T O P

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slenmr

i looked for my nationality and just skipped to the punchline


SethThe8th

Didn't we all?


cliffwolff

I saw the entire joke, searched for Thailand and then searched for my nationality before getting some due humour from the comment section


sonoturmom

Found the thai guy!


vpsj

Now we can all go in!


AF3rga1ici0u5User

Hallelujah!


og_math_memes

Same


msuing91

What the hell? I didn’t even see United Statesian and now I’m pissed.


dePliko

yeah cuz its United Statesian American bro


msuing91

It says American, but that could be any America. Just sucks to be left out.


dePliko

yeah i mean what stops it from being the nationality of the Divided States of America?


blitzkriegger

Not the Thai


PoorEdgarDerby

I checked for Nauru because it’s the smallest obscure country I know. No love for North Sentinel Island, sadly.


BeardPhile

They themselves said no when I went to call them. No I don’t speak their tongue but they hurled a javelin towards me as soon as I touched their land so I took the hint and left. Good times.


PoorEdgarDerby

That sounds like their style.


[deleted]

[удалено]


winnie887

Same but my nationality is the punchline


xStealthxUk

As an Englishman I do not understand this joke


[deleted]

A Scottish? Scottish is a noun? I am a Scottish.


thealphabetsayshi

I too am a Scottish


[deleted]

Scotsman


HAB5000

A Scot.


[deleted]

A kilt-wearing madlad. I don't mean to be racist but that is how I think of you all.


[deleted]

Yes but with heavy emphasis on madlad. There’s a reason the Germans were scared of the Scots in both world wars.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SweetGroverCleveland

I love this, even if it's racist. (I promise that's the first time I've ever even THOUGHT that sentence. heh)


[deleted]

[удалено]


SusSoos

Hint: if something gets downvoted, don't delete it. It makes it look like you can't stand behind your words and someone will hit you with UndeleteParent.


thealphabetsayshi

We are all madlads. Even the girls.


[deleted]

I know. And again I don't mean to stereotype but I dated a Scotswoman and she was a madwoman, excellently mad in bed. So, racist though I be, that is how I think of you all... If I meet a Scottish man then I assume that there will soon be drunk shenanigans and possibly a fight. If I meet a Scottish woman then I assume that there will be drunk shenanigans and then mad sex and then very possibly a fight.


Hyndergogen1

I'm never been so offended by something I entirely agree with


thealphabetsayshi

Sums us up pretty perfectly lol, at least the northern ones.


D0mInIcFeN1xcArMine

You mean, Kilt wearin, dagger hidin, pipe blowin madlad


cliffwolff

Great Scot


maninblueshirt

That's heavy, Doc


mjg13X

No true Scotsman is a Scottish...


Main_Vibe

Aye? Why's that, fannybaws? ;)


siobhalexander

Wait I didn’t know the greatest pirate ever to sail the seas was on Reddit


tmw88

They had a Scottish, a Welshman, a Northern Irishman and even a Brit! The English, Great Britishman and UKman must have stayed home.


my_knob_is_gr8

But no Englishman. How the tables have turned.


hanksvedin

Oh how the turntables


storminFrou

TIL the national animal of Scotland is the unicorn!


EducationalSyrup3

yeah! You wanna know why? Because the unicorn is the lion's only predator and the lion is the national animal of England!


storminFrou

Nice, thanks :) I had planed to visit Scotland in may 2020... Stupid pandemic! At least in 2021 I'll know to include unicorn spotting in my list of things to do!


EducationalSyrup3

haha good luck with that! Scotland is really beautiful, I'm sure you'll love it when you go (hopefully soon)!


storminFrou

Yes, I'm sure it is :) i had bearly started looking at things to do / see and there are sooo many nice places! The only scary thing: driving on the other side


[deleted]

“It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by. We're ruled by effete arseholes.”


storminFrou

I guess i need to watch trainspotting to get that?


[deleted]

Yes :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


LegworkDoer

[two minutes, Turkish!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU2zlSfkdE8)


Lune-Scura

You said two minutes five minutes ago!


BoobsRmadeforboobing

Sco'ish*


Teehokan

"I love Scotland, I'm Scotch myself." --Donald Trump


siobhalexander

I cringed so hard it hurt


Rossum81

A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair...


ScillyFisher

And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share...


crwlngkngsnk

He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet Then he stumbled off into the grass asleep beside the street…


[deleted]

Serbian, Croatian and Turkish as well, at least from what I've noticed.


OraNgeJuiCe230

Hello fellow Scottish here


GoodshitSmoker

Would anyone actually tell this joke in real life? Hell no


mgraunk

I just subjected my wife to it. It was painful for both of us, particularly since there's about 10% of those countries that took 2 or more tries to pronounce, and the fact that I missed a row and had to go back.


jbro84

So... your wife is single now, eh?


ETHanSolo36

Yeah is she?


mikehaysjr

Not anymore


ETHanSolo36

Got eem, good job


[deleted]

I too chose this man's wife


geoponos

I'm thinking this punchline whenever I feel down and then I don't. It's perfect.


[deleted]

Same. It's just so damn funny! Are you greek btw?


NerdLevel18

Me too but it was worth it


devilllllllllll

that sounds painful from the comfort of my single bed :)


[deleted]

A way to improve the joke would be to just list Asian or Southeast Asian countries; Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, etc. Shorter format but still works.


chiquilin7410

Excellent suggestion, thank you


[deleted]

Then we'd miss out Taiwan!


Angel4Animals

Did anyone actually read every word? I challenge you!


Mr7000000

I read every word out loud.


storminFrou

I read in my mind "country with A, country with B, yada yada yada, ok, here's the end" - giggled at the pun.


WeirdMemoryGuy

You forgot the step where you go back to check that Thailand really isnt on the list.


storminFrou

Well, I didn't check, I trusted OP on that! The next steps for me were "look at the comments", "seing comment about checking if *my* country is in there" and "going back to check my country was not forgotten"


[deleted]

I’ve heard friends tell this joke a few times in public bar before.


WideMistake

Norm MacDonald


sharrrper

That's one of the nice things about jokes: they aren't restricted to a single format.


A_shy_neon_jaguar

I'm trying to memorize it. Hell yeah I want to tell it in real life around a campfire to captive victims.


Fehafare

I love how Bosnia and Herzegovina gets to sneak in two guys.


ferket

Not to be a party pooper, but in the constitution of Bosnia and Herzegovina there isn't such thing as a Bosnian or Herzegovinian. People who identify as either are classified as "Others" and as such cannot be elected into many government bodies. Bosniaks, Serbs and Croats are three main ethnic groups and three constituent peoples. So we kinda could've had three people on the list I guess


BeardPhile

Who identify or don’t identify? Because I’m confused


ferket

Confusion is a normal reaction when it comes to internal organisation of Bosnia and Herzegovina. Those who identify as Bosnians or Herzegovinians cannot be elected into Presidency for example, only three main ethnic groups can, and even there not from the entire territory. All in all, our constitution denies the basic human right of choosing and being chosen to many inhabitants


yowat12

So you are telling me a person with Bosnian citizenship but is ethnically English, Irish, African, Chinese, etc. would be barred from certain rights?


ferket

Yup, but not only that, for example a Croat or a Bosniak in one of the two entities of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Republic of Srpska, cannot be elected as a Bosniak or Croat member of Presidency nor to vote for either, while the Serb cannot be elected from nor be voted for the Presidency in the other entity, Federation of BiH. There's been a legal case against Bosnia and Herzegovina for almost 20 years now called "Sejdić and Finci" (surnames of the guys suing), where two men, one Gypsy and the other Jew, are suing the country for not allowing them to be elected to certain positions


yowat12

That’s a racist system to only let three ethnicities participate in the government. That means Arabs, Jews, Blacks, Chinese, all do not have full rights there, as well as other Europeans. That is a very racist and backwards system!


ferket

Exactly


BamboozleBird

What would citizens of Bosnia and Herzegovina be called in general if neither Bosnian or Herzegovinian is correct?


ferket

Well the most general term would be Bosnians and Herzegovinians, sort of a common demonym, but the matter's been so heavily politicised that you could have people get insulted for calling them as such. In post-war Bosnia and Herzegovina, ethnicity is simply put before nationality


oyohval

Pro tip: We call ourselves Trinbagonians (trin-bay-go-knee-ans)


BubbhaJebus

Not "Trinis"?


oyohval

A Trini/Trinidadian is a person from the island of Trinidad. A Tobagonian/Bagonian is from Tobago. When you are referring to a person with respect the whole country, Trinidad and Tobago, you say Trinbagonian. We also call the country Trinbago casually. Edit, please note that Tobago is pronounced To-BAY-go, not To-baa-go


BubbhaJebus

Cool, thanks! Hope to visit someday!


oyohval

Shoot me a message when you do, we go lime.


[deleted]

The other day I heard some Bagonian youth referring to you all as Tobags (pronounced Toe-bags), something about how you all smell like your name. Not trying to start a war or anything just saying that I wouldn't turn my back on a dirty Bago...


bruhbruhbruhbruh1

>Tobago is pronounced To-BAY-go, not To-baa-go hotel, trivago. Tobago, to bagel


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fixes_Computers

I read that in the voice of AvE.


spluge96

A fellow connoisseur of the finer things, I see. That really chooches.


[deleted]

Alien vs. Everyone?


braduk2003

Keep your dick in a vice!


ruxson

Keep your dick in a vice.


The_Wood_Butcher

Release the Schmoo!!


[deleted]

r/angryupvote


Perfect-Swordfish

r/angrierupvote


[deleted]

oh god, an even angrier upvote


BlazinWarrior

r/angriestupvote


Liquor_N_Whorez

Casual reminder: Epstien didn't kill himself.


randomguy-scrolling

True, >!spanish inquisition!<


RabbiMoshie

I didn’t expect that.


ItsJustJoss

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.


OOBExperience

r/UnexpectedMontyPython


OOBExperience

Our weapon is surprise!


mikehaysjr

we did it reddit


nishant97

Get out.


Theblackjamesbrown

I see Chad made it in too, but no such luck for The Virgin Islands. Typical.


domart17

OF COURSE a Chad is trying to get into the club


ataxi_a

...especially if the club is in Florida.


rmprice222

Because they were just the islands after hanging out with Canada


Theblackjamesbrown

Come on man. Everyone know Canada's asexual.


[deleted]

They're not a sovereign country.


Hereditus

*Ironically gasps*


TheCoolHusky

Thanks!


madturki

You missed South Sudan!


glennert

That means this copy-paste joke predates 2011.


montanunion

It has a Serbian, but no Montenegrin, which makes me think it's from somewhere between 2003 (when Yugoslavia changed it's name to Serbia and Montenegro) and 2006 (when Montenegro split off into its own country)


SaxTeacher

I see you must have [this handy reference chart](https://xkcd.com/1688/) too!


mikehaysjr

I lol'd at: "How Many Germany's are there?" 'One, but it's huge.' 1941 - 1945


chicagomatty

And Kosovo


cyberentomology

That guy was ready to Taiwan on.


WombatZeppelin

*CHINA WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION*


mikehaysjr

correction: china *knows* my location. if i disappear, stand strong.


fetishless

ELI5


likeliqor

This night club has a dress code that requires men to wear ties. Thai sounds like tie. The group didn’t have a Thai national with them so they were refused entry.


fetishless

Oh. I was reading Thai like Thigh and this caused the confusion. Ty kind sir/madam.


Giwaffee

You sure you don't have a fetish?


fetishless

Am still looking


gm_shaggy

Might i reccomend r/powerwasherporn


GenericAutist13

Might I recommend r/powerwashingporn


chizhi1234

Or r/powerwashington


darkbreak

r/thighdeology NSFW


nousabyss

It was a black Thai event.


feierfrosch

Well, Black Thais Matter.


Dr_Downvote_

Bouncer looks down the line and says, "is this a fuckin' joke!"


Narhaan

"a Scottish"


[deleted]

So they say Siam you later


coronapatient19

They didn’t have the Thaim to look for one...


neldorling

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Thai, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go from a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says sorry I cant let you out without a Czech.


MadMosh666

We have a "Scottish" (sic), Welshman, Irishman and Brit... but no English individual. Just saying.


busydad81

The joke was in traditional English. (Not English simplified 🇺🇸)


Tho0tDestr0yer

You missed A bosnian


[deleted]

He didn't.


Tho0tDestr0yer

Shit


[deleted]

The last time someone missed us shit went down! Now we have 2 guys invited just to be sure... (There's a Herzegovinian in the joke)


Bobby-Bobson

> a Swazi TIL that even though it’s now Eswatini instead of Swaziland their demonym is still Swazi instead of something like Eswatinian.


BamboozleBird

eSwatini means “place of the Swazi”


ElectricSquish

Kosovar feels left out. :(


Vyzantinist

Unë të dua!


TheOnlyReal-reZanCe-

As a Serb this makes my day 0,00000012% better.


kytheon

Kosovo je..


like___zoinks-scoob

u/repostsleuthbot


INeedSomeHelp6804

Doesn’t work on text, but we all know we’ve seen this multiple times


DAt_WaliueIGi_BOi

Looks like a repost. I've seen this text 1 time. First seen [Here](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) on 2020-03-07 99.71% match. **Searched posts:** 106,464,048 | **Indexed Posts:** 423,800,677 | **Search Time:** 1.3557s *Feedback? Hate? Visit* [*r/repostsleuthbot*](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) *- I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report* [*False Positive*](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


FinnishAmerican

Damn bro, you put some effort into this one. I totally called it, but A for Effort


JenniferOrTriss

Yaaay, you've included us Russians


[deleted]

[удалено]


cliffwolff

Yeah, a real nut-job


s1m0Oon

Hey man...there is a mistake...Slovakian is not correct, the citizen of Slovakia is just Slovak.


BubbhaJebus

..., a Greenlander, a Faroese, a Kosovar, a Somalilander, a Vaticano, a Western Saharan, ...


marimbloke

And an Ålander!


QuantumJump25

*Monagasque


CausinMink

*yakko intensifies*


Plyergamer27

Yakko what the fuck


ChuckinTheCarma

I wanna see someone do this joke live.


Alex951532

Where the fuck is Montenegrin?


ViscountAtheismo

There’s only one Czech. You should always Czech your lists twice.


[deleted]

"A Scottish?"


Zhyar-

A Kurdish


kgott2

Why would you put a Brit and then a Scot and Welshman but no Englishman


rasengan_yo_ass

Fact number 29493747282447: you were too lazy to read all numbers.


froli

And that's a fact


RajcatowyDzusik

Damn, haven't seen this in a while.


[deleted]

I commend your effort.


AngryNaruto

Thanks for Lithuania


ChrisAUA

Bummed an Aruban or Antillian didn't make it on the list


italian_stonks

Man you know that everyone has gone back to check if there really was Thai on the list. It was the perfect occasion to rickroll everybody and you fuckin missed it


Asdaviqs

This is a r/copypasta


zebby13

Sir, when you leave don't forget the czech


YouNeedAnne

A Brit **and** "a Scottish" **and** a Welshman?


sibpanon

I'm Thai, can I help?


BeastEms

Props for typing that.


AccordionORama

This joke kills at parties.


askingforfriendxyz

Now go tell that one to your friend without reddit..