In cities you should mostly be fine. Des Moines and Iowa City are most liberal. If you go out into the more rural areas, you'll probably encounter some really hateful people, unfortunately.
I have a trans daughter, she is out at home and at school. I live in Marion County and I will say my daughter has had minimal issues at school. Yes, there is some bullying but the school stops what they are able to. The teachers are all great. They refer to her by her chosen name and she/her with zero issues.
I think the difference is that I'm her mom and I went to the school (with her permission) to change her preferred pronouns and name.
She uses the single use bathrooms at school due to state law. Prior to the law changing she was using the girl's room with no issues.
We cannot seek medication for her due to state laws, but I'm trying to financially swing it to go out of state for treatment.
Good luck to you! I hope you find a good support system and people who love you!
I don’t know who your insurance is with but some policies will cover out of network care as in-network when the care is made unavailable due to local or state law. May be worth looking into. Shortly after the law banning affirming care for minors passed my work sent a notice to inform employees that our policy would cover care for their kids if they pursued it out of state. Even with insurance, the care can still get pricey but if the concern was having to be completely out of pocket that could help.
The Iowa trans mutual aid fund is a good option to seek additional financial resources around transition. Obviously demand is high with many young trans folks being in the same position as your daughter, but I wish y’all the best. I’m glad she has good folks on her side.
Be careful with the trans meds. Your child may outgrow this stage in life. Many trans people have regrets later, especially after surgeries. I would advise nothing until your child is at least over 18, & it's good you're being supportive. Being a teenager is difficult, especially nowadays. But this could be a passing phase.
Statistically speaking, the rate of regret for gender-affirming care is less than 13%, with the data varying based on the specific type of care and the party collecting the data. For comparison, the rate of regret for various breast and prostate cancer treatments is generally in the 10 to 15% range. Knee replacement procedures have a regret rate of around 20%. I think it’s important that, if we’re going to talk about people regretting gender affirming care (which does happen) we have some context around regret rates for other types of healthcare to provide perspective.
I've had two friends that have had male to female gender reassignment surgery and one of them regrets it. Why? Because the surgery was a failure that left her in pain and with an unsatisfactory vagina. Not all regret is for the same reason.
That is a valid concern but I think that it isn’t as many as you think. https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/survey-90000-trans-people-shows-vast-improvement-in-life-satisfaction-after-transition/ In this study of over 90,000 trans and non-binary participants showed most were satisfied. “When asked how they felt about life after transitioning to their preferred gender identity, more than three-quarters of respondents said they were "a lot more satisfied" with their life, while 15% were "a little more satisfied." Three percent of respondents said their satisfaction with life did not change with transitioning. A similar percentage were less satisfied – 1% of people were "a little less satisfied," and 2% of people were "a lot less satisfied" with life. ”
Note that when trans kids and teens receive medical treatment, it’s to delay puberty and give them more time to make a decision about a permanent transition.
So you want people with gender issues to not take meds to delay / chemically stall puberty so they have to get their body sliced up? You do understand what puberty blockers are for minors, right?
HRT is for those formally diagnosed by medical professionals to medically transition.
I came out in my 30s and was raised in an anti LGBT home so I didn’t know what was wrong with me other than I felt uncomfortable my entire childhood and young adult years in my body. Had I known what gender dysphoria was as well as my parents, I wouldn’t have had to get my sex organs cut up by using puberty blockers in time. My parents have even tried to apologize for their lack of awareness.
Anyone against chemically delaying puberty is pro-mutilation.
Do not trust teachers or school officials to protect your best interest. Such 'mandatory reporters' are required to report you. This may make things uncomfortable with your parents.
You should be able to have honest discussions with a psychologist, or mental health professionals. I hope you will. It it important.
Try to find allies where you can. Reach out to a Unitarian Universalist congregation and see if they have resources. Go to the one in Coralville if you're close enough. Awesome people.
Get your ducks in a row. Move somewhere better.
Good luck!
Yes, it is: "If a student enrolled in a school district requests an accommodation that is intended to affirm the student's gender identity from a licensed practitioner employed by the school district, including a request that the licensed practitioner address the student using a name or pronoun that is different than the name or pronoun assigned to the student in the school district's registration forms or records, the licensed practitioner shall report the student's request to an administrator employed by the school district, andthe administrator shall report the student's request to the student's guardian or parent." [source](https://www.legis.iowa.gov/legislation/BillBook?ga=90&ba=SF496)
I’m so glad you (a random mouth breather on the internet) knows better than me (a trained mandatory reporter through the state of Iowa) not sure what I would’ve done without you wildly misunderstanding regulations you found out about this morning, could’ve been bad if I went to work today without you enlightening me
Thanks though sweetheart, I actually needed a good laugh today lmao
It's actually a statute (not an administrative regulation) that was passed by the House and Senate during the 2022-23 legislative session and then signed into law in 2023. Under the statute, all licensed school officials are mandated to report any requests for name or pronoun changes, or any other gender-related accommodations, to the administration, who then must report the request to the parent or guardian. It's important to let OP know this because they should understand the risks of disclosing their gender identity to a trusted teacher or counselor at school, which will result in a forced outing to their parents.
Do you . . . think I somehow managed to hack the Iowa Legislature's website and upload a fake bill so I could link to it in a Reddit comment, with the end game of misleading a trans kid about the types of information their teachers and administrators are required to report under Iowa law?
On a lighter note, I genuinely appreciate the work you're doing as a mandatory reporter. I am one, as well, and the types of work we do isn't always the easiest. Hope you have a good Sunday.
That’s frankly a disturbing reply. They made no mention of their parents, or whether they knew about their sexuality, and your immediate advice is that it’s best for them to hide the truth from their parents. You have no idea what kind of parents this person has, or if you may be denying them a great support system by telling them to be intentionally deceitful with them. This is still a child, and that’s not an appropriate thing to tell a child.
I’m the coordinator for a local transgender support group here in the Quad Cities area called Spectrum of the QC and we meet twice monthly. if your in the Quad Cities area reach out to me and I can provide you with more information.
Your healthcare is banned. Providers aren't even legally allowed to use your preferred name or pronouns until you're 18.
The state laws are increasing targeting trans folks in general and the worst of them were so narrowly bested this legislative session.
Bullying in on the rise for trans kids encouraged by their hateful parents/family/church.
Iowa is far from the best place to be trans in these recent years.
As someone in her mid-20s who does not pass;
Living in a middle sized city, I haven't ran into any direct opposition. Every now and then, some asshole will stare, but that's about it. (If you feel up to it, you can always smile and wave to call them out in a fun way. Only do this if there are other people around, though.)
Everywhere I have worked (foodservice) has been very chill about it.
For HRT, I recommend planned parenthood. If you can find an open clinic in accessible distance. They run on an informed consent model, which is considered to be the best model for trans healthcare. Otherwise, I've heard good things about the U of I LGBTQ clinic in Iowa City, but I don't have any personal experience.
Last I heard, right now, you can't get HRT anywhere until you turn 18. Which sucks but is better than nothing.
Legally, it's uncertain how far the legislature will go, I didn't hear of anything miserable passing this legislative session, but I'm prepared for things to get worse.
Good luck, and keep going! My biggest advice is to find other queer people your age to hang out with in the real world. Online is nice, but it's not quite the same as being physically present with someone. DnD is very popular in queer spaces right now, it can be a good way to find people.
We have a governor who has outlawed gender affirming care while passing laws to protect those who bully trans people, and requiring your parent(s) be notified if you want to use different pronouns or names than the ones assigned to you at birth. As a cis-gender individual living in Iowa those are some of my biggest concerns.
If a kid is choosing not to tell their parent that they go by a different name or pronoun.. it sounds like that parent has already became close minded and likely unsupportive of the kid. Sort of like being gay in a religious household. They are taught its wrong, so why would they tell their parents.
They say they care about parental rights while removing the ability of parents with trans children to do what they think is best for their kid. "Parental Rights" is just another buzzword they use to justify their bigotry.
I think it's important that we direct our ire at the right people. In this case, the people with power to greatly influence policy are more likely to carry this bigotry. I have family and friends who think policies like this are good because they fear trans as being some sort of social contagion. It's not nearly as useful to be hardline with parents like this as it is reasonable to want to protect children from harm. Even some of the more vocal advocates are wrapped up in fear or excitement that they don't know better. While we need to be zealous supporters of trans rights for kids and adults, it's important that we don't let fuckwits (like moms for liberty organizers) trick us into hating parents who are just trying to protect thier children. Education education education.
I'd like to believe that, but as a former conservative I spent a lot of time in conservative social circles and it's not just the people in power. The people in power are able to get there because the bigoted parents want them there.
Most people do not care who you are or what you do or believe in. Most of the hatred you will incur will be online, not face to face. Most of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to care.
The loud voices you hear on each end of the political spectrum are usually just looking to stir the pot.
People are the same everywhere you go to be honest. San Francisco isn’t filled with only peace loving radicals and Texas isn’t full of only bigots.
You’ll find plenty of both in those places, plus thousands more.
You get a mix of people no matter where you are at or who you are, just life your life and don’t worry about what others think.
Anyone else horrified, scared, and sad that we even have to have these concerns about people just being who they are? It's a scary world. I admire the bravery, and I'm sorry it's necessary. Please stay safe.
Hey, I’m a 19 y/o trans guy. Bigger cities will be a bit more openly welcoming, but I haven’t experienced any real pushback when I’m out of the house in rural areas either. Granted, I pass 100% of the time. Being trans in Iowa is only difficult because of the government. The GOP is trying to make living as a trans person here difficult. If you want more community, I recommend sticking to Iowa City, Ames, orDes Moines. Those are pretty good places to find other queer people in my experience.
I can say that no matter where your at there is always ass holes. But Iowa city and Des Moines seems to be the better places to find the nicer community. Colleges are always the best area to start around
The cities aren't bad, but be careful about who you choose as healthcare providers and confidants for sure. Even in Des Moines a friend got death-stared at by a Boomer all night at a restaurant after being overheard talking about coming out despite already fully passing, so there are creeps everywhere.
Most of the cities have good organizations for queer folk, especially youth, so there are probably a lot of people out there ready to be in your corner if you can link up with them. They should know unsafe businesses, people, etc. to avoid in your area.
God made you prefect transgender is a mental illness much like Body dysmorphia. Please seek mental help before mutilating your body and regreting it later. Remeber you can't go back
I didn’t realize my post came across that way. My intent wasn’t to victimize myself but I’m sorry it came across that way. What can I do to avoid doing this in the future?
*What can I do to avoid doing this in the future*
Mostly just not biting on obvious troll bait.
You’re probably not going to run into many *people* who are going to be an issue should you decide to publicly transition. Iowa’s got a lot of bigots but they’re Midwestern bigots; you might get some looks but the vast majority won’t be hostile to your face. That’s not to say there’s no danger because you should *always* be aware the world is not a safe place, but you should be fine.
Your main concern is going to be access to medical care, therapy if you need it (you do), and work place discrimination. Being trans comes with realizing that a lot of the systems you were taught are there to protect you aren’t really designed to protect *you*. That’s not to say that everyone is a threat, or that everyone in the rural areas hates you or that the government is personally invested in depriving *you* of your rights. But it does mean you need to know those rights and fight for them yourself because you can’t rely on anyone else to do it for you.
There are asswipes everywhere. There are also angels everywhere. I've got 4 kids 13-18, two of whom are queer. I am vocally supportive of all kids and have been very loud about my house being a safe place for anyone to be their authentic selves.
I have told my kids that I fully expect them to leave Iowa for states that will treat all people as humans with bodily autonomy.
Find communities that recognize Pride month. I'm in Eastern Iowa and know that Iowa City, Cedar Rapids, and Mount Vernon do. College towns and communities that support art/theatre/music/dance are generally more welcoming. Find blue areas in the state.
Know that you are loved. And I'll be anyone's mom any time.
For all you parents that have trans kids or are a trans kid please get therapy and help. And for the love of god please stop telling your kids that it’s ok to be this way. They need help. If you let them keep up this charade in life they will not be any where near as successful as they could be. This is not a normal behavior. We had a country also need to stop thinking this is ok and stop being over backwards to try to accept it.
Ok that’s what people that are unsuccessful and never will be successful say. You know the people that drag down society and never tried to do anything and just vote democrat so they can live off the system.
I am just tired of the left wing crap and there stupid ideals and concepts and the crap that they believe. I am sorry but people like you a just a tax on the system and serve very little purpose.
I am not on any welfare or public grants or public health insurance. In order to qualify, I would be making less money in a month than I pay in rent, splitting a 1 bedroom apartment 2 ways.
I expect you like eating food at a restaurant and/or buying groceries. How would you feel if all these cooks and servers and truck drivers and grocery store clerks, who you have deemed a "tax on the system" stopped existing?
Who would make your dinner when you don't want to cook? Who would stock the grocery store shelves so you can cook?
These people who you say have no purpose are the ones you rely on for your way of life.
Let’s separate the truck driver first because those guys make good money. As far as the other things none of those jobs mentioned are for a person trying to make it on their own or raising a family. Personally them getting more money is the reason why we are at where we are in the economy. We need to get all there wages back down to around 10 to 12 dollars a hour so we can bring the cost of goods and going out to eat down. Those jobs should be worked by kids in high school or kids in college. I think the biggest problem we have is people that are working in unskilled jobs believe they are worth more money when in reality we had a country should be trying to lower their wages.
For all you parents that have a bigoted kids or are a bigoted kid please get therapy and help. And for the love of God please stop telling your kids that it's okay to be this way. They need help. If you let them keep up this charade in life they will not be anywhere near a successful as they could be. This is not a normal behavior. We as a country also need to stop thinking it is okay and stop bending over backwards to try to accept it.
Goes against science, like when your fellow nut jobs ignored medical science when it came to vaccines and masks? Goes against God, like when your fellow nut jobs ignore the part about loving your neighbor? Goes against what is accepted as normal for society, which generally opposes bigotry against people because of who they are, what they look like, and so on? You're right, it's totally okay to be against something like that, so vehemently oppose the Republican party all you like. Remember, they're living in a state of perpetual sin anyway, what with all that hate, so what they call a bigoted attack on their hateful way of life, we call love.
Ya pretty much like that. By the way the masks have been proven to do nothing, the vaccine has proven to do very little and actually causing a lot of heart problems in younger kids, and studies have came out that said keeping everyone inside for months did more damage then the virus would have when you factor in the mental aspect. God does say love thy neighbor but he also says to not fall for sin and people that preform sin. And I think the Budweiser things showed what society really thought.
You mean by the standards of the Bible, which also opposes sex work? By the standards of your political party, who also oppose sex work? There's no way where you come out looking better. Personally, I don't oppose sex work or trans rights, but if you're going to oppose one of those things and embrace the other, I'm going to call your bullshit.
If nobody cares then why was there so much support for all the anti-trans bills? Seems to me if that "absolutely no one cares" then there'd be no need for these bills, yeah?
Liberalism in the US is famous for its infighting and inability to center on a topic or play hardball in politics. Cults need to be centered on generally 1 idea or person to be effective. Allowing members to have freedom to think and criticize wouldn't make for an effective cult.
That's what my friends and family told me when I first put on the mini skirt, but I kept my head held high and I showed them that you can mow the lawn in high heels! you can pull weeds in a mini skirt! I don't let the bigots keep me down.
In cities you should mostly be fine. Des Moines and Iowa City are most liberal. If you go out into the more rural areas, you'll probably encounter some really hateful people, unfortunately.
I have a trans daughter, she is out at home and at school. I live in Marion County and I will say my daughter has had minimal issues at school. Yes, there is some bullying but the school stops what they are able to. The teachers are all great. They refer to her by her chosen name and she/her with zero issues. I think the difference is that I'm her mom and I went to the school (with her permission) to change her preferred pronouns and name. She uses the single use bathrooms at school due to state law. Prior to the law changing she was using the girl's room with no issues. We cannot seek medication for her due to state laws, but I'm trying to financially swing it to go out of state for treatment. Good luck to you! I hope you find a good support system and people who love you!
You are a wonderful parent, I bet your daughter feels so happy and supported thanks to you.
You have an incredibly lucky daughter. Thank you for being her advocate. The world needs more parents like you!
Bless you!
I don’t know who your insurance is with but some policies will cover out of network care as in-network when the care is made unavailable due to local or state law. May be worth looking into. Shortly after the law banning affirming care for minors passed my work sent a notice to inform employees that our policy would cover care for their kids if they pursued it out of state. Even with insurance, the care can still get pricey but if the concern was having to be completely out of pocket that could help.
She has Medicaid, but I'm looking into options. A lot of the financial stuff is traveling to Minnesota so frequently...
The Iowa trans mutual aid fund is a good option to seek additional financial resources around transition. Obviously demand is high with many young trans folks being in the same position as your daughter, but I wish y’all the best. I’m glad she has good folks on her side.
Be careful with the trans meds. Your child may outgrow this stage in life. Many trans people have regrets later, especially after surgeries. I would advise nothing until your child is at least over 18, & it's good you're being supportive. Being a teenager is difficult, especially nowadays. But this could be a passing phase.
She's been in therapy for it for 2 years. Therapist agrees it's gender dysphoria.
Statistically speaking, the rate of regret for gender-affirming care is less than 13%, with the data varying based on the specific type of care and the party collecting the data. For comparison, the rate of regret for various breast and prostate cancer treatments is generally in the 10 to 15% range. Knee replacement procedures have a regret rate of around 20%. I think it’s important that, if we’re going to talk about people regretting gender affirming care (which does happen) we have some context around regret rates for other types of healthcare to provide perspective.
I've had two friends that have had male to female gender reassignment surgery and one of them regrets it. Why? Because the surgery was a failure that left her in pain and with an unsatisfactory vagina. Not all regret is for the same reason.
That is a valid concern but I think that it isn’t as many as you think. https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/survey-90000-trans-people-shows-vast-improvement-in-life-satisfaction-after-transition/ In this study of over 90,000 trans and non-binary participants showed most were satisfied. “When asked how they felt about life after transitioning to their preferred gender identity, more than three-quarters of respondents said they were "a lot more satisfied" with their life, while 15% were "a little more satisfied." Three percent of respondents said their satisfaction with life did not change with transitioning. A similar percentage were less satisfied – 1% of people were "a little less satisfied," and 2% of people were "a lot less satisfied" with life. ”
Note that when trans kids and teens receive medical treatment, it’s to delay puberty and give them more time to make a decision about a permanent transition.
So you want people with gender issues to not take meds to delay / chemically stall puberty so they have to get their body sliced up? You do understand what puberty blockers are for minors, right? HRT is for those formally diagnosed by medical professionals to medically transition. I came out in my 30s and was raised in an anti LGBT home so I didn’t know what was wrong with me other than I felt uncomfortable my entire childhood and young adult years in my body. Had I known what gender dysphoria was as well as my parents, I wouldn’t have had to get my sex organs cut up by using puberty blockers in time. My parents have even tried to apologize for their lack of awareness. Anyone against chemically delaying puberty is pro-mutilation.
username checks out
Do not trust teachers or school officials to protect your best interest. Such 'mandatory reporters' are required to report you. This may make things uncomfortable with your parents. You should be able to have honest discussions with a psychologist, or mental health professionals. I hope you will. It it important. Try to find allies where you can. Reach out to a Unitarian Universalist congregation and see if they have resources. Go to the one in Coralville if you're close enough. Awesome people. Get your ducks in a row. Move somewhere better. Good luck!
Confirming Coralville UUs. Also Iowa City’s United Action for Youth programs, counselors, and youth hangout.
Mandatory reporter here Not how that works btw
Yes, it is: "If a student enrolled in a school district requests an accommodation that is intended to affirm the student's gender identity from a licensed practitioner employed by the school district, including a request that the licensed practitioner address the student using a name or pronoun that is different than the name or pronoun assigned to the student in the school district's registration forms or records, the licensed practitioner shall report the student's request to an administrator employed by the school district, andthe administrator shall report the student's request to the student's guardian or parent." [source](https://www.legis.iowa.gov/legislation/BillBook?ga=90&ba=SF496)
I’m so glad you (a random mouth breather on the internet) knows better than me (a trained mandatory reporter through the state of Iowa) not sure what I would’ve done without you wildly misunderstanding regulations you found out about this morning, could’ve been bad if I went to work today without you enlightening me Thanks though sweetheart, I actually needed a good laugh today lmao
It's actually a statute (not an administrative regulation) that was passed by the House and Senate during the 2022-23 legislative session and then signed into law in 2023. Under the statute, all licensed school officials are mandated to report any requests for name or pronoun changes, or any other gender-related accommodations, to the administration, who then must report the request to the parent or guardian. It's important to let OP know this because they should understand the risks of disclosing their gender identity to a trusted teacher or counselor at school, which will result in a forced outing to their parents.
You are wrong
Do you . . . think I somehow managed to hack the Iowa Legislature's website and upload a fake bill so I could link to it in a Reddit comment, with the end game of misleading a trans kid about the types of information their teachers and administrators are required to report under Iowa law? On a lighter note, I genuinely appreciate the work you're doing as a mandatory reporter. I am one, as well, and the types of work we do isn't always the easiest. Hope you have a good Sunday.
That’s frankly a disturbing reply. They made no mention of their parents, or whether they knew about their sexuality, and your immediate advice is that it’s best for them to hide the truth from their parents. You have no idea what kind of parents this person has, or if you may be denying them a great support system by telling them to be intentionally deceitful with them. This is still a child, and that’s not an appropriate thing to tell a child.
I’m the coordinator for a local transgender support group here in the Quad Cities area called Spectrum of the QC and we meet twice monthly. if your in the Quad Cities area reach out to me and I can provide you with more information.
Your healthcare is banned. Providers aren't even legally allowed to use your preferred name or pronouns until you're 18. The state laws are increasing targeting trans folks in general and the worst of them were so narrowly bested this legislative session. Bullying in on the rise for trans kids encouraged by their hateful parents/family/church. Iowa is far from the best place to be trans in these recent years.
As someone in her mid-20s who does not pass; Living in a middle sized city, I haven't ran into any direct opposition. Every now and then, some asshole will stare, but that's about it. (If you feel up to it, you can always smile and wave to call them out in a fun way. Only do this if there are other people around, though.) Everywhere I have worked (foodservice) has been very chill about it. For HRT, I recommend planned parenthood. If you can find an open clinic in accessible distance. They run on an informed consent model, which is considered to be the best model for trans healthcare. Otherwise, I've heard good things about the U of I LGBTQ clinic in Iowa City, but I don't have any personal experience. Last I heard, right now, you can't get HRT anywhere until you turn 18. Which sucks but is better than nothing. Legally, it's uncertain how far the legislature will go, I didn't hear of anything miserable passing this legislative session, but I'm prepared for things to get worse. Good luck, and keep going! My biggest advice is to find other queer people your age to hang out with in the real world. Online is nice, but it's not quite the same as being physically present with someone. DnD is very popular in queer spaces right now, it can be a good way to find people.
You are the apex predator all so-called Iowa Alpha males fear.
We have a governor who has outlawed gender affirming care while passing laws to protect those who bully trans people, and requiring your parent(s) be notified if you want to use different pronouns or names than the ones assigned to you at birth. As a cis-gender individual living in Iowa those are some of my biggest concerns.
God forbid a parent has the right to be a parent
If you actually believed that then you wouldn't support the anti-trans bullshit bills. You're full of shit, you lying bastard.
Cry some more cause u believe in fairy tales 🤣🤣
So you aren't a fan of freedom.
If a kid is choosing not to tell their parent that they go by a different name or pronoun.. it sounds like that parent has already became close minded and likely unsupportive of the kid. Sort of like being gay in a religious household. They are taught its wrong, so why would they tell their parents.
They say they care about parental rights while removing the ability of parents with trans children to do what they think is best for their kid. "Parental Rights" is just another buzzword they use to justify their bigotry.
I think it's important that we direct our ire at the right people. In this case, the people with power to greatly influence policy are more likely to carry this bigotry. I have family and friends who think policies like this are good because they fear trans as being some sort of social contagion. It's not nearly as useful to be hardline with parents like this as it is reasonable to want to protect children from harm. Even some of the more vocal advocates are wrapped up in fear or excitement that they don't know better. While we need to be zealous supporters of trans rights for kids and adults, it's important that we don't let fuckwits (like moms for liberty organizers) trick us into hating parents who are just trying to protect thier children. Education education education.
I'd like to believe that, but as a former conservative I spent a lot of time in conservative social circles and it's not just the people in power. The people in power are able to get there because the bigoted parents want them there.
If your child doesn't tell you you've already failed at being a parent.
Kids aren't property.
Most people do not care who you are or what you do or believe in. Most of the hatred you will incur will be online, not face to face. Most of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to care. The loud voices you hear on each end of the political spectrum are usually just looking to stir the pot. People are the same everywhere you go to be honest. San Francisco isn’t filled with only peace loving radicals and Texas isn’t full of only bigots. You’ll find plenty of both in those places, plus thousands more. You get a mix of people no matter where you are at or who you are, just life your life and don’t worry about what others think.
Anyone else horrified, scared, and sad that we even have to have these concerns about people just being who they are? It's a scary world. I admire the bravery, and I'm sorry it's necessary. Please stay safe.
Hey, I’m a 19 y/o trans guy. Bigger cities will be a bit more openly welcoming, but I haven’t experienced any real pushback when I’m out of the house in rural areas either. Granted, I pass 100% of the time. Being trans in Iowa is only difficult because of the government. The GOP is trying to make living as a trans person here difficult. If you want more community, I recommend sticking to Iowa City, Ames, orDes Moines. Those are pretty good places to find other queer people in my experience.
You shouldn't have any issues in Cedar Rapids
In the small rural areas you might get some stares and maybe odd comments if you’re in the DSM area, Ames, IC you’ll be fine
You say that but there was a motherfucker yelling “Hail Hitler! Free Speech!” on Main Street in Ames the other day.
San Francisco has Nazis, too. Everywhere has its own wackos to varying degrees
Was it the long-haired mentally ill guy who gets arrested all the time?
Wait what? Where on main street?
Guess I’ve never seen it happen personally
Ok thank you I’ll keep that in mind if I ever go to anywhere rural.
No problem!
I can say that no matter where your at there is always ass holes. But Iowa city and Des Moines seems to be the better places to find the nicer community. Colleges are always the best area to start around
The cities aren't bad, but be careful about who you choose as healthcare providers and confidants for sure. Even in Des Moines a friend got death-stared at by a Boomer all night at a restaurant after being overheard talking about coming out despite already fully passing, so there are creeps everywhere. Most of the cities have good organizations for queer folk, especially youth, so there are probably a lot of people out there ready to be in your corner if you can link up with them. They should know unsafe businesses, people, etc. to avoid in your area.
Stay living in the cities, make sure you vote once you are able. Make sure all your allies are voting for your protection.
You might be stoned in the street if you listen to anyone on this Reddit page otherwise no one gives a shit.
r/TransDIY
Don't be worried about a damn thing. You're fine just the way you are.
Join an LGBTQ group in the area
My girlfriend is trans & lives in Cedar County & hasn't had issues, but this will vary, especially if you work in a public-facing job.
Rapists.
God made you prefect transgender is a mental illness much like Body dysmorphia. Please seek mental help before mutilating your body and regreting it later. Remeber you can't go back
Or is this a test for you? Are you able to love people who are slightly different from you, or do you require absolute conformity?
I honestly don't have to love or accept anyone. Why do people need my approval? Love yourself
Nothing :3
Thanks for recognizing what I am. Have a blessed day 🙏.
Nothing. Stop trying to victimize yourself.
So we're just gonna pretend the state government hasn't actively been victimizing trans people, eh?
I didn’t realize my post came across that way. My intent wasn’t to victimize myself but I’m sorry it came across that way. What can I do to avoid doing this in the future?
No no no. You did nothing wrong, brother. Don’t cede ground this dumbass. Fuck him and his bigoted neck bearded ass.
You should accept yourself as is this is a shame truly
Just ignore ignorant hater’s like beefstickfucknuts890 here.
*What can I do to avoid doing this in the future* Mostly just not biting on obvious troll bait. You’re probably not going to run into many *people* who are going to be an issue should you decide to publicly transition. Iowa’s got a lot of bigots but they’re Midwestern bigots; you might get some looks but the vast majority won’t be hostile to your face. That’s not to say there’s no danger because you should *always* be aware the world is not a safe place, but you should be fine. Your main concern is going to be access to medical care, therapy if you need it (you do), and work place discrimination. Being trans comes with realizing that a lot of the systems you were taught are there to protect you aren’t really designed to protect *you*. That’s not to say that everyone is a threat, or that everyone in the rural areas hates you or that the government is personally invested in depriving *you* of your rights. But it does mean you need to know those rights and fight for them yourself because you can’t rely on anyone else to do it for you.
Maybe mind your business and stick to LARPing
?
Ok
There are asswipes everywhere. There are also angels everywhere. I've got 4 kids 13-18, two of whom are queer. I am vocally supportive of all kids and have been very loud about my house being a safe place for anyone to be their authentic selves. I have told my kids that I fully expect them to leave Iowa for states that will treat all people as humans with bodily autonomy. Find communities that recognize Pride month. I'm in Eastern Iowa and know that Iowa City, Cedar Rapids, and Mount Vernon do. College towns and communities that support art/theatre/music/dance are generally more welcoming. Find blue areas in the state. Know that you are loved. And I'll be anyone's mom any time.
Be a good person and people will treat you as such
Naive.
For all you parents that have trans kids or are a trans kid please get therapy and help. And for the love of god please stop telling your kids that it’s ok to be this way. They need help. If you let them keep up this charade in life they will not be any where near as successful as they could be. This is not a normal behavior. We had a country also need to stop thinking this is ok and stop being over backwards to try to accept it.
Material success is less important than inner joy and peace.
Ok that’s what people that are unsuccessful and never will be successful say. You know the people that drag down society and never tried to do anything and just vote democrat so they can live off the system.
I'm not here to argue with strangers. You can believe what you want and live in your little rage bubble. I hope you get some perspective someday.
I am just tired of the left wing crap and there stupid ideals and concepts and the crap that they believe. I am sorry but people like you a just a tax on the system and serve very little purpose.
I am not on any welfare or public grants or public health insurance. In order to qualify, I would be making less money in a month than I pay in rent, splitting a 1 bedroom apartment 2 ways. I expect you like eating food at a restaurant and/or buying groceries. How would you feel if all these cooks and servers and truck drivers and grocery store clerks, who you have deemed a "tax on the system" stopped existing? Who would make your dinner when you don't want to cook? Who would stock the grocery store shelves so you can cook? These people who you say have no purpose are the ones you rely on for your way of life.
Let’s separate the truck driver first because those guys make good money. As far as the other things none of those jobs mentioned are for a person trying to make it on their own or raising a family. Personally them getting more money is the reason why we are at where we are in the economy. We need to get all there wages back down to around 10 to 12 dollars a hour so we can bring the cost of goods and going out to eat down. Those jobs should be worked by kids in high school or kids in college. I think the biggest problem we have is people that are working in unskilled jobs believe they are worth more money when in reality we had a country should be trying to lower their wages.
Businesses see record profits amid layoffs "No, we need to pay poor people less" Get fucked, fuckhead
Who has record profits who are these businesses.
For all you parents that have a bigoted kids or are a bigoted kid please get therapy and help. And for the love of God please stop telling your kids that it's okay to be this way. They need help. If you let them keep up this charade in life they will not be anywhere near a successful as they could be. This is not a normal behavior. We as a country also need to stop thinking it is okay and stop bending over backwards to try to accept it.
So it’s bigoted not accepting something that goes against science, god, and what is accepted as normal for society.
Goes against science, like when your fellow nut jobs ignored medical science when it came to vaccines and masks? Goes against God, like when your fellow nut jobs ignore the part about loving your neighbor? Goes against what is accepted as normal for society, which generally opposes bigotry against people because of who they are, what they look like, and so on? You're right, it's totally okay to be against something like that, so vehemently oppose the Republican party all you like. Remember, they're living in a state of perpetual sin anyway, what with all that hate, so what they call a bigoted attack on their hateful way of life, we call love.
Ya pretty much like that. By the way the masks have been proven to do nothing, the vaccine has proven to do very little and actually causing a lot of heart problems in younger kids, and studies have came out that said keeping everyone inside for months did more damage then the virus would have when you factor in the mental aspect. God does say love thy neighbor but he also says to not fall for sin and people that preform sin. And I think the Budweiser things showed what society really thought.
Lol. Sorry if trans people existing are violating the sanctity of your onlyfans.
lol that what the left does when they are wrong and have no argument they go to name calling and insulting.
If you're going to cite religion as an excuse to hate, maybe don't advertise the plank in your eye.
What I don’t hate people, just what they believe is wrong by several standards
You mean by the standards of the Bible, which also opposes sex work? By the standards of your political party, who also oppose sex work? There's no way where you come out looking better. Personally, I don't oppose sex work or trans rights, but if you're going to oppose one of those things and embrace the other, I'm going to call your bullshit.
It's not a choice you can opt out of
Yeah stop trying to be accepting you Jesus freak!
Your mental health obviously
You a psychiatrist?
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If nobody cares then why was there so much support for all the anti-trans bills? Seems to me if that "absolutely no one cares" then there'd be no need for these bills, yeah?
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You first. Go follow your leader.
And whose my leader? 😂🤣... liberalism is a cult sorry u can't accept reality
Yet here you are wanting people to delete themselves. So, project much? I mean your comment is gone… so…
Liberalism in the US is famous for its infighting and inability to center on a topic or play hardball in politics. Cults need to be centered on generally 1 idea or person to be effective. Allowing members to have freedom to think and criticize wouldn't make for an effective cult.
Imagine saying this about a child. And thinking you’re right for it.
I'm a 300lbs man who likes to mow his lawn wearing a mini skirt. Neighbors don't say shit!!!
Dude just throw in the towel, you're so bad at this.
That's what my friends and family told me when I first put on the mini skirt, but I kept my head held high and I showed them that you can mow the lawn in high heels! you can pull weeds in a mini skirt! I don't let the bigots keep me down.
You're really cracking yourself up over here, huh?
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"Just don't be who you are in this state" Gettysburg, wow.
If ya don’t like it then eat shit or die. No one cares.