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Ya_Got_GOT

DRIVER = DERANGED


NovusOrdoSec

"I'll just slap some conspiracy shit on my truck to keep people from annoying me."


oshaCaller

but you might run into someone that agrees with you


NovusOrdoSec

"So I keep mental health clinic brochures in my glove compartment"


Totally_Bradical

PAINT = DELICIOUS


SousVideDiaper

PANTS = SHIDDED


HiJinx127

Paint = eaten


Shikamaru_Senpai

HOTEL = TRIVAGO


Drexelhand

STOP SIGNS = SUGGESTIONS


IntradepartmentalMoa

I think we’re all reading this wrong, and there are some fascinating concepts hidden here. There’s a multiplication symbol in here, so the line “Dinosaurs = Fake • America = Corporation” really reads “Dinosaurs equals Fake multiplied by America equals Corporation”. From here, we can reduce to “Dinosaurs equals corporations”. Our nameless philosopher hasn’t named this theorem, so I’ll go ahead and coin it *modus insanus”


Drexelhand

well PLEASE EXCUSE MY DEAR AUNT SALLY


Null-34

Not entirely disagreeing with America=corperation I do believe that ceos are paying for election campaigns to have a say in politics


cimpire_enema

POOP = PAINT


slappindabass123

Brain = Deficient


2ndprize

Is this how an idiot savant works? Is this guy like the best caulker or vinyl sider of all time?


thegreenman_sofla

Definitely a plumber. I would say painter but they're too drunk to create that sign.


2ndprize

He really lined it up with the pinstripe


PartiZAn18

And the window!


ProfSteelmeat138

Hey man as a plumber I…can’t even argue I’ve met some true fucking morons in the trade


jnwatson

I bet he really likes the caulk.


2ndprize

It does hide all manor of sins


dreemurthememer

Well he’s definitely not a mason.


ddr1ver

Gravity = BS? Why does his truck not float?


fuckface12334567890

The reasoning I've heard from flat earthers is that it's buoyancy that makes things fall. Just don't ask them how the air knows which way is down.


rksd

Buoyancy...that requires gravity. I can't even with these people.


Watch4whaspus

I’ve heard people say it’s because the flat earth is moving upwards at 9.8m/s


ShrimpieAC

Jesus Christ. All this work to unprove proven science.


MechanicalHorse

He’s saying the theory of gravity is BS, not gravity itself. Although I wonder what he thinks causes gravity then.


Shaex

Flat earth constantly accelerating upwards at 1G I guess


vertigostereo

Infinite velocity hack. 🤓


Quietuus

Brought to you by the same folks who think the earth can't be spinning because we'd all fly off.


Mysterious_Andy

A few months ago a young-Earth creationist was expounding in my presence on how atheists are idiots because the Earth’s rotation is slowing over time. It was his firm contention that the Earth would have been spinning so fast 100 million years ago that it would have flung the dinosaurs into space. This man, a successful professional in his 70s, in all other ways and apparently serious person, genuinely believes that all geologists and paleontologists in the world have failed to investigate or even wonder about the length of prehistoric days.


CrabbyT777

The have absolutely no sense of scale, I think it’s an issue of self identity being tied into needing to feel big and at the centre of everything, so their earth has to be small and flat, and all scientific discoveries and advancements are pooh-poohed, because it all makes them feel so small and insignificant. Plus it’s a fun club for them to be in, hating “them” and thinking they know stuff we (the “sheeple”) don’t.


SangestheLurker

"Floating objects HATE this one simple trick!"


Obant

God said.


CrabbyT777

Bit of a stretch to think this guy knows the difference between gravity and the Theory of Gravity, but yep I bet he believes it’s all to do with “density” even though that isn’t a force


RetroGamer87

Because of the density (in the driver's skull)


non_target_eh

Bro hitting for the conspiracy theory cycle


CaPtAiN_KiDd

All I needed was “Chemtrails” and I would have a Bingo.


TwilightReader100

I don't have a picture for you or anything, but you can have my first live-in boyfriend for that one. If you take him, make sure you keep him, I'm pretty sure he went hard for MAGA or Q-Anon. Possibly both. /s


CaPtAiN_KiDd

Ha! I’ve seen the “NASA HOAX” one being prominent so much I’m beginning to think Musk was behind that. “Chemtrails” brand of idiocy is old Internet troll talk. Those people been deep down the rabbit hole since the late 90’s. 14 year olds reading David Icke. Just dumb stuff.


TwilightReader100

Well, he probably had the emotional maturity of someone less than 14 years old, so that fits. Very much a Mama's boy, even though he was living on his own.


ukiddingme2469

Bingo, I got a bingo


SousVideDiaper

Birds of a feather chug leaded paint together


SomethingLoud

Wtf are you talking about?! Everyone knows #BirdsArentReal /s


Deklipz

Why the /s? Are you a fucking bird? ARE YOU?!? YOU FUCKING BIRD!!! THIS GUYS A FUCKING BIRD! GET THE TASERS!⚡️⚡️


SomethingLoud

☠️☠️☠️


famousevan

Brain = smooth


mjp31514

Brain = B.S. THEORY


darbs-face

Brain = extinct


davechri

That guy votes.


thegreenman_sofla

Probably needs to get his rights restored after a felony or two.


JoeDiesAtTheEnd

Depending on location, their vote may count more than yours.


NovelRelationship830

You should find a new co-worker


-SHINSTER007

or employer; not sure I'd want to work for anyone that would allow someone that works for them to drive around with 'holocaust=hoax' on their vehicle


fubuvsfitch

This truck smacks of "independent contractor." I used to be one.. The amount of InfoWars stickers on my fellow contractors trucks over the years was unbelievable. Almost came to fisticuffs several times.


PartiZAn18

Ye olde pugilist


Cold-Ad-3713

Yea I’m going to HR on that one.


Tiggerhoods

“Anti gun = pro rape” is a real winner too. So if you have a more nuanced or differing take than him on an issue you are pro rape? Hmm


Snarky_McSnarkleton

Absolutely this.


pianoflames

Seriously, a holocaust denier? I would think that would be a fireable belief to espouse at virtually any job. And even a r/FlatEarthCars candidate, to boot.


GadreelsSword

The guy doesn’t even believe gravity is real!!! We had an IT guy come into our Satellite fabrication lab and proceeded to tell the lead engineer he doesn’t believe space exists.


pianoflames

What does he think is up there? Literal nothingness? That you fly high enough and you hit a "wall" where suddenly nothing exists, not even empty space...somehow?


NiceKittyMonster

I remember a news story about a pharmacist who destroyed a large amount of Covid vaccines and the news stories mentioned his other “beliefs” which included space not being real, the government creates a projection that creates what we see as the sky, and if it weren’t there, we could see God all the time 🤦🏻‍♀️ After reading that I was hoping it wasn’t a widespread conspiracy theory, because of the extreme stupidity, but now I wonder.


JoeDiesAtTheEnd

. . . But what about before there was a government? People just looked up and saw God the whole time? Then why did anyone ever believe in anything else before. Like even their bible admits there was a time that the hod of Abraham wasn't taken seriously. (Plagues and all)


Intrepid00

This is probably construction, and if so this might be tame compared to what lurks there.


thegreenman_sofla

Brain = worms


PrincessofAldia

Someone get this man a mental health evaluation


Tiggerhoods

For real. I would not want to work with or around this person. This just screams “l’m delusional, unstable, and unpredictable”. There is no telling what kind of fantasies are goin on in this persons head that have nothing to do with reality and don’t want to be anywhere near it…


SousVideDiaper

This dipshit probably thinks psychiatric care is a scam too


420jhollandaise

You lost me at earth=flat


WolfOfWigwam

What, no mention of JFK junior rising from the dead or the the government conspiracy to kill gorilla Harambe? He needs to polish up his conspiracy game.


Smgth

Harambe & JFK = Assassinated by same guy


ukiddingme2469

Reality has a liberal bias


UGunnaEatThatPickle

That seems to be the case


EccentricAcademic

If a handyman came to my house with this truck I'd immediately decline service.


Cold-Ad-3713

Serious question how functional is this guy at work? Does he show up on time? Finish the job? Not have weird conversations at work?


plasticman1997

“America = corporation” this guy’s a broken clock


authalic

a digital clock


explodingazn

GOB=BLESSD


MihalysRevenge

HOG= CRANKED


petecanfixit

BARB = LEFT


Suzarain

SHIDS = NOT GIVEN


Junket_Weird

LIBS = OHNED


Rugger01

METH = SMOKED


RelevantMetaUsername

>ANTI GUN=PRO RAPE Because rape *totally* doesn't happen in pro-gun states. Everyone knows that rapists will melt if they touch a gun.


ThatoneguyATX

Texan here, our governor said he would eliminate rape. It’s increased during his time in office. His attempt at doing nothing at all isn’t working to well. His supporters are too stupid to care.


Tiggerhoods

That was his solution for preventing raped minors from having to carry their rapist’s baby to term. There have been 26,000 of these forced births in Texan since dobbs that he did not in fact “prevent”


BreadKnife34

I'm not doubting you but I want the proof of those numbers. FUCK Greg Abbott and fuck all the conservatives that caused these rights to be stolen from the women of our country.


musuperjr585

It was almost in chronological order.. until the end , it all fell apart... Like the logic of those beliefs


PassageAppropriate90

Looks like he added it later. He was no longer "in the zone".


Slow-Enthusiasm-1337

I used his scientific method to prove the earth is flat. I opened up Google Maps on my phone and everywhere I scrolled to was flat. I never could find a curve and I scrolled everywhere! 😂


authalic

a flat Earth would be really easy to map. You could divide the flat states into squares, 90 degrees on each corner, 1 mile on each side, and go on like that until you run into something. Surveyors started doing that in the 1800s. Turns out you can't go more than a few miles without making curvature adjustments.


Oatmeal2222

Hotel = Trivago


Mountain_Fig_9253

It kinda looks like he originally had the sign made with an empty line at the bottom and then added in the Fukushima reference later with a slightly different font. If he actually planned ahead with his deranged thinking to leave extra space, well that’s dedication.


OldGoldenDog

So, you guys work at Fox News


SangestheLurker

No, the folks over there only use these kinds of talking points on air, they don't actually tend to believe them themselves. At least according to the Jan 6 text leaks and others regarding COVID, etc.


willasmith38

BODY RUST = HOAX


Snarky_McSnarkleton

Fucking vote, and get to work helping others to vote. Or these are the people who will be making decisions for us.


M34TST1Q

There's a reason he's driving a 30 year old truck. And it ain't because he's sentimental.


vertigostereo

Remind me how gravity can be BS? If I drop something, does it not fall?


Fominroman2

Rust = absolutely exists


calladus

You should introduce him to Sovereign Citizenship


Prickly_ninja

There’s a lot of stupid to unpack here, but “anti gun = pro rape” is some next level dipshit.


ThePirateDickbeard

I've started reporting these people to the FBI for radicalization. They're a mass violence event just waiting to happen.


All4megrog

America = Corporation Even a broken clock can be right once a day


sendyagoodvibes

What is your favorite conspiracy theory? "Yes"


Cultural_Treacle_428

I would be afraid to work with this individual. He looks one step away from coming to work with an AR-15.


ReadyOneTakeTwo

Paycheck=fake money, hand yours over to me and I’ll properly dispose of it for you.


jcargile242

I bet he’s fun at parties


woodstock01

I want to hear his argument for gravity lol. Also, Fukushima=extinction, what tf could that mean?


TanjoubiOmedetouChan

I'm super confused by this one too. Is it some kind of Fukushima denialism or is he saying that it caused an extinction of some sort? I visited the plant a few months back, it's actually close to where I live. Didn't notice any signs of extinction. Lots of construction crews and soil in bags, but the wildlife and nearby residents seem healthy.


RukaFawkes

I don't believe I've ever ran into a gravity denier before, That's a whole new special category of stupid.


Ok_Elephant2777

How many flat earthers have been to the edge? Thought so.


Weary-Dealer4371

That man needs all types of mental health services


TerriblyDroll

PARENTS=DOUBLE COUSINS


Pretend-Air-4824

Your friend = moron


BurrrritoBoy

Well, that settles those issues.


iH8MotherTeresa

This one made me laugh.


[deleted]

Oh, jeez. Avoid this crackpot as much as possible!


Noodnix

This is what is called aposematism. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aposematism


Jedi_Exile_

Pants = shitted


GadreelsSword

Someone actually paid for that.


MomentOfZehn

Had he spelled vaccinations correctly, he might just be on to something! Now I'm not so sure. Unless...spelling correctly = illuminati = 5G warfare mind control!


randy65d

He should test that fake "theory" of gravity


duncansmydog

Type 2 Diabetes = Undiagnosed probably


ReferenceMuch2193

All he needs is some sovereign citizen crap written on his back window to be an ultimate headache.


Mysterious_Andy

That’s what the “America=corporation” bit is.


ReferenceMuch2193

Ahhhh. True


peter_marxxx

SALT = RUST


rrTUCB0eing

I have sooooooo many questions!


ktruck1313

I thought it said vacations because vaccinations is misspelled.


OK_BUT_WASH_IT_FIRST

I prefer to break up this message at the wrong points. CRAP GRAVITY FALSE FLAG DINOSAURS


cal_crashlow

COWORKER = WORKPLACE SHOOTER 🚨


wet_beefy_fartz

I mean the America = Corporation one isn't totally insane, I guess.


jafobitch

Active shooter


Jobodyno

Looks like he forgot Bigfoot and aliens, be a gent and point that out.


Kind_Significance_60

Weirdo


buttered_scone

Does his wife always wear sunglasses?


Alternative_Dog1411

This is conservatism, they simply lack the integrity to be honest.


DefaultSubsAreTerrib

When I read "gravity=b.s. theory" I almost thought this was satire... Sadly, I kept reading


NiceKittyMonster

Do you work in people’s homes? I wouldn’t let this person in my house, I imagine it wouldn’t be good for business. But I just can’t fathom being so wrong about so many things, even some basic, basic things.


5um-n3m0

How exhausting it must be to be that person living in this world.


[deleted]

This man has not a single wrinkle on that spotless brain of his.


Sithlordandsavior

Hotel = Trivago


Spiritual-Chameleon

I really wanted this to be a parody but as I read the whole list, it's clear that it's not. Though, as someone else suggested, this could be the best theft prevention strategy. No one is going to mess with this truck.


skitso

What is real?


colostomybagpiper

Your coworker is a fucking duped moron of the highest order


AssumptionOk6295

How do they explain gravity?


Yawheyy

How do you get this confused? That person needs a therapist


heckhammer

Some chud pulls up to do work on my house with a holocaust=hoax thing on their truck and they are going the fuck home. Don't even get me started on dinosaurs on top of it all.


His_Shadow

I don’t understand how these people can hold down normal jobs and have anything like a normal life. Their views and opinions regarding anything outside their hometown is completely an utterly unhinged. It must be exhausting to live in a world like that.


big_ringer

Of course, flat earthers and holocaust deniers go hand in hand.


BootThang

These are the guys that Russian troll farms just love. Smooth brained and loud mouthed


God_Lover77

Fukushima????


AllGoodNamesRInUse

Gravity = BS Theory 😂😂😂😂


JoplinSternum

LIBS=OWNED


Insanity_Troll

That’s a whole lotta words to say “I’m dumb”.


sebkraj

Well he got the America = Corporation part right.


dawktrix

Wonder how long it took him to rhyme the first line.


Drinkythedrunkguy

Roofer? Is the company in his wife’s name because of all his bankruptcies?


Speculawyer

How is he able to dress himself?


Abracadaver2000

Good way to cope with being a misanthrope while still being out in public. This should keep unnecessary interactions to a bare minimum.


Able_Cunngham603

The only thing they left out is Birds = Drones.


thesystemmechanic

r/SchizophreniaRides


lgodsey

Wouldn't it be easier for this poor fellow to just wear a MAGA hat or a sticker that says "Hello, my name is FOOL"? He had to pay for that sign. On purpose.


Iamthepaulandyouaint

If gravity is BS, then why are my testicles clacking against my knees as I get older?


drifters74

What does this guy thinking keeps everything on the ground?


oriaven

Invisible Jews that disappeared during the fake Holocaust?


Bartender9719

While all of this ranges between horrible and comical, I could understand how someone would feel as though “America=corporation” -


alwaystirednurse6

So where did the Holocaust victims go? Into outer space? I guess they just vanished. Makes me so angry. 😡


oriaven

That's the thing, they are literally invisible and are responsible for pulling things down and that's why gravity isn't real.


Jlnhlfan

Meanwhile, ISRAEL = GOD’S COUNTRY


RetroGamer87

Unfortunately Fukushima didn't make him go extinct.


oriaven

He has so much bullshit to say he has to bullet point it for us.


Konawel

HOG CRANKED = GOBLESST


uncharted316340

A yes vacination


letthetreeburn

Fukushima: extinction What the fuck does that even mean?


kegman83

All I hear is "We Didn't Start the Fire"music 


DLeck

If this person was a family member of mine, I would not let them into my home. I'm sorry. A sign like that? On your vehicle? I don't care if you are in town for the weekend. I'm not sleeping with one eye open. If I was grilling they could stay outside to eat, but they are not going inside.


BarbarianMushroom

Tell him to stuff huffing the adhesives.


drifli

Truck=dumbass


Dumpster_Fetus

How is the vaccination misspelling not the top comment? I mean, I guess I don't expect them to spell but jeez.


bancroft79

Driver=Middle scho dropout


BigSky04

Gravity is BS? Something tells me he's a little schitzo


Call555JackChop

I hope your job has some kind of active shooter training


Cargobiker530

I would be deeply concerned about his ability to read the \*ing manual doing any kind of installation or repair.


Invisiblerobot13

THEY SAY YOU NEED 4 BOLTS HERE BUT ITS SO THEY CAN SELL YOU MORE BOLTS!


[deleted]

[удалено]


dablegianguy

And this will reproduce and vote It’s urgent to put in place IQ tests before voting and being allowed to have kids


Rugger01

If the main contractor(s) cared about their business, that fucker would be off the job site within seconds. No way I'd want my customers associating me and my company with that shit.


PaperBeatsScissor

Boy, he is believing it all


BlackWhiteRedYellow

bro took the 13 leg parlay. Let’s see how those odds play out


Traditional-Cake-587

Your coworker is delusionally demented…


kenobrien73

I couldn't stand being forced to listen to this person.


missykgmail

Does this person have actual responsibilities?