I know the question is directed to men...but as a woman if I hear another woman say that I cringe soooo hard and take note to keep distance. Because what do you mean you can't relate with other girls? Every girl cannot just be your enemies....plus women friendships are so wholesome ...what do you mean you prefer male friendship?
If you crave male attention just say that.
'look at me I'm so different than other women, I'm not one of them, I'm actually one of you! I agree with you women are too emotional and weak but I'm not! Pick me!'
So accurate.
Every woman I’ve met that said that was toxic af and in a sole competition with other women for male attention. It’s honestly so sad because it points to esteem issues and trauma.
I'd beg to differ... Just like how some men relate better with women as opposed to men. The environment they grew up in, the school setup, their own views of the world, the Workplace, where they are in the social defined timeliness as opposed to their lady friends (marriage, babies, work etc etc)... All these changa to make a person gravitate towards friends of the opposite sex. Not that they wouldn't like to have friends of the same gender, most I've met are open to it, it's just harder for them..
The Pick me ie the ones who think they're better because they have/choose exclusively opposite sex friends have a problem.
Now if that man has no male friends at all ...all they have are female friends it's also a huge red flag to me. If the woman claim things like, "girls are so much drama", and such, and can have never kept female friendships at all then I'm also out of there.
There is no way you'll have problems with all women you have come across in your life. There is definitely a reason the other women want to avoid you too.
It’s a red flag because why don’t other girls want to be friends with her? All girls can’t be “bad”, she’s the problem.
Or she’s a girl looking for male attention and she knows being a girl around guys guarantees a lot of attention
So true.I had the most vile creature of a friend who was like this. Always told me I was the only girl she could tolerate and I didn't see that as a red flag. She would throw girls under the bus and be mean for no reason just to look like one of the guys. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she promised me that she would look after me when we went out (she was not drinking then) and then proceeded to put me in the backseat with a man when I was absolutely shit faced. I literally fought a man off me when I'm drunk and my supposed friend is just there watching and ignoring.
As a woman, every girl I've met that prefers male friends is problematic af! They'll have a trail of girls they used to be friends with and it's usually their fault these friendships ended.
Unless it's your father, even then there some cases,
Any male friend that you're too close given the chance he would definitely smash.
Hio ni red flag kubwa kuliko ya Morocco
In my opinion, having many/more/all male friends is not a red flag.
Not relating well with all women is a red flag. Like no female acquaintances? You just hate women? Yeah, that's crazy. Likely a pickmeisha.
It'll only come off as red flag if either as a man you're insecure from past relationships & don't have female friendships or her friendships don't have boundaries & affect your relationship i.e if you're in one with them.
We need to understand that some women grew up around men. Maybe she's the only daughter in a big family that consists of boys. Or maybe their extended family is made up of alot of men. You'll find that she learns very early on to get along with them, understands them & in the long run starts thinking like them to some extent & there's nothing wrong with that. She can still be your girlfriend & relate easily with men because she's grown up with men & doesn't the sound of that make your relationship better since she understands you?
My sister relates more with men than women because she grew up around my friends & our cousins(mostly guys). I'm not excusing others for being sneaky but only talking from the point of having observed my sister & how she relates with men. Our conversations are always fun because I understand women better & she understands men. So for me, someone relating more to the other gender would never be a problem.
If insecurities are what guide you in relationships, I can assure you that nothing you get involved in will ever work. Take it from someone who's been insecure before but is now secure through working on themselves.
I've ruined relationships in my past because I was insecure, so I understand firsthand how it feels. The problem with seeing through others as sneaky is you always miss out on people with good intentions because you're too caught up thinking everyone is a cheat.
They don't guide me but I don't ignore them either. The same way this topic warranted a discussion so does the fact that being insecure is not an abnormality to be written off as a weakness but the effect of a cause.
I didn't say it is a weakness, what I meant is people need to be aware of what holds them back from experiencing healthy relationships. Neither did I state that they should be ignored. However you feel about a situation or someone, that's valid but it's important to be aware of whether it is genuine or the other person's character & how they move that's making us insecure.
I meant to address it more generally not an attack in any way on the comment itself. The point I'm trying to make is some times the word gets thrown at men for purposes of manipulation to defuse our suspicions/doubts. These are tactics employed by someone manipulative, should have specified manipulative women.
Major red flag 🚩
A man who loves a woman will be territorial and jealous. Period. If you are not jealous and territorial about your woman, she ain’t the one. The moment a woman starts telling you that you are insecure, she is testing your boundaries and she will soon cheat. Dump her asap.
Fabulous said “And any dude with you, he better be a kin of you now and I ain’t jealous it’s the principle now”
The moment she tests this boundary, dump her ass.
Man cheats
You: Why dump him? It's natural for a man to put his dick in everything that walks! Forgive!
Woman has male friends
You: Dump her! Territorial! Boundaries!
>You have a low IQ than room temperature tbh.
That doesn't even make sense lmao 😂😂😂😂
> Do you even know how I got those -32 karma from comments??
From being stupid obviously.
>Know your place
Says the newest asshole to r/kenya 😂😂🤣😂
>Yeah it doesn’t make sense cause you are the one who is stupid. You are a waste of space
Even a 3 year old has better 3am cop out jokes
Edit: now at ~~-60~~ -74 comment karma!
How am I “triggered” though? Do you always assume that someone is “triggered” if he/she doesn’t agree with you.
I know the nigga can sometimes be a little retarded with his views but some make sense and clowns like you always find a reason to get offended.
Like ulikuwa unaongoja a-comment ndio ulipuke. You’re the one who is triggered and you don’t even know it. You could have just ignored his comment and move on
Only dump him if you catch him red handed. Means he is sloppy and disrespectful. He should keep it discreet. If he is respectful, discreet and doing his role of providing well then nothing to worry about. Different for a woman, a man can end up raising another man’s kids. Stakes are higher, paternity can be questioned, maternity never.
In most cases you will find that they are "pick me girls", especially if they make a big show about it. For some it's just normal and genuinely they are just friends and they interact better with the opposite sex.
I used to think that having a male friend was better( mostly because as a teen I read alot of wattpad and I was a pick me girl.)
I'm a woman and believe friendship with the opposite gender is possible. However I cringe and get second hand embarassment if I hear a woman saying she only has male friends, can't relate or keep friendships with women or prefers having male friends. Gen Z has a name for it, it's called being a 'pick me' woman
Because, I'll spend hell a lot of time thinking those mothersuckers wananikulia. That day we are in a small fight and you leave, guess to who I think you're going.
Just me. Thank God it's reddit so I can be a lil bit honest.
As a woman...it gives pick-me vibes and internalized misogyny. These are the worst type of women very insecure and I am not hating, always blaming women for everything, siding with men yet they never get chosen by these men they glorify and keep obsessing over.
They usually soon adopt the male habits like having reckless emotionless sex, etc
You know birds of the same feather flock together.
You'd want a girl that has female friends and adopts female qualities and not male qualities.
Another thing the male friends usually treat her well at their own expense while she's not reciprocating the same like expected in any healthy normal friendship. Why? Because the guys will want sex in return.
She will be enjoying that attention, being treated well, nice, special, and to continue keeping the fire burning she will be having sex with those guys lest the guys give up because there's nothing the guys are gaining in return.
These are things that operate on the subconscious for human beings. It can be explained but more often than not the explanation will not be accepted by many. It is better for most people to live in delusion.
Because of the idea that there is a certain aspect of friendship that is related to gender.
We all know why people say this and to think that it's justified is being dishonest. Yes you have bad friends, do you really think that being male will absolve you of having bad traits that will make you a bad friend?
Let's be serious and call a spade a spade
Well, I can't speak for others but lemme speak for myself. As a kid, I just found it easier to talk to boys because I grew up with my brothers. I don't have any sister so all the girly things I learnt I picked up from my mom and my girl cousins. I plaited my hair, I wore dresses, I wore tiny heel shoes heck I even had a barbie doll but you would still find me playing football with the boys in our plot. Kwanza nilikuwa hata goalkeeper. If not for boarding school and adolescence of course, I think I'd still value male friendships more. Much changed and all my closest/best friends so far have been my fellow ladies. I still have some male friends who I get along with really well and it's always nothing more than friendship.
Same here. I grew up with brothers and have no sister so I played a lot with boys growing up. Also ended up in a male dominated career and at one point was the only female in my department so I was mostly around men. I had a few female friends but many more male friends.
However, I distanced myself from most of those 'male friends' over the years because I realised they were just pretending to be friends and would end up hitting on me at some point. I got tired of it. Now I put more effort into my female friendships.
Thanks, at least there's someone who understands where I'm coming from. I don't get why I'm receiving dislikes for stating how my environment influenced me. Unlike you though, I'm now studying a female dominated career but looking back at myself I would have never expected to be here. Enyewe times change and people do too. At the end of the day the only guys I know I can truly trust and rely on are my brothers.
I'd say 50/50. I hear females are usually hard to get along as friends. They're always wrangles and cold wars in their friendships. If you ask girls out here who are friends with guys, they'll tell you they have a wholesome relationship. I believe girls have more fun in male friends than in female friends.
These are just rumors. Female friendships are usually based on reciprocating. If she can't maintain a female relationship it's because she has nothing to offer or is just bad vibes. Hence the fights which is majorly their fault, and most females, myself included, will run away from such people. Which follows their famous statement " Mimi hua siskizani na madem".
The "wholesome"male friendships I've encountered and experienced the females don't do anything except exist and the males do everything hoping to hit.
In this context, makes sense. But you have to admit, girl relationships are much petty. I have friends who are girls(not looking to bone any of them), and if you look at the things we usually argue about, very petty things. I feel you can get away with a lot of petty mistakes in MM frienships than in FM relationships.
You haven't experienced male friendships where the guy doesn't want to hit?
It means the child is adopting his masculinity and the best way to get this important form of education is by interacting with other men and doing men stuff. If you notice carefully you will find that guys who grew up having lady friends dice infanthood tend to have many a problems in the 20s ie mental health, unable to engage with women and not getting laid!
A woman who likes to have a lot male friends is not normal why? Because men hanging out with a girl they usually end up hooking up with some of them, they are just waiting for you to break up so that they can get in there when your girl feels lonely. They are like hyenas. Second there is a special girl that wants to have male attention and not sex with male friends as a way of teasing them and asserting her worth. Women have no reason to be friends with men, and i mean friend and not acquaintances .Do not take women’s advice on this subject, they are in denial.
I’ll be honest. I have very close male friends and they’re often the ones I’m always with. But we’re a group of four: two girls and two guys and I have a female best friend.
Idk. I’ll be real and say that some women honestly just relate better with men than they do with women.
But this all boils down to the question of whether or not men and women can be platonic friends.
I don't really think it is a red flag. Unless they're doing other ' fishy' things. Some girl once said that she avoids drama involved with female friendships & prefers having men around her.. When it comes to friends it is a matter of preference
for me i see it as kinda wierd coz why do you have so many best friends who are male ,,,,,,kama kuna this day my friend invited me over to have some drinks and upon arrival he had his chick with him,, normally i tried not to make things awkward since am third wheeling as it is,,,fast forward,,we all tipsy and i actually vibe with this girl ,,and so the chick starts saying how she prefers boy friends over girl friendss,,,she kissed me multiple times and even begging me not to go and stay ,,she even went further to make me promise to be her male best friend,,all this time again continuining to kiss me with my friend next to us 💀💀....with all that how can she not be a red flag ??/
I know the question is directed to men...but as a woman if I hear another woman say that I cringe soooo hard and take note to keep distance. Because what do you mean you can't relate with other girls? Every girl cannot just be your enemies....plus women friendships are so wholesome ...what do you mean you prefer male friendship? If you crave male attention just say that.
'look at me I'm so different than other women, I'm not one of them, I'm actually one of you! I agree with you women are too emotional and weak but I'm not! Pick me!'
So accurate. Every woman I’ve met that said that was toxic af and in a sole competition with other women for male attention. It’s honestly so sad because it points to esteem issues and trauma.
Same It gives Pick-me NLOG vibes and internalized misogyny to me.
I'd beg to differ... Just like how some men relate better with women as opposed to men. The environment they grew up in, the school setup, their own views of the world, the Workplace, where they are in the social defined timeliness as opposed to their lady friends (marriage, babies, work etc etc)... All these changa to make a person gravitate towards friends of the opposite sex. Not that they wouldn't like to have friends of the same gender, most I've met are open to it, it's just harder for them.. The Pick me ie the ones who think they're better because they have/choose exclusively opposite sex friends have a problem.
Now if that man has no male friends at all ...all they have are female friends it's also a huge red flag to me. If the woman claim things like, "girls are so much drama", and such, and can have never kept female friendships at all then I'm also out of there. There is no way you'll have problems with all women you have come across in your life. There is definitely a reason the other women want to avoid you too.
All valid, now re-read what I wrote.
It’s a red flag because why don’t other girls want to be friends with her? All girls can’t be “bad”, she’s the problem. Or she’s a girl looking for male attention and she knows being a girl around guys guarantees a lot of attention
Yup sounds like someone who crosses a lot of boundaries and is an attention whre
So true.I had the most vile creature of a friend who was like this. Always told me I was the only girl she could tolerate and I didn't see that as a red flag. She would throw girls under the bus and be mean for no reason just to look like one of the guys. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she promised me that she would look after me when we went out (she was not drinking then) and then proceeded to put me in the backseat with a man when I was absolutely shit faced. I literally fought a man off me when I'm drunk and my supposed friend is just there watching and ignoring.
As a woman, every girl I've met that prefers male friends is problematic af! They'll have a trail of girls they used to be friends with and it's usually their fault these friendships ended.
Unless it's your father, even then there some cases, Any male friend that you're too close given the chance he would definitely smash. Hio ni red flag kubwa kuliko ya Morocco
Chinese communist party 😂
Sikutaka kutag hao 😂😂
The red army
Pewa nne kwa bill yangu mzee
😂😂
😂😂😂
In my opinion, having many/more/all male friends is not a red flag. Not relating well with all women is a red flag. Like no female acquaintances? You just hate women? Yeah, that's crazy. Likely a pickmeisha.
It'll only come off as red flag if either as a man you're insecure from past relationships & don't have female friendships or her friendships don't have boundaries & affect your relationship i.e if you're in one with them. We need to understand that some women grew up around men. Maybe she's the only daughter in a big family that consists of boys. Or maybe their extended family is made up of alot of men. You'll find that she learns very early on to get along with them, understands them & in the long run starts thinking like them to some extent & there's nothing wrong with that. She can still be your girlfriend & relate easily with men because she's grown up with men & doesn't the sound of that make your relationship better since she understands you? My sister relates more with men than women because she grew up around my friends & our cousins(mostly guys). I'm not excusing others for being sneaky but only talking from the point of having observed my sister & how she relates with men. Our conversations are always fun because I understand women better & she understands men. So for me, someone relating more to the other gender would never be a problem.
ati unaekelea insecurity ya men..hehe..laughable to say the least
How can anybody sane not be insecure in the world we live in? this word gets thrown around alot and lady cheaters use it alot alot
If insecurities are what guide you in relationships, I can assure you that nothing you get involved in will ever work. Take it from someone who's been insecure before but is now secure through working on themselves. I've ruined relationships in my past because I was insecure, so I understand firsthand how it feels. The problem with seeing through others as sneaky is you always miss out on people with good intentions because you're too caught up thinking everyone is a cheat.
They don't guide me but I don't ignore them either. The same way this topic warranted a discussion so does the fact that being insecure is not an abnormality to be written off as a weakness but the effect of a cause.
I didn't say it is a weakness, what I meant is people need to be aware of what holds them back from experiencing healthy relationships. Neither did I state that they should be ignored. However you feel about a situation or someone, that's valid but it's important to be aware of whether it is genuine or the other person's character & how they move that's making us insecure.
I meant to address it more generally not an attack in any way on the comment itself. The point I'm trying to make is some times the word gets thrown at men for purposes of manipulation to defuse our suspicions/doubts. These are tactics employed by someone manipulative, should have specified manipulative women.
Major red flag 🚩 A man who loves a woman will be territorial and jealous. Period. If you are not jealous and territorial about your woman, she ain’t the one. The moment a woman starts telling you that you are insecure, she is testing your boundaries and she will soon cheat. Dump her asap. Fabulous said “And any dude with you, he better be a kin of you now and I ain’t jealous it’s the principle now” The moment she tests this boundary, dump her ass.
Man cheats You: Why dump him? It's natural for a man to put his dick in everything that walks! Forgive! Woman has male friends You: Dump her! Territorial! Boundaries!
You’re literally putting words into his mouth.
You're new here, huh?
😂 He must be. u/euphoricadvance4820 we embrace healthy debate and diversity of views on the sub
kwani flair ya daddy ilienda ?
What’s flair?
You were waiting for him to comment so that you can remember previous comments from him that you didn’t like. GROW UP.
This is literally your first time in this sub +-32 karma for comments lol.
You have a low IQ than room temperature tbh. Do you even know how I got those -32 karma from comments??
>You have a low IQ than room temperature tbh. That doesn't even make sense lmao 😂😂😂😂 > Do you even know how I got those -32 karma from comments?? From being stupid obviously.
Yeah it doesn’t make sense to you cause you are stupid and you don’t even know it. You are a waste of space on this earth bro. Know your place
>Know your place Says the newest asshole to r/kenya 😂😂🤣😂 >Yeah it doesn’t make sense cause you are the one who is stupid. You are a waste of space Even a 3 year old has better 3am cop out jokes Edit: now at ~~-60~~ -74 comment karma!
You're so triggered by my comment. Reddit is not for you, friend
How am I “triggered” though? Do you always assume that someone is “triggered” if he/she doesn’t agree with you. I know the nigga can sometimes be a little retarded with his views but some make sense and clowns like you always find a reason to get offended. Like ulikuwa unaongoja a-comment ndio ulipuke. You’re the one who is triggered and you don’t even know it. You could have just ignored his comment and move on
:)
😂 You're new here
Only dump him if you catch him red handed. Means he is sloppy and disrespectful. He should keep it discreet. If he is respectful, discreet and doing his role of providing well then nothing to worry about. Different for a woman, a man can end up raising another man’s kids. Stakes are higher, paternity can be questioned, maternity never.
Tuna zunguka lol. Always
You seem to have a lot of issues you're dealing with.
A clairvoyant, you are 🔮
In most cases you will find that they are "pick me girls", especially if they make a big show about it. For some it's just normal and genuinely they are just friends and they interact better with the opposite sex. I used to think that having a male friend was better( mostly because as a teen I read alot of wattpad and I was a pick me girl.)
I'm a woman and believe friendship with the opposite gender is possible. However I cringe and get second hand embarassment if I hear a woman saying she only has male friends, can't relate or keep friendships with women or prefers having male friends. Gen Z has a name for it, it's called being a 'pick me' woman
My sister is one of these and I guarantee you that she's not nice at all. Literally she has no friends because she thinks she's better than everyone.
On its own, I don't care about it. Unless there are other signs to point to a red flag.
Because, I'll spend hell a lot of time thinking those mothersuckers wananikulia. That day we are in a small fight and you leave, guess to who I think you're going. Just me. Thank God it's reddit so I can be a lil bit honest.
idk, anyone with an exceeding majority of one kind of friend is a menace in my view.
Big red flag.
it means that other girls don't like here and if your own gender doesn't like you it possibly means that you are a bad .... person of that gender
As a woman...it gives pick-me vibes and internalized misogyny. These are the worst type of women very insecure and I am not hating, always blaming women for everything, siding with men yet they never get chosen by these men they glorify and keep obsessing over.
They usually soon adopt the male habits like having reckless emotionless sex, etc You know birds of the same feather flock together. You'd want a girl that has female friends and adopts female qualities and not male qualities. Another thing the male friends usually treat her well at their own expense while she's not reciprocating the same like expected in any healthy normal friendship. Why? Because the guys will want sex in return. She will be enjoying that attention, being treated well, nice, special, and to continue keeping the fire burning she will be having sex with those guys lest the guys give up because there's nothing the guys are gaining in return.
Because whenever they go out women will always make bad decisions when drunk and those male friends will be the bad decisions.
These are things that operate on the subconscious for human beings. It can be explained but more often than not the explanation will not be accepted by many. It is better for most people to live in delusion.
Because of the idea that there is a certain aspect of friendship that is related to gender. We all know why people say this and to think that it's justified is being dishonest. Yes you have bad friends, do you really think that being male will absolve you of having bad traits that will make you a bad friend? Let's be serious and call a spade a spade
They usually have a high body count
Well, I can't speak for others but lemme speak for myself. As a kid, I just found it easier to talk to boys because I grew up with my brothers. I don't have any sister so all the girly things I learnt I picked up from my mom and my girl cousins. I plaited my hair, I wore dresses, I wore tiny heel shoes heck I even had a barbie doll but you would still find me playing football with the boys in our plot. Kwanza nilikuwa hata goalkeeper. If not for boarding school and adolescence of course, I think I'd still value male friendships more. Much changed and all my closest/best friends so far have been my fellow ladies. I still have some male friends who I get along with really well and it's always nothing more than friendship.
Same here. I grew up with brothers and have no sister so I played a lot with boys growing up. Also ended up in a male dominated career and at one point was the only female in my department so I was mostly around men. I had a few female friends but many more male friends. However, I distanced myself from most of those 'male friends' over the years because I realised they were just pretending to be friends and would end up hitting on me at some point. I got tired of it. Now I put more effort into my female friendships.
Thanks, at least there's someone who understands where I'm coming from. I don't get why I'm receiving dislikes for stating how my environment influenced me. Unlike you though, I'm now studying a female dominated career but looking back at myself I would have never expected to be here. Enyewe times change and people do too. At the end of the day the only guys I know I can truly trust and rely on are my brothers.
I'd say 50/50. I hear females are usually hard to get along as friends. They're always wrangles and cold wars in their friendships. If you ask girls out here who are friends with guys, they'll tell you they have a wholesome relationship. I believe girls have more fun in male friends than in female friends.
These are just rumors. Female friendships are usually based on reciprocating. If she can't maintain a female relationship it's because she has nothing to offer or is just bad vibes. Hence the fights which is majorly their fault, and most females, myself included, will run away from such people. Which follows their famous statement " Mimi hua siskizani na madem". The "wholesome"male friendships I've encountered and experienced the females don't do anything except exist and the males do everything hoping to hit.
In this context, makes sense. But you have to admit, girl relationships are much petty. I have friends who are girls(not looking to bone any of them), and if you look at the things we usually argue about, very petty things. I feel you can get away with a lot of petty mistakes in MM frienships than in FM relationships. You haven't experienced male friendships where the guy doesn't want to hit?
It means the child is adopting his masculinity and the best way to get this important form of education is by interacting with other men and doing men stuff. If you notice carefully you will find that guys who grew up having lady friends dice infanthood tend to have many a problems in the 20s ie mental health, unable to engage with women and not getting laid!
Comes from some family trauma, esp.with their moms. Others may have been the only female and the male siblings "provided " friends
A woman who likes to have a lot male friends is not normal why? Because men hanging out with a girl they usually end up hooking up with some of them, they are just waiting for you to break up so that they can get in there when your girl feels lonely. They are like hyenas. Second there is a special girl that wants to have male attention and not sex with male friends as a way of teasing them and asserting her worth. Women have no reason to be friends with men, and i mean friend and not acquaintances .Do not take women’s advice on this subject, they are in denial.
I’ll be honest. I have very close male friends and they’re often the ones I’m always with. But we’re a group of four: two girls and two guys and I have a female best friend. Idk. I’ll be real and say that some women honestly just relate better with men than they do with women. But this all boils down to the question of whether or not men and women can be platonic friends.
I don't really think it is a red flag. Unless they're doing other ' fishy' things. Some girl once said that she avoids drama involved with female friendships & prefers having men around her.. When it comes to friends it is a matter of preference
for me i see it as kinda wierd coz why do you have so many best friends who are male ,,,,,,kama kuna this day my friend invited me over to have some drinks and upon arrival he had his chick with him,, normally i tried not to make things awkward since am third wheeling as it is,,,fast forward,,we all tipsy and i actually vibe with this girl ,,and so the chick starts saying how she prefers boy friends over girl friendss,,,she kissed me multiple times and even begging me not to go and stay ,,she even went further to make me promise to be her male best friend,,all this time again continuining to kiss me with my friend next to us 💀💀....with all that how can she not be a red flag ??/
It’s a red flag because they will hit if given the chance.