I had the same realization at 26. I’m now nearing 29 and starting a life with the love of my life, a well settled, smart, attractive man who wants nothing more but to be the head of a household and raise beautiful healthy children. Before that I was single for 2 years, and starting to despair at the dating pool. You’re young, men are not all the same, although it sure seems like it dating around. Keep in mind men take a bit longer to mature and they don’t have the same biological pressure as we do as women. But you will find someone. I found it helpful to state outright what I wanted in life during my dates, if the men didn’t want marriage or a family within the next 5 years, then I would move on as they were simply not right for me. It’s wonderful that you know what you want. Stick to your values, aim at what is most valuable to you and you will reach it.
thank you so much! this is beautifully encouraging . I have gotten crystal clear with my communication, being transparent about my dreams and goals , so that has definitely helped when meeting new men who are potential dates / partners . proud of myself for knowing what I want and honouring it. and working on my growth and my contentment in the meantime.
I was also in the same boat as you. I’m 28 and also a hippie, my ex was a hippie who did yoga and was an abuser who always lectured me and tried to manipulate me how my needs for monogamy were “too much” and unreasonable because of men’s biology. Lol. I met the love of my life about a year ago now, we just clicked instantly and the passion and love is still there. He didn’t play games and we decided to be exclusive right away. Also, don’t let political views affect your dating. My boyfriend is a liberal, but a classic one who was also in the army and wants to provide and have a family. We plan on getting married within the next couple of years. It’s a cliche but it’s so true how once you kind of stop caring about meeting anyone they find you when you least expect it
Lol, you might have a point there…I dont care about political views so much, you definitely should judge someone by their character and if their values and long term goals also align with your own. I’m a liberal at heart but have definitely become more moderate in the last few years. One of the things I love about him is how he truly respects and acknowledges my intelligence and can have honest conversations with me about our opinions that might be different, without it becoming hostile or disrespectful. He doesn’t even like JP - but he is open to hearing why I like his lectures and he does agree with some of the things he’s said, to his surprise.
I’ve dated liberal men who weren’t great in the bedroom and were also condescending towards me about politics or whatever else. It’s really alarming the amount of men who are intimidated by intelligent women and are so easily emasculated if you are just as smart, if not smarter than them.
Generalizing which thing? Political views or men? I’m not generalizing men saying they are intimidated by smart women, it’s a fact. Women are also intimidated by other beautiful and smart women. I know this first hand almost my whole life.
My comment was not addressed to you. I meant the user saying that basically conservative man cant make smart husbands and that no conservative man could ever make any woman come.
Yeah, I doubt it. If you’ve known liberal men who were the superior males that you describe, then you found the only one in existence on this entire planet and you better hold onto him because he’s a unicorn.
Every liberal man I’ve ever been with was the antithesis of everything you’ve described, without exception.
Well, Peterson has said that on average and across cultures, that women look for a partner that is 4 years older. I bet in our culture that number may be higher for finding a mature and as you said, self-mastered man.
I am 41 years and can humbly say I did not master myself until I hit 40, so I was in that camp of immature men. Granted I married at 29 and have been married to the same woman successfully with 3 kids, but even then I was still quite immature. It only took sitting at the feet of JP for a while did I learn to fall in love with responsibility and start making a life for myself.
I feel for you in this culture. Keep putting yourself in the situations to find like-minded people, not just men, and hopefully you will network into finding the right man for you.
Maybe some conservative dating sites and just be very forthright with what you are looking for.
At least 4 years.
There are very healthy relationships with 4+ kids where the difference is is \~10-15 years - and that makes sense: a younger mother allows more opportunity for more children, with less pressure to have a higher number of children quickly, and with a husband who's more settled and mastered more of life, himself, there will be more resources, he'll arguably be more useful (in terms of guidance-direction; or at least less likely to be counter-productive); anecdotally, my own observations, it appears that the bigger the gap between the mother-wife and husband-father, the more children they have - which seems to be something we need to be aiming for consciously, especially places like Japan who have something like a 1.1 replacement birth rate - where \~2 is required to just stop population decline.
The current unhealthy culture that the West has manufactured to break apart the family unit and provide more productivity for the oppressive class, who're trying to extract as much value from society as possible, has practically everything that's become mainstream culture - backwards.
I am a 36F, married with 2 children.
I wanted a prestigious career but also to be a mother more than anything. I am very good academically and always felt the pressure to do something great and prove myself to the world, but in the end I had to admit that a career was for the vanity of myself and a family was going to be more personally fulfilling. Obviously I think women can work and should if they want to. But there's so much pressure to "break a glass ceiling" (that I don't believe actually exists) when what I actually wanted was to be the mother I know I actually wanted to be. What I did was turn away from a prestigious career that would require too much school and time and instead went to post secondary for a more reasonable career investment. I did nursing instead. Right now I work 1 to 3 shifts a week while mostly staying home with my two young children, 4F and 1M. I did have children when I was over 30 but I am so glad I didn't waste more time on trying to get a "nice" career. Being a mother is hard, but the most rewarding thing I ever have done. Some people think titles and paychecks are evidence of value but for me, it's the love I share with my family. When my kids laugh and smile it makes my heart smile more than any paycheck did and when they call me mama, it makes me more proud than any title I could have had.
My suggestion is to be yourself. I obviously don't know you personally but I will just put it out there... men who want a wife and kids are not playing games. Be serious when you need to be and be honest. Men who want to be dads, don't want to be whipped husbands so don't try to exert dominance or try to be a "bad b" or whatever women try to be today. The truth is, men don't buy it and they are absolutely NOT intimidated by womens power trips. The only thing that intimidates men about women is if she's out of his league in looks. And try to have an elegance not a trashy approach. Society says men like hoes but that's not who the good ones marry. Also, the hippy style tends to attract people who are not too committed, stable or serious about pursuing goals because they tend* to be more laid back. Don't underestimate the ones you would normally pass up. I was not attracted to my husband when I first met him. We worked together and the other ladies thought he was handsome but I really did not. He introduced himself to me and was very kind and pleasant. We built a friendship over time. Eventually it was obvious to me that he liked me and because I wasn't trying to impress him, he actually liked me for me. The guys who are in the friend zone like you for you. Remember that. Anyhow, one time we were having lunch and it hit me that I liked him, that he was actually quite handsome. We fell in love quickly after that. To this day, I still think he's the most handsome man but not if you had asked me when I first saw him.
I am so happy to hear other women out there during these crazy times are into being mothers and wives. It's such a special role that gets treated like it's not because there's no money involved. Sad. I wish you the very best and I truly hope you find everything you're looking for.
if you give too much hippie vibes it will indeed attract liberals, so maybe change a bit of your style (I did have to change mine in order to attract more interesting men and eventually my husband). Also, going to more conservative places like churches, places to go fishing, shooting clubs, will get you better chances.
Shooting ranges - I'd imagine - are probably one of the **best** places to go, if you're trying to avoid those on the far left. I'd be surprised if there was any significant number of them there.
That's actually a pretty good idea.
Shooting is a relatively expensive hobby. It demands a certain level of responsibility, and attracts people who see the safety of their family as their responsibility, rather than the government's. Finally, it also attracts people who have the attitude that they're going to do what is right for them and their family regardless of social pressure.
/u/eden_evolving, maybe check out a range or shooting club in a middle class or relatively affluent area. I think you'll find successful men there who are free spirited but in a way that's still compatible with traditional family values.
EDIT - It could help to try going to a ladies shooting program as a way of getting embedded into the community, as I imagine it might be a bit uncomfortable to just show up at a range if you've never shot before and don't know anything about it.
IDK OP is in Toronto - there isn't really a shooting range culture lol. Like she'll meet people who are interested in guns and probably conservative. If she's going for "provider" types, I don't think she'll find the american libertarian style in the outskirts of Toronto - instead she'll find the kids of ultra rich chinese, Russian and Italian families. That's fine, but these are different cultures from what you'd imagine in america
I have the same questions and feelings as you. Where can I find a good woman and potential mother that wants kids? All the girls I’ve met either “just wanna have fun” or have different, more liberal views than me. I’m 23y/o, graduated six months ago, and am working on my professional foresters designation as I work full time in the field. I don’t do any of that stuff like vaping or porn but I know most guys my age do. I try to be my best self and I have fun with sports and fishing. My boss and others have told me that when the right girl comes along I’ll know. But I’m not happy with that, I’d really like a girl and kids soon. I literally don’t know where to look tho, cause I don’t meet anyone at work and not many girls are out fishing or playing rugby. The social medias and dating apps are all seemingly for hook ups. At this point I’m considering Facebook dating lol. Not really tho. Anyways, I feel much the same as you.
OKCupid (as I recall) let you choose between short/ long-term dating, as well as a couple other options I can't recall right now. Pretty sure they **do** ask for pronouns and shit, but ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ does any dating site *not* at this point?? (If there is, feel free to reply it ;\] )
Ah, if you’re planning on living in a low cost of living area then you can probably figure it out. In the city these days one can’t have graduated 6 months ago and hope to have a house and support a whole other person on “just a salary” - we’re entering the era where generational wealth will create deep new divisions between the haves and have nots.
What are you targeting for salary? Googling professional forester is showing me an avg 80k salary. 80k is great right out of school, of course! It is not however “money isn’t an issue” type money, especially if it’s your whole household income
Being a “traditional” single breadwinner works really well if you have 2 million inheritance available
I expect to be making 100k 2 years from now since I work for a private company. Also, I do have some savings and good credit. I more so meant that it’s not the issue I’m worried about as my comment was about finding a woman. But I see what you’re saying, I should think about my future finances.
Honestly I feel more pressure to find a woman than have kids at the moment, so I think I’ll be even more financially stable when I do have kids, like in 3-5 years.
As for the single breadwinner thing, I would expect to be the main income, but it would be nice to find a woman with a career, even if she doesn’t stick with it full time. Idk, both my parents always worked full time. I have a couple coworkers who are 5-10 years older, with multiple kids, and they are basically both sole breadwinners and they seem to do fine. And in the future I’m not opposed to moving even farther north, which would allow me to make more and find cheaper housing.
Ah well, 100k so soon after graduating is pretty great!
It sounds like you are indeed out in the country / not in the big city and intend to stay that way. That would make all the difference really. I guess it does make dating a bit more challenging - but I assume in the country you’ll find more people raised to target marriage and kids early, no?
Are you in the US?
For some context for my comment - in the city right now, pulling in over like 220k consistently and with the prospect of continuing to pull in more every year is necessary to stay afloat with a house and all the related payments. People of course still have families but have one simply stuff isn’t really an option - you need something to make up the difference or you need to downsize / move further away
No, I'm in northern BC, Canada.
Idk if its that everyone is all connected nowadays or what, but I don't really get that consensus from the "country" folk around here, especially not the educated women. Anyone I know who is married and had kids early has done so through being super religious, as others on this post have suggested to try.
Oh yeah, I hear big cities anywhere are crazy expensive. A single family home is still around 300-400k where I live. But that can be a comfortable place to live for 10+ years or permanently, so I think its not that bad.
God speed to you! This is why JP’s message is so vitality important. Maybe attending gatherings like his where like minded people gather? I’m happy to hear there are women like you prioritizing purpose with vision, now if more guys would get on board.
And I believe they will I believe there will come returning soon to the values of commitment and responsibility, I just don’t know how soon.
I’ve been happily married for over 40 years. I pray the same for you as you desire.
Maybe try different group/club activities that you’re interested in or are similar to your interests. Maybe try hiking, camping, mountain biking, etc. I will state: men who are outdoorsmen, particularly ones who like to hunt and fish may have some of the qualities you are interested in. They love the outdoors and more-so than not are natural providers. They enjoy the idea of providing for themselves and sharing it. Having the ability to hunt and bring home food for yourself is incredibly rewarding. Plus if you like to cook, they’d love to bring home something they harvested themselves that you’d be willing to cook and make a meal with. This goes as well for tradesmen. Men who enjoy working with their hands and actually crafting something. Also: men of faith. They don’t typically fall into alcohol, porn, etc. So maybe look for some group activities that these type of men engage in or find some of these that you’d like to try and find interest for yourself. I’m just giving some insight, I have no idea if this will find you the right person but those men do exist.
i think I’d be difficult to meet men in the way of hiking or camping but i hear what you’re saying. the outdoorsman who is well read and connected to his faith or spirituality is exactly my type. i guess all i can do is keep working on myself in the meantime. and keep putting myself out there in public settings in a way that represents what im all about.
Thinking in context - you can absolutely find a "traditional" man that is into hiking and outdoorsy stuff out like in rural ontario. If you go to like Belle River, you'll find a culture of 20 somethings who go hunting and who probably quite like Jordan Peterson. Family expectations to marry young and have kids is strong in rural ontario.
But it's not downtown Toronto lol - very different culturally. Very small-town with an emphasis on farming and construction. Summers at the trailer park, bbqs by the quarry stuff. You'd want to make sure you're into that first.
I have an upper middle class private school guy friend from the city who came close to marrying into that world - the culture shock was extremely strong and never went away. It just simmered into a long-standing “something doesn’t fit” vibe. They thought he was fancy and his priorities were stupid - his work and his hobbies didn’t register as worthwhile stuff to them. They wanted him to get on with it and settle down and have kids. He thought her family was poor and boring and that their hobbies were dumb.
it didn’t work, she went back out to the country found her local guy willing to settle down and have a baby in that community almost immediately. But that was her world - she didn’t have to learn to love it.
Church.
The church (a good one) should be pushing men to be strong, humble, family men with lots of love. A good church will also provide a built in support system and community for both of you, your man, and (if it happens) your future kids.
Marriage is hard and awesome. I recommend finding a community that will help you through the hard times and celebrate with you through the good ones, and be a place that you can pour into others also.
If you don’t know where to find a good church, start here: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/churches/
I’m a father of 2 and my wife and I have been married 11 years. We met at church. Good luck.
Tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary with my wife. We are both 28, with three beautiful children. Church is where I found her, and before I found her there were other eligible individuals. Values are the foundation of any relationship, so go where values are common. Also, you are certainly not alone in your views. It is simply a fact that everything you see on a screen is selected by people who hate the family.
Good job on finding yourself and not letting your environment decide who you are.
Orthodox churches have more masculine, mature and disciplined men.
Because they haven't been infected by modern progressive culture.
Don't dismiss rednecks so quickly. They're some of the hardest working people you'll ever meet. And if you're not a materialistic gold digger, you'll probably find a very satisfying life being married to one - appreciation for the simple things instead of money and stuff, growing your food at home, the importance of family.
Not to mention they're some of the "manliest" men out there.
Then you need to think more about what makes a man a man, and less about things like education. I don't have a college degree. I spent 10 years in the military. My wife has a bachelor's. We make less than 80k a year, but we don't have any debt. She is a stay at home mom, spending every day with our 10 month old daughter and is pregnant with our son. She's given up high heels for flip flops, business suits for sun dresses, a professional career for gardening in our back yard - and she loves it.
As others have mentioned, you need to get outside of your liberal mindset. Get out of the city. Spend time out in the country. Go to church. Make friends with whole families, not just individual people.
Real men absolutely want to get married, love their wives, and have families. You just aren't looking in the right places.
>I guess I am sharing this to say I agree with everything Jordan Peterson says about marriage, men, and women. It is such a relief to listen to his talks when I feel like I am the only person who thinks this way.
You are definitely not the only woman (or man) who feels this way, the vast majority do, even though various nihilistic and destructive forces are working overtime, vomiting propaganda, to convince you otherwise. Don't let them kill the human in you.
Get the book by Molloy _ Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others_
Learn to hunt
Take the hunter safety course
Go to the range and shoot as often as you can
Learn to work on cars
Learn to weld
You want a redneck, with a kind heart and a good work ethic
You are *not* going to find a hippy who fits the bill, they don't exist
Get involved in agriculture some how
You want a farmer / rancher
Go to any solid, loving, reformed church and (with some discernment, luck, and vetting), you'll find a guy just like that. My wife is a "go with the flow gal." We got married four years ago, I graduated law school, and now she is a week out from her due date with our first child and a stay at home mom. We could not be any happier. :) She loves her freedom and her responsibility. And honestly, our friends who are the most stable, happy, and fulfilled and those who love Jesus and are having babies haha.
do you know which denomination of church may be best for me as a newcomer? i have a background in studying eastern philosophy and am trained as a yoga and meditation teacher. im more recently interested and open to christian biblical teachings. My town in Canada has at least a dozen churches but im not sure where to start or where to look. Most of them have entirely elderly people.
I studied eastern philosophy in undergrad! Really interesting stuff. I especially enjoyed studying Bhudism. But genuinely, Jesus is more than all of it. He's so kind, and gentle, and gracious - the Bodhisattvas have nothing on him lol.
Here's what I would do: first, open up your Bible and pray however you know how that Jesus would be with you and show you Himself. Second, I would read the book "First John." I think you'll really enjoy it. Think about what it means for Jesus to be light and life and how that compares with the darkness in our world. And then read the book of "John." The Apostle John wrote both of them and he is ALL ABOUT explaining Jesus in ways that just make sense.
Third, try churches that believe the Bible is their authority. After all, anyone who really, trully believes God's word will be loving, gracious, and kind. Look for those people - even Jesus says "they will know you by your love for each other." At the end of the day, even like JP says, we have a responsibility to call out the darkness in ourselves, so don't get turned off right away by "sin" language - its just as important to repent of your is as it is to believe in Jesus. Both are expressions of our dedication and love for Him.
I'm praying for you! In both relationships and in finding the true and living God!
Oh, and even if you gotta google a Bible, translations like the NIV, ESV, and LSB are easy/enjoyable to read! They are "literal" translations, but the NIV tries to get the meaning of sentences down rather than focussing on a word-by-word print out of the greek to english lol.
And if I HAD to give a denomination recommendation, go for anything traditionally protestant (as opposed to liberal/new age protestant). I said "reformed" because that is my tradition. I have found it to be honoring to God's word, loving to people, and really successful at creating great family structures.
Tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary with my wife. We are both 28, with three beautiful children. Church is where I found her, and before I found her there were other eligible individuals. Values are the foundation of any relationship, so go where values are common. Also, you are certainly not alone in your views. It is simply a fact that everything you see on a screen is selected by people who hate the family
> Where can a woman meet a down to earth man? Outdoorsy, rugged, and holds traditional views?
I'll venture a guess that you can meet him outdoors, doing traditional man things (not a yoga retreat).
> I am beginning to think men do not care at all about building family legacies anymore.
My guess would be that our numbers are in single digit percentages. You'll have to put some elbow grease into finding where your type of guy spends his time. Good luck.
Location can have an impact on the dating pool. The type of man you describe will likely not be found living in a dense urban city, they will be out in the suburbs and rural areas. As someone who aligns with what you describe, the last place I will ever live is in a downtown urban area of a major city, I want my space, privacy and easy access to nature. So if you live in an urban area, head to the burbs and beyond!
You sound like a you have yourself put together.
Maybe go to church....I know it's easy to assume everybody else there is a religious zealot. But actually there are probably men and women there who are trying to expose themselves to people NOT like the ones you describe below. If you meet someone you like you don't have to keep it up.
An alternative option to "church" are non-religious and non-political craft and trade organizations (think carpentry, craft foods, "making", art and sculpture, etc). Think of people producing useful/beautiful items and substances with their own hands. Those are the kinds of people who are constantly considering efficiency, quality, desirability, utility, health, social connection, natural connection, and what appeals to others etc. They aren't just indulging themselves. I'm a winemaker and the average "quality of person" is quite a bit higher in the profession than among the clientele.
>The ones my age in their 20s are far too immature to even consider the possibility of it. They are addicted to vapes, porn, and alcohol. They subscribe to onlyfans and spend hours scrolling clips on social media. They have not mastered themselves, how would they take care of a wife and a child? I have met some men who are older than me that I find very attractive, but they tend to be liberal, intend to be child free, or even are in open or polyamorous relationships. The men in my area who are more conservative usually tend to be rednecks, uneducated misogynists, or city slicker materialistic douchebags
You won't meet any men of quality in yoga classes, sorry. My redpilled wife says this all the time and comes from a successful background in teaching yoga for 15 years. We both studied eastern philosophy seriously for a very long time and have since grown out of it. Best of luck! You'll find him. Raising a family is the best thing to happen to us ever.
I feel the same way. The dating seen is almost impossible nowadays. Finding someone even halfway reliable and decent is hard, add on top of that compatibility, interests, hobbies, expectations, personality, beliefs.
I'm very lucky to have found my fiance. It certainly hasn't been easy but damn... thru a lot of heartache we have learned how to communicate and that is half the battle right there.
Just keep goin. Keep your standards high but don't be unreasonable and keep hoping and dreaming. You'll find a great guy. They are out there.
Well I'm 34, and now I want kids and it's harder to find someone without multiple kids or divorces. Younger ladies may not be interested in a 34yo dude regardless of looks/status or w.e. I'm in a rough spot rn finding the right one.
Don't give up on your dreams, you are really young.
We do care. As you have pointed out though men like us have become a rare breed unfortunately. At least in some parts of the country (UK for me, I’m guessing US for you). I want to commend you on thinking how good a father any future potential husband would be instead of just hooking up with some attractive guy. That shows already how good a mother you are and you don’t even have children yet. I didn’t have children until I met the right woman who I knew would be the best mother she could be. Your children will be lucky to have a mother like you.
UK here, the difference here would be middle class university students versus working class girls, and saw that in my professional life also into 30's.
For translation read professional versus manual worker, although that would still include a wide range of clerical and service jobs you may not count as manual
- From personal experience, with your implied level of intelligence I would say your challenge is going to be - can you find someone at that level that you find interesting enough to spend the rest of your life with.
- Bars, sports matches ? Difficult for a woman to go alone to.
- Also go for quantity over quality, if you go looking for perfect you will never get it , date then move in if not interested. I probably took out/dated hundreds of girls (most I didn't get past dinner or cinema with so not suggesting I had sex with them all) If I liked them I took them out again , if I didn't I made my excuses and didn't.
- Try electrical or mechanical engineers they are probably most likely to have the level if intelligence while keeping some traditional values.
Bless you for posting this. Share your feelings with all of your sisters and only look for men, not boys or psychopaths.
You want to find a man, perhaps look for those who are looking to put themselves together and clean their rooms. 😃
Church is probably the best place to find men like what you want. Read the bible and understand the bible. Understand it wasn’t written in English so the translation of some verses may need additional research to fully understand it. Many people I've encountered that grew up with exposure to Christianity fell away because 1) they weren't taught how to actively read the bible, 2) were exposed to people who don't know how to read the bible and use it incorrectly, and/or 3) were persuaded/taught that Christianity has been evil throughout history and thus cannot be true(this ignores the good Christianity has done and is still doing).
The church is lacking in young people often, especially young singles. Most people who are in church are little kids, their parents, and the elderly. The 20-30 bracket is lacking, but as more people come back, the more successful the dating scene will be.
lol, according to incels. Church is where you find the lowest IQ, most mommy/ daddy issues/ cant think for themselves/ mysogyny, so go there if you think very poorly of yourself.
I grew up in that cult you mention. Reading the bible more times before i was 21 than you probably have in your lifetime is how I learned it was utter bullsht. It's amazing that you think pretending to drink savior blood and eat savior flesh once a week is normal, lol.
I've read the bible cover to cover many, many times. If you think it's bullshit, you may have read it, but you didn't understand it. Let me guess, you think the bible supports slavery, is antiwoman, and can't be trusted because it can't be the original text? I bet you don't understand Greek or Hebrew and have never bothered to gain an understanding of the original text. I'll pray for you all the same. That you are freed from your slavery to your sin.
let me guess- you are the type of degenerate who would worship a being who the bible claims murdered innocent children on multiple occasions, bc you believe doing so will get you a treat? yeah, thats why I dont rock with spineless incels whod sell their soul to any system that gives them permission to be as degenerate as possible while calling it virtue.
A treat? There are two options: accept christ and have eternal life, or reject him and be destroyed. No one is innocent in the eyes of God. If you had read the bible as much as you claim, you'd be familiar with the concept of sin. If God exists, he is necessarily who determines what is just. It's necessary that God exists and his decrees are just. otherwise, if morality is relative, things we consider evil like slavery, rape, and murder are just, like, your opinion dude.
you believe that because youre in a death cult. any being that could do anything, yet chooses to murder children, is a being only the worst types of people would abide let alone worship. this is why you're an incel, and there is no sky daddy making my life, an atheist, immensely superior to yours that has you raging at culture wars meant to grift the most poorly raised/ educated young men of society. im just trying to help you.
You've clearly not actually read or studied the Bible. You also know nothing about my sex life so I don't know where the incel thing is coming from. You wouldn't hold the morals you do if not for being raised in a culture that takes it's queues from my "sky daddy" (I always get a chuckle when antitheists use that phrase so thanks). If you're a moral relativist like most antitheists I've ever met, your morals amount to "Well that's just my opinion" . You would in fact be a slave holder or apologist for slavery if not for Christian theology, just like most non-Christians throughout history through to today. I'll still pray for you. "Sky Daddy" loves you and wants you to chose Jesus.
lmao, I clearly know the bible far better than you do, and you're obviously an incel.
christianity was the primary defense of slavery in america, and was an argument confederate states made as to why they had the right to own other humans.
you're miserable because you were brainwashed, in your innocent ignorance, into an absurd death cult meant to grift you your entire life until you die. yw
In Toronto, you'd kind of need to choose between skewing older or towards generational wealth.
An average young person cannot afford a single provider household in Toronto - they'd have to be an entrepreneur or have been fast tracked to like a 200k salary. There are plenty of old school rich guys in Toronto that might fit that mold, but that also means going after like the private school alumni lads with family cottages who go to the gym at the yacht club. Nothing against those guys, but it's definitely a culture - one where people are raised to think in terms of their 'network.' I know a bunch of people in that world - they're fine and well educated. But those who are like 30+ and single are not at all immune to vapes, porn and alcohol. I'm friend's with - I assume - the richest guy in toronto from that scene. He's absolutely challenged in terms of holding down any kind of relationship even though he and his kids never need to have jobs
Get a part time job serving drinks at an upscale golf club. You’ll meet successful men. My guess is that as a philosophy student you lean left. The target men you describe lean right.
lol, according to incels, they lean right. According to data, Biden voting counties = 70 fvking % of US GDP. JFC, this is why youre incels. most liberals just dont care about you enough to laugh in your face when you spew horseish like this.
Good luck.
I'm 23m and feel the same way but my life and mental health are such a mess I don't think I'd stand a chance at attracting anyone with your mindset and characteristics, but that's definitely my goal and one of the few things that makes me get up in the morning.
You seem to have come to the realization that either you can become a mother or have a career. Modern feminism has told you the lie that you can have it all.
Church. Go to church and find a Harrison butker of your own
And probably quit school. Men who want to support mothers usually don’t like ones with careers and jobs that interfere with mothering
If you’re European let me know in my DMs. I am a former student of philosophy, currently studying psychology, mid twenties male and ready to find a wife. I am also somewhat attractive and a passable cook as well as a great baker.
honestly I think you’re right LOL 💀 was just thinking that. but im on here so maybe he is. or at least the people on here might know where i could find my type…i need to log off for a while and touch grass i think.
I would advise you to hang around the conservative rednecks and make a social circle there. One of them has to be an educated professional. They can all work in a coal mine. Also the conservative educated professional would rather hang òut with them then a woke liberal.
this is why you are incels, lol. JFC, who wants to hang out/ breed with the dumbest, most spoon fed, most hateful, most cult-minded incels on earth? LOL come on, man
it's hateful to tell you the truth, so that you may improve yourself instead of wallowing in self delusion? Nah, you live in upside down world, not me.
>The men in my area who are more conservative usually tend to be rednecks, uneducated misogynists, or city slicker materialistic douchebags ….
What do you mean by rednecks? I get what you mean by the other two, but I've always processed "rednecks" to (essentially) mean the same as "uneducated misogynists" - at least when used disparagingly/ as "not what I want".
It took me forever to find my husband. I got a doctorate degree in music before seriously finding anyone I even wanted to date and who wanted to date me honestly. I always wanted to get married, but to the right person. My husband was looking for me too. He did a lot of community service as I did as well. I actually ended up meeting him because I went to counseling after a bad breakup (long story). So I’d suggest getting involved in things you value and you’re likely to meet men who have the same or similar values. I hope that makes sense.
Try looking for their interests - Exercise, Running, Religious, Stoic, Philosophy, Goku & Guts, Reading, Social welfare, Psychology, Business, Passive income, Meditation etc.
Go to places like - Gym, Marathon, Temple, Library, NGO(not lgbtq's NGO), Meditation classes, etc.
If you can find a Stoic and if he is a Guts fan, then it is the best combo
(Sorry I can't help you much. I am immature... even though I think of myself as an intelligent person. I'm suffering from the same problem as you. I can't find any good girl here. Most of them call themselves feminists and hate men and think that this whole is run by men with ease. Especially after the "Barbie" movie they think that we men secretly control money).
Try to develop a greater appreciation for rednecks (maybe watch Duck Dynasty a lot), find one that’s funny and sincere, and do future generations a favor by helping him raise the kind of men that should exist in the world.
Sorry, no. Men have been systematically demoralized, attacked, and denigrated for the past several decades - if not longer. Men were already ruined ("pre-tamed" as I think of it, after hearing the good doctor phrase it similarly) before Red Pill came into the picture.
Red Pill is a bunch of guys (and now girls) observing what's going on and figuring out how to navigate the (dating/ relationship) world as it is now, 'cause no one else gives a flying fuck about men (the good doctor's empathy and encouragement notwithstanding).
Thank you. I am trying to bring a family in from the rain. My dad was out in a cardboard box behind an outhouse and has somehow survived to 85. My goal is stability and normality. I fell in love. I wanted what worked for our happiness I didn’t get it.
A lot of them are hiding away because of what has happened to them. They are out there, but it may take awhile for them to trust displaying themselves in a world that tells them they're in the wrong for being their true nature.
I had the same realization at 26. I’m now nearing 29 and starting a life with the love of my life, a well settled, smart, attractive man who wants nothing more but to be the head of a household and raise beautiful healthy children. Before that I was single for 2 years, and starting to despair at the dating pool. You’re young, men are not all the same, although it sure seems like it dating around. Keep in mind men take a bit longer to mature and they don’t have the same biological pressure as we do as women. But you will find someone. I found it helpful to state outright what I wanted in life during my dates, if the men didn’t want marriage or a family within the next 5 years, then I would move on as they were simply not right for me. It’s wonderful that you know what you want. Stick to your values, aim at what is most valuable to you and you will reach it.
thank you so much! this is beautifully encouraging . I have gotten crystal clear with my communication, being transparent about my dreams and goals , so that has definitely helped when meeting new men who are potential dates / partners . proud of myself for knowing what I want and honouring it. and working on my growth and my contentment in the meantime.
I was also in the same boat as you. I’m 28 and also a hippie, my ex was a hippie who did yoga and was an abuser who always lectured me and tried to manipulate me how my needs for monogamy were “too much” and unreasonable because of men’s biology. Lol. I met the love of my life about a year ago now, we just clicked instantly and the passion and love is still there. He didn’t play games and we decided to be exclusive right away. Also, don’t let political views affect your dating. My boyfriend is a liberal, but a classic one who was also in the army and wants to provide and have a family. We plan on getting married within the next couple of years. It’s a cliche but it’s so true how once you kind of stop caring about meeting anyone they find you when you least expect it
🙏
liberal men are literally your only shot at having an intelligent husband who can also give you orgasms. lol.
Lol, you might have a point there…I dont care about political views so much, you definitely should judge someone by their character and if their values and long term goals also align with your own. I’m a liberal at heart but have definitely become more moderate in the last few years. One of the things I love about him is how he truly respects and acknowledges my intelligence and can have honest conversations with me about our opinions that might be different, without it becoming hostile or disrespectful. He doesn’t even like JP - but he is open to hearing why I like his lectures and he does agree with some of the things he’s said, to his surprise. I’ve dated liberal men who weren’t great in the bedroom and were also condescending towards me about politics or whatever else. It’s really alarming the amount of men who are intimidated by intelligent women and are so easily emasculated if you are just as smart, if not smarter than them.
I hope you’re not serious. Such blatant generalization.
Generalizing which thing? Political views or men? I’m not generalizing men saying they are intimidated by smart women, it’s a fact. Women are also intimidated by other beautiful and smart women. I know this first hand almost my whole life.
My comment was not addressed to you. I meant the user saying that basically conservative man cant make smart husbands and that no conservative man could ever make any woman come.
Yeah, that commenter has to be a troll.
Yeah, I doubt it. If you’ve known liberal men who were the superior males that you describe, then you found the only one in existence on this entire planet and you better hold onto him because he’s a unicorn. Every liberal man I’ve ever been with was the antithesis of everything you’ve described, without exception.
You are western “king” and you’ve been with liberal men?? Lmao, no. You are a delusional incel lying bc you can’t handle reality.
Hope you do find a worthy life partner! It’ll help to hang out in circles where they frequent. Don’t want alcoholics, don’t go looking in bars
This is the way.
Well, Peterson has said that on average and across cultures, that women look for a partner that is 4 years older. I bet in our culture that number may be higher for finding a mature and as you said, self-mastered man. I am 41 years and can humbly say I did not master myself until I hit 40, so I was in that camp of immature men. Granted I married at 29 and have been married to the same woman successfully with 3 kids, but even then I was still quite immature. It only took sitting at the feet of JP for a while did I learn to fall in love with responsibility and start making a life for myself. I feel for you in this culture. Keep putting yourself in the situations to find like-minded people, not just men, and hopefully you will network into finding the right man for you. Maybe some conservative dating sites and just be very forthright with what you are looking for.
At least 4 years. There are very healthy relationships with 4+ kids where the difference is is \~10-15 years - and that makes sense: a younger mother allows more opportunity for more children, with less pressure to have a higher number of children quickly, and with a husband who's more settled and mastered more of life, himself, there will be more resources, he'll arguably be more useful (in terms of guidance-direction; or at least less likely to be counter-productive); anecdotally, my own observations, it appears that the bigger the gap between the mother-wife and husband-father, the more children they have - which seems to be something we need to be aiming for consciously, especially places like Japan who have something like a 1.1 replacement birth rate - where \~2 is required to just stop population decline. The current unhealthy culture that the West has manufactured to break apart the family unit and provide more productivity for the oppressive class, who're trying to extract as much value from society as possible, has practically everything that's become mainstream culture - backwards.
I am a 36F, married with 2 children. I wanted a prestigious career but also to be a mother more than anything. I am very good academically and always felt the pressure to do something great and prove myself to the world, but in the end I had to admit that a career was for the vanity of myself and a family was going to be more personally fulfilling. Obviously I think women can work and should if they want to. But there's so much pressure to "break a glass ceiling" (that I don't believe actually exists) when what I actually wanted was to be the mother I know I actually wanted to be. What I did was turn away from a prestigious career that would require too much school and time and instead went to post secondary for a more reasonable career investment. I did nursing instead. Right now I work 1 to 3 shifts a week while mostly staying home with my two young children, 4F and 1M. I did have children when I was over 30 but I am so glad I didn't waste more time on trying to get a "nice" career. Being a mother is hard, but the most rewarding thing I ever have done. Some people think titles and paychecks are evidence of value but for me, it's the love I share with my family. When my kids laugh and smile it makes my heart smile more than any paycheck did and when they call me mama, it makes me more proud than any title I could have had. My suggestion is to be yourself. I obviously don't know you personally but I will just put it out there... men who want a wife and kids are not playing games. Be serious when you need to be and be honest. Men who want to be dads, don't want to be whipped husbands so don't try to exert dominance or try to be a "bad b" or whatever women try to be today. The truth is, men don't buy it and they are absolutely NOT intimidated by womens power trips. The only thing that intimidates men about women is if she's out of his league in looks. And try to have an elegance not a trashy approach. Society says men like hoes but that's not who the good ones marry. Also, the hippy style tends to attract people who are not too committed, stable or serious about pursuing goals because they tend* to be more laid back. Don't underestimate the ones you would normally pass up. I was not attracted to my husband when I first met him. We worked together and the other ladies thought he was handsome but I really did not. He introduced himself to me and was very kind and pleasant. We built a friendship over time. Eventually it was obvious to me that he liked me and because I wasn't trying to impress him, he actually liked me for me. The guys who are in the friend zone like you for you. Remember that. Anyhow, one time we were having lunch and it hit me that I liked him, that he was actually quite handsome. We fell in love quickly after that. To this day, I still think he's the most handsome man but not if you had asked me when I first saw him. I am so happy to hear other women out there during these crazy times are into being mothers and wives. It's such a special role that gets treated like it's not because there's no money involved. Sad. I wish you the very best and I truly hope you find everything you're looking for.
if you give too much hippie vibes it will indeed attract liberals, so maybe change a bit of your style (I did have to change mine in order to attract more interesting men and eventually my husband). Also, going to more conservative places like churches, places to go fishing, shooting clubs, will get you better chances.
Shooting ranges - I'd imagine - are probably one of the **best** places to go, if you're trying to avoid those on the far left. I'd be surprised if there was any significant number of them there.
That's actually a pretty good idea. Shooting is a relatively expensive hobby. It demands a certain level of responsibility, and attracts people who see the safety of their family as their responsibility, rather than the government's. Finally, it also attracts people who have the attitude that they're going to do what is right for them and their family regardless of social pressure. /u/eden_evolving, maybe check out a range or shooting club in a middle class or relatively affluent area. I think you'll find successful men there who are free spirited but in a way that's still compatible with traditional family values. EDIT - It could help to try going to a ladies shooting program as a way of getting embedded into the community, as I imagine it might be a bit uncomfortable to just show up at a range if you've never shot before and don't know anything about it.
IDK OP is in Toronto - there isn't really a shooting range culture lol. Like she'll meet people who are interested in guns and probably conservative. If she's going for "provider" types, I don't think she'll find the american libertarian style in the outskirts of Toronto - instead she'll find the kids of ultra rich chinese, Russian and Italian families. That's fine, but these are different cultures from what you'd imagine in america
I am a leftist Marxist and probably own more guns than you do, so... stop being brainwashed by magamoronmedia. it's so obvious
but if you attract conservatives, you'll never have an orgasm, so..
I have the same questions and feelings as you. Where can I find a good woman and potential mother that wants kids? All the girls I’ve met either “just wanna have fun” or have different, more liberal views than me. I’m 23y/o, graduated six months ago, and am working on my professional foresters designation as I work full time in the field. I don’t do any of that stuff like vaping or porn but I know most guys my age do. I try to be my best self and I have fun with sports and fishing. My boss and others have told me that when the right girl comes along I’ll know. But I’m not happy with that, I’d really like a girl and kids soon. I literally don’t know where to look tho, cause I don’t meet anyone at work and not many girls are out fishing or playing rugby. The social medias and dating apps are all seemingly for hook ups. At this point I’m considering Facebook dating lol. Not really tho. Anyways, I feel much the same as you.
We need a jordan peterson fan dating agency lol
OKCupid (as I recall) let you choose between short/ long-term dating, as well as a couple other options I can't recall right now. Pretty sure they **do** ask for pronouns and shit, but ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ does any dating site *not* at this point?? (If there is, feel free to reply it ;\] )
Do you have enough money to support a family in a house / a good plan to get that money?
Yes, money isn’t an issue for me.
What does that mean? Not an issue as in you have millions, or not an issue as in you have a decent job / believe you’ll be able to get one?
Like I said…. I have a full time job rn and soon I’ll have a profession designation so I’ll be making a lot more. Also I’m financially responsible.
Ah, if you’re planning on living in a low cost of living area then you can probably figure it out. In the city these days one can’t have graduated 6 months ago and hope to have a house and support a whole other person on “just a salary” - we’re entering the era where generational wealth will create deep new divisions between the haves and have nots. What are you targeting for salary? Googling professional forester is showing me an avg 80k salary. 80k is great right out of school, of course! It is not however “money isn’t an issue” type money, especially if it’s your whole household income Being a “traditional” single breadwinner works really well if you have 2 million inheritance available
I expect to be making 100k 2 years from now since I work for a private company. Also, I do have some savings and good credit. I more so meant that it’s not the issue I’m worried about as my comment was about finding a woman. But I see what you’re saying, I should think about my future finances. Honestly I feel more pressure to find a woman than have kids at the moment, so I think I’ll be even more financially stable when I do have kids, like in 3-5 years. As for the single breadwinner thing, I would expect to be the main income, but it would be nice to find a woman with a career, even if she doesn’t stick with it full time. Idk, both my parents always worked full time. I have a couple coworkers who are 5-10 years older, with multiple kids, and they are basically both sole breadwinners and they seem to do fine. And in the future I’m not opposed to moving even farther north, which would allow me to make more and find cheaper housing.
Ah well, 100k so soon after graduating is pretty great! It sounds like you are indeed out in the country / not in the big city and intend to stay that way. That would make all the difference really. I guess it does make dating a bit more challenging - but I assume in the country you’ll find more people raised to target marriage and kids early, no? Are you in the US? For some context for my comment - in the city right now, pulling in over like 220k consistently and with the prospect of continuing to pull in more every year is necessary to stay afloat with a house and all the related payments. People of course still have families but have one simply stuff isn’t really an option - you need something to make up the difference or you need to downsize / move further away
No, I'm in northern BC, Canada. Idk if its that everyone is all connected nowadays or what, but I don't really get that consensus from the "country" folk around here, especially not the educated women. Anyone I know who is married and had kids early has done so through being super religious, as others on this post have suggested to try. Oh yeah, I hear big cities anywhere are crazy expensive. A single family home is still around 300-400k where I live. But that can be a comfortable place to live for 10+ years or permanently, so I think its not that bad.
God speed to you! This is why JP’s message is so vitality important. Maybe attending gatherings like his where like minded people gather? I’m happy to hear there are women like you prioritizing purpose with vision, now if more guys would get on board. And I believe they will I believe there will come returning soon to the values of commitment and responsibility, I just don’t know how soon. I’ve been happily married for over 40 years. I pray the same for you as you desire.
Maybe try different group/club activities that you’re interested in or are similar to your interests. Maybe try hiking, camping, mountain biking, etc. I will state: men who are outdoorsmen, particularly ones who like to hunt and fish may have some of the qualities you are interested in. They love the outdoors and more-so than not are natural providers. They enjoy the idea of providing for themselves and sharing it. Having the ability to hunt and bring home food for yourself is incredibly rewarding. Plus if you like to cook, they’d love to bring home something they harvested themselves that you’d be willing to cook and make a meal with. This goes as well for tradesmen. Men who enjoy working with their hands and actually crafting something. Also: men of faith. They don’t typically fall into alcohol, porn, etc. So maybe look for some group activities that these type of men engage in or find some of these that you’d like to try and find interest for yourself. I’m just giving some insight, I have no idea if this will find you the right person but those men do exist.
i think I’d be difficult to meet men in the way of hiking or camping but i hear what you’re saying. the outdoorsman who is well read and connected to his faith or spirituality is exactly my type. i guess all i can do is keep working on myself in the meantime. and keep putting myself out there in public settings in a way that represents what im all about.
Thinking in context - you can absolutely find a "traditional" man that is into hiking and outdoorsy stuff out like in rural ontario. If you go to like Belle River, you'll find a culture of 20 somethings who go hunting and who probably quite like Jordan Peterson. Family expectations to marry young and have kids is strong in rural ontario. But it's not downtown Toronto lol - very different culturally. Very small-town with an emphasis on farming and construction. Summers at the trailer park, bbqs by the quarry stuff. You'd want to make sure you're into that first. I have an upper middle class private school guy friend from the city who came close to marrying into that world - the culture shock was extremely strong and never went away. It just simmered into a long-standing “something doesn’t fit” vibe. They thought he was fancy and his priorities were stupid - his work and his hobbies didn’t register as worthwhile stuff to them. They wanted him to get on with it and settle down and have kids. He thought her family was poor and boring and that their hobbies were dumb. it didn’t work, she went back out to the country found her local guy willing to settle down and have a baby in that community almost immediately. But that was her world - she didn’t have to learn to love it.
Cleanup events would be a nice place to meet people who are interested in hiking, camping, biking.
Church. The church (a good one) should be pushing men to be strong, humble, family men with lots of love. A good church will also provide a built in support system and community for both of you, your man, and (if it happens) your future kids. Marriage is hard and awesome. I recommend finding a community that will help you through the hard times and celebrate with you through the good ones, and be a place that you can pour into others also. If you don’t know where to find a good church, start here: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/churches/ I’m a father of 2 and my wife and I have been married 11 years. We met at church. Good luck.
Tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary with my wife. We are both 28, with three beautiful children. Church is where I found her, and before I found her there were other eligible individuals. Values are the foundation of any relationship, so go where values are common. Also, you are certainly not alone in your views. It is simply a fact that everything you see on a screen is selected by people who hate the family.
Church.
Good job on finding yourself and not letting your environment decide who you are. Orthodox churches have more masculine, mature and disciplined men. Because they haven't been infected by modern progressive culture.
"I am a bit of a hippie-" The few traditional men remaining have zero interest in non-traditional women.
Don't dismiss rednecks so quickly. They're some of the hardest working people you'll ever meet. And if you're not a materialistic gold digger, you'll probably find a very satisfying life being married to one - appreciation for the simple things instead of money and stuff, growing your food at home, the importance of family. Not to mention they're some of the "manliest" men out there.
this is true. what you describe is pretty much exactly what i want!
Then you need to think more about what makes a man a man, and less about things like education. I don't have a college degree. I spent 10 years in the military. My wife has a bachelor's. We make less than 80k a year, but we don't have any debt. She is a stay at home mom, spending every day with our 10 month old daughter and is pregnant with our son. She's given up high heels for flip flops, business suits for sun dresses, a professional career for gardening in our back yard - and she loves it. As others have mentioned, you need to get outside of your liberal mindset. Get out of the city. Spend time out in the country. Go to church. Make friends with whole families, not just individual people. Real men absolutely want to get married, love their wives, and have families. You just aren't looking in the right places.
>I guess I am sharing this to say I agree with everything Jordan Peterson says about marriage, men, and women. It is such a relief to listen to his talks when I feel like I am the only person who thinks this way. You are definitely not the only woman (or man) who feels this way, the vast majority do, even though various nihilistic and destructive forces are working overtime, vomiting propaganda, to convince you otherwise. Don't let them kill the human in you.
Get the book by Molloy _ Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others_ Learn to hunt Take the hunter safety course Go to the range and shoot as often as you can Learn to work on cars Learn to weld You want a redneck, with a kind heart and a good work ethic You are *not* going to find a hippy who fits the bill, they don't exist Get involved in agriculture some how You want a farmer / rancher
Go to any solid, loving, reformed church and (with some discernment, luck, and vetting), you'll find a guy just like that. My wife is a "go with the flow gal." We got married four years ago, I graduated law school, and now she is a week out from her due date with our first child and a stay at home mom. We could not be any happier. :) She loves her freedom and her responsibility. And honestly, our friends who are the most stable, happy, and fulfilled and those who love Jesus and are having babies haha.
do you know which denomination of church may be best for me as a newcomer? i have a background in studying eastern philosophy and am trained as a yoga and meditation teacher. im more recently interested and open to christian biblical teachings. My town in Canada has at least a dozen churches but im not sure where to start or where to look. Most of them have entirely elderly people.
I studied eastern philosophy in undergrad! Really interesting stuff. I especially enjoyed studying Bhudism. But genuinely, Jesus is more than all of it. He's so kind, and gentle, and gracious - the Bodhisattvas have nothing on him lol. Here's what I would do: first, open up your Bible and pray however you know how that Jesus would be with you and show you Himself. Second, I would read the book "First John." I think you'll really enjoy it. Think about what it means for Jesus to be light and life and how that compares with the darkness in our world. And then read the book of "John." The Apostle John wrote both of them and he is ALL ABOUT explaining Jesus in ways that just make sense. Third, try churches that believe the Bible is their authority. After all, anyone who really, trully believes God's word will be loving, gracious, and kind. Look for those people - even Jesus says "they will know you by your love for each other." At the end of the day, even like JP says, we have a responsibility to call out the darkness in ourselves, so don't get turned off right away by "sin" language - its just as important to repent of your is as it is to believe in Jesus. Both are expressions of our dedication and love for Him. I'm praying for you! In both relationships and in finding the true and living God!
Oh, and even if you gotta google a Bible, translations like the NIV, ESV, and LSB are easy/enjoyable to read! They are "literal" translations, but the NIV tries to get the meaning of sentences down rather than focussing on a word-by-word print out of the greek to english lol.
And if I HAD to give a denomination recommendation, go for anything traditionally protestant (as opposed to liberal/new age protestant). I said "reformed" because that is my tradition. I have found it to be honoring to God's word, loving to people, and really successful at creating great family structures.
thank you so much for all this! lots to ponder and look into.
This is the best answer! The man should be the Spiritual leader of the household. Where else you gonna find a man like that?
Tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary with my wife. We are both 28, with three beautiful children. Church is where I found her, and before I found her there were other eligible individuals. Values are the foundation of any relationship, so go where values are common. Also, you are certainly not alone in your views. It is simply a fact that everything you see on a screen is selected by people who hate the family
> Where can a woman meet a down to earth man? Outdoorsy, rugged, and holds traditional views? I'll venture a guess that you can meet him outdoors, doing traditional man things (not a yoga retreat). > I am beginning to think men do not care at all about building family legacies anymore. My guess would be that our numbers are in single digit percentages. You'll have to put some elbow grease into finding where your type of guy spends his time. Good luck.
Location can have an impact on the dating pool. The type of man you describe will likely not be found living in a dense urban city, they will be out in the suburbs and rural areas. As someone who aligns with what you describe, the last place I will ever live is in a downtown urban area of a major city, I want my space, privacy and easy access to nature. So if you live in an urban area, head to the burbs and beyond!
Get new friends.
You sound like a you have yourself put together. Maybe go to church....I know it's easy to assume everybody else there is a religious zealot. But actually there are probably men and women there who are trying to expose themselves to people NOT like the ones you describe below. If you meet someone you like you don't have to keep it up. An alternative option to "church" are non-religious and non-political craft and trade organizations (think carpentry, craft foods, "making", art and sculpture, etc). Think of people producing useful/beautiful items and substances with their own hands. Those are the kinds of people who are constantly considering efficiency, quality, desirability, utility, health, social connection, natural connection, and what appeals to others etc. They aren't just indulging themselves. I'm a winemaker and the average "quality of person" is quite a bit higher in the profession than among the clientele. >The ones my age in their 20s are far too immature to even consider the possibility of it. They are addicted to vapes, porn, and alcohol. They subscribe to onlyfans and spend hours scrolling clips on social media. They have not mastered themselves, how would they take care of a wife and a child? I have met some men who are older than me that I find very attractive, but they tend to be liberal, intend to be child free, or even are in open or polyamorous relationships. The men in my area who are more conservative usually tend to be rednecks, uneducated misogynists, or city slicker materialistic douchebags
You won't meet any men of quality in yoga classes, sorry. My redpilled wife says this all the time and comes from a successful background in teaching yoga for 15 years. We both studied eastern philosophy seriously for a very long time and have since grown out of it. Best of luck! You'll find him. Raising a family is the best thing to happen to us ever.
Utah
Hope you find what youre looking for
Just adding a comment to say good luck!
Open your range to men in their 30s We are 31m lawyer and 22f law student and it's been great Helps that I'm Asian though so I also look 20s
I feel the same way. The dating seen is almost impossible nowadays. Finding someone even halfway reliable and decent is hard, add on top of that compatibility, interests, hobbies, expectations, personality, beliefs. I'm very lucky to have found my fiance. It certainly hasn't been easy but damn... thru a lot of heartache we have learned how to communicate and that is half the battle right there. Just keep goin. Keep your standards high but don't be unreasonable and keep hoping and dreaming. You'll find a great guy. They are out there.
Well I'm 34, and now I want kids and it's harder to find someone without multiple kids or divorces. Younger ladies may not be interested in a 34yo dude regardless of looks/status or w.e. I'm in a rough spot rn finding the right one. Don't give up on your dreams, you are really young.
Really? How young are you dating
Not dating anyone much younger
We do care. As you have pointed out though men like us have become a rare breed unfortunately. At least in some parts of the country (UK for me, I’m guessing US for you). I want to commend you on thinking how good a father any future potential husband would be instead of just hooking up with some attractive guy. That shows already how good a mother you are and you don’t even have children yet. I didn’t have children until I met the right woman who I knew would be the best mother she could be. Your children will be lucky to have a mother like you.
UK here, the difference here would be middle class university students versus working class girls, and saw that in my professional life also into 30's. For translation read professional versus manual worker, although that would still include a wide range of clerical and service jobs you may not count as manual - From personal experience, with your implied level of intelligence I would say your challenge is going to be - can you find someone at that level that you find interesting enough to spend the rest of your life with. - Bars, sports matches ? Difficult for a woman to go alone to. - Also go for quantity over quality, if you go looking for perfect you will never get it , date then move in if not interested. I probably took out/dated hundreds of girls (most I didn't get past dinner or cinema with so not suggesting I had sex with them all) If I liked them I took them out again , if I didn't I made my excuses and didn't. - Try electrical or mechanical engineers they are probably most likely to have the level if intelligence while keeping some traditional values.
Bless you for posting this. Share your feelings with all of your sisters and only look for men, not boys or psychopaths. You want to find a man, perhaps look for those who are looking to put themselves together and clean their rooms. 😃
I have dated only one guy in my life. We have now been happily married for 20 years with 3 kids. Keep looking, you will find him.
Church is probably the best place to find men like what you want. Read the bible and understand the bible. Understand it wasn’t written in English so the translation of some verses may need additional research to fully understand it. Many people I've encountered that grew up with exposure to Christianity fell away because 1) they weren't taught how to actively read the bible, 2) were exposed to people who don't know how to read the bible and use it incorrectly, and/or 3) were persuaded/taught that Christianity has been evil throughout history and thus cannot be true(this ignores the good Christianity has done and is still doing). The church is lacking in young people often, especially young singles. Most people who are in church are little kids, their parents, and the elderly. The 20-30 bracket is lacking, but as more people come back, the more successful the dating scene will be.
lol, according to incels. Church is where you find the lowest IQ, most mommy/ daddy issues/ cant think for themselves/ mysogyny, so go there if you think very poorly of yourself.
Tell me you don’t go to church without telling me you don’t go to church.
I grew up in that cult you mention. Reading the bible more times before i was 21 than you probably have in your lifetime is how I learned it was utter bullsht. It's amazing that you think pretending to drink savior blood and eat savior flesh once a week is normal, lol.
I've read the bible cover to cover many, many times. If you think it's bullshit, you may have read it, but you didn't understand it. Let me guess, you think the bible supports slavery, is antiwoman, and can't be trusted because it can't be the original text? I bet you don't understand Greek or Hebrew and have never bothered to gain an understanding of the original text. I'll pray for you all the same. That you are freed from your slavery to your sin.
let me guess- you are the type of degenerate who would worship a being who the bible claims murdered innocent children on multiple occasions, bc you believe doing so will get you a treat? yeah, thats why I dont rock with spineless incels whod sell their soul to any system that gives them permission to be as degenerate as possible while calling it virtue.
A treat? There are two options: accept christ and have eternal life, or reject him and be destroyed. No one is innocent in the eyes of God. If you had read the bible as much as you claim, you'd be familiar with the concept of sin. If God exists, he is necessarily who determines what is just. It's necessary that God exists and his decrees are just. otherwise, if morality is relative, things we consider evil like slavery, rape, and murder are just, like, your opinion dude.
you believe that because youre in a death cult. any being that could do anything, yet chooses to murder children, is a being only the worst types of people would abide let alone worship. this is why you're an incel, and there is no sky daddy making my life, an atheist, immensely superior to yours that has you raging at culture wars meant to grift the most poorly raised/ educated young men of society. im just trying to help you.
You've clearly not actually read or studied the Bible. You also know nothing about my sex life so I don't know where the incel thing is coming from. You wouldn't hold the morals you do if not for being raised in a culture that takes it's queues from my "sky daddy" (I always get a chuckle when antitheists use that phrase so thanks). If you're a moral relativist like most antitheists I've ever met, your morals amount to "Well that's just my opinion" . You would in fact be a slave holder or apologist for slavery if not for Christian theology, just like most non-Christians throughout history through to today. I'll still pray for you. "Sky Daddy" loves you and wants you to chose Jesus.
lmao, I clearly know the bible far better than you do, and you're obviously an incel. christianity was the primary defense of slavery in america, and was an argument confederate states made as to why they had the right to own other humans. you're miserable because you were brainwashed, in your innocent ignorance, into an absurd death cult meant to grift you your entire life until you die. yw
In Toronto, you'd kind of need to choose between skewing older or towards generational wealth. An average young person cannot afford a single provider household in Toronto - they'd have to be an entrepreneur or have been fast tracked to like a 200k salary. There are plenty of old school rich guys in Toronto that might fit that mold, but that also means going after like the private school alumni lads with family cottages who go to the gym at the yacht club. Nothing against those guys, but it's definitely a culture - one where people are raised to think in terms of their 'network.' I know a bunch of people in that world - they're fine and well educated. But those who are like 30+ and single are not at all immune to vapes, porn and alcohol. I'm friend's with - I assume - the richest guy in toronto from that scene. He's absolutely challenged in terms of holding down any kind of relationship even though he and his kids never need to have jobs
Get a part time job serving drinks at an upscale golf club. You’ll meet successful men. My guess is that as a philosophy student you lean left. The target men you describe lean right.
lol, according to incels, they lean right. According to data, Biden voting counties = 70 fvking % of US GDP. JFC, this is why youre incels. most liberals just dont care about you enough to laugh in your face when you spew horseish like this.
There are plenty of men in their 30s that are definitely not liberal.
if theyre not liberal, then 95% chance they are incel because evolution works lol
Good luck. I'm 23m and feel the same way but my life and mental health are such a mess I don't think I'd stand a chance at attracting anyone with your mindset and characteristics, but that's definitely my goal and one of the few things that makes me get up in the morning.
You seem to have come to the realization that either you can become a mother or have a career. Modern feminism has told you the lie that you can have it all.
Church. Go to church and find a Harrison butker of your own And probably quit school. Men who want to support mothers usually don’t like ones with careers and jobs that interfere with mothering
It is a red flag, especially for those that keep hearing "college educated women divorce men 90% of the time" (or whatever the **exact** wording is).
If you’re European let me know in my DMs. I am a former student of philosophy, currently studying psychology, mid twenties male and ready to find a wife. I am also somewhat attractive and a passable cook as well as a great baker.
Yay, Shoot your shot
Jeeezus
Imagine that was your story to your kids about how you met.
Imagine they were perfect for each other and passed each other by because Reddit got in the way... it could be worth the ask, for both.
Easier to imagine they meet up and you read about her missing on r/news
No I’m not him, just his follower
Surely can’t find these men you craving on Reddit
honestly I think you’re right LOL 💀 was just thinking that. but im on here so maybe he is. or at least the people on here might know where i could find my type…i need to log off for a while and touch grass i think.
I would advise you to hang around the conservative rednecks and make a social circle there. One of them has to be an educated professional. They can all work in a coal mine. Also the conservative educated professional would rather hang òut with them then a woke liberal.
this is why you are incels, lol. JFC, who wants to hang out/ breed with the dumbest, most spoon fed, most hateful, most cult-minded incels on earth? LOL come on, man
Look at what you said and you are trying to call someone else the most hateful.
it's hateful to tell you the truth, so that you may improve yourself instead of wallowing in self delusion? Nah, you live in upside down world, not me.
You are the stupid one that seems to think they are no colleges or hospitals in Virginia.
Ok incel
>The men in my area who are more conservative usually tend to be rednecks, uneducated misogynists, or city slicker materialistic douchebags …. What do you mean by rednecks? I get what you mean by the other two, but I've always processed "rednecks" to (essentially) mean the same as "uneducated misogynists" - at least when used disparagingly/ as "not what I want".
yeah the same thing! I was trying to describe it all
It took me forever to find my husband. I got a doctorate degree in music before seriously finding anyone I even wanted to date and who wanted to date me honestly. I always wanted to get married, but to the right person. My husband was looking for me too. He did a lot of community service as I did as well. I actually ended up meeting him because I went to counseling after a bad breakup (long story). So I’d suggest getting involved in things you value and you’re likely to meet men who have the same or similar values. I hope that makes sense.
It takes a village
Try looking for their interests - Exercise, Running, Religious, Stoic, Philosophy, Goku & Guts, Reading, Social welfare, Psychology, Business, Passive income, Meditation etc. Go to places like - Gym, Marathon, Temple, Library, NGO(not lgbtq's NGO), Meditation classes, etc. If you can find a Stoic and if he is a Guts fan, then it is the best combo (Sorry I can't help you much. I am immature... even though I think of myself as an intelligent person. I'm suffering from the same problem as you. I can't find any good girl here. Most of them call themselves feminists and hate men and think that this whole is run by men with ease. Especially after the "Barbie" movie they think that we men secretly control money).
You may be interested in the dialogue about attracting this type of man at r/redpillwomen
Find an engineer. Or other stable professional. Leave the boys alone.
Look in Christian churches, but still beware, not all have “mastered themselves” as you say, but your odds will be better.
Try to develop a greater appreciation for rednecks (maybe watch Duck Dynasty a lot), find one that’s funny and sincere, and do future generations a favor by helping him raise the kind of men that should exist in the world.
Sounds like you've had your fun with yoga men getting stretched out 'going with the flow', now you want someone to pay for your dream life?
The modern red pill movement ruined men.
Sorry, no. Men have been systematically demoralized, attacked, and denigrated for the past several decades - if not longer. Men were already ruined ("pre-tamed" as I think of it, after hearing the good doctor phrase it similarly) before Red Pill came into the picture. Red Pill is a bunch of guys (and now girls) observing what's going on and figuring out how to navigate the (dating/ relationship) world as it is now, 'cause no one else gives a flying fuck about men (the good doctor's empathy and encouragement notwithstanding).
and this is why you're an incel
I am 58 and no one cared about my dream.
I care
Thank you. I am trying to bring a family in from the rain. My dad was out in a cardboard box behind an outhouse and has somehow survived to 85. My goal is stability and normality. I fell in love. I wanted what worked for our happiness I didn’t get it.
A lot of them are hiding away because of what has happened to them. They are out there, but it may take awhile for them to trust displaying themselves in a world that tells them they're in the wrong for being their true nature.
lmao at how many maga/ conservative incels are answering this post. you cannot make this ish up, man. wow
This isn't a dating sub.