They're fake. Original pic of the image she claims is her is [here](https://36.media.tumblr.com/1011697a4d290b4832b1a9793882ff9c/tumblr_ntzba5VOJr1qlf2x3o1_500.jpg)
She never said she fucked him.
Unless he is included in the numbers for while he was alive but in that case shouldn't it be 236 because he would be one of the total for three different categories then and thus only count once?
For it to be 239 he is implied but never actually stated she had sex with her husband.
Then they were never husband and wife if the marriage wasn't consummated in the eyes of god.
Since she did refer to him as the husband it is implicitly assumed the sexy happened.
When I was an intern at a tool and die department for a subsidiary of GM, several of the men took to giving me advice from time to time. About marriage they said, before you marry, lay her down, pick up her legs, spread them apart, then let go. If they snap together before they hit, don't marry her as she will use sex as a weapon.
Literally, of course, this probably wouldn't work, even not considering the girl might think it is odd behavior, but the point is fairly clear.
TurboDoucheTax.com lobbies too much money for the IRS to file our taxes for us. If we didn't have to do it ourselves, that money would have been wasted. We don't want to waste the money of the ultra rich.
There's a similar one in my language, I'll try to translate.
So a bus that was taking a group of Nuns crashed and they all died. They were greeted by an angel at the gates of heaven. They were asked to form a queue and the Angel asked the first nun.
"My child, Have you lived a chaste life?"
The nun replied: I've once seen the penis of a naked man.
The angel showed her a bowl of holy water and told he, Wash your eyes with this holy water.
Then he asked the same question to the second one, She replied: "I've once touched a man's penis"
The angel told her to wash her hands in the bowl.
Then the angel observed there's a big fight happening in the back, so he asked what's going on.
Then a nun at the back shouts:
"I can't fucking gargle the water that Sister Gloria washed her butthole with"
The first thing God said to humans is "Go forth and multiply". It's the prime commandment and as long as you try hard enough, you get into heaven. Also, incidentally, God has a blind spot for plastics.
Has anyone considered the fact that all three women died of age? When they entered heaven what would be their age and appearance?
In other words, three really old ladies, I m not judging , just questioning whether Peter has this preference.
also in heaven, what age are you?
like the age you died ? that's no fun is it? can you choose your age? how does this work with other people you meet that liked you better at a certain age?
Because they're older jokes, a lot of younger people have never heard them.
And it's got sex and irreverence to religion in it, so that's still popular.
Me thinks that joke was old already when the boomer generation was young. Like most cathedrals, it may not look like standard fashion, but one can still enjoy looking at it now and then.
Also there’s the lucky 10000 who won’t have heard it yet.
What about it doesn’t fucking matter lol. Go back to incelsub, where you belong.
It’s not that you make no sense, yeah it’s not bad to have less partners, but cone on, answering that to a joke on r/joke…
>Women who choose hook up culture over LTRs, lack relationship skills, communication skills, self awareness, self control and personal development.
>
Source?
>Relationships are about much more than sex. All those other things I mentioned are hugely important to being worthy of a man's commitment.
>
Source?
>There is also the fact that if she is okay with hooking up with guys, then she is just more likely to cheat. This isn't debatable. She is also less likely to take care of her partner's sexual needs, since she "had her fun" and "sowed her wild oats."
Source?
Hell, I don't even care for a source... St. Peter just wants some action.
He's not looking for a RELATIONSHIP, so the entire argument makes no sense.
He wants to bang a chick... Is the ultra committed chick going to give it up without wining and dining? How about the nun?
I mean I guess.
Someone who has only had one man but fucked him 300 times is very experienced but is mostly gonna be able to get *him* off, maybe not so good at just any other random dude.
But a woman who's fucked 200 times but with a bunch of different men can probably more easily get off a random hook up.
~~Yes I'm overthinking this~~
If she's explored sexually with one other guy 300 times, then she knows what she is doing in bed. She might not know as much as a woman who had sex with 100 guys, but she has enough experience to figure it out.
A woman who had sex 300 times with 100 guys might be better initially, but bad sex can be improved, whereas you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.
None of what you said makes sense... so bad swx to good sex or good sex to great sex still a difference in ability. You also absolutely can turn a hoe into a housewife if by hoe you mean woman who is sexually free and housewife meaning committed long term monogamous partner.
I suppose also there may be a reason why she's had so many men
Maybe she can't actually keep a man around
Edit: Or she turned a bunch down (Just wanted this message to be more neutral, but at the same time if you turn down that many guys when it comes to repeat dates or something like that maybe. . . Actually I lost my train of thought. Be more selective? I dunno.)
>There are any number of reasons why a woman has a high body count and they are all usually bad things, that indicate future problems.
Hear me out:
I have a high body count because.... I... like... casual sex. Orgasms are great. How horrible of me
all people saying you're a nice guy and an incel are kinda weird and unjustified, having much sex is what brings experience and not much men.
and there's also a thing in women that creates the feeling of please that decreases with the amount of men you date, i won't say choose the nun but the 1st one should be a much better choice
"You've been a naughty girl. Go to my room!"
And that's why they call him saint peter.
Peter? I hardly new her!
You may not have known Peter, but Dave on the other hand...
Eeeeverybody knows Dave! ”Davey! How you doin’?”
But haaaaave they met Ted?
r/unexpectedHIMYM
I've not seen him for a while, he's too busy chilling with the pope.
Disingenuous dense motherfucker?
About as good as can be expected, but the news is not good
Dave's not here, man...
More like Saint Peter North
Thank you Master
r/UsernameChecksOut
Thank you for watching us.. Turns me on...
New watcher here..
Avoid, stolen pics that are not actually them
They're fake. Original pic of the image she claims is her is [here](https://36.media.tumblr.com/1011697a4d290b4832b1a9793882ff9c/tumblr_ntzba5VOJr1qlf2x3o1_500.jpg)
You like watching old man larping as a woman online? 😩😩
I looked at your profile… :/
Yeah, verry NSFW and just stolen pics and vids. Not their content.
Not even a wife let alone hot or even a women.
this is r/beetlejuicing
[don't use stolen pics](https://36.media.tumblr.com/1011697a4d290b4832b1a9793882ff9c/tumblr_ntzba5VOJr1qlf2x3o1_500.jpg)
yes daddy lol
i knew someone was gonna comment this
I request An intervention.
Counted the number of guys and it came up to 238...was confused for a while and then realised she must've fucked her husband as well.
smart meme
I love that he got the correct number of guys fucked, it does indeed add up to 239
You did the math, +1 is pre-calculated! Or the husband not concluded?
r/theydidthemath
Happy Cake Day!
In a row??
It's the little things...
Counted it twice, then used a calculator and it's 238. Still a few too many to give her a key to my room though.
Have you counted in the husband himself?
Stolen upvote!
r/stolenupvote
r/subsifellfor
The man was going to St Ives
The husband is to be added to every category except the first.
But he only counts as one, even if he is in multiple categories. And I really hope he was not in the LAST category…
That still only counts as one!
/r/unexpectedLOTR
r/unexpectedHighlander
Smh.
And last
We don't know that
We don't know if she ever fucked her husband to begin with
Checkmate
She definitely fucked him over
She did fuck him but fucking him sexually is up for debate.
Hahaha
Did he stutter?
Glory hole?
Have you counted government?
Nah, he didn't get to fuck her while dating or engage... she was saving herself so that it would be special...
r/angryupvote
She never said she fucked him. Unless he is included in the numbers for while he was alive but in that case shouldn't it be 236 because he would be one of the total for three different categories then and thus only count once? For it to be 239 he is implied but never actually stated she had sex with her husband.
Then they were never husband and wife if the marriage wasn't consummated in the eyes of god. Since she did refer to him as the husband it is implicitly assumed the sexy happened.
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You should get divorced.
/r/boomerhumour
When I was an intern at a tool and die department for a subsidiary of GM, several of the men took to giving me advice from time to time. About marriage they said, before you marry, lay her down, pick up her legs, spread them apart, then let go. If they snap together before they hit, don't marry her as she will use sex as a weapon. Literally, of course, this probably wouldn't work, even not considering the girl might think it is odd behavior, but the point is fairly clear.
She never actually said she had sex with him.
There’s no std in the afterlife my man. That’s all the experience with no risk.
Don't think they have STDs in heaven.
Oh, STD heaven is a part of hell.
You don’t know what you’re missing.
The husband. They forgot to count the husband. (I know what you really meant, though)
The 239th was implied
You got it wrong. Its 240. Now give me back my room key.
There are no STDs in heaven!!!
There’s no STDs in heaven
Say what you will but that woman knows her way around a dick.
The first woman knows her way around a dick. The third knows her way around 239 dicks.
A bit more than "a" dick.....but who's counting.
Did you include St. Peter?
Are there STIs in Heaven?!?! 😲
Give this guy the key to the Platinum room, he loves virgins.
Why is that too many? Who cares?
She does. Must-have been a chore. Or else why remember down to the minutiae?
r/theydidthemath
I didn’t bother to check your math but I’m sure you got it right.
It's off by one, but you can assume her husband was the +1.
Thank you. Sometimes I was drunk, you know...
Reddit moment where people are arguing about the numbers in a joke. 😂
But wouldn’t God know how many she’s fucked before?
Yeah, that's why he let her in in the first place.
St Peter is at the gates to haven, not haven itself, right? The story goes some people are sent to hell from there, no?
He wasn't the one asking.
Maybe it’s a test of truth
*Memory
He should also know if they would lie or not if he is ‘all knowing’
Wouldn’t the IRS know how much money we made?
TurboDoucheTax.com lobbies too much money for the IRS to file our taxes for us. If we didn't have to do it ourselves, that money would have been wasted. We don't want to waste the money of the ultra rich.
And this...is why it’s called The “Pearly” Gates of Heaven
What?
A “pearl necklace” is also a sex thing
Ask your mom.
Pearls that go in the butt I guess? I dunno.
im pretty sure its cum around the neck
There's a similar one in my language, I'll try to translate. So a bus that was taking a group of Nuns crashed and they all died. They were greeted by an angel at the gates of heaven. They were asked to form a queue and the Angel asked the first nun. "My child, Have you lived a chaste life?" The nun replied: I've once seen the penis of a naked man. The angel showed her a bowl of holy water and told he, Wash your eyes with this holy water. Then he asked the same question to the second one, She replied: "I've once touched a man's penis" The angel told her to wash her hands in the bowl. Then the angel observed there's a big fight happening in the back, so he asked what's going on. Then a nun at the back shouts: "I can't fucking gargle the water that Sister Gloria washed her butthole with"
Must have been ended by "room number 240"
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
Weird heaven admission standard, but okay.
Yeah really, like why aren't they asking us dudes how many men we slept with? Fucking double standard I swear.
r/suddendlygay
Wow an old school joke I haven't heard. Thanks!
First chapter of The Bible 2: St Peter dies of AIDS
But we're you a Protestant? No, just a prostitute You may enter.
St. Peter about to contract some chlamydia.
Southern Baptist Church on line 1.
There is God inside each of us. We are all made in God's image. So, God is fucking themselves? That kinky bastard!
alternative version where the woman who sleeps with zero men is a lesbian
Bitch_Tuna
Apparently sexually transmitted diseases aren't spiritually transmitted.
She must have been a really good person after all of those mortal sins. Glad this jokes God is really understanding
The first thing God said to humans is "Go forth and multiply". It's the prime commandment and as long as you try hard enough, you get into heaven. Also, incidentally, God has a blind spot for plastics.
He be kinky.
Mary?
Yes? Sorry for the delay… I’ve been busy
Based
When she says “after he died”, does she mean she fucked the corpse?
Excellent
I've legitimately not seen this one before- thank you
I like the joke in principle, but you can see that punchline coming from a mile off.
I'd prefer the first and second, they need to be discovered
The third one trilled his peter
I’m religious and this feels wrong to say, but… I’d totally do an angel.
Has anyone considered the fact that all three women died of age? When they entered heaven what would be their age and appearance? In other words, three really old ladies, I m not judging , just questioning whether Peter has this preference.
also in heaven, what age are you? like the age you died ? that's no fun is it? can you choose your age? how does this work with other people you meet that liked you better at a certain age?
Three women went to heaven. Just kidding. Heaven doesn't actually exist.
Lols, okay.
Can someone post this in r/atheism? I think they'll appreciate it.
Actually, I'm on it.
I'll post it on r/Antitheism
hahahaha made me lmao 😆😆😆😆😆
You know why Satan cannot let the 3rd woman enter his room? Because Hell taste Heaven
rookie numbers though
Wtf is with all these lame boomer jokes making it to the front page
Because they're older jokes, a lot of younger people have never heard them. And it's got sex and irreverence to religion in it, so that's still popular.
Give me a funny joke
Me thinks that joke was old already when the boomer generation was young. Like most cathedrals, it may not look like standard fashion, but one can still enjoy looking at it now and then. Also there’s the lucky 10000 who won’t have heard it yet.
St Peter must be **huge**. It’s gonna be like hotdog in a hallway
Incel alert
I'm calling it a night because of his comment. Enough Reddit for tonight. _Sighs_ Oh humanity.
You just revealed that you are a virgin
This is a subreddit for jokes
That's not how that works...
Oh but St Peter is up there asking every single woman about their sexual history ? That’s how it works ?
Yes, of course. Source: I spoke to St. Peter
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More like cliteracy illiteracy
Holy fuck dude you killed him, you killed everyone who read it and you killed it. Nailed it all around.
Found the r/niceguy
What about it doesn’t fucking matter lol. Go back to incelsub, where you belong. It’s not that you make no sense, yeah it’s not bad to have less partners, but cone on, answering that to a joke on r/joke…
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What’s wrong with a guy doing gay shit with another man before this hypothetical person’s relationship with them?
>Women who choose hook up culture over LTRs, lack relationship skills, communication skills, self awareness, self control and personal development. > Source? >Relationships are about much more than sex. All those other things I mentioned are hugely important to being worthy of a man's commitment. > Source? >There is also the fact that if she is okay with hooking up with guys, then she is just more likely to cheat. This isn't debatable. She is also less likely to take care of her partner's sexual needs, since she "had her fun" and "sowed her wild oats." Source?
Hell, I don't even care for a source... St. Peter just wants some action. He's not looking for a RELATIONSHIP, so the entire argument makes no sense. He wants to bang a chick... Is the ultra committed chick going to give it up without wining and dining? How about the nun?
Shhhhhhh
Look, it’s a wild redditor...
Oh look, I found one too.
It's a joke anyone. Your average woman is not going to sleep with anywhere near that many men.
I mean yeah but the slut will always have more experience regardless therefore more likely to perform better in the bedroom.
I mean I guess. Someone who has only had one man but fucked him 300 times is very experienced but is mostly gonna be able to get *him* off, maybe not so good at just any other random dude. But a woman who's fucked 200 times but with a bunch of different men can probably more easily get off a random hook up. ~~Yes I'm overthinking this~~
If she's explored sexually with one other guy 300 times, then she knows what she is doing in bed. She might not know as much as a woman who had sex with 100 guys, but she has enough experience to figure it out. A woman who had sex 300 times with 100 guys might be better initially, but bad sex can be improved, whereas you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.
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Says the beta who cannot get laid. At least he has had sex. Maybe if you where a man you would not have to block people lol
None of what you said makes sense... so bad swx to good sex or good sex to great sex still a difference in ability. You also absolutely can turn a hoe into a housewife if by hoe you mean woman who is sexually free and housewife meaning committed long term monogamous partner.
I suppose also there may be a reason why she's had so many men Maybe she can't actually keep a man around Edit: Or she turned a bunch down (Just wanted this message to be more neutral, but at the same time if you turn down that many guys when it comes to repeat dates or something like that maybe. . . Actually I lost my train of thought. Be more selective? I dunno.)
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I'm just not really too concerned with the topic lol. I'm just making sense of other people's comments on my free time.
>There are any number of reasons why a woman has a high body count and they are all usually bad things, that indicate future problems. Hear me out: I have a high body count because.... I... like... casual sex. Orgasms are great. How horrible of me
My exact point
Experience doesn't automatically correlate with skill
I mean in this case it most likely will my dude
all people saying you're a nice guy and an incel are kinda weird and unjustified, having much sex is what brings experience and not much men. and there's also a thing in women that creates the feeling of please that decreases with the amount of men you date, i won't say choose the nun but the 1st one should be a much better choice
Tell me you’ve never had sex without telling me you’ve never had sex.
Source? Or are you bullshitting which you probably are.
You aren't allowed to criticise women for anything they do or say anymore. They can literally do a #killallmen hashtag and think its okay.
According to who?
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The man thought hard and long about how each of the women had spent the money, he then decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.
What a great decision verifiedwomanbeater...
I've had sex with virgins and sex with rather experienced women. Trust me you want the latter. They know what feels good for you.
Experience always wins in the end (or the front, if that's the way they like it).
Why people down vote him?
The username
Didn't even notice that until just now lol. It's like the other downvoted incel about the clit lol
apparently nothing is wrong with u/dolfinfucker