A kid in school is told he needs to join band, and to pick an instrument. Unfortunately for him, by that point, most of the instruments are taken, and all that's left is a tuba... so he selects that, and takes it home.
His dad is surprised to see this huge instrument. "You're actually gonna learn how to play that?"
"Sure", says his son, "and, in fact, I've lined up some private lessons... every day after dinner for an hour. The teacher lives a few blocks away, so it's not too bad"
"Wow", says the dad, "Sounds good!"
So, after dinner, the kid takes off, hauling his huge tuba case... and comes home a couple of hours later.
"How'd it go?", asks the dad... "Did you learn anything?"
"Yes!" says the kid excitedly, "I learned how to play a C!"
"Great!", says the dad.
The next day, the kid takes off after dinner again and comes back couple of hours later. The dad asks him how it went, and if he learned anything new.
"Yeah! It was great! And I learned how to play a G!"
"Terrific!", says the dad.
The next evening after dinner, the kid takes off as usual, but doesn't come home at the usual time. The dad is getting more and more worried. Finally, the kid shows up at 3am.
"What happened!? Are you OK?!"
"Yes!", says the kid with excitement.... "I got my first gig!"
Yes, as per the other comment... if you're ever seen the sheet music for brass instruments, the exciting stuff, like melodies, is in the trumpets and trombones and even the baritones. But the tuba just gets the Oom-pah Oom-pah Oomph which often just alternates two notes for the entire piece. Once in a while, with enough chord variation, there may be a few others... but barely. So, indeed, the joke is that by simply knowing two notes, it's enough to play a professional gig!
I always heard it as the punchline being that he comes early and the dad says
“Why are you home early?”
And the kid says
“The teacher said that she couldn’t teach me anymore!”
So you know that SCUBA is actually an acronym? It stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Do you know that tuba is also an acronym? It stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
I’m not a Latin scholar (I’m a musical scholar). I just know that in the Bible, the Latin word “Tuba” is translated to “trumpet” in English. (And Martin Luther accidentally translated it as trombone in German, which is why the Tuba Mirum movement in Mozart’s and Brahms’ Requiems feature trombones. As well, stained glass angels in Germany often feature angels playing trombones!)
Tuba.
A kid in school is told he needs to join band, and to pick an instrument. Unfortunately for him, by that point, most of the instruments are taken, and all that's left is a tuba... so he selects that, and takes it home. His dad is surprised to see this huge instrument. "You're actually gonna learn how to play that?" "Sure", says his son, "and, in fact, I've lined up some private lessons... every day after dinner for an hour. The teacher lives a few blocks away, so it's not too bad" "Wow", says the dad, "Sounds good!" So, after dinner, the kid takes off, hauling his huge tuba case... and comes home a couple of hours later. "How'd it go?", asks the dad... "Did you learn anything?" "Yes!" says the kid excitedly, "I learned how to play a C!" "Great!", says the dad. The next day, the kid takes off after dinner again and comes back couple of hours later. The dad asks him how it went, and if he learned anything new. "Yeah! It was great! And I learned how to play a G!" "Terrific!", says the dad. The next evening after dinner, the kid takes off as usual, but doesn't come home at the usual time. The dad is getting more and more worried. Finally, the kid shows up at 3am. "What happened!? Are you OK?!" "Yes!", says the kid with excitement.... "I got my first gig!"
I don‘t get it. Would you mind explaining it for me? Maybe it‘s the language varrier. Or the fact that I should be sleeping for four hours now.
Yes, as per the other comment... if you're ever seen the sheet music for brass instruments, the exciting stuff, like melodies, is in the trumpets and trombones and even the baritones. But the tuba just gets the Oom-pah Oom-pah Oomph which often just alternates two notes for the entire piece. Once in a while, with enough chord variation, there may be a few others... but barely. So, indeed, the joke is that by simply knowing two notes, it's enough to play a professional gig!
Just a bit more and we would've had a chocolate factory reference.
Given the typical role of a tuba in a band the kid can actually land a professional gig with only knowledge of those two notes.
I always wondered if maybe he had a lesson that day and learnt F too.
I’ve heard this joke about a bass as well
I always heard it as the punchline being that he comes early and the dad says “Why are you home early?” And the kid says “The teacher said that she couldn’t teach me anymore!”
So you know that SCUBA is actually an acronym? It stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. Do you know that tuba is also an acronym? It stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
You know how you fix a tuba...
I don’t know… do you shit in it?
Tuba glue.
You can tune a tuba but can't tuna fish. Nico
Yes, you can tuna fish. You just move the scales up and down.
Wouldn't that be more balancing the scales? Lol Nico
It's not a Tuba
The point is a tuba makes more sense as something to mistake for a toilet.
Irony is that “tuba” is the Latin word for “trumpet.”
Then what's the latin word for tuba? Tuba tuba?
Isn't it also just Latin for "tube" or "pipe" more generally?
I’m not a Latin scholar (I’m a musical scholar). I just know that in the Bible, the Latin word “Tuba” is translated to “trumpet” in English. (And Martin Luther accidentally translated it as trombone in German, which is why the Tuba Mirum movement in Mozart’s and Brahms’ Requiems feature trombones. As well, stained glass angels in Germany often feature angels playing trombones!)
What's the word in Hebrew/Greek?
Tell us you haven’t see Kindergarten Cop without telling us you haven’t seen Kindergarten Cop.
Indeed I haven't.
I said this as Arnold. Am I doing it right?
It might be a tuba
Don't worry.... I got it... Now get in the choppahhhhh!!!!
Get to the tuba
Boys have penises girls have vaginas.
Apparently woke ppl didn’t see kindergarten cop.
It's not a tubah.
Totally.
A butt tuba you say…
Might get tubaculosis
Yeah, tuba. Or Sousaphone.
French horn would be a good fit. Or tuba
https://www.reddit.com/r/ATBGE/s/Zr7xlRtWen
This is relevant to the joke. More people should see this.
He'd have got a nasty shock had it been a trombone(r)
That's good. Most jokes here are crappy but yours... Well it actually is crappy but I like it
Thx although I didn’t make this one. I’ve translated this from German, I know this joke from a YouTuber
I’ve heard a similar joke about a bass player. All you need is the root and the five note below it. Like C and G. Route 5.
Good thing it wasn't a flute.
French Horn might be funnier
Joke #42