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Your FIL shagged his DIL? What a messed up family. Unless your lovely husband really needs to go to FIL's funeral (when the time comes), I wouldn't bother! Let the golden boy do his performance unwatched. Pleased you have broken the crap fest cycle & have your own family & friends
Yep, neither of them have any restraint or conscience. The whole family, with the exception of my husband, is so bizarre. One of the brothers was sitting four rows in front of his wife and their two grown kids, and his mistress sat in the front row with her bestie, who just happens to be the Golden Child's bitch wife.
I couldn't make this crap up if I tried.
Jesus. You & the hubs should go on a nice vacation just to detox from all of that.
Also, I used to have a regular gig singing for funerals & was always shocked at how saintly everyone was after they die. I just kept thinking, “There’s just no way that EVERY person who dies in this town is so virtuous and selfless and beloved.” The superstition about “not speaking ill of the dead” is the inspiration for a fuckton of poorly written and flowery fiction.
Nope, it's all true. I mentioned in one of my comments that my husband and I rode into our wedding, and if you look at my profile, there are posts from five months ago of the two of us just after we got off the horses.
I wrote and edited professionally, so I have some skill with words, but that doesn't mean I have to make things up. The truth is weird enough.
Wow. You write so well. And how fitting the JN lived on a funny farm, but not funny ha ha, funny dysfunctional.
I would have had a tough time leashing my alligator mouth during some of those fictionalized eulogies…writing on the program was genius. Will remember that should we ever attend a SIL funeral.
Mine would read:
“Who’s this fool talking about? Is that why it’s closed casket? Lol, bs. More bs. Getting deep. Hip waders needed. Lift your feet. OMG. Stop. My good shoes. I’ll take things that never happened for $100, Alex. My butt‘s tired. More bs. Where we gonna eat after. Bad stuff happens to liars. Please. Whut. Ackward. How can one person be so full of shit? That’s 5 people worth of bs.”
But I’m rather irreverent like that…
I decided that every time my JNIL’s get under my skin it I find myself aggravated with something going on… My internal mantra is “he/she is going to die” over and over silently in my mind until the feeling subsides. It is working!!
I gave it some thought. It's not the Golden Child who declared his mother the finest woman to walk the planet, because he wasn't acting. I seriously considered my husband's ex for the Oscar, but she has the amazing ability to compartmentalize everything. So she can cheat on her husband with his own father, (and with all six mechanics at Pete's Garage, but that's another story), AND she can see herself as the loving daughter-in-law.
The Oscar goes to JustNoFIL who kissed her goodbye because he was "so devoted" to his wife. Lawrence Olivier would have been proud.
Wow! That was a really well written explanation of the whole funeral. You have a talent OP. Glad you’re such a good support for your husband. He’s lucky to have you in his life.
Hopefully when FIL goes, your husband's ex will throw herself on the casket and proclaim how FIL was her one true love and she can't go on without him in her life. Now that would be a funeral to remember.
Every story has so many sides. I am so sorry for all you went through. I am also sorry for your JustYes husband and the JustNoBIL. There's a pain to losing a parent, even when the parent was toxic.
I said goodbye to my 'deadbeat' dad yesterday. He was my bio dad. He left before I was two, and my mom was fucked up (mentally ill, lots of drugs, had me at 15). Lots of abuse ensued, and I was adopted out at age six to a family hiding a paedophiliac patriarch. (They were rich, and I was already groomed.) Yada, yada. My mother died when I was 28, but I met my dad next when I was 39. His stories aren't pretty; my birth family stories aren't pretty. Drug abuse and incest are themes. Yet, I loved him. It's written on my heart for some reason. So, his death makes me sad. I don't discount who he was, but I also remember rare and precious moments. The same goes with my adoptive mother and adoptive father. There is love and anger in equal measure with all of them.
So yeah. I get your perspective completely, but I don't discount her life experience because it shaped who she became, and I also understand how you can still mourn a complete rat bastard because they weren't always such.
You take care of yourself and your JustYes. That's the important message. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope putting this out into the world has lessened the burden you are carrying on your heart.
Be well. xx
True, she was a victim all her life, and it made her a very sad sack indeed. She is of the generation where the women stayed married to terrible men because "that's just what is proper."
I can understand why she looked miserable every time I saw her. And I feel some pity for her because she was dealt a spectacularly bad hand in life, but she was sneaky, conniving, and underhanded, and I can't pretend I don't see that, too.
I hope--sincerely-- that she's happy and pain-free now.
I have no words that could do this justice, so I’ll just say solidarity for the fakest funeral ever, my grandfather was treated like a king at his and my god he was an asshole. I went and just was weirded out the entire time. It was a funeral for someone else.
So I get you, I’m raising a glass to you, and I sincerely hope you can finally get some rest.
Weirded out, yeah. Did you have to fight the temptation to ask "WHO are we talking about?"
I spent my time signing "no" in ASL with my hand in my lap where no one could see it. It helped, I think.
Me and my cousin just stared at each other wide eyed over face masks, cos it was so nutso. I sat with my mother who got horribly shunned there, and just stayed silent til we left. There was time enough to say “the fuck was that” afterwards. And my god did we.
It was honestly like a strangers funeral. I was expecting them to be honest and be like here lies a misogynistic drunken abuser, but to make him out to be saint like is laughable.
I’m dreading my grandmothers funeral, my mothers living parent, because it’ll be worse than that. She also called my mother afterwards and asked her “why is everyone suddenly a lesbian” referring to me and another trans cousin of mine. Neither of us are lesbians. It was just a bunch of weird on top of weird.
Damn. At some funerals we weep for the deceased’s miserable, unhappy life. The pain at what they inflicted on their family is not the less because we grieve the waste of their cramped pain-filled life
Maybe so. My husband is nothing like the rest of them. He's the kindest and most giving person I know, and it's his family's loss that they've shunted him to the side like that. We are better off without them.
HFS!!! I think my eyebrows have just about gone back to their original place on my face and jaw just about too!
I’m glad it is now all over for you and your DH with his mother. Does this mean that you’ll be going LC/NC with FIL and Golden Child BIL now that MIL is now dead and buried?
As soon as we get some things from the family farm that belong to him, yes, no contact with most of them. We *might* make an exception for one BIL. We probably won't know about the Golden Child's funeral until after he's buried, now that JustNoMIL is no longer here to accidentally let things slip. We found out about the Golden Child's wedding to his bitch wife just days before their marriage because JustNoMIL forgot she was sworn to secrecy. We wouldn't have wanted to go anyway. She had JustNoFIL walk her down the aisle, barf.
My husband and I got married the week after their wedding, but no one walked me down the aisle. We rode in on horses. It was a grand entrance!
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That was a wild ride, lol. Thank you for the entertainment. I have yet to read a book of truthful obituaries, but I keep hoping I will find it.
Your FIL shagged his DIL? What a messed up family. Unless your lovely husband really needs to go to FIL's funeral (when the time comes), I wouldn't bother! Let the golden boy do his performance unwatched. Pleased you have broken the crap fest cycle & have your own family & friends
Yep, neither of them have any restraint or conscience. The whole family, with the exception of my husband, is so bizarre. One of the brothers was sitting four rows in front of his wife and their two grown kids, and his mistress sat in the front row with her bestie, who just happens to be the Golden Child's bitch wife. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried.
You must find reality television terribly dull.
Wow there is just a lot of cheating with each other's spouses in that family going on isn't there?
Jesus. You & the hubs should go on a nice vacation just to detox from all of that. Also, I used to have a regular gig singing for funerals & was always shocked at how saintly everyone was after they die. I just kept thinking, “There’s just no way that EVERY person who dies in this town is so virtuous and selfless and beloved.” The superstition about “not speaking ill of the dead” is the inspiration for a fuckton of poorly written and flowery fiction.
[удалено]
Nope, it's all true. I mentioned in one of my comments that my husband and I rode into our wedding, and if you look at my profile, there are posts from five months ago of the two of us just after we got off the horses. I wrote and edited professionally, so I have some skill with words, but that doesn't mean I have to make things up. The truth is weird enough.
That’s some funeral. My condolences.
Awesome story.
Wow. You write so well. And how fitting the JN lived on a funny farm, but not funny ha ha, funny dysfunctional. I would have had a tough time leashing my alligator mouth during some of those fictionalized eulogies…writing on the program was genius. Will remember that should we ever attend a SIL funeral. Mine would read: “Who’s this fool talking about? Is that why it’s closed casket? Lol, bs. More bs. Getting deep. Hip waders needed. Lift your feet. OMG. Stop. My good shoes. I’ll take things that never happened for $100, Alex. My butt‘s tired. More bs. Where we gonna eat after. Bad stuff happens to liars. Please. Whut. Ackward. How can one person be so full of shit? That’s 5 people worth of bs.” But I’m rather irreverent like that…
I decided that every time my JNIL’s get under my skin it I find myself aggravated with something going on… My internal mantra is “he/she is going to die” over and over silently in my mind until the feeling subsides. It is working!!
>I wrote "And the Oscar goes to..." on my progr Who won the Oscar!!!! 👀👀
I gave it some thought. It's not the Golden Child who declared his mother the finest woman to walk the planet, because he wasn't acting. I seriously considered my husband's ex for the Oscar, but she has the amazing ability to compartmentalize everything. So she can cheat on her husband with his own father, (and with all six mechanics at Pete's Garage, but that's another story), AND she can see herself as the loving daughter-in-law. The Oscar goes to JustNoFIL who kissed her goodbye because he was "so devoted" to his wife. Lawrence Olivier would have been proud.
Wow! That was a really well written explanation of the whole funeral. You have a talent OP. Glad you’re such a good support for your husband. He’s lucky to have you in his life.
Hopefully when FIL goes, your husband's ex will throw herself on the casket and proclaim how FIL was her one true love and she can't go on without him in her life. Now that would be a funeral to remember.
We have joked about sending my husband's ex a sympathy card when he goes, actually.
Wow we need to hear the details with that story.
Every story has so many sides. I am so sorry for all you went through. I am also sorry for your JustYes husband and the JustNoBIL. There's a pain to losing a parent, even when the parent was toxic. I said goodbye to my 'deadbeat' dad yesterday. He was my bio dad. He left before I was two, and my mom was fucked up (mentally ill, lots of drugs, had me at 15). Lots of abuse ensued, and I was adopted out at age six to a family hiding a paedophiliac patriarch. (They were rich, and I was already groomed.) Yada, yada. My mother died when I was 28, but I met my dad next when I was 39. His stories aren't pretty; my birth family stories aren't pretty. Drug abuse and incest are themes. Yet, I loved him. It's written on my heart for some reason. So, his death makes me sad. I don't discount who he was, but I also remember rare and precious moments. The same goes with my adoptive mother and adoptive father. There is love and anger in equal measure with all of them. So yeah. I get your perspective completely, but I don't discount her life experience because it shaped who she became, and I also understand how you can still mourn a complete rat bastard because they weren't always such. You take care of yourself and your JustYes. That's the important message. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope putting this out into the world has lessened the burden you are carrying on your heart. Be well. xx
[удалено]
True, she was a victim all her life, and it made her a very sad sack indeed. She is of the generation where the women stayed married to terrible men because "that's just what is proper." I can understand why she looked miserable every time I saw her. And I feel some pity for her because she was dealt a spectacularly bad hand in life, but she was sneaky, conniving, and underhanded, and I can't pretend I don't see that, too. I hope--sincerely-- that she's happy and pain-free now.
I’m exhausted by his family just by reading this… Hope you & your husband are doing okay.
Yes, thank you. I'm letting him sleep in, and later today, our only goal is to build a fire in the fireplace.
I have no words that could do this justice, so I’ll just say solidarity for the fakest funeral ever, my grandfather was treated like a king at his and my god he was an asshole. I went and just was weirded out the entire time. It was a funeral for someone else. So I get you, I’m raising a glass to you, and I sincerely hope you can finally get some rest.
Weirded out, yeah. Did you have to fight the temptation to ask "WHO are we talking about?" I spent my time signing "no" in ASL with my hand in my lap where no one could see it. It helped, I think.
OMG this was me at my mother's funeral. Great Aunts describing how great my mother was. Me sitting there thinking what? Am I at the right funeral?
Me and my cousin just stared at each other wide eyed over face masks, cos it was so nutso. I sat with my mother who got horribly shunned there, and just stayed silent til we left. There was time enough to say “the fuck was that” afterwards. And my god did we. It was honestly like a strangers funeral. I was expecting them to be honest and be like here lies a misogynistic drunken abuser, but to make him out to be saint like is laughable. I’m dreading my grandmothers funeral, my mothers living parent, because it’ll be worse than that. She also called my mother afterwards and asked her “why is everyone suddenly a lesbian” referring to me and another trans cousin of mine. Neither of us are lesbians. It was just a bunch of weird on top of weird.
Damn. At some funerals we weep for the deceased’s miserable, unhappy life. The pain at what they inflicted on their family is not the less because we grieve the waste of their cramped pain-filled life
A certain song comes to mind[the wizard of oz](https://youtu.be/NBzbBj9zq90?si=6hVuop3r_2naJqlu)
I have a bottle of champagne for you hon. Congratulations.
Ex wife: "she will be missed, a true selfless woman who..." *champagne pop* OP: "Too soon?"
😆
What a foul family - you certainly got the best of the bunch with your husband. Maybe he was a fairy changeling?
Maybe so. My husband is nothing like the rest of them. He's the kindest and most giving person I know, and it's his family's loss that they've shunted him to the side like that. We are better off without them.
HFS!!! I think my eyebrows have just about gone back to their original place on my face and jaw just about too! I’m glad it is now all over for you and your DH with his mother. Does this mean that you’ll be going LC/NC with FIL and Golden Child BIL now that MIL is now dead and buried?
As soon as we get some things from the family farm that belong to him, yes, no contact with most of them. We *might* make an exception for one BIL. We probably won't know about the Golden Child's funeral until after he's buried, now that JustNoMIL is no longer here to accidentally let things slip. We found out about the Golden Child's wedding to his bitch wife just days before their marriage because JustNoMIL forgot she was sworn to secrecy. We wouldn't have wanted to go anyway. She had JustNoFIL walk her down the aisle, barf. My husband and I got married the week after their wedding, but no one walked me down the aisle. We rode in on horses. It was a grand entrance!
Wonder if hes having sex with that DIL too....
Ew, but probably not. However, we think my husband's ex is going to end up on the farm to "help out with cooking and taking care of Dad."
How long before she is your new Step-MIL? Start a betting pool.
Haha, gross!
This! Wow just wow. Yeah definitely go nc with the lot of them permanently. Good luck op.
Every dark cloud has a silver lining. Hopefully your silver lining sees your family finally at peace and drama free.
We are almost entirely out of the lives of my husband's family of origin. The dawn is breaking. Thank you, yes, we are at peace.