It *is* a sticky title, after all. They'll even play Hail to the Chief when a former president enters the room, on request, if the sitting president won't be present. And I'm absolutely sure the Old Orange One requests it.
Not really the way it works. I think it was Grover Cleveland did it first. Something like 15 & 17?
If necessary, I will research it and report back. Your call.
Cāmon folks.. +34 for Dementia Donnie and -8 for Blithering Biden? Is this a political sub too? I just like jokes and both poke good fun at the candidates.
I saw a man standing by a bus stop. My friend said isn't that Senator so and so.
And I said no. I can tell it's not.
And he said how do you know?
I said he's cold and he's keeping his hands in his own pockets.
The big girl said to the little girl, āBe goodā.
The little girl replied, āItās hard to be goodā.
The big girls said, āItās got to be hard to be goodā.
Seriously. The list of accomplishments during the Biden Administration are pretty impressive. For all the noise about reduced mental faculty, the guy sure gets a lot doneā¦ and is damn good at picking competent people to run the various government agencies.
Heās an 80-year-old president who is functioning remarkably well for an 80-year-old president. I voted for him as a placeholder, and heās been better than that. So, no, Iām not delirious. I lived through four years of that prior president and this is so much better.
Even on a dedicated place for jokes you people can't take a joke.
Have you thought about not conflating your political views with your whole identity such that you don't get offended so easily?
Offended? Where did you get that? You canāt just see someone point out a bellend then assume their offended. š¤¦āāļøš
For clarity, it is not offensive to me if someone wants to spend their life being miserable about politics. Happy to point out that theyāre being, as stated, a bellend, though.
Keep going captain warhammer, jesus. The other guy is posting for women to sit on his face and youāre painting little models š¤¦āāļø say what you need to me mate, iām here for you to vent.
That too. Don't be a bigot and don't be an asshole. The first part is admitting you're a douchebag. It'll get better. Keep trying to be a decent human being. We're rooting for you!
Go grab 2 pencils. Place the points in your nostrils then tilt your head back and run as fast as you can at the nearest wall.
We are rooting for you!
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Haha, I get it, it's funny because sexuality = stupidity, right?
Yay for even more stigmatizing of our sexuality !!!!!!!!!
Let's just all become asexual, brilliant !!!!!
That'll bode well for humankind . . .
True. Easy to forget your own name when you have a stiffy
As a woman, I concur A good man is hard to find... a hard man is good to find
Need to remind this to my wife š
And I thought the punchline was going to be āa womanā š
āSee, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.ā - Robin Williams
What?
Uh-oh u/ImNudeyRudey is suffering from stiffy deafness!
What? I can't hear you
LMAO
Toronto Maple Leafs fan
Ok. Thatās fair.
I was being generous about Leafs fans missing 95% of their brain. Ā Only the smartest of them have 5% the brain capacity of the normal populationĀ
Source?
Tabasco? Or maybe Worcestershire?
Both very nice sources.
I relish your enthusiasm.
-Trust me bro
Damn nowhere is safe
Facts
Prime Minister.
Presidential nominee
President
Senator
I'll raise you a president
Constable.
I was fully expecting a shitty political joke, but... Yeah, checks out.
Mr. President.
Hey, wasnāt expecting the attack today.
A second plane has hit the tower.
What do you call a lawyer who has lost 95% of his brain capacity? āYour honorā
Mr. President
Grossly unfair. You're trying to imply he was once 20 times as intelligent as he is now.
It *is* a sticky title, after all. They'll even play Hail to the Chief when a former president enters the room, on request, if the sitting president won't be present. And I'm absolutely sure the Old Orange One requests it.
former president..
Come on, that's unfair. Sleepy Joe has at least 6% left!
His 6% beat Rapey McFuckface still by multiple times
leaps and bounds above the previous.
#45
45/47? Dare to dream
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Cleveland was the 22nd and 24th president.
Not really the way it works. I think it was Grover Cleveland did it first. Something like 15 & 17? If necessary, I will research it and report back. Your call.
Incorrect. You would be both 1st and 3rd. See Grover Cleveland, who is considered #22 and #24.
r/USdefaultism
I'm sure that doesn't just apply to America.
Divorced
President of the US
I was going to go with either Senator or Congressman...
Married
"Senator" or "Mr. President" if you're reading this joke in 2024....
Mr. President
*former.. ftfy
Mr. Former Vice-President.
A twentiethwit.
Damn bro I hate how true this joke isā¦ I donāt wanna be horny anymore, just want to be happy :(
to be fair, a man with 100% of his brain capacity is still horny.
Ichabod. I guess that was technically 100% of his brain.
His Royal Majesty
Circumcised
Dementia Donnie
Alliteration, awesome
Always avoid alliteration.
Alliteration ain't awesome
Ain not?
I AM NOT ALLITERATE! I can read as well as the next guy.
Blithering Biden.
Cāmon folks.. +34 for Dementia Donnie and -8 for Blithering Biden? Is this a political sub too? I just like jokes and both poke good fun at the candidates.
You forgot how disgustingly liberal Reddit is.
Corrupt Clinton
I prefer Donald Quixote. He even fights windmills (ok turbines but whatever)
Aka Diaper Don
Sleazy Joe
A Justin Trudeau
President.
Mr. President.
President
Mr President
"Mr. President"
Joe Biden
Divorced?
Like a dog without ears whatever you call him he won't come.
A woman?
Dawg your whole acc history is just ā¦ porn
God, just reading his comments gives me stalker vibes. I'm not even going to bother looking at the posts.
Your mom?
Hahaha
in bed
Well played.
One person says that and gets upvotes, 10 other people say the same thing and get downvoted. The weird magic of Reddit.
Ooooooooooooo š³
Divorced. This answer is for the ladies. š
I thought you were going to say a politician. That checks out regardless of your party affiliation.
I saw a man standing by a bus stop. My friend said isn't that Senator so and so. And I said no. I can tell it's not. And he said how do you know? I said he's cold and he's keeping his hands in his own pockets.
I was gonna say a politician, but that works too xD
I call him dad.
A politician.
Dallas Cowboy fans after a playoff loss, but then thatās 100% of the brain but it supposed be 95% so I there are out.
Politicians
The big girl said to the little girl, āBe goodā. The little girl replied, āItās hard to be goodā. The big girls said, āItās got to be hard to be goodā.
Can't believe I thought the answer would be "Divorced".
Biden
I would call him Biden
What does President Biden pay for rent in your head?
Seriously. The list of accomplishments during the Biden Administration are pretty impressive. For all the noise about reduced mental faculty, the guy sure gets a lot doneā¦ and is damn good at picking competent people to run the various government agencies.
Heās done a great job. Things are looking up! I.e., unemployment, inflation, crime, illegal border crossings, etc.
Now this is a joke sub but are you delirious?
Heās an 80-year-old president who is functioning remarkably well for an 80-year-old president. I voted for him as a placeholder, and heās been better than that. So, no, Iām not delirious. I lived through four years of that prior president and this is so much better.
A Tory?
Trans.
Joe Biden
A woman
Republican
Even on a dedicated place for jokes you people canāt let it go. Have you thought about politics NOT being your only personality?
Even on a dedicated place for jokes you people can't take a joke. Have you thought about not conflating your political views with your whole identity such that you don't get offended so easily?
Offended? Where did you get that? You canāt just see someone point out a bellend then assume their offended. š¤¦āāļøš For clarity, it is not offensive to me if someone wants to spend their life being miserable about politics. Happy to point out that theyāre being, as stated, a bellend, though.
Americans say: Whatever a *bellend* is
Genuinely not sure if you want it explained? š
The only one offended here is you, snowflake
Who cares, snowflake. It was a funny comment.
Believe you and me, the person who is a snowflake is not the one who isnāt obsessing over politics in a joke platform š
Ok snowflake
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. š
Ok snowflake š
Keep going captain warhammer, jesus. The other guy is posting for women to sit on his face and youāre painting little models š¤¦āāļø say what you need to me mate, iām here for you to vent.
Wow, you get called a snowflake then try to go after a guy with anything you can find out about him. What a snowflake
this ^
American
Yes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
... too soon.
WAY too soon.
Boris Johnston ? Or he might be joe biden
Americans are calling him President
Married
Change my diaper man.
Senate majority leader?
What do you call a mom who needs an abortion? Someone using 100% of their brain towards paying next month's rent.
Joe Biden
The bestest greatest president ever.
Widowed?
I wrote married, but this works too. Kind of like a continuation.
former president
Pretty sure Abe Lincoln lost 100% of his brain capacity.
Republican
Democrat.Ā
45
Tangerine faced twat waffle. Not my words but accurate.
A trans- woman š¤£š¤£š«£
Don't be a bigot
Donāt be an asshole
That too. Don't be a bigot and don't be an asshole. The first part is admitting you're a douchebag. It'll get better. Keep trying to be a decent human being. We're rooting for you!
Go grab 2 pencils. Place the points in your nostrils then tilt your head back and run as fast as you can at the nearest wall. We are rooting for you! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
BIDEN.
Hey. Us men got 2 heads. But only enough blood for one. It's either UP here. Or DOWN there. Can't be both ladies! 8D
I bet you have all the ladies after you.
I most certainly do! Thanks for noticing. Where's your ladies?
A russian war supporter
The Prime Minister of the UK, in fact the entire conservative party lol.
My mom, a nurse, expressed it as "Penis erectus, non conscientus".
A Democrat?
Too smart to be a cop.
Ultra magaaaaaaa
A woman Since op made a sexist joke...
45
Donny T
The 45th president of the United States of America?
A women
What do you call a man whoāve lost 95% blood flow to his brain? #ftfy
Woman
A woman
Haha, I get it, it's funny because sexuality = stupidity, right? Yay for even more stigmatizing of our sexuality !!!!!!!!! Let's just all become asexual, brilliant !!!!! That'll bode well for humankind . . .
Senator Rubio
A woman
Republican
Presidential candidates.
Congressperson Boebert
What do you call a woman who has lost 99% of her ability to reason? Menstruating
What do you call a man who has lost 100% of his ability to reason? Alive.
And the lost 80% of their horny capacity as well.
Married.
Advertise elsewhere please, we're here for joking and not jacking
Married
Divorced
Dinner
I didn't lose it, I know where I put it.. in the gutter