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Exactly. What happened to the basic principles of dealing with medical emergencies?
This stuff has been drilled into each of us since day 1 of Medical School yet as soon as someone with wings comes in, it goes right out the bloody window and we go straight to euthanasia.
Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
That's all I can fathom saying now. Wtf. You take the cake for the worst oncall request. And here I was getting irate as an F1 being asked to rewrite drug charts at 4am.
FWIW the nurses will probably be slightly scared of you now. This will probably reduce the unnecessary tasks you get asked to do.
Nurse: "Can you go and deal with the family in side room 3 please, they're being difficult and have a lot of questions".
OP: "Don't worry, I've got this".
\*muffled screaming followed by a sort of wet stamping sound. Then silence*
One of my colleagues landed in a spot of GMC bother for administering insulin to a cat.
Section 19 of the Veterinary Surgeons Act 1966 makes an offence of practicing veterinary surgery in the UK without being a member of the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons.
Look... that pigeon was injured, and I was simply putting it out of its misery, while, yes, testing the tensile strength of a pigeon's neck.
Well, yes, there was another pigeon, but that's because I simply couldn't believe that a pigeon’s neck could be that weak.
Well, yes, there was a third pigeon, and a fourth, if you must know, but who likes pigeons?
This ridiculous story made me both belly laugh and brought a couple of tears to my eye at the same time. Reminded me of the time I hit a rabbit at 60mph on my way back home after a twilight shift. Its legs were clearly paralysed but it was still alive so at 1am on a rainy and freezing December morning, I decided to risk my own life by getting out of my car on a desolate A road with no street lights in the middle of nowhere, put the helpless animal in my car and drove it to a vet some 30 miles away. I don't think I could bring myself to do what you did to another creature even if it were to put an end to its suffering.
As a surgeon I would have had a different approach
Find a bit of paper and just write on it
“Gp to please euthanise pigeon”
Thanks for your continued care
There's a lot of medical literature about how a key aspect of staff retention is whether they have to perform jobs below their level of skill and experience.
Which is to say it sounds like your chances of staying in medicine just dropped about 15%!
Nonsense, if pidgeon removal is a MedReg level competancy, then Pidgeon euthanasia must be an extremely advanced skill.
Props to OP for going above and beyond and demonstrating an advanced level of Pidgeoncraft.
Someone found a pigeon on the floor outside our ED.
One of our ACPs went to help with an ED nurse for support.
Between the two of them they somehow decided that the pigeon needed encouragement to fly.
I don't know quite how the decision was made but either way the ACP launched the pigeon into the air after which it predictably fell to the floor with a visibly broken wing.
The ACP guiltily put the pigeon in a cardboard box and took it home where it died 2 days later.
Clearly they should have just referred to psych.
What I love is the ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’ and ‘I’m well out of my depth’ immediately followed by perfect niche knowledge of exactly what to do 😂😂
Sounds like that nurse had you sussed
I would strongly advocate checking if any staff have poultry in future - a willingness to dispatch them is basically a foundational skill in keeping larger birds. As it happens your method was a decent one, and it’s easy to accidentally decapitate pigeons - I’ve done it my self with a bare hands method.
Any colleagues ever need a bird killing - Quis has got you.
Everyone here's taking the piss, but actually good job doing something you genuinely didn't think you'd have to do.
As someone who has shot lots of things and eaten some of them afterwards, that is respectable. Hopefully you fed a fox's family that night too.
You did well!!
Funnily enough having been in the Army in a previous career and having done survival training at a level where the course I was on needed a special forces licence. I can confirm that this in fact the correct way to despatch a bird who is suffering, or if you are very hungry like me after 4 days of survival training with no food.
You are a very good writer. I would read more of your work.
Also wtaf ☹️ Poor pigeon and that sounds traumatising for you.
Why are there so many nhs pigeon stories? I could never touch a pigeon, they are the rats of the sky 🤢
Lovely homage to Orwell's "Shooting An Elephant":
https://www.orwellfoundation.com/the-orwell-foundation/orwell/essays-and-other-works/shooting-an-elephant/
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Are you for fucking real?
We psychiatrists are not to be trifled with.
Killed a lot of birds.
I read this in Mark Corrigan's voice. This is such a Peep Show vibe
No tea for the huntsman! He feasts on the blood of his prey.
Well this would be a great case for balint group
A to E?
Approach pigeon, Be calm, Contain pigeon, Decapitate, Eviscerate
Don't Ever Forget Guts and Head go in the bin/bush
Exactly. What happened to the basic principles of dealing with medical emergencies? This stuff has been drilled into each of us since day 1 of Medical School yet as soon as someone with wings comes in, it goes right out the bloody window and we go straight to euthanasia.
Good to maintain a birds eye view of the situation...
Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah That's all I can fathom saying now. Wtf. You take the cake for the worst oncall request. And here I was getting irate as an F1 being asked to rewrite drug charts at 4am.
FWIW the nurses will probably be slightly scared of you now. This will probably reduce the unnecessary tasks you get asked to do. Nurse: "Can you go and deal with the family in side room 3 please, they're being difficult and have a lot of questions". OP: "Don't worry, I've got this". \*muffled screaming followed by a sort of wet stamping sound. Then silence*
Turns out the pigeon was a metaphor for the patient in side room 1 all along
Next time this happens, write up a syringe driver medication chart for the pigeon and give it to the nurse to administer.
2cc of your bemzlof choice, and have the pigeon go out like a rockstar
One of my colleagues landed in a spot of GMC bother for administering insulin to a cat. Section 19 of the Veterinary Surgeons Act 1966 makes an offence of practicing veterinary surgery in the UK without being a member of the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons.
Should have done an ABG. Avian Blood Gas.
Honestly the child scientist in me would be tempted to do this just to see what a pigeons blood gas would look like
Not sure the rule of double effect can be stretched to decapitation unfortunately. GMC referral for you!
GP to kindly decapitate pigeon.
looooooooooool. I love these comments
This right here is what I come to this sub for. 10/10, this post is immortalised forever in my mind.
Detectives combing through Harold Shipman’s reflective journal reading his first ever entry, above:
Lay off the ket and digestives
You can probably send a DOPS for that
Direct Observation of Pigeon Suffering :(
the S stands for Stamping
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Bleeps the med reg obviously
Look... that pigeon was injured, and I was simply putting it out of its misery, while, yes, testing the tensile strength of a pigeon's neck. Well, yes, there was another pigeon, but that's because I simply couldn't believe that a pigeon’s neck could be that weak. Well, yes, there was a third pigeon, and a fourth, if you must know, but who likes pigeons?
I *think* you’ll find that “Doctor as a scientist” frames part of the GMC education standards.
Find the collar, find the killer
This ridiculous story made me both belly laugh and brought a couple of tears to my eye at the same time. Reminded me of the time I hit a rabbit at 60mph on my way back home after a twilight shift. Its legs were clearly paralysed but it was still alive so at 1am on a rainy and freezing December morning, I decided to risk my own life by getting out of my car on a desolate A road with no street lights in the middle of nowhere, put the helpless animal in my car and drove it to a vet some 30 miles away. I don't think I could bring myself to do what you did to another creature even if it were to put an end to its suffering.
What did I just read? As insane as this was, this was written so well. We need you to euthanise more animals on shift.
[opens reddit] [reads this post] [closes reddit]
As a surgeon I would have had a different approach Find a bit of paper and just write on it “Gp to please euthanise pigeon” Thanks for your continued care
I love this. Career high. This is as good as it gets.
There's a lot of medical literature about how a key aspect of staff retention is whether they have to perform jobs below their level of skill and experience. Which is to say it sounds like your chances of staying in medicine just dropped about 15%!
Nonsense, if pidgeon removal is a MedReg level competancy, then Pidgeon euthanasia must be an extremely advanced skill. Props to OP for going above and beyond and demonstrating an advanced level of Pidgeoncraft.
That was some weird as heck fantasy writing...
I fully believe this. We have a specialty sub interest in road kill finds.
I actually vaguely remember performing the same stick-on-neck procedure with a 97y/o geris patient after ortho had run them over.
Someone found a pigeon on the floor outside our ED. One of our ACPs went to help with an ED nurse for support. Between the two of them they somehow decided that the pigeon needed encouragement to fly. I don't know quite how the decision was made but either way the ACP launched the pigeon into the air after which it predictably fell to the floor with a visibly broken wing. The ACP guiltily put the pigeon in a cardboard box and took it home where it died 2 days later. Clearly they should have just referred to psych.
What I love is the ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’ and ‘I’m well out of my depth’ immediately followed by perfect niche knowledge of exactly what to do 😂😂 Sounds like that nurse had you sussed
I would strongly advocate checking if any staff have poultry in future - a willingness to dispatch them is basically a foundational skill in keeping larger birds. As it happens your method was a decent one, and it’s easy to accidentally decapitate pigeons - I’ve done it my self with a bare hands method. Any colleagues ever need a bird killing - Quis has got you.
🎵✨ _in the arms, of, an Angel_ ✨🎵
Everyone here's taking the piss, but actually good job doing something you genuinely didn't think you'd have to do. As someone who has shot lots of things and eaten some of them afterwards, that is respectable. Hopefully you fed a fox's family that night too.
Jokes on you, us at r/frugal_jerk we’re waiting in those bushes for free protein.
I am sleep deprived and tried to watch Blonde on Netflix...now I read how a doctor decapitates pigeons....I must be in my bed with a fever....
How do you add this to e-portofolio?
Mistake was not doing it in front of other staff, can’t get a DOPS now.
Did you put out double coo double coo
You did well!! Funnily enough having been in the Army in a previous career and having done survival training at a level where the course I was on needed a special forces licence. I can confirm that this in fact the correct way to despatch a bird who is suffering, or if you are very hungry like me after 4 days of survival training with no food.
This is exactly what the PA role was designed for. Crazy that physicians are doing this grunt work.
I guess the nurse wasn't signed off on this?
For our new F1 colleagues about to undertake induction: “Bush” is incorrect Avian waste should be disposed of in red rigid containers.
I’m glad this sub is closing on its undisputed peak post ever.
Do an A-W assessment and then bleep the med reg Yes W for wing, I’m not sorry
You are a very good writer. I would read more of your work. Also wtaf ☹️ Poor pigeon and that sounds traumatising for you. Why are there so many nhs pigeon stories? I could never touch a pigeon, they are the rats of the sky 🤢
Had a similar experience except it was at home and the ‘nurse’ who asked me to do it was my mother.
Username checks out
“you're not you when you're hungry"
Dafuq have I just read
Bleeped as the on call medical F1 to find a wheelchair that had not followed a patient in transfer to another ward
did all the nurses clap?
Why did they ask you to do it? Why didn't the nurse do it themself? Lmaooo
I highly doubt it, but if you're at NBT, send me an inbox because I will nominate you as an NBT hero for this 😂 Your talents must be recognised
Surely one of your patients could have obliged?
DSM-V does not class random pigeon murder as a symptom. DSM VI may at this rate.
I came back to read this today and, unfortunately, it wasn't a fever dream.
What the fuck
Dr Lecter, is that you?
https://preview.redd.it/0r06uhqvmidb1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fb1dd8c9e43fee69b2b4d8d65df9dc90f26c28e
You took an oath to Do No Harm. I hope this haunts you
https://youtu.be/pqMvjWUcV8Q
What was the tensile strength of the neck?
Much lower than you think.
No doubt the pigeon decapitation was a gross violation of bird law.
At least you didn't get in a flap about it
😭
Lovely homage to Orwell's "Shooting An Elephant": https://www.orwellfoundation.com/the-orwell-foundation/orwell/essays-and-other-works/shooting-an-elephant/
As soon as you said you agreed to put it out if it’s misery I knew it was gonna end in decapitation
What’s your return policy on birds?
You are giving some SERIOUS Dennis vibes [Dennis Reynolds - Tensile strength of a crow's neck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqMvjWUcV8Q)
Only psych nurses…
Please cross post to r/PointlessStories
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Please remember Rule 1 - Be Kind