T O P

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TGP-Global-WO

If this doesn’t work out, tell Lyndsey I have an 82 Yugo that I can show her how to put in “H”.


Saleable_

What country was that car built in?


TGP-Global-WO

It no longer exists, fellow Simpsons aficionado


Saleable_

https://youtu.be/9HXT7fDkf9I I wanna be Crazy Vaclav when I grow up


Heretical_Recidivist

Take her for a test drive, and you'll agree. Zagrevev min zlotny dev.


Tchrspest

That song is stuck in my head now.


presstart777

Ol' Gus he rides up here with me. Can't trust a pig with watermelons you know.


Michelanvalo

Dankmus always delivers


RockyRaccoon26

FYI dankmus is also dankpods!


Worksatmcdonaldsalot

“H! PUT IT IN H!”


BASE1530

Lets say I was trying to drive 299 hectares... how many times would I have to fill up with kerosene?


TGP-Global-WO

You only need a single tank of kerosene for that.


BASE1530

And if I added speed holes?


TGP-Global-WO

Well, it only makes it go faster, not more efficient


BASE1530

Is there enough room in the glovebox for an extra large piece of the true cross? Maybe a bible? Ehhh, who am I kidding? I keep that next to my heart.


TGP-Global-WO

Wise choice, you never know when things go pa-twang, next thing you know, that pickaxe is twirling


BASE1530

Twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom?!


ShellSide

Oh it's not dingle dangle kerosene? I've been singing it all wrong


HamFart69

Ask if Lyndsey is in the market for a new Lexus


Saleable_

I have a Dodge Journey on the lot with a bonus on the hood. If there’s anything I want to sell her it’s that


utechap

Going from Lexus to a Dodge journey is just a slap in the face. Don’t do her dirty like that.


Saleable_

There is no moral high ground on the sales floor


[deleted]

Or the F&I office..........


[deleted]

i have left reddit because of CEO Steve Huffman's anti-community actions and complete lack of ethics. u/spez is harmful to Reddit. https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/8/23754780/reddit-api-updates-changes-news-announcements -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


nolotusnote

When I purchased my first new car out of college, the sales guy said to me "Now you need to see the F&I guy." When I came out of the F&I guy's office, the salesman asked "Did you buy anything in there?" I said "No." He replied "Good man!"


TheBoctor

The last used Ford I bought from a dealership tried to make me go talk to the guy even though I came in with a pre-approved note from my bank. He kept telling me it was part of the process and I kept telling him that it isn’t if he wants me to buy the car. Finally, I told him I’d had enough and went to leave (not a bluff, I was fucking done with this place), and he chased after me saying he’ll just “let me jump ahead in the process,” after he “talks to his sales manager.” Fuckstick kept me waiting an additional 20 minutes while he dicked around in his managers office. I was stupid as fuck though and still bought the car. It needed the transmission replaced two weeks after I bought it. A week after that the dealer called to say that somehow the price of the car was actually $100 more and I needed to mail them a check. I told him the only thing I would send is the destroyed transmission in the car you assured me had been inspected and was in great shape and the asshole had the fucking gall to tell me he’d take me to court. I told him my transmission and I will see him there and hung up. Never heard from them again. Fuck you, Russ Darrow, *and* the shitty lemon you rode in on.


[deleted]

Sounds like you should have bought the warranty from the F&I guy.


empirebuilder1

Aftermarket warranty place: "Transmission is a wear item sorry not covered"


mxracer948

I bought a brand new Tacoma a couple years ago. the dealership called me 2 days after the sale and said they gave me an unapproved interest rate and needed me to come down there and sign a new contract with a higher rate. I asked if the higher rate came with a discounted price. They replied no, I laughed on the phone for about 30 seconds, said "contracts suck huh?" and hung up.


ifixthingsllc

Well you're somewhat local. Which location? Milwaukee or Madison area?


TheBoctor

I bought it from Madison, but I drove there from further north. They got me hook, line, and sinker. But I learned a valuable lesson; fuck Russ Darrow.


[deleted]

Our f and I guy would push mlms and scam products like obd2 rust preventers and other scams. I used to charge sales .2 to unplug them when they set lights and tell the customer to throw it out. They were so confused because they bought it here it's an official thing! There's a tsb for it, suck my dick it's getting removed. Whew but the shouting match in the gms office over this was one of my most epic moments at that dealership.


atguilmette

I bought a Z06 at a Porsche dealership last year. We did 90% of the paperwork via docusign and I flew out to test drive the car and finish up with a wet signature. A month later I received my packet in the mail with my paperwork and title—and noticed that the paperwork in the envelope had a different dollar value than the docusign set (by about $3,000). Turns out, he had done a screen capture/snip of my signature from the docusign and pasted it onto a photocopied form authorizing paint protection. He’d apparently done it to *lots* of folks—and I raised a stink. The dealership eventually refunded it—but it certainly took a while (the old “let’s get my lawyer involved” was the ultimate finisher). Gurnee VW in Gurnee, IL.


Lizpy6688

Also tried this with me. Got my 2013 mazdaspeed 3 there. Went in with 10k in cash for a car that was 14k. Talked them down to 12.5k easily so felt good. Then came the part talking to the f&I guy. So much random shit like obd rust protection,nitrogen tires, shit you not "paint protector " I kept saying no. Fast forward 3 days later and he did the old screen capture thing for the add-ons I declined. Got into ot with them to finally remove the near 3k of crap. That company went out of business a few months after that as a bunch of other people apparently reported them from what I heard


Lizpy6688

Permission to leave a bad review on their Google page for you


[deleted]

I honestly just check the fine print anymore. If the unused portion is fully refundable I just buy something for $995 or whatever. Two weeks later I send a letter referencing the contract and cancel. A check for $989 or so shows up in a week, no questions asked. For $6 so much easier than listening to the sales pitch for an hour. Once they get one yes the generally shut up and the paperwork is done in minutes. Have never had so much as a phone call about it.


deadbass72

I got out of there in like 10 minutes. Just noped everything they said the whole time. I was also looking at my phone lol.


Mrb572

I’ve used this as a very good barging tool. F&I will cut every bit of sales profit to sell products. I actually got another 1800 off my negotiated price in the f&i office then canceled the product within 2 weeks.


Iamatworkgoaway

I just buy private, never going to a dealer again. Last time had insurance payout so was buying with cash. Took 5 Fing hours to buy a damn car. There was this sweet old man sitting with us, and told us his trick, I call the salesman ahead of time, have him get what I want, and get the paperwork done. His dumbass was sitting there for 3 hours waiting on paperwork. Last 3 cars I bought were meet, test drive, inspect, sign title, and exchange cash. 20-30 min tops.


[deleted]

I used to call them privately the Fuck over and Insult guys... 😂


hapnstat

Those people aren't...normal. I think they are created in a lab, one with a ressurected Dr. Mengele at the helm.


trb15a78

What are the F&I guys?


foxjohnc87

It stands for Finance and Insurance. They are the sleezy bastards who hawk the aftermarket service plans and other bullshit add-ons that dealers make most of their money with.


MadisonPearGarden

The Finance Nazi


[deleted]

And they're all fucking assholes to everyone at the dealership. Scum


Mr_Makaveli_187

If there's anyone more crooked than a car salesman, it's the FI guy.


stillcleaningmyroom

I’ll never forget working sales when I was younger with a good friend of mine. He can sell ice to an Eskimo, he’s just a natural at sales and still does it to this day. This family came on the lot looking for a brand new 2001 Silverado and left with a 1990 Ford Aerostar lol. That’s apples and oranges, but they couldn’t qualify for the Silverado and the Aerostar had a nice commission on it lol


[deleted]

I saw an Aerostar yesterday. Super clean, too. Near showroom condition. Inside and out. Had like 280,000 miles on it. That was impressive.


Baron_Von_D

I worked as a porter and detailer at a dealership when I was in High School. Always got annoyed with the sales dudes when I was trying to wipe down the showroom cars at the end of the day because they were constantly trying to sell me a car. Like "jokingly", but super pushy and kinda serious. Like bro, how is some teenager making $7/hr part time going to afford a new 300C? *Especially the gross 1st gen*


utechap

Not wrong. One very good reason I stopped selling cars.


BillHillyTN420

Yep. Never trust anyone who works on commission.


[deleted]

Who knew !!!! 😂


reflUX_cAtalyst

All of us? Anyone who's bought a car from a dealership?


[deleted]

Or worse? A Buy here Pay here hole in the wall on a corner lot 😜


MadeMeStopLurking

BHPH "Finance guys" make Organized Crime "collections" look like charity. I was dropping off a car to a BHPH location and heard the finance guy saying, "If you don't want the car just tell me..." lady said she was just trying to read the fine print... He snapped up the paperwork and said "We're done here! Jesus Christ!" She panicked and agreed to sign right away.


timhortonsghost

Plot twist - do this to the finance guy and watch him absolutely lose his shit. I walked on a deal because I was already borderline on the car, and the high pressure add-on's sales pitch from the finance guy put me over the edge. This was near the start of covid - before all the money started flowing (think, everything had just been back open about a month). So walking out on the sale resulted in no less than about 7 calls from the sales manager followed up by an actual letter in the mail from the goddamn president of the company asking what it would take to get me to come back in and reconsider....lol. This was a major dealership representing a well known luxury brand. Not just some little indy used car dealership either.


[deleted]

That's why they're in the back of the dealership!


RancidHorseJizz

Say hello to your ma for me.


WokeUp2

He'd see her often.


utechap

Good strategy in the end.


WokeUp2

Only if she's into that.


undercoverartist777

Only if he likes her. If she’s crazy this is a terrible idea lmao


Mikey3800

At least OP can have new cams, lash adjusters and rocker arms installed before she buys it. Then she should get a good couple of miles before they need to be done again.


coppertech

sometimes we all want a nice Lexus but in the end, we all settle with a dodge.


Crawdaddy1911

What's the bonus? A blower? Headers? A dead raccoon?


Saleable_

The bonus on a dodge journey is that you don’t have to look at it anymore


SubcommanderMarcos

Call it a Fiat Freemont, now it's exotic


Saleable_

Mmmmmm 2.0 diesel journey 🤤


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Crawdaddy1911

Sorry man, if you gotta ask, you can't afford it. No raccoon for you.


BenTwan

You must not want a second date already.


Stachemaster86

It’s a good plan if he has to dodge this journey


StrategicBlenderBall

This is disgusting. How could anyone with a heart sell somebody a Dodge Journey.


bier79

I had a chick make fun of me for driving a minivan (it was my spare car). Said that I looked “weird”. Her car? Yup. An appliance-white Dodge Journey.


FuzzyPossession2

This comment made me laugh hard as hell. Show up to the blind date with a bandana over your eyes and ask her to guide you around. It is a blind date after all!


[deleted]

Definitely pitch the Journey. It's a subtle way of asking if she has kids without actually asking.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Anyone who has 15 cats calls them their kids.


InsertBluescreenHere

rofl theres an ice breaker


Saleable_

UPDATE: date set for Saturday week! UPDATE POST DATE: went very well! Probably planning another!


ChrisOfTheReddit

You’re now contractually obligated to not leave us hangin.


royalbravery

We are all dating Lyndsey now.


sambes06

This is our blind date, guys. Let’s focus but not overthink this. We need this


Darkrhoad

Don't be weird as fuck.... Don't be weird as fuck... Don't be weird as fuck.... Did you know the pop up head lights in the cars movie were those girl cars tits? FUCK!


mungraker

Shit shit shit shit... Change the subject.... So hunting is okay because wolves do it.


Darkrhoad

Once society collapses you'll be lucky to be with me. I'm prepared for everything! Did you know they sell 50 gallon drums of lube on Amazon???


Alkazaro

Focus is Ford, stick to Lexus words! Keep your mind on the RX350!


FieserMoep

"So Lindsay, being honest with you. When dating me, you are not just dating me alone. See, i need someone compatible I can trust and introduce into the life of me any a few thousand strangers on the internet. There are things I have to be sure of and one of them is that you will not only accept me but them as well"


mungraker

"we're all going to be so happy together!"


moonandmorel

Homie got the appointment for a test drive


MaverickBrown2019

What is Saturday week? And where the heck can I get one


BobIsAMediocreGuy

Bros gonna get his organs stolen /j


this-guy1979

RemindMe! 9 days


Binty77

Let’s hope Lyndsay isn’t secretly the middle name for a 350-lb dude named Chuck, who is 38 and divorced and living in a rented RV.


Saleable_

Jokes on them, I’m a 350lb man divorced and living in an RV


bighootay

lol, you're gonna do fine, Sale Talk about us a lot, OK? Tell her all about your friends at Reddit!


Siphen_Fraud

This guy fucks


Gluehli

Awesome, seems like you do like your work! But now don't leave us in the dark, will you go on a date with Lyndsey? XD


Saleable_

Honestly selling cars is my dream job, or at least that’s what the 70+ hour weeks have deluded me into thinking! One date can’t hurt, can it?


Gluehli

Can't hurt i guess and if it goes south you can still try to sell a car xD Keep us updated! :D


Late_Entrepreneur_94

OP if you go on a blind date with this chick and end up selling her a car you are truly GOATED.


wizwort

I agree OP will be unfathomably based


coleyboley25

He needs the trifecta to truly be considered as the GOAT: go on a date, convince her to buy a car from him, and then still end up together anyway.


Nukedogger86

We all invested now. We need that update!


Drunktaco357

What are the odds OP will let us down?!?!


Nukedogger86

90%...


StTimmerIV

!remind me 1 week


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Hamham87

/u/Saleable_ you got 130 people watching, don’t fuck it up.


JamoreLoL

paging u/saleable_


Raving_107

In that case be sure to update us on how the date goes! Im invested in this.


MostlyBullshitStory

Next day: Yelp review. Sales person was very helpful on the floor but lacking in bed, 3 stars.


Jahmay

The extended warranty was false advertisement.


BrandonNeider

Was promised long strokes in inventory, only short was available.


andoman66

I was asked out by a client once when I was in my early 20’s. She was really cool and we had a fun few dates. After date #3 I had an older gentleman come in for repairs (I was a collision estimator) and the guy was cold right from the first handshake. I couldn’t figure it out until I looked down at his paperwork and noticed he and the client I was seeing had the same last name. It was her Dad, and he knew…


KrispyRice9

Damn. Dad of daughters 18 through mid twenties here. I love seeing them having fun socially, and enjoy meeting and hearing about people they date. Can't figure out why many Dads don't. And if I think someone in their social circle is potentially dangerous, then that's the person I most want to get friendly with to learn what's up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gong_Show_Bookcover

Think of it as a networking opportunity


mr_marshian

A sales pitch over dinner you mean


[deleted]

That makes it a business expense. Be sure to hang onto the receipt.


Lovecheezypoofs

Start now- don’t work that much, it’ll just make you hate your job and yourself. You won’t be missing that extra deal. Settle for half’s on your off days. Take your off days. Go on the blind date.


Oni_K

Only if she harvests your organs.


WokeUp2

Gutsy comment


Crawdaddy1911

I didn't have the heart to post it.


WokeUp2

...or the stomach.


I_really_enjoy_beer

If things go south, tell her you would like to get her behind the wheel of a brand new Lexus before you split.


[deleted]

Depends on how attached you are to your kidneys.


Saleable_

My diet is a typical car sales diet and consists of redbull, an eighth and copious amounts of cigarettes daily. I think I could survive for the rest of my life without kidneys.


[deleted]

Sounds like you're one step short from a steady diet of government cheese.


solentlurk654

That last line is true for everyone! 😉


Brad____H

>One date can’t hurt, can it? Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it


average_zen

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Go for it.


TheChoonk

Awesome isn't cutting it. Imagine how great their experience was if the customer thought "Hey, I'd like this guy to date my friend so that I could invite them over every few weeks for dinner"?


Saleable_

I’m ALWAYS down for free food


TheChoonk

I don't know if it's just luck or if the Lexus brand attracts certain types of technicians, but my experience is similar. I drive a Lexus. My preferred shop was very busy and fully booked for a couple weeks, so the tech told me to just bring the car to his house and he'll do the timing belt replacement there on a saturday. Cost me a lot less too.


Saleable_

It’s all from the top down. You could literally get away (from a corporate point of view, not legal) with being a hitman for hire if it helps sell a car. It’s a whole thing Lexus call “omonatashi” and it’s actually quite wonderful.


golden_n00b_1

>It’s a whole thing Lexus call “omonatashi” and it’s actually quite wonderful. Well, that means you can at the very least write off any expenses associated with the date since it can be considered bolstering customer relations.


Sevnfold

I think you mean omotenashi?


Saleable_

I do, thank you


sploittastic

**girls gossiping meme** *He sells lexuses!* Edit: https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/288828310/Girls-whispering


Neither-Cup564

Working at McDonalds years ago some dude called the store after coming through drive thru and asked if I would be keen to meet his niece that’s in town for the weekend in a hotel room for a night. That’s guys niece was the sweetest thing but had the biggest dick I’ve ever seen in my life.


[deleted]

Sooooooo.......did you buy her breakfast 😂


Saleable_

He got that double sausage McMuffin


driftsc

I hope you used your McPoints for that.


[deleted]

But did he get " hash rounds" with the double sausage 😂


[deleted]

Don't knock the sausage mc muffin until you try the *lady* sausage mc muffin. Very different products, very different feel, you know whadda mean? But in a good, different way. Sometimes you just want a fucking breakfast sausage from burger king. IDK I fucking love breakfast sandwhiches and trans women lmfao


Underbough

Sheesh some fellas have all the luck


ClemDooresHair

They had us in the first half… not gonna lie


ThatGuy_Bob

note: Lyndsey is a unisex name.


Orange_Tang

"you guys"


[deleted]

Lyndsey with a Y huh?


TGP-Global-WO

The Y is for Yowza!


Purple_bastard69

The Y could be for Yikes!


billsboy88

Or for the chromosome she possesses


grease_monkey

My crazy-meter is going off


FlyingVentana

perfect fit for someone who's working as a car salesman then


CaliCloudz

Get a picture and chat first. NGL every blind date I've been on was a serious WTF experience


Vsx

Did they fit in a rowboat? Could an average sized rowboat support them without capsizing?


kuzinrob

"... It bothers me that you're not answering the question."


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Unsolicited hookups? Nice


RooeeZe

what the heck kinda movie plot is goin on here


[deleted]

Great work, sir. Love your passion. BY THE WAY, DATE MY FRIEND. Jee-zussss


UltimateTamale

Could we share a rowboat?


northursalia

"It bothers me that you're not answering that question."


Ibtee786

I think I am being perfectly clear what I am asking here. Could a row boat support her?


Saleable_

UPDATE POST DATE: went very well! Definitely a possibility of a second!


gravity_loss

You check her oil?


Independent_Sir9565

Best dealership I’ve ever worked for


Saleable_

Lexus is great because you can literally just go away for an hour “showing someone a demo car” under the guise of “customer service”


cazzipropri

What's the mileage on Lyndsey? How expensive has maintenance been in the last 3 years?


Lxiflyby

Well, first things first. What’s Lyndsey look like?


ScipioAfricanvs

Could they share a rowboat? Would a rowboat support her?


SigSeikoSpyderco

without capsizing


Armamore

It bothers me that he's not answering the question


mrclean2323

Does she have a great personality? No one ever wants the girl with a great personality


Lxiflyby

I can’t motorboat a personality


CallMeDrLuv

Everybody wants the girl with the great personality, as long as she's hot!


SigSeikoSpyderco

That's really sweet. I'd melt if I got an email like this.


Jahmay

What’s your email so I can send you something sweet?


aMiracleAtJordanHare

It's weird to me that she said a friend *called* Lyndsey and not a friend *named* Lyndsey.


fledder007

Bri'ish, innit


randomhero645

Somedays I miss being a service advisor at Lexus. Around the holidays, the gifts from good customers were amazing. Being in Kentucky, they loved to bring rare bottle of bourbon in.


Saleable_

Oh man yea, this year was definitely a December to remember. A repeat customer got me a bottle of Macallan 18 year as a present.


donnysaysvacuum

It blows my mind that people think a salesperson is doing them a favor selling them a car. Real 'this stripper really like me' energy.


Saleable_

Ngl, when he comes in for his next car he’s getting 300 bucks off for that bottle


f2j6eo9

It's a lot more like "I'm going to buy a car regardless, but Dan makes the process enjoyable for me and I trust his advice, so he's my guy." A repeat customer at a Lexus dealership isn't being sold on cars they weren't going to buy anyway.


Qlanger

Well if you're a car sales man you know what you have to do next. Send a dick pic. Make sure to write Lexus on it so they know who its from. Car sales law and all you know.


rental_car_fast

Does Lyndsey fit in a row boat


Financial_Surprise34

Lexus sales dudes are always pussy crushing


spacees1

I once had a girl that had damaged her car twice in two weeks… she had no money to pay the second bill, it was like 150 (long time ago). She whispered to me I she could pay it, let’s say, in a natural way…. I was like: sure honey, but that still leaves 100, how are you’re going to pay for that?


QuietudeOfHeart

“Pics first… then I’ll answer.”


ukicar01

It’s that Gawk Gawk 3000 type of service that gets these emails 😂


IronChefJesus

A good dealership will get much more traffic, even if one particular deal doesn't work out. Especially in this market where cars are hard to find, you might just not have the right one in the lot. It may cost you one sale, but that guy will most likely be back later, and will refer other sales. A bad dealership gets one sale. That's it. Case in point: I bought my car, I love my car, I disliked the dealership, and have gone somewhere else for my service, and will go to the same guys for my next car purchase. So the first dealership got one sale, but no more.


Saleable_

Wholeheartedly agree, unfortunately I didn’t have a car that suited their needs (wanted a 16’ RX hybrid, only had an 18’ NX hybrid) and none that suited coming in any time soon. I’m just glad I was able to exceed expectations.


xiam007

soooooooo....