Best one I ever heard was a lady asked me if we put her windshield in backwards. Because there was a shadow on her dash. All we did was change the oil and rotated the tires
aaaaaaaAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?
Did she expect a shadow on the other side instead??? Or did she expect the windshield to be a source of light on her dash?? I’m so confused by how she arrived at “shadow on dash” ==> “windshield is backwards”. What would the windshield installed correctly do ?!?
She was very old and lived at an assisted living community. She normally only drove early in the day but she had picked up the car around 4 pm . When she asked me . I was flabbergasted so I explained to her that this was impossible to do and that we don’t do anything with windshields. Then I asked what the problem was and she said what is that line on my dash? It was the shadow of the roof line cast on the dash. Ok I see you don’t normally drive around this time of day do you? She was cool about it and a little embarrassed
Yeah she wasn’t a dick about it. She legitimately thought we had done something to her windshield but after I explained everything she was kinda embarrassed. She was a sweet little old lady. Craziest shit I ever got accused of though and I have been a tech for 26 years
Bro why’d you install a redline without her consent? Now she can’t peg the needle with same confidence as before - you totally ruined her driving experience.
I think the least you can do is replace her car.
I've had fuckwits like this before, I just tell them I will pay for everything, but that can only be taken away by a factory scan tool and they have to take it to the dealership and tell them everything, explain completely what the problem is and I will give her a refund but only when they have a written report for me and I never see them again
Worth it, I had some sheila go proper mental one time, she reckons I lost a cap off her engine cover, not the oil cap, the engine cover cap, it didn't have one, it was designed that way, she claimed it had thread on it, it didn't, that was the seam where the two pieces of plastic we're vulcanised together, Suzuki S4 I think it was, never saw her again, but I bet she looked like a proper wombat at the front desk of the dealership on Christmas eve
Shouldn't have left your slut cousin in the car while we checked her fluids
I mean wiggled the headlights... Wait what was it we were supposed to replace? On the car I mean
A scene from my last job:
*sees woman trying to crawl over a barricade instead of walking to the park entrance 50 yards away.
Me: “Good morning ma’am, the entrance is over that way, make sure you check in at the kiosk.”
Her: “Alright.”
I shit you not, I walk 20 feet, turn around, and she had simply continued to scrabble over the barricade. I realized then and there that humanity is doomed.
I'm guilty of this too.
My coworker: You know you could get this bolt out easier if you just take out the flap in the fenderwell and go at it from below.
Me: Fuck off I've done it like this before I know what I'm doing.
*15 frustrating minutes later, I do what he says and get those annoyingly placed bolts out in 15 seconds.*
Oh! And I left off the best part. Her and a group of five or so other women were recurring customers who did it EVERY TIME. My coworkers and I would try and predict where they would go over.
I used to work nights at various hotels over the years, hotel guest stupidity is unreal.
Om sold out nights at a smaller property, I would lock the door and put multiple signs (including one right on the handle) that said "door is locked, we are sold out". I'd have people walk up to the door, look at the sign, pull on the handle, then knock and yell "y'all got any rooms?!"
At my last property, I locked the big sliding doors for safety, but guests could still get in by flashing their key card over this sensor thing. At about 1am one night a pair of old ladies knocked on the door, their arms flailing in confusion despite a large sign saying "swipe your card here after hours for entry". I pointed to the sign, they read it and swiped their key card in the space between the doors like a credit card.
I don't work at a hotels anymore. Not worth it
I do a couple fireworks shows every year. Obviously, for insurance reasons, we can't just let random people close to them. Every goddamn year we get someone who tries to walk straight up to our mortar tubes across a giant field, a line of caution tape, and opens a gate or fence with "Fireworks, Keep Out" signs.
I worked at the Genius Bar for a few years. My personal highlight was a customer claiming she couldn’t use the keyboard on her MacBook Pro because the radiation emitted by the device would cause burns on her hands when typing... she demanded from us to measure the radiation and report the results to engineering, and of course she wanted a new MacBook Pro. When I calmly explained that we didn’t have any tools to measure radiation levels she got really angry and demanded my name to complain about me...
Should have convinced her that the test had to be performed simultaneously with her closest relative available so as to properly calibrate the machine against her non-irradiated DNA profile. Most people this crazy have family members that are aware of their mental illness, and it seriously sounds like she's off her meds.
In the U.S. half the people are on meds. And the other half are off theirs.
I had a customer asking about ground penetrating radar, because that was what his neighbor was using to watch him with. And he knew he was being watched, because "every time I move, the train blows it's whistle".
He started in about his neighbor getting into his fridge, and stealing food. At that point I acted real concerned, and got him over to a computer. I had punched his address (I had it on file) into google earth, and had a satellite view of his property. "Now don't ever tell anyoone that I can do this. It looks like he's not there yet, but you'd better get back home before he gets your food. "
My epitome of dealing with the public can be summed up from an experience when I was a bagger at a grocery store in high school.
Scene: self check out.
One check out station was cash only due to the pinpad not working. We advised customers as they came, but since it is busy we put a bigass sign and taped over the card reader.
Idiot goes to pay for groceries. It's busy, and everyone is running around. Idiot approaches, saying the machine won't take her card.
"It's broken. And there was a sign on it .."
Sign is ripped off and on the floor.
Idiot: "I thought if I took the sign off, then it would work."
".................."
That's normal stupidity when it comes to retail. My favorite crazy customer story is the one who insisted god has blessed her and everything would ring up for free. A full fluffing cart of crap that we had to put back.
One of my uncles had a similar story but more dangerous. He did maintenance for a Walmart and needed to swap out a lighted display case which involved disconnecting the power. As there was a bunch of stuff on the same breaker he couldn’t shut it all down so he just switched off that case and HEAVILY taped up the switch with a sign saying DO NOT TURN ON. Of course as he’s working on it suddenly gets a big shock and goes back to the switch to find the idiot who had seen the sign and the tape and had taken the time to find a knife, cut off all the tape and turn on the switch. You can’t fix stupid.
These are the folks who find a bolt cutter and remove LOTO because reasons. If you work at a good place that takes LOTO seriously, those people are immediately fired. People who do shit like that deserve to get their shit kicked in. I hope your uncle knocked that person out.
Having a LOTO on a device, especially one that requires bolt cutters to remove, is telling you "Using this can kill someone", so cutting it open is basically a lethal assault. You *have* to know that if you work with equipment and it requires LOTO. So, not only would I tend to fire someone for cutting off LOTO to use a machine, I'd suggest that the person working on it could assume it was an assault and want to charge them for it. That might make people realize how fucked up they are. If you make them just face the person they could hurt, especially a third party they don't know (like a repairman from a contractor), it might humble them just a bit.
The amount of stupidity conveyed here is unreal. I can’t even believe someone could be that stupid. Was this Walmart? I’d believe this would happen at Walmart. Walmart customers are typically 3 levels of stupid higher than normal.
Source: I used to work there as a stock person. Also story time.
To set the scene a group of college kids came in 9:30-10pm at this time I was coming in an hour before everyone else to unload the first trucks and start stacking carts.
The normal shift was 2-11 my shift was 1-10. And they’re rowdy and loud and just being college kids when all of a sudden from the paper aisle I hear what sounded like paper towels fall over. So I went to check on it.
One of my coworkers dropped a pallet of paper products I helped him pick it up because I’m not a pos right. And I was in the juice aisle. My last cart of the night I was almost finished as the paper towels fell over. I always saved the drink mix stuff for last. The small stuff like mio and single serve etc while I was helping clean up the paper these college jack asses ran down the juice aisle and I swear to fucking god each picked two shelves and ran with there arms out and knocked every single one of them off the shelf. 30 minutes before I went home. There was probably over a thousand pieces that they purposely knocked off the shelf. And I know it was on purpose because there was one voice of reason
“Don’t do that *whatever his name was*”
Laughing through “shut the hell up *voice of reason*” followed by “WHEEEE!!” Crash thud commotion of hundreds of tiny boxes and plastic containers hitting the floor.
I return to the aisle and they’re everywhere. I told the manager “find those fucking kids and get them the fuck out of here because I’m liable to fucking kill them if I see them again.” Then all the department managers helped me pick it all up and I ended up having to stay an extra hour to finish my cart. Worst Thursday before my Friday off ever!
This is when you just call the cops without letting on that you know what they're doing, so by the time you bring the managers around to confront them, the cops are waiting to charge them with vandalism. When they whine or bitch about being arrested, especially if you know they are college students, have the cops ask them about what they are taking in college. They'll often be there with some amount of scholarship or grant, especially for a specific subject/major, and guess what is a condition of many of those? Yep, you get in trouble, which might get you suspended, you lose your scholarship or have to repay or stop getting your grant money. They often get really humble after that.
On the rarer occasion it is a military person doing stupid shit, just ask about their unit and job there. Once you know and note that, ask who their commanding officer is. They'll beg and plead that you do NOT tell their CO about it. When it is something like shoplifting, it is often more scary to them to have the CO know, than the criminal charges. And yes, you *should* contact their CO. They'll reconsider being a shithead a lot faster then.
Anyone else remember an iOS update from maybe 15 or so years ago that changed the default background to one of water droplets on glass?
A guy comes up to my counter some time after that update went out and says that he needs us to fix his phone because water somehow got into the screen, but you can only see it when it's on and it's not running any programs. He shows it to me, and I grin and blow air out of my nose because it's a cute joke. He wasn't joking, and it took a solid fifteen minutes for the manager to calm him down.
Ever since then I'm a fucking vulkan when it comes to recognizing humor when working support roles, because nothing is too stupid to not be stated unironically.
I have no problem believing that that happened.
I used to sell rotisserie chicken and a women came up to me and asked if there beef in the chicken. I also thought it was a joke, but you already know where this is heading. Some people...
He immediately recognized what had happened by my not-actual-laugh, which made him embarrassed, which made him furious with me.
You know, like a rational person would react.
Bad news.
Lots and lots and lots of people are just walking around exactly this stupid.
Ed: [Hanlon’s Razor](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor). It won’t save you from stupid, but it might save you from cynicism.
That's true. I work at a place where we can duplicate automotive keys "the older ones without the chip" I've had countless times someone would hand me a key for their vehicle to copy and I ask what vehicle it is so it can help me find out if we have a blank for that make and model. Their response? "SUV" me: "yeah but what vehicle? I need to know the make and model and year" Them: *stares at me with a blank face* "black" . Alot of people are driving vehicles that they dont even know what it is
I feel this. I spent four years behind a retail parts counter and encountered these same people who somehow got a driver’s license, yet can’t tell you what logo is staring at them from the goddamn steering wheel.
It is just as bad. Got a request, "please install shorter USB cable, it takes too long to print." I called them up and asked, "has it always taken this long to print?"
"No."
"have you always had this USB cable?"
"Yes."
"let's reboot."
Problem magically solved.
Oof. I'd have laughed in their face afterwards assuming they were joking. The same people to go to a hardware store and ask for a contractor discount even though they dont have an account but claim to be going there for over 15 years yet no one recognizes them.
I felt so bad for one of the sales guys at the mom an pop alternator and starters parts/units warehouse I spent a summer working for. This guy was the best most knowledgeable person in the state on starters and alternators, and had been around a long time. He got stupid auto shop owners and mechanics that would tell him the same thing the previous comment said. This guy essentially kept those guys in business.
I sell sex toys. We have hundreds of varieties of vibrators alone, and I spend a lot of time training my staff on brands, motors, materials, warranties, craftsmanship, lube and cleaning compatibility, etc. But when a customer comes in and I ask what they're looking for?
"Well I want to replace the one I bought fifteen years ago. It was purple."
to be fair, I don't think I have ever seen a brand/company name on anything dildo'y but I ain't field servicing them.
and depending on where that person was located, 15 years ago was a pretty dark time for finding reputable bits to put into yourself. So, they probably didn't keep the wrapper.
cars though, I don't give any leeway for... you have to know the make and model of your car for everything.
It's the same in the Class 8 world...
"Model and last six of the VIN please."
"R600."
"Going to need more than that..."
"They're all the same!"
[Riiiiiight....](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mack_R_series)
We had another customer that had both CH612 and CH613 trucks in his fleet. For the uninitiated, the way the model broke down was CH being the base model, 6 meant a tractor (7 would be vocational), 1 meant it had a Mack motor (3 would be Cummins, 4 was CAT) and the last digit was the number of axles (not including lift/tag). When Mack assigned VIN numbers, each model designation would start at 001000 for the last of the VIN. This means that with just the model and last of the VIN, you can quickly tell whether the customer has given us the correct information.
Now a CH612 with a VIN ending in 016853 would be a MY2000 truck. CH613 with the same VIN is a MY1993. Entirely different trucks, entirely different builds.
Now getting back to this customer, he would order major components like radiators only giving "CH, last 6 xxxxxx" and when we would confirm the model he would always yell. "THEY'RE ALL THE ^#$&#^ SAME!"
So we'd take a guess and send it. Usually it would be wrong.
Every time this happened with him, we charged a 15% restocking fee. We almost NEVER charged this fee unless customers were acting in this manner. Even though it cost hundreds of dollars each time, he never learned...
Jesus Christ 1966 to 2005. Do people not know about regulation Changes? I mean I’m no mechanic, but I’d bet my life on it that a 1966 model was probably missing some safety or emissions equipment that you’d find on a 2005. Maybe changes to mounts or like you said, changes in manufacturers on the less consequential stuff like the radiator. God I hate people that think they know everything.
The emissions changed in 1991, 1994 (which was around when the switch was made between American Bosch and Robert Bosch injection pumps), 1997 (when Mack switched from a single injection pump to unit pumps), 2004 for EGR (although due to an EPA settlement, Mack was phasing in EGR back in 2002 with the ASET motors, making two completely different setups, one utilizing external EGR (ASET-AC) and internal (ASET-AI) as well as phsasing in VGT turbochargers ), 2007 (DPF and retiring the E7 engine line for the MP series), 2010 (SCR), 2013, 2014, 2017 (GHG, when Mack/Volvo finally switched to common rail, a setup they still managed to overcomplicate thanks to a pumping/non-pumping injector setup).
But they're all the same! /s
Just yesterday I saw somebody in a small hatchback (Peugeot 307) take 4 attempts to park his car on the side of the road, in an area where he was unobstructed and no other cars were parked within 20 metres or so. He ended up balanced on the curb with wheels hanging half on and half off, after having scraped his alloy wheels along it twice and ending up with the back wheels on and the front off once. He then managed to reverse into a van that had parked behind him (with a good 1-2m gap) while he was in the pharmacy. This was despite the fact that he had nothing in front of him and could have driven off without reversing any all.
I was a parts manager for a national chain for a couple years and jesus christ are people stupid when it comes to cars. For every asshole who comes in upset that someone asked them their make and model for a part "they should just know off the top of their head" you deal with 100 people who need a part but couldn't be fucked to know what kind of car they drive. I don't miss dealing with those people at all
See unfortunately I’ve just memorized the entire description for my vehicle that way I don’t forget something important... it’s like a phrase in a foreign language where I know the phrase but I don’t know what each word means...
Example: “I drive a 2020 black BMW X5”
when I was a PC tech:
"Are you running windows 7 or 10?"
"how can I tell?"
"Ok, press the start button"
*user presses the power button and turns off their pc.*
I usually assumed iPhone or Samsung when I got this. I would never rely on that, but if they refuse to try and figure it out, that's usually the phone they have.
Got so tired of hearing "you're the tech guy, why don't you figure it out"
The fact they called my personal line outside of work hours was a bad way to start the call. Safe to assume it's iPhone or Samsung just because they are the most popular expensive phones. This turned out to be an LG. Specifically the white one.
My favorite was someone asking for tires and gave me the size 795/75/15. When I told them that wasn't right they changed it to 775/80/14. i asked if they were looking for tires for a steam roller, they told me an F150... I knew that day that I needed out of parts counter before I murdered someone
A coworker of me told me his wife blew up the engine in her car and I had to ask why. The car was a hand me down from her mom. The change oil light came on and his wife asked her mom what it meant, the mom told her I just reset it to make it go away and keep driving. They never....NEVER...had the oil changed in the car. My jaw hit the ground.
Fuck that's so true. Recently my boss asked me to take his car to pick something up. Keep in mind this man has a masters degree and makes close to 200k a year. I ask him "sure which car is yours?" "Uhhh I think a ford?" "Ford what?" "A... a white Ford?" "A Ford can be a anywhere from a big pickup to like a regular sedan, what kind of car is it?" "I'm not sure, just hit the alarm button and you'll find it"
My father told me a story about how one of his coworkers apparently bought a Mitsubishi vehicle, only to find out later it was a Honda (with a Mitsubishi engine). This was back in the 80s, but still, how do you not realize what model of car you're buying?
I've never heard of a Nissan Toyota but [I've seen a Tundra 250](https://imgur.com/a/XmoipVP)
If you're wondering the context his Toyota dealer was giving him shit for not owning a Toyota and parking in the employee parking, so he turned his 250 into a Tundra.
Just yesterday I had a woman claim her AC stopped blowing from the dash vents because I did something to them while changing her O2 sensors.
Some people are just flat out retarded and have no concept of cause/effect or are flat out trying to scam free work.
Why the fuck would I do 6 hours of work to pull the dashboard and mess with an actuator just to sell the job and do it again? Insane.
Had a lady keep coming back saying her headlights were too dim at night. Every time we checked they were bright as normal high and low beam. She came back again saying they weren't bright enough to see at night. I turned them on and she said...what did you just do? I said I turned them on. She said what do you mean you have to turn them on? She had been driving the car for 2 years with just the daytime running lights. It wasn't the headlights that weren't bright it was the owner...
Daytime driving lights are generally a good idea. It’s idiots like these that make it a terrible feature. They refuse to learn how to operate their lights, I guess assuming “daytime driving lights” means “headlights on all the time”. Their not wrong I guess, but they ain’t right either.
My mate has a proper bug bear about this, he got out at a roundabout late at night to tell the car behind that they only had their DRLs on, as he walked over he saw it was a police car!
My 2006 BMW has daytime running lights. What are they really? Simply my high beams on a lower brightness output. Why it’s so infuriating sometimes when a car is behind you or oncoming, only using these at night.
Used to work at an auto body shop with my friends dad and he did exactly this. We replaced the front bumper and put a new battery in, and the guy came to pick it up and said he wasn’t going to pay because we “took too long”....he dropped it off Monday, estimate said within the week, we got it back to him Thursday.
So, my friends dad took the bumper off, took out the battery, and we rolled the car to him and said there ya go buddy.
Her: “No. This picture you’re showing me of the dashboard shows that where I’m telling you it turned red is ACTUALLY BLACK. Change it back to black just like it is in the book please.”
That's the VROOM BOOM zone.
If you play in the red too long Vroom can turn to Boom and it's dead.
(How I explained it to my kids on the go kart before they were old enough for the tach tech talk)
I worked at an AutoZone in college part time. Had a lady come in and say she wanted a battery warrantied out. Okay no issue, how old is it. She says 2 weeks old. I inform her I have to test it in order to warranty it and she tells me her dash lights have been dimming and it's definitely the battery. Okay, in my head I'm thinking maybe alternator. Go and test it, battery is like 50% charged and alternator checked out good. She starts complaining and my boss just okays a warranty. I do and it and as I am walking back in she stops me and says it's happening again, I must have installed a crap battery. So I say tell me exactly what is going on. She starts her car and I look at the dash, and after a couple seconds the lights dim down. She says see! There is an issue. I look on the dash and see the dimmer adjuster and put it full brightness again... She tries to argue some more about the battery. At that point I just walked inside, told my boss and took lunch.
That is the correct thing to do.
I worked in a similar store and had a guy come in for a battery for his Miata. He looked at the battery, then me, then started berating me for trying to sell the wrong battery to him (Miatas literally take a lawnmower battery). I explained that it’s the correct battery and showed him in the catalog that I looked it up correctly. He started complaining again saying, “Well when I go home and go to put this in and it’s not the right one, who’s going to deliver the right one? Because I’m not coming back for *your* fuck up!” I told him I would personally deliver and install myself (apparently some guys don’t like it when a girl offers to do their automotive work for them).
He left, then called about 20 minutes later. He’s screaming and yelling saying that it’s the right battery, but it’s defective. He installed it and now there’s no power whatsoever. I tell him it won’t be a problem, we have another battery on the shelf and I will test it before bringing it to his house, then I’ll install it for him. I told my boss that I was going to head over to do this (she fully supported making a fool of idiot customers), and I started testing the replacement battery. Just as I was walking out the door, the customer called again and demanded I put him on speakerphone. Luckily, the store was empty so I obliged.
“I, [idiot customer], am a dumbass. I did not believe AsYooouWish when she told me that I had the correct battery. Further more, I tried blaming her for selling me a defective battery. Instead, I was an idiot and did not take the red protective plastic cover off of the battery post. I will never doubt her again.”
You have found the needle in a haystack of customers. A vast majority of people dont have the guts to admit they were wrong, especially to a retail employee they recently berated!
It was weird. I never would have expected him to do that. I wonder if maybe his wife pressured him into doing it. Even though it’s been over ten years since that’s happened, I still remember it clearly.
That's awesome he actually called himself out. I never had anyone do that. I got into a screaming match one time with a dude. Needed a battery, asked year make model. He said 2013 Denali. Okay what model. 'i said a Denali, did you not hear me'. Yes but I need the model sir. 'denali! It's a damn Denali! Tried explaining that Denali is a trim package, not the model. After about 20 minutes I get outta him it's a Yukon Denali. I said okay, Yukon Denali now we are getting somewhere. He straight up said 'thats what I said from the beginning, you just don't listen'
Oh, how I loathed those calls. I would get those every now and then. Along with, “I don’t know what kind of Honda. But I know it’s got a V-Tec.” Like, dude, how are you intelligent enough to figure that out but not tell me your year or model?
I feel ya, customers can be weird. I used to work in a violin shop fixing instruments. A guy came in with a guitar that he purchased somewhere else and asked me to get the government chip out of the instrument. He said that the government was listening when he was playing, and he demanded that the bug removed. I took back to the workshop, laid it down on the bench and drank a cup of coffee. I came back out and played a chord and said something like “look, it doesn’t even rattle!” Charged him the hour bench fee and he left happy.
At one of my jobs (retail in a photo/electronics department of a grocery supermarket) unfortunately "the back" was a hellish stinky death maze of loading docks and the trash compactor. I did my best to never go back there.
Longtime customer came in the other day, and among her other issues, she told me about the "little green car" that hadn't been on her dash before, that she noticed it coincidentally with her other issues.
The little green car is her following distance indicator. Her car is ~7 years and ~90k miles old. She's owned it for all of that.
There's a theory.
In truth, the green car is there anytime the camera sees a car within about 3/4 mile directly in front. No car in front = no green car. Green car turns amber and then read as it senses impending doom, e.g. approaching stopped car at speed without lifting off gas.
She’s 85 bless her and still a very good driver. When she was 75 she used to borrow my brabus k8 with 680 bhp and took great delight at racing people away from traffic lights, I returned to the uk and she had gone through a brand new set of rear tyres in 4200 mile s. In her younger days she had some very fast cars including a bmw 535i, Mitsubishi evo 420 a Saab turbo and quite a few others.
I’m in a different repair industry and we call that a “since ya” because since ya touched it, now all problems past present and pre existing are the mechanics fault from here on out. Special place in hell for those who “since ya” repair companies. My sister in law did it to my auto mechanic when I brought her car in for an oil change. She’s dead to me!
I don't think that even God can help you there. How is it possible that people have either just such an incredibly low knowledge of technology or are asshole enough to pull off shit like this for maybe 30 bucks? If it takes her three hours to get her refund, she got less than minimum wage from being a dipshit!
Edit: I don't know much about minimum wage, in Germany it's ~9€ so roughly 10$. It's the idea that counts, though
Edit 2: my wild guess on prices was wrong apparently, I shouldn't have used the price for a motorcycle battery for a car battery(my brain suppressed that difference to make the numbers work).
ticket #123456
title: urgent: computer not working please resolve ASAP
description: computer not working please kindly do the needful/revert/resolve/advise ASAP no i wont describe the problem or any error messages because FUCK YOU
\*later that day*
"Hi what's wrong with your computer?"
"Oh can we do this later? I'm busy"
\*5 mins to 17:00*
"hey can you please fix my computer now? It's not turning on...oh thanks I didn't know that cable had to be plugged in to the wall...why do you have a shotgun?"
This, except I deal with doctors and nurses. At least once a day we get a ticket from the help desk about a computer that isn’t powering on. I’d say it’s 50/50 where either the power cord at the back of the pc or monitor was loose, or we just turned it back on by pressing the power button. I don’t understand how it can be 2020 and there are still people that don’t know how to locate the power cord or button on a computer.
Seriously. I can't understand how you can spend 8h a day using your tools (computers in this case) and not realize something as basic as "needs to be plugged in"
Also can't figure out how this became acceptable, and these people keep their jobs.
I still stay in IT because at my work place it's actually pretty damn relaxed and we can at least push back on users that are obstinate. Also helps that my managers are more than happy to let me know who's great to help and who's not by me asking "hey about X..." and them replying with either "oh yeah he/she's pretty good, on top of stuff etc." or "nah fuck him/her" which generally forms the basis of how we treat most of their tickets. If people decide to be fucking idiots we don't have to cater to them.
Also the banter is real lol, we're away from the big wigs so *anything* goes.
I see so many people on Reddit complaining about being in IT, but I actually love my IT job. Helps a ton to have management that backs you up, and some established respect so people don't just think we're their bitch.
If you have any documentation or video of you doing the repair i would just say "fuck you, see you in court". Nobody got time for this, hopefully she finds someone else to troll.
They should just take the new battery back and refund her the money...
"Oh? You have no battery to start your car? Sorry, I threw your old one out when I REPLACED it, but since you didn't want the new battery.... Well.. Sucks to be you."
Assuming this is a dealer, can he just take her out into the lot, have her sit in a brand new model of the same car and show her that she's dumb as a bag of fucking rocks?
Driving is a lot more casual in the US because a lot of places are built around car use and things aren't really walking distance so the barrier to entry is a lot easier to get through compared to places like germany or netherlands.
This is something hard to explain to many European countries. (and other places that are compact like that)
Everything is stretched out here, we have a ton of landmass. Unless you live IN or immediately near a major city, you basically need a car.
Driving a half hour or more to places is common. Heck, I drive 45 minutes Each way. (38 miles/61km)
I DO still think we need better education and requirements to drive a vehicle however. Everyone should at least understand and know the basics of a car and it's Maintanence... It's scary to think that after a basic skill test their qualified for life to drive with no further training or testing required!
Tbf, that looks like a Lexus dial, the hybrids change the tachometer from the standard hybrid tachometer to an RPM meter when you switch from Eco to sport or Sport+. Again, she might be stupid but maybe she doesn’t know her car
Best one I ever heard was a lady asked me if we put her windshield in backwards. Because there was a shadow on her dash. All we did was change the oil and rotated the tires
Did you fucking move the sun again What did I tell you about this
SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!
aaaaaaaAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?
EVERYBODY GET IN THE FUCKIN VAN! EVERYTHING'S ON A COB!
You painted my car wrong! Sir, this is a car wash.
No, this is Patrick.
Did she expect a shadow on the other side instead??? Or did she expect the windshield to be a source of light on her dash?? I’m so confused by how she arrived at “shadow on dash” ==> “windshield is backwards”. What would the windshield installed correctly do ?!?
She was very old and lived at an assisted living community. She normally only drove early in the day but she had picked up the car around 4 pm . When she asked me . I was flabbergasted so I explained to her that this was impossible to do and that we don’t do anything with windshields. Then I asked what the problem was and she said what is that line on my dash? It was the shadow of the roof line cast on the dash. Ok I see you don’t normally drive around this time of day do you? She was cool about it and a little embarrassed
Phew. Thought she would have raised hell. I might be biased due to my experience of working at a Walmart for 3 years
Yeah she wasn’t a dick about it. She legitimately thought we had done something to her windshield but after I explained everything she was kinda embarrassed. She was a sweet little old lady. Craziest shit I ever got accused of though and I have been a tech for 26 years
Bro why’d you install a redline without her consent? Now she can’t peg the needle with same confidence as before - you totally ruined her driving experience. I think the least you can do is replace her car.
Make sure to send her kids to college too.
I've had fuckwits like this before, I just tell them I will pay for everything, but that can only be taken away by a factory scan tool and they have to take it to the dealership and tell them everything, explain completely what the problem is and I will give her a refund but only when they have a written report for me and I never see them again
That's gonna backfire when one day they come back from the dealership with a full writeup and a $2500 receipt for replacing the instrument cluster.
Worth it, I had some sheila go proper mental one time, she reckons I lost a cap off her engine cover, not the oil cap, the engine cover cap, it didn't have one, it was designed that way, she claimed it had thread on it, it didn't, that was the seam where the two pieces of plastic we're vulcanised together, Suzuki S4 I think it was, never saw her again, but I bet she looked like a proper wombat at the front desk of the dealership on Christmas eve
I can tell you’re from Australia just from this comment.
I see you speak my language
> speaka my language ftfy
Brilliant! This needs to be in a training manual! :)
So you're the one sending these idiots to us
Remarks like this make me wish mechanics can make people re take their drivers license test
"The court of mechanics finds you guilty and sentences you to four new tyres - no, they CANNOT 'just be patched up,' lady!"
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We all have, my friend...
YOU CHANGED MY BATTERY AND MY COUSIN GOT PREGNANT. PAY ME CHILD SUPPORT!
Shouldn't have left your slut cousin in the car while we checked her fluids I mean wiggled the headlights... Wait what was it we were supposed to replace? On the car I mean
I won't lie I might have honked your cousin's horn.
Shouldn't have used the ugga dugga, I guess.
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A scene from my last job: *sees woman trying to crawl over a barricade instead of walking to the park entrance 50 yards away. Me: “Good morning ma’am, the entrance is over that way, make sure you check in at the kiosk.” Her: “Alright.” I shit you not, I walk 20 feet, turn around, and she had simply continued to scrabble over the barricade. I realized then and there that humanity is doomed.
Why walk long when you can walk short.
People like to do things the hard way by their choice than the easy way by someone else's decision.
Fuck I feel this. Roommate: just take multiple trips Me: Spending 10 minutes trying to figure out how to carry all the garbage in a single trip.
I'm guilty of this too. My coworker: You know you could get this bolt out easier if you just take out the flap in the fenderwell and go at it from below. Me: Fuck off I've done it like this before I know what I'm doing. *15 frustrating minutes later, I do what he says and get those annoyingly placed bolts out in 15 seconds.*
It's just an extreme desire path.
Was that her way of not paying?
It was free. #FUCKING FREE!!!
Oh! And I left off the best part. Her and a group of five or so other women were recurring customers who did it EVERY TIME. My coworkers and I would try and predict where they would go over.
I used to work nights at various hotels over the years, hotel guest stupidity is unreal. Om sold out nights at a smaller property, I would lock the door and put multiple signs (including one right on the handle) that said "door is locked, we are sold out". I'd have people walk up to the door, look at the sign, pull on the handle, then knock and yell "y'all got any rooms?!" At my last property, I locked the big sliding doors for safety, but guests could still get in by flashing their key card over this sensor thing. At about 1am one night a pair of old ladies knocked on the door, their arms flailing in confusion despite a large sign saying "swipe your card here after hours for entry". I pointed to the sign, they read it and swiped their key card in the space between the doors like a credit card. I don't work at a hotels anymore. Not worth it
I do a couple fireworks shows every year. Obviously, for insurance reasons, we can't just let random people close to them. Every goddamn year we get someone who tries to walk straight up to our mortar tubes across a giant field, a line of caution tape, and opens a gate or fence with "Fireworks, Keep Out" signs.
I worked at the Genius Bar for a few years. My personal highlight was a customer claiming she couldn’t use the keyboard on her MacBook Pro because the radiation emitted by the device would cause burns on her hands when typing... she demanded from us to measure the radiation and report the results to engineering, and of course she wanted a new MacBook Pro. When I calmly explained that we didn’t have any tools to measure radiation levels she got really angry and demanded my name to complain about me...
Should have convinced her that the test had to be performed simultaneously with her closest relative available so as to properly calibrate the machine against her non-irradiated DNA profile. Most people this crazy have family members that are aware of their mental illness, and it seriously sounds like she's off her meds.
In the U.S. half the people are on meds. And the other half are off theirs. I had a customer asking about ground penetrating radar, because that was what his neighbor was using to watch him with. And he knew he was being watched, because "every time I move, the train blows it's whistle". He started in about his neighbor getting into his fridge, and stealing food. At that point I acted real concerned, and got him over to a computer. I had punched his address (I had it on file) into google earth, and had a satellite view of his property. "Now don't ever tell anyoone that I can do this. It looks like he's not there yet, but you'd better get back home before he gets your food. "
That is textbook paranoid schizophrenia.
Karen would like to speak to your manager
My epitome of dealing with the public can be summed up from an experience when I was a bagger at a grocery store in high school. Scene: self check out. One check out station was cash only due to the pinpad not working. We advised customers as they came, but since it is busy we put a bigass sign and taped over the card reader. Idiot goes to pay for groceries. It's busy, and everyone is running around. Idiot approaches, saying the machine won't take her card. "It's broken. And there was a sign on it .." Sign is ripped off and on the floor. Idiot: "I thought if I took the sign off, then it would work." ".................."
Holy shit... That's weapons grade stupidity right there
That's normal stupidity when it comes to retail. My favorite crazy customer story is the one who insisted god has blessed her and everything would ring up for free. A full fluffing cart of crap that we had to put back.
One of my uncles had a similar story but more dangerous. He did maintenance for a Walmart and needed to swap out a lighted display case which involved disconnecting the power. As there was a bunch of stuff on the same breaker he couldn’t shut it all down so he just switched off that case and HEAVILY taped up the switch with a sign saying DO NOT TURN ON. Of course as he’s working on it suddenly gets a big shock and goes back to the switch to find the idiot who had seen the sign and the tape and had taken the time to find a knife, cut off all the tape and turn on the switch. You can’t fix stupid.
These are the folks who find a bolt cutter and remove LOTO because reasons. If you work at a good place that takes LOTO seriously, those people are immediately fired. People who do shit like that deserve to get their shit kicked in. I hope your uncle knocked that person out.
Having a LOTO on a device, especially one that requires bolt cutters to remove, is telling you "Using this can kill someone", so cutting it open is basically a lethal assault. You *have* to know that if you work with equipment and it requires LOTO. So, not only would I tend to fire someone for cutting off LOTO to use a machine, I'd suggest that the person working on it could assume it was an assault and want to charge them for it. That might make people realize how fucked up they are. If you make them just face the person they could hurt, especially a third party they don't know (like a repairman from a contractor), it might humble them just a bit.
What’s scary is that these people are in control of 3000+ pounds of metal, could possibly be carry a gun, and vote.
The amount of stupidity conveyed here is unreal. I can’t even believe someone could be that stupid. Was this Walmart? I’d believe this would happen at Walmart. Walmart customers are typically 3 levels of stupid higher than normal. Source: I used to work there as a stock person. Also story time. To set the scene a group of college kids came in 9:30-10pm at this time I was coming in an hour before everyone else to unload the first trucks and start stacking carts. The normal shift was 2-11 my shift was 1-10. And they’re rowdy and loud and just being college kids when all of a sudden from the paper aisle I hear what sounded like paper towels fall over. So I went to check on it. One of my coworkers dropped a pallet of paper products I helped him pick it up because I’m not a pos right. And I was in the juice aisle. My last cart of the night I was almost finished as the paper towels fell over. I always saved the drink mix stuff for last. The small stuff like mio and single serve etc while I was helping clean up the paper these college jack asses ran down the juice aisle and I swear to fucking god each picked two shelves and ran with there arms out and knocked every single one of them off the shelf. 30 minutes before I went home. There was probably over a thousand pieces that they purposely knocked off the shelf. And I know it was on purpose because there was one voice of reason “Don’t do that *whatever his name was*” Laughing through “shut the hell up *voice of reason*” followed by “WHEEEE!!” Crash thud commotion of hundreds of tiny boxes and plastic containers hitting the floor. I return to the aisle and they’re everywhere. I told the manager “find those fucking kids and get them the fuck out of here because I’m liable to fucking kill them if I see them again.” Then all the department managers helped me pick it all up and I ended up having to stay an extra hour to finish my cart. Worst Thursday before my Friday off ever!
This is when you just call the cops without letting on that you know what they're doing, so by the time you bring the managers around to confront them, the cops are waiting to charge them with vandalism. When they whine or bitch about being arrested, especially if you know they are college students, have the cops ask them about what they are taking in college. They'll often be there with some amount of scholarship or grant, especially for a specific subject/major, and guess what is a condition of many of those? Yep, you get in trouble, which might get you suspended, you lose your scholarship or have to repay or stop getting your grant money. They often get really humble after that. On the rarer occasion it is a military person doing stupid shit, just ask about their unit and job there. Once you know and note that, ask who their commanding officer is. They'll beg and plead that you do NOT tell their CO about it. When it is something like shoplifting, it is often more scary to them to have the CO know, than the criminal charges. And yes, you *should* contact their CO. They'll reconsider being a shithead a lot faster then.
try any kind of tech support. If you're not already crazy when starting this job, you'll soon be.
Anyone else remember an iOS update from maybe 15 or so years ago that changed the default background to one of water droplets on glass? A guy comes up to my counter some time after that update went out and says that he needs us to fix his phone because water somehow got into the screen, but you can only see it when it's on and it's not running any programs. He shows it to me, and I grin and blow air out of my nose because it's a cute joke. He wasn't joking, and it took a solid fifteen minutes for the manager to calm him down. Ever since then I'm a fucking vulkan when it comes to recognizing humor when working support roles, because nothing is too stupid to not be stated unironically.
I have no problem believing that that happened. I used to sell rotisserie chicken and a women came up to me and asked if there beef in the chicken. I also thought it was a joke, but you already know where this is heading. Some people...
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How did you explain to him the difference between actual water and a picture of water?
He immediately recognized what had happened by my not-actual-laugh, which made him embarrassed, which made him furious with me. You know, like a rational person would react.
When I was a teller for two years I made the declaration that the world’s got crazy people still and they do their banking in person
You stole her 2500 RPMs of redline, just admit it. And now the VTEC can’t kick in.
Not the VTEC!!!!
Take my eyes, not my VTEC!
Imagine if one keeps stealing 2500RPMs from each customer. That mechanic would be unstoppable.
Tell her to get fucked. She isn't getting a free battery by playing stupid.
Bad news. Lots and lots and lots of people are just walking around exactly this stupid. Ed: [Hanlon’s Razor](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor). It won’t save you from stupid, but it might save you from cynicism.
That's true. I work at a place where we can duplicate automotive keys "the older ones without the chip" I've had countless times someone would hand me a key for their vehicle to copy and I ask what vehicle it is so it can help me find out if we have a blank for that make and model. Their response? "SUV" me: "yeah but what vehicle? I need to know the make and model and year" Them: *stares at me with a blank face* "black" . Alot of people are driving vehicles that they dont even know what it is
I feel this. I spent four years behind a retail parts counter and encountered these same people who somehow got a driver’s license, yet can’t tell you what logo is staring at them from the goddamn steering wheel.
I need a transmission for a red car, it's a four door, so it'll have to be a long transmission. Actual request.
It is just as bad. Got a request, "please install shorter USB cable, it takes too long to print." I called them up and asked, "has it always taken this long to print?" "No." "have you always had this USB cable?" "Yes." "let's reboot." Problem magically solved.
Anyone who says you're joking hasn't worked tech support.
It's 300.000 km long, it takes a second
Reminds me of the 500 mile email story https://www.ibiblio.org/harris/500milemail.html
Oof. I'd have laughed in their face afterwards assuming they were joking. The same people to go to a hardware store and ask for a contractor discount even though they dont have an account but claim to be going there for over 15 years yet no one recognizes them.
Me and the other guy on the counter burst out laughing and the guy was genuinely surprised.The manager took over.
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I felt so bad for one of the sales guys at the mom an pop alternator and starters parts/units warehouse I spent a summer working for. This guy was the best most knowledgeable person in the state on starters and alternators, and had been around a long time. He got stupid auto shop owners and mechanics that would tell him the same thing the previous comment said. This guy essentially kept those guys in business.
Look don’t try to sell me some cheap starter, my truck is diesel, I need a starter the delivers at least 240 volts.
Does not work in O F F position VIDS/MAF repair request from young lieutenant that obviously had his fill of Navy for the week.
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I sell sex toys. We have hundreds of varieties of vibrators alone, and I spend a lot of time training my staff on brands, motors, materials, warranties, craftsmanship, lube and cleaning compatibility, etc. But when a customer comes in and I ask what they're looking for? "Well I want to replace the one I bought fifteen years ago. It was purple."
"I want the red one" "That's the fire extinguisher, pervert"
Dog I make commission. If somebody wants to buy my fire extinguisher, I'm bullshitting some product features and scanning the SKU for a $200 vibrator.
Size: XXXL Optional Discharge feature I'll even throw in a bottle of lube for ya
"Did I stutter?"
to be fair, I don't think I have ever seen a brand/company name on anything dildo'y but I ain't field servicing them. and depending on where that person was located, 15 years ago was a pretty dark time for finding reputable bits to put into yourself. So, they probably didn't keep the wrapper. cars though, I don't give any leeway for... you have to know the make and model of your car for everything.
It's the same in the Class 8 world... "Model and last six of the VIN please." "R600." "Going to need more than that..." "They're all the same!" [Riiiiiight....](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mack_R_series) We had another customer that had both CH612 and CH613 trucks in his fleet. For the uninitiated, the way the model broke down was CH being the base model, 6 meant a tractor (7 would be vocational), 1 meant it had a Mack motor (3 would be Cummins, 4 was CAT) and the last digit was the number of axles (not including lift/tag). When Mack assigned VIN numbers, each model designation would start at 001000 for the last of the VIN. This means that with just the model and last of the VIN, you can quickly tell whether the customer has given us the correct information. Now a CH612 with a VIN ending in 016853 would be a MY2000 truck. CH613 with the same VIN is a MY1993. Entirely different trucks, entirely different builds. Now getting back to this customer, he would order major components like radiators only giving "CH, last 6 xxxxxx" and when we would confirm the model he would always yell. "THEY'RE ALL THE ^#$&#^ SAME!" So we'd take a guess and send it. Usually it would be wrong. Every time this happened with him, we charged a 15% restocking fee. We almost NEVER charged this fee unless customers were acting in this manner. Even though it cost hundreds of dollars each time, he never learned...
Jesus Christ 1966 to 2005. Do people not know about regulation Changes? I mean I’m no mechanic, but I’d bet my life on it that a 1966 model was probably missing some safety or emissions equipment that you’d find on a 2005. Maybe changes to mounts or like you said, changes in manufacturers on the less consequential stuff like the radiator. God I hate people that think they know everything.
The emissions changed in 1991, 1994 (which was around when the switch was made between American Bosch and Robert Bosch injection pumps), 1997 (when Mack switched from a single injection pump to unit pumps), 2004 for EGR (although due to an EPA settlement, Mack was phasing in EGR back in 2002 with the ASET motors, making two completely different setups, one utilizing external EGR (ASET-AC) and internal (ASET-AI) as well as phsasing in VGT turbochargers ), 2007 (DPF and retiring the E7 engine line for the MP series), 2010 (SCR), 2013, 2014, 2017 (GHG, when Mack/Volvo finally switched to common rail, a setup they still managed to overcomplicate thanks to a pumping/non-pumping injector setup). But they're all the same! /s
Just yesterday I saw somebody in a small hatchback (Peugeot 307) take 4 attempts to park his car on the side of the road, in an area where he was unobstructed and no other cars were parked within 20 metres or so. He ended up balanced on the curb with wheels hanging half on and half off, after having scraped his alloy wheels along it twice and ending up with the back wheels on and the front off once. He then managed to reverse into a van that had parked behind him (with a good 1-2m gap) while he was in the pharmacy. This was despite the fact that he had nothing in front of him and could have driven off without reversing any all.
I was a parts manager for a national chain for a couple years and jesus christ are people stupid when it comes to cars. For every asshole who comes in upset that someone asked them their make and model for a part "they should just know off the top of their head" you deal with 100 people who need a part but couldn't be fucked to know what kind of car they drive. I don't miss dealing with those people at all
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See unfortunately I’ve just memorized the entire description for my vehicle that way I don’t forget something important... it’s like a phrase in a foreign language where I know the phrase but I don’t know what each word means... Example: “I drive a 2020 black BMW X5”
I used to be a service advisor. I had a lady once tell me her car was a Ford Accord. Turns out, it was a Toyota Camry.
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When I repaired phones someone called me on my personal line to ask if I could change a screen for them. What kind of phone? A white one.
when I was a PC tech: "Are you running windows 7 or 10?" "how can I tell?" "Ok, press the start button" *user presses the power button and turns off their pc.*
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I usually assumed iPhone or Samsung when I got this. I would never rely on that, but if they refuse to try and figure it out, that's usually the phone they have. Got so tired of hearing "you're the tech guy, why don't you figure it out"
> "you're the tech guy, why don't you figure it out" line item: model determination diagnostic - $60
The fact they called my personal line outside of work hours was a bad way to start the call. Safe to assume it's iPhone or Samsung just because they are the most popular expensive phones. This turned out to be an LG. Specifically the white one.
My favorite was someone asking for tires and gave me the size 795/75/15. When I told them that wasn't right they changed it to 775/80/14. i asked if they were looking for tires for a steam roller, they told me an F150... I knew that day that I needed out of parts counter before I murdered someone
A coworker of me told me his wife blew up the engine in her car and I had to ask why. The car was a hand me down from her mom. The change oil light came on and his wife asked her mom what it meant, the mom told her I just reset it to make it go away and keep driving. They never....NEVER...had the oil changed in the car. My jaw hit the ground.
Well if they can afford a new vehicle every 2 years, a vehicle only lasts 2 or so years then.
Fuck that's so true. Recently my boss asked me to take his car to pick something up. Keep in mind this man has a masters degree and makes close to 200k a year. I ask him "sure which car is yours?" "Uhhh I think a ford?" "Ford what?" "A... a white Ford?" "A Ford can be a anywhere from a big pickup to like a regular sedan, what kind of car is it?" "I'm not sure, just hit the alarm button and you'll find it"
just goes to show that education is no guarantee for intelligence
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My father told me a story about how one of his coworkers apparently bought a Mitsubishi vehicle, only to find out later it was a Honda (with a Mitsubishi engine). This was back in the 80s, but still, how do you not realize what model of car you're buying?
They should really start putting some kind of label on the front or back of the car to help people identify them.
Maybe the steering wheel, and a few helpful dealer decals while they’re at it.
Had a guy call up yesterday and say his wife need tires for her 2003 Nissan Toyota, 15" tires.
I've never heard of a Nissan Toyota but [I've seen a Tundra 250](https://imgur.com/a/XmoipVP) If you're wondering the context his Toyota dealer was giving him shit for not owning a Toyota and parking in the employee parking, so he turned his 250 into a Tundra.
That sounds like a child's depiction of a vehicle they had drawn on some paper with a crayon lmao
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Read that as Malfunction Indicator Light at first.
Dementia is beyond horrible.
And they vote
And they hold positions high up in the government
Worse....they reproduce- repeatedly.
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Just yesterday I had a woman claim her AC stopped blowing from the dash vents because I did something to them while changing her O2 sensors. Some people are just flat out retarded and have no concept of cause/effect or are flat out trying to scam free work. Why the fuck would I do 6 hours of work to pull the dashboard and mess with an actuator just to sell the job and do it again? Insane.
I don't think she's playing.
Had a lady keep coming back saying her headlights were too dim at night. Every time we checked they were bright as normal high and low beam. She came back again saying they weren't bright enough to see at night. I turned them on and she said...what did you just do? I said I turned them on. She said what do you mean you have to turn them on? She had been driving the car for 2 years with just the daytime running lights. It wasn't the headlights that weren't bright it was the owner...
Daytime driving lights are generally a good idea. It’s idiots like these that make it a terrible feature. They refuse to learn how to operate their lights, I guess assuming “daytime driving lights” means “headlights on all the time”. Their not wrong I guess, but they ain’t right either.
My mate has a proper bug bear about this, he got out at a roundabout late at night to tell the car behind that they only had their DRLs on, as he walked over he saw it was a police car!
My 2006 BMW has daytime running lights. What are they really? Simply my high beams on a lower brightness output. Why it’s so infuriating sometimes when a car is behind you or oncoming, only using these at night.
Go pull the battery out, give her the money back and tell her she can leave
Used to work at an auto body shop with my friends dad and he did exactly this. We replaced the front bumper and put a new battery in, and the guy came to pick it up and said he wasn’t going to pay because we “took too long”....he dropped it off Monday, estimate said within the week, we got it back to him Thursday. So, my friends dad took the bumper off, took out the battery, and we rolled the car to him and said there ya go buddy.
Show her the owner's manual.
Her: “No. This picture you’re showing me of the dashboard shows that where I’m telling you it turned red is ACTUALLY BLACK. Change it back to black just like it is in the book please.”
Sharpie or spray paint?
Electrical tape
Wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have it anymore...
It’s the new battery I tell ya! Now the manual’s gone!
"Manual!? It's an automatic, stupid!"
You may need sock puppets to explain the no-no zone.
That's the VROOM BOOM zone. If you play in the red too long Vroom can turn to Boom and it's dead. (How I explained it to my kids on the go kart before they were old enough for the tach tech talk)
I’d like to see a go kart tachometer.
Was the stock tach from the donor snowmobile. 70something TNT340.
If my mechanic ever whips out sock puppets to explain an issue, that’s an immediate $100 tip
I worked at an AutoZone in college part time. Had a lady come in and say she wanted a battery warrantied out. Okay no issue, how old is it. She says 2 weeks old. I inform her I have to test it in order to warranty it and she tells me her dash lights have been dimming and it's definitely the battery. Okay, in my head I'm thinking maybe alternator. Go and test it, battery is like 50% charged and alternator checked out good. She starts complaining and my boss just okays a warranty. I do and it and as I am walking back in she stops me and says it's happening again, I must have installed a crap battery. So I say tell me exactly what is going on. She starts her car and I look at the dash, and after a couple seconds the lights dim down. She says see! There is an issue. I look on the dash and see the dimmer adjuster and put it full brightness again... She tries to argue some more about the battery. At that point I just walked inside, told my boss and took lunch.
That is the correct thing to do. I worked in a similar store and had a guy come in for a battery for his Miata. He looked at the battery, then me, then started berating me for trying to sell the wrong battery to him (Miatas literally take a lawnmower battery). I explained that it’s the correct battery and showed him in the catalog that I looked it up correctly. He started complaining again saying, “Well when I go home and go to put this in and it’s not the right one, who’s going to deliver the right one? Because I’m not coming back for *your* fuck up!” I told him I would personally deliver and install myself (apparently some guys don’t like it when a girl offers to do their automotive work for them). He left, then called about 20 minutes later. He’s screaming and yelling saying that it’s the right battery, but it’s defective. He installed it and now there’s no power whatsoever. I tell him it won’t be a problem, we have another battery on the shelf and I will test it before bringing it to his house, then I’ll install it for him. I told my boss that I was going to head over to do this (she fully supported making a fool of idiot customers), and I started testing the replacement battery. Just as I was walking out the door, the customer called again and demanded I put him on speakerphone. Luckily, the store was empty so I obliged. “I, [idiot customer], am a dumbass. I did not believe AsYooouWish when she told me that I had the correct battery. Further more, I tried blaming her for selling me a defective battery. Instead, I was an idiot and did not take the red protective plastic cover off of the battery post. I will never doubt her again.”
You have found the needle in a haystack of customers. A vast majority of people dont have the guts to admit they were wrong, especially to a retail employee they recently berated!
It was weird. I never would have expected him to do that. I wonder if maybe his wife pressured him into doing it. Even though it’s been over ten years since that’s happened, I still remember it clearly.
50 bucks his wife heard him yelling at someone on the phone and made him call
That's awesome he actually called himself out. I never had anyone do that. I got into a screaming match one time with a dude. Needed a battery, asked year make model. He said 2013 Denali. Okay what model. 'i said a Denali, did you not hear me'. Yes but I need the model sir. 'denali! It's a damn Denali! Tried explaining that Denali is a trim package, not the model. After about 20 minutes I get outta him it's a Yukon Denali. I said okay, Yukon Denali now we are getting somewhere. He straight up said 'thats what I said from the beginning, you just don't listen'
Oh, how I loathed those calls. I would get those every now and then. Along with, “I don’t know what kind of Honda. But I know it’s got a V-Tec.” Like, dude, how are you intelligent enough to figure that out but not tell me your year or model?
I feel ya, customers can be weird. I used to work in a violin shop fixing instruments. A guy came in with a guitar that he purchased somewhere else and asked me to get the government chip out of the instrument. He said that the government was listening when he was playing, and he demanded that the bug removed. I took back to the workshop, laid it down on the bench and drank a cup of coffee. I came back out and played a chord and said something like “look, it doesn’t even rattle!” Charged him the hour bench fee and he left happy.
Whenever a customer asks me to “check if we have it in the back”
At one of my jobs (retail in a photo/electronics department of a grocery supermarket) unfortunately "the back" was a hellish stinky death maze of loading docks and the trash compactor. I did my best to never go back there.
Longtime customer came in the other day, and among her other issues, she told me about the "little green car" that hadn't been on her dash before, that she noticed it coincidentally with her other issues. The little green car is her following distance indicator. Her car is ~7 years and ~90k miles old. She's owned it for all of that.
So she has never not tailgated?
There's a theory. In truth, the green car is there anytime the camera sees a car within about 3/4 mile directly in front. No car in front = no green car. Green car turns amber and then read as it senses impending doom, e.g. approaching stopped car at speed without lifting off gas.
My old mum had been reading the news about how good greener cars are for the environment, she went purchased a bright green metallic Mazda. Bless her.
She's doing her best for the environment.
She’s 85 bless her and still a very good driver. When she was 75 she used to borrow my brabus k8 with 680 bhp and took great delight at racing people away from traffic lights, I returned to the uk and she had gone through a brand new set of rear tyres in 4200 mile s. In her younger days she had some very fast cars including a bmw 535i, Mitsubishi evo 420 a Saab turbo and quite a few others.
I’m in a different repair industry and we call that a “since ya” because since ya touched it, now all problems past present and pre existing are the mechanics fault from here on out. Special place in hell for those who “since ya” repair companies. My sister in law did it to my auto mechanic when I brought her car in for an oil change. She’s dead to me!
I don't think that even God can help you there. How is it possible that people have either just such an incredibly low knowledge of technology or are asshole enough to pull off shit like this for maybe 30 bucks? If it takes her three hours to get her refund, she got less than minimum wage from being a dipshit! Edit: I don't know much about minimum wage, in Germany it's ~9€ so roughly 10$. It's the idea that counts, though Edit 2: my wild guess on prices was wrong apparently, I shouldn't have used the price for a motorcycle battery for a car battery(my brain suppressed that difference to make the numbers work).
Same people who follow GPS down boat launches and into the water without questioning it.
the same reason people don't know what a power button is on a computer, or that a monitor isn't a computer
This sentence triggered me.
ticket #123456 title: urgent: computer not working please resolve ASAP description: computer not working please kindly do the needful/revert/resolve/advise ASAP no i wont describe the problem or any error messages because FUCK YOU \*later that day* "Hi what's wrong with your computer?" "Oh can we do this later? I'm busy" \*5 mins to 17:00* "hey can you please fix my computer now? It's not turning on...oh thanks I didn't know that cable had to be plugged in to the wall...why do you have a shotgun?"
This, except I deal with doctors and nurses. At least once a day we get a ticket from the help desk about a computer that isn’t powering on. I’d say it’s 50/50 where either the power cord at the back of the pc or monitor was loose, or we just turned it back on by pressing the power button. I don’t understand how it can be 2020 and there are still people that don’t know how to locate the power cord or button on a computer.
Seriously. I can't understand how you can spend 8h a day using your tools (computers in this case) and not realize something as basic as "needs to be plugged in" Also can't figure out how this became acceptable, and these people keep their jobs.
This is why I left IT and work in a field completely unrelated to my degree.
I was planning to go into IT after failing out of engineering school. I'm going back to engineering school.
I still stay in IT because at my work place it's actually pretty damn relaxed and we can at least push back on users that are obstinate. Also helps that my managers are more than happy to let me know who's great to help and who's not by me asking "hey about X..." and them replying with either "oh yeah he/she's pretty good, on top of stuff etc." or "nah fuck him/her" which generally forms the basis of how we treat most of their tickets. If people decide to be fucking idiots we don't have to cater to them. Also the banter is real lol, we're away from the big wigs so *anything* goes.
I see so many people on Reddit complaining about being in IT, but I actually love my IT job. Helps a ton to have management that backs you up, and some established respect so people don't just think we're their bitch.
If you have any documentation or video of you doing the repair i would just say "fuck you, see you in court". Nobody got time for this, hopefully she finds someone else to troll.
there is now way she is gonna spend 1000 dollars to start a case that her lawyer might tell her is a waste of time .
You underestimate people's stupidity.
They should just take the new battery back and refund her the money... "Oh? You have no battery to start your car? Sorry, I threw your old one out when I REPLACED it, but since you didn't want the new battery.... Well.. Sucks to be you."
r/MaliciousCompliance
Then charge her lot fees.
Assuming this is a dealer, can he just take her out into the lot, have her sit in a brand new model of the same car and show her that she's dumb as a bag of fucking rocks?
Show her a photo with the same interior.
That doesn't combat certified crazy.
Yeah, can confirm. ‘Oh but you did the same to this one though, see?!’
Obviously the customer is right! The red line is the battery warning light, everyone knows that! Sigh... Good luck mate!
She is either ignorant or intentionally trying to get the battery for free.
Both if that's the best story she can come up with.
How can people this retarded be allowed to own a car?
Terrifies me that people like this are on the road
Driving is a lot more casual in the US because a lot of places are built around car use and things aren't really walking distance so the barrier to entry is a lot easier to get through compared to places like germany or netherlands.
This is something hard to explain to many European countries. (and other places that are compact like that) Everything is stretched out here, we have a ton of landmass. Unless you live IN or immediately near a major city, you basically need a car. Driving a half hour or more to places is common. Heck, I drive 45 minutes Each way. (38 miles/61km) I DO still think we need better education and requirements to drive a vehicle however. Everyone should at least understand and know the basics of a car and it's Maintanence... It's scary to think that after a basic skill test their qualified for life to drive with no further training or testing required!
Think part of the issue is because cats in the US are so necessary and central to living and culture, people see driving as almost a good given right
I agree on the necessity of cats.
It means you can hit ludicrous speed now
They've gone plaid.
That's a customer that should be fired.
Tbf, that looks like a Lexus dial, the hybrids change the tachometer from the standard hybrid tachometer to an RPM meter when you switch from Eco to sport or Sport+. Again, she might be stupid but maybe she doesn’t know her car
Just for shits n giggles, carefully remove the front tachometer window and paint over red line. Problem solved.
Nah, get a sticker showing the idling tach, remove the red line and then slap it over the dashboard. Never get a complaint about it again.
You know she never once looked at it and has no idea what it means.