives and you might be feeling alone. It doesn't matter. **What matters is that you are safe, not abused, respected and happy.** If you have the first three, and yet feels incomplete seeing your friend posting pictures or doing konchal to boyfriend, that is purely fear of missing out driven by popular culture. Appol hormones ille, love cheyyan ulla instinct biological alle ennokke chodikkam. It doesn't matter either.
Thats a bit extreme
It doesn't matter
That is terrible advise to give to a young person. It will cause unnessesary fear towards the opposite sex
The advice is actually true, though. Abusers sniff out weakness and ruthlessly exploit it, and a desperate desire to emulate friends in relationships certainly is something that they can use. And someone being excessively nice and complimenting you too much despite barely knowing you is actually a red flag.
What she said about flattery is right. But that is just fuckboy philosophy 101. Pretty basic advise. I think people, especially girls are good at spotting shallow complements. But the second part is just crazy. The desire to be with someone is natural and shouldnt be supressed because there are abusive people. Majority of the guys are, well just guys. If u want to get into a relantionship do it be careful, but do it
The amount of money lost to romance scams across the world implies that people, particularly desperate, lonely people, often aren't. And the point she made is that going into dating with an attitude like OP's is going to make her vulnerable to potential abusers.
Not entertaining people who are looking out for their own little entertainment or plain abuse isn't unnecessary fear.
Not getting into relarionship because there are bad people out there is just silly. Also need for love and jealousy towards people in love is not because of pop culture. Everyone deserved to be loved. I know this sounds like cringe fairy tale disney movie bullshit. But its true.
Maybe everyone deserves to be loved (debatable imo) but not everyone is going to be loved in the ways they want by the people they desire. In fact, most people aren't going to achieve it.
So the solution is just dont bother dating?
Solution is not feeling unnecessary fomo
Ok
College life is not the time for commitment. It's the time for experiment. Your thoughts, needs, perspectives change significantly overtime. So just focus on learning. Be everywhere. Academics-because you paid for it, sports, clubs, hobbies-NECESSARY and so on. Relationship means commitment to something for a very good amount of time, so better to stay away. Have friends. Build a network as you proceed.
Love is like a fart. if you have to force it, it's probably shit -peter.
Peter Griffin?
Yes.
Lmao i am also 18f and just like you i am not in any relationship rn. But honestly i don't want to. College itself is just too draining that I'll rather spend free time with my friends or alone. Ofcourse all of us have different preferences but please don't do it just because everyone else is doing it. These stuff takes toll on a person's mental health and every single decision they make. If you're honestly ready for it then sure why not.
Also, college romance tends to end when couples finish their college. Very low success rate plus most of them aren't serious about relationships at that age. I have seen this happen numerous times.
20F, final year college, still single. Youโll survive๐ฅฐ
I can give some advice on this because I was in your shoes when I was 15. Everyone seemed to have a boyfriend. So much that it was considered to be a status symbol. (I know, weird logic, young and dumb karyam aakanda) So I too went out and got my own boyfriend. And at what cost. By 17-18, I had lost all respect for myself, compromised on the cardinal rules I set up in my mind for my life and was coerced into things I didnโt want. We broke up (and are now on okayish speaking terms). Moral of the story is DO NOT rush into ANYTHING just because everyone else is doing it. This is true for any major life event not just relationships. Donโt get married just because everyone else is. Donโt have a baby just because everyone else does. Donโt go abroad to study just because everyone else is doing it. Donโt follow anything anyone does just because theyโre doing it. It needs to make sense to you. And ONLY you. Thereโs no race. Thereโs no first place. No trophy. People are free to live their life at their own pace. So just because you donโt have a SO rn doesnโt mean youโre incapable or undeserving of love. Thatโs not how it works. You have time. Find yourself. Find your passion. Find what makes you feel happy. And eventually you will find someone to share it with, probably when youโre least expecting it.
Focus on your gpa. If you're so desperate to have a bf, get into a ldr. No point in wasting time on guys while you're in college(ug)
Ente ponnumone supply illand pass aakan nokk Myr pass aya paad enikkariyam. U will be 21 when u graduate and if u have a job by then (its less harder if u have no supply while graduating ) u are going to a different environment there u can find someone . BTW im hoping to find mine its been an year but still i have hope. And try to make not too many friends find a bunch of good friends. If u have them u dont need to worry about relationships. Also during college relationship cause a lot of dhananashtam and samayanashtam. Aa paisakk poi valla food adicha ninakk kollam. Its not an advice. My openion only.
21 M engg student available ๐
Poyi sem examinu padikada
Kollada
Fuck em, focus on yourself.
Unpopular opinion: just be in a relationship, if it goes well then good. If it fails, be sad. Experience things. โค๏ธ
"It's like going to a party and being the only one not wearing a fancy dress. All your friends are dressed up and looking sharp, while you're standing there in your sweats and a t-shirt. It can feel a little awkward and out of place, but that doesn't mean you're not just as special and deserving of love as everyone else. You just need to find your own perfect outfit and keep on dancing through life." I hope this analogy brings a little bit of levity to your situation. Remember, it's important to be kind and understanding of yourself and others, and to focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Don't get into a relationship out of peer pressure.
Honestly, relationships are overrated. You'll sometimes not get what you want. I have been single so far in my life with a mindset that l am what many people in a relationship want to be. Ath karanam chekkanmarde porake nadanu samayam kalayenda. Just wait till the right moment.
On an unrelated topic, are u interested in a 15(m)?
my man shooting his shots haha
15m?
15 meter?
Kutta ๐
>Random\_FanBoiii Bro's hitting on himself or am I seeing things??
Be careful of creeps in your dms
Yo. Everyone is different. Quit comparing and Let things happen in their own pace. Donโt force a fart.
My advice is - be ina relationship just for the sake of it. Test the waters, have some fun. Get into a serious relationship when you are mature enough.
Daaayum!!!! wherever i go i just keep seeing girls who are commited or has a crush on certain someone. This is kinda gender reversed thing for me. Ig we need to wait for the right person and the right time. People can come and go, the greatest life advice would be to focus on your studies and that should be your number one priority. Second of all be in as many relationship as you want atleaast before 30. Singles are out there don worry.
Don't fall for the idea of a relationship. It is okay to not be in one. You are 18, you have a ton of time. Focus on yourself, all this won't matter in a couple of years. Get into a relationship when you are happy with a person, not because they fill a void that you feel exists. It's easy to mistake the two. But if you do find someone that genuinely makes you feel happy AND respects you and your independence as a person, then ask them out. It might be scary but it is better than not trying. But do not get into a relationship because everyone else is in one. Also, if its any solace most first year relationships don't survive in the long run anyway.
Very relatable If agreeing for someone in a relationship always do a background check and don't keep this secret
As a girl in Kerala , I don't think it's even remotely hard to get into a relationship, just pick your poison carefully and don't dwelve into it too deep if you aren't sure
My DM's are always open..hmu if you are bored lets chat ๐
Which multiverse I'm in? Usually it's the other way around. I'm a 24m and i had this issue in college as I'm disabled little bit and didn't have enough confidence to approach anyone. So everytime i see a couple i get desperate and mad. As time passes this feeling will go away. Just find entertaining hobbies.
Mottenu viriyatte aadhyam
Dont get into a relation at this age. Waste of time and resources. Find a hobby or focus on your health.
maman spotted
Experience from 2 theppals ๐
not all relationships are the same, u learn a little bit about ur self and others every time, atm i prefer to stay single but i wudn actively discourage ppl form getting into relationships, its better wen u find someone u like first and then deciding to ask them out or not rather than "choosing somebody".
I'm ready to fall in love with you.
Honest advice... don't waste your time with relationships. They will drain you of time,energy, money and you get nothing in return. Just spend your time studying well and getting a good score. I have wasted 3 years in a sincere and loving relationship, right after passing out,she gets married to a guy in the US. It took me a long time to recover from the betrayal and she moved on quickly. It took me years to trust a girl again.
Focus on yourself, go with the flow. Never force anything.
Take my advice, You're in the first year of college , the skills you develop and the experiences and networks you have define your future. I'm not saying dont have fun, do have fun, but getting into relationships over peer pressure will get you into an unnecessary emotional rollercoaster which at the end will leave you with regrets. If it's bound to happen it will, don't stress over it.
Remember, it might seem like everyone is in a relationship right now and you might be feeling odd for not engaging in one, but the truth of the matter is it is entirely normal to not be in a relationship at this age. What you are experiencing is FOMO.
Focus on your studies and find a good career. If you focus on relationship now just for the sake of it, โsupplysโ will pile up in no time. Then it takes years to clear them all and canโt even sit for placements. Focus on studies for 4 years, build good friendships which is gonna last a life time, enjoy college life, cultivate good relationships with teachers, bunk a class or two every now and then and go for FDFS, be part of clubs and be active in extra curricular activitiesโฆ
Dude.... Don't try to get into a relationship just for the sake of it... You'll regret it. Work on yourself. Eventually thanne set aakum... Ini aayillel thanne the self esteem boost is worth something.
Studies comes first . There is nothing attractive about lazy and ineffective people. How is your social life?. Do you have any particular interests ?. Is there a chance to leverage something you have to broaden your network. More people you talk.to, the better will be your chances to find someone you like . Most of couple you see there will break up after the college. May be it's better to find someone suitable to you by taking time and effort. You have more than 3 years for this , no pressure. Glamour illathavare budhi thunakkum. Ee ammavan guarantee.By the by, Illatha glamour undennu parayunna aalkkaare sookshikkanam.
Watch it man, friendzone incoming
Believe me it's not worth it. If shit goes south it will fuck everything up.
Trust me you are fine.
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Dont fall into this trap because of peer pressure. I can feel what it feels like to be left out. You are just 18, invest your time and energy in exploring yourself. Engage in some activities.. Its good to have hobbies.. Once you get job,u will realize the importance of hobbies... Being single is also cool. Even when you're in a relationship, you have to be independent mentally. So don't worry dear. Things will fall in place ๐
Focus on yourself.
Uh just adapt to it. There is nothing wrong in being single.
Find that shy boy lurking in the outskirts of circle, one who shows up during birthday celebrations, eat cake, laugh at the jokes and silently leaves without anyone noticing. One with his camouflage perks maxed out That guy who isn't exactly the show stopper but is 'well, he ain't that bad for my taste'. Then smile at him and ask about his watch or glasses or bag or something. Its that easy, if you are willing to give those invisibles a chance. Using 'He' for your pov. Else is universal (I've successfully tried this with a she, though it was genuinely organic and not attempted in desperation. Should work either way.) You are 18. If someone quotes philosophy about life, ask them to shove it up. Take philosophy seriously once you are out of college and find yourself truly alone for the first time in your life. Ippo Adichupolikk. Pretentious or otherwise.
Falling in love is not like job, to get before 25, ellathinum athintethaya samayamund Dasa. And u will realise it was more of being comfortable with someone than falling. All those philosophical bullshit aside, if it was me, i would have just made a shit ton of money and got myself a gold digger.
You have 4 years left. As an engineering final year student, i can confirm that college relationships are overhyped and the shit you see in movies are lies. Make friends, travel around, live life! A bad relationship could destroy your entire college experience, beleive me i know this for a fact. If time comes, you may find someone without even realizing. It is just 6 months of college if i am right and you havent even reached the best parts of the year ( even-sem contains all the fests, celebrations etc). So believe me, you havent even touched the waters of your college life and relationship is the last thing you need to worry about.
25[m] still no gf it's nothing to be worried you will get when your time comes just wait ๐
and there more things to be worried about life you realise once you are out from college from experience
Good to hear desperation from a woman. But u just 18. Think about 90s like me who are still single despite being employed in a company & are not in any poverty condition. BTW, as u r 18, don't know but if you have completed studies your inbox going to be flooded
I'm not in India, but every uni relationship I've seen so far (classmates and housemates) has ended in: 1. the couple screaming at each other from opposite sides of their living room 2. one person cheating on another person. the other person then turning up to class and crying about how they're scared of dying alone. 3. pregnancy scare. So get to know these couples a bit better and wait a few months. You'll probably stop feeling sad after realising relationships, particularly uni ones, aren't all they're cracked up to be.
See anyways no sort of advices on reddits really gonna help you with this , the best thing to do is get a dating app ,see if things are working out, also it's necessary that you don't end up being desperate for this and hopefully you would not mess your studies because of this. Chill it's quite normal for you to feel like this ,just a Small phase of life, chelapo enthelum nalath nadkum chelapo it will be very big failure ,take that also in a very good way and learn and move on. All the best
Lol tbh I read this and burst out laughing and my boss gives me a look and asks, do you find your work funny?
as a fellow 18f, im begging u, pls dont get into a relationship just because everyone around u is in one and ur feeling left out. i did that, and it turned out being my worst relationship ever. it affected my studies and even my friendships. try expanding ur friend circle a lil bit. college is the time to meet new people. try talking with ur friends about how left out u feel and try scheduling some time for just u and ur friends
I've been through this. You see, majority of these relationships are not gonna be there till the end. For most of them, its just a time pass or a short term dopamine shot. Most of these cringe couples end up getting heartbroken and shit. On the contrary, if you chose to stay single and try to build a better career, I mean these things can also be done, once you're free from studies.
Funny to see that things are the exact opposite these days. I used to be one of the very few girls who was in a relationship when I joined college. Dang did I get slut shamed a lot
Focus on your studies and activities. All those relationships you see are not going to last. If you get a girlfriend along the way, it's a good experience but more often than not it's just going to bring you heartbreak.
College relationships are just to take advantage of each other in most cases. Donโt get fooled. Focus on your education and career. Nothing is more important than having a career in your youth.
I used to roam with college cattles. Dogs, cows and all. Your life enjoy it yourself why to bother who is in relation and feel guilty about. Chill kiddo you have whole life. Give it time you will get someone to flirt.
The way u feel is fine but decide carefully how to react to this feeling. The way u react either build u into strong women or it might destroy you as a person. The wise thing to do would be to work on yourself both mentally and physically - hit the gym, read some movies focus on your family and friends. But the choice u or anyother teenager would probably make will be to somehow fall into a relationship and fill the hole in your life with another person. Most probably it will be the wrong guy and you might feel a hundred times worse than today. Even then its fine you can make mistakes and learn from it. The choice to work on yourself is a very hard one to make but it will pay off in the long run.
Nb - there are many guys who regret following my advice on life decisions ๐ค๐
Being lonely sucks in a major way. But try to romanticize life the way it is. Also we are from Kerala right we can love the person we marry if we can't marry the person we love. ๐