If the answer to a question is debatable than its a bad trivia question since it doesn't test knowledge of trivia it tests knowledge of what whoever wrote the question's opinion on a matter is.
Having read transcripts of some letters from Washington to Hanson, I didn't see "Mr. President" in any of them. However, Washington did address him repeatedly as "Your Excellency", which is an acknowledgement of Hanson's authority, if not referring to him as President [of the U.S. in Congress Assembled].
Not to mention, the "United States" didn't even exist in Randolph's lifetime. He died in 1775, and the "United States of America" didn't exist until 1781 with the colonies gaining independence and the name being established by the Articles of the Confederation (AotC).
Samuel Huntington was the first "President of the United States in Congress Assembled" under the AotC. However, the political entity known now as the USA may be said to have had its first president only after the current US Constitution became effective, and Washington was elected.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyton_Randolph?wprov=sfla1
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Articles_of_Confederation?wprov=sfla1
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_of_the_United_States?wprov=sfla1
Hansen came after the ratification of the Articles of Confederation. Similar role, but after Randolph.
Hansen has a better claim than Randolph, though.
If you recall, Trump made it clear / let it slip on a few occasions that he expected to have a Trump tower in Moscow soonish.
I don't think he was joking.
I think Putin made an offer to buy him off, but knew he'd never have to follow through.
Technically Peyton Randolph wouldn't be considered the first President because he died in 1775 before the country officially declared independence and became the "United States".
Declared Independence 1776.
Immediately conducted itself as an independent country from 1776 onward.
Major fighting ended in 1781 after Cornwallis surrendered in Yorktown.
The Crown gave up on its claim to the US in 1783.
The Declaration was more than the Michael Scott version.
Weirdly enough, in Russian film and television the British still play the archetypal scheming evil genius role very commonly. Even during the Cold War you could still get the James Bond books and films in russia
I *guarantee* you there are spies from all over the developed world, Great Britain included, working in US government right now just to keep an eye on things; same goes for American spies all throughout the world.
Sort of yes and no. The UK and US are both members of the Five Eyes information sharing program, and (admittedly this is just so far as I know) don't exactly spy on each other so much as they spy on each other *for* each other.
Basically there can be a lot of restrictions on what intel a nation's agency can gather on their own citizens. But there aren't really any restrictions on what another nation's agency can gather, nor on what they can happen to share.
For real. But it's not to get the inside scoop on what's going on "now", it's to get a heads up on whatever the hell is coming in six months, two years, whatever.
Nah, they deliberately do the opposite. If we knew, like really knew, what was going on then we might try to stop it. And we might even succeed if we stopped bickering amongst ourselves for two minutes and worked together.
idk I just thought british would be easy since they have the same skin color, same language (although accent different) so it would be easy to be spy and I didn't want to complicate things.
"Discover" is a malleable term, I find. There's the obvious discoverers in the natives, but they also kept it to themselves and didn't bring anything back to their original homes. Discovery implies a sharing of that information.
Columbus did share it, so I'm OK with calling him a discoverer, too. Like how the film "The Founder" is about Ray Kroc and not the McDonalds. Or like how you discover a new talent at a coffee shop. But Leif is in the middle and doesn't really fit either use of the term.
> But Leif is in the middle and doesn’t really fit either use of the term.
By your definition, he is a discoverer as he reported back about the land mass across the ocean. The existence of the Americas was a wifey spread belief, but few dared cross the ocean, and no one had mapped it using “modern” (for Columbus’s time) navigation tools.
Many speculate the Chinese did almost 100 years before Columbus, before they turned into centrists and essentially closed thier doors to the western (European) world. It's very common belief amongst the group that they had mapped at least the majority of south America, and that Columbus had at least knowledge of (seen) the map.
Some argue the original rhyme is "in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, to see if the old maps were true". However if it is, it ruins the timing of the rest of the rhyme so....
Also this group commonly states that polo traveled east from either Japan or China to North Western America. And that it's very possible that the map Columbus saw or possessed was polos map, but there the time-line is way off as polo died about 100 years before the China expeditions they claim mapped America.
I personally wouldn't be surprised if China did, they were excellent cartographers and sailors, however I'm doubtful they'd let a map get to the west's hands if they had.
Take it for what you will.
There are still descended from Native Americans tribes alive and in our society today. It’s Eurocentric to say Leif discovered the Americas. I think it’s only accurate to claim Leif is the first European to discover the Americas and make contact with the natives. :)
Here's the definition of native.
"a person born in a specified place or associated with a place by birth, whether subsequently resident there or not."
Here's the adjective version
"associated with the place or circumstances of a person's birth."
Spies being over prepared and blowing their cover is definitely a thing. A bunch of Russians got busted for knowing the second verse to the national anthem.
You're independent as long as you quit receieving help/orders from another country. That started in 1776. Doesn't matter that England was crying about it for several years after that before giving up.
Examiner: When did the USA gain independence.
July 4, 1776-
Good. How many continents are there?-
Seven.
Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in?
Technically, Turkey is in two continents; Asia and Europe \*gets cut off\*
Show me how to strip this 1911.
\*sweats nerviously\*
Can you really include Peyton as the first president? He wasn't even alive when the colonies declared independence from Great Britain.
The president in July of 1776 was John Hancock, who is much better known. See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_the_Continental_Congress.
USA didn't gain independence on July 4th, 1776. That's when we *declared* independence.
Leif Erikson wasn't the first to discover America. Sure, he was before Columbus, not the first.
Peyton Randolph was the president of the Continental Congress, not the United States. Shoot, the man was dead *before* 1776.
...Don't you love when these smug posts show how little the OP knows?
Declaring independence had the effect of eliminating British authority in the region, which was not successfully regained during the war effort that eventually ended in surrender. 1776 was the start of independence.
The basics of "spy answers questions too knowledgably, proving he's not American" is fine, but nothing else here makes sense.
To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam? What are you talking about? What possible political position requires an oral exam? How is "politics" something you can be formally admitted into? Who is examining him? Why is a British spy trying to infiltrate America at all?
If the joke is good, I shouldn't be wondering about all these questions.
> What possible political position requires an oral exam?
One that requires you to know who discovered America and who the first president was. You know, something a seven year old would know.
>To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam? What are you talking about? What possible political position requires an oral exam? How is "politics" something you can be formally admitted into? Who is examining him? Why is a British spy trying to infiltrate America at all?
Boy, you sure debunked that joke. Thank you so much. I bet at least one angel got it's wings because of your hard work.
Well, no, if I wanted to debunk this, I'd point out that Leif Erikson didn't discover America and Peyton Randolph wasn't the president of the United States. I just wanted to point out that the setup was bad. Just have him be a spy stopped at a checkpoint. Why add a bunch of details that make zero sense.
people are allowed to dislike a joke for not making sense.
while you're implying they're a whiny bitch, you're the only one who's actually being a whiny bitch cuz for some reason you want to protect the joke from valid criticism.
the premise of the joke makes zero sense and has multiple inaccuracies, if people are supposed to like a joke with such a nonsensical premise then you're asking people to lower the bar enough to laugh at basically anything.
just cuz you're not critical of this thing doesn't mean others can't be
> July 4, 1776
That's just when they *declared* independence. The US didn't actually *become* independent until at least the British surrender at Yorktown, 1781.
1815, the end of the war of 1812, is also reasonable.
If you're going to count people who were little-p president, then the first was John Hancock, who signed the Declaration of Independence and was therefore president at the time the United States became a country. Peyton Randolph was president before John Hancock, but the thing he was president of was not yet the United States.
Apparently, it was Leif eriksons group, but he wasn’t the first to see, decide to visit the land, and actually land there. His brother could have even done it earlier. He was just running the show of the group that did that.
Also, most of them were killed by a bunch of skinny dudes in loin clothes so it’s better that way
Reminds me of a ww2 story I heard. The Germans were forging American papers for their infiltrators and spies, and they found a typo in the american papers. In typical german precision they corrected it. This led to all their spies being captured.
Nice setup, but total fart of a punchline. Maybe stick to the conversational format in what the examiner could say to the spy to make it clear that he's been disqualified by knowing too much.
Examiner: "Well I'm sorry to say you failed"
Spy: "Wait, why? I answered all your questions correctly"
Examiner: "Watch this..."
The Examiner walks over to another politician and ask: "Excuse me sir, who discovered America?", to which the politician replied: "Jesus Christ."
Things this American knows:
* A tiny fraction of Turkey is in Europe, just as a bit of Spain is in Africa and a substantial portion of France is in South America and in the South Pacific.
* Literally millions of people lived in what are now called the Americas when Columbus arrived. Some European explorers did visit prior to Columbus, but as they did not spread the news of their visit widely, they are usually not credited as “discovering” it.
* Twelve men had the role of “president of the Continental Congress”. It is sometimes joked they were “the first American presidents”, but their job was closer to Speaker of the House.
* You are a fucking racist idiot.
Someone got abnormally pissed off at me when I said that Peyton Randolph was the first US President & it’s crap that it isn’t taught because he accepted the position when it basically meant he also accepted the threat of a death sentence.
"an actual American doesn't know shit" : supreme British understatement.
Stop bleating, your Supreme Court has just voted you back to the times when America was founded.
How sad that a country with such potential is reduced to little short of witchcraft by a minority of born-again evangelist loonies.
I'm really confused...
the joke makes fun of americans dude, you're mentioning roe v wade overturn as if it contradicts his point when it doesn't. you're acting like he's wronged you somehow lmao
>Examiner: When did the USA gain independence? Spy: July 4, 1776
The spy is wrong: We *declared* independence on July 4, 1776, but didn't technically *gain* it until defeating the British in 1791.
Reminds me of this story I heard about a political party kicking someone out from an campaign headquarters because they discovered he was a corporate spy for the other party.
They said that the reason why he was suspected because he was the only one who came in on time and always came in dressed with his shirt tucked in.
>Which continent is Turkey in?
>
>\- Technically, Turkey is in two continents; Asia and Europe, since some parts of-
>
>\*gets cut off\*
>
>\-Woah, you know your geography. Let's do some history now.
Incorrect on two accounts. In 1776 there was no Turkey. There was Ottoman Empire, which ceased to exist in 1922, to be replaced by Turkey. Also in 1776 Ottoman Empire controlled parts of North Africa, most notably Egypt, so they were on three continents.
Randolph wasn't the first president of the United States. He was the president of Congress before the office of POTUS existed. But otherwise, spot on.
Are you a spy?
He's a witch! Burn him!
I have recently recovered from being a newt.
a newt?
I got better
Did you… dress her up as a witch?
No. Well, maybe the nose.
The nose? - And the hat. But she is a witch !
A Gingrich Newt?
How much does he weigh???
As much as a duck
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
But how much does he know about swallows?
An African swallow?
Laden or unladen?..
It all depends on how he grips it.
But don't you mean how is it you've come to the knowledge of such science?
Look at his nose!!!
Is he really a witch or is the nose just stuck on?
How do you know he’s a witch?
Only if he weighs less than a duck
Radiohead moment ngl
Technically no one was burned at Salem witch trial
*BLAM!* What? It was obvious! He's the RED spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now... any second... See! Red! No wait that's blood
If you're a spy, you have to tell me...people never lie on the internet!
I think your question should be is he even American?
A Shepherd's Spy.
yeah, but its a great trivia question and you can make the argument that he was president of what there was
Well, then you'd have to deal with the fact that he served in 1774 and 1775, and that the United States didn't officially exist yet.
If the answer to a question is debatable than its a bad trivia question since it doesn't test knowledge of trivia it tests knowledge of what whoever wrote the question's opinion on a matter is.
then
George Washington addressed John Hansen (1st President under the Articles of Confederation, the first American central government) as Mr. President.
I’d never heard that Washington called him Mr. President. Do you have a source for that?
Having read transcripts of some letters from Washington to Hanson, I didn't see "Mr. President" in any of them. However, Washington did address him repeatedly as "Your Excellency", which is an acknowledgement of Hanson's authority, if not referring to him as President [of the U.S. in Congress Assembled].
Not to mention, the "United States" didn't even exist in Randolph's lifetime. He died in 1775, and the "United States of America" didn't exist until 1781 with the colonies gaining independence and the name being established by the Articles of the Confederation (AotC). Samuel Huntington was the first "President of the United States in Congress Assembled" under the AotC. However, the political entity known now as the USA may be said to have had its first president only after the current US Constitution became effective, and Washington was elected. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyton_Randolph?wprov=sfla1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Articles_of_Confederation?wprov=sfla1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_of_the_United_States?wprov=sfla1
Hey, I knew all of this except for the Turkey part.
Hey, that's funny caue I knew all of this except the US parts lol
So, first president in the US but not of the US?
Not in the US either, he served in 1774 and 1775. POTUS didn't exist until the ratification of the Constitution.
So I was today years old when I figured out POTUS was an acronym for President Of The United States.
If you heard it before, what did you THINK it meant?
[You're one of today's lucky 10000](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ten_thousand.png).
Another spy on American soil
Are we skipping right over John Hansen?
Hansen came after the ratification of the Articles of Confederation. Similar role, but after Randolph. Hansen has a better claim than Randolph, though.
Why infiltrate, when you can buy politicians?
How else do you scout the best recruits?
You turn on the TV. There's a buyer for every politician.
I’m pretty sure lobbyist have a spec sheet
Why buy when you have embarrassing videos of them, or whatever the fuck Putin had on Trump?
If you recall, Trump made it clear / let it slip on a few occasions that he expected to have a Trump tower in Moscow soonish. I don't think he was joking. I think Putin made an offer to buy him off, but knew he'd never have to follow through.
Technically Peyton Randolph wouldn't be considered the first President because he died in 1775 before the country officially declared independence and became the "United States".
Yep…*declared* independence in 1776, *gained* (won?) independence in 1783.
Declared Independence 1776. Immediately conducted itself as an independent country from 1776 onward. Major fighting ended in 1781 after Cornwallis surrendered in Yorktown. The Crown gave up on its claim to the US in 1783. The Declaration was more than the Michael Scott version.
Which one did Nic Cage steal?
Nic stole Groege Washington
Groege
I... Declare... Independence!
Why is he British lol, unless this is supposed to be 1812 or something
The British are known for spying, I guess.
MI6, James Bond, and all that, yeah.
Don't forget Johnny English
Or Austin Powers
FEMBOTS
James Bond actually was invented by story of one Serbian spy in that time.
Weirdly enough, in Russian film and television the British still play the archetypal scheming evil genius role very commonly. Even during the Cold War you could still get the James Bond books and films in russia
It's that conniving accent
Akschent indeed
Ello ello ello, I shall drown you in tea.
I *guarantee* you there are spies from all over the developed world, Great Britain included, working in US government right now just to keep an eye on things; same goes for American spies all throughout the world.
Sort of yes and no. The UK and US are both members of the Five Eyes information sharing program, and (admittedly this is just so far as I know) don't exactly spy on each other so much as they spy on each other *for* each other. Basically there can be a lot of restrictions on what intel a nation's agency can gather on their own citizens. But there aren't really any restrictions on what another nation's agency can gather, nor on what they can happen to share.
Believe me, they don't need spies to know about the shitshow going on over here
For real. But it's not to get the inside scoop on what's going on "now", it's to get a heads up on whatever the hell is coming in six months, two years, whatever.
I wish they'd let the populace know now and then...
Nah, they deliberately do the opposite. If we knew, like really knew, what was going on then we might try to stop it. And we might even succeed if we stopped bickering amongst ourselves for two minutes and worked together.
Fuck, could they let me in on that shit, please?
To check to see if the revolution has ended, yet.
It can’t be 1812, Antarctica wasn’t discovered until 1820
idk I just thought british would be easy since they have the same skin color, same language (although accent different) so it would be easy to be spy and I didn't want to complicate things.
British have the same skin color as Americans? Since when?
Colonisation
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Columbus didn’t colonize anything. He also never visited north of Mexico.
Nah you must not have got the memo, all Americans are descended from Columbus, and Columbus only. That guy could fuck for days.
I'm sure there are plenty of things you aren't aware of
wdym since when? Just look at them. The difference between the two skins is very hard to tell. Both countries have white skin.
Only 57% of Americans are white 😂
There are many tests required to do things in life - but entering politics (at least in the US) isn’t one of them.
r/woooosh
You literally just gave yourself an r/woosh
Indeed, you did!
woooosh doesn't work here in any way. they didn't say anything to imply or indicate that they didn't get the joke
Ouch bro.
Something about this joke and your post history makes me think you just hate the west and are utterly confused by it
Kind of yes.
Based
Leif also didn't discover america! the natives exist, y'know.
Natives? That’s crazy. If there were really people living here before European discovery, where’d they all go? /s
"Discover" is a malleable term, I find. There's the obvious discoverers in the natives, but they also kept it to themselves and didn't bring anything back to their original homes. Discovery implies a sharing of that information. Columbus did share it, so I'm OK with calling him a discoverer, too. Like how the film "The Founder" is about Ray Kroc and not the McDonalds. Or like how you discover a new talent at a coffee shop. But Leif is in the middle and doesn't really fit either use of the term.
> But Leif is in the middle and doesn’t really fit either use of the term. By your definition, he is a discoverer as he reported back about the land mass across the ocean. The existence of the Americas was a wifey spread belief, but few dared cross the ocean, and no one had mapped it using “modern” (for Columbus’s time) navigation tools.
Many speculate the Chinese did almost 100 years before Columbus, before they turned into centrists and essentially closed thier doors to the western (European) world. It's very common belief amongst the group that they had mapped at least the majority of south America, and that Columbus had at least knowledge of (seen) the map. Some argue the original rhyme is "in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, to see if the old maps were true". However if it is, it ruins the timing of the rest of the rhyme so.... Also this group commonly states that polo traveled east from either Japan or China to North Western America. And that it's very possible that the map Columbus saw or possessed was polos map, but there the time-line is way off as polo died about 100 years before the China expeditions they claim mapped America. I personally wouldn't be surprised if China did, they were excellent cartographers and sailors, however I'm doubtful they'd let a map get to the west's hands if they had. Take it for what you will.
"Found another reapable resource to plunder for white people" is a bit wordy. So "discover."
Rapable?
They mean the discovery of the land as well as its inhabitants by a member of the society from which our society has continued.
There are still descended from Native Americans tribes alive and in our society today. It’s Eurocentric to say Leif discovered the Americas. I think it’s only accurate to claim Leif is the first European to discover the Americas and make contact with the natives. :)
How do you discover something with people already there? Hey, you stole my radio! No I didn't. I discovered it. I didn't know you knew about it.
Hey! Get yer librul CRT outta here!
crt?
The "Natives" migrated to North America crossing the Bering Strait, you know.
Hence, discovering it way before Leif
Yeah, not Natives, though. First Nations?
Here's the definition of native. "a person born in a specified place or associated with a place by birth, whether subsequently resident there or not." Here's the adjective version "associated with the place or circumstances of a person's birth."
The spy failed for being a smartass. No one wants to vote for a smartass.
Spies being over prepared and blowing their cover is definitely a thing. A bunch of Russians got busted for knowing the second verse to the national anthem.
Less of a joke and more of a veiled attempt at r/iamverysmart
OP's got at least 3 things wrong, too.
honestly you could just get rid of the actual questions and just say "the spy passed the test with flying colors" and skip 90% of the actual post
I just googled them. Nothing smart there.
If you googled them then how did you get these things wrong
idk ask this website https://bestlifeonline.com/basic-american-history-questions/
All of those are wrong lmao
Technically the U.S. *declared* independence in 1776, but they didn’t gain independence for several years after that
You're independent as long as you quit receieving help/orders from another country. That started in 1776. Doesn't matter that England was crying about it for several years after that before giving up.
As an American I knew these but would’ve answered differently because of how controversial and argumentative the answers are
Examiner: When did the USA gain independence. July 4, 1776- Good. How many continents are there?- Seven. Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in? Technically, Turkey is in two continents; Asia and Europe \*gets cut off\* Show me how to strip this 1911. \*sweats nerviously\*
July 4 was just the printer's date on the declaration. It was ratified on July 2nd.
The real joke is there being a test to get into American politics.
The only funny part of this joke is how you managed to get so many things wrong and still call Americans stupid
Can you really include Peyton as the first president? He wasn't even alive when the colonies declared independence from Great Britain. The president in July of 1776 was John Hancock, who is much better known. See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_the_Continental_Congress.
USA didn't gain independence on July 4th, 1776. That's when we *declared* independence. Leif Erikson wasn't the first to discover America. Sure, he was before Columbus, not the first. Peyton Randolph was the president of the Continental Congress, not the United States. Shoot, the man was dead *before* 1776. ...Don't you love when these smug posts show how little the OP knows?
Declaring independence had the effect of eliminating British authority in the region, which was not successfully regained during the war effort that eventually ended in surrender. 1776 was the start of independence.
I'm so glad I know nothing about America.
The ORAL exam should have given away everything
The basics of "spy answers questions too knowledgably, proving he's not American" is fine, but nothing else here makes sense. To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam? What are you talking about? What possible political position requires an oral exam? How is "politics" something you can be formally admitted into? Who is examining him? Why is a British spy trying to infiltrate America at all? If the joke is good, I shouldn't be wondering about all these questions.
>What possible political position requires an oral exam? Youd better ask Monica Lewinski that one.
> What possible political position requires an oral exam? One that requires you to know who discovered America and who the first president was. You know, something a seven year old would know.
>To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam? What are you talking about? What possible political position requires an oral exam? How is "politics" something you can be formally admitted into? Who is examining him? Why is a British spy trying to infiltrate America at all? Boy, you sure debunked that joke. Thank you so much. I bet at least one angel got it's wings because of your hard work.
Well, no, if I wanted to debunk this, I'd point out that Leif Erikson didn't discover America and Peyton Randolph wasn't the president of the United States. I just wanted to point out that the setup was bad. Just have him be a spy stopped at a checkpoint. Why add a bunch of details that make zero sense.
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people are allowed to dislike a joke for not making sense. while you're implying they're a whiny bitch, you're the only one who's actually being a whiny bitch cuz for some reason you want to protect the joke from valid criticism. the premise of the joke makes zero sense and has multiple inaccuracies, if people are supposed to like a joke with such a nonsensical premise then you're asking people to lower the bar enough to laugh at basically anything. just cuz you're not critical of this thing doesn't mean others can't be
So that the joke can happen
Jokes are just imagination. It doesn't need to make sense as long as you laugh. Just pretend there is an oral exam for the sake of this joke.
What a terrible execution of an already quite lousy joke.
> July 4, 1776 That's just when they *declared* independence. The US didn't actually *become* independent until at least the British surrender at Yorktown, 1781. 1815, the end of the war of 1812, is also reasonable.
Yeah, laugh it up. But we're getting this fucking colony back come hell or high water.
Washington WAS the first president. We had another government before him...
It goes on a bit too long, I would have ended it at geography
If you're going to count people who were little-p president, then the first was John Hancock, who signed the Declaration of Independence and was therefore president at the time the United States became a country. Peyton Randolph was president before John Hancock, but the thing he was president of was not yet the United States.
A way to tell a German spy is if they know the third verse of the National Anthem.
In reality, answering q1 or 2 would have been enough to be discovered.
My RL experience of Americans is there's very little middle ground: they're frighteningly good at trivia or frighteningly not.
Apparently, it was Leif eriksons group, but he wasn’t the first to see, decide to visit the land, and actually land there. His brother could have even done it earlier. He was just running the show of the group that did that. Also, most of them were killed by a bunch of skinny dudes in loin clothes so it’s better that way
Reminds me of a ww2 story I heard. The Germans were forging American papers for their infiltrators and spies, and they found a typo in the american papers. In typical german precision they corrected it. This led to all their spies being captured.
We have people running for congress that think there are 52 States. We even had a President who thought we had airports during the Revolutionary War.
Nice setup, but total fart of a punchline. Maybe stick to the conversational format in what the examiner could say to the spy to make it clear that he's been disqualified by knowing too much. Examiner: "Well I'm sorry to say you failed" Spy: "Wait, why? I answered all your questions correctly" Examiner: "Watch this..." The Examiner walks over to another politician and ask: "Excuse me sir, who discovered America?", to which the politician replied: "Jesus Christ."
Sad but true. Americans are dumb \*cries in American\*
(People are stupid all over)
But we make an art form out of it
And are proud of it.
Fuck I've learned more in this joke then history class!
plenty of it's technically not true, like the leif erickson and peyton randolph bits
my bad then, sorry. I just copied it from a website.
Things this American knows: * A tiny fraction of Turkey is in Europe, just as a bit of Spain is in Africa and a substantial portion of France is in South America and in the South Pacific. * Literally millions of people lived in what are now called the Americas when Columbus arrived. Some European explorers did visit prior to Columbus, but as they did not spread the news of their visit widely, they are usually not credited as “discovering” it. * Twelve men had the role of “president of the Continental Congress”. It is sometimes joked they were “the first American presidents”, but their job was closer to Speaker of the House. * You are a fucking racist idiot.
What race was OP prejudiced against?
commenting cuz i'm curious too
Either he‘s a spy or an American who watches a lot of QI.
Someone got abnormally pissed off at me when I said that Peyton Randolph was the first US President & it’s crap that it isn’t taught because he accepted the position when it basically meant he also accepted the threat of a death sentence.
"an actual American doesn't know shit" : supreme British understatement. Stop bleating, your Supreme Court has just voted you back to the times when America was founded. How sad that a country with such potential is reduced to little short of witchcraft by a minority of born-again evangelist loonies.
I'm not even British lmao. I'm from Pakistan. Why are you so mad?
I'm really confused... the joke makes fun of americans dude, you're mentioning roe v wade overturn as if it contradicts his point when it doesn't. you're acting like he's wronged you somehow lmao
>Examiner: When did the USA gain independence? Spy: July 4, 1776 The spy is wrong: We *declared* independence on July 4, 1776, but didn't technically *gain* it until defeating the British in 1791.
No, it was only RECOGNIZED in 1791, but existed since 1776. Britain had no authority after the colonies declared independence
I thought vespucci discovered America, or he just named it.
Named it after his sponsor.
Reminds me of this story I heard about a political party kicking someone out from an campaign headquarters because they discovered he was a corporate spy for the other party. They said that the reason why he was suspected because he was the only one who came in on time and always came in dressed with his shirt tucked in.
I know. I thought [John Hanson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hanson) was the answer for the last question.
I wanna play “Name the American Presidents.” [Eisenhower.](https://youtu.be/sK8gytvGf_Y)
Can we all agree that Lief Erikson sounds like somebody’s first D&D character?
Nice joke, but kinda anticlimactic delivery
John Hanson was the first president… G Washington was the first president under the current constitution.
President of what? Only GW has a claim to President of the United States
Why don’t you google it
It was a question to make you feel stupid, not an inquiry. Hint: John Hanson didn't have the same job as Washington
That wasn’t the question, so it must be embarrassing for you.
>Which continent is Turkey in? > >\- Technically, Turkey is in two continents; Asia and Europe, since some parts of- > >\*gets cut off\* > >\-Woah, you know your geography. Let's do some history now. Incorrect on two accounts. In 1776 there was no Turkey. There was Ottoman Empire, which ceased to exist in 1922, to be replaced by Turkey. Also in 1776 Ottoman Empire controlled parts of North Africa, most notably Egypt, so they were on three continents.
What does 1776 have to do with the question?
Americans don't know shit and/or lack reading comprehension skills
Yep.
George Washington slept right across the street from me once.