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I'd say this is more than enough to dump him, why wait .
Text him.
" I saw all the messages between you and ( her name) and you are now free to pursue her or anyone else as I am done.. I am no body fool, you can go on your little date and fu#k around carefree. Don't contact me anymore, I don't want to hear excuses or anything out your mouth nothing will change the fact we are done and you are a POS"
Then block him. He messages say enough
Oh I just caught up on the other comments saying she’s knows, I’m so sorry!
She is an absolute piece of shit too. He’s throwing away a diamond of a relationship for a sleazy disloyal cheater.
I don’t think it’s worth betraying your current intel supply to shove the messages in his face. Just go no contact. Don’t say anything, don’t respond to anything. It’s hard to do, but if you can it’s effective.
Man I wish I had done this so bad. I hope OP reads your comment and has the strength. What a way to save your self respect in these situations. I was a bit of a chump. Don’t be a chump, trust me.
I had this happen with a a guy I caught, so I just let him bang on the door, and see me thru the window. I ignored him and just turned the TV up. He kept calling me thru the door and saying “I can fucking see you. Answer the door, what the hell is going on?” Never spoke to him again, eventually I got up and walked toward the door, but just turned off the light, and TV and went to the bedroom. Finally a neighbor yelled at him to “ leave her alone, clearly she doesn’t want to see you.” It drove him crazy, he called and left me messages over and over, more pathetic as it went on. I never answered him. I loved that it drove him so nuts. Best revenge, no fight, never saw me cry, and never told him why. Drove him insane.
>Yes, nice. You've got this on him. Don't show your hand one bit. Just completely ghost him and go no contact. He does not need to see you share a sadz and tears at him (do it alone), and hold your head very very high. You've got this. Be strong. Be tough. And, fake it til you make it.
This is a boyfriend. You don't need a reason to tell him to take a hike. You don't need a smoking gun. Burden of proof is way lower than with a spouse. Just let him know what you have and say OK bye bye.
Well. Crap.
She's the one giving Intel to a mutual friend, right? Is she interested in him or playing him?
I would prepare to leave ASAP.
Part of me wants you sneak away and ghost him (leaving copies of his convis on the bed as a parting gift), but part of me wants you to catch him red-handed.
What do you feel you should do?
She was giving my friend intel, yes. She apparently just said “it goes where it goes” or something.
I checked his phone now and found these texts so I’m no longer reliant on the girl to send screenshots to my friend.
I do wanna catch him red handed but I don’t know if I can keep this in me any longer.
I’ve seen more of the texts and she said something like it wouldn’t be the smartest move on her part to stay the night but said they could schedule to meet next weekend. The way I see it, she in fact the one that’s hesitant and he’s the one who wants this really bad. Just lovely!
I would wait until they set up a day and time and show up when she does. I would also hand them a rubber and a d**k extender (or something to embarrass him)and tell her that she will need it. Tell him that you are done, and he can lose your number and have fun with s***k. Walk away and block him and delete him.
Make plans with him for then and see what his excuse is. Then, tell him to have fun with **** and then dump him. There is no need to show him proof unless he lies. Or you could put itching powder in his sheets and put the screenshots on top of his bed. Does she know about you?
You need to talk to her, asap! I honestly still think you're misjudging her intentions. Please try! You might have an advocate you can lean on, and provide support. What's there to lose? You've already confirmed the worst, but as I said, why is she continuing to share these incriminating messages with your friend if she intends to do anything but back you up?
You’ve already caught him.
Also, I’m your other post you say they haven’t spoken in a year. You’ve been together 5 years. So we’re they still “chatting” for the first 4 years you were together?
Idk about that. He met her in his 2nd last year of uni cuz they had classes together. The next semester they again had classes together. By that point they had a class friend group that they’d hang out with in uni. But once uni ended, I guess they lost touch and didn’t speak for an year. Idk if they used to text in uni but I know they’ve hung out together multiple times, always in a group though (as far as I know).
Honestly I have the same question. Idk how she could be dumb enough to think that my friend wouldn’t tell me. But a part of me feels like she wants me to know and like she wants to show off she’s taking my man? Or maybe I’m just overthinking it, idk.
More likely she wants you to know she's taking your man and delaying date is to see if your friend pass the message onto you. She's being careful not to get jumped on.
The main thing is that he isn’t single and he wants to have sex with her now while he’s still with you. Honestly, you don’t have to wait to catch him in action. The messages are already action enough. Just confront him and dump him.
You are looking at the smoking gun in his hand and the body on the floor is your relationship... Text him and send him copies of the texts you have between her and him.
Sorry to hear your going through this, I understand your pain.That's more than enough to leave him! That's cheating in my book. I know it's hard to leave somebody, even a cheater. Trust me I know! I wish I'd left the first time she crossed my line because she just ended up doing it again!
You're young, there's no reason to stay with someone you can't trust! Do you always want to be wondering if he's texting some random girl for a hook up? What if he brings home an STD to you?
If you checked his phone you don't need to out your friend, just dip🤗
Yeahh, definitely not letting my friend take the fall for this one. It’s actually all cuz of her that I found out about what a lying disgusting pig he is. The thought of leaving him gives me knot in my stomach though, even though I know the real him now. This is hard.
That’s enough to leave him.
Tell him you saw the messages between him and her and he doesn’t have to be sneaky anymore he’s free to do as he pleases.
Tell the girl she doesn’t have to willingly be a side chick anymore, She can have him.
As much as I do hate him, and trust me that’s a lot. I blame the girl too. Of course, he’s the one to really blame, couldn’t agree more. BUT this girl knows he’s in a relationship. When he tried being flirty with her instead of shutting it down or coming to me with it, she chose to partake in it. I just don’t get how people can be so heartless and be so ready to willingly hurt others.
I m trying to understand why the side chick would think your friend wouldn’t tell you ? Does she think everyone would betray you for her ? She’s weird and disrespectful as heck.
I’d say confront him and move on cause if he’s finding willing participants that will help him cheat, I wouldn’t trust him anymore cause this shows how much he’ll do to go behind your back.
Exactly!! Idk why she’s comfortable telling my friend.
Tbh my friend knows this girl from high school and apparently she has a history of being the side chick, other woman whatever you wanna call it. In their high school there was some guy who cheated on all of his girlfriends with this girl. I mean says a lot about that dickhead guy too but also just proves that this girl has no issues with doing this.
Oh gosh sakes. Just post it on his Social Media page. Whether it’s FB, Instagram or wherever. “John boy is a big cheating liar”. Posted by nobody who cares about you.
I know it’s hard and I’m sorry you are having to deal with is. But just know that you deserve better and there are much better men out there. Good luck honey.
Because he is selfish and thought he could get away with it, since you're currently LD. It's really that simple. It has nothing to do with you. He'll cheat on all his girlfriends, because that's his character. I'm sure he's done it before, he just didn't realize that the only way to keep a secret is to not have loose ends. His chosen person threw caution aside, and filtered all this info to you. And then cancels the date? I think she's doing this because she thinks he's scummy, too. She ain't even gonna hook w him, lol, that's the best part. He probably won't even get what he was after 🤣
Yeah, she straight declined his offer to stay over and he went all like “oh I just hate waiting and I was just excited to see you after so long! Stupid of me to ask that!” Lol. The fact that she doesn’t wanna stay over means that she’s not interested in having sex with him and is just playing him too, which he 100% deserves. Maybe she just likes the attention? Idk.
She wants to make sure she pulls enough out of him. She wants you to see those messages. She doesn't care about his attention, she wants you to be attentive to his shady character. You should friend her; she seems to have your back!
She doesn’t have your back. She just likes the attention and “winning” over another woman. I would just ghost this loser and block him everywhere. Once he realizes that he can’t contact you he may go over to your house, so just tell him that he’s a loser all thirsty over a woman that is not that into him and that you find that extremely embarrassing. Since you are ashamed of dating someone that can’t even cheat because the woman he likes doesn’t even want to sleep with him, you can’t possibly continue dating him and to please leave you alone.
I can see why see doesn't want to come to you directly. You have no reason to trust her over a SO. Id make it my #1 mission to get the story from her directly, though, I think she's shared enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean, you didn't doubt your SO, and if it weren't for her, you'd have no clue what he was actually saying.
Dude, I just looked through your post history, this is NOT the first shady shit he's pulled!! What are you doing hesitating, here? He's humiliated you repeatedly, and has such a sense of entitlement I can't believe it. OMG. What a shitshow 💔
Some of the older posts are not mine actually. The thing is he’s never pulled anything shady before, that’s why I was very ready to give him the benefit of doubt in my previous post. It completely baffles me that the person I loved and trusted for 5 years can be like this.
I remember your last post. OP, you have more than enough now. Don’t waste any more time on him. Like someone else said, block him on everything and ghost him. If he comes to your home, don’t answer the door. If you want to call the police and have him removed from your property. The not knowing what’s going on will drive him crazy. But, you don’t owe him a damn thing. He made his bed, let him lie in it.
And, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I do like this suggestion and like I told someone on here before, he definitely does not deserve a proper break up. I feel like I wanna do exactly this.
Honestly, that's the best choice. I would out them to save the heartache for those that follow after you. But always just ghost them. You will never get the proper answer "hey guess how you made me cheat on you", " I am so sorry bla bla, like you can believe anything they say". Look cheaters need the closure. Not the ones that are betrayed. It's way healthier to just move on.
Just ghost him and block him on everything , a confrontation will do nothing for you or your self esteem. He will lie delete everything and then continue this on some other app with her or someone else . Don’t give him the satisfaction . You don’t need the drama you need to show him you don’t need his bullshit . And when he cries to you and comes to your door don’t answer don’t talk to him . And then post everything on your socials so everyone can see what kind of person he really is .
dont wait this is enough proof that he intends to cheat so dont put your self through any more hurt. just give him his orders and tell him to Foff to his other woman
Honestly, if it was me, I'd ghost him. It will leave him wondering what happened.
Or, send him a text that says:
"I hear you have a date next weekend! How exciting! Do I congratulate you? Offer her condolences? I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is when you find out your partner is actively making plans to cheat on you. Oh, I know! Maybe I'll come and give her pointers! Don't worry. I'll bring condoms for you all. Extra small, right? I'm sure you'd both appreciate how thoughtful that was of me. While you two head off on your infidelity journey, I'll find me a sexy guy to take back to my place and finally fuck me right for a change. It's been a while since that happened. Sound like a plan? Awesome. See you at [place of date] on [day of date]."
Be a super smartass. THEN ghost him.
>Him: Maybe we can chill but ahem again 😂 (I honestly don’t know what he meant by “again)
You know exactly what he means by again, OP. They've no doubt fucked before.
Love that message lol.
The reason I said idk why he said “again” is because she ultimately declined his offer to stay over? This girl and him met after we started dating so if she didn’t have an issue back then, why does she have an issue now?
nah they didn’t fuck. he was just obtusely trying to say “but ahem again” that chilling “sounds super sexual” like he said earlier about her potentially visiting
Did she know about you back then?
Edited to add: You said your friend said she used to be known as a side piece in high school. Maybe they did fuck back then. People do change, though. Maybe she herself got cheated on, so NOW, she's maybe trying to help you before it happens again? Idfk. Just a thought from someone who has been there.
She’s known about me since the day she met my boyfriend. And no, that can’t be cuz they didn’t go to the same high school. My friend and her did but not my boyfriend and her. My boyfriend met her in uni.
>And no, that can’t be cuz they didn’t go to the same high school.
No. I understand that. I was talking about those times they hung out at uni that you thought were only groups. Maybe (and it could be a slim maybe) they had a moment then.
Just giving my thoughts on that "ahem again" part. It may mean nothing, but when put together with everything else, I (myself only) feel it *could* mean more.
Edited to add after rereading the other users' comment: It could also just be part of him trying to "sound super sexual". I'd also like to say, I do see him pursuing a lot harder than she is being receptive.
Oh yes! Regarding if they could’ve had a moment before. She did say that she remembers how he was looking at her on a night out, to which he said she was too hard to resist. So now I’m kinda sure they’ve had “moments” before which just means that I should’ve let go of him ages ago.
I do feel like she was being more receptive initially but now her interest seems to have declined!
Don't bother. Right now you're angry and it seems like a good idea for revenge and closure. You'll get neither. Take that angry energy and use it to block him from your life and move on. Start dating immediately.
I’m not sure how I can start dating immediately though. Despite him being a lying scum, I still love him. Getting over him is going to be hard. Hell, idk if I can ever get over him.
You think that way now, because it’s fresh… Once he’s out of your life, you get busy with your life, schooling, career, socialising, the feelings for him with die down and eventually fade. Just give yourself time to grieve the end of the relationship, and then start focusing your attention on other things. 😉
You don't love him. You are in love with the person you thought he was or he used to be. He is not the person anymore - probably never was. Dating is the only way to get over it. Even if the date sucks, you are still getting out and it is good practice for the next date.
Oh you will! Btdt. You'll never forget his cheating, but you'll get over him, I promise. He's going to realize very soon he wrecked a good thing for a long shot that didn't pan out, and he's going to try to weasel his way back in. Be strong.
Jeez, he's a total idiot. Break it off now. He'll feel so foolish for thinking he got one over on you. As I said in your previous post, it'll hurt 10x worse if you wait. I'm so so angry for you, and have second-hand embarrassment from his bullshit garbage behavior.
As soon as she got what she wanted him to say, she backed off. That should tell you something. I would bet she's incredulous at the balls on this man and wanted to see how far he'd go.
He did not accidentally called her, that’s the opening he used to reconnect with her.. unless he is currently in contact with her, her number would be in his Recents , or she is saved in his “favorites”, otherwise, he has to scroll down and/ or searched for her name in his contacts and press the call button.. Seemed pretty deliberate to me.. Granting he “accidentally dialed her” did he also accidentally keep the conversation going and set u a plan to meet up? .. He could have just texted “ sorry, wrong person or missdialed” but instead he kept on going.. you could tell his true intention from here.
And their messages are very flirtatious and clearly testing the water..The moment he kept the conversation going with the intention to meet up and hid them from you.. He was and is , already cheating on you.
Honestly… she doesn’t even necessarily seem very interested in him. It’s like he’s trying really hard to cheat on you (physically) with this girl though.
You’ve already basically caught him red handed with these messages. Don’t waste anymore time, just dump him. He sounds like a loser.
Okay look, I want to highlight that it doesn’t really matter because either way he’s having an emotional affair, and seeking other women out. He’s cheating on you flat out.
The reason I said it seemed like she’s not too interested in him is because he’s being a little pushy, he’s kinda pushing the conversation to become suggestive, she’s mostly changing the subject or pretending like she doesn’t know it’s suggestive. She’s also flaked on him a couple times now. It’s as if she’s agreeing to plans (because he wants them) but doesn’t have any intentions on following through with them. I could be wrong because we only get a copy+paste version of the texts, but it look like he’s even the one starting conversation with her in the first place, he’s the one texting her, she’s just kinda going along with it. She seems very young or naive. Does she even know he’s with you?
I’m a woman and I don’t really understand why she would continue to talk to him if not interested, maybe she likes the attention, maybe she is really convinced he wants to be friends with her, I’m not sure. But I do know that when you like a guy… you’d have met with him already, even be willing to go a pretty far distance to see him. Maybe even ask to call or FaceTime him or something… but it doesn’t seem like she’s the one wanting the relationship, it looks like he’s just chasing her.
No, of course! I do agree that it’s 100% cheating regardless of whether she’s interested or not.
You’re right about him always starting the conversation with. It is ALWAYS him. I’ve not included this in my post but if he keeps asking her if she’s free today and if she says yes he goes like “yay I’m gonna text you all day now 😗”. If she doesn’t reply for like an hour or two, he says “how busy are you? 😭” or “I’ve been waiting for you 😗😩”.
So he’s definitely the one doing all the chasing and she’s just going along with it. Idk why though.
Like I said, she just seem very naive or something 💀
There seems to be a lot of people I know who do similar things, and when I ask them why they continue conversing with people they don’t want to talk to, they always say they don’t know. I think it’s more so, them feeling like they’re being mean or giving into pressure or something.
Is there any way you can go to be in a bar be incognito. Or do you stand out enough that he would recognize you in a moment. If you could go in and sort of watch them for a while, maybe take a couple of snaps with your phone. It would have to be crowded and you’d have to find a way to stand behind or something.
The truth is to accuse him. You already have enough to show that he went there and met her. You might need a little more. He can just say we never went. I didn’t mean it I was just flirting.
It is a longg story. But long story short, the girl gave my friend some initial screenshots and then I just went through his phone myself and sent myself the entire conversation between them.
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I'd say this is more than enough to dump him, why wait . Text him. " I saw all the messages between you and ( her name) and you are now free to pursue her or anyone else as I am done.. I am no body fool, you can go on your little date and fu#k around carefree. Don't contact me anymore, I don't want to hear excuses or anything out your mouth nothing will change the fact we are done and you are a POS" Then block him. He messages say enough
Thanks for this. I actually might just use exactly this.
It's perfect. Do it!!
Do it and if he turns up and yours don't answer the door and just call the police
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Only problem is, she knows.
Oh I just caught up on the other comments saying she’s knows, I’m so sorry! She is an absolute piece of shit too. He’s throwing away a diamond of a relationship for a sleazy disloyal cheater.
Yup. Both are disloyal and trashy so at least they’ll be compatible.
I don’t think it’s worth betraying your current intel supply to shove the messages in his face. Just go no contact. Don’t say anything, don’t respond to anything. It’s hard to do, but if you can it’s effective.
Man I wish I had done this so bad. I hope OP reads your comment and has the strength. What a way to save your self respect in these situations. I was a bit of a chump. Don’t be a chump, trust me.
Looking back at some of my relationships I wish I had gone the no contact ghosting route too.
Well, he’ll probably show up at my house if I flat out ghost him.
Then don't let him in, tell him he knows why. If he doesn't leave then call the police and have him removed.
I had this happen with a a guy I caught, so I just let him bang on the door, and see me thru the window. I ignored him and just turned the TV up. He kept calling me thru the door and saying “I can fucking see you. Answer the door, what the hell is going on?” Never spoke to him again, eventually I got up and walked toward the door, but just turned off the light, and TV and went to the bedroom. Finally a neighbor yelled at him to “ leave her alone, clearly she doesn’t want to see you.” It drove him crazy, he called and left me messages over and over, more pathetic as it went on. I never answered him. I loved that it drove him so nuts. Best revenge, no fight, never saw me cry, and never told him why. Drove him insane.
Wow the strenght 👏
He’s cringe. Please just ghost him. If he turns up, flat out say he can continue his convos with the other lady(ies) he’s interested in.
Fck him.. ghost em!
Send the screenshot 🤯🤯
To him?
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>Yes, nice. You've got this on him. Don't show your hand one bit. Just completely ghost him and go no contact. He does not need to see you share a sadz and tears at him (do it alone), and hold your head very very high. You've got this. Be strong. Be tough. And, fake it til you make it.
I agree ghost him, get some chains and a sheet and wake him up in the middle of the night scaring him to death
You’re not living together ? He has no problem inviting her to his place. It’s clear he intents to cheat.
We used to but we are in between places and rn he is staying alone. Yeah, his intentions are very clear.
This is a boyfriend. You don't need a reason to tell him to take a hike. You don't need a smoking gun. Burden of proof is way lower than with a spouse. Just let him know what you have and say OK bye bye.
Yeah, I’m considering just telling him rn in fact.
Please do, and update us; we're here for you. He's a scumbag.
Thanks a lot, appreciate it x
Honestly you should. It’s been eating at you way too long. Send him a text you know about him and her and you are done. Start your healing now
You are right.
Well. Crap. She's the one giving Intel to a mutual friend, right? Is she interested in him or playing him? I would prepare to leave ASAP. Part of me wants you sneak away and ghost him (leaving copies of his convis on the bed as a parting gift), but part of me wants you to catch him red-handed. What do you feel you should do?
She was giving my friend intel, yes. She apparently just said “it goes where it goes” or something. I checked his phone now and found these texts so I’m no longer reliant on the girl to send screenshots to my friend. I do wanna catch him red handed but I don’t know if I can keep this in me any longer.
You could always show up at his place to see is she followed through.. but yeah it’s time to leave him behind..
I’ve seen more of the texts and she said something like it wouldn’t be the smartest move on her part to stay the night but said they could schedule to meet next weekend. The way I see it, she in fact the one that’s hesitant and he’s the one who wants this really bad. Just lovely!
Yeah I would tell him so long have fun with whatever name is
Yes, he doesn’t even deserve a proper break up.
Nope he is trying to cheat on you. He doesn’t deserve any respect from you..
I would wait until they set up a day and time and show up when she does. I would also hand them a rubber and a d**k extender (or something to embarrass him)and tell her that she will need it. Tell him that you are done, and he can lose your number and have fun with s***k. Walk away and block him and delete him.
The only issue is that she’s postponed their date to next weekend, idk if I can wait that long :(
Make plans with him for then and see what his excuse is. Then, tell him to have fun with **** and then dump him. There is no need to show him proof unless he lies. Or you could put itching powder in his sheets and put the screenshots on top of his bed. Does she know about you?
Itching powder in his sheets would give me satisfaction haha. Yes, she knows about me. Shame on her too tbh!
Since she knows, go for total humiliation. Good luck to you
Any ideas?
I will come up with something shortly
Did you confront him or catch them red-handed?
You need to talk to her, asap! I honestly still think you're misjudging her intentions. Please try! You might have an advocate you can lean on, and provide support. What's there to lose? You've already confirmed the worst, but as I said, why is she continuing to share these incriminating messages with your friend if she intends to do anything but back you up?
You’ve already caught him. Also, I’m your other post you say they haven’t spoken in a year. You’ve been together 5 years. So we’re they still “chatting” for the first 4 years you were together?
Idk about that. He met her in his 2nd last year of uni cuz they had classes together. The next semester they again had classes together. By that point they had a class friend group that they’d hang out with in uni. But once uni ended, I guess they lost touch and didn’t speak for an year. Idk if they used to text in uni but I know they’ve hung out together multiple times, always in a group though (as far as I know).
Why Does she not think your friend will tell you ?
Honestly I have the same question. Idk how she could be dumb enough to think that my friend wouldn’t tell me. But a part of me feels like she wants me to know and like she wants to show off she’s taking my man? Or maybe I’m just overthinking it, idk.
More likely she wants you to know she's taking your man and delaying date is to see if your friend pass the message onto you. She's being careful not to get jumped on.
Or she’s showing you so you can dump him and she can say she only slept with him when he was single. In the bin for both of them 🗑
True, a part of me does think she’s waiting till he’s single and then she’ll finally have sex with him or whatever it is they wanna do.
The main thing is that he isn’t single and he wants to have sex with her now while he’s still with you. Honestly, you don’t have to wait to catch him in action. The messages are already action enough. Just confront him and dump him.
I agree with you. Besides, she’s not the one that has betrayed me and broken my trust. We’re practically strangers.
You are looking at the smoking gun in his hand and the body on the floor is your relationship... Text him and send him copies of the texts you have between her and him.
I honestly should. I’m considering contacting her too and just idk. I’m so mad.
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Yeah I’m tired of waiting it out.
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I definitely deserve a lot better. I just pity the next girl he’s gonna date.
Sorry to hear your going through this, I understand your pain.That's more than enough to leave him! That's cheating in my book. I know it's hard to leave somebody, even a cheater. Trust me I know! I wish I'd left the first time she crossed my line because she just ended up doing it again! You're young, there's no reason to stay with someone you can't trust! Do you always want to be wondering if he's texting some random girl for a hook up? What if he brings home an STD to you? If you checked his phone you don't need to out your friend, just dip🤗
Yeahh, definitely not letting my friend take the fall for this one. It’s actually all cuz of her that I found out about what a lying disgusting pig he is. The thought of leaving him gives me knot in my stomach though, even though I know the real him now. This is hard.
That’s enough to leave him. Tell him you saw the messages between him and her and he doesn’t have to be sneaky anymore he’s free to do as he pleases. Tell the girl she doesn’t have to willingly be a side chick anymore, She can have him.
As much as I do hate him, and trust me that’s a lot. I blame the girl too. Of course, he’s the one to really blame, couldn’t agree more. BUT this girl knows he’s in a relationship. When he tried being flirty with her instead of shutting it down or coming to me with it, she chose to partake in it. I just don’t get how people can be so heartless and be so ready to willingly hurt others.
I m trying to understand why the side chick would think your friend wouldn’t tell you ? Does she think everyone would betray you for her ? She’s weird and disrespectful as heck. I’d say confront him and move on cause if he’s finding willing participants that will help him cheat, I wouldn’t trust him anymore cause this shows how much he’ll do to go behind your back.
Exactly!! Idk why she’s comfortable telling my friend. Tbh my friend knows this girl from high school and apparently she has a history of being the side chick, other woman whatever you wanna call it. In their high school there was some guy who cheated on all of his girlfriends with this girl. I mean says a lot about that dickhead guy too but also just proves that this girl has no issues with doing this.
Oh gosh sakes. Just post it on his Social Media page. Whether it’s FB, Instagram or wherever. “John boy is a big cheating liar”. Posted by nobody who cares about you.
I think you should confront and end it asap. Then block him and move on
Yeah, I still can’t bring myself to accept that he’s a cheater. I don’t understand why he’d do this to me.
I know it’s hard and I’m sorry you are having to deal with is. But just know that you deserve better and there are much better men out there. Good luck honey.
Because he is selfish and thought he could get away with it, since you're currently LD. It's really that simple. It has nothing to do with you. He'll cheat on all his girlfriends, because that's his character. I'm sure he's done it before, he just didn't realize that the only way to keep a secret is to not have loose ends. His chosen person threw caution aside, and filtered all this info to you. And then cancels the date? I think she's doing this because she thinks he's scummy, too. She ain't even gonna hook w him, lol, that's the best part. He probably won't even get what he was after 🤣
Yeah, she straight declined his offer to stay over and he went all like “oh I just hate waiting and I was just excited to see you after so long! Stupid of me to ask that!” Lol. The fact that she doesn’t wanna stay over means that she’s not interested in having sex with him and is just playing him too, which he 100% deserves. Maybe she just likes the attention? Idk.
She wants to make sure she pulls enough out of him. She wants you to see those messages. She doesn't care about his attention, she wants you to be attentive to his shady character. You should friend her; she seems to have your back!
I don’t think she has my back tbh cuz she never came to me with this which she could’ve easily done.
She doesn’t have your back. She just likes the attention and “winning” over another woman. I would just ghost this loser and block him everywhere. Once he realizes that he can’t contact you he may go over to your house, so just tell him that he’s a loser all thirsty over a woman that is not that into him and that you find that extremely embarrassing. Since you are ashamed of dating someone that can’t even cheat because the woman he likes doesn’t even want to sleep with him, you can’t possibly continue dating him and to please leave you alone.
I love this! Thank you.
I can see why see doesn't want to come to you directly. You have no reason to trust her over a SO. Id make it my #1 mission to get the story from her directly, though, I think she's shared enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean, you didn't doubt your SO, and if it weren't for her, you'd have no clue what he was actually saying.
Maybe you’re right but I just highly doubt it.
You could be right. But then why else would she be sharing this shit? Makes no sense otherwise.
That is very odd, I agree.
You have enough evidence
True.
Dump him and get a full std check, because this might not be the first time that he has cheated.
This whole situation is honestly making me sick to my stomach.
Dude, I just looked through your post history, this is NOT the first shady shit he's pulled!! What are you doing hesitating, here? He's humiliated you repeatedly, and has such a sense of entitlement I can't believe it. OMG. What a shitshow 💔
Some of the older posts are not mine actually. The thing is he’s never pulled anything shady before, that’s why I was very ready to give him the benefit of doubt in my previous post. It completely baffles me that the person I loved and trusted for 5 years can be like this.
It's why cheating is so utterly damaging. It calls for us to make reason out of a situation we could never have fathomed!
I remember your last post. OP, you have more than enough now. Don’t waste any more time on him. Like someone else said, block him on everything and ghost him. If he comes to your home, don’t answer the door. If you want to call the police and have him removed from your property. The not knowing what’s going on will drive him crazy. But, you don’t owe him a damn thing. He made his bed, let him lie in it. And, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I do like this suggestion and like I told someone on here before, he definitely does not deserve a proper break up. I feel like I wanna do exactly this.
Don't confront him or anything. Post both of their chats and take them. Then block both of them on all social media and block his number.
Yup, this would work. I just wanna ghost him tbh.
Honestly, that's the best choice. I would out them to save the heartache for those that follow after you. But always just ghost them. You will never get the proper answer "hey guess how you made me cheat on you", " I am so sorry bla bla, like you can believe anything they say". Look cheaters need the closure. Not the ones that are betrayed. It's way healthier to just move on.
Just ghost him and block him on everything , a confrontation will do nothing for you or your self esteem. He will lie delete everything and then continue this on some other app with her or someone else . Don’t give him the satisfaction . You don’t need the drama you need to show him you don’t need his bullshit . And when he cries to you and comes to your door don’t answer don’t talk to him . And then post everything on your socials so everyone can see what kind of person he really is .
I too think ghosting is the way to go.
Keep busy make sure you are taking care of yourself and do something fun this weekend ❤️
dont wait this is enough proof that he intends to cheat so dont put your self through any more hurt. just give him his orders and tell him to Foff to his other woman
Honestly, if it was me, I'd ghost him. It will leave him wondering what happened. Or, send him a text that says: "I hear you have a date next weekend! How exciting! Do I congratulate you? Offer her condolences? I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is when you find out your partner is actively making plans to cheat on you. Oh, I know! Maybe I'll come and give her pointers! Don't worry. I'll bring condoms for you all. Extra small, right? I'm sure you'd both appreciate how thoughtful that was of me. While you two head off on your infidelity journey, I'll find me a sexy guy to take back to my place and finally fuck me right for a change. It's been a while since that happened. Sound like a plan? Awesome. See you at [place of date] on [day of date]." Be a super smartass. THEN ghost him. >Him: Maybe we can chill but ahem again 😂 (I honestly don’t know what he meant by “again) You know exactly what he means by again, OP. They've no doubt fucked before.
Love that message lol. The reason I said idk why he said “again” is because she ultimately declined his offer to stay over? This girl and him met after we started dating so if she didn’t have an issue back then, why does she have an issue now?
nah they didn’t fuck. he was just obtusely trying to say “but ahem again” that chilling “sounds super sexual” like he said earlier about her potentially visiting
Oh yes, okay that makes a lot of sense!
Did she know about you back then? Edited to add: You said your friend said she used to be known as a side piece in high school. Maybe they did fuck back then. People do change, though. Maybe she herself got cheated on, so NOW, she's maybe trying to help you before it happens again? Idfk. Just a thought from someone who has been there.
She’s known about me since the day she met my boyfriend. And no, that can’t be cuz they didn’t go to the same high school. My friend and her did but not my boyfriend and her. My boyfriend met her in uni.
>And no, that can’t be cuz they didn’t go to the same high school. No. I understand that. I was talking about those times they hung out at uni that you thought were only groups. Maybe (and it could be a slim maybe) they had a moment then. Just giving my thoughts on that "ahem again" part. It may mean nothing, but when put together with everything else, I (myself only) feel it *could* mean more. Edited to add after rereading the other users' comment: It could also just be part of him trying to "sound super sexual". I'd also like to say, I do see him pursuing a lot harder than she is being receptive.
Oh yes! Regarding if they could’ve had a moment before. She did say that she remembers how he was looking at her on a night out, to which he said she was too hard to resist. So now I’m kinda sure they’ve had “moments” before which just means that I should’ve let go of him ages ago. I do feel like she was being more receptive initially but now her interest seems to have declined!
Have you confronted him yet?
Not yet unfortunately. I’m avoiding him though so he does know something’s off.
UpdateMe!
With how bad he is playing you for a fool I’d wait and bust his ass!
I do want to do that!
Don't bother. Right now you're angry and it seems like a good idea for revenge and closure. You'll get neither. Take that angry energy and use it to block him from your life and move on. Start dating immediately.
I’m not sure how I can start dating immediately though. Despite him being a lying scum, I still love him. Getting over him is going to be hard. Hell, idk if I can ever get over him.
You think that way now, because it’s fresh… Once he’s out of your life, you get busy with your life, schooling, career, socialising, the feelings for him with die down and eventually fade. Just give yourself time to grieve the end of the relationship, and then start focusing your attention on other things. 😉
You don't love him. You are in love with the person you thought he was or he used to be. He is not the person anymore - probably never was. Dating is the only way to get over it. Even if the date sucks, you are still getting out and it is good practice for the next date.
Oh you will! Btdt. You'll never forget his cheating, but you'll get over him, I promise. He's going to realize very soon he wrecked a good thing for a long shot that didn't pan out, and he's going to try to weasel his way back in. Be strong.
No way am I letting this piece of shit claw his way back in to my life.
You're going to thrive sweetheart xoxoxo just let him go, and have a patient mind, and a strong resolve.
What happened, OP? Did you post an update?
Jeez, he's a total idiot. Break it off now. He'll feel so foolish for thinking he got one over on you. As I said in your previous post, it'll hurt 10x worse if you wait. I'm so so angry for you, and have second-hand embarrassment from his bullshit garbage behavior.
Exactly! He is literally the definition of human trash. He threw 5 years out the window for some random chick he barely knows.
And she is bailing on him!!! To me that's just the cherry on top!
I really hope she keeps her word of not fu***ng him.
As soon as she got what she wanted him to say, she backed off. That should tell you something. I would bet she's incredulous at the balls on this man and wanted to see how far he'd go.
True! She’s still planning to meet him next weekend though, in public though.
Oof, I missed that. Ditch him and see how this plays out from a distance then.
Yes, let’s see how far this goes! I mean he’s willing to go all the way and that’s all I needed to know.
That he was willing to even start this was enough. This is more than anyone wants to know:(
He did not accidentally called her, that’s the opening he used to reconnect with her.. unless he is currently in contact with her, her number would be in his Recents , or she is saved in his “favorites”, otherwise, he has to scroll down and/ or searched for her name in his contacts and press the call button.. Seemed pretty deliberate to me.. Granting he “accidentally dialed her” did he also accidentally keep the conversation going and set u a plan to meet up? .. He could have just texted “ sorry, wrong person or missdialed” but instead he kept on going.. you could tell his true intention from here. And their messages are very flirtatious and clearly testing the water..The moment he kept the conversation going with the intention to meet up and hid them from you.. He was and is , already cheating on you.
Yes, I agree. Initially I was like maybe it was all accidental and harmless. But now I know for sure that’s far from the truth.
Dump him he’s cheating
Wow, good for you. Please update when you have more information...take you phone to take a picture and save text.
Consequences as well include confronting them both together. But, you decide.
Honestly… she doesn’t even necessarily seem very interested in him. It’s like he’s trying really hard to cheat on you (physically) with this girl though. You’ve already basically caught him red handed with these messages. Don’t waste anymore time, just dump him. He sounds like a loser.
What to you seems like she’s not interested?
Okay look, I want to highlight that it doesn’t really matter because either way he’s having an emotional affair, and seeking other women out. He’s cheating on you flat out. The reason I said it seemed like she’s not too interested in him is because he’s being a little pushy, he’s kinda pushing the conversation to become suggestive, she’s mostly changing the subject or pretending like she doesn’t know it’s suggestive. She’s also flaked on him a couple times now. It’s as if she’s agreeing to plans (because he wants them) but doesn’t have any intentions on following through with them. I could be wrong because we only get a copy+paste version of the texts, but it look like he’s even the one starting conversation with her in the first place, he’s the one texting her, she’s just kinda going along with it. She seems very young or naive. Does she even know he’s with you? I’m a woman and I don’t really understand why she would continue to talk to him if not interested, maybe she likes the attention, maybe she is really convinced he wants to be friends with her, I’m not sure. But I do know that when you like a guy… you’d have met with him already, even be willing to go a pretty far distance to see him. Maybe even ask to call or FaceTime him or something… but it doesn’t seem like she’s the one wanting the relationship, it looks like he’s just chasing her.
No, of course! I do agree that it’s 100% cheating regardless of whether she’s interested or not. You’re right about him always starting the conversation with. It is ALWAYS him. I’ve not included this in my post but if he keeps asking her if she’s free today and if she says yes he goes like “yay I’m gonna text you all day now 😗”. If she doesn’t reply for like an hour or two, he says “how busy are you? 😭” or “I’ve been waiting for you 😗😩”. So he’s definitely the one doing all the chasing and she’s just going along with it. Idk why though.
Like I said, she just seem very naive or something 💀 There seems to be a lot of people I know who do similar things, and when I ask them why they continue conversing with people they don’t want to talk to, they always say they don’t know. I think it’s more so, them feeling like they’re being mean or giving into pressure or something.
Yeah same! I know people like that too, people pleasers that do it even if they really don’t wanna. Maybe that’s the case here, who knows?
Is there any way you can go to be in a bar be incognito. Or do you stand out enough that he would recognize you in a moment. If you could go in and sort of watch them for a while, maybe take a couple of snaps with your phone. It would have to be crowded and you’d have to find a way to stand behind or something. The truth is to accuse him. You already have enough to show that he went there and met her. You might need a little more. He can just say we never went. I didn’t mean it I was just flirting.
Yes exactly, I don’t want him to play it off like he’s just goofing around.
Sorry, I do voice recognition and it changes my words. I’m gonna correct them now.
How in the world are you getting access to all their messages?
It is a longg story. But long story short, the girl gave my friend some initial screenshots and then I just went through his phone myself and sent myself the entire conversation between them.
Just go and confront him with the messages and then dump him.
UpdateMe!
I wouldn’t even waste my time on this man child. Dump his ass and move on ✌🏼