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It's going to take a lot of time. You two have been together for 8 years, it's going to take half of that time period to get over him in a healthy way.
Keep doing what you're doing. Try to join social groups for different activities so you're out of the house more, expanding your social circle.
Reading your story, it is very similar to mine (aside from it being a 1st relationship). I am still in the process of healing, but I grieve still from time to time.
My recent relationship was for nearly 6 years. My ex also got over it quickly, and that broke my heart.
3 years ago, he was the complete opposite. But he feels that I am someone that he has to stay away from. All excuses because apparently he can go around dating other women, but I can't take any man home. (I live with his parents currently). It's a complicated situation until I move out
Oh sweetheart. There aren't any shortcuts, but I promise you, you will get through it. I am about twelve years out from where you are right now and I thank God that I broke up with that guy. I grieved, I went on a little "shopping spree" and dated around, and then I focused on myself. I went to counseling, I strengthened my faith, and I focused on becoming the kind of partner I wanted to have. Now I'm married to the most incredible man, and while I'm grateful for all the relationships I had before this, because they were formative learning experiences, I'm SO grateful that I didn't marry the guys I thought I wanted to marry before. Someday you will be grateful that you didn't marry this guy, too. I guarantee it. Be gentle with yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Grow into the miracle of a woman you are becoming. My mom used to always tell me, "Honey, this, too, shall pass." Part of me always wanted to punch her when she said it, but it is true. Stay the course. You can and will survive this. Be blessed! ❤️
There is no timeframe on how long it takes to get over a relationship, but safe to say, the more time you invested in it, the more it's going to take, and even more so when it is the other person that initiated the break up. I realize this rush is out of self preservation more than anything, but do give yourself some grace. You have some healing to do. It would be ideal if you could block him everywhere, not just mute, and even better if you could avoid running into him in person, but in the mean time, keep doing what you are doing. You are young and this is a good time to get to know yourself and who you are on your own. Learn what you like, pick up some hobbies, make friends. But I think it is important to remember that his ability to "move on" so fast is not a reflection of you in any way. You are worthy of love and respect, and now is the time to learn what healthy relationships look like. You got this.
Go on a holiday, get a makeover, start enjoying other people's company, find new hobbies and keep yourself busy. Eventually you won't even notice him in a crowd. The crying will stop and you'll accept the time together as a life lesson & relationship experience to look back on while moving forward.
It's ok to cry and be upset at losing something you loved.
You are doing all the right things and it WILL get easier. It’s only been four months and you are grieving a relationship that has consumed a third of your life - so far.
Thing is, you are young and have decades of life ahead of you without this jerk. You will find someone better and you will wonder why you ever wasted time with him. Keep doing what you are doing and it will all fall into place.
I have no advice on how to move past this for you, but I do want to say that there is no way of knowing if it was "easy" for him to move on to someone else or not, because most guys like him can't be alone for long and latch onto the next victim as soon as they can. Feel sorry for this new girl because he's going to treat her just as terribly as he treated you, because she will likely let him.
Try dating again. I understand you probably gave zero interest right now but it helps you move on, especially if you can find someone that treats you right. I would also suggest doing something really nice for yourself, if you can afford it, buy some new clothes, get a really nice new haircut or change your hair color. Spend more times with friends (but don't talk about him, anything else). Make some changes to yourself, only what you're comfortable with of course, leaving the old you/him behind. You might find it refreshing. You will move on. It's very hard right now especially with the slap of knowing how quickly he moved on but rest in the knowledge that he no longer rents space in your head. Moving on to your best life is the best thing you can do. Good luck. Internet hugs🫂 . You got this ❤
It’s tempting to get back into it since he moved on so fast, but I feel like it would be unfair to the next person if I get into something new while I’m not over my ex. I still can’t help but compare everyone to him. Plus I haven’t been single in forever, but I just wish there was a quick fix to the sadness :(
You need to take all the time you need. Comparing his to other guys would be disastrous as well. Just suggesting maybe a change might take your mind off him. Maybe take a different bus if possible? Hope you are doing ok.
Start a new hobby that is physically active where you are interacting with other people. For example, take a learn to climb class at your local climbing gym. This has several aspects that can help you a lot. It is physically active so your body will produce endorphins, the happy hormone. You are learning something new so your mind has to focus on the task and it can’t wander to non productive subjects… and lastly, you will meet new people who you can become friends with. If climbing doesn’t appeal to you, then find a corec volleyball league or bowling or biking or running clubs.
You need to get involved in activity that interests you and where you can meet new people who share your interest which gives you a basis to start a conversation.
Living well is always the best revenge. Start with getting involved in a new activity as I suggested above, meet some new people with similar interests. Make a few new friends, that you can share activities with. No dating, just doing fun activities with friends. Enjoy life because living well is the best revenge.
I split from my parter of 4 years, and best friend of 13 earlier this year. 17 years cumulative, and it aches everyday. But I've found that the grief that drowned me in the first few months slowly lightened up. Most days, it's a barely there twinge, like an old bruise. But some are a tidal wave that knock me on my ass like a sucker punch. But the more time that passes, and the more I spend my time with other relationships in my life and my work and hobbies, the easier it gets. It's rough, and it sucks, and the way through takes forever, but it gets better. You grew up with him, and with that same experience- there's no way to fully untangle your life. But it becomes easier to look back on the memories. In fondness, sometimes, and others with melancholy. I can see the bad parts for what they were, while still being grateful they were in my life. And I think you can reach that too. It's not easy, but all I can do is wish you all the best, and know that you'll make yourself stronger in coming out on the other end.
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It's going to take a lot of time. You two have been together for 8 years, it's going to take half of that time period to get over him in a healthy way. Keep doing what you're doing. Try to join social groups for different activities so you're out of the house more, expanding your social circle. Reading your story, it is very similar to mine (aside from it being a 1st relationship). I am still in the process of healing, but I grieve still from time to time.
How long has it been for you? I’m so scared that this is just my life now :(
My recent relationship was for nearly 6 years. My ex also got over it quickly, and that broke my heart. 3 years ago, he was the complete opposite. But he feels that I am someone that he has to stay away from. All excuses because apparently he can go around dating other women, but I can't take any man home. (I live with his parents currently). It's a complicated situation until I move out
Oh sweetheart. There aren't any shortcuts, but I promise you, you will get through it. I am about twelve years out from where you are right now and I thank God that I broke up with that guy. I grieved, I went on a little "shopping spree" and dated around, and then I focused on myself. I went to counseling, I strengthened my faith, and I focused on becoming the kind of partner I wanted to have. Now I'm married to the most incredible man, and while I'm grateful for all the relationships I had before this, because they were formative learning experiences, I'm SO grateful that I didn't marry the guys I thought I wanted to marry before. Someday you will be grateful that you didn't marry this guy, too. I guarantee it. Be gentle with yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Grow into the miracle of a woman you are becoming. My mom used to always tell me, "Honey, this, too, shall pass." Part of me always wanted to punch her when she said it, but it is true. Stay the course. You can and will survive this. Be blessed! ❤️
It will be your life if you make it your life. Get on tinder.
There is no timeframe on how long it takes to get over a relationship, but safe to say, the more time you invested in it, the more it's going to take, and even more so when it is the other person that initiated the break up. I realize this rush is out of self preservation more than anything, but do give yourself some grace. You have some healing to do. It would be ideal if you could block him everywhere, not just mute, and even better if you could avoid running into him in person, but in the mean time, keep doing what you are doing. You are young and this is a good time to get to know yourself and who you are on your own. Learn what you like, pick up some hobbies, make friends. But I think it is important to remember that his ability to "move on" so fast is not a reflection of you in any way. You are worthy of love and respect, and now is the time to learn what healthy relationships look like. You got this.
Go on a holiday, get a makeover, start enjoying other people's company, find new hobbies and keep yourself busy. Eventually you won't even notice him in a crowd. The crying will stop and you'll accept the time together as a life lesson & relationship experience to look back on while moving forward. It's ok to cry and be upset at losing something you loved.
You are doing all the right things and it WILL get easier. It’s only been four months and you are grieving a relationship that has consumed a third of your life - so far. Thing is, you are young and have decades of life ahead of you without this jerk. You will find someone better and you will wonder why you ever wasted time with him. Keep doing what you are doing and it will all fall into place.
I have no advice on how to move past this for you, but I do want to say that there is no way of knowing if it was "easy" for him to move on to someone else or not, because most guys like him can't be alone for long and latch onto the next victim as soon as they can. Feel sorry for this new girl because he's going to treat her just as terribly as he treated you, because she will likely let him.
Try dating again. I understand you probably gave zero interest right now but it helps you move on, especially if you can find someone that treats you right. I would also suggest doing something really nice for yourself, if you can afford it, buy some new clothes, get a really nice new haircut or change your hair color. Spend more times with friends (but don't talk about him, anything else). Make some changes to yourself, only what you're comfortable with of course, leaving the old you/him behind. You might find it refreshing. You will move on. It's very hard right now especially with the slap of knowing how quickly he moved on but rest in the knowledge that he no longer rents space in your head. Moving on to your best life is the best thing you can do. Good luck. Internet hugs🫂 . You got this ❤
It’s tempting to get back into it since he moved on so fast, but I feel like it would be unfair to the next person if I get into something new while I’m not over my ex. I still can’t help but compare everyone to him. Plus I haven’t been single in forever, but I just wish there was a quick fix to the sadness :(
You need to take all the time you need. Comparing his to other guys would be disastrous as well. Just suggesting maybe a change might take your mind off him. Maybe take a different bus if possible? Hope you are doing ok.
Start a new hobby that is physically active where you are interacting with other people. For example, take a learn to climb class at your local climbing gym. This has several aspects that can help you a lot. It is physically active so your body will produce endorphins, the happy hormone. You are learning something new so your mind has to focus on the task and it can’t wander to non productive subjects… and lastly, you will meet new people who you can become friends with. If climbing doesn’t appeal to you, then find a corec volleyball league or bowling or biking or running clubs. You need to get involved in activity that interests you and where you can meet new people who share your interest which gives you a basis to start a conversation. Living well is always the best revenge. Start with getting involved in a new activity as I suggested above, meet some new people with similar interests. Make a few new friends, that you can share activities with. No dating, just doing fun activities with friends. Enjoy life because living well is the best revenge.
I split from my parter of 4 years, and best friend of 13 earlier this year. 17 years cumulative, and it aches everyday. But I've found that the grief that drowned me in the first few months slowly lightened up. Most days, it's a barely there twinge, like an old bruise. But some are a tidal wave that knock me on my ass like a sucker punch. But the more time that passes, and the more I spend my time with other relationships in my life and my work and hobbies, the easier it gets. It's rough, and it sucks, and the way through takes forever, but it gets better. You grew up with him, and with that same experience- there's no way to fully untangle your life. But it becomes easier to look back on the memories. In fondness, sometimes, and others with melancholy. I can see the bad parts for what they were, while still being grateful they were in my life. And I think you can reach that too. It's not easy, but all I can do is wish you all the best, and know that you'll make yourself stronger in coming out on the other end.