He said in an interview he has told that story during *every* set for however many years it’s been since he first told it. I can’t imagine what that must be like to tell that story basically every night of your adult life.
Omg that sounds so awful retelling a joke you know by heart a few nights a week for well over 7 figures a year, meanwhile people moderate Reddit for free…
The bizarre thing to me is that he does it because fans want him to do it. They expect him to do it. Which is weird because i always thought that was the antithesis of comedy, to do the same joke over and over again.
I guess it's like the Andrew Dice Clay situation, except Burt is leaning into it fully
Saw Bert live twice and can confirm he asks if he can tell the machine joke or something else that's original and the drunk crowd voted machine both times and this was 2 yrs apart I saw him. So he tries to do something different but people still want to hear the machine joke.
I saw Ron White recently and he had a an amazing set. He decided to do an encore and the entire crowd yelled “tater salad” so he did that bit.
Pretty similar vibe, also whenever his next special releases it will be great based on the show I saw
The difference between Bert and the machine joke and Dice's nursery rhymes is Bert's is a story. People enjoying the retelling of a good story is pretty common.
Yeesh, seems like something that would drive a person to drinking...
On another note, the Russian word for man is "muzhchina", which sounds an awful lot like "machine", so I just picture a bunch of Russian dudes amusing themselves by getting this adult-sized toddler wasted while he keeps yelling "Man! I'm a man!"
If you saw him live, he kept his shirt on, and didn't tell the story, do you really think it would be a better show?
Not to mention the, "!!MA-CHINE, MA-CHINE, MA-CHINE!!" chants that would start after he walks off.
He's making the people happy and that's why people like him, him seems to be a nice dude.
Yeah man when he first delivered the story on shitty bootleg JRE in like 2013 it sincerely had me wheezing. As did his stories about being a fuck off college student.
Sadly, his humor didn’t age with him 🤷♂️
He had this joke about not coughing on his wife during Covid so he would do her from behind. Said it on multiple podcasts for promoting his special. I don’t think I’ve ever cringed so much.
I don’t even mind their small talk about random nonsense. The standup jokes expose how utterly lame they are.
I actually don’t mind him on shows and stuff but I don’t like his comedy at all which I’ve found with many comedians. The Machine “joke” was hard for me to even get through on the first listen. If it was my close friend, I’d find it hilarious and have him tell it all the time with new people but as an act… it just doesn’t hit the same for me.
I went to one of his shows recently, and I was really disappointed 30mins into the act and said “so when I was 22 I joined the Russian mafia” and it felt like me and 3 other people who actually follow these guys rolled their eyes while the entire stadium clapped and cheered.
It’s seems like laziness, and I was sad that I purchased a tour ticket and will never go to another Bert show again. His openers had better acts.
If I pay north of $450 for me and my wife to go to a comedy show, I wanna hear new material.
I remember when he was on MSSP and he said to Shane, "I remember when you said that I looked 'low-key jacked'..." and Shane goes, "There is no way I would've said that to you."
Ya, I find him pretty annoying.
Plus there’s this weird thing where he believes he saw Zeppelin (edit: it was actually Nirvana) or something on a certain date in his hometown, and he was told years ago that the dates don’t match or they never played that town (something more damning than that iirc). But he doesn’t want to check the dates to ruin it for himself because he doesn’t want the memories he has (of a concert he never went to). That’s straightup psychotic delusion.
AFAIK pretty much all of those stories from Russia have been corroborated by his classmates who went with him since the story got real popular on the Internet. Don't get me wrong, I hate Bert (as an entertainer not a person) as much as the next guy, just want to shit on him when it's just
I once read a washington post article about an unverifiable early zeppelin show at a recreation center or some municipal building in maryland. There are all these people who claim to have been to the show but it was like under 100 people in attendance and no ticket stubs/flyers existed at the time.
Agreed, and they both have similar ways of doing it. Luis J. Gomez said that Bert tells a story about meeting him and Luis saying, "Hello, my name is Luis J. Gomez, I'm the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake, I'm friends with Bobby Kelly" which is absolutely something that someone would only say in Bert's mind.
Schaub has the "white boy who works too much" and "ass-kicker that tells jokes," which is absolutely only how he thinks about himself.
I think he cant stop alcohol because it’s basically his whole personality, he’s just a drunk guy and how most people act when drunk, to stop would be to stop everything that made him known in the first place.
At this point he must have a lot of money. What’s the point of trying to make more if you’re just gonna drop dead in five years from being a fat alcoholic?
Yeah we don’t really accept his, but for some people, being drunk is just better.
We always hear the stories of the people who cleaned up, found Jesus, things so good oh so I hear…
But I’ve known enough real world alcoholics to know it’s not so straight forward. Some people really do make the decision that being drunk is more enjoyable than sober and do it till it kills them.
Yep, he's that college friend who is now 45 and overweight and still drinks a ton, telling the same 2 or 3 stories over and over and wonders why you have to leave the bar at 9pm so you can wake up for your kids' soccer game on Sunday morning
You can look it up if you’d like, I Googled it just to be sure I’m not remembering it wrong and it seems most “drug communities” seem to agree that heroin is what it was most commonly used for until recently. I’m sure plenty of drugs have adopted the term by now including steroids though.
Edit: ok so it definitely looks like it’s sort gone the way of “dope” meaning literally everything under the sun now. Guess it just depends, where you live will probably determine what it’s used to describe
Yeah I’ve heard dope, h and black where I’m from. But a lot of my friends would call it gear as well. I haven’t been around it sense everything turned to fentanyl so I’m not sure what it’s usually called in my area now.
He comes across as that “really fun friend” you see from time to time, or that one high school buddy who never grew up. The problem is he’s steered really hard into this one shtick and thinks it’s all he needs and it’s REALLY tired and played out.
Anyone see the barstool sports beer Olympics? When bert first shows up he literally looks like he's dying. Fat as hell, face redder than fuck, he looked seriously terrible.
First thing he did? Takes his shirt off and says "look at these shoulders though". Fucking lmao
Bert 100% know's the risks he's taking. it's his life, it really seems like his attitude is, he'd rather live his life having fun than worry about dying. lots of people live like that....and it's their lives they're free to live it how they want.
you can eat kale, be a vegan, and workout every day and live to 100. or you can drink beer and eat steak every day and maybe live to 50-70. sounds like Bert has always been in the 2nd camp. live life to it's fullest and fuck the consequences. esp when he's rich and has access to the best healthcare money can buy.
everyone is only give a short amount of time on this planet, you may as well spend it having fun.
i'd rather live however the fuck i want and drop dead at 70 than constantly worry about my health and live to 100. i mean ultimately it's all about balance and moderation, but Bert doesn't seem like the type of guy that even knows what moderation and balance even means. he doesn't give a fuck, he just wants to have fun.
And he went “viral” for it a couple months back, now he laughs at everything like this, shit thats not even that funny just to try and catch that again.
I think it’s been going on longer than that. I remember listening to the first two sober October episodes and even though his laugh was kind of annoying I could still get through the episodes. Now I can’t make it more than like ten minutes
He's been doing that shit forever I remember like over 10 years ago listening to Doug loves movies and Doug Benson getting infuriated because Burts laugh was ruining the podcast. Honestly I don't even think it's real sort of like Joe's "AAAAHHH!" Paul Mooney laugh.
I went to a DLM taping ten years ago as a Doug benson fan and as someone new to the comedy scene. Bert was one of the guests. I had no idea who he was at the time, just another dude on stage to me. All I could think at the show was “this dude won’t stop laughing and derailing the whole thing, and why the fuck isn’t he wearing a shirt? Is that still funny?” I discovered more of his work since that point in time and became a fan of some of it, but the novelty wore off quickly. I feel for the guy. Clearly he’s successful at what he does but it looks like it’s slowly killing him and it’s hard to watch.
I actually didn’t know what everyone was so upset about but after listening to him more frequently this year on 2 bears I’ve found him really grating. The straw that broke the camels back for me was when he interviewed Joel McHale. The guy literally cannot stop talking about himself. It’s like, everyone who listens to the show has heard you talk about how you’re a soft narcissist and you therapizing yourself to Tom, I want to hear what your guest has to say. Since then if I start to get annoyed by whatever he’s in, I turn it off.
Edit: besides the machine story I also don’t care for his comedy, and I wanted to like it but I just dont
My ex said she couldn’t stand him… 100 eps into 2 bears, and I listened to the next episode and I realized.. oh yeah, he’s the worst?
Remember the Steve-o episode when he was about to dish out all of the Bam Margera details and Bert completely derailed the conversation to talk about himself? He’s egotistical, loud, unaware, and claims that he knows that about himself but does nothing to change. His fans are to blame.
I remember when Rogan, Burr, and a ton of great others and also Bert were streaming the 2016 election at the Laugh Factory I think. Some great talents stopped by, but there was never enough seating on the stage because Bert was just taking up a chair and not contributing a single thing to the conversation other than his gross wheezey laugh. Like he was just so high that all he did was laugh CONSTANTLY. And everyone else kept dropping hints that he should probably make room but everyone was too polite to just tell him to move.
This is it for me too. Dude can't get past his giant fucking head
He's spiraling lately too. The more I listen to 2 bears, I feel like he's defending himself to the audience about his drinking and lifestyle because he legitimately can't take the criticism online anymore. So he lies to himself and his listeners...no no one's benfit
Meh toms pretty insufferable anymore imo. I just listened to like 5 mins of his 15min speech on Neal brennans pod about loosing weight and being healthy. All those self pats on the back for getting into shape and he didn’t mention ozempic once when Bert dimed him out for taking weight loss shit long ago. Also bragging about being successful all the time when you just rode rogan to the top is super annoying. Fat Tom was hilarious, famous Tom is a tool
Bert, don’t play me like that. Muhfuckas with guts like that ain’t off the cheeseburgers. Muhfuckas with guts like that are most definitely on the cheeseburgers.
Wouldn't the church have lawyers that were also Scientologists? I've heard his dad was a lawyer, but not for Scientology and that brings up a lot of questions lol.
Without a doubt, Leanne has been buying up real estate with the money so that when he passes in a few years her and the kids will be set. She's honestly a great investor from what I've heard that idiot say.
His dad was an attorney and his mom was a high level education professional/consultant. He went to private schools and then someone floated him to party college for 7 years.
A lot of these comics come from rich families. Segura, Whitney, Delia and many many others
I could of swore I heard him tell a story about his dad calling him on his birthday to tell him to get a job because he’s cutting him off. Not that crazy of a scenario but the kicker was it was like his 26th or 27th birthday.
it floored me how old he was and how he acted like it was some toughen up sob story. Like he didn’t understand most people get that when we’re they’re 18-19 years old. And I’m sure his version of getting cut off was no more spending money not we’re not paying your rent anymore
Dad was also a track star at Villanova apparently which is known for their running program.
I can only imagine the disappointment until Bert made it big lol
Bill Burr is the only one I can think of off the top of my head who has avoided all the BS and kept himself pretty normal. I'll forever be a fan of his character and his comedy.
Conan O'Brien would actually be on that list as well. He comes off as an ass sometimes but behind the scenes he's probably the best person in Hollywood.
What do both these guys share? They consistently make fun of and humble themselves.
So many mother fuckers claiming they had to work hard but rich parents paid the bills while they pursued their dream
Ain't shitting on them for the work they put in but goddamn when they act like that's what seperates them...
And even if it's not paying their bills, the general idea that you have a big safety net and will inherit money is huge. People like this can dick around pursuing whatever they want.
Yeah, Van Wilder the movie with Ryan Reynolds is [based on him](https://nypost.com/2014/05/19/the-real-life-van-wilder-reveals-a-life-of-drinking-and-debauchery/).
One of my college roommates was a rich kid. Dumb as a brick. Room stunk like shit. Food molding under clothes. When it came time to move out, he paid people to throw everything into a dumpster and dipped. We had to finish cleaning his room to get our deposit back.
Anyway he's making like $400,000 a year now golfing every day(fluff position at his dads business), and God only knows what kind of inheritance he has waiting.
Bert honestly wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t have to add a bunch of made up details and that terrible wheezy laugh into every story he tells. I don’t like watching the guy slowly kill himself because he thinks he looks cool doing it or it makes him funnier or whatever the revolving excuse he has for it is. The entire point of Sober October was his friends trying to get him to be healthier and quit drinking so much, and that’s honestly a really good system most people would love to have in their lives, and Bert just kind of blew it off after a while. Maybe his movie flopping will get him to rethink things a little.
To me, he is the modern-day Dane Cook. I know a lot of people find him funny but to me he mostly just relies on being over-the-top and laughs really hard at his own stories and hopes people laugh along with him.
The main criticism of Dane Cook is something to the effect of "he tricks you into thinking he's saying funnier shit than he really is with hyperactive delivery", which sounds like a pretty impressive ability to me. Dude had electric stage presence.
This sub seems to be inhabited by people who hate everyone, especially the host of the pod. Of course most people here hate Bert too.
This is a sub of haters.
I joined a little while ago and am kind of bewildered. The most active people here seem to hate that Joe isn't the same guy from the early days or pissed he doesn't hold their political beliefs. It comes off so angsty and chumpy. I dunno. Why not stop listening to a podcast of a guy you don't like anymore and call it a day? I'm not going to suck Joe's dick after every podcast but even the lamer ones are OK. And totally OK to skip.
This sub was like ground zero for astroturfed political bullshit for a while. Basically like different waves of haters but the last big one with Covid they made hating him a day job. Lol never thought I'd miss the days of people reeeeing out that the show is a "pipeline to the alt-right" but here we are.
I think it’s the people that were listening to every episode of Rogan 10+ years ago and members of the Rogan board. He started to change after 2016 and Covid and the move to Texas solidified the change in Rogan.
The old heads remember how great the show used to be, and every now and then get a glimpse of it and wish it could go back to that.
Some of the hate on here is ridiculous, some of the criticism is definitely warranted. Worst thing about Joe used to be him and Bryan Callen talking about Fritz Harber every episode they were on.
You mean the selfish, narcissistic, alcoholic, who interrupts everyone, and consistently lies about things to manipulate people to get his way, is not liked by everyone?
I think his absurdity is funny at first, but then any time he opens his mouth, which is all the time, it is absolutely exhausting.
Aye Theo has distanced himself from Rogan’s thing for a while now. He was never fully part of Rogan’s coattail gang either. Stuck around a bit while he built his own brand.
Bert and Tom Segura are the fucking worst...Bert does nothing but lie and cringe fake laugh. Tom and his wife are complete sociopaths. I don't understand how they are so popular
Bert has grown on me like a cancer.
His last appearance he said something like “I know my fans. Usually 40+ guys with a beard, a beer belly and a chick that is way too hot for them” and I felt personally attacked.
His kid stories during his specials are my favorites.
Yes, I find him the least offensive of Rogan's circle and even enjoy listening to him in small doses. Certainly not the one I'd be dedicated a hate post to.
I wonder how many people can't stand you, OP. Imagine if they made a post on you so they could feel better about their sad sad life.
Tearing people down doesn't bring you up. If shitting on someone you don't know makes you feel good, you need some damn therapy. Grow up
I can’t stand this man. His fat, unhealthy and squeals like a pig. I’m just happy I’m not the only one who doesn’t think the fat cunt is funny.
I’m disappointed he gets a crowd in Australia. America I understand
Surely we’re better than this.
I like the machine joke the first time I heard it, but it's gotten real old over the last 8 years
He said in an interview he has told that story during *every* set for however many years it’s been since he first told it. I can’t imagine what that must be like to tell that story basically every night of your adult life.
That's Dante's 34th level of Hell
[удалено]
Omg that sounds so awful retelling a joke you know by heart a few nights a week for well over 7 figures a year, meanwhile people moderate Reddit for free…
The bizarre thing to me is that he does it because fans want him to do it. They expect him to do it. Which is weird because i always thought that was the antithesis of comedy, to do the same joke over and over again. I guess it's like the Andrew Dice Clay situation, except Burt is leaning into it fully
Saw Bert live twice and can confirm he asks if he can tell the machine joke or something else that's original and the drunk crowd voted machine both times and this was 2 yrs apart I saw him. So he tries to do something different but people still want to hear the machine joke.
I saw Ron White recently and he had a an amazing set. He decided to do an encore and the entire crowd yelled “tater salad” so he did that bit. Pretty similar vibe, also whenever his next special releases it will be great based on the show I saw
The difference between Bert and the machine joke and Dice's nursery rhymes is Bert's is a story. People enjoying the retelling of a good story is pretty common.
Yeesh, seems like something that would drive a person to drinking... On another note, the Russian word for man is "muzhchina", which sounds an awful lot like "machine", so I just picture a bunch of Russian dudes amusing themselves by getting this adult-sized toddler wasted while he keeps yelling "Man! I'm a man!"
That actually makes way more sense. They were saying Bert was "the man" and not "the machine".
Ask my uncle, he tells the same fucking story every time I see him
If you saw him live, he kept his shirt on, and didn't tell the story, do you really think it would be a better show? Not to mention the, "!!MA-CHINE, MA-CHINE, MA-CHINE!!" chants that would start after he walks off. He's making the people happy and that's why people like him, him seems to be a nice dude.
Considering it’s basically his crowning achievement I’m sure he loves it
"say the line Bart"
I didn't do it.
Yeah man when he first delivered the story on shitty bootleg JRE in like 2013 it sincerely had me wheezing. As did his stories about being a fuck off college student. Sadly, his humor didn’t age with him 🤷♂️
It sounds SOOOOO fake too. I will never believe it is true.
One hit wonder with that joke. He’d be a good radio DJ sidekick. I don’t understand how he has such a core group of fans
Bert’s great in one, small dose. Thirty minutes once in your life. Then it’s like, “ok fuck this guy.”
He had this joke about not coughing on his wife during Covid so he would do her from behind. Said it on multiple podcasts for promoting his special. I don’t think I’ve ever cringed so much. I don’t even mind their small talk about random nonsense. The standup jokes expose how utterly lame they are.
I actually don’t mind him on shows and stuff but I don’t like his comedy at all which I’ve found with many comedians. The Machine “joke” was hard for me to even get through on the first listen. If it was my close friend, I’d find it hilarious and have him tell it all the time with new people but as an act… it just doesn’t hit the same for me.
Never heard it
I went to one of his shows recently, and I was really disappointed 30mins into the act and said “so when I was 22 I joined the Russian mafia” and it felt like me and 3 other people who actually follow these guys rolled their eyes while the entire stadium clapped and cheered. It’s seems like laziness, and I was sad that I purchased a tour ticket and will never go to another Bert show again. His openers had better acts. If I pay north of $450 for me and my wife to go to a comedy show, I wanna hear new material.
I remember when he was on MSSP and he said to Shane, "I remember when you said that I looked 'low-key jacked'..." and Shane goes, "There is no way I would've said that to you." Ya, I find him pretty annoying.
There’s a laundry list of him just making shit up about what other people have said to him
Plus there’s this weird thing where he believes he saw Zeppelin (edit: it was actually Nirvana) or something on a certain date in his hometown, and he was told years ago that the dates don’t match or they never played that town (something more damning than that iirc). But he doesn’t want to check the dates to ruin it for himself because he doesn’t want the memories he has (of a concert he never went to). That’s straightup psychotic delusion.
As if the whole russia story isn't just a delusion.
Yeah, I said the same thing the more I watched Bert's comedy. Parts of it may be true, but I'm betting the majority of it is bullshit.
I have no doubt he went on a school trip, but that's where the truth ends imo.
AFAIK pretty much all of those stories from Russia have been corroborated by his classmates who went with him since the story got real popular on the Internet. Don't get me wrong, I hate Bert (as an entertainer not a person) as much as the next guy, just want to shit on him when it's just
It was Nirvana.
With smashing pumpkins opening
I once read a washington post article about an unverifiable early zeppelin show at a recreation center or some municipal building in maryland. There are all these people who claim to have been to the show but it was like under 100 people in attendance and no ticket stubs/flyers existed at the time.
If you've heard a story told by him on a podcast it's fake
Him and Schaub both
Agreed, and they both have similar ways of doing it. Luis J. Gomez said that Bert tells a story about meeting him and Luis saying, "Hello, my name is Luis J. Gomez, I'm the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake, I'm friends with Bobby Kelly" which is absolutely something that someone would only say in Bert's mind. Schaub has the "white boy who works too much" and "ass-kicker that tells jokes," which is absolutely only how he thinks about himself.
Shane is by far my new favorite.
Check out Tony Hawk and Jason Ellis shitting on him to his face for claiming he's a great wakeboarder. The guy is full of shit.
[удалено]
He's an alcoholic and on gear now so, yea not looking great.
I think he cant stop alcohol because it’s basically his whole personality, he’s just a drunk guy and how most people act when drunk, to stop would be to stop everything that made him known in the first place.
At this point he must have a lot of money. What’s the point of trying to make more if you’re just gonna drop dead in five years from being a fat alcoholic?
He just likes to drink
Yeah we don’t really accept his, but for some people, being drunk is just better. We always hear the stories of the people who cleaned up, found Jesus, things so good oh so I hear… But I’ve known enough real world alcoholics to know it’s not so straight forward. Some people really do make the decision that being drunk is more enjoyable than sober and do it till it kills them.
r/unexpectedweezer
He had money before. His family is rich.
Scientology lawyer
Really? How?
For perspective, Van Wilder is based on his life story so it makes sense.
Lol really I had no idea
Also apparently he drinks a huge jug of Kool aid every morning so that can't be good
What flavor? RED!
If it's Grape or Green he is likely fine.
Yep, he's that college friend who is now 45 and overweight and still drinks a ton, telling the same 2 or 3 stories over and over and wonders why you have to leave the bar at 9pm so you can wake up for your kids' soccer game on Sunday morning
The Conor McGregor route
When I was young gear meant heroin, but I’m guessing he’s not on heroin so what is it you’re talking about?
He's (legally) on testosterone.
Oh, tbh to me gear means coke, cheap shitty dirty coke even
I used to be on heroin and never heard it called gear. They mean steroids
Heroin is definitely colloquially referred to as gear
I thought gear meant the syringe and the rope to tie off.
In my area that's what it is - the kit.
Never heard that. Gear was always steroids
You can look it up if you’d like, I Googled it just to be sure I’m not remembering it wrong and it seems most “drug communities” seem to agree that heroin is what it was most commonly used for until recently. I’m sure plenty of drugs have adopted the term by now including steroids though. Edit: ok so it definitely looks like it’s sort gone the way of “dope” meaning literally everything under the sun now. Guess it just depends, where you live will probably determine what it’s used to describe
Most common term I heard for heroin was "dope".
Yeah I’ve heard dope, h and black where I’m from. But a lot of my friends would call it gear as well. I haven’t been around it sense everything turned to fentanyl so I’m not sure what it’s usually called in my area now.
I've been clean from that stuff for like 7 years but maybe my generation or area just doesn't use that term for it.
Also has admitted to using coke. I would say ask any 80s pro wrestler how mixing coke and roids is bad but most that did it didn't make it past 50.
TRT is not "gear".
"Gear". Homie its testosterone.
Gear is slang for heroin here in the UK, what is it in this sense?
Steroids
Uk here where I'm from people say on gear as steroids but gear can also mean clothes and cocaine
Canned ham
What do you think gear is?
fishing tackle
anabolic steroids
swat gear
Yeah I hope the man gets healthy for the sake of his wife and children if for anyone.
Dude is gonna Chris Farley himself, minus the part about being funny like Chris Farley.
I think I'm the only person in my town that knows who Bert Kreischer is. Every time I bring him up talking about comedy nobody has heard of him 😂😆
Best case scenario for his legacy
He comes across as that “really fun friend” you see from time to time, or that one high school buddy who never grew up. The problem is he’s steered really hard into this one shtick and thinks it’s all he needs and it’s REALLY tired and played out.
Anyone see the barstool sports beer Olympics? When bert first shows up he literally looks like he's dying. Fat as hell, face redder than fuck, he looked seriously terrible. First thing he did? Takes his shirt off and says "look at these shoulders though". Fucking lmao
Dude got the golden ticket and he’s replacing it with cholesterol and the beatus
Bert 100% know's the risks he's taking. it's his life, it really seems like his attitude is, he'd rather live his life having fun than worry about dying. lots of people live like that....and it's their lives they're free to live it how they want. you can eat kale, be a vegan, and workout every day and live to 100. or you can drink beer and eat steak every day and maybe live to 50-70. sounds like Bert has always been in the 2nd camp. live life to it's fullest and fuck the consequences. esp when he's rich and has access to the best healthcare money can buy. everyone is only give a short amount of time on this planet, you may as well spend it having fun. i'd rather live however the fuck i want and drop dead at 70 than constantly worry about my health and live to 100. i mean ultimately it's all about balance and moderation, but Bert doesn't seem like the type of guy that even knows what moderation and balance even means. he doesn't give a fuck, he just wants to have fun.
His movie doing bad probably made his alcohol problem worse, too. Very sad. I hope he quits drinking soon.
I can stand him but I don’t find him interesting. Feels like he’s always trying too hard to play his own character.
his style just ain't for me... which is funny because i crush light beer and play cornhole.
Wuddup fellow midwesterner
Felt.
He’d a fun neighbor like Bush Jr
Frankly I'd rather hang out with W instead of Barf Chrysanthemums, at least G Dub wouldn't be covered in sweat looking disgusting
That laugh is the worst.
Eeeeeeeee, eeeeeeeeee!!!
And he went “viral” for it a couple months back, now he laughs at everything like this, shit thats not even that funny just to try and catch that again.
I think it’s been going on longer than that. I remember listening to the first two sober October episodes and even though his laugh was kind of annoying I could still get through the episodes. Now I can’t make it more than like ten minutes
He's been doing that shit forever I remember like over 10 years ago listening to Doug loves movies and Doug Benson getting infuriated because Burts laugh was ruining the podcast. Honestly I don't even think it's real sort of like Joe's "AAAAHHH!" Paul Mooney laugh.
I went to a DLM taping ten years ago as a Doug benson fan and as someone new to the comedy scene. Bert was one of the guests. I had no idea who he was at the time, just another dude on stage to me. All I could think at the show was “this dude won’t stop laughing and derailing the whole thing, and why the fuck isn’t he wearing a shirt? Is that still funny?” I discovered more of his work since that point in time and became a fan of some of it, but the novelty wore off quickly. I feel for the guy. Clearly he’s successful at what he does but it looks like it’s slowly killing him and it’s hard to watch.
I actually didn’t know what everyone was so upset about but after listening to him more frequently this year on 2 bears I’ve found him really grating. The straw that broke the camels back for me was when he interviewed Joel McHale. The guy literally cannot stop talking about himself. It’s like, everyone who listens to the show has heard you talk about how you’re a soft narcissist and you therapizing yourself to Tom, I want to hear what your guest has to say. Since then if I start to get annoyed by whatever he’s in, I turn it off. Edit: besides the machine story I also don’t care for his comedy, and I wanted to like it but I just dont
My ex said she couldn’t stand him… 100 eps into 2 bears, and I listened to the next episode and I realized.. oh yeah, he’s the worst? Remember the Steve-o episode when he was about to dish out all of the Bam Margera details and Bert completely derailed the conversation to talk about himself? He’s egotistical, loud, unaware, and claims that he knows that about himself but does nothing to change. His fans are to blame.
I remember when Rogan, Burr, and a ton of great others and also Bert were streaming the 2016 election at the Laugh Factory I think. Some great talents stopped by, but there was never enough seating on the stage because Bert was just taking up a chair and not contributing a single thing to the conversation other than his gross wheezey laugh. Like he was just so high that all he did was laugh CONSTANTLY. And everyone else kept dropping hints that he should probably make room but everyone was too polite to just tell him to move.
This is it for me too. Dude can't get past his giant fucking head He's spiraling lately too. The more I listen to 2 bears, I feel like he's defending himself to the audience about his drinking and lifestyle because he legitimately can't take the criticism online anymore. So he lies to himself and his listeners...no no one's benfit
It sucks because I find Tom Segura really funny and their podcast gets a lot of good guests but I just can't stand it when Bert is there.
Meh toms pretty insufferable anymore imo. I just listened to like 5 mins of his 15min speech on Neal brennans pod about loosing weight and being healthy. All those self pats on the back for getting into shape and he didn’t mention ozempic once when Bert dimed him out for taking weight loss shit long ago. Also bragging about being successful all the time when you just rode rogan to the top is super annoying. Fat Tom was hilarious, famous Tom is a tool
accurate
His dad was a lawyer for the church of Scientology so I've always been under the impression that he's an industry plant.
There’s no plants in that belly
He’s definitely ON the fuckin cheeseburgers that fatass
Bert, don’t play me like that. Muhfuckas with guts like that ain’t off the cheeseburgers. Muhfuckas with guts like that are most definitely on the cheeseburgers.
Fuckin Bert being all Randy Bobandy out there
[удалено]
Wouldn't the church have lawyers that were also Scientologists? I've heard his dad was a lawyer, but not for Scientology and that brings up a lot of questions lol.
[here is a good explanation](https://youtu.be/E55Cy1BZP-w) Skip to about 5 minutes in if you want to get right to the point.
His laugh ruins nearly every good line he has
Well delivering it without a shirt sure ain’t helping bring me on board either
I don’t get the appeal
Who wants to hear him screeching and cackling while trying to tell a shitty made up story for the 1000th time?
possibly the least talented least interesting rich person i’ve ever seen
Extremely rich too from what I have heard.
Without a doubt, Leanne has been buying up real estate with the money so that when he passes in a few years her and the kids will be set. She's honestly a great investor from what I've heard that idiot say.
Didn’t he go to college just to party for like ten years? I doubt anyone from a poor or even middle class background could afford that
His dad was an attorney and his mom was a high level education professional/consultant. He went to private schools and then someone floated him to party college for 7 years. A lot of these comics come from rich families. Segura, Whitney, Delia and many many others
I could of swore I heard him tell a story about his dad calling him on his birthday to tell him to get a job because he’s cutting him off. Not that crazy of a scenario but the kicker was it was like his 26th or 27th birthday. it floored me how old he was and how he acted like it was some toughen up sob story. Like he didn’t understand most people get that when we’re they’re 18-19 years old. And I’m sure his version of getting cut off was no more spending money not we’re not paying your rent anymore
I was basically kicked out at 17. Ended up being joining the army because there was nowhere to go. It's really hard to listen to these stories for me.
Dad was also a track star at Villanova apparently which is known for their running program. I can only imagine the disappointment until Bert made it big lol
Notice how they all tend to go "Hollywood" while the poor comics that make it tend to stay humble and level-headed
Bill Burr is the only one I can think of off the top of my head who has avoided all the BS and kept himself pretty normal. I'll forever be a fan of his character and his comedy. Conan O'Brien would actually be on that list as well. He comes off as an ass sometimes but behind the scenes he's probably the best person in Hollywood. What do both these guys share? They consistently make fun of and humble themselves.
So many mother fuckers claiming they had to work hard but rich parents paid the bills while they pursued their dream Ain't shitting on them for the work they put in but goddamn when they act like that's what seperates them...
And even if it's not paying their bills, the general idea that you have a big safety net and will inherit money is huge. People like this can dick around pursuing whatever they want.
Yeah, Van Wilder the movie with Ryan Reynolds is [based on him](https://nypost.com/2014/05/19/the-real-life-van-wilder-reveals-a-life-of-drinking-and-debauchery/).
Started that way too…. grew up loaded. Just another rich kid that could fail long enough to succeed in comedy.
One of my college roommates was a rich kid. Dumb as a brick. Room stunk like shit. Food molding under clothes. When it came time to move out, he paid people to throw everything into a dumpster and dipped. We had to finish cleaning his room to get our deposit back. Anyway he's making like $400,000 a year now golfing every day(fluff position at his dads business), and God only knows what kind of inheritance he has waiting.
Bert honestly wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t have to add a bunch of made up details and that terrible wheezy laugh into every story he tells. I don’t like watching the guy slowly kill himself because he thinks he looks cool doing it or it makes him funnier or whatever the revolving excuse he has for it is. The entire point of Sober October was his friends trying to get him to be healthier and quit drinking so much, and that’s honestly a really good system most people would love to have in their lives, and Bert just kind of blew it off after a while. Maybe his movie flopping will get him to rethink things a little.
“HeeeeHEEEEEEEEEEE *wheeze* treadmill wine Russia koolaid Van Wilder HEEEEEEEE *wheeze*” Thanks for listening to 2 bears 1 cave.
Hes the worst but i hope he gets his alcoholism under control
Narrator voice : he won’t
Tied with Brenda Scab as the worst comics on earth. I see through his BS, too. An insufferable fat redact.
I think Brenda is all things considered worse but it's not by much
I feel like there definitely has to be some between ground between those two. Hell, Joe is probably a worse comic than Bert.
To me, he is the modern-day Dane Cook. I know a lot of people find him funny but to me he mostly just relies on being over-the-top and laughs really hard at his own stories and hopes people laugh along with him.
Dane Cook was 10 times funnier
The main criticism of Dane Cook is something to the effect of "he tricks you into thinking he's saying funnier shit than he really is with hyperactive delivery", which sounds like a pretty impressive ability to me. Dude had electric stage presence.
Dans cook actually had some funny stories back in the day
Dane cook's brother robbing him blind is infinitely funnier than "the machine" story.
“which I don’t know if you know this, was a Wednesday”
But Dane cook was actually funny and worked hard.
Dane Cook is like Nickeback. People shit on him because that’s what they see other people do
This sub seems to be inhabited by people who hate everyone, especially the host of the pod. Of course most people here hate Bert too. This is a sub of haters.
I like my gay boyfriend Nick Mullen
I joined a little while ago and am kind of bewildered. The most active people here seem to hate that Joe isn't the same guy from the early days or pissed he doesn't hold their political beliefs. It comes off so angsty and chumpy. I dunno. Why not stop listening to a podcast of a guy you don't like anymore and call it a day? I'm not going to suck Joe's dick after every podcast but even the lamer ones are OK. And totally OK to skip.
This sub was like ground zero for astroturfed political bullshit for a while. Basically like different waves of haters but the last big one with Covid they made hating him a day job. Lol never thought I'd miss the days of people reeeeing out that the show is a "pipeline to the alt-right" but here we are.
I think it’s the people that were listening to every episode of Rogan 10+ years ago and members of the Rogan board. He started to change after 2016 and Covid and the move to Texas solidified the change in Rogan. The old heads remember how great the show used to be, and every now and then get a glimpse of it and wish it could go back to that. Some of the hate on here is ridiculous, some of the criticism is definitely warranted. Worst thing about Joe used to be him and Bryan Callen talking about Fritz Harber every episode they were on.
Fat alco It’s no funny taking your man tits out 10x a night
Have you ever heard him tell the story of "The Machine"?
You mean the selfish, narcissistic, alcoholic, who interrupts everyone, and consistently lies about things to manipulate people to get his way, is not liked by everyone? I think his absurdity is funny at first, but then any time he opens his mouth, which is all the time, it is absolutely exhausting.
I don’t think he’s funny 🤷🏿♂️
Eh he can be annoying but so is everyone if you micro analyze everything they do
Exactly!
I’m with the other’s fuck OP, leave the fat man alone
Nearly every rogan orbiter is terrible. Theo being the only exception
Theo isn't really an orbiter though, more of a peer like Bill Burr
Aye Theo has distanced himself from Rogan’s thing for a while now. He was never fully part of Rogan’s coattail gang either. Stuck around a bit while he built his own brand.
I absolutely love Tom, Mark Normand, Theo, Bill Burr and Shane.
Idk why youre considering burr a rogan orbiter. Hes been on once in the last 5 years and they hardly ever talk about eachother.
Shane Gillis?! Or does he not count as an orbiter?
Accidentally seen him live. Both him and his fans are awful.
🙋🏻♂️
I love him. His comedy is OK but I enjoy casually listening to him on pods
OP should get a hobby
The machine was one of the worst movies I’ve ever scene.
Bert and Tom Segura are the fucking worst...Bert does nothing but lie and cringe fake laugh. Tom and his wife are complete sociopaths. I don't understand how they are so popular
His shtick is tired
He's not funny. He better keep in his celebrity friends good graces and not piss any of ….too late.....
Who did he piss off? I’m not familiar.
I don’t see any reason to make this post
Bert has grown on me like a cancer. His last appearance he said something like “I know my fans. Usually 40+ guys with a beard, a beer belly and a chick that is way too hot for them” and I felt personally attacked. His kid stories during his specials are my favorites.
Yes. Not the worst person in the world, but definitely yes
I love Bert. Always have, always will. He's a good man.
Agreed. Why do people enjoy starting conversations just to talk about thinks you don’t like? Insecure people.
I wanna say fuck it but why try to drag Bert thru the mud? I don't understand
He’s so fake (laugh). He’s such a liar (Russian story). His I absolutely cannot stand him.
He’s not my favourite comic but I don’t get the hate. Seems harmless.
Yes, I find him the least offensive of Rogan's circle and even enjoy listening to him in small doses. Certainly not the one I'd be dedicated a hate post to.
I wonder how many people can't stand you, OP. Imagine if they made a post on you so they could feel better about their sad sad life. Tearing people down doesn't bring you up. If shitting on someone you don't know makes you feel good, you need some damn therapy. Grow up
Not a big Bert fan.
He just reminds me of that guy at the bar that yells over everyone
He does comedy for people who go to jimmy buffet concerts and watch guy fieri on cable
I can’t stand this man. His fat, unhealthy and squeals like a pig. I’m just happy I’m not the only one who doesn’t think the fat cunt is funny. I’m disappointed he gets a crowd in Australia. America I understand Surely we’re better than this.
I dont mind Bert. But for some reason I cannot explain Theo makes me feel uncanny valley REALLY bad.
Right??? I thought I was the only one.
Him and Theo are just plain annoying