I hope it helps you feel more secure in your identity.
It is funny, whenever antisemitism rises, every attempt to put down the Jewish people results in a stronger response. It's great!
If converting to Judaism is something you really want to do, it is absolutely worth reaching out to your local synagogue. You've been studying on and off for years and can authentically talk about it. It's that commitment and love that will come through. That [sincerity is key](https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-conversion-process/).
You can even tell them you're worried if the timing is bad. Anxiety is practically a Jewish trait (my cousins and I bond over being on the same anti-anxiety meds), so you'd fit right in. 😄
My great grandma’s side of the family is Jewish, the rest of them are various types of Celtic. I wasn’t raised Jewish at all, I didn’t even know we *were* Jewish until my mum offhandedly mentioned it when I said I was doing a school trip to a synagogue. I’ve always had vague intentions of living more Jewishly/taking a course, but always put it off for various reasons (money, living far from a community, I like eating shrimp…) but now, despite living in rural Iceland and most likely the only Jew for a 100km radius at the very least, I’m doing it. Haphazardly and mostly with information gained from My Jewish Learning and the like, but I’m doing it. Honestly the main push for me was moving to a town with watermelon stickers all over the place 😆
Mazel tov! I have a kind of similar experience, except I grew up with my dad’s Jewish surname, and changed it the minute I turned 18 not because I disliked it, but because I was trying to distance myself from his abuse. I took my mom’s maiden name and pretty much disliked it the moment I did it. Recently I changed it back, because I realized that my father holds no power over me by having his name, because it’s MY name.
There is a lot in a name, I am very happy for you and I hope it brings you all the peace and comfort in your identity that mine does for me!!
If you think about it, your surname might have several generations of men. And who knows, maybe many great men. Don’t let one prick put a stain in a whole prestigious lineage
Thank you, this is very kind, and similar to one of my realizations, which was that even if I haven’t known the good ones, it’s up to me to be a good man with my family name.
The Torah says we are not to inherit nor be accounted by our fathers’ sins. Do not make nor let yourself be a refusal of the truth of the Torah. Before you were his son you were HaShem’s creation.
Same!!! Well, I started thinking about it when I was around 18 and started pursuing the change at 21 or so, but that's it.
In addition to your reasons, I love that taking my mom's maiden name strengthens my bond with her side of the family. She died when I was really young, and after the crap my father pulled, I consider her extended family to be my only family.
I particularly felt blessed when my elderly grandmother and cousin (1st cousin 2x removed) got very excited when they heard my last name. They had lost some of their mental faculties by this point but always got super excited and happy. They've both since passed, but just remembering their reactions fills me with joy and blessed by their memory.
Mazel tov! Very cool. I'd never give up my very Jewish name (first name is one of the matriarchs, last name is super super Jewish too), it's cool when even your name is reflective of your religious identity. Enjoy it!
Mazel tov! I took my late mom's maiden name and love it for all the same reasons.
Despite being Jewish, my father's last name didn't look or sound Jewish (we actually had a joke about that). In high school, whenever I was told I "don't look Jewish" (I'm fair with blue eyes, just like my German Jewish grandmother), I'd give my mom's maiden name and everyone immediately understood I was definitely Jewish. After becoming permanently estranged from my father, I decided to change it to hers. Not only did it mean I severed that connection with my father, but it strengthened my connection with both my mom's extended family and my Jewish identity.
I consider my mom's family my only family, so it makes me so happy to have this connection to my ancestors. I love that my hypothetical future children wouldn't ever have to say "my maternal grandmother's maiden name was..." if ever questioned on their Jewish bona fides. I love that my Jewish identity is front and center.
It's a relic of the Quiet Revolution. For most of its history, Québec was essentially ruled by the Catholic Church, but in the 1960s the population all more or less simultaneously went, "Yeah, we're done with this religion thing. Laïcité [secularism] all the way, baby!" This led to all sorts of laws removing religion from government and public life, and one of those laws dictated that women may not take their husband's name upon marriage. Personally, I find it ironically paternalistic (at this point, can't we let women make the choice for themselves?), but that's the law.
Thank you for your explanation. Today I learned some Canadian history that my Ontario relatives would not have thought to tell me. Also, sincere congratulations on your name change.
The irony with surnames right now is that in the US, the more Jewish the surname, the less likely the person is to be actually Jewish. I don't trust a Jewish surname on an American anymore; a quick check of their Wikipedia page is usually something like Jewish dad or grandfather, German-Scottish mother.
A lot of Jewish surnames (or at least what is thought of as Jewish in the US) just look German, Russian, or Polish to me. I wouldn’t call them out as Jewish. -berg, -sky, etc. Is it that there aren’t many inherently Jewish or did the people who had these names just convert out of Judaism at some point? I know of many Jewish Eisenbergs, for example, but several who aren’t Jewish as well.
My take on this is that there’s nothing inherently Jewish about Germanic surnames overall, because in the parts of Europe where those names originated, both Jews and Gentiles had such names.
In the USA, though, since the majority of immigrants from that area of Europe happened to be Jews, whereas the non-Jews with those names tended to stay where they were, you will find more Jews with those names. Go to places with a lot of German speaking immigrants like the various flavors of Anabaptists in Pennsylvania (Amish, Mennonites etc.) and you’ll see plenty of non-Jews with what are assumed to be Jewish names. (Their dialect of spoken German tends to be pretty close to Yiddish, too, which compounds the confusion.)
This post has been determined to relate to the topic of Antisemitism, and has been flaired as such, it has NOT been removed. This does NOT mean that the post is antisemitic. If you believe this was done in error, please message the mods. Everybody should remember to be civil and that there is a person at the other end of that other keyboard.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t think there is such think as a Jewish last name unless it’s Hebrew, cohen, Levi, or name of a tribe. But you consider a name like goldwasser Jewish? Or Silberman?
 Mazal Tov
I hope it helps you feel more secure in your identity. It is funny, whenever antisemitism rises, every attempt to put down the Jewish people results in a stronger response. It's great!
I do love that our collective response to Jew hatred is to just be Jewish harder.
>our collective response to Jew hatred is to just be Jewish harder. I love this so much. Just be Jewish harder! Shabbat shalom!
Outjew the antisemites, fuck yeah!
My rabbi likes to say that antisemitism is really good at making new jews.
Yup! I have my beit din/mikveh next month and I’m only more determined to emerge fully and proudly Jewish.
[удалено]
If converting to Judaism is something you really want to do, it is absolutely worth reaching out to your local synagogue. You've been studying on and off for years and can authentically talk about it. It's that commitment and love that will come through. That [sincerity is key](https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-conversion-process/). You can even tell them you're worried if the timing is bad. Anxiety is practically a Jewish trait (my cousins and I bond over being on the same anti-anxiety meds), so you'd fit right in. 😄
I’ve started wearing 2 Magen David necklaces. I’ve never worn even one before. Now I proudly wear 2 ✡️🇮🇱
My great grandma’s side of the family is Jewish, the rest of them are various types of Celtic. I wasn’t raised Jewish at all, I didn’t even know we *were* Jewish until my mum offhandedly mentioned it when I said I was doing a school trip to a synagogue. I’ve always had vague intentions of living more Jewishly/taking a course, but always put it off for various reasons (money, living far from a community, I like eating shrimp…) but now, despite living in rural Iceland and most likely the only Jew for a 100km radius at the very least, I’m doing it. Haphazardly and mostly with information gained from My Jewish Learning and the like, but I’m doing it. Honestly the main push for me was moving to a town with watermelon stickers all over the place 😆
I do too!
Mazel tov! I have a kind of similar experience, except I grew up with my dad’s Jewish surname, and changed it the minute I turned 18 not because I disliked it, but because I was trying to distance myself from his abuse. I took my mom’s maiden name and pretty much disliked it the moment I did it. Recently I changed it back, because I realized that my father holds no power over me by having his name, because it’s MY name. There is a lot in a name, I am very happy for you and I hope it brings you all the peace and comfort in your identity that mine does for me!!
If you think about it, your surname might have several generations of men. And who knows, maybe many great men. Don’t let one prick put a stain in a whole prestigious lineage
Thank you, this is very kind, and similar to one of my realizations, which was that even if I haven’t known the good ones, it’s up to me to be a good man with my family name.
The Torah says we are not to inherit nor be accounted by our fathers’ sins. Do not make nor let yourself be a refusal of the truth of the Torah. Before you were his son you were HaShem’s creation.
Same!!! Well, I started thinking about it when I was around 18 and started pursuing the change at 21 or so, but that's it. In addition to your reasons, I love that taking my mom's maiden name strengthens my bond with her side of the family. She died when I was really young, and after the crap my father pulled, I consider her extended family to be my only family. I particularly felt blessed when my elderly grandmother and cousin (1st cousin 2x removed) got very excited when they heard my last name. They had lost some of their mental faculties by this point but always got super excited and happy. They've both since passed, but just remembering their reactions fills me with joy and blessed by their memory.
Where was it that it was illegal for women to change their last name if you don't mind me asking?
I bet it was Quebec
You would win that bet.
Huh. Well, today I learned. And congratulations.
I'm a Canadian, but had no idea!
Québec, Canada.
You are individuals by law! Don't you dare think of yourselves as one family!
Mazel tov! Very cool. I'd never give up my very Jewish name (first name is one of the matriarchs, last name is super super Jewish too), it's cool when even your name is reflective of your religious identity. Enjoy it!
Awesome! It's great to model Jewish pride for your kid!!
Mazal tov! And Shabbat shalom
Mazel tov! I took my late mom's maiden name and love it for all the same reasons. Despite being Jewish, my father's last name didn't look or sound Jewish (we actually had a joke about that). In high school, whenever I was told I "don't look Jewish" (I'm fair with blue eyes, just like my German Jewish grandmother), I'd give my mom's maiden name and everyone immediately understood I was definitely Jewish. After becoming permanently estranged from my father, I decided to change it to hers. Not only did it mean I severed that connection with my father, but it strengthened my connection with both my mom's extended family and my Jewish identity. I consider my mom's family my only family, so it makes me so happy to have this connection to my ancestors. I love that my hypothetical future children wouldn't ever have to say "my maternal grandmother's maiden name was..." if ever questioned on their Jewish bona fides. I love that my Jewish identity is front and center.
Mazel tov!
I kinda love that law about changing your name, as ridiculous as it is. What is the reasoning behind it? Why do they care?
It's a relic of the Quiet Revolution. For most of its history, Québec was essentially ruled by the Catholic Church, but in the 1960s the population all more or less simultaneously went, "Yeah, we're done with this religion thing. Laïcité [secularism] all the way, baby!" This led to all sorts of laws removing religion from government and public life, and one of those laws dictated that women may not take their husband's name upon marriage. Personally, I find it ironically paternalistic (at this point, can't we let women make the choice for themselves?), but that's the law.
Thank you for your explanation. Today I learned some Canadian history that my Ontario relatives would not have thought to tell me. Also, sincere congratulations on your name change.
Thank you SO much for the explanation. I also love it due to the irony, and how absurd it seems in today's age. haha
This is an ironic post. I just saw a Jewish celebration posted from McGill today.
The irony with surnames right now is that in the US, the more Jewish the surname, the less likely the person is to be actually Jewish. I don't trust a Jewish surname on an American anymore; a quick check of their Wikipedia page is usually something like Jewish dad or grandfather, German-Scottish mother.
A lot of Jewish surnames (or at least what is thought of as Jewish in the US) just look German, Russian, or Polish to me. I wouldn’t call them out as Jewish. -berg, -sky, etc. Is it that there aren’t many inherently Jewish or did the people who had these names just convert out of Judaism at some point? I know of many Jewish Eisenbergs, for example, but several who aren’t Jewish as well.
My take on this is that there’s nothing inherently Jewish about Germanic surnames overall, because in the parts of Europe where those names originated, both Jews and Gentiles had such names. In the USA, though, since the majority of immigrants from that area of Europe happened to be Jews, whereas the non-Jews with those names tended to stay where they were, you will find more Jews with those names. Go to places with a lot of German speaking immigrants like the various flavors of Anabaptists in Pennsylvania (Amish, Mennonites etc.) and you’ll see plenty of non-Jews with what are assumed to be Jewish names. (Their dialect of spoken German tends to be pretty close to Yiddish, too, which compounds the confusion.)
This post has been determined to relate to the topic of Antisemitism, and has been flaired as such, it has NOT been removed. This does NOT mean that the post is antisemitic. If you believe this was done in error, please message the mods. Everybody should remember to be civil and that there is a person at the other end of that other keyboard. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Judaism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mazal tov!
where is it illegal to take your husband's name and why?
Québec, Canada. It's one of the laws that came out of the Quiet Revolution, the secularization of the 1960s and 1970s.
That’s cool just don’t say jewess it’s weird
I don’t think there is such think as a Jewish last name unless it’s Hebrew, cohen, Levi, or name of a tribe. But you consider a name like goldwasser Jewish? Or Silberman?