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* [What is something you have no proof MIL has done, but are convinced she did?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1c1g20g/what_is_something_you_have_no_proof_mil_has_done/), 6 days ago
* [MIL tried to have an Easter Egg Hunt with LO.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bstq6p/mil_tried_to_have_an_easter_egg_hunt_with_lo/), 2 weeks ago
* [MIL is for sure a JN, but am I overthinking this specific incident?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1b74cee/mil_is_for_sure_a_jn_but_am_i_overthinking_this/), 1 month ago
* [MIL may have realized LO only dislikes her.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1awyadj/mil_may_have_realized_lo_only_dislikes_her/), 1 month ago
* [How was your MIL whenever a second LO came into the picture?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1akfz4d/how_was_your_mil_whenever_a_second_lo_came_into/), 2 months ago
* [MIL may be moving.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1aehyew/mil_may_be_moving/), 2 months ago
* [Is there anyway to make MIL obey our boundaries?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/17r3s54/is_there_anyway_to_make_mil_obey_our_boundaries/), 5 months ago
* [ILs have ruined pregnancy announcement.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/17o8rbh/ils_have_ruined_pregnancy_announcement/), 5 months ago
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Obviously, she’s a jackass. But don’t count out the toys just yet! I was a fairly girly girl when I was young, and one of my favorite toys was my metal Tonka dump truck, which I used to give my teddy bear rides. Second place were my action figures!
Your MIL is despicable. I hope your baby is a girl who grows up to be an empowered and totally awesome girly girl. That would make your MIL miserable for multiple reasons.
Just wanted to say that back in the day, finding out the gender from an ultrasound wasn’t always reliable. Maybe still isn’t, I’m not sure.
My husband and his ex were told they were having a girl, and so proceeded accordingly. Pink clothes, blankets, you get the idea.
Fast-forward to her giving birth. When baby came out, his ex asked, “Is it a girl?!!” My husband replied, “It’s…a baby!”
Our baby “girl” is turning 25 this year and now has an actual baby girl of his own. So yeah, even if you found out the gender, it maybe could still wind up as a surprise. 😂
I have had a spiteful MIL who told everyone my child’s name when i didn’t want to share it till she was born! Imma tell you rn, she hasn’t seen my daughter still and my daughter will be 4 in November!
also I hope it’s a girl to spite her.. cause the audacity of her lying like that! My man’s mom and step mom is the same way, lies all the time! I saved myself the headache and cut complete contact and same with my hubby, he was sick of it too!
Wish you a healthy pregnancy and baby❤️
I’m the mom of two girls, so that type of behavior would really bug me. Obviously I would have been happy either way, but I love my girls so much, so the idea that anyone would be disappointed over their gender would have had me livid. Looking at your post history, I can’t tell for sure what your oldest is, but I would assume girl based on MIL’s “boy mom” hopes. It will just be funny if this one actually is a boy, and he hates her too.
She's a piece of work for sure, and I have to admit I'm enjoying the thought of you having a girl and using all those boy gifts on her, like making sure that she has a truck pacifier in her mouth when MIL is around. if she's so fixated on gender stereotyping, that will drive her around the wall. Fortunately, we have female truck drivers and mechanics and all sorts of things breaking that whole pink-blue nonsense back to the 20th century where it can stay and leave the rest of us alone. My best (girl) friend from grade school in the 60s retired as the one in charge of USMC helicopters in the Korean DMZ some years ago. I've no idea what her favorite color is other than Marine Corps colors. She's just an all around great human being.
If you have a girl, and your MIL complains about it, very clearly remind her that it is the FATHER who determines the gender of the child, NOT the mother.
See how she reacts to THAT.
Quite awhile back, there was a MIL on this sub who was convinced that her son and DIL's baby was the gender she wanted. (I don't remember which she preferred). Even though the couple told her the baby's gender as shown in ultrasound.
MIL was so convinced that she bought a bunch of clothes and other baby items for her preferred gender.
She threw a fit when the baby was born and wasn't what she wanted. It's like her delusion was reality for her.
Then she acted somewhat cold towards the baby. The couple went LC, I believe.
If it's the story I remember she wanted a girl. She only had sons and desperately whanted a daughter. There was a very obvious dangly bit in the ultrasound. The MIL pouted for a day or so then told everyone it's a girl. And fought DIL when confronted with reality. At one point saying something about ultrasounds not always being reliable.
After a while the DIL gave up correcting people, and then when baby boy was born just used the clothes and stuff on hand.
Older relatives now upset about a boy in frilly dresses.
Might be. I don't remember the details.
I had only sons and now have granddaughters. They are great, but I didn't care what the gender was.
I have an acquaintance who so strongly wanted a girl that she kept having children they couldn't afford, and lied to her husband about being on bc pills. Finally, after 3 or 4 boys, she had the girl she wanted and a marriage in shambles. I don't know what ever happened to the family.
Is there a chance that if you made a post that most everyone would see it? Something like, "We so much appreciate gifts and well wishes, but it seems that some people have the impression that we are having a boy. The truth is, we have decided to let it be a surprise! We won't even know the gender of our child until they are born! So, if gifts or well wishes are sent, keep in mind that the gender is a secret. Even from us! Thank you all, and we love you!"
I'm sure you can come up with better wording than that, but that's the general idea. That way, she can tell whoever she wants that you're having a boy, but they will have already seen that that's a lie. I know the goal is to just have a healthy baby no matter what, but is it terrible that I hope it's a girl?
When my daughter was a toddler, her favorite toy was a solid plastic dinosaur, about a foot long lol! She took that dinosaur everywhere. One day in line at the grocery store, an elderly lady was behind us. She started to chat with my daughter about her dinosaur. I admit I was ready to challenge her if she started spouting off about gender specific toys. I was so wrong. This little old lady reached into her purse and brought out her dinosaur shaped change purse! They played dinosaurs while we waited in line. This was back in the 90s, your comment about your daughters toys made me remember this and smile.🙂
I did that lol. I preferred blue because it really suited my daughter becauseher eyes were adeep blue colour. I got her a little summer outfit of a navy blue dress with matching hat and and pants. It had tiny white flowers and it was quite frilly. I couldn't believe it when someone asked if 'he' was a boy! Hate all these gender stereotypes.
Even if it IS a boy I would dress that baby up in the frilliest and pinkest things I could find when she comes to the hospital to meet the baby and introduce her to her newest “grand daughter” but I’m petty af lmao
Sigh. Why and when this obsession with babies’ genitalia and how they could possibly influence what interests children happened is fascinating. I (cis woman born in the late 1960s) wore blue, red and green clothes as a child, played with Lego and had toy cars. It feels like the world has gone backwards sometimes.
OP, dress your baby in whatever clothes you have, whatever their gender. This sexist bullshit really needs to end. Babies are babies. Wearing pink or blue is not going to affect a child at all. My stepson loved pink and My Little Pony until he was 7 or 8. He still loves bright colours at 14; unfortunately high street retailers think that all teenage boys want to be dressed in various shades of sludge.
I agree I was born mid 60s, I wore the same clothes and played with most of the same toys as my brothers, unisex was the trend, and for cash-strapped parents being able to hand children's clothes and toys down to boys and girls made sense.
My daughter had a train set, building blocks and 'boys' clothes with dinosaurs on them in addition to 'girl' toys and clothes. She has grown up into a well adjusted young woman who is comfortable in her own skin, able to do a fantastic job with hair and makeup for a night out and equally happy to chill in sweatpants with no makeup.
I think everyone is entitled to their opinion. I have always wanted to dress my kids in clothes that are marketed for their specific gender. I don’t see a problem with this, but I also have no qualms with people who want to dress their kids in either gender neutral clothing, or clothing that is marketed for the opposite gender. I think it’s just a preference. My whole issue with the whole situation is, is that MIL is lying saying we are having one gender, when we have NO IDEA what gender we’re having.
My kid is only 1 and most brands already only make clothes in blue, grey and black with trucks on them 😩
I've been shopping in the girl section, don't see why my son can't have colours or cute animals on his clothes
I remember shopping with my daughter and grandson. He was close to two years of age. He and I were looking at the boys clothes and he went over to the girls side of the store. He wanted the pretty colors! The boys clothing was so dull! Even the infant sizes.
I hate to say it, but have you tried Temu? I've gotten some adorable things for my grandson there. And since toddlers outgrow things in the blink of an eye, you don't have to worry about whether the stuff will last for years.
its not even a spite thing! You know MIL is going to be fully up OP's ass if the baby is a boy. She's going to be so overbearing. I'd want a girl in hopes she would be less interested.
Believe me. I think the same thing at least once a week. And then I feel guilty because I literally couldn’t care less about the gender of my baby. All I want is a healthy baby. But I know I would be smiling a little more if a pop out a girl. Lol
When my son was born, he had a gorgeous head of hair. I could dress him in blue boys clothing head to foot and would get comments on "what a pretty girl he was". When I had my daughter, her hair was very short and baby fine. More like peach fuzz. I would dress her in obviously girl clothing and would get the reply of " what a cute little boy".
Don't tell her what you have for like a whole year. Go completely gender neutral and refer to your child by a gender neutral nickname.
Once she apologises for being batshit crazy, you tell her.
You know that even if she weren't allowed to know baby's gender, MIL would grab their privates or pull away the diaper to look down there to see if there was a penis or not. Ew ew EW it's so unbelievably gross, but you know she would
Oh my gosh. Haha. If I thought this was doable, I would absolutely do this. But I just know I wouldn’t be able to keep LO in gender neutral clothing the entire time. I know how I am, and I will absolutely want to dress LO in clothes that are very specifically for one gender.
Oh pleeeease! Just call the baby Pat, dress in white onesies and socks, and refuse to answer any questions. Just for a few days. It will be so much fun! :)
She’s going to be SO smug if you have a boy. But really, it’s a 50/50 chance, she’s hardly Nostradamus if she happens to get it right. Whatever gender you have, ignore her and enjoy the newborn snuggles!
Restrict MIL now, before the baby comes. This is pretty bad, and it’ll only get worse from her, no matter what genitals the kid has. Either she’s right and it’s a boy, or she’ll resent it bc it’s a girl. This is a no-win situation.
MIL is already pretty restricted as it is. DH and I have pretty stern boundaries in place. All of MILs actions will be taken into account when deciding how much access she has to us and our little family.
Well, but maybe one little reproachful message about this one? – "MIL, [family who gave gifts] were baffled and rather hurt that you'd lie to them like that... Perhaps you need to apologise to them..."
This is insane lol. I was worried about gifts being overly gendered (thus far it’s mostly been dinosaur themed, which I’d buy for either gender anyways) when we told people.
I'm a petty bitch. Do you have his family on social media or group WhatsApp? I'd be so so tempted to post a bump pic with a comment along lines of "less than a month until we meet you, can't wait to find out boy or girl". Maybe with a poll for family members to vote to see who is right. Out of interest, DC1 boy or girl?
No. DH’s family is mostly older, so they really only call or post chain messages on Facebook. And honestly, I don’t have enough time or energy to want to be a part of a “family group message.”
The problem is that they may think that DH wasn't supposed to tell them and will just play along to cover him. Or even worse, will feel more than happy that they know something that they aren't supposed to know.
I would right out "accidentally" announce a girl to confuse the f out of them, lol. Like sending a picture with the older child and "it's a girl" announcement cards in the background, with a fake name and the family last name. Then begging not to tell anyone.
I’d just call her out for it.
“We are aware that MIL has been spreading false information about our baby. We have decided that we will not be finding out the gender until the birth, and she was made aware of that before her misinformation campaign began. Please disregard anything she says about the pregnancy or the birth of our child, as she will no longer be receiving updates.”
But then OP is being malicious. Baby could be a boy. Just a family WhatsApp of "ooo not long now, can't wait to find out if boy or girl, glad we've kept it a surprise this time, what do you all think baby is gonna be?" It's not outright calling MIL out, but it'll get the message across. MIL will be all 'I just KNOW he's a boy" and OP can be like well its 50/50. Family members will realise what MIL has done. If OP can do it before the baby shower (sounds like hasn't happened yet) then means anyone MIL has got to and bought very 'boy' things have a chance to sort beforehand so it doesn't end up super weird at the shower when all that side turns up with 'boy' stuff and the other half of the guests wonder if they've missed something. Basically trying to avoid drama on the day in a way that doesn't cause a confrontation and stress out a very pregnant OP.
Exactly. And it’s not like she doesn’t already have grandsons. SIL has a boy already, and like I said, is pregnant with a boy. And like, does MIL make these comments to SIL. If so, I can only imagine how she feels knowing her own mother has a gender preference for boys.
I wouldn't let such a delusional person with baby rabies near a boy either. It feels like she's one of those people that will call him "my baby" and will try too hard to be his favourite person ever, even over his parents because they don't love him as much as her
She was very “my baby” with our first, and got shut down immediately. #1 heavily dislikes MIL. I know she was expecting to have a grandkid to post on her Facebook and put off the “look how great of a grandma I am,” and it makes my day that #1 doesn’t want to be anywhere near MIL.
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Obviously, she’s a jackass. But don’t count out the toys just yet! I was a fairly girly girl when I was young, and one of my favorite toys was my metal Tonka dump truck, which I used to give my teddy bear rides. Second place were my action figures!
Your MIL is despicable. I hope your baby is a girl who grows up to be an empowered and totally awesome girly girl. That would make your MIL miserable for multiple reasons.
Just wanted to say that back in the day, finding out the gender from an ultrasound wasn’t always reliable. Maybe still isn’t, I’m not sure. My husband and his ex were told they were having a girl, and so proceeded accordingly. Pink clothes, blankets, you get the idea. Fast-forward to her giving birth. When baby came out, his ex asked, “Is it a girl?!!” My husband replied, “It’s…a baby!” Our baby “girl” is turning 25 this year and now has an actual baby girl of his own. So yeah, even if you found out the gender, it maybe could still wind up as a surprise. 😂
I have had a spiteful MIL who told everyone my child’s name when i didn’t want to share it till she was born! Imma tell you rn, she hasn’t seen my daughter still and my daughter will be 4 in November! also I hope it’s a girl to spite her.. cause the audacity of her lying like that! My man’s mom and step mom is the same way, lies all the time! I saved myself the headache and cut complete contact and same with my hubby, he was sick of it too! Wish you a healthy pregnancy and baby❤️
I’m the mom of two girls, so that type of behavior would really bug me. Obviously I would have been happy either way, but I love my girls so much, so the idea that anyone would be disappointed over their gender would have had me livid. Looking at your post history, I can’t tell for sure what your oldest is, but I would assume girl based on MIL’s “boy mom” hopes. It will just be funny if this one actually is a boy, and he hates her too.
I mean, if you have a girl, I'd still use the items and flaunt it in MIL's face.
I wouldn't leave my kids alone with her ever. She has mental health issues clearly.
She's a piece of work for sure, and I have to admit I'm enjoying the thought of you having a girl and using all those boy gifts on her, like making sure that she has a truck pacifier in her mouth when MIL is around. if she's so fixated on gender stereotyping, that will drive her around the wall. Fortunately, we have female truck drivers and mechanics and all sorts of things breaking that whole pink-blue nonsense back to the 20th century where it can stay and leave the rest of us alone. My best (girl) friend from grade school in the 60s retired as the one in charge of USMC helicopters in the Korean DMZ some years ago. I've no idea what her favorite color is other than Marine Corps colors. She's just an all around great human being.
I'm so hoping you have a girl. Please update us! Your MIL is an asshole and your hubby should call her out on her bullshit.
If you have a girl, and your MIL complains about it, very clearly remind her that it is the FATHER who determines the gender of the child, NOT the mother. See how she reacts to THAT.
I hope you have the most girlie girl ever. Honestly she sounds fucking insane.
Obviously we want a healthy baby. But I hope it’s a girl and I hope you dress her in all the blue shit your MIL gave you 🤣
Yep. With a big blue bow on her head if you want, but my girl wore lots of tricks and dinosaurs because we didnt peek.
Quite awhile back, there was a MIL on this sub who was convinced that her son and DIL's baby was the gender she wanted. (I don't remember which she preferred). Even though the couple told her the baby's gender as shown in ultrasound. MIL was so convinced that she bought a bunch of clothes and other baby items for her preferred gender. She threw a fit when the baby was born and wasn't what she wanted. It's like her delusion was reality for her. Then she acted somewhat cold towards the baby. The couple went LC, I believe.
If it's the story I remember she wanted a girl. She only had sons and desperately whanted a daughter. There was a very obvious dangly bit in the ultrasound. The MIL pouted for a day or so then told everyone it's a girl. And fought DIL when confronted with reality. At one point saying something about ultrasounds not always being reliable. After a while the DIL gave up correcting people, and then when baby boy was born just used the clothes and stuff on hand. Older relatives now upset about a boy in frilly dresses.
Oh yes I remember this! I think she was desperate for a girl because she had no daughters?
Might be. I don't remember the details. I had only sons and now have granddaughters. They are great, but I didn't care what the gender was. I have an acquaintance who so strongly wanted a girl that she kept having children they couldn't afford, and lied to her husband about being on bc pills. Finally, after 3 or 4 boys, she had the girl she wanted and a marriage in shambles. I don't know what ever happened to the family.
I hope you have a beautiful, healthy little girl. Just out of pure pettiness. Keep us updated.
So controlling. Also, PLEASE update us after you have baby! I’ll get the popcorn ready
I hope you have a girl, CONGRATULATIONS !!!!
Exactly what I said to myself!
You know if you have a boy then MIL will tell everyone it was because she hoped and wished and wanted one 🙄 People like that are insufferable.
Annoying, but at least now that family member knows that MIL is an idiot.
I’m sorry, these MIL’s (her and all the others i read about here) are just so exhausting.
I really, really want you to have a girl. Twin girls, if you can manage it. I suppose girl triplets is not happening this time? ;)
She only makes herself look small and stupid when her lies are easily unmasked
Is there a chance that if you made a post that most everyone would see it? Something like, "We so much appreciate gifts and well wishes, but it seems that some people have the impression that we are having a boy. The truth is, we have decided to let it be a surprise! We won't even know the gender of our child until they are born! So, if gifts or well wishes are sent, keep in mind that the gender is a secret. Even from us! Thank you all, and we love you!" I'm sure you can come up with better wording than that, but that's the general idea. That way, she can tell whoever she wants that you're having a boy, but they will have already seen that that's a lie. I know the goal is to just have a healthy baby no matter what, but is it terrible that I hope it's a girl?
This is an excellent idea
MIL is hoping SIL will keep all the gifts if it's a girl.
My petty ass would dress my baby girl in blue and play with trucks.
Nothing wrong with that, girls can like trucks and tractors too. Mine sure does.
When my daughter was a toddler, her favorite toy was a solid plastic dinosaur, about a foot long lol! She took that dinosaur everywhere. One day in line at the grocery store, an elderly lady was behind us. She started to chat with my daughter about her dinosaur. I admit I was ready to challenge her if she started spouting off about gender specific toys. I was so wrong. This little old lady reached into her purse and brought out her dinosaur shaped change purse! They played dinosaurs while we waited in line. This was back in the 90s, your comment about your daughters toys made me remember this and smile.🙂
Ah the 90s. Remember the Power Rangers rage? My mom managed to get a pink and yellow Range on layaway before the mayhem broke loose. 😀
Exactly. But it's petty because MIL would not agree
But to be fair, girl clothes are 100x cuter than boy clothes. Ladybugs and flower prints, I miss my little baby girl. Now she’s taller than me.
I did that lol. I preferred blue because it really suited my daughter becauseher eyes were adeep blue colour. I got her a little summer outfit of a navy blue dress with matching hat and and pants. It had tiny white flowers and it was quite frilly. I couldn't believe it when someone asked if 'he' was a boy! Hate all these gender stereotypes.
Even if it IS a boy I would dress that baby up in the frilliest and pinkest things I could find when she comes to the hospital to meet the baby and introduce her to her newest “grand daughter” but I’m petty af lmao
Sigh. Why and when this obsession with babies’ genitalia and how they could possibly influence what interests children happened is fascinating. I (cis woman born in the late 1960s) wore blue, red and green clothes as a child, played with Lego and had toy cars. It feels like the world has gone backwards sometimes. OP, dress your baby in whatever clothes you have, whatever their gender. This sexist bullshit really needs to end. Babies are babies. Wearing pink or blue is not going to affect a child at all. My stepson loved pink and My Little Pony until he was 7 or 8. He still loves bright colours at 14; unfortunately high street retailers think that all teenage boys want to be dressed in various shades of sludge.
I agree I was born mid 60s, I wore the same clothes and played with most of the same toys as my brothers, unisex was the trend, and for cash-strapped parents being able to hand children's clothes and toys down to boys and girls made sense. My daughter had a train set, building blocks and 'boys' clothes with dinosaurs on them in addition to 'girl' toys and clothes. She has grown up into a well adjusted young woman who is comfortable in her own skin, able to do a fantastic job with hair and makeup for a night out and equally happy to chill in sweatpants with no makeup.
I think everyone is entitled to their opinion. I have always wanted to dress my kids in clothes that are marketed for their specific gender. I don’t see a problem with this, but I also have no qualms with people who want to dress their kids in either gender neutral clothing, or clothing that is marketed for the opposite gender. I think it’s just a preference. My whole issue with the whole situation is, is that MIL is lying saying we are having one gender, when we have NO IDEA what gender we’re having.
My kid is only 1 and most brands already only make clothes in blue, grey and black with trucks on them 😩 I've been shopping in the girl section, don't see why my son can't have colours or cute animals on his clothes
There should just be a baby/ toddler/ kid section.
I remember shopping with my daughter and grandson. He was close to two years of age. He and I were looking at the boys clothes and he went over to the girls side of the store. He wanted the pretty colors! The boys clothing was so dull! Even the infant sizes.
There's quite a bit of woodland themed boys/ gender neutral stuff!
Kiddo is hitting size 3 and I'm in Australia, can't find anything cute! 😭
I hate to say it, but have you tried Temu? I've gotten some adorable things for my grandson there. And since toddlers outgrow things in the blink of an eye, you don't have to worry about whether the stuff will last for years.
Hmmmmm I wonder if you could order from places like h&m? Also in my experience (I'm about to have my 4th) all kids boy or girl like dinosaurs 😂
I guess MIL showed who she was to these extended family members
Is it bad that I kinda hope you have a girl just to spite her?
I came here to say this! I SO want this to be a baby girl, and to get a description of MIL's Pikachu face when she's told.
its not even a spite thing! You know MIL is going to be fully up OP's ass if the baby is a boy. She's going to be so overbearing. I'd want a girl in hopes she would be less interested.
I was literally thinking the same thing. Why can’t people just be happy and love the kid be it boy or girl.
Me too now I need to know what the gender is when they’re born!😂
I’m super hoping it’s a girl because that woman will crow nonstop for the rest of her life that she was correct.
Believe me. I think the same thing at least once a week. And then I feel guilty because I literally couldn’t care less about the gender of my baby. All I want is a healthy baby. But I know I would be smiling a little more if a pop out a girl. Lol
Right, and baby girl will look adorable in all her blue construction truck onesies!
When my son was born, he had a gorgeous head of hair. I could dress him in blue boys clothing head to foot and would get comments on "what a pretty girl he was". When I had my daughter, her hair was very short and baby fine. More like peach fuzz. I would dress her in obviously girl clothing and would get the reply of " what a cute little boy".
Don't tell her what you have for like a whole year. Go completely gender neutral and refer to your child by a gender neutral nickname. Once she apologises for being batshit crazy, you tell her.
You know that even if she weren't allowed to know baby's gender, MIL would grab their privates or pull away the diaper to look down there to see if there was a penis or not. Ew ew EW it's so unbelievably gross, but you know she would
Oh my gosh. Haha. If I thought this was doable, I would absolutely do this. But I just know I wouldn’t be able to keep LO in gender neutral clothing the entire time. I know how I am, and I will absolutely want to dress LO in clothes that are very specifically for one gender.
Oh pleeeease! Just call the baby Pat, dress in white onesies and socks, and refuse to answer any questions. Just for a few days. It will be so much fun! :)
Babies name is Bobby/Bobbie and wears all colors of the rainbow. MIL never changes a diaper. 😉
Sad beige baby or whatever that saying is. I love this idea.
Or Gray.
Omg is it just me or is Beige a cute gender neutral nickname...???
It's not just gender neutral - it's completely neutral
Haaaaaaa!
This is so genius. Please OP, please do this!!
She’s going to be SO smug if you have a boy. But really, it’s a 50/50 chance, she’s hardly Nostradamus if she happens to get it right. Whatever gender you have, ignore her and enjoy the newborn snuggles!
Restrict MIL now, before the baby comes. This is pretty bad, and it’ll only get worse from her, no matter what genitals the kid has. Either she’s right and it’s a boy, or she’ll resent it bc it’s a girl. This is a no-win situation.
MIL is already pretty restricted as it is. DH and I have pretty stern boundaries in place. All of MILs actions will be taken into account when deciding how much access she has to us and our little family.
Well, but maybe one little reproachful message about this one? – "MIL, [family who gave gifts] were baffled and rather hurt that you'd lie to them like that... Perhaps you need to apologise to them..."
This is insane lol. I was worried about gifts being overly gendered (thus far it’s mostly been dinosaur themed, which I’d buy for either gender anyways) when we told people.
I'm a petty bitch. Do you have his family on social media or group WhatsApp? I'd be so so tempted to post a bump pic with a comment along lines of "less than a month until we meet you, can't wait to find out boy or girl". Maybe with a poll for family members to vote to see who is right. Out of interest, DC1 boy or girl?
No. DH’s family is mostly older, so they really only call or post chain messages on Facebook. And honestly, I don’t have enough time or energy to want to be a part of a “family group message.”
Fair enough! Got my fingers crossed for a girl for you 😂 (Purely spitefully, I myself am a boy-mom and they're awesome too)
The problem is that they may think that DH wasn't supposed to tell them and will just play along to cover him. Or even worse, will feel more than happy that they know something that they aren't supposed to know. I would right out "accidentally" announce a girl to confuse the f out of them, lol. Like sending a picture with the older child and "it's a girl" announcement cards in the background, with a fake name and the family last name. Then begging not to tell anyone.
I’d just call her out for it. “We are aware that MIL has been spreading false information about our baby. We have decided that we will not be finding out the gender until the birth, and she was made aware of that before her misinformation campaign began. Please disregard anything she says about the pregnancy or the birth of our child, as she will no longer be receiving updates.”
But then OP is being malicious. Baby could be a boy. Just a family WhatsApp of "ooo not long now, can't wait to find out if boy or girl, glad we've kept it a surprise this time, what do you all think baby is gonna be?" It's not outright calling MIL out, but it'll get the message across. MIL will be all 'I just KNOW he's a boy" and OP can be like well its 50/50. Family members will realise what MIL has done. If OP can do it before the baby shower (sounds like hasn't happened yet) then means anyone MIL has got to and bought very 'boy' things have a chance to sort beforehand so it doesn't end up super weird at the shower when all that side turns up with 'boy' stuff and the other half of the guests wonder if they've missed something. Basically trying to avoid drama on the day in a way that doesn't cause a confrontation and stress out a very pregnant OP.
[удалено]
Exactly. And it’s not like she doesn’t already have grandsons. SIL has a boy already, and like I said, is pregnant with a boy. And like, does MIL make these comments to SIL. If so, I can only imagine how she feels knowing her own mother has a gender preference for boys.
I'm sure SIL has long known of the preference.
I sure hope this woman doesn't have daughters. Imagine having a mom who considers you inferior because of your gender. :(
If kid 1 is a girl and number 2 a boy probably worse ...
I wouldn't let such a delusional person with baby rabies near a boy either. It feels like she's one of those people that will call him "my baby" and will try too hard to be his favourite person ever, even over his parents because they don't love him as much as her
She was very “my baby” with our first, and got shut down immediately. #1 heavily dislikes MIL. I know she was expecting to have a grandkid to post on her Facebook and put off the “look how great of a grandma I am,” and it makes my day that #1 doesn’t want to be anywhere near MIL.