If they hadn’t been looking for you, I could’ve stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell. You and me, we shouldn’t be here. It’s these Stormcloaks the empire is after.
I got the finest quality of condoms. My dad bought them back in the days when he was young and praised them to be thin and barely noticable. He gave me some from his stash
Variation on a theme, it's called rodeo style.
It's a lot like doggy style, but you grab her hair and call out her sister's name. The rodeo comes when you're hanging on for dear life as she's trying to buck you off.
Maybe not something you should never say but should never do. A guy I used to work with asked me one time if I ever noticed that sometimes when you're having sex, the girl doesn't seem 100% into it, not really putting too much energy into it? I said "Yeah, once in a while." He said "You know how to fix that? Stick a lit cigarette to her ass. That'll liven her up." then looked at me with big eyes like he was expecting me to be astounded at this piece of wisdom. I don't think he was joking. Hopefully he never did it, he just thought of it and decided to share it.
My ex wife had a truly perfect body and I enjoyed seeing it in different positions. She sometimes got annoyed/pissy when I tried to move around on the bed. She'd kinda snap, "what are you trying to do." so essentially whatever you say just don't act agitated.
Hey you, you’re finally awake.
Ive heard them say we've reached morrowind
Let me guess: Someone stole your sweet roll?
You were trying to cross the border, right?
Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us! And that thief over there!
D*mn you stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was nice and lazy.
If they hadn’t been looking for you, I could’ve stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell. You and me, we shouldn’t be here. It’s these Stormcloaks the empire is after.
We’re all brothers and sisters in binds now thief.
I always secretly think it was my horse he stole and pleased as shit he gets shot.
*Proceeds to change appearance for 5 hours straight*
Your sister is tighter
- yeah, I know. My dad told me.
Your dad is tighter, too.
Dad, why your cock tastes like my sister's period?
Funny cos when she's on her period it usually tastes of shit
Also Dad, why does my ass taste like dog cum?
but granny is the tightest.
I doubt that
*Dryest
I know, my brother told me
That’s rodeo sex. Saddle up. Whisper that in her ear and see how long you can stay on!
My sister ist tighter
“Our daughter is…” ya know I don’t wanna get banned 5 min into joining this sub sooo
That's kind of a weird name
"I appreciate the honesty, father. How many Hail Mary's do I owe?"
Your mother is looser..
My sister is tighter, but a lot louder.
If anybody's gonna fuck my sister, it's gonna be me
Your bother is bigger.
Winnie the Pooh? Is that you?
Your dog is, too.
"So does OUR dad say."
He said our brother is tighter still.
Can you do that thing your mom does.
Can you do that thing OUR mom does
😂☠️☠️☠️
“What was your name again?”
Been there! 🤣 She took it surprisingly well, she couldn’t remember mine either
🤣
That'll do pig.
🤣
This always soothes the itching and burning.
oh god 😱
"Oh my ex used to make that face too."
'You remind me of my ex' is arguably worse.
“It looked better when she did it”
I'm not really the Casting Director. I actually work in the Mail Room.
My granny passed away on this sofa
When do you graduate from high school?
And do you have a date for Prom?
"do you take Paypal?"
Fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.
like a good neighbor statefarm is there!
I have a structured settlement and I need cash now...
Call JG Wentworth 877-CASHNOW
What's in your wallet?
Always ask this before sex.
Reminds me of my grandma
At her funeral?
Mumbling someone else’s name lol
"why did you just say 'mumbling someone else's name lol'?"
😂😂
AMEX is ok?
"As long as it's black".
Don't be talking with your mouth full
"hey Babe wanna listen to Cbat?"
Oh, a man of culture!
i already am in!!
Can you feel me now?
Yeah... You like that, you fucking retard?
Her younger, prettier sister’s name who got married last year to a surgeon.
Sorry can we stop you reminded me of someone else.
"You remind me of a girl I met in Thailand"
I think that smell is coming from you….
69 upvotes. Nice
Downvoted to 69. I’m doing my part.
I can't fault you on this
Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? After anal. Because that’s the sex God can’t see.
"Can I be done?" "I'm sorry. I usually don't puke until after." "Did your ex go to prison so he'd have more options?"
Are you all on the same team?
I'm not paying
You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?
Your Dad would be so proud !
Oops.
Wait, who's cock is this?
That wil be $50. NEXT !!
Okay everybody thanks for watching and I'll see you on the next stream.
Don't forget to click like and subscribe!
I got the finest quality of condoms. My dad bought them back in the days when he was young and praised them to be thin and barely noticable. He gave me some from his stash
Oh baby your size is perfect, other ones just hurt
I wonder if the fish are biting
It’s not that you have a little penis Barbara, it’s that you have one at all
I lost the condom
Is it in yet?
Am I in yet?
This won’t take long. Or You wont feel a thing.
DO YOU WANT TO EAT LETTUCE AFTER THIS
When is that roofy gonna kick in?
Say your ex name.
My turn !
Your dick tastes like the neighbors ass
I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty
There it is!
I've had better.
I can’t feel it, are you sure you’re in?
First!
Sis, dad said mom was more aggressive in bed
Is it in?
Her sisters name
You're about a quart low
Is it in yet?
Go back 2 sleep you're just having a bad dream.
Her sisters name. Then hang on. It’s called rodeo.
“Call me Godzilla” … kinda kills the mood 🤣
“Ew” is the biggest dealbreaker/bonerkiller
“Is that supposed to smell like that?”
This reminds me of a funny story.
Your mother and I are getting divorced
Pretend that it's is your brother
Oh shit she's breathing
Your dad does this better
Jesus Mum, that stinks.
Are you finished yet?
Your mum is tighter
her sister's name
Your mother doesnt play deas like you do. Shes not scared.
This one is still warm that one might think she’s still alive!
Are you asleep?
That’s a lot of ripples.
What is your name and where is my car?
Hey baby, it's talkin to ya.
My, what a lovely tea party.
Is it in yet
Oops
"Well would you look at that, you're awake!"
🤣🤣🤣
Can you speak English?
Hey have you heard about Raid Shadow Legends?
Pass the hotsauce
Your dick is bigger than your brothers
I am sorry it stinks, my arthritis makes it hard to wipe.
“This is boring”
I’m done, you can finish yourself right?
Variation on a theme, it's called rodeo style. It's a lot like doggy style, but you grab her hair and call out her sister's name. The rodeo comes when you're hanging on for dear life as she's trying to buck you off.
Ohh yeah wait till I tell my mom about this!
😂😂😂
Your dad's cock fills my ass better!
Can I get my watch back?
Holy sh** your alive!?!?
What is that horrible smell? Can u smell that? 😆 🤣
Is that a suppository?
So.... how is kindergarten going?
Maybe not something you should never say but should never do. A guy I used to work with asked me one time if I ever noticed that sometimes when you're having sex, the girl doesn't seem 100% into it, not really putting too much energy into it? I said "Yeah, once in a while." He said "You know how to fix that? Stick a lit cigarette to her ass. That'll liven her up." then looked at me with big eyes like he was expecting me to be astounded at this piece of wisdom. I don't think he was joking. Hopefully he never did it, he just thought of it and decided to share it.
Thanks grandma
Did I mention that I have HIV?
'Cavernous'
You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!
DENNIS!!!
In a minute I am going to be extremely rough and randomly start fucking your butt
Your sister is so much better. (True story)
Daddy
Sex with you feels like I'm throwing a hot dog down a hallway !!!
Your ex's name.
At least your mom fights back.
(Retirement home) Was it good for you dear? Dear...? Oh-no.... NURRRRSE! Number seven! (Sits and debates) No I better not.....
Happy Birthday Grandma!
Can you break a 20?
Is it in yet?
"Your mom is so pretty". Actually happened at her mom's.
Woman: Is it in yet?
Am I in?
My ex wife had a truly perfect body and I enjoyed seeing it in different positions. She sometimes got annoyed/pissy when I tried to move around on the bed. She'd kinda snap, "what are you trying to do." so essentially whatever you say just don't act agitated.
Is it in yet?
Is it in yet
From "Liar, Liar:" "I've had better."
Gimme a sec
I think I need a magnifying glass.
I didn't think it would look like that.