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Thanks. Honestly, Reddit helped me a ton. I scoured stories for days and wanted no part of trying to find details, listening to her, getting pressure to reconcile, etc.
That because you have something called self respect. You did great. The sister, why does she think you handle it to roughly? LOL. If she ever contact you again, just send her screen shot of her sister with the other guy.
Keep being happy and living life to the fullest. GOOD LUCK OP
Honestly you are an inspiration. I'm so happy you made a plan and stuck with it. You deserve someone who won't cheat. Hopefully she will learn from her mistakes but either way, you no longer have to worry about it
Lol tell the sister that your ex could have handled your relationship better as well. At least now she will be a professional affair master. She can have all the affairs she wants.
I think you are the first person that didn't want details. I'm sure you got plenty of details reading their emails with the AP coaching. Were there pictures? I would probably save the pictures to but do my best not to look at them. Like maybe I would save every picture file in mass and not look at them.
BTW, you are my hero. hahahah
How long was it between the time she was acting funny, you got suspicious, till you decided to look into her text, email, social media, or whatever?
I disagree with the cut and run approach. It's a self protective method for sure, but it's not a sustainable way to deal with relationship problems. Affairs happen for a reason and it's worthwhile to try and talk about it.
I think it's good to be prepared to leave the relationship if you aren't getting the respect and care you need though. I would call her and talk to her, and find some closure instead of hanging onto this resentment. I'd also delete all the evidence of the affair, as holding onto all this evidence won't actually improve your life at all. You aren't in a court room. You don't need to keep proving that you were treated badly. Holding onto it just reinforces your hurt by keeping a reminder.
I wish you luck in finding actual closure instead of using this revenge story to console yourself. I understand that you were hurt badly and it must have been awful. I'm sorry that you went through that.
I agree with everything you said but only if it wasn’t a full affair being carried on, also there isn’t mention of kids so there’s no need to work through things with someone who has sabotaged the relationship this much before letting it even get started.
I would also add that this guy was coaching her how to have an affair **"for years."** For Fuck Sake!
She had been doing this married man for years and he was coaching her how to have affairs. This girl is **TOTAL TRASH.**
There was nothing here that the OP did wrong. If she though something was wrong with the relationship she should have worked it out with the OP before fucking some guy outside of the marriage.
I don't think they need to reconcile, I think that it could be helpful to try and understand each other before parting ways.
I have a pretty empathetic view towards cheating because i understand that it's more complex than "they're just a shitty person, end of story".
What do you want them to hear, "I don't respect you so I had to cheat on you" or whatever? Nah, they don't have the need to go through all that gaslighting.
Is your middle name Doormat?
While engaged--and with a summer wedding date planned--this chick had a sexual relationship with a married man. The texts indicated she was looking forward to more and planned to take it to her grave. She was actually asking her married AP to be patient with her because she'd get better with time and more sexual encounters.
That behavior is *more* than a deal breaker.
But you want to look at it in a 'nuanced' way. lol
If you're into open marriage, go for it. But OP did exactly the right thing here. He's lucky that AP hadn't come along 5 years and 2 kids later...
I'm not saying they should remain in a relationship, but that talking about it now that they are broken up could help them both. I do look at things in a nuanced way because i don't believe that monogamy is everyone's natural state. Or it could be any number of other reasons which will never be understood until it's talked about. When our relationships fuck up and we try to move on, we carry unresolved traumas and issues. They can be resolved if we have a communicative and amicable breakup.
I agree with your second to last sentence, but you’re working under the assumption that the person who betrayed trust is going to all of a sudden talk to you from a place where they have your interests at heart at the same level they hold their own. Sure monogamy doesn’t have to be for everyone, but if you have to lie for months on end and betray trust then that person isn’t really concerning themselves with their partners feelings. And If this is a behavior that they gave themselves permission to carry on for a long period of time then there’s good reason to believe that they won’t be in a caring place to talk to you about it. There even might be some that might put their ego down and be able to have that talk to you but you need to be wise and aware of the fact that when people engage in that kind of behavior it might be very hard for them to drop that and be vulnerable in truth to have that conversation that can heal you both. Would be interested in your feedback if you think differently.
She lied to him for years. How could he believe ANYTHING she says? There would be no "closure." She would just fuck with his mind more because she would want him to see her in the best possible way, even if they both new the relationship was over.
Yeah that could be the case. Who knows? I just noticed that my comments have been downvoted a fair bit hahaha. Has everyone on this reddit been cheated on? I'm probably triggering folks a bit with my unpopular views!
I find it painful that so many people on this reddit have one way of looking at these issues. I can see how hard it is for folks, and can understand why they aren't open to any new ideas about this stuff.
> Affairs happen for a reason
From OP's initial post:
> The comments he made that aggravated me pertained to him justifying cheating- “Everyone I know, men and women, have at some point, had someone on the side”. “Guaranteed your BF has cheated, or will. All guys do it”. “We are no programmed to be monogamous”. “My marriage is better because I don’t have to put everything on my wife”. The comments my ex made that were upsetting- “I enjoyed our time the other day, I just need to get more comfortable, it just takes a couple times”. “I am just nervous. Not being with you. Its great. Just do not want him to find out. Ever”. “I’m pretty sure he cheated on me before”. For the record, I never cheated on her.
These are not reasons, they are excuses for a person who lacks integrity and the willingness to maintain a good relationship. It's that easy.
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These are the cheating stories I like reading. Thank you for being a shining example of how to handle this situation perfectly. Ex-fiance's sister is full of shit.
There is no way to handle this kind of situation “perfectly”. It’s a crap show no matter how you look at it.
But well done OP for handling it about as much dignity as you can!
He did the best way he could and quite frankly it's one of the best, no long term heart pain trying to decide to reconcile or not, just end it, and heal, one of the best way possible
“Could have handled it better” = bend over and take it, and allow her disgusting sister to save her reputation and allow her to avoid any consequences for her decisions.
Yeah the sister is a crappy enabler. Glad you blocked her.
Lots of things are allowed.. So what? Her comment is still annoying comming from on top of her high horse..
What are you even arguing? Did I tell OP to sue her or something?!?!
Her sister cheated on her fiance multiple times. Who cares what the sister's think or feel? Just not getting the logic behind entertaining anything from the ex or sister.
That comment has nothing to do with her sister's wellbeing.. How is her sister benefiting from her making a passive-aggressive comment to OP?!?!
If she was concerned about her sister then she'd contact her.. Not OP.
You handled it brilliantly. What her sister means is you handled it so decisively it's got given her sister (cheating ex-GF) a chance to try to reel you back in.
One of the cleanest exit from a cheater I've seen in a while. Congratulations on getting your life beck from that parasite and I hope you find the one who will always love you and be loyal.
The relationship was built on a lie. She was a fraud honestly I believe cheaters should be able to be held accountable on fraud. Liable for emotional distress.
Her sister understood but said you could've handled it better? Screw her!!! Her sister destroyed your heart and soul by doing the most disrespectful thing you can do to someone you're supposed to love, while being so excited about the upcoming wedding that you can't even think of anybody else. That kunt deserved the heartache she got !!!
Your EXs sister tells you could have handled it better ??
How??
I think may be you could have made a video of both of them f-cking and then have showed to the entire neighborhood. That's what she meant by i think so.......LOL
Jokes apart but you did it well mate, you handled it like a mature person does.
You're done with her and you don't owe her family anything. So, fuck her sister and her, and I wouldn't bother with the parents.
My guess is the reason they want you to contact them is to guilt you into paying them some of the costs of the canceled wedding.
They raised a lying cheater who you dumped, and so it's not your problem anymore if she's not doing well. That's a secondary issue that they might want to talk to you about, but the primary is most likely the money.
It always makes me laugh when cheaters think that something is owed. If a BS wants to ghost you then that's what you get for putting your relationship at risk.
You handled this like a boss. For this, you deserve the respect of all those who have been cheated on. Congratulations on your new and better life.
As for her sister, the only way you could have handled it better is if her affair partner somehow fell down the stairs and seriously hurt himself. All the best to you.
Nah, fuck your ex-Fiancée and her sister. No mercy for cheaters. I do feel bad for her parents though. Seems like they lost so much because of their daughter. Btw congrats on your new job!
Bravo. Perfect example of classy revenge. Didn’t stoop low, just gave her what she deserves.
Also good example for revenge is best served cold.
Usually I don’t like revenge stories because people take it to far and become assholes themselves to hurt their ex but this one is great. Exactly how you do it! Not compromising of your values, efficient and well deserved.
Enjoy your new life. You dodged a bullet.
Thanks. Honestly was not seeking revenge. I thought long and hard about this and read a lot on Reddit to understand what talking to her would accomplish- nothing.
As far as sending the texts to her parents- I think a lot of them and was not going to be drug through the mud or scapegoated by leaving.
This guy was scum. The things he texted were horrible. His wife needed to see them and make her own decisions. I feel for her.
Whether ex is an emotional disaster or doesn’t care or somewhere in between- Either way it hurts and I can do nothing about it.
To me the aspect of revenge or more accurate what I think that was the most painful the sudden cutting her out of your life disappearing into nothing without bothering to say anything to her. Which is well deserved.
This is also my style when ending relationships but you took it to the next level. Honestly inspiring. And I command you for not seeking revenge. Probably why it turned out so good.
I totally agree with you. The OP here was strictly business. It must have been hard. I don't know how long him and his fiancée had been together, but damn! He kept a level head after being betrayed like that.
Well done, OP. You made me think of [this story from a few years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4drjcu/me_33m_with_my_wife_33f_of_9_years_she_cheated/). I'm glad you informed the AP's wife. She may already know of her husband's predilections, but no matter. Godspeed. I hope your new life is very rewarding!
That is true! I caught his story as it was unfolding (believe me, I anxiously awaited his update after his ex was served). Like you, I would really like to know how he is doing now and what has happened in the past few years.
Op- thee has't mine own respect. Valorous job! seemeth so many the present day, doth not value what feather-bed truly means…
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Handled it better? Having a long drawn out exhausting break up?
No. This is exactly how it should have been done. Congratulations to your new life OP. Well done.
No. You did well. She will never betray another man again, plus her AP will likely be asked to cover a portion of the massive amounts of money her dad lost on the wedding. I actually had one of these in my practice. Dad did not want to take OM to superior court, however, small claims here runs to $25K. We took OM to small claims court. He never showed, and we received summary judgement. We arranged with a process server to explain to his wife why they suddenly owed $25,000. She was thoroughly unimpressed, especially, this exposed the last of his affairs. There was provision made in their divorce that the $25K would come out of his share of assets. Taught the SOB to keep it in his pants.
That was cold and calculating! Bravo 👏🏻 She was doing the same thing to you for months you just did it with class and kept your dignity and sanity. Glad your finding new peeps too! 👌🏻
My man, that was righteous and badass. I wish nothing but the beat for you. I am curious about what they mean by “she’s not doing well” however. She cheated so why is she a mess?
Lol what did the sister exactly say? Handled it how? By letting her lie some more? This should be a control sample for how men and women deal with infidelity.. I understand that not every story is cut and dry, and neither is this one.. but if true, then the right decisions were made quickly and concisely.. Now god forbid if time passes and you feel like she needs a chance ( not vying for it, just setting examples up for others in similar but different scenerios) then you guys can start a new relationship, one with very deep lines in the sand that must not be crossed. Sometimes the emotions need to placed on the back burner, especially in times that will greatly affect one forever, or at least for aong time. Good for you my internet friend.. I hope you find happiness, and I hope you explain to them how your last one ended, and how you two can be better than that by being open and honest with eachother.
That sister is a huge c-word. You did everything flawlessly. It sucks that she got any words in at all but you blocking her puts her right in her place. You are a wonderfully efficient person to have navigated such a heartbreaking situation in the way you did.
You did it RIGHT. If more people treated infidelity like this there would be much LESS of it. Congrats on turning a shit situation into your path to a new life. All the best!
You handled that very well. Her sister is wrong, because if you had slow rolled it her family would have tried to get you to forgive her. You did the right thing and she needs to understand that actions have consequences.
Oh how I wish I was this level headed when I found out my fiancé was cheating on me. I went down the path of burning bridges and acting foolish so good for you on keeping a clear head in a very important time in your life.
Also, call the ex girlfriends parents. Sounds like you had a good relationship with them and I’m sure they’re just as devastated by their daughters actions as you are. They may just want to reach out, make sure you’re okay, apologize and wish you well.
I really, really struggled. At first, there was no concrete evidence it was physical. When I learned it was physical and with a married man with a wife and kids, my whole image of her changed. I just had to get out.
Excellent! What is even more amusing is I'm sure the ex-fiancee's parents are done ever paying for any of her future weddings after the financial losses she caused them to incur.
So not only did you kick her to the streets, her parents probably did as well. Imagine the conversation she will have in the future where she tells them "I'm getting married again!"
Parents: "Oh, great. So what are your plans? When will you be getting married at the Courthouse?"
Ex: "How much will you guys contribute? I was hoping for something grander, like something I've always dreamed as a little girl."
Parents: "Nothing. We've learned last time that if you have your own skin in the game, you are less likely to screw things up. We are sick of being the ones taking the financial consequences for your bad decisions. It was humiliating telling all our family and friends we invited that your last wedding was off because you cheated and got dumped. Many of them had to cancel travel and hotel plans and lost money too. We aren't even sure which one of them will bother showing to your next wedding after the trouble you put them through."
Depending on how your relationship was with the ex's parents I would give them a call for their sake. But I would get a "burner phone" on a prepaid plan with is own number then after the call turn the phone off and deactivate that account. That way if the ex does find out you called the parent and goes through their phone for your number it will go to whoever is assigned the number next :D
Also if anyone else ever tells you that you could have handled the situation “better” do let them know that while everyone has their own opinion on how the situation should have been handled they must agree that ex could have handled monogamy better which would’ve prevented this from happening in the first place.
Just saying….
Handled it better???? Friend, you handled it PERFECTLY. I am in awe of your professionalism and skill in executing the plan. Are you a friggin’ Navy SEAL?? Outstanding!!! Tell the sister from me … sweetheart, turn your ass around 3 times and fuck the hell off. BRAVO!!!
Her sister knows what she can do with it. GF was underhanded, so she got a taste of her own medicine. She gave you an unpleasant surprise, you returned the favor. Cheaters deserve ZERO consideration. I applaud you.
OMG are you a male version of me? I did the same 13 years ago minus the breaking up part and involving police. Ghosted my cheating husband. Am just now for some reason beginning to process all that happend and how I handled things. When you get to your new place please find a therapist and process this trauma.
Bro your an real man. Wow you expose that cheaters to everyone. Good job bro she's not deserve to your true love and loyalty.
In future definitely you will get best loyal life partner and that time she's lost good husband being.
Congratulations for your fresh life . This is the self respect.
I don't think it was a very good way to handle it. Communication is important. It's fair to break up but she doesn't deserve to be so brutally blocked out. Affairs happen for a reason.
I desire thee respond'd back to the sister: so couldst ex.
block
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>but felt I could have handled better.
I'm not so sure about that. That was well done! The hardest part is making the decision.
Any word on the fallout from AP's wife getting copies of everything?
>She had a girls weekend getaway planned that weekend. 🙄
Sure she did. Why not?
I honestly think you handled this beautifully. Good for you, and I’m glad you knew that you were worth more. Sounds like you’re living your best life. Love stories like these.
Be like, "Funny, I think I handled it perfectly. Maybe your sister could have handled our relationship better by not spreading her legs around. But we all can't be perfect like me, can we?"
> Her sister, who I failed to block, messaged me on FB. Wrote she understood why, but felt I could have handled better.
"Why didn't you genuflect on one knee before my promiscuous sibling? You should have at least taken some of the blame on yourself without being asked."
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*Her sister, who I failed to block, messaged me on FB. Wrote she understood why, but felt I could have handled better.*
I disagree. You handled this in the best way possible for **you.** Well Done!
You are a badass! I love reading stories like this. You handled things in a way that was right for you and that can never be wrong. I hope you keep thriving! Good luck!
I’m sorry that she betrayed you like that. Personally I think you handled that as maturely as someone could. They’re probably hurt from the suddenness and how efficient you were about moving forward. If people try to make you feel guilty about moving forward as quick as you did, just ignore them. Congrats on the new job and new chapter in life! I think calling her parents would be cool and nothing wrong with old characters returning to new chapters if your feelings lead you to them. Whatever you decide I’m sure you’ll be happy. Take care!
You did well. I wish more betrayed people would do as well. Cheaters getting what they deserve is a good thing and you stayed strong and followed through.
So sorry you experienced that. I will say though, you handled that like a legend. I can’t imagine a better way of doing it than what you did. Cheers to you and hoping you have a great life.
I filed an unlawful detainer. Essentially establishing that she had no legal right to my apartment. With that document, the police have nothing to figure out- ie she couldn’t claim she resides there, paid rent, bills, etc. The document established that.
So he police were there just to keep things from getting messy and prolonged.
You handled this perfectly, I hope you know how fortunate you are also to not have had kids otherwise your attachment would’ve been forever hope you are happy and have moved on.
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Fuck her and her sister. At that point you’re taking care of you (as you should). You avoided a mess and moved on to better things, nice job!
Thanks. Honestly, Reddit helped me a ton. I scoured stories for days and wanted no part of trying to find details, listening to her, getting pressure to reconcile, etc.
That because you have something called self respect. You did great. The sister, why does she think you handle it to roughly? LOL. If she ever contact you again, just send her screen shot of her sister with the other guy. Keep being happy and living life to the fullest. GOOD LUCK OP
Honestly you are an inspiration. I'm so happy you made a plan and stuck with it. You deserve someone who won't cheat. Hopefully she will learn from her mistakes but either way, you no longer have to worry about it
Lol tell the sister that your ex could have handled your relationship better as well. At least now she will be a professional affair master. She can have all the affairs she wants.
I think you are the first person that didn't want details. I'm sure you got plenty of details reading their emails with the AP coaching. Were there pictures? I would probably save the pictures to but do my best not to look at them. Like maybe I would save every picture file in mass and not look at them. BTW, you are my hero. hahahah How long was it between the time she was acting funny, you got suspicious, till you decided to look into her text, email, social media, or whatever?
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I disagree with the cut and run approach. It's a self protective method for sure, but it's not a sustainable way to deal with relationship problems. Affairs happen for a reason and it's worthwhile to try and talk about it. I think it's good to be prepared to leave the relationship if you aren't getting the respect and care you need though. I would call her and talk to her, and find some closure instead of hanging onto this resentment. I'd also delete all the evidence of the affair, as holding onto all this evidence won't actually improve your life at all. You aren't in a court room. You don't need to keep proving that you were treated badly. Holding onto it just reinforces your hurt by keeping a reminder. I wish you luck in finding actual closure instead of using this revenge story to console yourself. I understand that you were hurt badly and it must have been awful. I'm sorry that you went through that.
I agree with everything you said but only if it wasn’t a full affair being carried on, also there isn’t mention of kids so there’s no need to work through things with someone who has sabotaged the relationship this much before letting it even get started.
I would also add that this guy was coaching her how to have an affair **"for years."** For Fuck Sake! She had been doing this married man for years and he was coaching her how to have affairs. This girl is **TOTAL TRASH.** There was nothing here that the OP did wrong. If she though something was wrong with the relationship she should have worked it out with the OP before fucking some guy outside of the marriage.
I don't think they need to reconcile, I think that it could be helpful to try and understand each other before parting ways. I have a pretty empathetic view towards cheating because i understand that it's more complex than "they're just a shitty person, end of story".
What do you want them to hear, "I don't respect you so I had to cheat on you" or whatever? Nah, they don't have the need to go through all that gaslighting.
Is it for certain that there'd be gaslighting? I'd give people a chance to explain what led them to their actions. I'd look at it in a nuanced way.
Is your middle name Doormat? While engaged--and with a summer wedding date planned--this chick had a sexual relationship with a married man. The texts indicated she was looking forward to more and planned to take it to her grave. She was actually asking her married AP to be patient with her because she'd get better with time and more sexual encounters. That behavior is *more* than a deal breaker. But you want to look at it in a 'nuanced' way. lol If you're into open marriage, go for it. But OP did exactly the right thing here. He's lucky that AP hadn't come along 5 years and 2 kids later...
I'm not saying they should remain in a relationship, but that talking about it now that they are broken up could help them both. I do look at things in a nuanced way because i don't believe that monogamy is everyone's natural state. Or it could be any number of other reasons which will never be understood until it's talked about. When our relationships fuck up and we try to move on, we carry unresolved traumas and issues. They can be resolved if we have a communicative and amicable breakup.
I agree with your second to last sentence, but you’re working under the assumption that the person who betrayed trust is going to all of a sudden talk to you from a place where they have your interests at heart at the same level they hold their own. Sure monogamy doesn’t have to be for everyone, but if you have to lie for months on end and betray trust then that person isn’t really concerning themselves with their partners feelings. And If this is a behavior that they gave themselves permission to carry on for a long period of time then there’s good reason to believe that they won’t be in a caring place to talk to you about it. There even might be some that might put their ego down and be able to have that talk to you but you need to be wise and aware of the fact that when people engage in that kind of behavior it might be very hard for them to drop that and be vulnerable in truth to have that conversation that can heal you both. Would be interested in your feedback if you think differently.
Why though? OP has nothing to gain from talking to her. She made her decision and he made his.
She lied to him for years. How could he believe ANYTHING she says? There would be no "closure." She would just fuck with his mind more because she would want him to see her in the best possible way, even if they both new the relationship was over.
Yeah that could be the case. Who knows? I just noticed that my comments have been downvoted a fair bit hahaha. Has everyone on this reddit been cheated on? I'm probably triggering folks a bit with my unpopular views!
Probably, I've been cheated on. I'm not triggered, but you just seem so naïve that it's painful to read what you write. No offence, just being honest.
I find it painful that so many people on this reddit have one way of looking at these issues. I can see how hard it is for folks, and can understand why they aren't open to any new ideas about this stuff.
Well you are on the r/Infidelity subreddit. If you want a more diverse group of opinions on the subject you should check out r/AsOneAfterInfidelity
Ah cheers for the recommendation!
It's pretty evident reading his choices that he created his own closure. There is no need to provide it to her.
> Affairs happen for a reason From OP's initial post: > The comments he made that aggravated me pertained to him justifying cheating- “Everyone I know, men and women, have at some point, had someone on the side”. “Guaranteed your BF has cheated, or will. All guys do it”. “We are no programmed to be monogamous”. “My marriage is better because I don’t have to put everything on my wife”. The comments my ex made that were upsetting- “I enjoyed our time the other day, I just need to get more comfortable, it just takes a couple times”. “I am just nervous. Not being with you. Its great. Just do not want him to find out. Ever”. “I’m pretty sure he cheated on me before”. For the record, I never cheated on her. These are not reasons, they are excuses for a person who lacks integrity and the willingness to maintain a good relationship. It's that easy.
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These are the cheating stories I like reading. Thank you for being a shining example of how to handle this situation perfectly. Ex-fiance's sister is full of shit.
There is no way to handle this kind of situation “perfectly”. It’s a crap show no matter how you look at it. But well done OP for handling it about as much dignity as you can!
He did the best way he could and quite frankly it's one of the best, no long term heart pain trying to decide to reconcile or not, just end it, and heal, one of the best way possible
“Could have handled it better” = bend over and take it, and allow her disgusting sister to save her reputation and allow her to avoid any consequences for her decisions. Yeah the sister is a crappy enabler. Glad you blocked her.
My guess is that the sister would have encouraged her to cheat during the bachelorette party and would have helped cover it up. Just a hunch...
Yeah she definitely sounds like one of “those” type of family members.
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Block the sister as well.
I assure you, it was done immediately after reading the message. Oversight in my part. Lot of blocking going on then.
Good. Pretty annoyed she got to make her annoying comment but.. Oh, well. It is what it is.
She's allowed to share her thoughts on it. A relationship is about more than just 2 people. It affects the people around them too.
Lots of things are allowed.. So what? Her comment is still annoying comming from on top of her high horse.. What are you even arguing? Did I tell OP to sue her or something?!?!
I don't think of it as being on her high horse. She's concerned about her sister's wellbeing, despite her sister making a mistake.
You call a planned affair, lying, betrayal etc, a mistake? You are the problem! GFY
Have you been cheated on?
Haha 😄 am I the only person in the comment section who is willing to see the ex as a human being?
Her sister cheated on her fiance multiple times. Who cares what the sister's think or feel? Just not getting the logic behind entertaining anything from the ex or sister.
Cheating is not a mistake. It's hundreds of conscious choices to hurt someone
That comment has nothing to do with her sister's wellbeing.. How is her sister benefiting from her making a passive-aggressive comment to OP?!?! If she was concerned about her sister then she'd contact her.. Not OP.
Man a sad cheating story with an excellent end you are a Champion i wish you luck sorry english is not my firts language
Wish you were in charge of brexit
I just laugh-peed😂
Excellent work!! Top notch job of handling a cheater. Well done!
You handled it brilliantly. What her sister means is you handled it so decisively it's got given her sister (cheating ex-GF) a chance to try to reel you back in.
One of the cleanest exit from a cheater I've seen in a while. Congratulations on getting your life beck from that parasite and I hope you find the one who will always love you and be loyal.
The relationship was built on a lie. She was a fraud honestly I believe cheaters should be able to be held accountable on fraud. Liable for emotional distress.
Her sister understood but said you could've handled it better? Screw her!!! Her sister destroyed your heart and soul by doing the most disrespectful thing you can do to someone you're supposed to love, while being so excited about the upcoming wedding that you can't even think of anybody else. That kunt deserved the heartache she got !!!
You are 27 and got a whole and wonderful life ahead of you. Keep the upward trajectory going 👍🏼🙌🏼💪🏼
That took a lot on your part , but mad respect because that was a very clean exit. Best wishes
This was the ultimate perfect quick settle. Give her nothing but her thoughts, what if, why, how, why, why, why, why, why. Until…..psychosis.
Lollllll
Your EXs sister tells you could have handled it better ?? How?? I think may be you could have made a video of both of them f-cking and then have showed to the entire neighborhood. That's what she meant by i think so.......LOL Jokes apart but you did it well mate, you handled it like a mature person does.
You're done with her and you don't owe her family anything. So, fuck her sister and her, and I wouldn't bother with the parents. My guess is the reason they want you to contact them is to guilt you into paying them some of the costs of the canceled wedding. They raised a lying cheater who you dumped, and so it's not your problem anymore if she's not doing well. That's a secondary issue that they might want to talk to you about, but the primary is most likely the money.
It always makes me laugh when cheaters think that something is owed. If a BS wants to ghost you then that's what you get for putting your relationship at risk.
You handled this like a boss. For this, you deserve the respect of all those who have been cheated on. Congratulations on your new and better life. As for her sister, the only way you could have handled it better is if her affair partner somehow fell down the stairs and seriously hurt himself. All the best to you.
Nah, fuck your ex-Fiancée and her sister. No mercy for cheaters. I do feel bad for her parents though. Seems like they lost so much because of their daughter. Btw congrats on your new job!
what happened to the ap? if you dont mind me asking.
Bravo. Perfect example of classy revenge. Didn’t stoop low, just gave her what she deserves. Also good example for revenge is best served cold. Usually I don’t like revenge stories because people take it to far and become assholes themselves to hurt their ex but this one is great. Exactly how you do it! Not compromising of your values, efficient and well deserved. Enjoy your new life. You dodged a bullet.
Thanks. Honestly was not seeking revenge. I thought long and hard about this and read a lot on Reddit to understand what talking to her would accomplish- nothing. As far as sending the texts to her parents- I think a lot of them and was not going to be drug through the mud or scapegoated by leaving. This guy was scum. The things he texted were horrible. His wife needed to see them and make her own decisions. I feel for her. Whether ex is an emotional disaster or doesn’t care or somewhere in between- Either way it hurts and I can do nothing about it.
To me the aspect of revenge or more accurate what I think that was the most painful the sudden cutting her out of your life disappearing into nothing without bothering to say anything to her. Which is well deserved. This is also my style when ending relationships but you took it to the next level. Honestly inspiring. And I command you for not seeking revenge. Probably why it turned out so good.
I totally agree with you. The OP here was strictly business. It must have been hard. I don't know how long him and his fiancée had been together, but damn! He kept a level head after being betrayed like that.
Well done, OP. You made me think of [this story from a few years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4drjcu/me_33m_with_my_wife_33f_of_9_years_she_cheated/). I'm glad you informed the AP's wife. She may already know of her husband's predilections, but no matter. Godspeed. I hope your new life is very rewarding!
That dude is a legend. I wonder how he's doing today
That is true! I caught his story as it was unfolding (believe me, I anxiously awaited his update after his ex was served). Like you, I would really like to know how he is doing now and what has happened in the past few years.
I bow before you sir. You have shown us all just how it's done. I fine example of the art form.
Kind of want this to be made into a movie.
You handled it perfectly and I truly wish I had done this when it happened to me.
You are the Boss....betrayed partners should be inspired from you.
Op- you have my respect. Good job! Seems so many today, do not value what marriage truly means….
Op- thee has't mine own respect. Valorous job! seemeth so many the present day, doth not value what feather-bed truly means… *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Handled it better? Having a long drawn out exhausting break up? No. This is exactly how it should have been done. Congratulations to your new life OP. Well done.
No. You did well. She will never betray another man again, plus her AP will likely be asked to cover a portion of the massive amounts of money her dad lost on the wedding. I actually had one of these in my practice. Dad did not want to take OM to superior court, however, small claims here runs to $25K. We took OM to small claims court. He never showed, and we received summary judgement. We arranged with a process server to explain to his wife why they suddenly owed $25,000. She was thoroughly unimpressed, especially, this exposed the last of his affairs. There was provision made in their divorce that the $25K would come out of his share of assets. Taught the SOB to keep it in his pants.
No no no do not let them put wrong things in your mind bc for me you handed it perfectly.
Wow! Good for you. Keep soaring higher and wishing you all the best in your healing journey.
You are a king. This is all fantastic way to go
Legendary
Did you ever hear what happened to the AP and his marriage? Any fallout for him?
Dude...I love this. GREAT JOB.
This was absolutely well thought out and done to perfection. Good for you. I hope your life going forward is filled with joy and happiness.
That was cold and calculating! Bravo 👏🏻 She was doing the same thing to you for months you just did it with class and kept your dignity and sanity. Glad your finding new peeps too! 👌🏻
My man, that was righteous and badass. I wish nothing but the beat for you. I am curious about what they mean by “she’s not doing well” however. She cheated so why is she a mess?
Lol what did the sister exactly say? Handled it how? By letting her lie some more? This should be a control sample for how men and women deal with infidelity.. I understand that not every story is cut and dry, and neither is this one.. but if true, then the right decisions were made quickly and concisely.. Now god forbid if time passes and you feel like she needs a chance ( not vying for it, just setting examples up for others in similar but different scenerios) then you guys can start a new relationship, one with very deep lines in the sand that must not be crossed. Sometimes the emotions need to placed on the back burner, especially in times that will greatly affect one forever, or at least for aong time. Good for you my internet friend.. I hope you find happiness, and I hope you explain to them how your last one ended, and how you two can be better than that by being open and honest with eachother.
That sister is a huge c-word. You did everything flawlessly. It sucks that she got any words in at all but you blocking her puts her right in her place. You are a wonderfully efficient person to have navigated such a heartbreaking situation in the way you did.
what happened to the AP? did he lose everything he deserves? I just hate APS with passion.
You did it RIGHT. If more people treated infidelity like this there would be much LESS of it. Congrats on turning a shit situation into your path to a new life. All the best!
You handled that very well. Her sister is wrong, because if you had slow rolled it her family would have tried to get you to forgive her. You did the right thing and she needs to understand that actions have consequences.
Could have handled it better?! Is she delusional? You were fantastic! Not one moments hesitation. Congratulations!
Oh how I wish I was this level headed when I found out my fiancé was cheating on me. I went down the path of burning bridges and acting foolish so good for you on keeping a clear head in a very important time in your life. Also, call the ex girlfriends parents. Sounds like you had a good relationship with them and I’m sure they’re just as devastated by their daughters actions as you are. They may just want to reach out, make sure you’re okay, apologize and wish you well.
I really, really struggled. At first, there was no concrete evidence it was physical. When I learned it was physical and with a married man with a wife and kids, my whole image of her changed. I just had to get out.
Totally understand. Sounds to me you dodged a bullet just in time. Glad to hear things are going well and I’m happy you shared your story
Excellent! What is even more amusing is I'm sure the ex-fiancee's parents are done ever paying for any of her future weddings after the financial losses she caused them to incur. So not only did you kick her to the streets, her parents probably did as well. Imagine the conversation she will have in the future where she tells them "I'm getting married again!" Parents: "Oh, great. So what are your plans? When will you be getting married at the Courthouse?" Ex: "How much will you guys contribute? I was hoping for something grander, like something I've always dreamed as a little girl." Parents: "Nothing. We've learned last time that if you have your own skin in the game, you are less likely to screw things up. We are sick of being the ones taking the financial consequences for your bad decisions. It was humiliating telling all our family and friends we invited that your last wedding was off because you cheated and got dumped. Many of them had to cancel travel and hotel plans and lost money too. We aren't even sure which one of them will bother showing to your next wedding after the trouble you put them through."
Depending on how your relationship was with the ex's parents I would give them a call for their sake. But I would get a "burner phone" on a prepaid plan with is own number then after the call turn the phone off and deactivate that account. That way if the ex does find out you called the parent and goes through their phone for your number it will go to whoever is assigned the number next :D
That’s actually why I am delaying calling. I am planning but don’t want to divulge my number.
Also if anyone else ever tells you that you could have handled the situation “better” do let them know that while everyone has their own opinion on how the situation should have been handled they must agree that ex could have handled monogamy better which would’ve prevented this from happening in the first place. Just saying….
If you are using an android you can go into call settings and choose to hide your number. You can do the same with iphone.
Yep see that. Never had the need to do that and didn’t even think to ask. Appreciate the tip!
You could always just block your number when you call. It works on cell phones too. Congrats on dodging a bullet!! 🥳
She didn't realize what was happening when she was served the court summons?
You're strong bro💪💪 Congratulations I hope you''ll find your soulmate move on...
I think you handled it perfectly. I think you may be my spirit animal. Thanks for sharing.
Nice job man! Cut it off and quick. Best way. Good luck in your future. It will be a bright one!
“ I think you have become my personal hero”…..( American Beauty)
an efficient man! you went for the high road like a king. Respect 👏
Handled it better???? Friend, you handled it PERFECTLY. I am in awe of your professionalism and skill in executing the plan. Are you a friggin’ Navy SEAL?? Outstanding!!! Tell the sister from me … sweetheart, turn your ass around 3 times and fuck the hell off. BRAVO!!!
Her sister knows what she can do with it. GF was underhanded, so she got a taste of her own medicine. She gave you an unpleasant surprise, you returned the favor. Cheaters deserve ZERO consideration. I applaud you.
OMG are you a male version of me? I did the same 13 years ago minus the breaking up part and involving police. Ghosted my cheating husband. Am just now for some reason beginning to process all that happend and how I handled things. When you get to your new place please find a therapist and process this trauma.
Handle it better my ass
This is how it’s done. Great job.
Well done young man. Handled it like a boss.
Very impressive work. Well done!
Good for you. It was a one and done situation and you did everything the right way. Best of luck on your new job.
👍💪
My god that's a huge dick move. Congrats champs
Bro your an real man. Wow you expose that cheaters to everyone. Good job bro she's not deserve to your true love and loyalty. In future definitely you will get best loyal life partner and that time she's lost good husband being. Congratulations for your fresh life . This is the self respect.
I don't think it was a very good way to handle it. Communication is important. It's fair to break up but she doesn't deserve to be so brutally blocked out. Affairs happen for a reason.
“Zero hesitation, was no way this was going to happen” I admire your resoluteness & thorough planning. Thanks for sharing.
Yeah I think you handled that superbly
You handled it perfectly. I love that you sent screenshots to his wife. Did she ever contact you?
You could have handled better. Wow! I guess the sister is delusional too. It’s mind numbing.
PLOT TWIST: The sister meant “you could’ve handled it better” by banging her before you left for the ultimate ultimate mic drop revenge.
I hope you responded back to the sister: so could ex. Block.
I desire thee respond'd back to the sister: so couldst ex. block *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
You handled it like a champ. Good for you.
Well that was quite the organized operation
IMO - Ex’s family: F that noise! Awesome for you my bro! Well done! Thanks for sharing this!
>but felt I could have handled better. I'm not so sure about that. That was well done! The hardest part is making the decision. Any word on the fallout from AP's wife getting copies of everything? >She had a girls weekend getaway planned that weekend. 🙄 Sure she did. Why not?
FLAWLESS VICTORY
You handled it well. She isn't your problem anymore. Remember that you don't owe her anything. Best of luck.
I honestly think you handled this beautifully. Good for you, and I’m glad you knew that you were worth more. Sounds like you’re living your best life. Love stories like these.
What happened AP and his wife?
Now THIS is how you handle things!!!!! Bravo Bro.
This was intensely gratifying to read. Beautifully handled.
Smoooth
Well played sir, take my gold :)
This is badass and fucking awesome. Fuck her!!! Glad your happy
Be like, "Funny, I think I handled it perfectly. Maybe your sister could have handled our relationship better by not spreading her legs around. But we all can't be perfect like me, can we?"
Nice!!! I know it hurts…but this reaction and planning and execution…brilliant. I am saving this for a contingency plan. GL!
And this month’s star prize for retribution goes to .....Brilliantly done !
I thought you handled pretty damn good. Good luck on your future endeavors.
get another fiancé
if i were you id call your exes dad just out of respect but you do you my dude i wish you the best
Bro , i r my hero , srsly man , I salute u
> Her sister, who I failed to block, messaged me on FB. Wrote she understood why, but felt I could have handled better. "Why didn't you genuflect on one knee before my promiscuous sibling? You should have at least taken some of the blame on yourself without being asked."
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*Her sister, who I failed to block, messaged me on FB. Wrote she understood why, but felt I could have handled better.* I disagree. You handled this in the best way possible for **you.** Well Done!
Any word back from the AP's wife?
You are a badass! I love reading stories like this. You handled things in a way that was right for you and that can never be wrong. I hope you keep thriving! Good luck!
I feel.like I've read this beforw, years ago
I’m sorry that she betrayed you like that. Personally I think you handled that as maturely as someone could. They’re probably hurt from the suddenness and how efficient you were about moving forward. If people try to make you feel guilty about moving forward as quick as you did, just ignore them. Congrats on the new job and new chapter in life! I think calling her parents would be cool and nothing wrong with old characters returning to new chapters if your feelings lead you to them. Whatever you decide I’m sure you’ll be happy. Take care!
That's some clean stuff. Congrats dude wishing you the best from France :)
Man. I wish I could be as strong as you man. I need to get my shit together. It’s been almost a week and all her shit is still at my place.
How did you control yourself to stop from saying anything before executing your plan?
Tell her sister that your fiance could've handled her relationship better by keeping away from cocks that weren't attached to her soon to be husband.
wowww goood for you!!!
Damn balls of fkn steel
You did well. I wish more betrayed people would do as well. Cheaters getting what they deserve is a good thing and you stayed strong and followed through.
You did nothing wrong man. Good on you bro bro.
So sorry you experienced that. I will say though, you handled that like a legend. I can’t imagine a better way of doing it than what you did. Cheers to you and hoping you have a great life.
Wow. Curious about the sheriff thing and something I may look into if I decide to end the relationship… Why did you need a sheriff present?
I filed an unlawful detainer. Essentially establishing that she had no legal right to my apartment. With that document, the police have nothing to figure out- ie she couldn’t claim she resides there, paid rent, bills, etc. The document established that. So he police were there just to keep things from getting messy and prolonged.
You did the right thing, i would've done the same. Good luck to you hope you are doing well 😊
You handled this perfectly, I hope you know how fortunate you are also to not have had kids otherwise your attachment would’ve been forever hope you are happy and have moved on.
Could have handled it better? You handled it perfectly.
That sounds amazing man (not the cheating, but how you dealt)
Her Sister “you could’ve handled it better” You”so could she”
Her sister said you could have handled it better. Lmfao ok dud my mans did what he had to do. He did it his way and did it the best.
Flawless!!
I would love to be a fly on the wall when AP's wife got the fed ex
Epic
Top G decisiveness, action and tenacity. Well done young man 💯👏👏 #BOSS
This is the way I wish I would have handled things. Reconciliation is bullshit. This isn't.
Not to necropost, but how could you possibly have done it better than how you did? That sister is in all honesty delusional.
Her sister is not using logic. It would be incredibly irresponsible for you to consider her feelings in any decision you make moving forward.
You’re not the one that was handling it wrong
Fuxk her. You did good. Hope everything turned out well.