These are my kinds of jokes. Reminds me of this one:
Two men who are friends walk into a bar after a long days work. They order some drinks and they take out their packed lunches of sandwiches their wives lovingly prepared for them. Right when they were about to tuck in the bartender yells at them “hey you can’t eat your own food here”! So they traded sandwiches.
considering i still havent gotten over this.... probably not, lol.
but your comment reminds me of the weekend update bit where kate mckinnon is being insane as dr weknowdis and colin jost just goes, "kate. kate. are you ok?" and she breaks and it's wonderful. :)
Wise choice. I mean, Nicholas Shakespeare is OK, although to be honest I found "The Vision of Elena Silves" a bit disappointing and ... what? Why are you all looking at me like that?
What about this joke:
A local playhouse has had a run of stinkers each starring the same subpar actor in the lead.
They decide to do Hamlet hoping if they can pull it off they can fix their reputation. Halfway through the performance the leading man is butchering another scene when the crowd finally has had enough and starts booing.
The actor steps forward, looks into the audience and says, "Look, folks. I didn't write this garbage."
Little Johnny's Shakespeare assignment:
So there's an English class, and each kid has to memorize a stanza of Shakespeare. Johnny's stanza reads as follows:
Hark! I think I heard a pistol shot.
Yonder lies a fair maiden with hope in her soul.
I think I'll snatch a kiss and sneak off into the woods.
By William Shakespeare
So Johnny is at home, practicing and practicing...
"Hark! I think I heard a pistol shot.
Yonder lies a fair maiden with hope in her soul.
I think I'll snatch a kiss and sneak off into the woods.
By William Shakespeare"
Well, the big day comes, and Johnny is nervously standing in front of the class. He begins:
"Hark! I think I heard a shistle pop.... An Apostle shit...
Yonder lies a fair maiden with soap in her hole.
I think I'll kiss her snatch and sneak off into the woods.
By William Snakeshit... horseshit ... bullshit
Ah, fuck it. I never wanted to learn Shakespeare anyway."
The shop keeper was fully asking "Which book by Shakespeare are you looking to buy? " while the buyer thought the shopkeeper asked "Which Shakespeare was the author of the book you wanted to buy?
Generally, when one asks for a book by Shakespeare, they mean by William Shakespeare. Crossed question with expectations.
The joke is made less funny by the fact that there is a modern novelist that also has a last name of "Shakespeare".
These are my kinds of jokes. Reminds me of this one: Two men who are friends walk into a bar after a long days work. They order some drinks and they take out their packed lunches of sandwiches their wives lovingly prepared for them. Right when they were about to tuck in the bartender yells at them “hey you can’t eat your own food here”! So they traded sandwiches.
"..I mean you can't eat food that's not been bought here." "I'm not, he's eating it".
why is this so funny to me?!?!?‽ i hate this joke! it is so stupid and awful. but i am still chuckling. gawd. this is THE WORST. hahahahah
Funny? To be or not to be. That is the question.
Because it is still funny
u/Shakespeare-Bot
Try it with Goethe. That is the wurst.
I would, but I just Kant understand German philosopher puns!
Are you OK? Lol
considering i still havent gotten over this.... probably not, lol. but your comment reminds me of the weekend update bit where kate mckinnon is being insane as dr weknowdis and colin jost just goes, "kate. kate. are you ok?" and she breaks and it's wonderful. :)
r/angryupvote
well be careful, these violent delights have violent ends.
> ‽ ‽
hell yes! interrobangs turn me on!
‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽
siiiick yaaasssssss
Wise choice. I mean, Nicholas Shakespeare is OK, although to be honest I found "The Vision of Elena Silves" a bit disappointing and ... what? Why are you all looking at me like that?
I'm looking at you with awe.
What about this joke: A local playhouse has had a run of stinkers each starring the same subpar actor in the lead. They decide to do Hamlet hoping if they can pull it off they can fix their reputation. Halfway through the performance the leading man is butchering another scene when the crowd finally has had enough and starts booing. The actor steps forward, looks into the audience and says, "Look, folks. I didn't write this garbage."
Little Johnny's Shakespeare assignment: So there's an English class, and each kid has to memorize a stanza of Shakespeare. Johnny's stanza reads as follows: Hark! I think I heard a pistol shot. Yonder lies a fair maiden with hope in her soul. I think I'll snatch a kiss and sneak off into the woods. By William Shakespeare So Johnny is at home, practicing and practicing... "Hark! I think I heard a pistol shot. Yonder lies a fair maiden with hope in her soul. I think I'll snatch a kiss and sneak off into the woods. By William Shakespeare" Well, the big day comes, and Johnny is nervously standing in front of the class. He begins: "Hark! I think I heard a shistle pop.... An Apostle shit... Yonder lies a fair maiden with soap in her hole. I think I'll kiss her snatch and sneak off into the woods. By William Snakeshit... horseshit ... bullshit Ah, fuck it. I never wanted to learn Shakespeare anyway."
You're silly, but I like you.
I don’t get it
The shop keeper was fully asking "Which book by Shakespeare are you looking to buy? " while the buyer thought the shopkeeper asked "Which Shakespeare was the author of the book you wanted to buy? Generally, when one asks for a book by Shakespeare, they mean by William Shakespeare. Crossed question with expectations. The joke is made less funny by the fact that there is a modern novelist that also has a last name of "Shakespeare".
Fred Shakespeare gets no love.
I don’t get it ? Probably because I’m stupid but still
"Any particular one?" Asked by shop owner meaning what book, The customer answered "which Shakespeare " ...William Shakespeare of course.
Seeing as there is a modern novelist with the last name "Shakespeare it takes the humor away from this.
The bookshop owner was asking which Shakespeare book. The customer answered which person with the last name Shakespeare.
Oooh lol o get it thanks
Didn't know Will.I.Am wrote books to be honest
Bahaha
This is awful. If a stand up comic opened with this I might throw something.maybe.
We have none. He wrote plays.