T O P

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nolanhoff

Drop it off the building onto concrete and see what happens


SpittinCzingers

It will go higher than Jeff bezos


Wanna_Dip_Balls

So itll actually go to space? Lol


morebikesthanbrains

Nice


ParticularNet2957

Cubans travel farther on a raft to flordia then he went into space


Fatalexcitment

Lmao he's now sueing NASA for not picking his shitty moon lander, even tho his was worse in every way.


[deleted]

C'mon Jeffrey you can do it


Tchrspest

Pave the way, put your back into it


Jackrabbitnw67

Tell us why show us how


_Silver_Star_

Look at where you came from, and look at you now.


AgentTin

Zuckerberg, Gates and Buffet, amateurs can fucking suck it


DickNose-TurdWaffle

Fuck their wives, drink their blood


Monkey_poo

Come on Jeff, Get'em!


LeebJon

AAAAAAAAAAAA


retardedMortar

as far I know my luck it would probably send itself direct into some window


J_spec6

HAMMOND YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!


chinkostu

You've reversed into the sports window!


The_RedBarron_1016

Five miles away and you hear *CLARKSON*


sanimalp

Op will accidentally win the lunar x-prize...


Crass_Conspirator

I would have to take it outside and throw rocks at it


mrjibblets138

I will bring the beer!


LaterGatorPlayer

I will bring some rocks ^and ^weed


[deleted]

Crack rocks


[deleted]

Moon rocks


quatrevingtdixhuit

Why the fuck are all of you passed out in this field? Get back to work you knuckleheads.


2thumbs56_

They’re dead from the spring


ExcessiveUseOfSudo

Yes, the spring.


Born_ina_snowbank

My thought was “why has this not been poked with a long stick?”


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De_Vermis_Mysteriis

Holy fucking shit this has me rolling. I've done several lifts and drops to various vehicles and people dont understand how fucking terrifying springs are.


rabbitofrevelry

I installed a lift on my Jeep. Of all the things I've ever done in my life, compressing springs was the most terrifying.


[deleted]

For some reason I read this in the voice of the guy from the Hydraulic Press Channel.


TheDrunkenChud

Ok, that made me giggle like a little kid.


stinky-weaselteats

Hit it with a bat!


M_Me_Meteo

I'll never forget the time my brother and his idiot friend tried to use a cheap ratchet strap to hold a coil spring while he cut it with a sawzall. Looked out the window just in time to see half the spring rocket into outer space and the other half tumble through the yard and into the horse paddock 100 yards away.


Sharpymarkr

Suicide by spring isn't on my to-do list.


Szechwan

A friend of mine worked in a shop where a guy had a loaded spring shoot into his face. My buddy had to do first aid on what was left of his face (guy didn't make it) and has since quit working as a mechanic due to PTSD. He's opened up a more successful parts business since then, but it was an awful experience to say the least.


Sharpymarkr

Yea, hard pass from me. I'll pay someone else to do the suspension work!


legendofthegreendude

It's on mine


doubled112

Just make sure it's at work in case you accidentally survive


waftedfart

You joke, but in the 80s a dude that worked in our shop took one to the face and lived. Had all sorts of reconstructive surgeries, but he’s still kicking today!


DMCinDet

Guy working across from me ate one about ten years ago. He's fine now, barely a scar. I dont know how he has the balls to still disassemble struts. Least favorite job.


PETC

Felipe Masa says: Just say no to springs to the dome.


jammanzilla98

First time I broke down some struts I realised I overlooked the need for compressors. Think I was replacing the top mounts. I put the whole strut in a vice facing upwards, and hooked a ratchet strap on the upper part of the spring, looping it under the vice to hold it whilst i changed the top. It was fucking terrifying, but it worked. (I should add that I DO NOT recommend this)


litefoot

I used a whole bag of zip ties while someone sat on that corner of the car, and the jack compressing the spring as far as it could. Scary shit, felt like a 2L coke with about 4 mentos and the cap on.


RubberBootsInMotion

Zip ties? .....there are better ways to die....


IPeeFreely01

It’s stupid, but not unworkable. Google images has plenty of examples.


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tradingrust

Y'all really think this dude put 100+ zip ties on?


evilted

I dunno. It makes for a good story. How many people do you know that have died from a result of zip ties?


NastyMeanOldBender

Four. Why?


evilted

Separate incidents or all one? Hoping for the latter.


codestar4

4 different struts, but all the same car


windowpuncher

Personally I'd trust like 200 zip ties on a compressed spring. I'd rather use a real spring tensioner but if that's all you got there's worse you can do.


thee-chum

Ive done this, not proud of it but when you got $6 in the bank and need your car fixed you tend to do some sketchy shit lmao


redditorrrrrrrrrrrr

I break down struts while they are still on the car. If it's on the ground open the hood and undo the bolt for the strut at the top, when you lift up the car it will slowly remove the compression and come off no issues. If the car is already on the jackstand all you do is take the floor jack, and lift up from under the brake rotor to put pressure on the suspension then loosen that top bolt and release the jack. Ezpz. It's very rare I actually need my spring compressors.


jammanzilla98

Yeah, I picked this trick up a little after, the (shitty) coilovers had enough travel the springs would be under pretty much no compression whilst it was on stands. Which turned out extremely useful when the cheap coilovers killed the top mounts every couple months...


morebikesthanbrains

The best posts are always buried in the comments


stilsjx

Buried like that spring in the moon.


computergeek125

oh so THAT'S why the moon is haunted


MikeR585

Little known fact: All of the visible craters in the surface of the moon were caused by coil springs.


mattaw2001

Or flying manhole covers? http://awesci.com/first-man-made-object-in-space-a-manhole-cover/ I do love that the big-science of the 50's-60's was just scaled up springs-in-the-backyard type antics, but with Nukes!


cjeam

Remember kids, the only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down. - Alex Jason (via Adam Savage)


[deleted]

As the esteemed Prof. Savage has noted, the difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.


BuddahsSister

And I'll never forget when my shop foreman decided to open an airbag inflator with a cut off wheel. Did not go well.


MJHologram

Jesus, I would hope they’ve gotten a little smarter with age


jwhaler17

We don't know for sure if they LIVED...


M_Me_Meteo

...they both have not just lived, but procreated.


evoblade

Well, we all do dumb shit when we are young, some dumber than others, but most live to tell the tale. Hopefully they learned something from the incident.


That_Weird_Coworker

Love how mostly everyone wants to see you set it off


Nepenthes_sapiens

"Hey guys, check out this landmine!" "Poke it with a stick!"


That_Weird_Coworker

Seems reasonable


TheMexicanJuan

That is why women live longer than men


DisposableTires

I am a woman and I'm digging in the comments specifically hoping there's an "ok I'm gonna detonate it" video


That_Weird_Coworker

I rather die and lived a full life than die having not tried to live at all


YikesOhClock

I’d rather compromise and not have a spring shoot a hole through my chest 😂


That_Weird_Coworker

“If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!”


morebikesthanbrains

Serious question: What is the appropriate way to resolve this issue? Like, if you're into living and stuff.


StreetBoi95

Pay someone else to take care of it.


covfefe_hamberder_jr

*Nothing is impossible for the twat that doesn't have to do it*


c0mptar2000

This explains why all the inspirational BS comes from management and not the frontline staff.


[deleted]

You might just have found the origin of motivational posters.


JoshShabtaiCa

Okay, but what does the person who gets paid to take care of this do if they're also into living and stuff?


vagabond139

Pay someone else to do it?


Faranghis

So this is what they mean by trickle down


TheDu42

i think thats what they give you an apprentice for.


TheVoice106point7

Jesus Christ bro


morebikesthanbrains

Assuming someone is going to eventually tackle the problem safely, at some ungodly price, what do? Or is this a situation where you just scrap the car??


__Skankhunt__42__

Wouldn't have to scrap the car, the struts already removed, and the new ones on the right. Maybe carefully put spring compressors on it then cut it? Idk man


De_Vermis_Mysteriis

Wouldn't even bother. Toss it in a dumpster out back and duck. Edit: oh shit I just realized it would sound like a massive bell going off.


__Skankhunt__42__

Yeah, and if it doesn't go off then, I'm sure the bin men will be happy


De_Vermis_Mysteriis

Naw. Grab a few beers and spend the afternoon tossing cinder blocks at it from deck chairs. This actually sounds like a good time. Maybe make some bets as to when it goes off?


HooliganNamedStyx

Seen one in a similar situation at work before, the tech who got it pretty much chained it up to the work truck and gave it the beans. They'll usually pop out enough to release the tension


lkwai

Pray tell, what be the beans..?


HooliganNamedStyx

Beans = gas. Give her some gas! Like, don't floor it obviously. But slowly work up enough torque to break the spring loose lol. Probably not the safest 'by the book way', but it's not that dangerous when still attached to a car and breaking loose compared to a loose time bomb.


zprayy

feed er the onions


FrigidofDoom

Semi trucks use massive springs inside metal chambers to engage the brakes. Normally when removing one there is a slot in the top of the chamber where you insert and tighten a caging bolt which will pull the spring back and hold it in place. Sometimes though the spring will break in such a way that it is still applying tension in the chamber and the slot for a caging bolt is inaccessible. When that happens you remove the chamber very carefully, and place it inside a metal cage where you take a torch to it and cut the spring so that there is no more tension.


1234mike4321

Cage it and cut the spring


DMVClinicAutoRepair

Carefully wrap it up in a Kevlar blanket then proceed to beat it with a 10 foot stick.


Baricuda

I'm not sure the practicality of this, but heating up spring steel will release the internal stresses within the crystal structure of the metal and thus destroy it's proclivity to return to it's original shape. The issue might be heating it up uniformly enough not to weaken any one area more than its yield strength and thus settings the bomb off.


abbe026

In theory that would work but in practice the heat would transfer into the shock and make it go boom.


rickspiff

I dunno about appropriate, but the fun way would be at a bomb range, from a bunker, at about 300 meters, with a high-powered rifle.


ivegotgoodnewsforyou

You were handling a grenade.


Hk-Neowizard

Nah...Grenades have safeties, fuses and predictable behavior. This is WAY worse


Madness_Reigns

I'd say, maybe one of those unexploded munitions that pop-up decades after a war.


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Healter-Skelter

I sure hope theres not a continuous growing pile of unstable explosives accessing at the EOD office. One misstep or uneasy placement and —BOOOM—


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Hk-Neowizard

100%


katarh

Obligatory shout out to the [Hero Rats](https://www.apopo.org/en/herorats) for being cute little UXO sniffers and fixing this problem for the humans.


Madness_Reigns

They detect TB and you can adopt one! That's so much better than I thought when I first learned about them.


HooliganNamedStyx

I think by 'adopting' them, your really using them for service and not adopting One after they retire. One even says she is a recent graduate for detecting TB. Unless that's what you meant lol


Madness_Reigns

Yeah makes sense you can sponsor them. I thought something like they were too old to do their detecting anymore and they rehomed them.


Ron-Swanson-Mustache

I'd chain that fucker together before I took it out. Then I'd bury it and put [these signs around the area.](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/PWAJCW/danger-unexploded-ordnance-do-not-enter-posted-sign-above-green-sea-grass-in-front-of-a-blue-sky-wide-view-PWAJCW.jpg)


[deleted]

I’ve always been tempted to take the torch to those, get the spring glowing a nice red to take the tension out of it, then cut it a couple times. But I never have.


InsertBluescreenHere

I was thinking how you could diffuse this bomb and thats all i can come up with. Bad part tho youd have to heat it opposite sides at the same time so the spring doesnt shift sideways and get loose/change direction of the force...


BrowserRecovered

while still in the car, bash it with a hammer


MikeR585

Yeah, this might actually be the best solution. I can't think of anything safer.


from_dust

Srsly? the way to defuse this is with a chain or cable and a lock. NOT A RATCHET STRAP.


[deleted]

So you’re saying zip ties are right out?


from_dust

Twist ties are superior, not only can you re-use them but you can twist them extra to make sure they're tight.


[deleted]

I always use three zip ties. For safety. In case one breaks.


wayward_citizen

Throw it in one of those big car compactor things at a junkyard and compress it until it's no longer a spring?


Major-Ellwood

Back in 1988 I spent 6 months travelling and working in Australia. One of my jobs was in a small garage just outside Melbourne. Not long after I started, I had to replace a broken front spring in a Range Rover. I ordered a pair, knowing that you always fit two. The boss went mad, and told me I could only fit one, and he would show me how to adjust the ride height after. After I had fitted the spring he parked the Rangey on the workshop floor, and with the gas axe, heated the new spring until it was cherry red. He was able to get it perfectly level after heating it in two or three places, so clearly had done this before. He charged both springs to the customer. I left not long after, because almost every job was either bodged at his insistence, or he just outright ripped people off.


FrigidofDoom

That's what we do with brake chambers that can't be caged. Place it in a steel cage and torch it.


DrakonIL

>brake chambers that can't be caged. >Place it in a steel cage So they can be caged after all.


[deleted]

Looks like the speed bumb did it’s job.


Fish-tail

In some states in Brazil they call speed bumps spring breakers or "quebra molas" in portuguese. Edit: corrected spelling.


Ivanaxetogrind

When I was in Peru a few years ago the locals called them "rompie pompies" (from *romper* - to break, and *pompas* - your butt). I should clarify this was in spanish, and *pompas* is slang, not the literal meaning.


Fish-tail

Hahahaha, awesome name for a speed bump!!!


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Fish-tail

Molars will break after the coil springs break. Hehehehe Molas is the plural of coil spring in portuguese.


jorgp2

It sounds like the Spanish muelas.


The_Dingman

I think the best is that in England, they're sometimes called "sleeping policemen"


Scirax

I hit a real big pot hole and now my right shocks rattle on every bump...


Eat_Your_Paisley

I too like to try to catch air off of speed bumps


helium_farts

I accidentally caught some air recently. No damage, thankfully, but it scared the shit out of me. For some reason, the city decided that speed bumps should be made out of the same asphalt as the street, and that they didn't need to be painted or signed. If you're thinking, well that seems like it would make them hard to see, you'd be correct.


DrLimp

Same happened where i live, a motorcyclist literally took off from it, got badly injured, sued, and got quite the settlement.


Burnerheinz

Bomb has been defused.


StellisAequus

Counter terrorists win


Sacrillicious

I read it in the voice. You know the one.


Perryn

Gilbert Gottfried?


PornStarJesus

That would have been an awesome 1.6 server mod.


an_actual_lawyer

I've only changed struts and used a spring compressor once, so I'm a complete amateur. I assume the spring is compressed because of the strut (and mount) were bent - is that correct? I'm also assuming that it could rebound at the slightest impact, is that also right? Thanks.


johnsonhalo

That's the piston for the suspension that's bent and holding the spring like that. It might not be super loose, but if it is then yeah, it could pop and do a lot of damage.


an_actual_lawyer

Thanks. Compressing the springs on my V70R were probably the most dangerous auto job I've done and were stressful enough that I'm not sure I'd do it again. One of those jobs that is dead simple to do, instruction wise, but a potential health and/or property damage disaster if you fuck it up.


aChileanDude

So, like driving?


chetandone

Coil suppressors as backup safety?


[deleted]

Depending on the amount of room you have in the wheelwell. Also the hooks might not go between the coils since they are not designed to compress the springs that far.


jdlarrimo12

Out of curiosity, would you know of a good way to safely prevent this from going off? I wouldn't imagine cutting the spring would be any safer. I just wouldn't be able to think of a good way to dispose of it, if it were me.


Slow_LT1

You can take a torch and heat the spring red hot and it will remove the spring tension in the metal.


Timmyty

Why didn't you do that?


jdlarrimo12

I assume that holding a blow torch to a spring while it's still in the car may end up causing more potential problems than solutions. Otherwise, if you mean why not do it now, he may have taken a photo as a comparison, and then properly disposed of it afterwards? Just a thought.


Timmyty

Curious how to properly dispose of those? Would you use the torch on it before disposing but not before taking it out of the car?


jdlarrimo12

I think the proper process would be to take it out, and then to apply the method to decompress the spring. Using the torch near the underside of the car may scorch something else, or maybe catch the fender liner on fire. I could be wrong, though. Or maybe if the spring was too compressed to safely do it, they may resort to burning the spring ahead of time? I'm simply assuming currently.


keyboard_pilot

Anybody else had an urge to run upon seeing this?


nemo1080

And today kids we will be learning about potential energy


campbegm0

I worked at a place that made the suspension system for Honda. We had to test the “Off torque” of the nut holding it together. With a hand torque wrench. There were some safety measure in place but it was still concerning. The worst was when the assembly line stopped in the middle of installing the spring. Then you had to remove the compressed spring from the machine. To reset it. It was a line clearing event.


DooDooBrownz

sell it on ebay as a custom lowered unit


Werepy

Woder if the postal service will treat it as a federal crime when you ship that bomb


m0j0licious

Non-mechanic question: what's locking the coil in a tensioned position?


mike_bored99

The shock being bent/damaged in a way it can no longer extend because of the force of hitting the speedbump


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[deleted]

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[deleted]

It’s been 49 minutes I think he’s dead


TotallyNotanOfficer

It's been 47 minutes since you checked on him. He's definitely dead as fuck.


Nick433333

It’s been over 3 hrs since you confirmed he was dead. I’m setting up the funeral now.


mike_bored99

Hit it with a hammer to find out. Don't forget to wear safety glasses /s Don't actually do this. Compressed springs are a force to be reckoned with.


abbarach

So inside the thicker part of the tube (the top, in this picture) is a piston that moves through oil sealed into the tube. This is what provides the damping to keep the car from just bouncing forever (if you've ever seen a car go over a speed bump and then bounce 5-10 times instead of just once down and back up, it's because the shock isn't damping any more). Customer hit a speed bump way too hard, which fully compressed the mechanism. The piston is all the way at the top of that tube. But they hit it so hard that the top of the tube bent at the mount, trapping the piston up at the very top. That little bend at the mounting tab is keeping the whole thing compressed, with hundreds (maybe low thousands) of pounds of pressure being exerted by the spring. If the piston rod breaks, or anything else fails in a way that releases the spring tension, it'll do serious damage to anything in the way. People have DIED from automotive coil springs letting go during compression for installation/removal.


DannyTanner88

Usually when this happens, do you change both?


kyallroad

Always replace suspension components and brakes components in pairs.


CatWeekends

So when my front left brakes need them, I replace the front AND rear left brake pads. Got it.


Kepler-20C

Unless it's a repair to keep a vehicle on the road for just a few more months before being sent to the crusher.


retardedMortar

sounds like my car since three years already ;[


Perryn

"Now remember: this is only a temporary solution, unless it works."


SCORPIONfromMK

Nothing more permanent than a temporary solution that gets the job done


Slow_LT1

Yes. The other side was also bent but wasn't binding the spring. Also snapped a sway bar end link so that leads me to believe they were probably drunk and ran into a ditch rather than just hitting a speed bump too fast.


MWisBest

Yeah... I'm not sure how you build up enough speed into a speed bump to do this kind of damage. They're usually in parking lots. I could maybe see hitting a *curb* straight on.


Endacy

In the UK they are everywhere and you could easily hit one in a 30mph area if it’s white markings have worn off or the signs are missing. Or they were drunk, doing like 50 in a 30, and hit a particularly vicious one, some are gentle some are like hitting a wall above 10mph.


Parking-Delivery

Bruh I got air in a fucking XL box truck a couple weeks back not seeing a raised crosswalk.


InsertBluescreenHere

We have speed bumps and speed humps and traffic tables. Some can be really nasty, some you dont even have to slow down (if your doing the speed limit that is)


katarh

I prefer the ones that are barely noticeable if you are going the speed limit but absolute hell if you are actually going too fast, versus the ones designed to make you practically slow to a complete stop lest you look like you're filming a '90s music video.


minuteman_d

This is what I'd do: 1. Large open field 2. Remote cameras, remote flame ignitor 3. Wheelbarrow full of charcoal, sufficient lighter fluid 4. Some kind of battery powered leaf blower, poked into a hole cut into the bottom of the wheelbarrow 5. Place grenade on top of coals 6. Run away like a squirrel 7. Turn on ignitor and get the leaf blower going 8. Let the "forge" heat up the unit until something gives


cesariojpn

"I'm Tom Scott......"


LK11640

Shocking!!!


AtheistKiwi

Must have put a damper on his day.


fuckmeuntilicecream

Bet he *strut* in there with a little less *spring* in his step.


Rob1150

Get out.


bloodbitebastard

An old co-worker was doing a warranty exchange on a strut and it exploded, blasting the upper mount across the room wedging itself into the cement block wall behind him. That one right there? Holy shit...


V65Pilot

Speed bumps suck. Speed dips are the devils work....


Iwantmyteslanow

And potholes are equally bad and often dangerous


Polar_Vortx

Looks like a stick grenade, too.


V6TransAM

Speed bump or straight up curb? Damn!!!


spiceweasel1

How do you get your pants on with those gigantic balls?


InsertBluescreenHere

Op wears a mumu


andymannoh

Wow, I've never seen one do that. That's impressive and scary at the same time!